Original subtitles

Don't. Touch. Anything.

So, all this stuff, what is it?

Well, you've got your motion sensors...

thermal cameras...

EMF meters.

And erm...

talcum powder...

You're actually serious about this, aren't you?

Of course.

I cannot believe you actually invited her to stay.

Well, if it means saving the pub, I'll do whatever it takes.

Mum, we can't afford this.

Not now.

You should at least charge her for a room.

And seriously... ghosts?

Secrets from the grave?

- Shhh. - Don't worry.

If there is...

a full torso...

vaporous apparition

haunting this pub

I will record it.

Ben?

Out here...

Ben? Ben?

It's coming from the bar!

She was here...

Oh, I'm going, I'm going. I merely came to discuss...

You came to sniff around for information and you won't get any.

It's our legal right to renew.

I swear to you, if you try to make trouble

I will personally make sure it comes back on you.

Montagues, eh?

They're all the same.

Is this a bad time?

Depends if you're with him.

Er no. I'm Lu Shakespeare.

This is Frank Hathaway, my partner.

Business partner. I wouldn't...

We're private investigators. I think you might have called.

Yes.

Melanie Montague.

Everything OK?

Oh, not really...

Sorry.

It's just this pub has been in my family for generations.

But every thirty years, we have to repurchase the leasehold

from that man's family. The Capulets.

Oh, the stress of it pushed my mother to an early grave.

Now I see why.

- Thank you. - Oh, I'm so sorry.

The last thing you want to be dealing with on top of it all

is someone disappearing.

What?

In your message you said that someone called Lil has gone missing?

Oh, "Old Lil", no, no, she's not missing. She's been stolen.

She's not a person.

"Old Lil" is an antique photograph.

A photograph? Really?

Of my great-great-grandmother.

Lillian Montague.

There's a long history of single mums running this place.

Fascinating.

She was taken from here...

and um, well, the police came.

Uh, a tall man, very angry with a silly moustache.

But um, he, uh, well, he didn't give a monkeys.

He just gave me a crime number.

Here. This is what she looks like.

I'm sorry, it's not very clear.

I only took it for insurance.

So, is "Old Lil" valuable?

Well, to me yes.

But not to anyone else?

Look, it's silly, but...

She's said to haunt the pub.

They say as long as her photograph remains on display

the hauntings will stay harmless.

But, if she's removed

she gets angry.

I know it sounds far-fetched

but honestly, the photo went missing yesterday afternoon...

and last night, she was here...

No!

Yes, there were broken glasses and fused lights

and this awful smell.

You think that was Old Lil?

Who else? The room was empty.

Please...

I'm at my wits end with everything that's going on.

I just, I really need her back.

Look, we'd really like to help but...

So, when you say she went missing

when exactly did you notice?

A pint.

My son will know.

Ben.

Um, Ben...

Oh, is that? It is.

- Is what? - Nothing, just be cool.

Ben, this is Frank and Luella.

I'm Lu. That's what my friends call me, so you can call me that.

I'm Ben.

I know!

- I know, I recognise you from the show. - Oh.

I love the show, Cake Off.

Thanks.

Ben's transformed this place.

He's designed cutting-edge, experimental dishes

to be served in an unspoiled rustic setting.

- We're after a Michelin Star. - We're not quite there yet.

Don't be so humble.

Yeah, don't be so humble, Ben. Sorry.

Frank and Luella are private investigators.

They're going to help us find Old Lil.

Private investigators?

Mum, this is crazy. We haven't got the money.

- Sorry? - It's the worst possible time.

It's important to me.

All I ask is you help.

Oi, Nick mate. Really?

It's supposed to be caramelised not cremated! Come on!

Please.

OK. So, what can I do?

Are we right in thinking you were around yesterday when Old Lil went missing?

No. She was taken some time between lunch shift and dinner shift

when the pub's closed. So between three and six. I was out.

What... erm...

Any signs of a break in?

No.

No?

Good.

And um...

was there anyone else who would have been around at that time?

Uh, my staff tend to take off between shifts.

The only people who might have been here were Mum and Penelope.

OK.

That's great.

I run the Stratford Spirituals.

Sorry, the Stratford...

Spirituals.

The online "Ghost Hunting" channel

and forum.

Oh, do you mind if I...

For my records.

I'm researching here.

You probably saw

my operations centre outside.

What? The old camper van?

My operations centre!

I asked Penelope to come.

So she's stayed here for the last three nights.

What a good idea.

In Lilian Montague's bedroom no less.

I'm taking readings.

And I'm shooting a vigil here tonight...

If I can find a cameraman.

Wow!

So, tell me, do you think any of your gadget-y things

might have captured whoever stole Old Lil?

Uh, no.

Is that why you're here?

Yes.

Yeah, we were told she went missing yesterday between three and six pm.

We were wondering whereabouts you were then.

Well, I was, um, out.

Out anywhere in particular?

Conducting an interview.

About Old Lil's infamous wager.

Sorry, wager?

Yeah, Lilian Montague ran this pub

like these guys

under a thirty year leasehold

from the Capulet family.

But...

rumour has it

that just before she died

she actually won ownership

of the pub and the land.

From the Capulet family?

Correct!

But the Capulets were so angry

that they actually killed Lil

in the middle of the night

right before she could register

the transfer deeds.

It's an old wives tale.

Hey, sometimes they turn out to be true.

So that's why I asked Penelope here

to see if Old Lil was trying to tell us something.

So, this interview you did yesterday, who was that with?

Stephen Capulet.

You know, the slime ball you met on the way in.

Look, we'd love to help, but we really are very...

Don't you worry. We will have that picture of Lil'

back on the wall before you know it.

Talk about scraping the bottom of the beer barrel.

Haunted pubs? Discombobulated spirits?

Wasn't that the name of the heavy metal band you sang in at school?

Very funny!

If it was, it'd be less humiliating.

No, my band was called Stallyon.

With a Y.

The fee on this job is a joke.

Oh don't be so cynical.

Who's to say that Old Lil's tormented spirit doesn't roam the corridors?

I saw a ghost once.

- Really. - Yeah.

Mr Biggles, my aunt's dog, a Bichon Frise

in the park, the day after it was run over.

You didn't think maybe it as just another Bichon Frise?

Anyway, I want to help this family.

You want to help the handsome celebrity chef more like.

I appreciate his craft.

Yeah, I saw you staring at it!

Come on, let's get this over with.

Run some checks on Melanie, Ben and Penelope Lawrence.

Uh, we'll check her alibi and see if we can track down this stupid photograph.

I want them gone.

I mean, I don't mind admitting it.

It's ridiculous.

We own the pub, we own the land

but they always manage to renew that leasehold.

And there they are again, for the next thirty years.

- Like squatters. - Oh, that's a bit harsh.

My family want back what is rightfully ours.

And it falls on me to deliver.

The family signet.

It's bestowed upon the one in the family in charge of the family's fortunes.

This small item carries a heavy burden.

Could you not just talk it through?

No.

I said to that Penelope woman yesterday.

A hundred years ago

the Montagues publicly accused my family of murdering Old Lil.

I mean, it's absolute hogwash.

Yeah, no, we heard.

We do not get along.

Right.

Could you tell us what time you spoke to Penelope?

I shall have to consult my diary. Come.

Come, come, come.

So, what exactly is this all about, eh?

Well, a family heirloom was stolen.

An antique photograph of Old Lil.

Hm, curious.

Won't you meet my son, Christopher.

- Chris. - Chris has got the sharpest mind

I know. I have no doubt he'll convince the board

he's a worthy successor to his father.

If indeed that's what he wants to do.

Oh tush!

There's no nobler cause behind which to rally ones talents.

I'm Frank Hathaway, this is Lu Shakespeare.

I actually know who you both are.

I tend to keep an eye on the Barchester Arms' social media.

- Oh... - Oh, that's...

It's posted by the Stratford Sprituals

but Melanie and her son have contribute to the page too.

Clever.

It's created lots of interest in the pub.

I bet!

Here we are. I had a meeting with Penelope Lawrence

at 10 am yesterday morning.

You sure? Sure it wasn't the afternoon?

Oh, she's... somewhat hard to forget.

Where's Frank again?

Visiting his special antiques contact.

Honestly, every time he comes back from there

he's got some kind of awful...

Angry Andy!

Ah, fabulous.

Another oh-so-tasteful trinket for the office, there.

Yeah, my contact won't talk unless I buy something.

Well, I hope it was worth it.

He hasn't seen Old Lil

but he has heard of her.

So, if she's not on his radar, must mean someone's sitting on her.

So to speak.

Stratford Star, what's this?

Your "paranormal scientist" Penelope Lawrence had a brush with the law.

Yeah, she's got a minor conviction for assault.

Um-hm, she injured someone

while faking ghostly activity at a séance she was filming.

I knew it.

Charlatan.

Oh there's no way she's in this game for the good of science.

I found all manner of hammy audition reels online.

This girl is after the limelight.

So stealing Old Lil would be the perfect story for her.

And it boosts business for the pub.

I wouldn't mind betting they're all in this together.

Oh, we've been used.

I reckon Old Lil's still in that pub.

Stashed in one of their rooms... or in that campervan.

What we need to do is find a way of distracting everyone

keeping them out the way while we can search the place.

Yes.

Ooh, what about Penelope's creepy vigil thing

she was throwing tonight until she lost her cameraman?

That could actually work.

All we need is someone on the inside.

You're doing that thing when you turn around

because you want me to go undercover, but absolutely not.

This is about ghosts and I have far too rich an imagination.

Bah, it's not like you have to dress up or anything, is it?

Footsteps.

Cold spots.

The disembodied sprit

of a murdered Landlady...

The Barchester Arms

is...

um...

is...

Sorry...

are you filming this?

No, just taking a light reading.

I'm trying to get my f-stops synchronised with the...

the shutter things.

Is there a problem?

No, no. I'm...

So, will you be trying to communicate with her?

I'm not sure yet.

Right, well...

I really don't want to be on camera

and I've got a lot to prepare for tomorrow, so I'll be upstairs.

Uh... no, no, no.

That's a bad idea that. I, uh...

Big creaky building like this

I'm going to pick up all kinds of noises.

So, I think it's best if everyone stays down here for now.

OK.

Ready?

Yep, we are ready to go.

Rolling. Sound speed.

Welcome.

To your nightmares.

Wow!

In the year 1900

it was here that Old Lil was found

dead at the bottom of the stairs.

And it is still here

that her footsteps

are said to be heard.

Lillian?

Can you hear me, Lillian?

Ask her. Ask her about the wager.

Ask her about the land.

Lillian?

Are you trying to tell us something?

- Hear that? - Shh!

It's coming from Old Lil's bedroom.

Follow me.

Oh no, wait, I, uh... batteries.

- Quickly! - Alright.

Quickly!

Incredible.

Nobody's there.

At least...

nobody living.

I don't think they saw us.

Did you find anything in the other room?

No, but...

Is that you?

- Oh, Frank! - No.

Ah, broken waste pipe.

Very interesting.

Why?

Because Melanie said there was a nasty smell

when Old Lil smashed the bar up last night.

Oh, yes.

If my memory serves me correctly

the bar is just there.

Huh?

It's open.

See.

Someone could have stood on this pipe

and climbed in if they had something to grab hold of.

What, like that wire?

It's her, she's trying to tell us.

It's about the pub, I know it.

Lillian!

We're here.

What do you want to say?

OK.

We're going to turn the lights off.

And switch to night vision mode.

Shh.

Hear that?

Lillian, is that you?

Come with me.

Was that Sebastian?

Yes, let's get out of here.

Right, keep rolling.

So, there we have it viewers.

The Barchester Arms

where Old Lil still stalks.

What does she want?

Perhaps we'll never know.

Send us your comments.

Penelope Lawrence. Out.

Right, cut.

That was a waste of time.

I did my part.

And by the way, I won't sleep for a week.

You can blame Frank for that.

Well, tomorrow I'm gonna call the Montagues

and put an end to this whole fiasco.

Oh, there's a message.

Message left at 12:40 am.

That was only ten minutes ago.

This is Penelope Lawrence.

Look...

I'm the one who took Old Lil.

I did it for the story.

But now...

I've worked it out.

Old Lil is more important

than any of you realise.

Only now they know it.

Oh no...

I think there's someone here.

You!

No... please... no.

Penelope!

Manual strangulation.

I mean signs of a struggle, but it's hard to tell, it's such a mess in there.

One thing's for sure, there was no sign of Old Lil.

If she was in there, then the killer must have taken her.

Guys! What are you doing here?

Can you turn that off please.

We're the ones who called it in, Viola.

Oh, sorry.

Listen, you better not touch anything.

If Sarge catches you here, there'll be more than one death tonight!

I mean, the man looks like he's sucked a lemon at the best of times

but you should see him when he get's called out of bed in the middle of the night.

He's a right grumpy old sod...

PC Deacon.

While the FME certifies the death

why don't you go stand on the road

and wait for the CSI team to arrive.

Preferably the middle of the road.

Yes, Sarge. Sorry, Sarge.

Before you start, the victim called us. That's why we're here.

We're looking for an antique photograph of Old Lil.

She's said to haunt the pub.

Penelope was a ghost hunter.

We think it might all be connected.

A ghost hunter?

I mean this is low, even for you, Frank.

- Look. - This is a murder investigation now.

You'll have to leave it to the big boys.

Oh.

Mrs Montague.

I'd like to take both of your statements.

Would you be more comfortable inside?

- Well, it just doesn't... - Yeah, sure.

It just doesn't seem real.

I mean, the poor girl.

You OK?

What did she find out that she shouldn't have?

Why is that photograph so important?

I need to have a proper look in her room.

It will be a good few hours till we get in there.

Oh...

Yes Mum!

Huh?

It's daylight. How long have we been here?

I didn't want to wake you cos you looked so peaceful.

You were like a giant baby...

Dribble.

Oi!

Anyway, Forensics have gone.

and I've just the milkman do a drop-off earlier and he left the back door open.

So, it's all clear. Come on.

Don't you wanna take the thing off?

Oh, yeah.

Let's be quick.

Oh!

Make yourself at home, why don't you!

This is all about Stratford-upon-Avon.

Historic families.

Oh.

Data stick.

The police missed that?

Almost missed it myself, though it was part of the telly.

Then I just...

This is all about Lillian Montague.

She was obsessed.

Yeah.

Here's a question for you.

What does Prosa mean?

Prosa? Pro-sa? Diary?

Prosa?

Morning.

Oh, thanks!

I splashed out on breakfast.

Thought you could use a proper cup of coffee.

Why don't you throw it in my face? It'll work quicker.

This data stick's gonna be no use.

It's just night vision photographs.

Empty stairways. Empty hall.

Empty bar.

Oh, what is that?

It's from a folder called "movement triggered camera".

Well, she had one of those set up in the bar.

This could be a break in.

That could be our man.

Can you clean it up?

I'll dust off my wand and see if I can work some magic.

Prosa!

It's not a word! It's an an-acronym!

An acronym?

Yeah, an an-acronym!

An acronym?

Yes.

Public Records Office of Stratford-upon-Avon.

Ahh!

Are these really necessary?

Yes, because you've got Danish on your fingers.

So, seems Penelope was onto something.

Staff have uncovered a diary from the 1900s.

They think it belonged to Old Lil

So they're bringing it into us now.

- Oh! - Shh!

- Thank you. - Shh!

- Sorry. - Shh!

Wow, look!

June 16th.

Old Cedric Malone passed away.

Alas, there goes half our income.

July 20th.

Supplier threatened to hike our prices today.

Until I threatened to counsel his wife on the filly he's been secretly seeing.

He saw sense.

I like this woman.

Shh!

September 5th.

Montague situation to improve!

Mr Capulet of course claims wager invalid.

But witnesses disagree.

The next couple of pages have been ripped out.

That's very convenient, isn't it?

Nope, she won't let me look in the log book.

Public Records policy, apparently.

Jobsworth.

Shh!

That's it. Get ready.

I'm gonna draw fire.

Draw what?

An accident, you might have to...

This lot flippin' fell on me.

Oh, it's a death trap.

Are you telling me you stacked those boxes properly?

That's a health and safety violation.

I'm gonna put in a complaint about you.

- I'm so sorry. - Shh!

Oh, ah, don't touch me.

S. Capulet.

Who is it?

I recognise that ring.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but no.

I have not been prowling around the Barchester Arms by night.

Are you sure about that?

That's a pretty familiar signet ring.

Small item that carries a heavy burden.

You broke into that pub.

Penelope Lawrence's camera caught you in the act, and now she's dead.

OK, OK.

Yes, I did...

break into the pub.

But I had nothing to do with that girl's death.

It was the night before she was murdered, I swear.

I went in through a loose window at the back.

The moment I got in, everyone came charging downstairs.

Let me guess, toppled a few stools, smashed a few glasses?

Not so much the ghost of Old Lil, more like the ghost of Stephen Capulet.

Why did you want to steal a picture?

It was nothing to do with Old Lil.

What then?

I was looking for banking documentation.

Why?

I thought if I...

If I knew which bank they planned to borrow the money from

to pay for the pub's leasehold

I could, you know, twist a few arms.

Simply make sure it didn't happen.

I don't think you understand.

They have me over a barrel.

They have first refusal on the lease.

It's piteous, I know.

My father always made it abundantly clear

he thought I was an abject failure.

That if I couldn't get that pub back into Capulet hands

I wasn't fit to wear the crest.

Very touching.

Where were you last night?

Here. With me.

It's the truth.

Uh, he's right.

We had supper late, about eleven

neither of us could sleep, so we went to bed around one.

If you have no interest in Old Lil

why did you tear out the final pages in her diary?

I... I didn't do that.

We saw your name in the personal records log.

I've never seen a diary.

On my life.

Someone must have used my name.

Sebastian talk to Viola...

I need to find out about this police investigation.

Families can really mess you up, can't they?

I mean, my mum's never actually said it, but...

I can tell she's always been a bit disappointed in me.

When I first qualified as a police constable

all my dad did was grunted and bared his teeth.

That's the closest you got to a "well done" in our house.

Thank you.

Oh...

What's that?

Read me.

Frank, it's the missing pages from Old Lil's diary.

September 6th.

Night falls.

The transfer deeds have been signed.

I won the wager fair and square

but I admit now, I'm scared for retribution.

Today had my "photograph" taken.

The new landowner at her fireplace!

If anything happens to me

look closely and the proof will be there in black and white!

And that's the last entry.

New land owner.

It was true about the wager.

Yeah.

And this... this must be the photograph she's talking about, right?

Her photo taken the very day she died.

But how does it provide proof?

I wish it was clearer. I can't see a thing.

Well somebody wants us to know.

All they'll prove is the Montagues rightfully own that pub.

Yeah.

Who though?

Any one of the people that we've spoken to

would do anything to get their hands on it, if they knew.

Who stands to gain the most?

I won't let the get their hands on it, Mummy.

Don't you worry.

Oh, Lu, Frank!

Any news?

No, sorry not yet.

Oh.

Something I can help you with?

Yeah, when was the last time you saw Old Lil's diary?

Diary? What diary?

You honestly don't know anything about a diary?

No, what does it say?

What about Ben? Did he mention anything?

No...

No, he...

Look, if there is something going on

it's probably best you tell us

before the police get involved.

Well, I went into the kitchens to look for his purchase orders

but instead I found this.

"Ben, I think we need to talk about 'Old Lil', P"

And that is... that's Penelope's writing.

And I found it with this.

So.

Penelope researches Old Lil

she finds out about the diary

she reads the diary

and she realises that the photograph is of real value.

Possible proof the Montagues own the Barchester Arms.

Right, so, she hatches a plan.

She steals the photograph

and then she sends a note to Ben saying they need to talk.

She explains it all to him.

She says he can only have the photograph back

at the right price.

Extortion for cash.

Yeah, I suppose.

They meet up and he just... sees red.

I still don't get how a photograph of some old biddy by a fireplace

- proves anything. - Nor do I.

Oh, hello Sebastian. Do you...

What?

Hang on. Ben Montague's been arrested for drunk and disorderly.

You what?

He's in a right old state, apparently, threatening people and all sorts.

Guilty conscience.

Yeah, Frank says guilty conscience.

Why's he going this way?

He probably needs some fresh air.

Maybe some coconut water... doughnut...

- Whatever. - Sausage roll.

Hang on!

It's me.

No, I am not OK. I'm in a serious mess.

You know exactly what about.

What's he saying?

Look, listen.

If we really are in this together, I need to see you. Now.

He's meeting someone.

Well, follow those buns.

He's anxious.

I bet he is.

His goose is well and truly cooked.

I don't get it though.

Who's he in it with?

His mum?

Chris Capulet.

They'll tear each other apart.

I'm not so sure.

Why did you do it, Ben?

Eh?

A rush of blood to the head?

A moment of madness?

Your mum found the note Penelope sent you, and the cash.

She was extorting you, wasn't she?

Trying to make you pay for Old Lil?

But instead, you killed her.

I didn't kill her!

And there was no extortion.

What was last night all about?

Look, the bank cancelled our business loan, OK?

And I know it was Stephen Capulet

dripping poison in our bank manager's ear.

- I know it! - So why come here?

I need Chris to talk to his dad.

To get him to do something.

Anything.

Hang on.

Why would he help you?

Because they're together.

For a few years now.

Except we have to hide it.

Mum would never speak to me again.

She's convinced that dealing with the Capulets is what killed Gran.

My father would sooner disinherit me

than allow a union that might keep the Montagues in his precious pub.

Nice try.

But the cash and the note show clear intent.

I never got to speak to Penelope about Old Lil.

She was dead before I had the chance.

The cash is for a supplier we owe, nothing else.

It's true.

Ben knows nothing about the diary.

Nothing about Old Lil.

Nothing about supposed "proof in black and white."

What proof?

Proof...

that the pub may already belong to your family.

So, it was you?

You sent us the diary pages.

Listen.

I thought telling them, I wouldn't be betraying anyone.

You more than anyone...

You know what that place is to me.

- And my family. - I'm sorry.

Me too.

- I'm handing this to the police. - No...

No, please, he didn't do it.

- I know he didn't do it. - How?

Because...

I was with him that night.

I was at the pub.

In his room.

I saw the two of you arrive. I snuck out before the police came.

The diary pages.

I didn't steal them.

I found them by chance.

In my father's drawer.

You see, I was with Ben the night of the murder.

Not my father.

I have a few questions for you, Mr Capulet.

If you'd like to come back to the station with me.

Well, well, well.

Old Lil.

Been looking for you.

Looks like we've got our man.

If you can call him that.

I can't believe you killed that poor girl.

Look, I only wanted to scare her, that's all.

I didn't mean to...

She was going to ruin everything.

Arrest him.

Put him in the car.

I suppose I should say thank you.

Ohh!

I've gone all tingly.

That's our evidence.

Hang on, I need a picture of that.

Oh, oh!

Oh, say it just one more time, please.

Just once.

He said thanks.

At least we found her.

Eventually.

Still doesn't prove anything though, does it?

Stephen going to prison doesn't stop the leasehold on the pub running out.

They've got less than an hour.

And still no money.

Perhaps they could open a new pub?

It's not just about the pub though, is it?

This has killed off the one hope of the two families uniting.

Chris and Ben.

You never know, people do turn things around.

Turn things around...

Sebastian, you're a genius.

I think I'm onto something, come on!

We haven't got much time.

Look mate, I know you want to serve that thing

but we'd actually really like to be alone for these last five minutes...

It's alright. Here. Give it to me.

No, don't do it.

What?

Old Lil said that the proof would be here in black and white.

And it is!

Sorry, but what's going on?

There's one tiny difference

between the fireplace in the photograph and the fireplace now.

What?

See this tile?

It's upside down.

Do you see?

That means that some point after this photograph was taken...

that tile was replaced.

That's my girl.

Ben?

I don't believe it... transfer deeds.

Signed by the Capulets as well as the Montagues.

September 5th 1900.

This is legally binding.

Good Old Lil.

She hid it because she was scared of what the Capulets would do.

So, I mean, this means...

The land is yours and the pub.

Oh!

Oh, Ben!

Oh, we can't thank you enough.

That's alright.

We've always said it's a very important case, haven't we, Lu?

Yeah.

Well, the least we can do is offer you a hefty commission on top of your fee.

And of course, a free drink whenever you're passing.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Do you know the only reason it worked out so well

is because Chris put his feelings before his family?

Must have been one of the hardest choices he's ever had to make.

Well, maybe after everything, it's time to let things go.

I mean, really.

What's in a name?

Go on.

Well...

You're passing now. So, I'm going to get you that drink.

What?

Say it.

OK. The case was worth taking. Alright?

Thank you.

Yeah. Finally the pub's in the hands of the people who care about it the most.

Who knows?

Maybe that's why Old Lil's spirit has been so restless all these years.

Right now, the only spirit I care about

is gonna be poured over ice in about two minutes.

I'll drink to that.

No, you won't. You're driving. Come on.

Do you think they do mocktails?