All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S03E15.The.OHara.Caper.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

(upbeat music)

- What's the matter?

- Why, does it show that much?

- Well you look about as
dismal as a bloodhound

with a head cold.
(audience laughing)

- I've been reduced to
writing the obituary column.

- What happened?

I'd read your mind,
but my hands are full.

(audience laughing)

- Well I missed out on
the biggest news story

of the year.

I was having lunch
with Lulubelle,

and right across the street,

there was a two million
dollar jewel robbery.

The entire Baudelaire
collection.

By the time we got over there,

every reporter in
town was there.

- But did you hear
the police sirens?

- I was having lunch
with Lulubelle.

- Lulubelle must be some girl.

- Yeah, wanna see her picture?

- Uh, never mind, Tim, I
think I get the picture.

(audience laughing)

- Well if only I could
have that lunch hour

to live over again.

Hey, Uncle Martin? I can.

Your time machine.

- My CCTBS?

It's too risky to be
used on frivolous things.

- Frivolous?

Look, we're talking about
my bread and butter.

The only step below obituaries,

is the unemployment line.
(audience laughing)

Anyway, I don't wanna
go back in history.

I just want to go
back to noon time.

- I don't think so.

It's too dangerous
for Earthlings

to know what's going
to happen next.

- Well now how could
it possibly hurt me

to know what's
gonna happen next?

I've been watching
TV re-runs for years.

(audience laughing)

(beeping)

(slow, ominous music)

(beeping)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

You'll never regret
this, Uncle Martin.

- I already do.

- Listen, this is going to
be the scoop of the year.

I can see it now.

I was an eyewitness to
a two million dollar

jewel robbery, an exclusive
account by Tim O'Hara.

That's gonna make the front
page, the story and picture.

See, I even brought my camera.

- Present century, this year,
this day, but what time?

- I wonder what kind
of a bonus there'll be?

A thousand? 500?

- Tim, please, not while
I'm setting the time.

I almost sent you
back to 1500 BC.

(audience laughing)

12:20.

Are you ready?

- I will never forget you
for this, Uncle Martin.

- Oh, I'm glad you reminded me.

I must attach this cerebration
electron memory shield,

so you won't forget
why you were sent back.

- For this one thing, I
could be set for life.

Hi there.

Oh excuse me, I...

Keep a sharp eye.
(audience laughing)

- May I assist you, sir?

- Oh yes, yes.

I was interested in the
Baudelaire collection.

- Oh certainly, sir,
if you will kindly

step in this direction.

Indeed a dazzling
array of precious gems.

Are you familiar with the
history of the collection, sir?

- No, no I'm not.

But I have a very good
idea as to its future.

(audience laughing)
- Indeed.

- Wow, what a haul.

- I beg your pardon?

- Well what I mean is,
this all must be worth

an awful lot of money.

- Indeed it is, in excess of two

and one half million dollars.

- Two and a half
million dollars?

Wow.

That's a lot of loot.
(audience laughing)

Has anyone ever held
this place up before?

(audience laughing)

- Before?

- Well, maybe I
shouldn't have said that.

You see, what I meant was...

Oh.

Oh, well you see
this is a camera.

I was gonna take pictures of...

I think, maybe I
better wait outside.

(audience laughing)

(slow, tense music)

- Well nice of you have
it all open and waiting.

- I don't know them.

- Be a good fella and
empty those into here.

(audience laughing)

(tense music)
(people exclaiming)

(tense music)

- Hey, my picture.

- I got one, I got one.

- Where?

- This is the look out man.

- I heard him.

He said this would
set him up for life.

- What?

No, I'm a newspaper man.

Look, I can prove it, I'll
show you my press card.

Let me just show you my press--

- I knew it.

- Anyone know if
they have a newspaper

that they publish
in San Quentin?

You're very strong.

But Detective Brennan, me?

A jewel thief?

Well that's ridiculous.

I mean...

That's even laughable.

- This is a very serious
charge, O'Hara, grand theft.

- Well you know I'm not a crook.

I mean, what would I
do with the jewels?

Half the time, I don't
even wear a tie tack.

(audience laughing)

- I want you to tell
me the whole story

because believe me,
I want to help you.

- Well I'd be glad
to, because I know--

- Starting with
what you were doing

hanging around the
scene of the crime.

- Oh, well that's easy.

You see, I already
got a picture of--

Oh, no, no, I mean
I went over to...

I just happened to
go by because...

I think you're
right, I need help.

Listen, why don't you
talk to Uncle Martin,

because this is all
so confusing and

if you won't listen to me,
perhaps you'll listen to him.

- Why? What does he know?

- Oh, nothing.

I mean he knows a lot
about a lot of things--

- Tim, I thought this
didn't sound like you?

- What do you mean by that?

- It was that fagan.

That fagan you live with who
forced you into it, wasn't it?

- Huh?

- Home all day, no
visible means of support.

- [Tim] But--

- Oh, I should've recognized
that devious mind at work,

twisting you, bending
you to his evil ends.

- Uncle Martin?

- Now I want you to tell
old Bill the real truth.

After all, to believe
that story of yours,

wouldn't I have to
be pretty stupid?

- (chuckling) I
refuse to answer that,

on the grounds that it might
antagonize a police officer.

(audience laughing)

I told them who the crooks were,

all you have to do is catch 'em.

If anybody wants to.

- Oh yes, the real
crooks as you call them.

You gave us an
excellent description.

These the men?

- [Tim] Yeah, I'd
know them anywhere.

- Roger the Rake
and Slippery Sam,

two of the most notorious jewel
thieves on three continents.

- Well, that's that.

- Beautiful planning.

Unfortunately your
Uncle Martin should've

been a little more thorough.

- What do you mean by that?

- Roger the Rake
and Slippery Sam

are presently serving
prison sentences

for breaking and entering.

- They're in jail?
(audience laughing)

- For the last 362 days
and the next four more.

So you see, they
couldn't have robbed

Lorraine Jewelers today.

- Uncle Martin.

- How did you get in here?

Under arrest, I hope.

- I'd hate to disappoint you,

but I'm here on
my nephew's behalf

as an amicus curiae,
friend of the court.

- Take a tip, O'Hara.

I think you're going to
be needing the friend,

because right now I
have a pretty good idea

who's the real mastermind
behind this caper.

- Careful, Brennan, or you
may end up getting sued.

- May I ask on what grounds?

- Impersonating a detective.
(audience laughing)

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I should like to avail

myself of the legal
right to confer privately

with my nephew.

- Don't think you're making
a fool of me, O'Hara.

- Why should I?

When you have such a
perfect do it yourself kit.

(audience laughing)

- Uncle Martin, Brennan says the

two crooks that I saw
are still in jail.

Now if they are, how
could they possibly--

- I don't know, yet.

But let's make certain
that they are the men

you saw robbing Lorraine's.

- Well now how
are gonna do that?

- But putting the futuroid
camera in reverse,

making it a pasteroid camera,

so we can take a picture
of the actual robbery.

- Oh, I see.

Sort of an on the spot picture.

Taken off the spot.

- Now, just stay where
you are for a moment.

Now...

- [Tim] I was right.

This proves it.

- To us.

Unfortunately, we can't show
this picture to the police.

- Well we've gotta
show them something

to get me out of here.

- I know.

We can get you out,
temporarily at least,

by posting bail.

- Oh, can't you come
up with something

just a little bit more
permanent than that?

- In due time.

First I have to do something
that would absolutely

delight Lieutenant Brennan
if he ever found out.

- What?

Go back to Mars?
(audience laughing)

- No, become a jail bird.
(audience laughing)

(slow, ominous music)

(rattling)
(audience laughing)

Hey, screws.

Ain't no tin can jail
gonna hold Soupy Stanley.

Crummy screws.

Fake screws!

What are you looking
for? The parole board?

- Cameras.

You gotta be makin'
a 1935 movie.

(audience laughing)
(rattling)

- Must you?
(audience laughing)

- What?

- I said, must you?

- You a trustee?

- Of course not.

- You sure talk like a trustee.

(audience laughing)

- Now if you don't
mind, I'd like

to listen to the radio.

- Hey Mac, how's about
you and me bustin'

out of this no good
crummy tin can, huh?

- No thanks, killer.

We'll be gettin' outta
here in three days, anyway.

Through the front door.

- In three days?

No kiddin', eh?

Hey, you wanna
knock off a vault?

I know a beautiful,
overstuffed vault,

just beggin' to blow.

Now, I'll...

- No thank you. Shh!

(audience laughing)

- You sure you ain't a trustee?

- [Radio] And on the
crime front, the police

have no further trace of
the missing jewel thieves

who escaped with a record two
million in gems yesterday.

It is thought that they may
be over the boarder by now.

- Ha ha, the think
we went over the bo--

Excuse me .

- [Radio] Stocks showed
a steady gain today.

(bell ringing)

(upbeat music)

- Three more days
of this kinda eats,

then it's oysters Rockefeller.

(hitting)
Excuse me.

(upbeat music)

(buzzing)

(phone dial clicking)
(audience laughing)

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

Oh hi there Lulubelle.

- Lulubelle?

I take it there's
someone in the room

and you can't talk.

- That's what I like
about you Lulubelle,

you sure know how to take it.
(audience laughing)

- No matter, I'll
do the talking.

Our two suspects
managed a perfect alibi

by escaping through
a loose cement block

in the cell floor,
robbed Lorraine's,

hid the jewelry, and got back
before they were discovered.

To exonerate you, we've
got to let Brennan

catch them with the
loot red handed.

And I intend to set
that up tonight.

- But Lulubelle, don't
you think your two friends

are sort of locked into
the idea of staying home?

- That's my problem.

To get them to want
to escape again.

- Well I call that
a break (laughing).

- They'll be heading
for Sherman Woods,

so at 10 PM, I want
you to be waiting

a quarter of a mile up the
west road inside the woods.

Brennan of course
will be tailing you.

Just be sure you don't lose that

overblown parking meter reader.

- Now, now, Lulubelle (laughing)

flattery will get you nowhere.

- I guess you two
would like to be alone.

You and Lulubelle.

(upbeat music)

- Listen, Lulubelle,
I mean Uncle Martin.

Our friend is gone,
and believe me,

he has no idea he's being used.

No, I completely pulled
the wool over his eyes.

Oh now come on, Uncle Martin.

Have you forgotten
that theater arts

was one of my majors at UCLA?
(audience laughing)

- I'm positive the suspect
will be rendezvousing

with his accomplice tonight.

And guess who's gonna
be right on his tail?

He suspect that I suspect?

Captain, how could he?

Did you forget that theater arts

was one of my majors at Yale?
(audience laughing)

(slow music)

- Don't shoot, Roger did it.

What, what's the idea?

- That's what I wanna know.

How's a guy gonna get
any rest around here

with you shootin' your
mouth off all night long?

- He was talking in his sleep?

- Yeah, like a stool
pigeon in the DA's office.

Some kind of jazz
about gettin' away

with a million bucks
in gems and burying it.

(laughing) I'll say one thing,

you sure got big budget dreams.

- Yes, well why don't you
just go on back to bed?

Sam won't be talking in
his sleep anymore tonight.

Isn't that right, Sam?
(audience laughing)

- Excuse me.
(audience laughing)

- I hope so.

If there's one thing
that keeps me awake,

it's a good robbery story.

(slow music)

- My dear Sam, do you realize
you nearly spilled everything?

- How'd I know I
was a sleep talker?

- We've gotta figure out some
way to get him transferred

to another cell tomorrow.

- Maybe we could tell 'em
he talks in his sleep.

(audience laughing)

- But tonight you've
got to stay awake,

and I'm going to stay
awake to make sure you do.

Now, lie back and start snoring.

Under no condition, fall asleep.

(audience laughing)

(snoring)
(audience laughing)

(buzzing)

(audience laughing)

(upbeat music)

(buzzing)
(tense music)

- Huh? What? What happened?

- I'll tell you what,
you fell asleep.

And he found the tunnel, you
must've done some more talking.

- You think I told him
where we hid the loot?

- I think you'd better
start carrying a silencer.

For your mouth.
(audience laughing)

Let's hope we're lucky
enough to get there

before our room mate.

Move, hurry.

- [Sam] Hey, Roger,
it's dark down here.

(slow, tense music)

- [Roger] One, two,
three, four, five.

Here.

Sam.
(audience laughing)

- Uncle Martin?

Hey, Uncle Martin?

(buzzing)
- Shh.

Where's Brennan?

Or did you forget
this little melodrama

is for his benefit?

- No, he should be
right now there.

I drove slowly enough to get
pinched for double parking.

(audience laughing)

(upbeat music)

- Car 341, Lieutenant Brennan.

Have followed suspect
to Sherman Woods.

Barricade Highway
56 and close in.

I am certain he's about to
lead us to stolen jewelry.

As you know, captain.

- [Captain] Yeah, you majored
in criminal psychology

at Dartmouth?
(audience laughing)

- Over and out.

It was at Duke.

(audience laughing)

(upbeat music)

- That bird brain Brennan.

As usual, he's off
on the wrong trail.

- After all the times we told
him to get lost, he picks now.

(audience laughing)

(buzzing)

(audience laughing)

- If only Brennan's legs
moved as fast as his mouth.

Your camera, it's
our only chance.

Now, Tim, now.

(slow, tense music)

- Well we beat Soupy Stanley.
- Yeah.

- Come on, let's go.

- Got it.

Now to write my acceptance
speech for the Pulitzer Prize.

(audience laughing)

- May I remind you that
you're still out on bail?

Or to put it another way,
we're not out of the woods yet.

- Oh come on, Uncle Martin.

What freak thing could
possibly louse us up now?

(slow, tense music)

- Don't make a move,
I've got you covered.

Well, if it isn't the
happiness boys of Maple Park.

Caught you red handed, didn't I?

- The law.

- Bury it, quickly.

If we're caught with
this, we'll get life.

- Well if you'd
just use your eyes,

with their magnificent
2020 vision,

and look in here.

- And give you a chance
to pull a fast one?

O'Hara, what kind of an
idiot do you think I am?

- I'd be delighted to give
you a detailed breakdown,

if I had the time.
(audience laughing)

For now, will you just
take out word for it

that the real thieves
are right in here?

- O'Hara, I wouldn't
take your word

it was raining if I was
standing in a cloud burst.

(audience laughing)
(buzzing)

(audience laughing)

- Hurry up.

You're slower than
your own brain.

- All set.

(buzzing)
(tense music)

(audience laughing)

- What did you mean all set?

Are you crazy?

- I just got through burying it.

- You call that burying it?

Lucky you didn't
become a mortician.

(audience laughing)

Now it's buried.

(slow, tense music)
(audience laughing)

- You see that?

- I hope not.

- You think maybe we could've
buried it on a bed spring?

(audience laughing)

(buzzing)

Gopher?

- I don't care what it is.

- I ain't stayin' to find out.

- This is impossible.

- Hey, this stuff ain't human.

I mean, it is human.

Hey, Roger, what do I mean?

- Give 'em up,
give 'em up there.

- Please, take us back to jail.

- We confess everything.

Can't fight evidence like this.

- Lock 'em up boys.

Be sure and collect
all that jewelry first.

I wonder what
happened to Brennan.

- Well, it's good bye
to the gray society.

(audience laughing)

- Congratulations, Brennan.

Those two cons confessed
to the whole schmear.

You sure had the right hunch

about the two guys that were
behind this whole thing.

- I did?

I mean, yes, didn't I.
(audience laughing)

Oh, captain, this is O'Hara.

He's a reporter
on The Daily Sun.

- Oh, of course, O'Hara.

Always glad to have
the press on hand.

Be sure to spell the name right.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, Brennan, it's
distressing to see

how incompetent certain
of our defenders

of law and order really are.

- Yes, yes.

I'd say that we have a valid
claim for false arrest.

- False arrest?

O'Hara, uh, Martin, to him.

I know we've had
little differences

in the past, but underneath--

(upbeat music)

- Good afternoon, Tim.

Or was that a bad
choice of an adjective?

- You're looking at a
Pulitzer Prize loser.

(audience laughing)

- Don't tell me your
films didn't come out.

- Well if you must know,
they didn't even go in.

- You couldn't have forgotten
to put film in the camera.

- Wanna bet?
(audience laughing)

- Tim, what am I
going to do with you?

- That's just what
my editor said.

I'm back in obituaries.
(audience laughing)

- Then after all
this, you ended up

exactly where you started?

Don't you believe now that
you can't change your history?

- Yeah.

But, I'm a good reporter.

It's just that, I don't see--

Oh yes, I do.

- Yes you do, what?

- Uncle Martin, look.

If you could send me back in
time, again, to yesterday,

I could load the film now.

And then I'd be--

- Yes?

You'd be what?

- Back in obituaries.
(audience laughing)

(upbeat music)