Original subtitles

(tense music)

(playful music)

- Tim.

Tim!

Time, wake up.

Wake up, Tim!

(audience laughs)

- [Tim] Go away.

- Tim.

Tim, wake up, this is important!

Tim, I was up in the hills working on my ship,

when the magnetic device overcharged--

- Call an auto club.

- Tim.

(playful music)

(audience laughs)

- [Tim] What's,

well, where have you been, have you been up all night?

- Shhh, yes.

Unfortunately, yes.

Now there's something I've got to explain to you

right quick.

- [Tim] No, wait, wait, wait.

There's something I've got to explain to you.

This is Saturday.

Now don't wake me up until Sunday,

next Sunday.

- Tim, Tim.

Tim, this is no time for levity.

Come here, I wanna show you something.

We are in trouble!

- [Tim] What kind of trouble?

(Tim grunts)

- Shhh.

- Shhh.

(gentle music)

That's trouble?

- [Announcer] We interrupt this broadcast

to bring you a bulletin.

Tracking stations across the world have just confirmed

the disappearance of the Slabodian astroship

which was orbited into space yesterday.

The ship and its woman pilot vanished abruptly

from the radar screens somewhere

over the North American continent.

Stay tuned for further developments.

(tense music)

- That's trouble.

(climactic music)

(enigmatic music)

(Martian beeps)

(Martian beeps)

(cheerful playful music)

(playful music)

- Uncle Martin, would you mind answering

a couple of questions?

- If I can.

I'm not exactly oozing self-confidence at the moment.

Permitting my magnetic device to overcharge

and pull her ship out of the stratosphere

was sheer carelessness, Tim.

- Well, yeah.

But,

well, how come she wasn't hurt when her spaceship crashed?

- I activated a small antigravity field

in time to cushion the shock.

Zelda was knocked out--

- Hold it!

Her name is Zelda?

- No, but I don't think we should even whisper

her right name, Tim.

This entire incident must be kept under wraps.

- Well, I can understand that.

But why Zelda?

- She reminds me of a girl back home.

- Oh.

Well if I had a girl like that back home,

I'd never leave.

- I'm sorry I did.

This entire incident never would've happened.

See what she's doing now.

(gentle music)

- Ah.

She's sleeping.

Is she ever a dream?

Why don't we have astronauts that look like that?

- They're not girls.

- Good point.

What happened to her spacesuit?

- She's wearing it.

I reassembled its molecular structure

while she was unconscious.

I also cleared her memory and put it on here.

- What?

Her memory's on this?

- Recorded on Martian tape.

- How about that?

- No, no, no, no, Tim.

You play that and you'll acquire Zelda's memory.

It only has to be heard to be absorbed.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Well then she doesn't remember anything.

- Oh, I wouldn't go that far.

Certain subconscious memories and attitudes always remain

that can be triggered by the proper stimuli.

- Hmm, well let's hope she doesn't get stimulated.

Well, if she doesn't remember,

just who does she think she is?

- My niece.

- Your what?

- I had to concoct something, Tim!

I told Zelda she ran away from home

after an emotional quarrel with her boyfriend,

and that she was on her way here

when she had a car accident.

- Which caused amnesia.

Ah, and she believes you?

- Why not?

Her mind's a blank.

- Hah, so is mine.

What do we do?

- Well there's one thing I can't do,

and that is to go to your space agency and say,

"Look, fellas,

"I happen to be a Martian,

"and I was fiddling around with my magnetic device."

- Uh-huh, forget it.

- On the other hand,

I can't allow your government

to take the responsibility, either.

- Well, all we can do, then,

is keep Zelda here and repair her spaceship,

and you can get her back re-orbited.

- Oh no, Tim.

We can't keep her here in this apartment.

- Why not?

- She's a girl!

(playful music)

- Well I'd be delighted to have Zelda stay with me.

- Why?

We are strangers.

- Uh, your niece isn't Irish?

- Uh, only on her father's side.

My brother met Zelda's mother in Transvania

and settled there.

- Transvania?

I don't believe I've ever--

- Well, it's just a little place, Mrs. Brown.

You see, you, you take a right turn at Luxembourg and a,

and a left turn at Liechtenstein.

- And you come to Transvania,

a country famous for its cheese.

- And its beautiful women.

- Oh, what a charming thing to say, Tim, isn't it?

- Is foolishness.

- Oh.

Uh, why don't you bring down Zelda's luggage

and I'll get her settled.

- Well, she doesn't have any, uh, luggage.

- I'm afraid Zelda's luggage, uh,

was destroyed in the accident.

- Aw, you poor dear.

Well, I'll lend you some of my things.

- Why?

You don't know me!

- Oh heavens, I'd do the same for anyone.

Now, come along and I'll show you your room.

- Uh, you're in good hands.

Don't be nervous, dear.

- I am never nervous.

- Well neither am I!

Well, now, isn't it lovely that we have so much in common.

Come along, dear.

Oh, George.

- George?

Who's George?

- First president United States.

Why I say that?

- Ah, because you're clever as well as pretty.

But I meant my nephew, George.

He's coming to visit.

Oh, I suppose I could put him on the sofa.

- Sure, kids don't mind roughing it.

- Oh, goodness, he's as old as you are, Tim!

And almost as handsome.

- Uh, uh,

why should he rough it, then?

Why doesn't he stay at my place?

- Well, now, aren't you thoughtful.

And I'll fix a lovely dinner for all of us tonight.

What would you like, dear?

- Grup-li-chas.

With sweet sauce.

(playful music)

- Well,

how do I look, Uncle Martin, hmm?

- Like a man with romantic ideas.

- Hahaha, you read my mind.

- I didn't have to, it's obvious.

Are you forgetting Zelda is a Slabodian astro-pilot, Tim?

- No, but she's a girl.

Oh boy, is she a girl.

- She is an efficient, dedicated representative

of her country's race for space supremacy.

I doubt if there's any place in her life for romance.

- But she's also human.

And so am I.

- We're much more advanced on Mars.

Where I come from, computers decide

if a man and woman are compatible.

- Oh.

Well, personally, I prefer the old-fashioned way.

(audience laughs)

- Don't get emotionally involved, Tim.

You and Zelda are completely different.

(Tim speaks in a foreign language)

I was referring, among other things, to the fact that

you're trusting and she's suspicious.

And she's cold as ice, Tim.

- All right.

But ice can be melted, Uncle Martin.

- Well, then consider the political ramifications.

- I don't wanna vote for her, I just wanna take her dancing.

- Will you be sensible, Tim.

I'll have Zelda's ship repaired

and have her out of here in 24 hours!

- 24 hours, do you have to be such an eager beaver?

- There's a world crisis at stake!

And what do you think will happen

to future Mars-Earth relations if it gets out that a Martian

pulled that ship out of the sky?

- I don't know.

Maybe they won't let Mars into the UN.

- To say the least.

Besides, you've only spent a few hours with Zelda.

You must admit, she didn't encourage you, Tim.

- True, but Rome wasn't built in a day.

- And you've only got a day!

24 hours, Tim, and she's out of your life!

- 24 hours.

Well where are you gonna get parts for Zelda's spaceship?

- From my ship!

- But you can't!

That'll, that'll delay your trip indefinitely

back to Mars.

- That's right.

- You're very unselfish, Uncle Martin.

- Yeah.

It's the way my mother raised me.

- Well, I, uh,

I guess mothers are the same all over.

And, if that's true, so is love,

with or without computers.

(enigmatic music)

- The girls are on their way up.

I better change.

(cheerful music)

- I couldn't wait to have you see how pretty Zelda looks.

- Oh?

(sultry music)

Like wow!

- Is good, "Like wow"?

- Oh.

Is great.

(audience laughs)

- I think about it.

What is this?

(tense music)

Ex over decimeter?

- Uh, uh, uh,

Uncle, Uncle Martin.

Uh, you see, Uncle martin is a, uh,

well, he, he's, he's an inventor.

He, uh, he diddles.

He doodles.

- Pressure factor.

007 squared.

- Oh, I know, it's a new pressure cooker.

- I never cook.

- Well, I'm gonna teach you.

A good cook makes a good wife.

Oh, uh, dinner is at seven, so don't dawdle.

George is already here.

- Who's George?

- Washington, first president of the United States (laughs).

(tense music)

(engine rumbles)

- George has been working on her for two hours,

and not all in the name of science, either.

- Jealousy is a human failing, Tim.

- I happen to be human.

So listen, uh, you certainly were gone a long time.

- I'm a Martian, not a magician, Tim.

Repairing a spaceship isn't like putting a washer

on a leaky faucet.

- Well what are going in here for?

- A washer.

Her ship's got a leaky faucet.

- Don't you think it's more important to find out

what George is doing first?

- You're right.

George may go too far.

- If he went to Zanzibar, it wouldn't be far enough,

as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, by the way, there was another bulletin.

The CIA announced that the search for Zelda's spaceship

is gonna be narrowed down to a specific area,

just as soon as all the date is coordinated.

- Did they say how soon that would be?

- Midnight tonight.

- Great galloping galaxies, Tim.

That means I have to get Zelda airborne

in less than 12 hours!

- Well, do you expect me to say hurray?

Forget it.

(Tim knocks)

- Be very quiet.

George is working with Zelda.

- I'll bet.

- George is giving her the visual association test.

- And what does that card bring to mind?

- Is a train.

Trains is too slow.

Systems green.

Okay.

Go, go!

- Uh, Hokay A-Go-Go, it's a new discotheque.

- I never heard of it.

- Then why don't you go?

(audience laughs)

- Let's see if this springs anything back.

(tense music)

(audience laughs)

- Is a pussycat.

- A pussycat!

(tense music)

- You poor dear.

- Maybe there's a pussycat inside the ship.

- If all goes well, I'll have Zelda's ship

ready to blast off in a couple of hours.

- Did you see the way he looked at her?

- Ah.

That's the least of our problems, Tim.

- Not to me!

- Well we don't know what George will come up with

that might trigger her memory.

He's a real danger, Tim.

- He is a wolf in psychologist clothing, that's all.

- Put your personal feelings aside, Tim.

The immediate problem is for you to keep George away

from Zelda until I return.

- But I thought you didn't want me to get involved with her.

- Ah, yes.

But this involvement would be in the cause of world peace.

- Well, in that case, I can't wait to get involved.

- Well don't get carried away.

Now, I'll leave the tape recorder here.

Just don't let me forget it tonight.

I have her conscious memory here, Tim.

But Zelda still has her self-conscious inside her.

So, whatever you do, don't let George hypnotize her.

(Tim laughs)

- You underestimate the old master.

He won't get near her.

- You're tired.

Very tired.

(metronome ticks)

You're going to sleep.

Sleep.

(suspenseful music)

You're floating.

Floating.

- [Zelda] Floating.

- What do you see?

- Emptiness.

Stillness.

- Greetings!

(audience laughs)

- I almost had Zelda under, O'Hara!

- Oh, sorry (laughs).

Here.

- For me? - Mm-hm.

- Why?

- Well, I've always felt that beautiful ladies

should have beautiful flowers.

- They're usually aren't picked out of a flower box.

- Is not important!

Is nice thought.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

(metronome ticks)

Hey, that's a, uh, pretty square beat, isn't it, George?

Look.

(metronome ticks fast)

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

- Haven't you anything better to do, O'Hara?

- Nope, you ought to try this, it's very relaxing.

(laid-back dance music)

- Is dancing?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Is interesting.

- Uh, we have work to do, Zelda.

- Later.

(audience laughs)

Is good, hamburger.

- [Tim] Want another one?

- Mm, I have already two.

What you do after your college?

- Well I, uh,

I went to work for a newspaper.

- You can tell me so much of yourself,

and I can tell you nothing of me.

- Well I happen to know all I need to know about you, Zelda.

- Oh no, is not what I mean.

I do not know what I am myself inside me.

I think I go let George hypnotize me.

- No!

- Why you say so?

- Well, I guess, to be perfectly honest about it, I,

I'm afraid that if you find your past,

there won't be any place in your present for me.

(gentle music)

- Is strange how I feel.

- Like what?

- Like I am myself, yet not.

I want to know about myself, yet not.

What do you think is the matter with me?

- I don't know.

But I, uh, I hope it's the same thing

that's the matter with me.

- You think, for me, you are like wow?

- I hope so.

(gentle music)

(door opens)

- Well, now, don't you two look cozy.

Oh, I baked some brownies for Martin.

I'll just leave 'em upstairs.

George is sulking.

He says he's going back to the institute tonight.

- I'll miss him.

- Well I won't.

It's childish for him to be upset because Zelda

won't let him work on her all the time.

There are other things in life besides psychiatry.

(audience laughs) (playful music)

(audience laughs)

Oh, how cute.

It's one of those transistor something or other.

I wonder how you turn it on.

- [Zelda] Hydrazine fuel.

Nitrogen tetroxide combustion.

Orbital certitude maneuvering systems okay.

Go, go, go!

(soft playful music)

- Tim.

- [Tim] Mm-hm?

- Did you turn this on?

- Oh, why would I do a thing like that?

- Well the tape's been played, and whoever played it

now has Zelda's memory.

(playful music)

- Hydrazine fuel.

Nitrogen tetroxide combustion.

- Maybe you'd better lie down for a while, Auntie.

- Well (laughs) whatever for?

I have to fix dinner!

We have grup-li-chas mit sweet sauce.

(audience laughs)

- Shades of Sigmund Freud.

Would you keep an eye on her, please?

I don't know what's come over auntie.

She walked in here a little while ago and said she was a

Slabodian astro-pilot?

- Where is my ship?

- We're looking for it, Auntie.

- Is that thing ours?

- I've seen split personalities before,

but this is ridiculous!

- How many orbits I make?

- More than anyone else.

- Long live Slabodia!

(audience laughs)

- I've got to get her to the institute.

Doctor Mailin, my superior,

is an authority on this kind of thing.

I'd, excuse me.

(playful music)

- Boy, is she mixed up.

- You'd be, too, if you had Zelda's memory

as well as your own.

- Yeah, but, we can't let George

take her to the institute, Uncle Martin.

- I know that, if she goes, so does Zelda's memory.

Besides, Mrs. Brown doesn't belong in an institute.

She.

- One part of her says she'll go,

and the other part says, "Whatever for?"

- Oh.

Well, I vote for whatever for.

- That's just what I would expect from you, O'Hara.

- Uh, why not have Dr. Mailin come here?

- He's past 70, I can't ask him

to do all this driving at night.

- Well then, go get him.

Then on the way back you can explain the whole situation.

- I don't think that's practical, we'll--

- She wants make phone call to Slabodian Embassy.

- Don't let her, I'll go get the doctor.

- Uh, George.

- What is it, O'Hara?

- I thought you'd like to say goodbye to Zelda.

She won't be here when you return.

- What nonsense, where would she be going?

- Yes, where?

- Home.

I made arrangements this afternoon.

- You want me to go?

- I think it's a mistake to send her away.

I can help Zelda.

- Are you familiar with the theory of confrontation, George?

- [George] I can't say I am.

- Well I made a study of it while I was visiting

a world-famous analyst in Vienna.

- Are you putting me on, O'Hara?

- There's a lot of things about him that you'll never know.

- The theory of confrontation is effective

in amnesia cases,

and I think it will work with Zelda.

- How?

- You were running away

from an unpleasant situation, my dear.

The car accident only triggered your amnesia.

Actually, you wanted to forget everything that had happened.

- Is true.

- I think that, if you go home,

face your problem and resolve it,

your memory will return.

- Zelda.

(tense music)

- You want me to go?

- No.

But how can you stay unless you know what you want?

And how can you know what you want unless you know yourself?

No, you're gonna have to go back and find yourself, Zelda.

- I'm proud of you, Tim.

- I'm not sure I agree, but it is big of you.

- Line is busy.

I call president United States.

(audience laughs)

(hypnotic music)

- [Tim] How long will they stay frozen, Uncle Martin?

- Until I defrost them.

Now take Zelda out to the car and keep the motor running.

I'll call the institute and leave word for George

that his aunt's pulled out of it.

- But she hasn't.

- She will.

Now get going, Tim, time is of the essence.

Hold it.

She'll need her spacesuit.

(playful music)

- I saw it, but I don't believe it.

(audience laughs)

(playful electronic music)

- Systems green.

Okay.

Go, go, go.

(audience laughs)

(hypnotic music)

- [Zelda] I am lucky you are such a good scientist.

- Not as good as I thought, I'm afraid.

- But you fixed my ship.

I will tell the whole world what you did.

- It would be better if you didn't.

- But why?

You are hero, and you explained it was accident.

- Well I'm not sure that will be believed.

What I did could be misunderstood.

It could be taken for an act of aggression.

- Yes.

Is sad.

People should trust more.

(gentle music)

I say nothing.

Only that I was caught in a great cosmic storm

and was helpless without instruments until the storm passed.

- I hope they believe you.

- Will it be more hard to believe than that strangers

in a strange land were so kind to me?

From up there, we see how small is this planet,

and how foolish not to be friends.

Goodbye.

And thank you.

(gentle music)

Like wow.

Pi-ra-dot-ski.

(gentle music)

- Uncle Martin,

you're turning green.

- I can't help it.

I come from a family of blushers.

(audience laughs) (engine roars)

- There she goes.

- Yeah.

Pi-ra-dot-ski.

- What does that mean, Uncle Martin?

- Farewell, until we meet in heaven.

- Oh.

Well I guess you got a much better chance of,

of seeing her up there than I have.

- You've got a pretty good chance, too, Tim.

Only, you won't need a spaceship.

(gentle music)

(gentle playful music)

- It's quite a story, Uncle Martin.

- I know you'll miss her,

but you'll get over it, Tim.

- I'll have to.

It's pretty hard to court a girl who's

up in the air all the time.

- There'll be other girls, Tim.

- I suppose so, but

it'd be pretty hard to get over Zelda.

You know, everywhere I look I see her face.

(someone knocks)

- Oh, I'll get it.

It's the cleaning woman.

(playful music)

This is Mrs. Gallup.

(audience laughs)

(playful music)

(audience laughs)

- You're beautiful!

- You're nuts.

(audience laughs)

(playful music)

(cheerful playful music)

(sonorous music)