All language subtitles for corporate.s03e04.web.h264-trump_track3_eng

- Hey, what do you say we both
jump in and not look back?

- Debby,
I have a cat at home.

- Fair enough.

You know,
before I let you go,

I wouldn't feel right
if I didn't mention

our expanded security extended
warranty one more time.

- You know what?
Let's do it.

- Great! I'll update
the agreement and email you.

- Hey, Debby, have you seen
that 2020 blue Scimitar--

- I'm with a customer.

Why don't you check the lot,
Vicky?

- Good--yeah--good--thank you.
Okay.

- I mean, if she doesn't know
where it is, why would I?

You're gonna love that Sun Gem,

and I hope you enjoyed
your experience with me.

Would you say it was
a five out of five stars?

- Um, yeah.
Yes.

- Great! I'd consider
anything less a failure,

and so would Jupiter.

You might be contacted
to participate in a survey.

It'd mean the world to me if
you gave me five out of five.

- Great.
Well, thanks for the help.

- You bet.

Don't forget,
five out of five.

- Got it.

- Good.

[cell phone ringing]

- Hello?
- Hi, Jacob.

Congratulations
on your new Jupiter Sun Gem.

We'd love you to take a brief
survey about your experience--

- [gasps]

[tires screech]

- Sorry.
Forgot to give this to you.

It's a paper copy
of the survey

in case you're an old-fashioned
kind of guy.

- Yes. Thank you, Debby.
Bye.

[sighs]

- Five out of five!

[suspenseful music]

Five out of five.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Can you believe
it's only been six months

since your last
performance review?

Wow. Where to begin?

I guess,
let's start at the top.

Your hair is disgusting.
Everybody can tell

you're using
shampoo-conditioner combo.

Moving down the skull,
you're starting to get

bags under your eyes like Jake,

and it's making harder
to tell you apart.

- On a positive note,
you are not a fraud,

but that's only because
you failed to fool anyone

into thinking
you are remotely competent.

[cell phone buzzing]
On a negative note,

you're an absolute fool.

And you're checking your phone
in the middle

of a performance review.

- Your knees
are knobby as all hell,

just two big,
horrifying knobs.

I'd turn them, but I'm afraid
what lurks behind those doors.

I'll skip
your splinty shins for now,

but we both know
your toes are weird,

and last but not least,

we know from our screen
monitoring program

you've been watching
movies at work.

And you have terrible taste.

In summation, your job
is hanging by a thread,

and you're living
in a scissors factory.

- Well, John,
some of those adjectives

will haunt me
for the rest of my life.

- Right.
- You clearly put

a lot of thought into that,
so...

good job.

[dramatic music]

- Sorry, you're telling me
that I did a good job

on your performance review?

♪ ♪

- Yeah?

- Great.

Thank you, Matt.

I did do a good job.

[both laughing]

And hey,
all that stuff about your job

hanging by a thread,
you know I'm just

trying to motivate you, right?

I mean, if the lion tamer
doesn't crack the whip,

the lions start thinking
he doesn't have a whip.

You catch my drift?
I don't know if you've ever

seen lions
turn on their master,

but there's a reason that
I stopped watching lion videos.

- That's a really effective
analogy, John.

Good job.

- Great.

- "Hi, Jacob,
it's been three days

"since you purchased
your Sun Gem,

"and Jupiter hasn't received
your survey results yet.

"As you know,
anything less than a five

is seen as failure."

- Why don't you just
fill out the survey?

It'll take ten seconds.

- Every day,
there's some new bullshit

for me to rate and review.
It's driving me insane.

- I feel guilty if I don't give
everyone positive feedback.

I give all my Lyft drivers
five stars,

even the racist ones.

- Knock, knock.
Hey, Matt,

I remember that you've got
a sharp eye for graphic design,

so I was wondering
what you think of the font

on the heading here.
Let's get you down here, buddy.

- Um, looks fine.

- [mutters]

Just fine?
Or...

- Um, I mean,
it looks great.

Good job, John.

- [exhales]
Great.

Oh. Having trouble deciding
what you're gonna watch?

- No, I wasn't--
- Easy answer.

The doc about those Thai boys

who got stuck
in that evil cave.

I rated it a must-see.

You do remember the Thai boys,
don't you, Matt?

Oh, dear Christ, you haven't
forgotten the Thai boys?

- Oh, no, yeah, I remember
reading about those guys.

Um, I just don't have
a cable login, so--

- Well, no one does, Matt.

Well,
except my wife's grandfather.

He died, but his cable
subscription lives on.

Nice little windfall
for the wife and me.

I'll give you the password.
Go ahead, write this down.

Jake, earmuffs.

The password
is "JakeEarmuffs."

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Jake, what are you doing
with your hands?

It's not winter.

- They told me I was shy
in my performance review.

You know the synonyms for shy?
I looked them up.

Meek, reticent,
sheepish, mousy.

How can I be a sheep
and a mouse?

- You aren't shy.
Someone calls you shy,

it just means they don't know
anything about you.

It's like when someone
gives you a candle as a gift.

- Yeah.

- Didn't you get me a candle
for my birthday?

- Yeah, but that's because
you're a sheepish candle mouse.

[tablet beeps]

[dramatic tone]

No. You don't get to know
how I feel about you.

- Sorry about him.

I think
you're doing a good job.

- Whoa, no, you don't.
This is on me.

- Oh, thanks, John.

- Let's do a working lunch.

- Okay.

- At this point,
I wouldn't be surprised

if Debby showed up at my house
with a gun.

- That's why I use
a fake address

when I buy
literally everything.

- Doesn't that make it hard
to get deliveries?

- Yeah.

It's ruining my life.

[dramatic tone]

- Uh-oh. I haven't said
a word in ten minutes.

No one seems to have noticed.
Of course, they haven't.

They think I'm shy,
and I'm sitting here

giving them mountains
of evidence.

If only I could find an in.

- What about you, Grace?

- Um...I--

- Oh, did I tell you guys
about the survey

I had to do about a survey?

- No.

- Here likes Grace,
who was shy.

No, no,
that's too much for me.

Mine will be
an unmarked grave.

- All right,
one more.

Go ahead
and give me your worst.

I really shit the bed on this.

- No, John,
I think you did a good job.

- [exhales]

I didn't shit the bed.

- Good job, John.

- Great.

Okay, three-pointer.

[sighs]
Damn it.

Okay, recalibrate.

Open wider.

- Ah!

- Let me get
pitcher's stance on this.

You gotta call the pitch, Matt.

Uh-uh.
I want to toss something funky.

I'm Randy Johnson,
and you're that poor bird.

[dramatic music]

- [grunts]

[telephone ringing]

[suspenseful music]

- Hello?
- Hello, Jacob,

and congratulations
on your new Jupiter Sun Gem.

We'd love to get your feedback
on your experience.

[phone beeps]
- Hi, Jacob.

It's your pal Debby Deberson,

just checking in about
that survey.

[phone beeps]
- Hello, Jacob,

and congratulations
on your new Jupiter Sun Gem.

[phone beeps]
- Hi, Jacob.

[overlapping chatter]

Guess who?
It's Debby.

Don't make me beg
for a five out of five.

[overlapping chatter]
[cell phone ringing]

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

- [distorted] Hi, Jacob.

- What are you doing
at my house?

- It's been a week.
You still haven't

filled out that survey.

I was worried
something happened to you.

But, you know, luckily I had
your address in the paperwork.

You know, I really need
that five out of five.

- You want me
to take the survey, Debby?

Fine.
I'll take the survey.

- Thank you.

- "On a scale of one to five,

how would you rate your overall
customer experience?"

Mmm...

[dramatic tone]

Four.
[dramatic sting]

"On a scale of one to five,

"how likely are you to purchase
or lease a car

from us in the future?"

I would say four.

- [gasps]
Jacob, don't do this.

- "On a scale of one to five,

how would you rate your
salesperson Debby Deberson?"

Oh, God, another tough one.

Maybe four out of five,
and submit.

- [retches]

- Whoa. Are you okay?

- Do you understand
what you've done?

- I just gave you four stars.
That's a solid B-minus.

- You just put
a target on my back,

and my front!

You have no idea what
these people are capable of!

I should give you one star
as a person, you bitch!

[cries]

- Too bad
there isn't a survey for that.

It's been two days,
and so far,

no emails, no calls,
and no texts.

After she left,
I burned all the surveys

they mailed me on my stove.

Was it a little?
Yes.

And that's why it felt so good.

- I don't know.

Four out of five
is pretty harsh.

You might as well
have given her a one.

- Hey, Jake, you seen Matt?

- I haven't.
Sorry.

- Hold on.

I'd recognize
that knobby knee anywhere.

Matt!

Look at you,
holed up down here

like a little Thai boy.

You sure have grown
since you went in the cave.

[laughs]
Come on.

You did watch the doc, right?

- Yes, John, and good job
on the recommendation.

So what do you need?

- Well, since you loved
those Thai boys so much,

what do you think
of this boy's tie?

- I really have a lot of work
to do, John.

- That can wait.

Tell me what you think.

Honest feedback.

- You know what?
I don't like it.

You look like Mr. Peanut,
even more than usual.

This time,
you did a bad job.

[dramatic music]

- Great.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

- I'm proud of you, Matt.

You just gave John
a four out of five.

[inspiring music]

- This is it,
easy win for Gracedog.

All I have to do
is tell him "goodnight."

A shy person wouldn't do that,
but I will,

'cause I'm not a shy mouse.

I'm a bull,
a big, proud bull

with a big, fat mouth
and a golden nose ring.

Here we go!

[telephone ringing]
Good...

night.
- Security.

- You think
I was too hard on John?

I did really like
that Thai boys doc.

I watched it twice.

- Mr. Engelbertson?

Phone call.

[dramatic music]

- Hello?
- Matt, I need to see you

in my office immediately.

[line clicks]
[dial tone]

[cell phone buzzes]

- Are you fucking kidding me?

- I'll talk to you tomorrow.
John wants to see me.

- Hi, Jacob.
- I already took

the damn survey.

- Oh, we received your survey.

Your feedback
was very helpful.

I'm calling to let you know

that we've dealt
with the situation.

- Oh.
What does that mean?

- Customer satisfaction

is our number one priority.

That's why
you can rest assured

that Debby Deberson

will never sell
another Sun Gem...

ever again.

- Wow. All right.

Nice to know the system works,
I guess.

- Thank you for your time.

[dial tone]

- Hey, John,
about earlier,

I was too hard
on your bowtie.

- No, Matt.

You were right.

I got cocky,

and tried
to pull off a bold new look.

And I made an ass of myself.

I was a very bad, bad,
stupid boy.

[dramatic tone]

And you helped me see that.

So I made a big change

that's gonna help
the both of us.

This is your new desk.

You're a harsh mistress, Matt.

Well, technically a Matt-tress.

A firm mattress.

And I need you
to straighten me out

because I don't trust
my chiropractor,

that fucking crook.

[joints crackling]

[exhales]

- John,
I'm at a loss for words.

- Great.

We're staying late tonight.

We're gonna be holed up here
like those Thai boys,

except this time,

there will be no meddling
Navy SEAL here to rescue us.

Take a seat.

- Debby,
what did you do to Jacob?

- Nothing!
- He gave you a four.

- Four out of five
is a solid B-minus.

- It might as well
have been a one,

and you know that.

- Please!
Give me another chance!

[shotgun clicks]
- This is for Jacob.

- No!
[shotgun blast]

- Debby's not dead.
Just being paranoid.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[loud crash]

- Jacob Levinson?

Agent Roman, FBI.

Did you purchase
a Sun Gem from that woman?

[dramatic sting]

[camera clicks]

[dramatic music]

- Aren't there usually
just two agents?

- That's actually
a very hurtful stereotype.

- You may not realize it,

but what you just said
is racist.

- Whatever this is,
it must be pretty serious

for five FBI agents to show up.

- I'm sorry I'm late.

- Jacob, you purchased your car
from Debby Deberson.

Is that correct?
- Yes.

- And overall,
how would you rate

your car-buying experience?

- Okay,
what the hell is going on?

Do you guys work for Jupiter?

- Jacob,
Debby Deberson is missing.

[eerie music]

- When did you last see her?

- A few days ago.
She came to my house.

- So she was here.

- Yeah, she kept harassing me

to take some stupid survey,

I gave her four out of five,
and then she left.

- Jesus Christ, you must've
really hated this lady.

- What did she do to you?

- Four out of five
is a solid B-minus.

- It's our understanding
that anything less than a five

might as well be a one.

- You guys don't think
she's dead, do you?

- On the record,
we don't know.

Off the record...

[recorder clicks]
[eerie music stops]

- We still really aren't sure.

[dramatic music]

- So now I'm worried

that Jupiter killed her
or something.

That's crazy, right?
I mean,

there's plenty of reasons
the FBI could be involved.

I mean,
maybe she's secretly

a criminal mastermind
or something.

- Say something, Grace.

Contribute
to the conversation.

- What do you guys think?

- I think she's dead.

And it's because of you.

I broke the seal!
Now keep those lips flapping.

A four out of five
is a death sentence.

There's dead Debby blood

all over your hideous,
hairy hands.

You're killing it, Grace!

Bonus points for alliteration.

- I don't know about that.
- Yeah, I'm sure

there's a perfectly
reasonable explanation.

- Tell that to Debby.

Oh, wait.
You can't.

Because she's dead.

Jupiter did
what they had to do.

Jake just gave them the push.

You were born to shine.

[triumphant music]

- So anybody watch
that Thai boys doc?

- Hey, Kate?

John thinks
I'm in the bathroom,

so I don't have much time.

You know him pretty well,
right?

- Well, we've worked
side by side for 19 years,

so...no.

I've done
everything in my power

to avoid getting to know John.

Do you think I haven't noticed
what's been going on?

[laughs]
This is the freest

I have felt in years!

John is finally
leaving me alone.

He's got you now.

Today,
I read an article at lunch,

a full article.
[laughs]

- How do I make it stop?

- Oh, that's easy.

Just go back in time,
steal him from his crib,

undo all the repressed trauma
from his childhood.

Or...

you can poison him.

But I'd suggest doing that

over the course of a few years.

That's what the article
I read says.

- They got it
to their sharpshooter.

Top of the key.

Pump fake, pump fake.
Got him up.

Oh. Oh!

Nothing but net.

You see that, Matt?

- No, I didn't.

- Well, pay attention.

- Thought you wanted
my eyes on these.

- That's why God blessed you
with two eyes, Matt.

Right?

Look.

Through the zone.
Get off me!

Iso, iso.
Crowd roars.

Johnny Stockton!

[grunts]

Little help, Matt?

[groans]

Come on.

[exhales]
Come on, John.

There we go.

Yep.
Come on.

Top of the key.
Olympics.

It's the Olympics now.

- Just go back in time,

and undo all the repressed
trauma from his childhood.

- They got him.
This is for your country.

And for myself.

Oh! Oh!

Did you see that one, Matt?

- I did, John.

You did a good job
making that basket.

You're a good boy.

And a great boss.

And you know what else, John?

I love you.

- I'm sorry.

What was that?

- I love you, buddy.

And I'm so proud of you.

[dramatic music]

- God damn it, Matt.

There's a line,
and as usual,

you use those long,
repulsive legs

to leap right over it.

I'm your boss,
for Christ sake!

I'll say
who loves who around here!

And the only thing that I love

is professionalism
in the workplace!

So get the fuck out!

And you can forget about
re-watching that Thai boys doc!

Because I'm changing
the password to Boundaries123!

Oh, damn it.
Now he knows the new one.

- You’d be surprised
\h\hby how many cars

crash into mailboxes,

\h\h\hright up there with fire
hydrants and outdoor weddings.

Fortunately, you’re covered
\h\h\hfor all the damages.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYou were smart
to get that extended warranty.

- I wasn’t going to,

\h\hbut then Debby
talked me into it.

[eerie music]

You know Debby, right?

♪ ♪

- Yes, I knew Debby.

\h\h\h\h- Do you know
what happened to her?

- The company really doesn’t
\h\hwant us to talk about it.

\h\h- Why not?
What happened?

- I’m sorry, Jacob.
I really can’t say.

\h\h\hBut have I answered
all your questions today?

- No, you clearly haven’t.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Well,
that’s very unfortunate

because customer satisfaction
\his our number one priority,

\h\hand the thing is,
you’re gonna receive

a survey about your--
\h- This is for Jacob.

\h\h- No!
[gunshots]

- And anything less
\hthan a five is--

- Five out of five!

You get a five out of five.

Five out of five!

I’m completely satisfied
\h\h\hwith my experience,

and I want everyone to know!

Five out of five.
Five out of five.

Five out of five.
Five out of five.

Five out of five!

[dramatic music]

- Debby Deberson.
\h\h\h\h\h\hWow!

\h\hIt was not easy
tracking you down.

It’s quite a game
you were running,

\h\h\h\h\h\h\hmasquerading
as the five-star employee,

the person on the inside

\h\h\hfunneling cars
to a ring of thieves.

\h\h\h\h\h\h- At last, we’ve caught
the queen of car lot larceny.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWant to know
how we finally did it?

\h\h\h\h\h\h- It was Jacob’s
four-star review, wasn’t it?

- No.

Actually, it was...

just one star.

\h\h\hThis was a blue
2020 Jupiter Scimitar

that we recovered from a boat
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hheaded to Venezuela.

And from there, we just put
\h\h\hall the pieces together.

- Hey, Agent Roman?

- Yeah?

- Good job.

- Oh.

[laughs]

[gunshots]

- Five out of five.

- Sorry I’m late.
\h\h\h\h[gunshot]

[groans]

- Make that six out of five.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[dramatic distorted music]

♪ ♪