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Previously on "You Me Her"...
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I came back for you.
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- Our life is still here.
- Can I stay?
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I'm not ready to say good-bye.
5
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It's very obvious that we
still care about each other.
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What happens at the Angelina
stays at the Angelina.
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No one would ever understand.
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You fucking did what?
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- Why?
- You know? It's like,
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everything we'd gone through had
been leading to that exact moment.
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- Something has changed.
- Oh, really?
12
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,618
- What?
- I don't know.
13
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Is this job at the border
even real or is it a threat?
14
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- Like, tick-tock, time's up.
- Of course it's real.
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Tell Dave my buyers are definitely
16
00:00:31,192 --> 00:00:33,258
making an offer on a house today.
17
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This one or another.
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Now nobody's crying, not even me.
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I guess we're happy.
20
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Holy shit.
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- What?
- Look.
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[LIGHT, PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
23
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♪ ♪
24
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The girls are down.
25
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Nina, what are you doing?
26
00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:56,692
- Oh, this?
- Yeah, that.
27
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Uh, I'm putting your house for sale.
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See? What, do I need a bigger sign?
29
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We are not selling our house, right?
30
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Honey, if we ever
decide to sell our house,
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I promise to consult you first.
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Okay, listen,
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we're gonna need you to
literally get off our lawn, okay?
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And take your stupid mallet with you.
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Do you actually own a mallet,
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or did you just buy
this for the occasion?
37
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Hmm, nah, it was in the
garage where I found the sign,
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but in plain view like Will
wanted me to have it, so...
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Nina, seriously, why are you doing this?
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Oh, this exquisite little
piece of performance art?
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I'm doing it because you jerks
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rekindled the flame last night, huh?
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- Huh?
- Okay. You know, can you put that down?
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- No one needs to get hammered.
- To, like, at least to waist level.
45
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Fine, for now. Talk.
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Okay.
47
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Fine.
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We saw Izzy, which frankly,
is none of your business.
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[SCOFFS]
50
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Babe, we really need to
recalibrate our ocular communication
51
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Izzy is a grown-ass woman.
She chose to come to the hotel,
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and how is that Nina's business? How?
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- Oh, my God.
- It's not. That's how. It's not of her business.
54
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- Now you're doubling down?
- Yeah.
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It's not her... it's not her business.
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Jeez, I would have preferred
just smiling and nodding
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until we got to the
other side of that door,
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away from that fucking mallet.
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- Well, I know.
- I hope this little lawn party
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isn't unsanctioned. I'll
have to narc you out to Lala.
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[CHUCKLES]
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Um, okay, well, look at that. You...
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you guys are moving? What happened?
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00:02:17,106 --> 00:02:18,781
No, we're not moving
and nothing happened.
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Ben, Mr. Izzy's Dad, look.
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The last thing I wanna do
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00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:24,020
is reveal secrets of
your daughter's sex life,
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00:02:24,536 --> 00:02:26,771
so let's just say that
she had some with them.
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- No, no, no.
- No, no,
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- Absolutely did not.
- we did not have... No sex.
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I understand why you would think
that, but it was more just...
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BOTH: Snuggling.
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It was nice, but weird.
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The cuddle puddle.
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She came to your hotel?
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- Yes, that's... yes, she did.
- Yeah, that... that... that happened.
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- Uh-huh.
- Okay. So... uh, so... so, what does that mean?
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You guys are getting back together?
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Wait, how does that work?
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She's heading back to
Otay Mesa on Monday, right?
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00:02:48,073 --> 00:02:50,450
Well, apparently, now
she's taking a minute.
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- Wait, what?
- Did she say that to you?
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Tell us exactly what she said.
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So, you three pretty much get together
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and your brains just kind of melt
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and drain out of your
various passageways, huh?
87
00:03:02,108 --> 00:03:03,716
That's not entirely inaccurate.
88
00:03:03,742 --> 00:03:05,990
Wait, seriously, she said
she was taking a minute?
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Oh, my God, I can't with you people.
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Wha... what happened, exactly?
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00:03:10,181 --> 00:03:12,026
Ooh, I don't know, man,
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you know, with you
being her dad and all.
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- Look, suffice it to say no sex was had, okay?
- No!
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Okay, no more sufficing. The...
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the days of you dragging my girl
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across broken glass
and dog shit are done.
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00:03:22,227 --> 00:03:24,851
Oh, hey, look. Uh, look, this is just
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00:03:24,862 --> 00:03:27,810
the old for sale sign in the lawn prank.
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We're gonna go in now and
have our Sunday coffee cake.
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- Delicious.
- Just... can we? Can we?
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- Yeah, can we take this inside?
- Nothing to gawk at.
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Hey, look. Sorry.
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This is not gonna be
for the faint of heart,
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so let me handle it.
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00:03:45,216 --> 00:03:46,717
You know what? I don't wanna know.
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I don't understand.
Some douchebag couple
107
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is looking at the house.
You said it was an emergency.
108
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Jeez, I figured the
place was burning down.
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Uh, let's take a moment.
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You seriously think if this
house was burning, I'd text you?
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Like you're the only one
that can save Crapboard Manor?
112
00:04:01,566 --> 00:04:04,075
- Okay.
- Is this what happens to guys like you
113
00:04:04,102 --> 00:04:06,327
when you take a big swing
and finally make contact?
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- I don't know...
- Babe.
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- Yeah?
- Babe.
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- What?
- Babe.
117
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,198
- What?
- You like it?
118
00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:12,475
- It's okay.
- You wanna buy it?
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- Yeah, whatever.
- Excuse me.
120
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,244
- Babe.
- Yeah, what?
121
00:04:15,251 --> 00:04:16,630
I think that guy's
trying to talk to you.
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00:04:16,669 --> 00:04:18,570
- 'Sup?
- It's lovely to see you again.
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00:04:18,605 --> 00:04:21,372
Curious, is that your
tricked out SUV out front?
124
00:04:21,398 --> 00:04:23,844
Oh, yeah, bunch of horses,
0-to-60 in half a seccy.
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- Spanish gray.
- Super gorge.
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00:04:25,471 --> 00:04:27,439
- Spanish gray is so two years ago.
- Oh.
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00:04:27,748 --> 00:04:28,748
Yeah.
128
00:04:28,774 --> 00:04:31,126
It's 2018 calling. They
want their SUV back.
129
00:04:31,231 --> 00:04:33,197
What'd he say? He said that?
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00:04:33,297 --> 00:04:34,847
- [LAUGHS]
- It's a joke.
131
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Killing at jokes, babe.
132
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Wow.
133
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- No, no, no. There's no way.
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
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00:04:40,315 --> 00:04:42,571
Crapboard House would
spit them back out.
135
00:04:42,593 --> 00:04:45,089
Oh, if I recall correctly,
they plan to "fix that."
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00:04:45,138 --> 00:04:46,895
Okay, okay, easy now.
137
00:04:46,950 --> 00:04:48,353
- Breathing is good.
- Yeah.
138
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So no fire or flood,
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00:04:50,014 --> 00:04:52,541
just all your hopes and dreams
140
00:04:52,579 --> 00:04:55,816
slipping through your ineffectual
little fingers yet again.
141
00:04:56,126 --> 00:04:59,068
The bell of opportunity
left sadly still,
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silent, un-rung.
143
00:05:02,467 --> 00:05:04,926
[SNORTS] So stupid.
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00:05:04,961 --> 00:05:07,167
You should feel free to wander off.
145
00:05:07,227 --> 00:05:09,152
You can feel free to blow me.
146
00:05:12,143 --> 00:05:14,275
Okay, for the record,
we seriously didn't know
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that Izzy was just taking a break.
148
00:05:15,972 --> 00:05:18,603
- Huh, yeah, right.
- Wha... no, it... it's true. We just...
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00:05:18,722 --> 00:05:21,095
you know, we agreed not
to make any snap decisions.
150
00:05:21,101 --> 00:05:23,537
We were taking a beat,
washing it around.
151
00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:25,044
- Right.
- Take a beat. Take a minute.
152
00:05:25,057 --> 00:05:27,668
I'm sorry, I'm really failing
to see the difference here.
153
00:05:27,707 --> 00:05:29,335
I'm not gonna sit
back and watch you guys
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destroy her again.
155
00:05:30,654 --> 00:05:32,799
Well, we are not selling our house.
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Yeah, this is our home.
157
00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:35,950
- Yeah.
- Our life.
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00:05:36,224 --> 00:05:37,952
Then it's time.
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[TENSE MUSIC]
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00:05:41,431 --> 00:05:43,155
♪ ♪
161
00:05:43,332 --> 00:05:46,079
Right now, that objectively
horrible couple is out there
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getting preapproved for their loan,
163
00:05:47,950 --> 00:05:50,635
and we have roughly eight minutes
164
00:05:50,657 --> 00:05:52,567
before they come in and make the offer.
165
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,165
Once that happens, I'll have no choice
166
00:05:54,177 --> 00:05:55,376
but to present it to the owners,
167
00:05:55,411 --> 00:05:56,841
and they will accept it.
168
00:05:56,919 --> 00:05:58,659
Dave, Dave, come on now.
169
00:05:58,672 --> 00:06:01,418
- Don't let this manipulative sass-bag...
- "Sass-bag"?
170
00:06:01,515 --> 00:06:03,459
Is that how it's gonna
be when we're neighbors?
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00:06:03,685 --> 00:06:05,979
- It is, yeah.
- Cool.
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00:06:06,892 --> 00:06:12,299
No, there is no way that
those outlet mall mannequins
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00:06:12,315 --> 00:06:14,861
will live in my house
as God as my witness.
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00:06:14,897 --> 00:06:17,092
Mm, okay, let's just not, all right?
175
00:06:17,113 --> 00:06:18,936
But it's not your house, is it, Dave?
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00:06:18,995 --> 00:06:21,600
And you only have seven more minutes
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00:06:21,633 --> 00:06:23,134
of playing make-believe
till they come in
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00:06:23,151 --> 00:06:25,283
and install one of
those gauche little pools
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00:06:25,308 --> 00:06:27,941
that throw waves in your face
for reasons I'll never understand.
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00:06:28,028 --> 00:06:29,674
They also want to expand the garage
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00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:32,837
for his collection of
off-road vehicles and Jet Skis.
182
00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:35,400
I already drew up your offer.
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00:06:35,982 --> 00:06:37,109
Shall we?
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00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,220
Okay, I know you don't
really wanna hear this, Nina,
185
00:06:41,242 --> 00:06:42,827
but this is really
none of your business.
186
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,602
Okay, once again, for
the hard of hearing,
187
00:06:44,628 --> 00:06:46,726
it is absolutely my fucking business.
188
00:06:46,761 --> 00:06:48,583
When the EJI universe
goes thermonuclear again,
189
00:06:48,614 --> 00:06:50,294
which inevitably will,
190
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:51,660
I'm gonna be the one sifting through
191
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,980
the ionized radiation for
the subatomic particles
192
00:06:54,002 --> 00:06:56,390
of what was once young Isabelle Silva.
193
00:06:57,982 --> 00:07:00,506
Yes, okay, I dated a nuclear physicist.
194
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:04,100
He was more like a client,
but still, I learned a little.
195
00:07:07,515 --> 00:07:09,147
We can't keep hurting her.
196
00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:11,401
Then you need to end it.
197
00:07:11,445 --> 00:07:13,194
For starters, you're
not going to the wedding.
198
00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:16,209
And here's the tough part.
199
00:07:16,588 --> 00:07:17,889
You need to hit her hard.
200
00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:19,347
We don't have to hit her hard.
201
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,510
We don't have to be mean about it.
202
00:07:21,976 --> 00:07:23,511
Remember when Shrek tells Donkey
203
00:07:23,516 --> 00:07:26,072
that he's useless, annoying,
and pathetic to get him to leave?
204
00:07:26,578 --> 00:07:29,798
It's gotta be like that, but way worse.
205
00:07:29,836 --> 00:07:32,398
[SOMBER MUSIC]
206
00:07:32,806 --> 00:07:34,552
♪ ♪
207
00:07:34,612 --> 00:07:36,451
Honestly, we're super tight on time.
208
00:07:36,462 --> 00:07:38,763
If you wanna skip the dramatic tension
209
00:07:38,779 --> 00:07:40,874
or at least, like,
condense it, like, a quick,
210
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,869
"This is hard," and then...
211
00:07:43,947 --> 00:07:45,317
so...
212
00:07:45,905 --> 00:07:47,270
What did Carm say?
213
00:07:47,364 --> 00:07:50,155
Most recently? Uh, "Love you, bye."
214
00:07:50,584 --> 00:07:52,328
Like, specific to the house.
215
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:55,326
Okay, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm a little,
216
00:07:55,661 --> 00:07:58,785
uh... frazzled. She
said I should go for it.
217
00:08:00,991 --> 00:08:03,201
I did mention they hate
the clapboards, right?
218
00:08:03,579 --> 00:08:05,369
Referred to it as "janky."
219
00:08:08,742 --> 00:08:10,154
It's complicated, right?
220
00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:11,956
Exciting and scary.
221
00:08:12,178 --> 00:08:14,214
I'm so happy I could be here for you.
222
00:08:23,189 --> 00:08:25,015
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
223
00:08:25,019 --> 00:08:27,962
Who's finally going on that
"Designing Women" reunion cruise?
224
00:08:28,027 --> 00:08:29,185
- [EXHALES]
- This guy.
225
00:08:29,202 --> 00:08:33,038
Thank you and you and everybody
else who believed in me.
226
00:08:33,065 --> 00:08:34,304
Ha.
227
00:08:35,501 --> 00:08:38,247
Ah, where you going?
Get away from the window.
228
00:08:39,303 --> 00:08:40,863
What are you doing?
229
00:08:40,873 --> 00:08:42,810
- Nothing.
- [MESSAGE WHOOSHES]
230
00:08:42,942 --> 00:08:44,366
[CELL PHONE CLICKING]
231
00:08:44,415 --> 00:08:45,809
Yeah, you better leave.
232
00:08:45,845 --> 00:08:47,179
[CHUCKLES]
233
00:08:47,246 --> 00:08:49,428
- [ENGINE TURNS OVER]
- They're leaving.
234
00:08:49,787 --> 00:08:53,061
Right after Dame Judi
Dench here sent a text.
235
00:08:53,252 --> 00:08:55,367
[CELL PHONE CLICKING]
236
00:08:55,754 --> 00:08:58,282
[CURIOUS MUSIC]
237
00:08:58,374 --> 00:08:59,386
♪ ♪
238
00:08:59,598 --> 00:09:02,083
- Oh, my God.
- What?
239
00:09:02,361 --> 00:09:05,496
They did just seem so
perfectly douchey, didn't they?
240
00:09:05,757 --> 00:09:08,498
[CELL PHONE CLICKING]
241
00:09:08,932 --> 00:09:10,113
Will.
242
00:09:10,189 --> 00:09:12,712
Uh, just a sec. Just mass
texting a big "fuck you"
243
00:09:12,739 --> 00:09:14,921
to all my treasured real
estate brothers and sisters.
244
00:09:14,942 --> 00:09:16,273
[MESSAGE WHOOSHES]
245
00:09:16,411 --> 00:09:17,705
Okay, so, what now?
246
00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:20,419
Are those people real, the other buyers?
247
00:09:21,313 --> 00:09:24,074
They are actual human beings, yes.
248
00:09:24,091 --> 00:09:25,614
Will, look at me.
249
00:09:26,919 --> 00:09:29,089
Not over my shoulder, look at me.
250
00:09:29,254 --> 00:09:30,628
[CLEARS THROAT]
251
00:09:31,555 --> 00:09:34,674
Were the Duke and Duchess of Doucheville
252
00:09:34,696 --> 00:09:36,568
actually interested in buying this house
253
00:09:36,590 --> 00:09:39,162
or was this all a
choreographed song and dance?
254
00:09:39,391 --> 00:09:41,097
[WHEEZY LAUGH]
255
00:09:41,132 --> 00:09:44,508
Yeah, yes. It was me. I did that.
256
00:09:44,981 --> 00:09:46,651
[SCOFFS]
257
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,203
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
258
00:09:52,777 --> 00:09:56,419
♪ ♪
259
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,217
Oh, okay.
260
00:10:05,221 --> 00:10:07,597
So, I see you went to
the same college, though.
261
00:10:07,728 --> 00:10:10,456
- Don't they dissuade people from doing that?
- Hmm.
262
00:10:10,456 --> 00:10:13,389
So this is your new
demo, day-drinking models?
263
00:10:13,807 --> 00:10:16,730
Jesus, what's for lunch,
cocaine and cigarettes?
264
00:10:18,453 --> 00:10:20,612
Oh, that's not good.
265
00:10:20,734 --> 00:10:21,947
And you are?
266
00:10:21,986 --> 00:10:24,880
Oh, I'm his partner.
Yeah, bar's named after me.
267
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,608
Yeah, but then she quit, so...
268
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,492
Couldn't get past your
first name without a typo?
269
00:10:28,518 --> 00:10:29,749
"Brithan-eye"?
270
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,532
Actually, it's pronounced "Brittany."
271
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,499
- Oh.
- Ooh, but why?
272
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,104
Well, it was Brittany with a Y,
273
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,452
but then I got my
master's, changed it to I.
274
00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:39,277
You know, heeded the
call, "empowerment."
275
00:10:39,299 --> 00:10:40,878
- [LAUGHS]
- Did any of that make any...
276
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,453
I added the H after I got my P h D.
277
00:10:43,466 --> 00:10:44,929
Oh, there's more.
278
00:10:44,964 --> 00:10:46,143
Between us shrinks,
279
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,341
I'm just trying to escape
from being a basic-ass-Brittany
280
00:10:48,371 --> 00:10:49,995
from Idaho Falls, you know?
281
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,152
- Idaho Falls.
- Okay.
282
00:10:52,178 --> 00:10:54,297
So, this is your
replacement therapist, hmm?
283
00:10:54,428 --> 00:10:56,360
Oh, no, they're all therapists, yeah.
284
00:10:56,395 --> 00:10:59,323
Uh, Ivy League, most of
them, strangely enough.
285
00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:01,208
Shut the fuck up.
286
00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:05,311
- So, are we done here or...
- Oh, no, the name thing is disqualifying.
287
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,961
Sorry, I thought I made that clear.
288
00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:09,741
- So, bye, Brith-ani.
- No, don't listen to her.
289
00:11:09,754 --> 00:11:12,034
Brithani, she has no
sway in this matter.
290
00:11:12,469 --> 00:11:16,338
Yeah, but she scares me... a lot.
291
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:18,287
I'm just gonna go. Thank you.
292
00:11:18,494 --> 00:11:20,028
[CHUCKLES]
293
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,002
- Thank you for that.
- Well, she's an idiot.
294
00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:23,177
She's a PhD.
295
00:11:23,195 --> 00:11:24,647
So, she's an educated idiot.
296
00:11:24,678 --> 00:11:26,122
And look, I don't believe for one second
297
00:11:26,135 --> 00:11:27,589
that all of these gorgeous airheads...
298
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:29,612
Please raise your hands if you're a PhD.
299
00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:31,996
Oh, what do we got here?
300
00:11:32,014 --> 00:11:34,237
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven...
301
00:11:34,246 --> 00:11:36,455
- Okay, look, they can all easily be lying...
- What, lying?
302
00:11:36,481 --> 00:11:40,036
- No, vetted, PhDs, every one.
- Oh! Excuse me.
303
00:11:40,348 --> 00:11:41,715
Oh.
304
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,061
What? Just talk.
305
00:11:44,797 --> 00:11:47,268
I'm actually an MD,
a psychiatrist, so...
306
00:11:47,376 --> 00:11:48,687
I said shut up.
307
00:11:48,723 --> 00:11:51,461
- Um, you said, "Just talk," so...
- I changed my mind.
308
00:11:53,461 --> 00:11:56,395
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
309
00:11:56,431 --> 00:12:00,819
♪ ♪
310
00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:03,443
Her issues got issues.
Am I right, Doctors?
311
00:12:03,444 --> 00:12:04,639
[LAUGHTER]
312
00:12:04,661 --> 00:12:08,390
- I can hear you.
- Uh, that's fine. Whatever.
313
00:12:08,575 --> 00:12:10,876
♪ If you run the race ♪
314
00:12:11,584 --> 00:12:14,832
♪ Can you feel it? ♪
315
00:12:15,712 --> 00:12:19,104
♪ That something's gonna change now ♪
316
00:12:19,563 --> 00:12:23,401
♪ You can make it ♪
317
00:12:24,057 --> 00:12:25,361
Honey?
318
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,591
Hi, it's me, your husband.
319
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:31,062
Uh, we did it. The
Crapboard House is ours!
320
00:12:31,392 --> 00:12:33,334
[LAUGHS] Yeah, I know!
321
00:12:33,346 --> 00:12:34,999
The Crapboard House is ours.
322
00:12:35,024 --> 00:12:37,924
The Crapboard House is...
[THUDS] Ow! Okay, ow.
323
00:12:38,285 --> 00:12:41,305
Uh, yeah, no, I know.
I know, it's amazing.
324
00:12:41,341 --> 00:12:43,468
Um... oh, Soph's been great.
325
00:12:43,474 --> 00:12:45,602
She's been doing the lion's
share of the housework.
326
00:12:45,612 --> 00:12:46,934
She lets me sleep in.
327
00:12:46,970 --> 00:12:49,086
She's laughing at all my jokes.
328
00:12:49,156 --> 00:12:51,166
She's ceded total control of the remote,
329
00:12:51,183 --> 00:12:53,403
and actually, she's been
saying that you should do
330
00:12:53,418 --> 00:12:55,243
all those same things
when you get back here.
331
00:12:56,321 --> 00:12:58,565
No, obviously, she didn't
say any of that stuff.
332
00:12:58,595 --> 00:13:00,158
Hey, honey. Hi, honey.
333
00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:01,666
Hi, I miss you.
334
00:13:01,711 --> 00:13:03,450
I want you to come home,
okay, to our new home.
335
00:13:03,485 --> 00:13:05,139
I love you so much. I love you
336
00:13:05,174 --> 00:13:07,097
as much as our new home at the least.
337
00:13:07,132 --> 00:13:08,431
Yeah, absolutely.
338
00:13:08,467 --> 00:13:10,642
Oh, and I came up with a brilliant way
339
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,498
to tell Jack and Emma about all this
340
00:13:12,505 --> 00:13:14,304
and have them not get upset.
341
00:13:14,729 --> 00:13:16,740
Oh... ye...
342
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:21,244
Yeah, okay, you want me
to go for it. That's...
343
00:13:21,364 --> 00:13:22,732
yeah, great. Cool.
344
00:13:22,757 --> 00:13:24,044
Thank you for the
encouragement, sweetheart.
345
00:13:24,049 --> 00:13:26,603
Now, I should prob... get... becau...
346
00:13:27,583 --> 00:13:30,985
Laun... dry... babies.
347
00:13:31,116 --> 00:13:32,463
Bye, honey.
348
00:13:32,991 --> 00:13:35,333
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
349
00:13:35,478 --> 00:13:36,856
♪ ♪
350
00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:39,256
I mean, I'm not particularly
proud of myself right now.
351
00:13:39,257 --> 00:13:40,836
It seems like the best time to reveal
352
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:43,415
that your Portland
children's author paparazzi
353
00:13:43,445 --> 00:13:45,367
are me and Marty's best couple friends,
354
00:13:45,403 --> 00:13:47,190
the buyers for your house.
355
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:48,988
Excuse me, what?
356
00:13:49,009 --> 00:13:50,840
How is this the best time?
357
00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:53,497
Uh, 'cause I'm leaving now.
358
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:55,884
♪ ♪
359
00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:57,357
Diabolical.
360
00:13:57,538 --> 00:13:59,000
My future best friend.
361
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,714
- That specimen?
- Oh, yeah, for sure.
362
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:03,232
[BRIGHT MUSIC]
363
00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:05,423
♪ Ooh ♪
364
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:07,002
♪ Ooh ♪
365
00:14:07,087 --> 00:14:11,359
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
366
00:14:12,763 --> 00:14:14,711
- So...
- So...
367
00:14:16,214 --> 00:14:18,499
In spite of our efforts, we fucked up.
368
00:14:18,627 --> 00:14:21,633
Well, we can't seem to help
ourselves when it comes to Izzy.
369
00:14:24,543 --> 00:14:26,207
I just... I kind of feel like
370
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,872
the world's swirling
around us, you know.
371
00:14:27,888 --> 00:14:29,561
Like it's this huge fucking hurricane,
372
00:14:29,579 --> 00:14:31,697
and when it settles,
nothing's gonna be the same.
373
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,486
Should it stay the same?
374
00:14:33,719 --> 00:14:37,049
I mean, the world, our lives, us.
375
00:14:38,798 --> 00:14:40,321
What if this is about us?
376
00:14:40,356 --> 00:14:42,180
It's not about Izzy,
and we just invited her
377
00:14:42,192 --> 00:14:43,479
into this burning house?
378
00:14:44,959 --> 00:14:46,406
Okay, are we gonna do this?
379
00:14:46,963 --> 00:14:50,275
Because if so, it's gonna
break EJI into so many pieces,
380
00:14:50,295 --> 00:14:52,277
we're not gonna be able to
put it back together again.
381
00:14:53,363 --> 00:14:54,505
I know.
382
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:58,490
I love you.
383
00:14:59,308 --> 00:15:00,480
I love you too.
384
00:15:04,038 --> 00:15:05,461
We can be enough.
385
00:15:05,815 --> 00:15:07,130
- Yeah.
- I know it.
386
00:15:07,158 --> 00:15:08,158
Yeah.
387
00:15:08,907 --> 00:15:10,230
This is the right thing.
388
00:15:10,805 --> 00:15:12,828
- It really is.
- You ready?
389
00:15:12,989 --> 00:15:14,404
- No.
- Okay.
390
00:15:14,423 --> 00:15:15,759
- Yes.
- We're doing it anyway.
391
00:15:16,158 --> 00:15:19,026
[MOODY MUSIC]
392
00:15:19,059 --> 00:15:21,335
♪ Yeah ♪
393
00:15:22,204 --> 00:15:23,229
Hey.
394
00:15:23,232 --> 00:15:24,926
♪ Looking into daydreams ♪
395
00:15:24,934 --> 00:15:26,615
♪ But I can't find you ♪
396
00:15:26,669 --> 00:15:28,086
♪ Giving up my days ♪
397
00:15:28,104 --> 00:15:31,110
♪ For your indecisive news ♪
398
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,139
♪ ♪
399
00:15:33,174 --> 00:15:34,540
Hey, you got a sec?
400
00:15:34,561 --> 00:15:36,981
Mm, talk fast. I'm "vorking."
401
00:15:37,112 --> 00:15:38,119
At a bar?
402
00:15:38,155 --> 00:15:41,481
Well, I'm at the bar, but I
don't actually work here anymore.
403
00:15:42,044 --> 00:15:43,225
Weird.
404
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,286
I'm planning "Mala's" woodsy wedding.
405
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,975
Get it? "Mala," it's like Lala,
406
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,810
but she's your mom now, so "Mala."
407
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:53,225
No, she's not, and I wouldn't
call her that at gunpoint.
408
00:15:53,261 --> 00:15:54,625
Oh, give it time.
409
00:15:54,671 --> 00:15:58,099
Uh, so, how can I make sense
of your existence this time?
410
00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:00,668
I'm outside of a bar.
411
00:16:01,070 --> 00:16:03,302
Okay, that's easy. Go
inside, commence drinking.
412
00:16:03,604 --> 00:16:06,418
Jack and Emma are there... inside.
413
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:09,193
- Oh.
- "Oh"?
414
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,243
Why "oh"?
415
00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:12,898
Uh, sorry, I meant, um, so?
416
00:16:13,113 --> 00:16:14,576
So...
417
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:17,803
I think they're gonna
propose getting back together.
418
00:16:19,331 --> 00:16:22,919
Uh, well, what... what about, um...
419
00:16:22,954 --> 00:16:24,005
Leo?
420
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,061
Exactly, well, all the kids
421
00:16:26,091 --> 00:16:27,745
including the ones I haven't met yet.
422
00:16:27,916 --> 00:16:29,666
I'm going back. I have to.
423
00:16:31,385 --> 00:16:32,872
I want to.
424
00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:36,835
Okay, great. So, why not open with that?
425
00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:40,653
I wanna make it work with them.
426
00:16:40,697 --> 00:16:42,599
But it doesn't, Iz. Do you hear me?
427
00:16:42,615 --> 00:16:46,073
On so many levels, it
just does not work, okay?
428
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,414
Just... look, after my wedding,
429
00:16:48,415 --> 00:16:50,393
- you're just gonna get that tight little ass...
- [DISCONNECTING BEEP]
430
00:17:00,662 --> 00:17:02,305
Iz? Hello?
431
00:17:04,215 --> 00:17:05,934
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
432
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,628
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
433
00:17:09,607 --> 00:17:11,135
Who the hell do I think I am?
434
00:17:11,170 --> 00:17:12,975
The voice of reason, me?
435
00:17:13,578 --> 00:17:15,906
Do you wanna know why I
really hated being a therapist?
436
00:17:15,942 --> 00:17:17,446
Because I couldn't stop thinking how...
437
00:17:17,456 --> 00:17:19,913
how criminally idiotic it is for me
438
00:17:19,928 --> 00:17:22,778
to be advising anybody on anything ever.
439
00:17:23,074 --> 00:17:25,019
♪ Oh, oh ♪
440
00:17:25,054 --> 00:17:27,014
When do you think you'll be able to
441
00:17:27,391 --> 00:17:29,658
walk around without that crutch, huh?
442
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:34,102
- What?
- This whole, "I'm hot mess Nina" thing,
443
00:17:34,128 --> 00:17:36,455
like it's your Get
out of Jail Free card.
444
00:17:38,029 --> 00:17:40,466
No, because you're really not
that person anymore, are you?
445
00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:43,155
I mean, until it's convenient.
446
00:17:43,331 --> 00:17:44,673
You follow me?
447
00:17:46,071 --> 00:17:48,286
Okay, look, you don't
wanna be a therapist, great.
448
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,724
You don't wanna do this
whole bar thing with me, fine.
449
00:17:50,742 --> 00:17:52,508
- I get it.
- Oh, do you, Shaun?
450
00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:54,911
- Do you really?
- Please, don't do that.
451
00:17:54,946 --> 00:17:57,881
Don't give me the "I'm
Shaun, the fucking bartender,
452
00:17:57,916 --> 00:18:00,028
and I should keep my
half-baked wisdom for
453
00:18:00,214 --> 00:18:01,746
drunks who don't remember it,"
454
00:18:01,753 --> 00:18:04,400
'cause you are at a
serious fucking crossroads.
455
00:18:04,656 --> 00:18:06,289
It's time to get real.
456
00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:11,059
Stop hiding behind this hot mess Nina
457
00:18:11,807 --> 00:18:15,054
and make that turn into
the rest of your life.
458
00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:16,507
Own it.
459
00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:18,601
[SOLEMN MUSIC]
460
00:18:18,636 --> 00:18:22,263
And I am not just
talking about your career.
461
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:24,952
♪ ♪
462
00:18:25,525 --> 00:18:26,897
Hm.
463
00:18:28,946 --> 00:18:31,198
You're in over your head, sport.
464
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,234
[MOODY MUSIC CONTINUES]
465
00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:38,450
♪ Change up and tell me
when you're coming, baby ♪
466
00:18:38,556 --> 00:18:41,002
♪ Oh ♪
467
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,184
♪ Taking what you got like it's better ♪
468
00:18:44,234 --> 00:18:45,330
Shaun.
469
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,647
♪ Isn't that the point of
why we're feeling fake as ♪
470
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:51,290
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
471
00:18:51,773 --> 00:18:54,723
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
472
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,050
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
473
00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:00,860
♪ Oh, oh ♪
474
00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:03,868
- Hi.
- Hey.
475
00:19:03,872 --> 00:19:04,925
Hi.
476
00:19:05,282 --> 00:19:06,514
[SOFT POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
477
00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:08,910
♪ Now I see ♪
478
00:19:08,922 --> 00:19:10,466
♪ And truth ♪
479
00:19:11,081 --> 00:19:12,134
[SIGHS]
480
00:19:12,207 --> 00:19:15,816
Well, thank you all for
meeting me here today.
481
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,807
- We called you, remember?
- No, I know.
482
00:19:18,814 --> 00:19:21,468
I just always wanted to say
that like a boss motherfucker.
483
00:19:22,298 --> 00:19:23,519
[CLEARS THROAT]
484
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,339
I'll go first.
485
00:19:27,003 --> 00:19:30,160
Obviously, we have some
logistical challenges
486
00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:31,518
that we need to work through.
487
00:19:31,523 --> 00:19:33,507
- Iz...
- I... I have a theory.
488
00:19:33,542 --> 00:19:37,288
Things work out when you work them out.
489
00:19:38,112 --> 00:19:40,283
- You have to commit to...
- Iz.
490
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,204
What? What... what is it?
What's wrong with you two?
491
00:19:43,419 --> 00:19:44,591
We...
492
00:19:45,465 --> 00:19:47,079
Just spit it out.
493
00:19:48,657 --> 00:19:49,943
- Uh...
- We're done...
494
00:19:51,054 --> 00:19:52,511
for good.
495
00:19:53,431 --> 00:19:55,416
We can't see you anymore.
496
00:19:58,558 --> 00:20:01,469
- Iz, you need to...
- Don't fucking tell me what I need to do.
497
00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:04,439
At least that much is up to me.
498
00:20:07,575 --> 00:20:09,315
[TENSE MUSIC]
499
00:20:09,511 --> 00:20:13,698
Well, what we're gonna do is stay away
500
00:20:13,718 --> 00:20:15,836
- from Ben and Lala's wedding...
- Yeah.
501
00:20:17,254 --> 00:20:20,787
So we can move on with our lives.
502
00:20:21,044 --> 00:20:23,848
♪ ♪
503
00:20:24,034 --> 00:20:25,683
And we need you to respect that.
504
00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:28,593
You need me to respect that?
505
00:20:28,679 --> 00:20:30,499
♪ ♪
506
00:20:30,634 --> 00:20:32,162
You guys want some respect?
507
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:36,822
♪ ♪
508
00:20:39,941 --> 00:20:41,975
I walked in here with a plan
509
00:20:42,306 --> 00:20:45,443
to tell you that I'm going
back to Otay Mesa on Monday
510
00:20:45,996 --> 00:20:49,439
and beyond that, I thought
we could talk about it
511
00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:51,199
and discuss it like three adults
512
00:20:51,239 --> 00:20:52,334
who fucking love each other.
513
00:20:52,355 --> 00:20:54,426
But I guess you guys
decided on another approach.
514
00:20:54,455 --> 00:20:55,732
Uh...
515
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,521
- we decided that...
- Of course you did.
516
00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:01,265
Jack and Emma deciding
517
00:21:01,291 --> 00:21:03,949
what's best for the three of us again.
518
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:07,126
♪ ♪
519
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:10,881
But I guess that's the most
fitting end of all, isn't it?
520
00:21:11,384 --> 00:21:13,762
You guys telling me how it's gonna be.
521
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:20,396
♪ ♪
522
00:21:22,130 --> 00:21:24,045
Fucking say something.
523
00:21:25,573 --> 00:21:28,272
Uh, we're grateful for
the year we had together
524
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:30,474
and for everything it
did for our marriage,
525
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:34,007
but we don't... uh...
526
00:21:35,299 --> 00:21:36,837
we don't...
527
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,721
We don't love you...
528
00:21:39,309 --> 00:21:40,696
Yeah.
529
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,738
Anymore.
530
00:21:43,668 --> 00:21:45,216
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
531
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:49,724
- And we think you deserve to be...
- Fuck you.
532
00:21:50,675 --> 00:21:53,207
♪ ♪
533
00:21:53,559 --> 00:21:55,790
You don't get to tell me what I deserve.
534
00:21:57,949 --> 00:21:59,786
[SOFT POP MUSIC CONTINUES]
535
00:22:00,097 --> 00:22:04,018
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
536
00:22:05,315 --> 00:22:09,517
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
537
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:12,294
♪ ♪
538
00:22:12,330 --> 00:22:14,593
♪ Ooh ♪
539
00:22:14,608 --> 00:22:17,466
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
540
00:22:17,559 --> 00:22:21,971
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
541
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:25,032
♪ ♪
542
00:22:25,339 --> 00:22:29,712
♪ How can I speak? ♪
543
00:22:30,445 --> 00:22:35,381
♪ Will I see tonight? ♪
544
00:22:35,677 --> 00:22:37,153
♪ ♪
545
00:22:37,392 --> 00:22:42,292
♪ Not like before ♪
546
00:22:42,724 --> 00:22:47,674
♪ I was torn from your side ♪
547
00:22:47,931 --> 00:22:49,497
♪ ♪
548
00:22:49,533 --> 00:22:51,418
♪ Time ♪
549
00:22:51,675 --> 00:22:54,639
♪ Fills my mind ♪
550
00:22:54,815 --> 00:22:57,188
♪ I was blind ♪
551
00:22:57,937 --> 00:23:01,098
♪ Now I see ♪
552
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,772
♪ And truth ♪
553
00:23:04,004 --> 00:23:06,883
♪ In your eyes ♪
554
00:23:07,054 --> 00:23:09,978
♪ I had lies ♪
555
00:23:10,149 --> 00:23:14,481
♪ Now I see tonight ♪
556
00:23:14,697 --> 00:23:19,085
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
557
00:23:19,166 --> 00:23:22,237
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
558
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,399
[INTENSE TONES]
559
00:23:27,751 --> 00:23:29,430
[WHOOSHING]
560
00:23:29,447 --> 00:23:33,699
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40805
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