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1
00:01:05,329 --> 00:01:07,000
(GROWLING)
2
00:01:49,569 --> 00:01:50,469
(SNARLS)
3
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:03,760
No! No!
4
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:05,560
(SCREAMS)
5
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,829
Domo!
6
00:02:08,719 --> 00:02:10,180
You ranted, sir?
7
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:11,689
(MOJO CRYING)
8
00:02:11,889 --> 00:02:14,849
I'm ruined! Ratings are off.
9
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,810
Video's in the toilet.
My sponsors want to deep-fry me!
10
00:02:22,770 --> 00:02:25,789
And your action figures aren't selling!
11
00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:28,680
You designed the show. So change it.
12
00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:30,539
(SCOFFS)
13
00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:33,870
Change it? You cold sore!
14
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,060
Just try replacing me!
15
00:02:39,319 --> 00:02:41,930
You've abused every decent actor
in the galaxy.
16
00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:44,840
You're a soulless, sadistic bag of pus,
17
00:02:45,229 --> 00:02:46,870
and you smell!
18
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,840
(EXCLAIMS)
19
00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:53,039
Flattery, young man,
will get you absolutely nowhere!
20
00:02:53,629 --> 00:02:55,180
(LAUGHING)
21
00:02:55,439 --> 00:02:56,430
You little vermin!
22
00:02:56,599 --> 00:02:58,969
(BARKING) You're all dog meat!
Look at this.
23
00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:00,740
(GRUNTS)
24
00:03:00,909 --> 00:03:03,159
See this nose hair?
It can act better than you!
25
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:07,099
Actually, if I hold it up to the light,
it looks like you, in a tuxedo!
26
00:03:12,219 --> 00:03:14,650
He had a point, O Bulbous One.
27
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,080
What do you mean?
28
00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:21,349
(STOMACH GROWLING)
29
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,370
(BELCHES)
30
00:03:26,669 --> 00:03:27,750
Tell me we have a replacement.
31
00:03:27,939 --> 00:03:28,840
(BELCHES)
32
00:03:29,939 --> 00:03:31,139
Tell me, please!
33
00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:35,560
Nothing proven,
Most Congealed Master.
34
00:03:39,409 --> 00:03:41,870
The X-Men. A bit primitive,
35
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:45,879
and from a backwater dimension
we don't usually bother with.
36
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,759
Do I look like a man that cares?
37
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,099
(MOJO SPITS)
38
00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:51,930
I don't care! Get them!
39
00:03:52,189 --> 00:03:55,060
Mojo can make a star out of anyone!
40
00:03:56,159 --> 00:03:59,259
Instantaneous test numbers
are good in all dimensions,
41
00:03:59,729 --> 00:04:02,189
O Potentate of Programming.
42
00:04:03,669 --> 00:04:05,750
The passion! The drama!
43
00:04:06,069 --> 00:04:07,120
(MOJO WHOOPING)
44
00:04:07,310 --> 00:04:09,120
(LAUGHING)
And we can get them cheap!
45
00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:13,139
I'm making money just standing here
thinking about it! Am I standing?
46
00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:15,639
You may have done it again.
47
00:04:16,350 --> 00:04:19,189
Of course I have! I am a genius!
48
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:22,019
Get Mojo the X-Men!
49
00:04:25,589 --> 00:04:27,019
(MOJO LAUGHING)
50
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:30,769
This is the finest television
available today.
51
00:04:31,199 --> 00:04:33,860
Digital everything. 1,300 scan lines.
52
00:04:34,269 --> 00:04:36,230
Does it have a built-in surge protector?
53
00:04:36,569 --> 00:04:40,350
Our last television
met with an unfortunate accident.
54
00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:44,160
-Accident? I don't understand.
-You'd have to know Jubilee.
55
00:04:44,649 --> 00:04:47,339
She won't have any trouble
with our new remote control.
56
00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:50,110
Uh-uh.
57
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,829
-Don't touch that dial!
-That's odd.
58
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:55,439
(LAUGHS) Hey, I warned you!
59
00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:57,310
(SALES CLERK GROANS)
60
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:01,589
Nobody tunes out Mojovision!
61
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,750
CYCLOPS:
Who are you? What do you want?
62
00:05:04,029 --> 00:05:05,490
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)
63
00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:08,569
Let's not get off
on the wrong foot, bubby.
64
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,490
(MOJO LAUGHING)
65
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:13,329
Can we talk?
66
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,430
I've had my eye on your career.
Forceful, heroic.
67
00:05:16,779 --> 00:05:19,209
(BELCHES) Loved what you did
with the Sentinels! Star potential!
68
00:05:20,009 --> 00:05:22,439
Sorry, it must have been the producer
I had for lunch.
69
00:05:22,819 --> 00:05:25,569
I mean, the thing with the eye blasts,
talk about your x-ray specs.
70
00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:28,040
Baby, you'll knock them dead!
71
00:05:28,759 --> 00:05:31,389
Who are you?
Is this some kind of sick joke?
72
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,750
Cyclops, sweetheart!
73
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:39,850
I'm offering you X-Men
a lifetime contract!
74
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,589
With the standard
non-survival clauses.
75
00:05:42,899 --> 00:05:43,829
Don't worry, it's just a formality.
76
00:05:44,009 --> 00:05:47,490
I'm still not sure what you're selling,
pal, but we're leaving.
77
00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:49,269
A rejection!
78
00:05:50,379 --> 00:05:52,870
Well... Well, I should have known better
79
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:56,879
than to try to help out some
ungrateful amateur act from a...
80
00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:59,790
from a dirt-bag dimension like yours!
81
00:06:00,149 --> 00:06:02,930
Who do you think you are?
You're nothing! A nobody!
82
00:06:04,329 --> 00:06:07,230
And nobody says "No" to Mojo!
83
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,060
(BOTH GROANING)
84
00:06:11,399 --> 00:06:12,860
(MOJO LAUGHING)
85
00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:17,220
Listen up, one-eye.
86
00:06:17,540 --> 00:06:20,170
I make the program decisions
around here!
87
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,050
(MOJO LAUGHING)
88
00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:32,009
(CYCLOPS GROANS)
89
00:06:35,689 --> 00:06:38,180
JEAN:
Stop it! He can't survive much more!
90
00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:41,329
Tell it to a lawyer.
91
00:06:41,629 --> 00:06:43,649
Do I interfere
in your contract negotiations?
92
00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:46,209
Like I need some
two-bit supporting actress
93
00:06:46,569 --> 00:06:48,790
telling me how to run my business!
94
00:06:54,079 --> 00:06:56,329
What is this? The Fourth of July?
95
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,550
Scott! Are you all right?
96
00:06:58,850 --> 00:07:03,040
(GASPS) Now that's what I call
entertainment! Spiral!
97
00:07:03,649 --> 00:07:06,689
Would you show our cast to the studio
and call wardrobe?
98
00:07:07,149 --> 00:07:08,670
They look like they dressed out
of a dumpster!
99
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,290
(LAUGHING) I mean, really.
100
00:07:12,089 --> 00:07:14,699
Excuse me one moment,
would you, please?
101
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,089
The auditions are closed.
102
00:07:17,399 --> 00:07:19,360
Time to report to the set.
103
00:07:25,870 --> 00:07:27,160
(WOLVERINE GROWLING)
104
00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:28,389
Jean!
105
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,389
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)
106
00:08:05,579 --> 00:08:06,720
MOJO: What an entrance!
107
00:08:06,910 --> 00:08:09,949
Can you hear that applause?
They love you guys!
108
00:08:10,519 --> 00:08:13,509
Stick with me and you,
X-Men, will be stars.
109
00:08:14,290 --> 00:08:16,899
Not like that ungrateful has-been...
110
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:21,800
-What's his name?
-Longshot, O Depraved Omelet.
111
00:08:22,730 --> 00:08:23,870
MOJO: Longshot.
112
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:25,579
(MOJO SPITS)
113
00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:28,129
He'll never eat lunch
in this universe again!
114
00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:31,480
He's gone, he's history, he's jet fumes.
115
00:08:31,939 --> 00:08:35,340
DOMO: He is forgotten,
O Corrupter of Crania.
116
00:08:35,909 --> 00:08:38,840
You've got about 1O seconds
to send us back!
117
00:08:39,509 --> 00:08:43,929
Excuse me, are you threatening me?
118
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,049
(ALL LAUGHING)
119
00:08:46,289 --> 00:08:47,960
Hey, hey, hey, this isn't a comedy!
120
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:49,830
If you can't keep your lines straight,
121
00:08:50,090 --> 00:08:52,610
I can write you out of the first act!
122
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,360
Power tends to corrupt,
123
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,669
and absolute power
corrupts absolutely,
124
00:08:58,129 --> 00:08:59,799
as seems evident.
125
00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:02,029
Hey, furball, you had all your shots?
126
00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:06,559
And what, pray tell, are you
X-Men going to give this
127
00:09:07,169 --> 00:09:09,570
mind-numbed bunch of couch potatoes
128
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:12,690
and the trillions watching at home?
What do they want to see?
129
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:15,919
Peace? Freedom?
130
00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,639
(LAUGHING) Maybe good government?
131
00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:24,820
They want blood and guts
and love and hate.
132
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:28,070
They want entertainment!
133
00:09:28,899 --> 00:09:31,919
You give them action! Action! Action!
134
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:33,860
(WHISTLES)
135
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,419
(SCREAMING)
136
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,909
(MIMICS GUN FIRING)
137
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,690
The X-Men don't fight without a reason!
138
00:09:43,039 --> 00:09:45,970
Violence and destruction
are not forms of amusement.
139
00:09:46,409 --> 00:09:47,929
(EXCLAIMS)
140
00:09:48,179 --> 00:09:51,779
Trust me, O My Performing Cattle,
they are!
141
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,370
And if ratings don't go up
with every show,
142
00:09:54,690 --> 00:09:59,029
I'll cancel the series
and its performers permanently!
143
00:09:59,659 --> 00:10:04,019
Control room, it's showtime!
144
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,460
-What happened to Storm?
-Scott!
145
00:10:27,889 --> 00:10:31,809
-How did we get out here?
-I think we can thank our friend Mojo.
146
00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:34,470
(EXPLOSIONS)
147
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:38,789
-Where did that come from?
-Over there!
148
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:46,340
-Torpedo!
-This one's mine.
149
00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:00,210
Now to give them the slip.
150
00:11:09,159 --> 00:11:10,649
(MOJO EXCLAIMING)
151
00:11:12,929 --> 00:11:14,419
(MOJO LAUGHING)
152
00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:19,620
We can't outrun those!
153
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:22,120
STORM: I shall deal
with the airborne threat!
154
00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:31,519
Wind and water, whirl and rage!
155
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,240
MOJO: Bravo! Bravo!
156
00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:55,789
(GROANS)
157
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,820
Cyclops! We must abandon ship!
158
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:08,360
(LAUGHING) Now that's what I call
a slam-bang ending!
159
00:12:08,919 --> 00:12:10,350
(CROWD CHEERING)
160
00:12:18,929 --> 00:12:20,659
(CROWD CHEERING)
161
00:12:20,929 --> 00:12:23,419
Listen to that audience response!
162
00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:28,029
I'm getting numbers here that
mathematicians have never heard of.
163
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:31,720
The ratings are going through the roof!
164
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:35,620
(GROANING)
165
00:12:36,419 --> 00:12:39,700
I may have to let them live.
166
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:41,509
JEAN: You're sick!
167
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,149
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)
168
00:12:43,389 --> 00:12:45,820
Scott and Storm are human beings!
169
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,990
You can't destroy them
just to keep people amused!
170
00:12:49,429 --> 00:12:51,539
Do I look like a man that cares?
171
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,570
Hey, control room,
bring up show number two.
172
00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:59,110
Control room.
173
00:12:59,809 --> 00:13:01,360
MOJO: Control room!
174
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,509
We've got to get somebody to
help with the filing.
175
00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:12,289
Where's Rogue?
176
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:20,059
MOJO:
Out of the blackness of space comes...
177
00:13:21,659 --> 00:13:23,470
Rogue Star!
178
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:33,580
MOJO: I tell you, this gal, Rogue, is big!
179
00:13:34,009 --> 00:13:36,409
Every kid in your dimension
will give her right arm
180
00:13:36,809 --> 00:13:38,740
for a pair of Rogue gloves!
181
00:13:39,649 --> 00:13:40,990
What's going on, Beast?
182
00:13:43,019 --> 00:13:44,480
ROGUE: Looks like old blubber guts
183
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,799
stuck us in
some high-tech shooting gallery.
184
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,049
Oh, dear.
185
00:14:02,669 --> 00:14:05,159
Deft maneuver, my dear.
But a bit breathtaking.
186
00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:09,299
We may be outgunned.
But this little honey sure can handle.
187
00:14:11,549 --> 00:14:14,009
MOJO: Stupendous!
188
00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:17,750
(BEAST SCREAMS)
189
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:26,399
(SCREECHING)
190
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:27,950
We are stable,
191
00:14:28,129 --> 00:14:31,730
but I fear our course
is taking us into the sun!
192
00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:35,500
Dang-blasted thing won't turn!
193
00:14:35,899 --> 00:14:38,419
-Hey!
-Rogue!
194
00:14:38,809 --> 00:14:42,000
Unhand her, you repulsive reptilians!
195
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,220
(GRUNTING)
196
00:14:59,990 --> 00:15:01,450
(BEAST SCREAMING)
197
00:15:07,629 --> 00:15:10,379
Beast! Beast! Beast!
198
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,649
MOJO: That's colossal!
199
00:15:16,779 --> 00:15:17,919
(MOJO MIMICS EXPLOSION)
200
00:15:18,110 --> 00:15:19,399
(EXCLAIMS)
201
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:21,889
I give it two flippers up.
202
00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:34,309
Next!
203
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,139
And now it's Wolverine, starring in...
204
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,220
I Dream of Jean!
205
00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:53,899
Let's give it up.
Push that applause button, Spiral.
206
00:15:54,149 --> 00:15:55,230
Let's rock'n'roll.
207
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:07,299
Wolverine! Listen!
Mojo said it's only entertainment.
208
00:16:08,029 --> 00:16:09,080
He won't let us win!
209
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:11,309
He's controlling everything
that happens!
210
00:16:11,629 --> 00:16:12,860
I'm going to try...
211
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:14,149
(JEAN SCREAMS)
212
00:16:14,330 --> 00:16:18,399
-Jean!
-MOJO: What a love story!
213
00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:22,490
Am I moved by this mush, or what?
214
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:29,559
(WOLVERINE GRUNTING)
215
00:16:37,059 --> 00:16:40,960
MOJO: The highest ratings ever
for an educational show!
216
00:16:44,059 --> 00:16:46,870
Entertainment. It's just television.
217
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:50,179
Electronic images
created by machines.
218
00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:57,230
-Logan!
-Hang on, Jean!
219
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,029
Electronic images
created by machines,
220
00:17:02,779 --> 00:17:06,150
and machines can be affected
by psycho-kinetic energy!
221
00:17:07,849 --> 00:17:10,630
(STAMMERING) What... What is this?
222
00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:15,329
(CROWD BOOING)
223
00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:18,259
No!
224
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,599
Control room!
225
00:17:23,269 --> 00:17:25,640
What are you doing up there?
Sitting on your hands!
226
00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:29,720
MOJO ON SPEAKER:
Go to a commercial! Go to reruns!
227
00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:32,329
Go to an infomercial! Go to something!
228
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,720
I'm losing my audience
to a bunch of dead trees!
229
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,519
-SPIRAL: What are you doing here?
-I'm setting the X-Men free.
230
00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:43,269
So they can get out of my time slot.
231
00:17:54,670 --> 00:17:58,539
Hey, hey, hey!
You make them into stars
232
00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:02,019
and they just turn on you.
233
00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:03,309
No!
234
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,670
How about giving me a lift, Rogue?
235
00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:07,740
ROGUE: Any time, sugar.
236
00:18:08,049 --> 00:18:10,799
Hold it!
237
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:15,000
This, if you haven't been paying
attention, is my dimension!
238
00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:19,789
Get with the program or get crushed!
239
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,970
(SCREAMS)
240
00:18:24,529 --> 00:18:26,109
(CROWD CHEERING)
241
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:39,990
(GROANS)
242
00:18:49,089 --> 00:18:51,430
Can someone please tell me
what just happened?
243
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,509
DOMO:
Everything that Mojo created is gone.
244
00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:04,869
Especially the audience.
245
00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:08,650
Well, nothing lasts forever,
especially in television.
246
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:12,400
Did I tell you I used to go out
with an actress with two heads?
247
00:19:12,849 --> 00:19:15,920
-Yeah? Was she nice?
-LONGSHOT: Yes and no.
248
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,720
Bubula!
249
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:25,130
Come here. Come here, yeah.
250
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:26,569
(KISSING)
251
00:19:27,490 --> 00:19:29,509
You look great. Lost weight?
Had the face-lift? Whatever.
252
00:19:29,859 --> 00:19:33,759
Listen, it's time we did
a fresh start, you know.
253
00:19:34,329 --> 00:19:37,259
Now, we did a little re-think on that
re-write for a re-group on a re-draft.
254
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:41,390
No, I'm talking new show,
new time slot, new dimension,
255
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:45,099
bigger hair, less money.
The whole nine yards!
256
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,019
(MOJO LAUGHING)
257
00:19:50,279 --> 00:19:53,849
Look! A jungle picture!
258
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:56,440
(SCREECHING)
259
00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:03,240
XAVIER: That must be your Citadel.
260
00:20:03,529 --> 00:20:07,480
Yes, when I built it
I felt I was creating a new world here.
261
00:20:08,069 --> 00:20:09,299
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
262
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:17,140
Magneto, we must help her!
263
00:20:19,180 --> 00:20:20,490
(GROANING)
264
00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:22,670
No, Charles!
265
00:20:25,089 --> 00:20:27,430
The creature attacking the woman
is Sauron.
266
00:20:27,789 --> 00:20:30,220
His powers would make him
a dangerous foe,
267
00:20:30,589 --> 00:20:32,430
even if we still had our own.
268
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:41,740
There is nothing we can do.
269
00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:46,340
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