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1
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,265
[ Horn honking ]What's happening?
2
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:05,701
Well,
either my brother's here
3
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,616
to pick up the daughter
we accidentally brainwashed,
4
00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:09,487
or your mother's here
with her weird new boyfriend,
5
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,228
or someone's
stealing our car.
6
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:12,708
[ Honking rhythmically ]
7
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:26,026
Don't bother making me
breakfast. I'm not coming in.
8
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,419
Chuy, I'm sorry.
9
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:30,247
I was just trying to
help Marta.
10
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:32,293
I never meant for her
to run away.
11
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,164
Aw, there's no need
to apologize.
12
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:37,080
You've just undone
15 years of parenting
13
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:38,212
and destroyed
our whole family.
14
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:39,865
Eh.
15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,302
All I said is
she's old enough
16
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,695
to start thinking
for herself.
17
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,828
You are no longer welcome
18
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:48,091
to buy Herbalife supplements
from me.
19
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,487
Hello, Chuy. Brie.
20
00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,755
M'lady.
21
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,889
Oh, this isn't a pick-up.
It's a drop-off.
22
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,326
Marta's yours now.
23
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,892
What?
24
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,764
Marta, you think you know
better than us?
25
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,070
Yes, I do.
26
00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:11,636
[ Chuckles ]
Huh.
27
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:13,073
Then I'm gonna send you
into the world
28
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,509
the same way
my parents sent me.
29
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:17,642
This is a bag of undies.
30
00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:20,906
I-I think we're all
overreacting here, huh?
31
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,691
Maybe we should
talk about this.
32
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:24,736
[ Scoffs ] Your words
have done enough damage.
33
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:27,043
Well, they were kinda
Jo's words, but okay.
34
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,352
I have nothing to say
to my parents.
35
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,093
I'm done
living by your rules.
36
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,703
Yeah, well,
at least we haverules!
37
00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:37,271
Hey, we have rules.
38
00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:38,663
[ Vehicle approaches ]
39
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:39,795
Sandy!
40
00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,972
Sandyyyyy!
41
00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:45,670
How are we now in
"Streetcar Named Desire"?
42
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,585
Get a load of me, gals.
43
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,587
Dave bought me chaps.
44
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,372
I'm his old lady now!
45
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:53,330
Brie,
set the GPS to church.
46
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,815
Hey, Bill,
you're really in it, huh?
47
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,512
Yes, Dave.
48
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,211
Yes, we're, uh, "in it."Yeah.
49
00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:16,223
♪♪♪
50
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:20,488
I dropped Marta off
at her 6:00 a.m. swim practice.
51
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:23,708
Hey, uh, just checking.
Is this my life now?
52
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:26,058
Just till
she goes to college.
53
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,625
Do we have to pay
for that?
54
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:32,195
Mommy, why does Marta
live here now?
55
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,676
Because her and Tío Chuy
56
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:36,417
are kind of having
a bit of a tough time.
57
00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,158
Why?
58
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:41,161
Because sometimes people who
love each other disagree.
59
00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:43,032
Why?
60
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:44,512
Because we kinda took
a huge swing and whiffed.
61
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:45,426
Why?
62
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,125
Because we don't know
what we're doing.
63
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,518
Why?
64
00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,433
[ Sighs ]
Someone please end this.
65
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:53,434
Why?
66
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,306
Don't mind us, folks.
67
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,090
We're just swinging by
68
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,354
so Dave can whiz, blaze,
69
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,007
and prime
his insulin pump.
70
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,618
[ Bag thuds ]
71
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,010
Is this our room?
72
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,187
No, Dave.
This is the kitchen.
73
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,276
Dave's gonna stay with us
for a while.
74
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,583
Uh, Dave's
gonna l-li-- live here?
75
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,324
Why?
76
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,935
Yeah, why?
77
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,155
Because of you, Bill,
78
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:21,549
we have rekindled a love
79
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,551
that we thought
was lost forever.
80
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,422
Oh.
Oh! Mm.
81
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,470
Way to go, Bill.
82
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,385
See, the last time
we split up,
83
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,038
I went off to Vietnam.
84
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,432
Oh, wow.
Sorry, Dave.
85
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:36,694
I-I-I didn't know
you served.
86
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:39,741
Oh, no, no.
No stolen valor here.
87
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,222
No, no, I-I went to Vietnam
to avoid the draft.
88
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:45,790
You think about it.
89
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:47,227
Where's the last place
they'd look, huh?
90
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,797
Okay, see ya later.
91
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,756
We have to buy some mice
for Dave's snake.
92
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:55,974
Mm.
93
00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,064
Okay, wait.
Uh, Mom, hold on a second.
94
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,283
We need to talk about
Dave living here.
95
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,242
Oh, sure, Bill,
you --
96
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:04,461
you got a man cave
where we can chop it up?
97
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:07,986
♪♪♪
98
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:13,383
Look, man, I'm gonna --
gonna get right to it.
99
00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:15,211
Um, nicotine patch?
100
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:18,170
I'm good, thanks.
Okay.
101
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,737
Ahhh.
102
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,613
Leaving your mother was
the dumbest thing I ever did.
103
00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,092
[ Both chuckle ]
104
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:27,832
I find that
hard to believe.
105
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,399
[ Chuckles ]
106
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:30,835
Yeah, but it seems like
107
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,620
the universe
wants us to be together.
108
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,274
I actually had
an ayahuasca trip
109
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,363
in which she gave birth
to me.
110
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:39,670
Okay, well,
that does not mean
111
00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,498
that you need to move in
after two days.
112
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,674
[ Laughs ] Aw, man, come on.
Who's counting the days?
113
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:44,980
It's fate.
114
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:46,329
I mean, you called me
to fix a busted sprinkler.
115
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,636
Instead, you fixed me.
116
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,943
You -- You charged me
for an estimate.
117
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:55,164
Son, I'd like to
ask your blessing
118
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,731
to propose to Mom.
119
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:59,429
N-No. What? No, no, no, no.
No. No way.
120
00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:01,649
Lookit, Junior,
I never do what I'm told.
121
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,955
I mean, I came out of my mama
holding a bass,
122
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:05,957
and I've been jamming
ever since.
123
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,569
♪♪♪
124
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,528
Look, you're the one
who "played God"
125
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:12,921
and arranged for your mom
and Dave to meet.
126
00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,227
You started it.
127
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:16,881
Okay, well,
now I want to stopit.
128
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:18,579
He's not good enough
for her.
129
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:22,670
Sure, but maybe he is good
forher.
130
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,759
I mean, I haven't seen her
this happy
131
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,978
since Joy Behar
got a new haircut.
132
00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:30,155
Okay,
this is your stop.
133
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,766
I would appreciate
a five-star rating.
134
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,245
[ Seatbelt clicks ]
135
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,596
Hey, uh, you gonna talk to Chuy
about Marta?
136
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:38,250
Oh, I doubt
that'll come up.
137
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,731
Ugh. Today's gonna suck.Mm-hmm.
138
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:44,126
But we're doing a good thing
taking in Marta, right?
139
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:47,695
Hey, um, can I be honest
and constructive real quick?
140
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:48,913
[ Inhales sharply ]
I should go in.
141
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,132
No, no, no.
Babe, babe, babe, wait.
142
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:51,916
Just -- Just hear me out, okay?
Look.
143
00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:52,961
[ Sighs ]
144
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:54,571
We don't actually
know anything
145
00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:56,138
about raising a teenager,
right?
146
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:57,966
Skip to
the constructive part.
147
00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,707
Okay, maybe Chuy doesn't know
what he's doing,
148
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,100
but we also don't know
what we'redoing.
149
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:05,321
So what if you just give Chuy
the benefit of the doubt?
150
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,195
Maybe you should give your mom
the benefit of the doubt.
151
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,720
No, don't take the thing that
I just said youneed to do
152
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,243
and then say
that I need to do it.
153
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,723
But you do need to do it.
154
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,420
Yeah, which you only noticed
155
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:18,987
because I told you
that you need to do it.
156
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,858
Oh, so you're admitting
you need to do it?
157
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,861
W-- No, we're only talking about
me needing to do it
158
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,473
because you needed
to do it first!
159
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,866
I love you. Ha.Love you, too.
160
00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:33,305
Okay, good luck
with your new dad.
161
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,003
Thanks!
162
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:36,570
Enjoy your day with the guy
whose daughter you stole!
163
00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:43,359
[ Scoffs ]
164
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:52,107
[ Water glugging ]
165
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:03,423
[ Sighs ] We can't keep
ignoring each other forever.
166
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:04,859
Maybe youcan't.
167
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:10,517
Incidentally, all of our
brothers are on my side.
168
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:13,911
Yeah,
saw the Twitter poll.
169
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:16,566
"Incidentally,"
how long are you planning
170
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:17,872
on leaving your kid
with me?
171
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:19,656
I don't know.
172
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,658
You know, I have three kids.
Marta only has one dad.
173
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:24,182
Sounds like she should be
coming to me.
174
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:28,491
Hey, I heard you gave Marta
some terrible advice
175
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,928
and messed up
her life.
176
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,190
[ Tab pops ]
177
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:33,235
Who said that?
178
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,019
Chuy said we can't say.
179
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:37,065
Get the hell out of here,
you bozos.
180
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:39,023
Okay.
181
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,198
We gotta go meet
the new clients anyway.Yeah.
182
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,509
Why are they
meeting clients?
183
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,337
Because I don't trust you
to do it.
184
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:49,164
You'll steal
their children.
185
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:51,253
Chuy, come on.
186
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:53,298
A doughnut?
187
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,170
Great discipline.
188
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:57,738
Hey, is Marta even getting
any greens at your house?
189
00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,391
For someone
who doesn't seem to
190
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,263
care about his daughter
very much,
191
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:02,699
you sure do care
about your daughter.
192
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,528
You should talk
to her.
193
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,617
Why?
Is she being a problem?
194
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,097
You know, Marta told me
195
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:11,882
you haven't once asked her
what she wants to do.
196
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,710
She's 15.
197
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,538
I don't ask her what to do.
I tellher what to do.
198
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,975
Why?
Chuy, she's a dream.
199
00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:20,108
Yeah, she's a dream
because I'm hard on her.
200
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,849
[ Scoffs ]
201
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,720
You always criticize
my parenting,
202
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:24,939
but you know I'm right
about this.
203
00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:27,115
Nope. Wrong again.
204
00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:28,290
How do you do it?
205
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,901
[ Microwave door opens, closes ]
206
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,077
Okay, Chuy,
just remember,
207
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:34,992
this is exactly how
Dad dealt with me when...
208
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:41,695
...when I was
Marta's age,
209
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,653
and now we barely talk.
210
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:44,785
I mean,
is that what you want?
211
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,830
Maybe Dad
barely talks to you
212
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:48,179
because
of how you turned out.
213
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:49,877
You know what?
214
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,008
Maybe it is better that
your daughter lives with me!
215
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,880
Good! Take my daughter!
I'm done with her!
216
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:56,057
Good riddance!
217
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,320
Uh, as you can see,
we're a family business.
218
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,413
Do you need help
with dinner?
219
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,155
Nope. This is it.
220
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:08,809
We usually just eat
whatever the kids don't finish.
221
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:11,376
But...
222
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,117
I could fix you
223
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:16,120
some peanut butter crackers
and space ice cream.
224
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,645
Sorry, we're not used to
having a real person here.
225
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,864
I'll go shopping tomorrow.
226
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,258
That's okay. This is fun.
It's like indoor camping.
227
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,086
"Indoor camping."
228
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,610
That's actually a nice way
to describe our life.
229
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,090
Yep, would explain
all the bug bites.
230
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:35,052
I had the best time
with Dave.
231
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:37,011
We spent all day
at the docks.
232
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:40,449
What docks?
We're in Denver.
233
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,974
I guess I don't really know
where I was.
234
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:47,717
Okay, uh, listen, Mom,
235
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:50,241
I don't mean
to harsh your buzz,
236
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:53,288
but don't you think you and Dave
are moving a little fast?
237
00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:56,160
I know.
Isn't it great?
238
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,597
Is it?
239
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,860
Bill,
when your dad left,
240
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:02,297
I-I was so focused on
being a single mom,
241
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,255
I never had time for love.
242
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:06,127
No, I know. I know.
243
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:09,086
I-I-I just don't want to
spend the rest of my life
244
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,742
staring at you while you ignore
my helpful suggestions.
245
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:15,223
I want to go out
and live.
246
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:19,183
Well, you know,
I guess I'm, uh, happy for you.
247
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,445
Space ice cream?
248
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,534
Oh, no, I'm not staying.
249
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,624
Dave and I just popped in
for a quick co-shower.
250
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:26,974
Mom! My God, the kids.
Would you --
251
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:29,672
Oh, no, no, no. It's -- It's --
It's purely for safety.
252
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,892
Humidity
gives Dave flashbacks.
253
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,894
To his vacation?
254
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:37,114
Oh, I've got to go.
255
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,421
Dave has something
extra special planned.
256
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,553
I've got goose pimples.
257
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,166
Are you okay,
Uncle Bill?
258
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:47,298
Hmm? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine.
259
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,736
No, uh, you know, my mom
might legally bind herself
260
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:50,911
to a 71-year-old
with a chain wallet,
261
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:53,217
but I'm great.
262
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,135
Hey, why are you
standing here?
Hm?
263
00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:01,051
Oh, there's now
one bathroom for six people.
264
00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:03,097
[ Sighs ]
Sorry that took so long.
265
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:04,794
I think Sandy and Dave
clogged the drain.
266
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:07,579
We're moving.
Let's move.
267
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:10,452
So, if it's okay,
I'm going out.
268
00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:11,540
Have fun.
269
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,500
Uh, where are you going?
270
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,459
Don't tell him, Marta.
271
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,940
Bill,
this isn't Chuy's house.
272
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,985
We trust people here,
and we give them freedom.
273
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:24,031
Okay, well,
we trust you, Marta,
274
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,597
but, uh, a-any idea
when you'll be back?
275
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,599
9:00?
276
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:30,298
Great.
We will see you then.
277
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,604
So I can just...
walk out now?
278
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,347
Yeah.
Have a great time.
279
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,132
Or a bad time.
280
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:41,570
Your choice.
[ Chuckles ]
281
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,311
Wow. Thanks, Tía.
282
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:44,094
Mm-hmm.See ya later.
283
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,966
Okay.
284
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,707
[ Sighs ]
285
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,621
Are you sure that's how
you parent a teen?
286
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:52,842
Sandy: Don't wait up!
Dave's taking me skydiving!
287
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,151
Uh, are you sure this is
how you parent a parent?
288
00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:59,196
Mom, Dave!
289
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,156
Okay, hey,
this has gone far enough.
290
00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,419
Oh, hey, listen,
if this is about the shower,
291
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:07,204
Marta clogged the drain.
292
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,206
No, forget the shower.
293
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:10,512
You're going skydiving?
294
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:11,165
Yeah. [ Chuckles ]Yeah.
295
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,296
At night?
296
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,516
[ Both chuckle ]
297
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:15,560
Just cool your jets,
Billy.
298
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,301
It's indoor skydiving.
299
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:19,564
At the mall.
300
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:23,133
And we signed a really long
waiver about safety,
301
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,874
so you don't have to
worry about a thing.
302
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,963
Yeah, I'm gonna take real good
care of your mama.
303
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,443
Uh, no.
No -- No, you're not.
304
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:29,444
Wait, Mom.
305
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,751
What is it, Bill?
306
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,583
You know what?
Just, uh, bring a sweater.
307
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,803
The mall can
get really cold.Oh. Thanks.
308
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,893
Oh, thanks for
the dumb advice, Grandpa.
309
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,896
♪♪♪
310
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,073
[ Sighs ]
311
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,904
Kids are down,
and it only took two hours.
312
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:57,994
Hey, I haven't heard
from my mom yet.
313
00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,779
Have you?
314
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,563
Bill, in our entire
relationship,
315
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:02,782
your mother
has texted me once --
316
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:05,393
by accident.
317
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,221
It said,
"I vote for Clay Aiken."
318
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:11,660
Okay,
so, what's wrong with you?
319
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,401
[ Sighs ]
Look, your mom is 71.
320
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:14,445
She's fine.
321
00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:15,925
Marta's 15.
322
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,797
She is now
over an hour late.
323
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,625
Ah, okay.
I see we've pivoted on Marta.
324
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,846
[ Sighs ]
I've just --
325
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:24,934
You know, I've just been
thinking about
326
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,718
what I was like
when I was 15.
327
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,156
I mean, Bill,
if Marta is anything like me,
328
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,853
she could be anywhere.
329
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:33,116
And it could be...
bad.
330
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,642
Did you try calling her?
331
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,949
No, Chuy won't let her
have a damn phone.
332
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,822
I'm up,
and I'm never going to bed!
333
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:47,522
Oh, God.
I lost Chuy's kid.
334
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:48,828
[ Knock on door ]
335
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:50,394
And here she is.
336
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:51,439
You know, I was never
actually worried.
337
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,745
Oh, sure, yeah.
338
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,399
[ Sighs ]
We've come for our daughter.
339
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:56,748
Mom lost her.
340
00:13:56,923 --> 00:14:00,665
What?!
341
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,190
S-S-So,
how's everything else?
342
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:10,632
We trusted you
with our child.
343
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:11,633
No, you didn't.
344
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,069
And why should we?
345
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:14,549
You've been irresponsible
your whole life.
346
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:17,117
I'mirresponsible?
347
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,901
I tried to get you
to talk to Marta,
348
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:21,077
but you abandoned her.
349
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,036
I only abandoned her
to make her prove she loves me.
350
00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:25,777
Okay, everybody relax.
351
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,954
Look, where is Marta usually
on Thursday night?
352
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,695
Helping me
wrap things for eBay.
353
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,002
I know where Marta went.
354
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,221
Oh, thank God.
355
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:35,657
Where, honey?
356
00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,138
I'll tell you
if you give me a doughnut.
357
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,661
Oh, wow.
358
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:41,228
Imagine if Jesus
only did the right thing
359
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:44,231
when he got a doughnut.
360
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:48,104
She said she was going to
some older guy's place.
361
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:51,586
♪♪♪
362
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,938
Wow.
This is really high.
363
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,026
It's 30 feet.
364
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,376
Oh.
Ooh.
365
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,378
Okay, so, in a minute,
366
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:03,163
we'll switch on
a high-powered jet of air.
367
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:04,686
You'll jump into the tube
368
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,949
and experience
the majesty of flight.
369
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,952
There's my Chico's!
370
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,085
It looks so small.Yeah.
371
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:14,609
Dave.
Hmm?
372
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:17,786
Uh, I do-- I-I-I don't think
I can do this.
373
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,266
I'm scared.
I need a minute to think.
374
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,442
Okay. Okay. Listen, um,
can you just give us a moment?
375
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,098
[ Clears throat ]
376
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:27,796
Sand 'o' My Heart,
377
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,277
if I've learned anything
in these last two days --
378
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,105
hang on --
379
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:35,499
[ Knee cracks ][ Groans ]
380
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:36,892
...it's not to think
at all.
381
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,415
[ Laughs ]
382
00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:41,418
And that's why
I'm asking you
383
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,420
if you'll marry me again.
384
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:47,294
Uh, I-I can't do this.
I --
385
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,600
Well, marriage
or skydiving?
386
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:50,993
Well, uh, either.
387
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,342
Oh. Well, either?
388
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:53,691
So, you could do one?
389
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,519
No, no, no.
390
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,217
I-I mean both.
391
00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:02,135
Uh, oh, Dave,
I have had a wonderful time,
392
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:04,441
but this is so fast.
393
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:05,660
It --
Oh. [ Sighs ]
394
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,315
Well, I love you, babe,
395
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,012
with my entire
pig-valve heart.
396
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,365
And for me,
it ain't fast enough.
397
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,889
I hope
I see you in the tube.
398
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,108
Come on!
399
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,415
Nooooooooo!Aaaah!
400
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:23,112
[ Thud ]We haven't
turned on the jet!
401
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:24,592
[ Air whooshing, body thudding ][ Screams ]
402
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,333
Ooh! Ohh!
403
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,117
Aah! Aah!
404
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:33,035
Just 24 hours
in this house
405
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:34,776
has completely corrupted
our kid.
406
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,344
Yeah, yourkid.
407
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,999
Who you dumped here because
you're too emotionally stunted
408
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:42,001
to deal with the fact
that she's growing up.
409
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,611
I'memotionally stunted?
410
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:44,742
How many jean jackets
do you own?
411
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:48,007
[ Gasps ]
412
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:51,401
Okay, first of all,
how dare you?
413
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,795
[ Gasps ]
Marta, my baby!
414
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,276
Oh, thank goodness
you're alive.
415
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,843
You smell like
this house.
416
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,933
Hey, Mom. Hi, Dad.
417
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,935
Where's this older guy?
I'm gonna kill him.
418
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,807
What?
I wasn't with a guy.
419
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:06,982
I was with
the glee club.
420
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:10,159
Glee club?
You can sing?
421
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:11,943
Oh.
422
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,423
I didn't know you were
interested in show business.
423
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:16,252
You've never once asked me
what I'm interested in.
424
00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:17,601
You just tell me
what to do.
425
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:19,168
Sorry I don't want you
to get murdered.
426
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:24,043
So, why did Emily say
you were with an older guy?
427
00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:26,262
Maybe because I told her we were
performing at a nursing home?
428
00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,484
Glee club volunteers there
every month,
429
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:32,312
but I knew you'd never
let me go.
430
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,401
Well, you know, nursing homes
have a lot of diseases.
431
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:39,319
Otherwise,
they'd just be homes.
432
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,103
So, while we were
panicking,
433
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,410
she was doing jazz hands.
434
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,281
Why were you panicking?
435
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,502
Because I started to see
your parents' point of view.
436
00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,504
And we don't
have a teenager.
437
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,201
Uh, actually, I should
get credit for that.
438
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,682
I said that to her
this morning.
439
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:56,945
It was really scary
not knowing where you were.
440
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,208
But I should have
trusted you.
441
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,080
We all should have
trusted you.
442
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,561
I'm sorry.
443
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,868
Marta, I'm about to say
444
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,826
the hardest thing
that I have ever said.
445
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,307
If you come home,
446
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,135
we can talk about
glee club.
447
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,008
I missed you guys
so much.
448
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,533
Oh.
449
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:22,057
I haven't had a real dinner
in two days,
450
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,798
their shower doesn't drain,
and I'm covered in bug bites.
451
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:27,018
Oh,
I missed you, too.
452
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,760
No!
I don't want her to go!
453
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,588
Aw. Come on, Em.
454
00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:32,328
Come help me pack,
and I'll teach you
"Big Spender."
455
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:35,940
[ Sighs ]
456
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,638
Marta's a great kid.
457
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:40,293
I know.
458
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:42,991
So...
459
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,079
you were right.
460
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,559
I was wrong.
461
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:46,951
Sorry.
462
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,693
Huh?
463
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,391
15-year-olds
are terrifying.
464
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:53,915
I get why
you're so protective now.
465
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:57,353
Jo, I've been protecting her
from singing to old people.
466
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,271
Youwere right.
Iwas wrong.
467
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:05,100
No, no, look, it's hard
to let go of your baby,
468
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,189
even when you trust them.
469
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:08,495
You were right.
470
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:11,715
Mm, trust means
you should let go.
471
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:16,067
You were right.
472
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:18,505
Dude, your whole life,
you've wanted to be right.
473
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,507
Just be right.
474
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:22,900
And the one time you finally
tell me I'm right, you're wrong.
475
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,772
Right, I'm wrong.
476
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,643
Wrong. You'reright.
I'm wrong.
477
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,341
Maybe we're both right.
478
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:31,561
Jo, that is
literally impossible.
479
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:34,521
[ Chuckles ]
480
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:36,000
Thank you so much for
everything, Tía Jo.
481
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,742
Of course.
482
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:41,441
And, hey, I know I probably
shouldn't say this again,
483
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:44,748
but we're here
if you ever need us.
484
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,359
But, like, you know, don't take
us up on that, obviously.
485
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:47,621
Mm.[ Door opens ]
486
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:48,883
-Night, guys.
-Bye.
487
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:50,319
-Bye.
-Bye.
488
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:52,191
[ Sighs ]
489
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,760
Well, the problem we created
is solved.
490
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,545
Alright, young lady.
491
00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,547
You are going to bed.
492
00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:02,375
Never!
493
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:04,986
Aah! Aah!
494
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:12,559
Okay, wait a minute.
He lived?
495
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:15,910
Yes, but he is in agony
over the breakup.
496
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:16,911
Of his skeleton?
497
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,608
[ Chuckles ]
498
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:22,090
No, Bill, with me.
[ Sighs ]
499
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:27,530
My reunion with Dave was like
a piece of Italian cinema --
500
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:30,707
erotically supercharged,
but really hard to follow.
501
00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,102
But it made me realize
502
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:37,714
that I don't want to
repeat my past mistakes.
503
00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:39,455
I want to make new ones.
504
00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:41,501
That's great, Mom.
505
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:42,719
Besides,
I don't want to tell you
506
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,679
what that motorcycle did
to my thighs.
507
00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:49,030
Okay, well, why did you just
kind of tell me, then?
508
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:51,162
Well, now that the cat's
out of the bag --
509
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:52,599
chafed to oblivion!
510
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,514
Ohh.
511
00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:56,646
Well,
good night, honey.
512
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,344
[ Groans ]
513
00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:03,479
[ Grunting ]
514
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