All language subtitles for Undercover.Brother.2.2019.720p.BluRay.x264-x0r

UNDERCOVER BROTHER: In 2003,
the BROTHERHOOD,
a secret spy agency,

stopped The Man
and his racist organization

from bringing down
black America.

After blowing up
The Man's headquarters
and sending him into hiding,

I returned to the hood
for some hard-earned R and R.
And R and B.

That's me, Undercover Brother.

Super fly, super spy
and proud agent
of the BROTHERHOOD,

forever ready to kick ass
in pursuit of social justice.

And, oh...
WOMAN: Welcome home, brother.

...other things. Oh, yes.

Undercover Brother

There's a man
Got a low-down evil plan

For keeping
The brothers down...

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Yes, it was good to be back...

And even better to be me.

Hey there, little man.

Oh, uh...

Oh!
(GRUNTS)

Thank you.

Here.

Undercover Brother.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Bank's open.

My man.

On the case
Everywhere and anyplace

Yeah, the BROTHERHOOD has got
Each other's back

A smart brother knows
The facts

Chief's got the deal

Conspiracy brothers
Keeping it real

Even Lionel gets
In the act

Sistah Girl is fine

She's got the moves
To prove it

Show ya how to do it...

Say, brother, let's stop this.
I'm running late.

I hear that, brother.
Speaking of brothers...

Have you seen my brother,
brother?

You mean Lionel?
Yeah, he works for me now

cutting bitches
down on 116th.

(PANTING)
Say what?

Oh geez... Yeah, he been
cutting bitches for
six months now.

Lady, Marsellus said
I gotta cut you

and that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.

(SINGING) Marsellus said
I gotta cut...

(DOG BARKS)

You, and that's

What I'm gonna do

Whoo!

Looking fly, lady.

Oh yeah,
that's fresh right there.

That... that's fly, right?

Undercover Brother

Dog grooming?

You couldn't find
a more masculine job
than dog grooming?

Look, I tried, okay?

But nobody
would hire me because
of my stupid record.

I'm the playa

Ooh
With the ladies

You know they hate
To love me

(BOTH SHUDDER)

I mean, I thought Hammer pants
was really making a comeback.
You was wrong.

Lionel,
you're a grown man now.

You can't be
spending your time
being a dog fluffer.

Word.

Yo. I was thinking
I could join you,

crime fighting, kicking ass
down at the BROTHERHOOD!
Hey, hey. Be cool.

It's a secret organization.

Plus, you have to have
a particular set of skills.

(LAUGHS) Bro, bro.

I got mad skills.
Check this out.

(BEATBOXING)

Hey, hey, hey. I ain't talking
about that beatboxing.

Okay, listen, I can kiss
a woman temporarily stupid.

Uh-huh.
And I can go undercover
just like you. Watch.

Top of the morning to you.
Do you read the words that are
coming out of my mouth?

Stop that. Stop it.

I'm talking about skills
that are more subtle.

Dig me?
Yeah, yeah. Subtle. Yeah.

It's about your style,
the way you carry yourself.
Okay.

You got to be...cool.

Man, you don't even know
what cool is.

Watch this.
Ah, whatcha know 'bout this?

Whatcha know 'bout this?

I'm a petal.
I'm a black puppet.

Robot. Work it.

See, man, that's cool, man,
that's super cool!

That's what the agency needs!
Listen, I got this, bro.

You know,
maybe some of this
is my fault.

Spending all them
years abroad,
fighting evil.

Maybe I neglected you.

And after
Mom and Dad passed...

Mom and Dad
live in Palm Springs.

You know what I mean.
No, I don't.

Maybe it's time
I trained you.

Yo, word?

Get down on it

Get down on it

Get down on it

Get down on it

Come on and
Get down on it

Get down on it

Get down on it

Get down on it

I can't get it out.
It's not coming out.

Y'all gonna leave me now?

Let's get
out of here and...

Tell me
Now how you gonna do it

If you really don't
Wanna dance

By standing on the wall

Get off me, sucka!

Get down on it

Come on and
Get down on it

If you really want it
Get down on it

You gotta feel it
Get down on it

Get down on it
Get down on it...

Your fly.
(CHUCKLES)
Thank you, brother.

No, your fly is open.

(ZIPS)
(EXCLAIMS)

(GROANS)

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Undercover Brother.

Oh, hi, Chief.

Yeah, Chief.

I'm sorry, Chief.
Yeah, I got it, Chief.

Bye, Chief.
(PHONE BEEPS)

That was the Chief

with a lead
on The Man's new hideout.

Vienna, Austria.
Just as I suspected.

Oh, word.

Yo, man,
our first mission together.

Yo, when do we leave?
Lionel...

the BROTHERHOOD is on
the frontline on the fight
for civil rights

up against
the world's greatest
forces of evil.

This ain't no middle school
dance-off.

(MOUTHING)

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Yes, The Man.

He was one cold mother.

And like herpes,
he always came back.

Once we defeat the blacks...

We'll go after
the other undesirables.

Immigrants, feminists...

homosexuals.

Daddy!

Daddy!
(LAUGHING) Oh, Manson.

How many times have I told you
not to interrupt your father
while he is scheming?

Sorry. I just wanted to ask...

What?
Ice dancing costume.

Chiffon?
(GRUNTS)

Or taffeta?
(CHUCKLES) I think
they're both very nice.

Thanks, Daddy!

Oh, he's quite a boy.

He's gonna make
a fine racist one day.

Hmm... Well, where was I?

Uh, you were talking
about going after
the homosexuals.

Oh, yes.
They're worse than the blacks.

Almost.

Well, it's time for my massage

mit happy ending.

I will see you all later
at dinner.
White tie, of course.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
The Man was masterminding
his latest masterplan,

to spread evil everywhere,
which meant one thing.

(SHIVERS)
It was time for a good
old-fashioned beat down,

Undercover Brother style.

Solid.

And after dinner,
a classic black
and white movie.

With the black turned off,
of course.

Gentlemen, there's some
hot chocolate there.
Help yourselves.

Freeze, you suckers!

Undercover Brother?

How did you find me?
Wasn't hard.

Vienna has everything
the conquer-happy white man
loves the most.

Skiing, mountain climbing,
those little tiny sausages.

You're forgetting
the best thing of all.

None of you people are here!

(LAUGHS)

Until now.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
I had The Man right where
I wanted him.

Until...
(DOOR OPENS)

Make that a double! (GROANS)

Goddamn it Lionel,
what the hell are
you doing here?

I'm here to help you.
That's what you call it?

Yeah, this is helping.
Helping me? No, no!

Your ass is supposed
to back helping at the hood.
What did I tell you?

What did...
Hold on.

Is that hot chocolate I smell?

It is hot chocolate I smell,
man.

Mmm-mmm.

Ugh! People, that's wrong.
That was white chocolate.

Wait, hold up.

Is this your spot?

Man, this is nice!

The Man.
Mmm-hmm?

Allow me to introduce
my brother.

Yes, yes, you're all brothers
from another mother...

No, no, man, I'm talking about
the same uterus here.

He's my actual brother.

This is nasty...
(GUN COCKS)

THE MAN: Surprise.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Everything was funked up.

But a super fly,
super spy always
comes prepared.

Hyah!
Oh!

Now, can I get back
to saving the world?

Kill them!

(GROANS)

Hyah!

Take that, sucker!

(LAUGHS) Oh!

(GRUNTING)

UNDERCOVER BROTHER: Lionel!

(WHISTLING)

(GRUNTING)

Meeting adjourned.
Slow your roll, bro.

Leave the catch phrases
to the professionals.

We got a leg up
on them suckers.

Yeah.

Let's get The Man.
Yeah.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
The Man could run...

but it looks like
he could hide even better.

LIONEL: Man, where'd he go?

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

Split!

(SCREAMING)

Quick, hold your breath!

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Sixteen long years passed.

Black America was dealing
with some ups

and some downs.

It was up to the new agents
of the BROTHERHOOD
to monitor it all.

Chief Honey?
Yes?

On the screen.

CHIEF HONEY:
Street fights in Seattle,
unrest in Vermont.

What is going on
with white people?

See, it's times like this

when we really miss
Undercover Brother the most.

What's going on now?

This just came in.
What?

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Yes, we'd been frozen
all those years,

like a couple of veal cutlets
forgotten in the back
of the freezer.

I'm here for
Undercover Brother.
How is he?

Oh, ja.
Still in the coma,
I am afraid.

Could be, weeks, months...

uh, seasons, fiscal quarters,
leap years.

Okay.
Actually it is a miracle
they both survive.

Both?

(YODELING)

(SIGHS)

What's up, my man?

Mmm...

Hello, mama.

Yo, where am I?

Schladming Hospital, Austria.

You were buried
in the avalanche.

Yo, what day is it?
February 9th.

I was buried
for an entire week?

2019.

An entire week
and 16 years?

Ja, it was only due
to global warming
that we found you.

Right on, global warming.

Do you remember anything
that happened?

Yeah, um, I was on a mission
with my brother.

So Undercover Brother
is your brother?

We were
on the trails of The Man
and we had him captured.

Yo...

Where's my brother?

(LIONEL SOBBING) Why?

(SOBS)

Gah!
At least the fro's still good.

Where's The Man?

Well, we believe he fled

and went back to America
after the avalanche.

Look...

You gotta let me
into the BROTHERHOOD,
all right?

I gotta be the one
to avenge my brother.

What qualifications
do you have?

I held up two years
of karate as a kid

and I held up
my own dance crew.

Not gonna work.
And I can kiss a woman
temporarily stupid.

I would love to see you
do that.

(CRASHING)
Oh, yeah.

Whoa...
(CLEARS THROAT)

Welcome to the BROTHERHOOD.

CHIEF HONEY: No, Snoop,
you can't borrow my car.

DOCTOR: Fräulein!

Fräulein...

I will avenge you...

my brother.

Oh, no.
(THUDS)

Oh, man. Barber shop?

(CHUCKLES) I guess
I could use a little trim.

The usual.
Couldn't we all,
my brother?

(DEVICE BEEPS)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

I love you, Oprah.

I love you, Madonna.

I love you, oh, Lord.

(SCREAMING)

(PANTING)

It's the water, I swear.
Okay.

I swear.
That's fine. Uh-huh.

You gonna leave me like this?

Hey, how you doing?

You looking fine.

Welcome back.

LIONEL: Damn...
UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Some crazy-ass shit

was about to rain down,

and I hope my bro
brought his umbrella.

Damn. This is crazy.
Okay.

What?

Yo, you serious?

Undercover Brother's brother,
meet Harvard Brother.

(SPEAKING LATIN)

Meet Sarcastic Brother.

Biggie or Tupac?
Biggie!

Well... well, Pac.
I don't trust him,
he work for the feds.

Get him outta here.

Hmm?

This is Unattainable Sistah.

Don't even think about it.

And lastly,
meet Militant Brother.

Power to the people,

my brother in the revolution.

Um, can I rap to you
for a second, Chief?
Yes, yes.

Have you noticed that
that's a white dude

and he heavily armed?

Militant Brother identifies
with being African-American.

Okay. And I identify
as Denzel Washington
but that don't make it so.

You done?
A lot has happened
since you were frozen.

Did you know America twice
elected a black man,
Barack Obama, president?

Next thing you gonna tell me
Michael Jackson's
the vice president,

Prince is secretary of state
and Whitney Houston's
his first lady, right?

Uh, no. Actually, Michael,
Whitney, and Prince are all...

dead.

What?

Are all dead.

So, you mean to tell me
that the president

of the United
States of America

is a black dude
named Barack Obama?

Sadly, that time has passed.

The current president
is Donald Trump.

Y'all messing with me, right?
Okay, enough. Enough.

Covert operations show
a plot underway
to subvert American democracy.

The Man.

We don't know. Haven't heard
from him in two years.

You are one of the few
that has seen his face,

so we're counting on you
to help us find him.

This phone is equipped
with text encryption
and a secure line.

This is a phone?
This is dope!

Yo, what about Tetris?

Man, gonna catch
an eye jammy.
Okay.

Go sell your bean pies.

Thank you.

Listen, you will be
notified within 24 hours
of your mission.

Until then, lay low.

Avoid all attention.

LIONEL: Avoid all attention.

I got this, Chief, a'ight?

'Cause I'm going undercover.

Ah! 'Bout to save my brother.
Ah, ah.

Going undercover, ah, ah.

'Bout to save my brother.
Oh, yeah.

Really? (SCOFFS)

Great hire, Chief.

I know.

Everybody back to work!

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Lionel returned to the hood,
only to discover

much had changed
in the last 16 years.

He was a stranger
in an even stranger land.

What happened to the hood?

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Gone were the brothers
and sisters,

and a lame-ass coffee house
called Resistance Brews

stood in the place
of the funk-alicious
Club Hood.

Replaced by millennials,
post-millennials,

and worst of all, hipsters.

(LAUGHING)

Something funny?

No, no offense,
non-brother,

but I ain't never seen
no clothes like this before,
and what's up with the hairdo?

(LAUGHS) Listen,
I'ma need a moment okay?

I'ma need a moment,
I'ma need a moment.

Nope, I'ma still need
more time.

Hey, man, let me
ask you something.

What you feeding that thing?

Whatever, dude.

Mmm, I see the hood
may have gone,

but they still got
a few brick houses
up in here! Mmm!

BOTH: What did you say?
Oh, nothing,
I was just talking...

You were just objectifying
a woman based on her looks.

While equating her
with a piece of property?

Whoa, I don't know what
y'all two talking about.

Oh, you didn't mean
to diminish her self-worth
and intellect?

By suggesting she was
something you could just buy,

move into
and renovate to your liking?

I didn't say
nothing like that...

So she fits your cisnormative
criteria of beauty,
is that it?

As if all women were just
put on display
for your personal oppression.

Your personal oppression.

Oh, mama.
(SCOFFS)

And now you impose
the exploitative role
of child-bearer on her?

Yes, why "Oh, mama," and not
"Oh, industrial engineer,"

or "Oh, president
of the United States"?
You are a pig.

Wait, wait, wait.
Why is it okay to call me...
Uh-uh!

Don't mansplain to us.

Is that all
we are to you?

Pieces of meat
to be lectured?

Just 'cause we choose
to wear short shorts...

And occasionally shake
our asses like this.

Mmm...
Look at him.

Slack-jawed as if
we were nothing more than

incredibly hot,
sex objects here for his
mind-blowing pleasure.

(STAMMERS) I swear,
I mean no disrespect.

Then why are you
still staring?

I can't seem
to move my head!

Make 'em stop!
Make 'em stop!

I'm just glad
there's somebody here

to capture
your soul-crushing sexism.

(SOFTLY)
Soul-crushing.

Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Disgusting sexist pig.

Eight million views
on YouTube.

Chief, for the 800th time
I am incredibly sorry.

Stop.
Look, guys,

you have to believe me,
all right? I was set up!

Right. Someone just set up
an intricate spy operation
just to show that you a perv.

Hey man, look.
I ain't no perv, a'ight?

I just like looking
at fine booty.

MILITANT BROTHER: I feel you,
my brother. Respect.
Hmm?

Don't do that.
Look, guys,

when did everybody
get all sensitive anyway?

And what is that
supposed to mean?

Listen, reports of similar
incidents are up 600%
in Caucasian communities.

Chief, if most of these
incidents involve whites,

why is the BROTHERHOOD
getting involved?

Experience has shown
that whatever happens
to our white brethren

something worse
is gonna happen to us.

Plus, we always
will be blamed
in the long run.

It's like you're speaking
to my heart right now.

(COMPUTER BEEPS)
Wait, hold on.

There was an unverified...

sighting of The Man
at a local redneck bar.

What would he be doing there?
What would The Man be doing
at a country and western bar?

I don't know, trying to have
sex with his sister?

Let's go there
and kill his ass!

Count me in, brother!
(COCKS WEAPON)

Locked and loaded!
Chill!

Calm down.
Should we make contact?

I'll make contact,
all right.

He is the only one of us
who's seen The Man in person,
Chief.

Mmm-hmm.
He's got a point.

Fine.

Once you confirm that
that is The Man,
you withdraw

and we will
take it from there.

Correct?
Watch your dumb ass.

What he said.

Everybody, out of
my office, please.
Now.

Especially you.
Goodbye.

How big was
that ass, though?
Bye.

Comm-watch.
Gives you instant access to
all BROTHERHOOD intelligence.

Cool. Hey yo,

can it make me smarter?
Hell, no.

You will also need
a combination camera
and microphone.

I've engineered
a few options here.

Yo, wait, wait. This is
a camera and a microphone?
Sure is, brother.

Tight. Hey, wait, wait.

What about these?
Yep, those are, too.
Now, listen up.

Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
What about this?

That's a tape dispenser.

What about...
It's just a damn pencil
sharpener! Put it down!

Those are
all desk-related items.

The tech stuff is right here
in the middle. Okay?

You got the magnetic spy cam,
you got the Bluetooth,

the Kiss-Me-I'm-Irish
lapel pin...

What about this right here?
Put that down!

(GUNSHOTS)
(SCREAMING)

MAN: You all right?

I think I'm just gonna
take the pen and the watch
and just...

Ah! Get...

I won't let you down, brother.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Well, I sure as hell hope not.

Not bad.
Captures my inner funk.

Undercover Brother!
Man, you back?

Well, not exactly.

Damn!

Dream on, brother.

'Cause this ain't
never happening.

Oh I knew it, man. You dead.
You a ghost, ain't you?

No, man, I'm not a ghost.
I'm still in a coma
in Austria.

Wait, then how the hell
did she just walk...
Look, just go with it, okay?

Okay. All right.
All right?

Think of me
as your own personal
Obi-Wan Kenobi, you dig?

But he was a ghost, too,
when he appeared.
Remember when we watched it?

It was Yoda and all them...
Damn it, Lionel. Shut up
and listen, will you?

Look. I came to tell you,
you can do this.

I believe in you.

Yo, you really think so?

Yeah.
Man, thanks, bro.
But, like...

Honestly, man, I don't even
know where to start.

Think of junk in the trunk.

You mean
Unattainable Sistah's booty?

No, man, I'm talking about
the trunk on my Cadillac,
not...

Even though she does have
some packin' for the smackin'.

Look, man, get your head out
of the gutter and get on this.
Okay.

All right? Cadillac trunk.
All right.

Dig it?
Trunk. Cadillac. Dig it.

Bro?

Hey, what's up, man?
What's going on? Brotherhood.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
My beloved Cadillac.

Me and her
had some sweet rides.

Man, if those whitewalls
could talk.

LIONEL: Got you.

Sweet.

(SLOW RIDE
BY FOGHAT PLAYING)

Slow ride

Take it easy

Slow ride

Take it easy

Slow ride

Take it easy

Slow ride

Take it easy...

(CLEARS THROAT)
Testing, testing.

That's a cool
disguise.

If you wanna look like
a zombie Wyatt Earp.

Beer, partner.

Thank you.
Bring me another.

BARMAN:
You've had enough, old geezer.

Not enough to take crap
from an inbred mick bar jockey
like you.

I said bring me another.

Kill him!

(ECHOING) Kill him!

(STATIC)
Sheesh.

I could shoot the screen
if you want.
No.

BARMAN: I said get out.

We don't serve assholes
like you.

What, you just hire them?

That's it!

It's from Undercover Brother's
brother.

"Gurk eep gak"?

Is that a text
abbreviation?

That I don't already know?

Are you f'ing k'ing me?

An encryption code?

That's a butt text!

I send 'em
all the time.

The Chief told me to withdraw.

But I'm gonna stay
and watch this.

(CHUCKLING)

Come on!

Cheers.
BARMAN: Uno, dos, tres.

Mazel tov.

(GRUNTING)
(LIONEL LAUGHS)

Damn.

THE MAN: Help!

My teeth!

Mmm-kay.
Oh, I got you. Hey!

Don't you think
he had enough?

Why don't you mind
your own business,
partner?

Before we kick
the cow shit
out of you next.

Okay, that's funny. Okay.

(CLEARS THROAT)
(WHIMPERS)

(MUSIC PLAYS)

LIONEL: Get funky, eh.

Too funky for myself, uh.

Hey, hey! (GROANS)

You good?
Come on, let's go.

My teeth.
Your teeth?

Okay. Let's roll,
my white brother.

THE MAN: (GROANING)
Thanks for saving me, cowboy.

Don't mention it.

It would have been nice
if you had stepped in

before they busted
all my ribs.

Well, I thought you boys were
just jostling around.

You know how us white guys do.

(GROANS)

Oh, the... The hovel?

Oh, okay, yeah.

God, smells like...
(SNIFFS)

Very interesting.

Brenda! I'm home!
Brenda?

Jesus.
Nice to meet you, Brenda.

That's my clean pair.

Nice, uh, nice hovel.
It's very...

very roomy.

Yeah, I try. I try.

You know, not to brag,
but I was once the head
of a secret organization

that ran the world.

I was known as "The Man."

(LAUGHS)

Now, I've heard rumors,

but I didn't know
you actually existed.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah? Yeah?

Oh, yeah. Yeah!
Oh, yeah? Oh-ho.

I was at my peak.
Yeah, I'd even...

I'd even defeated
my arch nemesis.

Undercover Brother.

(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, I saw
that black bastard

and his even blacker brother
buried under a mountain

of lily-white snow.
(LAUGHS)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS)
Shut up!

My downfall started
with the elec...

the election
of President Obama.
Right.

The whole country...
It changed overnight.

And sexual harassment
wasn't even allowed anymore!

(CRIES)

Our plot to control
the darkly-hued

by planting mind-control drugs
in fried chicken failed.

But I have an even more
sophisticated plan.

Mind control through...

menthol cigarettes
and orange soda! Ha!

It was my greatest plan.

But my son,
he had other plans.

Greetings, all.

Manson,
how many times
have I told you

you cannot
interrupt your father
when he's working?

Oh, it's no longer
your work, Daddy.

I'm terminated?

This is my secret racist
organization.

Not since you incorporated
for tax purposes.

But I control
the most shares!

Not since Mommy gave me
her proxy.

I should never have
divorced that woman.

I should have had that
screeching harpy
killed instead!

How could you do this
to your own father?

You only care about
what divides us,

when all that really matters
is the inevitable progressive
arc of history.

My own organization became
"diversity this,"
"multi-culturalism that."

Oh, dear God,
the boy's gone
full commie.

Oh, I'm sorry, son.

Just shoot him.
Will you shoot him?

MAN: All right, with pleasure.

Okay, uh...

All right,
I get that I'm gonna die

but can my executioner
at least be white?

Just feel a little more
comfortable with that.

Whoa, no offense,
but my killer
should be a man.

You know, death is
humiliating enough

without it coming
at the hands
of une femme.

Let this be
my second-to-last request.

You take the fun
out of everything.

If all you're going
to do is complain,
I won't even have you killed.

Wait, I...
Just go!

Go, Daddy! Go!

(SCOFFS)

My own son.

A scheming,
treacherous backstabber.

At least you're not gay.

LIONEL: It's a damn shame.

But that doesn't explain
how you became

such a urine-soaked,
doll-humping,
scab-infested asshole.

Thanks for noticing.
You're a very
compassionate man.

What's Manson
and the organization
up to now?

I dunno, something about

creating a virus
that will trigger the collapse
of Western civilization

and lead to my son's ascension
as leader of the unfree world.

I don't know,
we don't really talk anymore.

Yeah, you want
another shot, man?

Oh, no, I'm fine, honestly,
but uh...

you're definitely gonna
need it.
(MUMBLES)

Because I have
a surprise for you!

UNDERCOVER BROTHER: Solid.

A negro!

Yo, that's it?
A negro?

Don't you recognize me?

Oh, you all look alike to me.

I'm Undercover Brother's
brother.

Oh, that's impossible!
I saw you both die.

Well, you saw wrong.

(SIGHS) Oh...

And I told you my life story.

You see? This is why
I don't trust ni...

(GRUNTS)

Reflex.

It's been an hour
since he sent
that unreadable text.

Send me in, Chief!

I'll get in there thick
as the oppression
we experience

as African-Americans
every day.

CHIEF HONEY:
No! Let me see that phone.

Burn, baby, burn.

Any last words?
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Ugh. Chief, this is not
a good time right now!

You sent us a text,
and we couldn't even read it.

I've been trying
to tell y'all, my thumbs
are too big for the keypad.

You know what they say about
men with big thumbs.

Look, I already
captured The Man
and I interrogated him.

What?
Mmm-hmm. And he also told me
that his son, Manson,

has taken over
the organization

and using some virus
to end Western civilization.

Did you say, "the end
of Western civilization"?
Yes.

Okay.
This is what you need to do.

Boy, you need
to find that virus

and you need to get
The Man to help you.

Well, he's not entirely
cooperative right now.

Figure it out.

Get up, The Man.

What's going on?
We're going to catch a virus.

Hookers.

Not that type of virus.

Look, you gonna help me
find your son, Manson,

and figure out
what he's planning to do
to end Western civilization.

Oh, that.
Why would I help you?

Because it's the right thing
to do!
You gotta do better than that.

Okay, how about take revenge
on your son's betrayal

and me not using your skull
as a personal porta potty.

Sold.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Back in Austria, I was just
coming out of my coma.

Certain parts of me waking up
before others,

thanks to one
fine looking fräulein.

Oh.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.

(CLEARS THROAT) While at home,
Lionel was forced
to team up with The Man

to uncover
Manson's evil scheme.

THE MAN: This is it.
Our secret weapons lab.

Whoa... Damn it.

Man, we're too late.

Your son is already using his
new fronts for his operations.

Oh, I have missed this place.

You know, we were
the first evil organization

to have our own
bio-weapons lab.

The demented jackals
that raised you must have
been so proud.

Oh yes, they were.
They were.

"Woke"?
Woke.

That is the most
dangerous drug.

It changes you.
Really? Show me.

(SCOFFS)
You expect me to take that?
It could kill me.

Then you'll save me
the trouble.

Now, take it.

(MUTTERING)

Not gonna... Give it to me.

(EXHALES)
You good?
How do you feel?

I'm feeling good.

Oh...

Oh, I'm starting to care.

About hoop earrings,
cultural appropriation,

endangered sea turtles.

Oh...

Now I can sense that
my hatred for black people
is diminishing.

Come on,
let me give you a big hug!
Hell, no.

Yeah.
Don't touch me.

Black lives matter!

Black lives matter!

Hands up, don't shoot!
What the hell?

Dang, Woke really works.

Attica! Attica! Attica!

Yo, I'm gonna have to take me
a shot of this.

(COUGHING)

(SINGING)
Down by the riverside

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Flying high on Woke,

Lionel and The Man booked
a penthouse suite

at the finest hotel in town.

Lionel using
his Brotherhood
expense account,

which is how
the two were tracked down.

I feel it.
Looking fly, my man.

Back at ya, my ni...

Reflex.

(LAUGHING)

Get down! Get down.

BOTH: (MOCKINGLY)
Get down, get down.

Stop it. Stop.
Stop it.

Undercover Brother's brother,
we've been searching for you
for days.

Tell me, what's going on?

Girl, nothing much.

Just chilling with my man,
The Man, over here.

Oh, your man, The Man.

This white supremacist
that has held down your people
for decades?

Oh, you are too kind.

Help me, I'm drowning...
I got you, I got you.

...in a sea of chocolate.
I'll save you, I got you!

(BOTH BABBLING UNINTELLIGIBLY)

Are you high?
Me?

Him?
High?

High?
Mmm-hmm.

Yeah.
Baby, I'm woke.

Woke!
That's right.

Yeah. He's woke.

Here, try it
and you'll understand.

Drink.

BOTH: Drink it. Drink it.

THE MAN:
Swallow it, swallow it,
swallow it.

(SINGING) I'm gonna lay down
My burdens

Down by the riverside

Down by
Down by the riverside

Down by
Down by the riverside

I'm gonna lay down
My burdens

Down by the riverside

To study war no more

Yeah! Shake that racist,
white moneymaker.

Get low, get low.

Hey, I don't get it, man.

What's so bad about a virus
that make everybody woke,
anyway?

Well, it's what comes
afterwards.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Yes, while those on Woke

started out bighearted
and caring...

(GRUNTS) I feel your
heteronormative tone...

They soon turn petty,
hyper-sensitive
and ultra-judgmental.

I feel that
your virulent feminism...

Spending their time arguing
about insignificant bullshit.

...oppressing men of color.

Hey! Get a room! Get a room!

Get a room! Get a room!

LIONEL: Yo...

Oh, man, my head hurts.
How long have
we been arguing?

Three days.

And that was just
after one dose.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Oh, oh wait.

Excuse me, it's...

Yo, Brenda!

(GROANING)

Where you at?

One dose of Woke
is like being

socially conscious times
a thousand.

Turning normal liberalism
into ultra-hyper-sensitivity.

But what's in it for Manson?

Mmm... Woke is wack.

(HIGH-PITCHED GIGGLE)

(ALL LAUGHING)

You gotta drink it,
if you wanna think it!

(LAUGHS)

Pour one out for Whitney.

We have nothing to lose...
but our minds!

"White King Kong
ain't got shit on me!"

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Come on guys,
that's Training Day.

(FORCED LAUGHTER)

Manson.
(GUNSHOTS)

(SCREAMING)

I'll call the drywall guy.

I have some news.

Not bad news, is it?
I really can't handle
bad news right now.

Mmm... Yeah, well.

Daddy?
Yeah.

With a black man?

That's impossible.

I know. He is so racist.

It may mean the BROTHERHOOD
is on our trail.

What is wrong
with those people?

I don't know.
Why can't they just trust me
to know what's best for them?

You know what?

Everybody out!

Party's over!
I need some me time! Me! Me!

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Manson was behind it all.

Being amazing is so lonely.

Running a nationwide Woke
distribution system.

Teach me to love again.

And now the fool was strung
out on Woke himself.

The next step is figuring out
where Manson is manufacturing
the Woke.

Undercover Brother's brother,

this could mean the end
of America as we know it.

(SIGHS) Look.
Whenever I'm feeling lost,

I always think
to myself WWUBDMF.

What's that?
What Would Undercover
Brother Do, Mutha...

Shut your mouth.
I'm talking about
Undercover Brother.

Oh. I can dig it.
Dig that, yeah.

Listen, great work with
the interrogation of The Man.

Thanks.
Brought us right to his son.

I think your brother would be
very proud of you.

You asked...
Jesus!

...what would Undercover
Brother do?

I'd launch
a full-scale investigation...

on them titties.

Boy, please, she would never
go for a guy like me.
No, now. No.

Now, you listen to me.

You right, you right.

I ask you,

where is the brotherhood?

What're you talking about?
t's eight blocks south
like always.

I'm not talking about
the BROTHERHOOD,
ass-bucket.

I'm talking
about the brotherhood.

Huh?
Sense of community,

fighting
in this thing together.

Back in the day,
we didn't have much,

but we did have
each other's backs.

Dude, I don't know what
to tell you, man.
The world's more divided now.

Which is why we need to pull
together now more than ever.

I mean, do you got any advice
on finding Manson?

Follow the money.

But, what does that mean,
"follow the money"?

Can you give me more...
Hell if I know.

Saw it in a movie one time.

What movie?
What are you talking about?

I think it was Deep Throat.
Deep Throat?

Dude, this is not helping me
at all! You're not helping.

Well, fine.
Don't follow the money, then.

I don't give a rat's ass.

Damn, can't even get
a little brotherhood
from my own little brother.

I'm out.
That's it?

That's all the advice...
That's all the advice I get?

We've checked every lead.

Manson and his crew
are completely off the grid.

Suggestions.

Got that one hitter quitter.

(INAUDIBLE)

Come on, Chief!

You're stopping me
from being great!

Voilà!

What?
Voilà.

In French it translates
to "there it is," but here
its colloquial meaning...

We know what "voilà" means!

She's asking
what are you
voilà!-ing about?

Oh. I've completed a spectral
analysis of the Woke sample.

One of the elements
I isolated...

is highly unusual.

Migale stercore.

In English.

Ferret shit.

Damn!
Damn, brother.

SARCASTIC BROTHER:
That's disgusting.

But that explains your breath.

So, I drank ferret shit?

Hashtag gross.

Okay, look, y'all need
to calm down, all right?

What we do know is,
whoever's cooking Woke
has a pet ferret.

CHIEF HONEY: Nice.

Oh, come on, Brenda,
don't do me like that.

Albino wino, we need to talk.
Whoa!

Can't a man
and his woman have
a little privacy?

When you were running the lab,
did anybody have a pet ferret?
Pet ferret?

There was a lab tech named
Clifford Wayne.

I think he did have
a pet ferret.

Why do you a...

What? A threesome?

With him?

You disgust me.

MAN BUN:
We're here for our pickup.

Mister Bun.

Manson's lab.

I shouldn't be here.
I'm not a kill guy,

I'm a "get" killed guy.

No, you'll be fine.
Guaranteed.

Hey, hold on, hold on.
I think something's
going down.

MAN BUN: I gotta tell ya,
I am excited to get my hands
on your package.

CLIFFORD:
Let me pull it out for you.

MAN BUN: I love
the sound of that.

Oh, boy, that is much
larger than I anticipated.

Maybe I should get
a closer look.

No, no, we good,
we good.

Time to shoot?
Quiet!

Oh, damn, my Bluetooth.

Goddamn! (FEEDBACK)

Oh, shoot!
Finally!

Yippee-ki-yay, mother suckers!

This is not your baby!

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

MAN: They're shooting!

CHIEF HONEY:
They're scattering! Shoot 'em!

Cover me.

(MILITANT BROTHER SHOUTING)

Harvard Brother?

Don't talk to me, I'm dead.

MILITANT BROTHER: Reload!

(GRUNTS)

MAN: Oh, crap!

(COUGHING)

SARCASTIC BROTHER: My eyes!
What is this?

Emotional tear gas.

It breaks down a person's...

(SOBBING) defense mechanisms.

I use sarcasm to hide
the negative things
I think about you all.

I'm sorry I whispered
so harshly.

It's just that this is
a vital mission
and all y'all f'ed it up.

Group hug?

I'm gonna keep my gun on

'cause I don't trust
none of you mother...

You so fine,
I just wanna
give it to you.

Come give it to me.
I'ma give it to you!

I'ma give it to you!
Pressure points.
Rub my nipple.

Rub my nipple,
rub my nipple.
Yeah, yeah.

(GROANS)

They should've been
back by now.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

I hate waiting!

(GUNSHOTS)

(LAUGHING) Oops! Sorry.

Though I gotta say,
I do feel better.

Weird how that is,
isn't it?

I guess I could find a hobby
like yoga or origami, but...

why mess with something
that's working?

Finally!

I cannot emphasize enough
how much that hat is not
working for me right now.

What? I like it. I thought
it looked militant like
the Black Panthers.

You look like
a French child molester.

(SIGHS LOUDLY)

Now, tell me about the Woke!

Well, I'll tell you,
but you have to promise not
to overreact.

Moi? Overreact?

Mmm.
You think I overreact?

MAN: Oh, God!

Antonio!
Oh!

Yeah, that was a...

a bit of an overreaction,
yes, sir.

That was an accident.

Besides,
nobody liked that guy anyway.

Straw poll, he was annoying,
am I right?

Don't encourage him.
See, they agree with me.

(SCREAMING)
What are you do...

(SIGHING)
Oh, well.

Okay. That one was on me.

But you know what they say,
sometimes to make an omelet,
you have to shoot a few eggs.

Nobody says that.
Anyway, tell me
what happened.

We went to pick up the Woke,
but the BROTHERHOOD
was already there.

The freaking BROTHERHOOD.
Yeah.
The freaking BROTHERHOOD?

How is that possible?
Who messed up?

(SIGHS)
MAN: Don't shoot!

So you failed
to get the Woke?

Yeah. Yeah, and they killed
Clifford, our supplier.

He got killed
in the crossfire.

He's a nice guy,
we should send
his wife a card.

He was killed?
Yeah.

How is that poss...
Holy crap!

This is worse
than I imagined!

(GUNSHOTS)

But, but, but we can fix it!
We can fix it!

We have a crew member
with connections
to a Russian supplier,

that makes an even stronger
strain of Woke.

Stronger?
Yes, sir.

You mean, like, super Woke.

They call it
"Woke As Fuck."

That's what's up.

(GUN CLICKS)

Okay, Manson...

hold it together.

Switching to Woke AF could be
the perfect move.

Look at the vial half full,
not half empty.

Oh, I'm still so angry
right now, I just...

Hey, maybe...
I have to just let off
a little bit of steam.

(GUNSHOTS)
Oh, God! Oh!

Shit.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Poof.

Let's set up that meeting
with that Russian supplier.

Who's the crew member
with the connections?

Toby.
Toby? I'm gonna
need you to wake up.

I'm very sorry for what I did!
Please don't leave us, Toby!

Who was the
connection, Toby?
Was it Putin?

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Why'd you smack yourself?

Just trying to make sure
this is really happening.

Oh, this is really happening.

(MUSIC STARTS AGAIN)

Why? Uh-huh.
I don't know.

Kiss me stupid.

(HUMMING)

Awkward.

Look. We all said things
we regret.

(SOBBING)
I have intimacy issues.

But what's important is that
we move on together.

I concur completely!

Well, then it must be
all right.

If Mr. "I'm Better Than
Everyone Else" concurs.

I act as if I'm no better than
the rest of you

when I know for a fact...

(SOBBING) that I am.

Back off, black
wanna-but-never-will-be.

Join a step team!

I don't step.
(GRUNTS) Obvious.

You don't step!
You're white!

Take it back!
I can't take it back.

Sit down, I got it.
What you mean, sit down?

Why are you getting up
in there?
Why are you getting up in...

Unattainable Sistah,
you ain't that unattainable.

At Harvard!
Why're you wearing a bow tie
and you're not Muslim?

Hashtag you can't,
hashtag you won't,

hashtag you wish!
Hashtag you want this!

I met Al Sharpton at
the airport in Milwaukee
when he was fat.

You can't
talk to me like that!

I went to the BLM march,
by myself, twice!

Hashtag hell, no!
CHIEF HONEY: Excuse me!

Excuse me.

Sorry I'm late,
I was held up
doing some things.

LIONEL: Yeah, me too,
but something completely
different.

Nothing related to...

CHIEF HONEY:
So, last night
was a disaster.

But we still managed
to screw up Manson's
supply chain.

That ain't the only thing got
screwed last night,
now, is it?

UNATTAINABLE SISTAH:
He's right.

We also blew our chances
to arrest Manson's crew.

Something else got blown
last night, too,
now, didn't it?

(COMPUTER BEEPING)
The situation's getting worse.

Reports of liberal
on liberal violence
continue to pour in.

Minneapolis. Marina del Rey.

Wait. I've seen
this map before.

Yeah, it's called
the "United States."

No, fool, I'm talking about
the same points

on this map
I've seen before.

Yo, can you pull up
that viral video of me
and them two girls?

Yeah.

HARVARD BROTHER:
All right, there it is. Yeah.
LIONEL: Pull out,

and tighten on this area
right here. That's it!

The violent outbreaks
match the locations
of the Resistance Brews.

Which means it must be
a front for Manson to use
to distribute the Woke.

We need direct evidence
linking Manson and the
Resistance Brews to the Woke.

Send me inside.
Undercover.

Seem like she already
sent you inside

under some covers,
now, didn't she?

(CHUCKLES)
Shut up, man, please.

Look,
last night was a mistake,

and we're in
a make-or-break case

and we can't put
our personal feelings
ahead of...

Yes, I completely agree.

I told you all
they was doing it!

I feel like I'm watching
Stella Got Her Groove Back 2.

Yeah. But I hate sequels.

I guess she likes
big thumbs, too.

Becoming a hipster
should not be taken lightly.

I've seen way too many
make the change
and never come back.

I don't care. I'm ready.

Make me a hipster.
Fine.

But may God have mercy
on my soul.

Hipster conversion test
number one.

Steak or shamburger?

Steak?
Man, don't mind if I do.

(TASER BUZZES)
Son of a bitch, man!

What was that for?
Wrong choice.

Hipsters love
animals too much
to eat them.

Next question.
Would you like some greens?

What?
Collard greens.
Would you like some?

Greens are considered ghetto,
so, my answer's no?

(BUZZING)
(GROANING)

Failed. Collard greens
have become a hipster staple.

Right along with kale.
What the hell is kale?

Thanks for asking.

Next up. Aretha Franklin or...
All right, I'ma stop you
right there.

Okay? 'Cause that's a trick
question, all right?

Ain't nobody gonna choose crap
over the Queen of Soul.

(BUZZING)

Becoming a hipster's
not about quality.

It's about irony.
Oh, yeah?

Well, I got some irony
for your ass.

(BOTH YELLING)

I hoped it wouldn't come
to this,

but you left me no choice.

(MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, God! Oh, God!

What is this?

La I. Land.
Complete,
undiluted hipster-ism.

Make it stop! Make it stop!

Hipster overload! (EXCLAIMS)
Be strong, brother!

Be strong!

Awesome.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
So, Lionel went undercover
at Resistance Brews

to expose the link
between Manson and the Woke.

Damn, I can't believe
they shut down Club Hood
for this.

How much Maroon 5
can one man take?

Um, wow.
Awesome customer loyalty.
(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, it's like
once people try our brew
they become addicted.

Yeah, I heard this place uses
fair trade coffee so it's kind
of like a way of giving back.

Totally.
Yeah.

Totally. Awesome.

(GIGGLES)
(MAN CLEARS THROAT)

You gonna order or what?

Yeah, I'll have a latte.
Okay.

That'll be $28.

Hey, man, $28
for some damn coffee?

Unless, you don't think
the labors

of the indigenous peoples
of Antigua are worth it.

(CHUCKLES) 'Course not,
I don't think that at all.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
What was your name?

Phoenix.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
As Lionel's training
continued,

I was in a fight of my own.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHS)
Hey.

I just moved my arm.

I just moved my...

And I'm talking.

I'm talking about talking
which I could not do before
but now I can.

Oh.
Hey, Doc.

Your nurse just cured me!

You sack of shit!
That's my wife!

I'm sorry, Doc.

Your wife just cured
my paralysis.

Hey. Be cool, Jack.

I am going to teach you
a lesson

you will not soon forget,
you ni...

Reflex. Later, sucker.

Call me, baby.

Penis.

I've got a latte for Penis.

Is there a Penis
in the house?

Penis! Your...

It's not Penis,
it's Phoenix.

Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm

(EXHALES)

Annoying Ho.

I have one for
the Annoying Ho.

It is Anita Jo.

That outfit,
I don't even know.
Mmm-hmm.

Give me this.
Go. Annoying Ho.

Anita Jo.
Whatever it is.

Yeah, I know!
Really?

Sorry, dude.
Watch where
you're going, idiot.

(KEYPAD BEEPING)

Manson's headquarters
entrance located.

(PHONE BEEPS)

"Hidden camera planted."

(URINATING)

Nasty.

There you are.

Oh, God.

I want an update
on the Woke AF, ASAP!

I'm picking up the shipment
at midnight.

And then bring a case to me.
I gotta get Woke,
you know, AF!

Gotta! Gotta! Gotta!

(FIRES GUN)
Gotta! Gotta! Gotta!

It's all over my pants.
Oh! My mistake.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'll see you tonight
with the Woke AF!

Hey.
Hey.

Sixteen...

nine,

Forty-two...
Should've written it down,
brother.

Damn it, would you
stop doing that?

Always remember, Lionel,
all we got is ourselves.

Not the pigs,
not the government.

Our only route
to justice is just us.

We keep catching hell
and catching hell, which is...
Would you just stop, okay?

'Cause you're not helping
right now, all right?

Look, why don't you
just go back to where
you came from?

Now that's just hurtful.

Besides, I come from you.
I'm a figment
of your imagination.

Wait. This is all in my head,
like this...

Well, I'm more an aftereffect
of that line drive you took
to the head in Little League.

But, yeah.

Now focus.
You can do this.

Who am I kidding?

Seventeen...
Eighty-six, thirty-one, four.

Damn.

Gonna get your ass, Manson.

(KEYPAD BEEPS)
(DOOR UNLOCKS)

(MANSON EXCLAIMING)

Got you, got you, got you.

(GUN COCKS)

(SIGHS)

Double the trouble, baby.

MAN BUN: Oh, boy.

(DOOR SLAMS OPEN)

Daddy?
UNDERCOVER BROTHER: Yes,
it was The Man who set up

this double-double
double-cross
from the very beginning,

disguising himself
as a drunken bum

in order to lure Manson
into a false
sense of security,

then using the BROTHERHOOD
to flush out
his own son's location.

It's pretty complicated,
but just take my word for it.

It's hella clever
and totally makes sense.

Bottom line, hot damn,
it's The Man.

(GUNSHOT)
Drop your weapon!

This was supposed
to be my moment of triumph!

Why do you ruin everything?

I hate you, I hate you!

Tough titties, sucker.
LIONEL: Hey, hey!
Whoa, whoa, man.

I wouldn't drink that
if I were you.
Yes, it's 100% pure.

It's undiluted.
It'll kill you, son!

Don't "son" me.

And I can handle my Woke. See?

Oh, boy.

(GAGGING AND CHOKING)

(GUNSHOTS)
Oh, hell, no!

Wow...

That was sublime.

And you thought
it would kill...

Oh.

My condolences.
Thank you.

My son may have been
a drug-addled homicidal
sociopath...

But at least he wasn't gay.

All right.

It's over, The Man.
You're done.

You know, I might agree
with you except for one thing.

This Woke AF...

I happened to grab
in all the excitement.

Hmm?
Ow, it stings! Ow!

Ow!
That's how you know
it's working.

My eyes...

Agh! Ow!

It's like lava tears.

Excuse me.

I have a racist empire
to rebuild.

Rest in pieces, son.

Everything's beautiful.

I'm beautiful.

Say it loud!
I'm black and I'm proud!

Let me tell you
something, okay?
See, look. I am sexy!

I was sexy back in the day,
and I'm still sexy now.

You know, when you think about
slavery for 400 years?

400 years!
That sounded like a choice!

Die, white devils, die!

Black, and I'm...

(LAUGHING)

What happened?
Take it easy, easy, easy.

Don't try and sit up yet,
just wait.

(GROANS)
You had a real bad trip

but you're coming
out of it good.

That was so intense.
(WINCES)

Sorry.

I was seeing some really bad
hallucinations.

Those all weren't
hallucinations.

What?

You know,
when you think about slavery

for 400 years?
Yo, is that me
at the Capitol Building?

400 years!
Yeah.

Screaming...
Die, white devils, die!

"Racist rant at Capitol."

Forty million views.

Wait, what about The Man?

He got away with the Woke,
and he's taken over all the
Resistance Brews locations.

Announcing Blak Coffee.

At Blak Coffee,

it's all about unity
and community.

Oh, and also making
one badass cup of joe.

And with 200 locations
coming soon,

there'll surely be
a Blak Coffee coming
to a hood near you.

Once you go Blak,
you never go back.

Lionel,
he's targeting our people.

(GROANS)

Hey, hey, what're you doing?

Listen, The Man is flooding
every hood in America
with Woke.

The BROTHERHOOD
has to stop him.

That's what I've been
trying to tell you.

There is no
BROTHERHOOD anymore.

After what happened
at the Capitol,
our backers cut our funding.

Look around.

This is it.

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
Soon, The Man
would have Woke AF

sweeping through every
black community in America.

And there was no BROTHERHOOD
to stop him.

What it is,
little brother?

Man, get away
from me, a'ight?

I'm not about to be lectured
by a figment of my imagination
right now.

Uh, say, brother,
did you just
call me a figment?

Man, you heard me!

Dig here. I just spent
the last five days getting
here from Austria.

I couldn't find
a pay phone anywhere

and I had to stow away
on a ship carrying
those little tiny sausages.

So, I'm uptight,

everything is weird,

and I'm in no mood
for your jive.

Do you hear me?
Hey, man, I'm not playing.

Get outta here,
or I'm kicking
your ethereal ass.

Ethereal? I don't even know
what that means.

Oh!

You okay now?
Uh-huh. Never better.

Yo, it is you!
You back, baby!

Oh baby! You back!

You back! Ah!

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
After Lionel's dancing,
he clued me in on

what was really going down
at the BROTHERHOOD.

Holy shit!

Holy, holy, holy shit!

Sixteen years?

Yeah, it's, it's bad.

Bad? Your Go Funk Yourself
record was bad.

With the ladies

This is catastrophic.

I mean...

real talk, bro?

I just feel like
I let you down.

It's not you, brother.

It's this 500 years
of oppression just keeps
on keeping on.

Yo, what we gonna do?

You know exactly
what we gonna do.

Hey, look, I held onto this
for inspiration,
so you know...

No, no, no.
I didn't mean to take...

You hold onto that.

We gonna need it a lot more.

Sixteen years?
Yeah.

Is child support retroactive?
I think it is.

Goddamn!
Yeah.

Anyone know
what this is about?

Undercover Brother's brother
called and asked
for all of us to be here.

(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

CHIEF HONEY: Oh, my God.
That fro is perfect.

Undercover Brother.
It's him.

Oh...

It's good to be home.

Brother, meet the agents
of the BROTHERHOOD.

Harvard Brother.
(SPEAKING LATIN)

(SPEAKS LATIN) my brother.

Sarcastic Brother.

It's an honor to meet you.

And I'm being totally sincere
even though my voice
sounds like I'm not.

Well, I'm happy to meet you,

although my face might
look like I might punch you
in your face at any second.

Not today.

Unattainable Sistah.
Not...

unattainable for you.
(GIGGLES)

Go ahead, now. Yeah.

Militant Brother.

And last, but certainly
not least, Chief Honey.

Say, brother,
is that that chick you were
talking about?

That's her.
You mean that was the one that
was doing tricks and stuff.

Oh, yeah. Go on.
(COUGHS AND CLEARS THROAT)

Now, I called you
all here today
for one reason.

And that's to take down
The Man.

How?
We've been decommissioned.

We're not the BROTHERHOOD
anymore.

Listen,
we may not be the BROTHERHOOD,

but we are still
a brotherhood.

That has been our greatest
source of strength all along.

We don't need a commission
to tell us what's right.

Damn it, we know what's right!

And it's a matter of us
getting things done. Together.

And we start
by taking down The Man.

Okay.
Damn.

My little brother's
grown up.

Now, who's in?

All right!

When do we get started,
my ni... new friend?

Switch.

Everybody bring it in.

Brotherhood on three.
One, two, three!

ALL: Brotherhood!

(GLASS CLINKING)

Klansmen!

(CHEERING)
Neo-Nazis!

Corporate recruiters!
Loan officers.

Oh, and, of course,
our country club owners.

My fellow racists.

This is the first nationwide
distribution of Blak Coffee!

(CHEERING)

Soon black neighborhoods
will be hooked on our coffee

and being
driven mad by Woke AF,

all while paying us
for the privilege.

(LAUGHS)

So, on behalf of myself
and Brenda,

enjoy yourselves
and the looming collapse
of ebony America!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
(APPLAUSE)

(CHANTING) Woke! Woke!

Undercover Brother?

Greetings,
inexplicably angry
white people.

Welcome to your
worst nightmare.

Black me...

Black men...

with gun permits.
With gun permits.

On the behalf
of the Constitution,

Bill of Rights,
and simple human decency,

all y'all suckers are
under citizen's arrest.

Not here!

Or we can play it your way.

Oppress this, whitey!

It's on, racists!

Attack!

Oh, you thought
this was a game?

All right then!
This is what I do!
This is what I do!

Black men taking over!

Might I suggest
switching to decaf?

Duck, duck, duck!

I gotcha, I gotcha.
Don't worry.

I gotcha. Stay down, Brenda.

Don't go and get shot,
get shot!

Move! Move!

Other Brendas, attack!

We got these blow-up bitches.
Y'all get The Man.

Cool.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

Stay down, baby.

Are you all right? Oh, baby.

Freeze, The Man.

It's over, sucker.

Don't shoot.

Or I shoot the lady.

Sorry, baby,
but The Man's got to do
what The Man's got to do.

(SIRENS WAILING)

Look, it's over, The Man,
all right?

There's no avalanche
that can save you now.

Freeze! Put your hands up!
Drop your weapons!

Officer, this man is accused
of domestic terrorism

and scheming
to poison black America.

Wha... That's a lie.

These brothers,
they pulled their guns on us

and they demanded
all of our money.

Who you gonna believe?

Them? Or us?

UNDERCOVER BROTHER:
The police believed us

and The Man was sentenced
to life in prison.

Yeah, right.

I said drop your weapons!

I see some things haven't
changed in the last 16 years.

Later, boys.

Take a couple thugs
off the street.
Don't even think about it.

It's cool, brother.

We'll get The Man next time.

Did you just say "we"?

Show you right.

Once again, the system let
The Man disappear.

But the fight goes on

and it's one
we're determined to win.

Led by the agents
of the BROTHERHOOD,

Lionel and me,
The Undercover Brothers.

All right, baby. Keep fresh.

Better watch your ass,
The Man.

Undercover Brother

Hey! Undercover

Undercover Brother

There's a man
Got a low-down evil plan

For keeping
The brothers down

UNDERCOVER BROTHER: Solid.

Shake me
Three, four

I'm the playa
Ooh

With the ladies
Ah

You know they hate
To love me

And my Afro is amazing

You say I'm the macaroni

With the cheese
Gotta have the cheese

I can't lie
I'm the spice of life

So when you need some
Call on me

Oh
Lionel, Lionel, Lionel

Gimme some
Gimme some

'Cause you done funk'd up
With the right one, yeah

Lionel, Lionel, Lionel
That's what they call me
Babe

Gimme some
Gimme some

You done funk'd up
With the right one, yeah

Who's the brother that does
All the things other men can't
Lionel

Who's the man when he speaks
All the ladies just faint
Lionel

Whether it's James Bond
Or James Brown

They both come second
To me

I'm the hot sauce
On these jive turkeys

I'm the one
They coming to see

Oh
Lionel, Lionel, Lionel

Gimme some
Gimme some

'Cause you done funk'd up
With the right one, yeah

Lionel, Lionel, Lionel

Gimme some
Gimme some

'Cause you done funk'd up
With the right one, yeah

Who ya talking 'bout?

Who ya talking 'bout?

I'm a winner
Lionel

And not a loser
Lionel

All the women
Oh, they pray that
I choose them, yeah

I'm so funky
Even ten showers
Couldn't make me clean

Smoother than a Lac
With a diamond in the back

And a full tank
Of gasoline

Lionel, Lionel, Lionel

Gimme some
Gimme some

'Cause you done funk'd up
With the right one, yeah

Lionel, Lionel, Lionel

Gimme some
Gimme some

'Cause you done funk'd up
With the right one, yeah

Lionel, Lionel, Lionel

Gimme some
Gimme some

'Cause you done funk'd up
With the right one, yeah

Lionel, Lionel, Lionel

Gimme some
Gimme some

'Cause you done funk'd up
With the right one, yeah

Gimme some

One, two

Gimme some

(SONG FADES OUT)

(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)