All language subtitles for The.Umbrella.Academy.S02E02.WEBRip.x264-ION10

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Back so soon?

How disappointing.

I'm asking out Sharon tonight.

- Sharon from Payroll?
- No, Sharon from Janitorial.

- Ahh.
- I like her smile.

Plus, my apartment's a disaster.

- Yeah.
- How many pickups we got?

- Two.
- Good, 'cause I am starving.

- Oh, you're starving?
- I am starving.

Fried wontons at Mama Lee's
when we're done?

Eh...

- What?
- I just...

It's too much MSG.

- Oh, you bought the propaganda.
- Yeah.

There's nothing wrong with MSG, my friend.

- All right, you ready? On three.
- Yep.

One, two...

- Aah!
- What?

She moved a bit.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, it... it says right here, she's dead.

It's probably just intestinal gas.

I had one last week that farted
all the way into the oven. It's...

Get me to a hospital.

Don't think that was intestinal gas.

Oh, shit.

You can probably
kiss those wontons goodbye.

Ah, shit. The Handler's back.

- Uh-oh.
- She's back.

- The Handler?
- She's back.

AJ.

Welcome back.

And let me say,

your recovery has been
an inspiration to us all.

Well...

if it wasn't for this metal plate
in my head from the Shanghai job,

I don't think I'd be here.

I didn't expect to see you
until the board...

meeting.

What's going on?

Um, during your rehabilitation,
certain management changes were made,

unavoidable departmental reorganizations.

- I'm sorry to say...
- You're not firing me.

- Of course not.
- Oh, thank God.

We would never dream of it. However...

you will be demoted.

What?

Due to your long-standing commitment
to the Commission,

you'll keep your benefits package
and parking...

uh...

- in lot C.
- Lot C?

Look, if I'm completely honest,

you've always had a problem
with authority.

This is about my last file, isn't it?

Hazel and Cha-Cha
screwed the pooch on that one, not me,

and don't even get me started
on Number Five,

the depth of whose betrayal
served as powerful motivation

in waking me from my coma,

and all the way through my long, tedious,

painful recovery back to this office.

It's not just one thing.

Remember that whole 743 incident?

Be happy you're still employed.

Give me two days.

AJ, give me two freaking days.
I will make this right.

The task has already been reassigned.

Send him in.

Herb?

You're sending him after Five?

Don't be ridiculous.

We've already sent operatives
into the field.

Herb is your new...

supervisor.

Oh, this... this is a joke, right?

I've dropped turds bigger than Herb.

Someone needs fiber.

Please show the Handler to her new desk.

I took a bullet in the head
for this company.

And we thank you for your service.

Home sweet home.

Oh, um...

uh...

your desk is... over there.

If you need anything, my desk is...

over here.

Today is Polynesian day in the cafeteria.

Wanna join me for some lau lau?

Ask me again,
I'll staple your face to the wall.

Okay.

Ow!

The hell is wrong with you, Luther?

I just told you the world's gonna end
in ten days.

Yeah, well, you're always saying that.

And so far, I've been right.

Look, you want to go save the world?

Knock yourself out. All right?
I already got a job.

Wait, you work in this shithole?

Yeah. Well, my boss owns the place.

I'm his body man.

What's that?
Like a masseuse or something?

Okay, you can make fun all you want,
but I take good care of Mr. Ruby.

Wait, Ruby.

The Jack Ruby, the gangster who shot Oswald?

Yeah, the one and only.

Well, it finally happened.

That gorilla DNA
has taken over your mind.

Hey, watch it, all right?
Jack's a good friend.

And you're Number One.

Número Uno. Remember?

There is no Number One.

Not anymore.

Not in 1963.

Look, I've been stranded here alone
for a year.

- What did you expect?
- I get it, all right?

You watched Pogo die, the world exploded,

and I marooned your big dumb ass in time.

I'm sorry, okay?

But I'm asking for your help, Luther.

- The Umbrella Academy needs you.
- It doesn't need me.

It never did.

Luther, honey, Jack's about to lose it
on some half-wit.

- A little help?
- Ah, shit.

- Luther, wait.
- Listen.

You're the genius
who said we should jump. Right?

You're the one who got us stuck here.

And
you're the one who brought Vanya.

So if there is a doomsday coming,
she's probably the cause.

And if I was gonna do something about it, it sure as
hell is not gonna be with you.

The Bolsheviks are here.

They're living among us, okay?

And they're ready.

They're ready to steer America down
the long road towards communism.

We're better than them.

Come on, buddy, let's go.

Get your hands off me.

Get him out of here, now.

Get off me. Get off me!

Get your big arms off me.

Dad should've left him on the moon.

My keys, have you seen them?

No.

- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, it's just...

Carl needs a ride home.

From the office?

From the bar.

He just called from a pay phone,
drunk as a skunk.

I'm sorry.

Any luck?

Someone find you yet?

Nothing.

I... Oh.

Oh, no, no, sweetie. I have to go out,

- but Vanya can read it...
- Mmm!

Harlan. Harlan, come on.

- Let's go back to bed.
- Harlan? Harlan, honey...

Harlan, honey...

- I'll go get Carl.
- Mmm!

- Really? Are you sure?
- Yeah.

And you can stay and read to Harlan.

I got this.

Don't take this wrong, but...

I wish I'd run you over years ago.

All right, baby, come on.

This way.

All right, we can't stay here too long.

They're gonna be looking for us.

The cops
or those large Scandinavian fellas

- with guns?
- Both.

What are you doing?

I'm not gonna get very far
dressed like a lobotomy case.

You mean we won't get very far.

Look, I appreciate your help...

but now, we... Oh.

-Now we go our
separate ways. -Why?

Because they're gonna be looking for us.

Together.

We stand a better chance on our own.

You need me. We make a good team.

Mm-mm. Too dangerous.

You didn't think so back in the fun house
when I saved your ass, or did you forget?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Your fly's undone.

- Gotcha.
- What is wrong with you?

Come on, we'll take my car.

What car?

This one.

Hey.

What? You don't like the color?

Stop being a princess and get in!

Shh!

You know the other window was open, right?

Jesus, Carl.

You're a mess.

Sissy mad at me?

I wouldn't exactly say she's happy.

She tell you that? Or you just...

speculating?

You lied to her, Carl.

You said you were going to work,
and you came here.

- Okay, get inside.
- She still love me?

Of course she does.

You're lucky, you know that?

You got a blank slate.

Start over.

Be anyone you want.

The rest of us are stuck with who we are.

Vanya.

Since the dawn of time,

mankind has been asking
the same age-old question...

Do
blondes have more fun?

With Sun Ray hair dye,
the answer is "Yes!"

Dallas police! Hands in the air!

- Get your hands behind your head.
- Drop the weapon!

Allison, put it down!
Allison, put the bat down.

- Raymond Chestnut, you're under arrest.
- No! Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

- Come on!
- What's the charge?

Assault and battery.

Officer, that's ridiculous.

You don't remember? You beat a man
without provocation at Odessa's.

No! No, no, no, no, that was me!

- I... I did that in self-defense!
- He was threatening us! Aah!

No, please, stop it.

You can't do this.

- I heard...
- Back up. Back up right now

- or you're going with him.
- Allison.

I said back up.

- Allison, baby, let it go.
- I heard a rumor.

Allison. Allison, baby, it's okay.
Baby, I love you.

It's okay. I'm fine. I'm gonna be okay!

Do we have a problem here?

No.

Officer.

Elliott, did you develop these photos yourself?

Of course.

Can't exactly drop that stuff off
at the neighborhood Fotomat.

Government has eyes everywhere.

I didn't see a darkroom.

Yeah, I converted the hallway closet.

Can you develop this?

Hmm?

Huh. "Frankel Footage." Friends of yours?

Cousins on my robot mother's side.

- Can you do it or not?
- Sure I can.

How long?

Well, I mean,
I'm running low on acetic acid.

Beeker's Cameras is open today,
but it's two miles away.

I mean, I'd have to take the bus.

On the other hand,
Gibson's is only ten blocks away,

but I gotta cut through the park,
and there's pigeons...

- Elliott.
- It's like five, maybe six hours.

Attention all units,
we have a code 3-15

at the Holbrook Sanitarium.

The hell is a code 3-15?

Mmm, fugitives on the run.

Twenty-five patients still at large.

Many are considered armed and dangerous.

- Oh, Diego.
- Oh, who's Diego?

Imagine Batman, then aim lower.

You get started on that film.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

All right, here's the plan:
Oswald finishes his shift at 4:30 p.m.

Once he walks out those doors,
we force him into the front seat.

- I'm in the front seat.
- Okay, fine.

In the back seat.

You're gonna pin his arms,
I'm gonna cut off his trigger finger

and tell him he has 24 hours
to exit Dallas.

- That's your plan?
- You got a problem with it?

- Well, why don't we just kill him?
- What?

I mean, you think he's gonna shoot
the president, right?

- Right.
- Fine, so we kill him.

Put a bullet between his eyes.
Problem solved.

Oh, no, no, we're not going to kill a man
before he's committed a crime.

That's stupid.

- Excuse me?
- In fact, your whole plan is stupid.

What, chopping off a guy's finger?

No, it's not just any
finger, it's his trigger finger, all right?

You can't shoot a gun
without a trigger finger.

What if he's ambidextrous?

How do you get through a day?

Get out. I can do this on my own.

Dr. Moncton was right,
this hero complex is no joke.

- That is not what this is about.
- Of course it is.

Y-You want to prove to Daddy
that you're a big success.

No, you don't know anything about me.

I know everything about you.

You... You are an open book
written for very dumb children.

I am not trying to be a hero, okay?

Then why are you doing this?

Because he is an idiot.

Who the hell are you?

Hi. I'm his loving brother.

Who left me to rot in the nuthouse.

To protect you from yourself.

That's quite sweet.

Okay, both of you, out.

Lose the crazy lady and come with me.

We have important business.

I am not going anywhere with you.

Okay, fine.

- Officer!
- Hey!

What are you doing?

I hear there's a reward out for you two.

He's bluffing.

He's not.

Fine.

I'll go with you.

What about me?

And I'm bringing the crazy lady.

Excuse me, Officer?

- Yep?
- I've been waiting for two hours.

I would like to know
what's happened to my husband.

Name.

Chestnut, Raymond Chestnut.

He's here. In processing.

Yes, I know.

- I would like to speak with him.
- You his lawyer?

- No, I am his wife.
- Then I can't help you. Take a seat.

Take a seat.

Honor and dignity.

Honor and dignity.

So it's illegal now to hand out flyers?

- It's illegal to hand out flyers?
- Without a permit, it is,

- and you know this, Keechie.
- I'm so sorry.

I didn't realize we're living
under communist rule.

Keep moving.

Okay.

Thank you.

Holy shit!

- It's you.
- Have we met?

Yes.

No, I mean... I saw you speak

- in Berkeley in '61.
- Oh. Oh, yeah.

- Yes, you changed my life.
- Oh, great.

It was fanta... The next day...

I gave up my law practice,
my superficial life,

and I came to where it all started.

I've been spreading your message
of love and peace ever since.

Oh, I have so many questions.

Yeah, well, now...
now is not really the time, though, is it?

Well...

- Because we're in jail.
- Oh!

- You have such a sense of humor.
- Don't touch me.

Okay.

Any nuggets of wisdom
that you can give to me?

Don't go chasing waterfalls.

Stick to the rivers and the lakes
that you're used to.

That's so... deep.

Yeah, I know, right?

You want to sit in my seat
and meditate on it?

- I think you should meditate on it.
- Okay.

That hurts in a good way.

Heavy... is the head that wears the crown.

Actually, the line is,
"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown."

Oh, great. Your dad made you read
Shakespeare too, huh?

I taught it.

Spelman College.

Really?

- You're a professor, huh?
- I used to be.

- Then life took me on a different path.
- Me too.

And I have all these people

who have these ridiculously high

expectations of me...

but I don't want it anymore.

Remember your Twelfth Night.

"Be not afraid of greatness.

Some are born great,

some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon them."

Amen, brother.

Oh. Yeah, but Shakespeare had no idea
what it was like to be me.

Yeah, perhaps.

But it's in the struggle
that folks find out their true calling.

Wow, that's deep.

- Raymond.
- Klaus.

You're free to go, pretty boy.

Me?

Chief got a call
from the governor.

The governor?

You got some damn powerful friends, Klaus.

Oh, yeah, I don't even know the guy,

just some of his wealthier benefactors.
Oh, thank God.

Well, I tell you what,

if you ever do meet him,

make sure he knows my brothers here
are being held without charge.

Is that true?

- Feel free to file a complaint.
- What?

Where did you get the film?

"The Frankel Footage."
The truth this time.

You know this lunatic?

New acquaintance. He's harmless.

Are you sure about that?

Are you or are you not
an enemy of the people?

- Such an open-ended question, yeah.
- Really depends on the people.

You move one more muscle,
I will blow your brains out.

- You want to take this or should I?
- No, I got him.

Hey, Lila...

What the hell just happened?

- Is it on?
- I don't know.

What do you mean? There's an
"on" button. Just...

There's something over...
That jigga-ma-thing, whatever.

- I hit the jigga-ma-thing.
- Okay, well, just...

- Give it to me. I know how to do this.
- -All right, here.

- Here. Hurry up.
- -Okay, all right, let's see...

They're so cute.

I love old couples.

I'm always so proud of them
for not murdering each other.

- Why are we watching this?
- Shush.

- Yeah, I... I'm Dan Frankel. And...
- -I'm Edna Frankel.

Edna Frankel. We are in Dallas, Texas,
to see the president.

Today's date is November 22, 1963.

Well, that's six days from now.

Holy shit. This is it.

The grassy knoll.
Kennedy's about to get shot.

How do you have this?

Hazel died to get me this footage.

It must be the key to stopping doomsday.

- Hazel?
- Long story.

- What's doomsday?
- Longer story.

What exactly did he say to you?

Well, he was killed
before he could explain.

But whatever he wanted us to see,
it's on this film.

This is very exciting.

-Oh, my God!
-Oswald.

The president!

Oh, no.

This can't be.

Okay, you gonna fill me in now, boys?
What the hell is this shit we're watching?

No, that's impossible.

Clearly, it's not.

What... What is it?

Dad.

If you're here about the guest room,
I only got space for one.

Hey!

Snack time.

Oh!

Come on.

What?

Oh, you wanna play hide-and-seek?

All right, one game.

I'll finish setting up inside.

You better get going.

All right, one...

two...

three...

She stays put.

Harlan?

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Harlan?

Harlan?

Vanya?

You know who I am?

What? Of course I know you.

Oh, my God, I've been putting ads
in the... in the paper,

- hoping somebody would...
- Stay back. Stay back. Wait...

How do we know each other?

- Stop it.
- Stop what?

Whatever bullshit game this is, okay?

- That's not why I'm here.
- No, no. I'm not... I'm not lying. I...

I... I had an accident,
and it affected my memory.

Did I do something?

Okay, no. It's...

- It's more complicated than that.
- If I hurt you, I'm... I'm sorry.

- I... If anybody...
- No. Don't!

You shouldn't be the one to apologize.

What did you do to me?

I let you down.

I did horrible things,
things that I'm not proud of...

when I could've just tried helping you.

I thought it was my job
to keep everyone safe, and I just...

I just made it all worse.

I never wanted to be the bad guy.

So...

if you're bullshitting me, Vanya...

I don't care.

If you're hiding out here
and don't want to be found, I understand.

I just came here to tell you...

that I'm sorry...

for my part in what happened.

Harlan, Harlan. Hey...

Who's the kid?

He's my son.

And you got about ten seconds
to explain your business here.

Slowly.

I found it on the floor
at the Carousel Club.

Belongs to your husband.

Next time, use the front door.

Yes, ma'am.

Of course Dad would be involved
in the assassination. I should've known.

No, you're jumping to conclusions.

What else is he doing
standing on the grassy knoll,

holding an open black umbrella
on a sunny day in Dallas

the exact same moment
the president gets shot?

It doesn't look good, I admit.

No, he's the signalman
for the whole goddamn thing.

Easy, Diego.

- Seriously.
- No, it makes sense.

This is what Hazel
was obviously trying to tell you.

We have to stop Dad
from killing the president.

Diego, calm down, all right?

Dad was no Boy Scout,
but presidential assassination?

- It's never been his thing.
- How would you know?

You skipped out on his golden years.

Skipped out?

You think I had it easy, Diego?

I was alone for 45 years.

You know what?
We don't have the time for this right now.

Dad's clearly in Dallas, right?
Let's just go talk to him.

Maybe he can help us fix the timeline.

Dallas is a big place.

We need to find him first.

Gee, if only we had
some magical, old-timey way

of finding people and their addresses.

Let's start simple. His name.

Hargreeves... Hargreeves... Hargreeves...

Shit, nothing here.

Try his company,
D.S. Umbrella Manufacturing Co.

Yeah, I know the name.

Thanks.

Uh...

Holy shit.

"D.S. Umbrella.

Eighty-two Olive."

Let's go.

- He okay to leave here like that?
- Yeah, he's fine.

What about the girl?

Shit.

What are you doing in here?

Nothing, just...

- you know, getting some air.
- In a closet?

There's a draft.

All right, Lila,
I gotta take off with Five, okay?

It's happening again, isn't it?

What is?

Cuckoo.

That home movie.

Doomsday.

Diego, last time I started seeing things,
they put me away.

- Maybe I shouldn't have left.
- Stop.

Do you...

Do you believe
there are things in this universe

we're never meant to understand?

Well, I failed remedial school.
Most things I don't understand.

- Okay.
- Like yogurt.

How did it know how to stop being milk?

Okay. Like yogurt.

We don't have to understand shit about it
for it to be real.

Right?

Doesn't make us crazy.

That home movie...

it's just that.

It's like yogurt.

Pinky swear?

The pinkiest.

I gotta leave you here with Elliott, okay?

Why?

Got a family thing.

We should talk about a plan

in case I'm not out in time
for the sit-in.

Raymond, I'm gonna get you outta here.

This is my fault. It was a setup,
and I walked right into it.

I'm gonna fix this.

Babe, they were going to arrest me
regardless.

They can't have us making noise,

embarrass them
while the president's in town.

- I made it worse.
- No. No, no, no.

You make things better.

Hey.

You make me better.

I'm gonna get you outta here, okay?

Hey...

I'm curious.

Why did you say,

"I heard a rumor" last night?

Hmm?

- You said it twice.
- Time.

Uh, I...

- We'll talk about this later, okay?
- Let's go, ma'am.

- Honor and dignity.
- Honor and dignity.

I promise.

Where did you get that?

All the children of the prophet have them.

And does this "prophet" have a name?

The key was under the mat,

- but you knew that already.
- No talky, no talky, no talky.

Just...

sleepy time now.

Sleepy time.

What's the matter?

Don't like what you see?

Piss off.

I keep asking myself
how I know that guy from the barn.

Honey, you've been with us
more than a month.

You are not the type who'd associate
with rough men like that.

The weird thing is, he apologized.

Said he'd done me wrong
and wanted to make amends.

Even more reason to avoid him.

Ain't a lot of men around here
who apologize to women.

So, whatever he did,

it must've been somethin' bad.

I just wish I could remember something.

Anything.

It'll come back.

Doc said it would take time.
You can't rush it.

And in the meantime,
I have no idea who I was.

Here.

Show me those hands.

Hmm...

You were never a farmhand,
that's for sure.

I doubt you've done any real labor.

Uh, these callouses on your fingertips...

I wonder how you got those.

I wonder.

It's late.

We should mosey.

Yeah.

I'll... I'll clean up.

Good night, then.

This is it.

"D.S. Umbrella." This
is it.

You okay?

Yeah, fine.

Just...

How long's it been
since you've seen the old man?

Forty-five years.

That's a trip.

No kidding.

You know, when I was stuck out there
in the apocalypse,

there wasn't a day that went by
where I didn't hear his voice in my head.

What was he saying?

- Ah, shit.
- "I told you so."

Well, if Dad's here,
he's never met you before,

so he can't say "I told you so."

I'm sure he'll find a way.

Right.

Gotta remember that.

Shit.

Guess Dad wasn't much for home decor.

Feels more like a front.

A front for what?

I don't know.

Well, I'll take the left.

Yell if you, uh... get in trouble.

What are you up to?

Hi.

Pogo.

Hey.

It's all right, little buddy.

Pogo. It's good to see you.

Diego!

Diego!

Impressive.

Amateur.

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