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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,986 ["CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'" BY THE MAMAS & THE PAPAS PLAYING] 2 00:00:05,489 --> 00:00:06,740 ♪ All the leaves are brown ♪ 3 00:00:06,824 --> 00:00:09,410 ♪ All the leaves are brown ♪ 4 00:00:09,493 --> 00:00:11,578 ♪ And the sky is gray ♪ 5 00:00:11,662 --> 00:00:14,581 [OVER RADIO]: ♪ And the sky is gray ♪ 6 00:00:14,665 --> 00:00:15,999 ♪ I've been for a walk ♪ 7 00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,210 ♪ I've been for a walk ♪ 8 00:00:18,293 --> 00:00:20,421 ♪ On a winter's day... ♪ 9 00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:24,842 [MESSAGE TONE PLAYING] 10 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:26,552 ♪ I'd be safe and warm ♪ 11 00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:28,595 - ♪ If I was in L.A. ♪ - _ 12 00:00:28,679 --> 00:00:32,099 - ♪ If I was in L.A. ♪ - _ 13 00:00:32,182 --> 00:00:33,600 ♪ California dreamin'... ♪ 14 00:00:33,684 --> 00:00:35,310 Sorry that I'm late, exclamation point. 15 00:00:35,394 --> 00:00:37,612 I should be there any second, exclamation point. 16 00:00:37,775 --> 00:00:38,876 [PHONE CHIMES] 17 00:00:40,103 --> 00:00:43,023 ♪ Stopped into a church ♪ 18 00:00:43,106 --> 00:00:45,734 ♪ I passed along the way ♪ 19 00:00:47,861 --> 00:00:49,696 ♪ Well, I got down on my knees ♪ 20 00:00:49,780 --> 00:00:51,782 ♪ Got down on my knees ♪ 21 00:00:51,865 --> 00:00:54,201 ♪ And I began to pray ♪ 22 00:00:54,284 --> 00:00:55,994 ♪ I began to pray ♪ 23 00:00:56,078 --> 00:00:57,246 ♪ You know the pr... ♪ 24 00:00:57,329 --> 00:00:59,248 [MUSIC STOPS] 25 00:00:59,331 --> 00:01:01,333 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 26 00:01:02,793 --> 00:01:04,795 Holy shit. 27 00:01:07,548 --> 00:01:09,675 I, um, I think I'm here. 28 00:01:09,758 --> 00:01:11,093 [PHONE CHIMES] 29 00:01:11,176 --> 00:01:13,220 [MESSAGE TONE PLAYING] 30 00:01:13,621 --> 00:01:15,831 _ 31 00:01:18,308 --> 00:01:20,227 Take your time, smiley face. 32 00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:21,436 [PHONE CHIMES] 33 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,564 P.S. How'd you get your text tone on my phone? 34 00:01:23,647 --> 00:01:25,023 [PHONE CHIMES] 35 00:01:25,107 --> 00:01:27,860 [CLICKS TONGUE] Oh. 36 00:01:27,943 --> 00:01:29,945 Seriously? 37 00:01:32,698 --> 00:01:34,074 [BAG THUMPS] 38 00:01:34,158 --> 00:01:35,617 Uh, you mind me sitting up front? 39 00:01:35,701 --> 00:01:37,119 I'm gonna put my bag in the back. 40 00:01:37,202 --> 00:01:38,829 Uh... 41 00:01:38,912 --> 00:01:40,956 I mean, I can, I can go in the back 42 00:01:41,039 --> 00:01:42,583 - if that's weird or whatever. - No, no, no. No. 43 00:01:42,666 --> 00:01:44,293 It's... it's totally fine. [CHUCKLES] 44 00:01:48,714 --> 00:01:50,632 - [DOOR OPENS] - [EXHALES] 45 00:01:50,716 --> 00:01:51,758 [DOOR CLOSES] 46 00:01:51,842 --> 00:01:53,635 I am Clare, your Orbit driver. 47 00:01:53,719 --> 00:01:55,721 [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 48 00:01:55,804 --> 00:01:59,641 I am Carl E., your passenger. 49 00:01:59,725 --> 00:02:01,602 - [LAUGHS] - Hi. 50 00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:03,437 Hi. 51 00:02:05,564 --> 00:02:06,565 Oh, you want me to Waze LAX? 52 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,609 Oh, no, no, no. I... I can do that. 53 00:02:08,692 --> 00:02:09,693 Um... 54 00:02:09,776 --> 00:02:10,903 [PHONE CHIMES] 55 00:02:10,986 --> 00:02:13,030 It'll take 54 minutes. 56 00:02:13,113 --> 00:02:14,656 You're not from L.A. 57 00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:16,658 Uh... [CHUCKLES] 58 00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:17,993 [ENGINE STARTS] 59 00:02:18,076 --> 00:02:21,872 No, I'm... not, actually. [CHUCKLES] 60 00:02:23,624 --> 00:02:25,459 You should probably put your seat belt on. 61 00:02:30,464 --> 00:02:33,050 Well, where are you from? 62 00:02:33,133 --> 00:02:36,345 I am from Wamego. 63 00:02:36,428 --> 00:02:39,181 Wamego, Kansas. 64 00:02:39,264 --> 00:02:41,016 I actually just moved here six days ago. 65 00:02:41,099 --> 00:02:43,227 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 66 00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:46,855 Uh, you live with, uh, friends, family? 67 00:02:46,939 --> 00:02:49,191 Boyfriend? Girlfriend? 68 00:02:49,274 --> 00:02:51,985 Mm, no, just... just, uh, me and my dog. 69 00:02:52,069 --> 00:02:55,030 I don't know anyone. 70 00:02:55,113 --> 00:02:56,573 I don't know anyone in L.A. 71 00:02:56,657 --> 00:02:58,200 - Well, you know me. - I mean... 72 00:02:58,283 --> 00:03:00,828 Well... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 73 00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:02,371 Welcome to the city of lights 74 00:03:02,454 --> 00:03:05,332 or... dreams or delusions or whatever. 75 00:03:05,415 --> 00:03:08,418 [LAUGHS SOFTLY] 76 00:03:08,502 --> 00:03:11,255 We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto. 77 00:03:11,338 --> 00:03:13,423 - [LAUGHS AWKWARDLY] - [CHUCKLES] 78 00:03:13,507 --> 00:03:16,134 Well, I... actually, the line is, 79 00:03:16,218 --> 00:03:18,887 "I don't believe we're in Kansas anymore, Toto." 80 00:03:18,971 --> 00:03:21,974 I've... I've watched the movie, like, a million times 81 00:03:22,057 --> 00:03:25,060 and, uh, Dorothy's actually from Wamego, 82 00:03:25,143 --> 00:03:27,521 so they have this museum for her and, uh, 83 00:03:27,604 --> 00:03:30,858 I... I would go a lot and that's why I became a writer, 84 00:03:30,941 --> 00:03:33,569 or, um, I'm... trying to become a writer. 85 00:03:33,652 --> 00:03:35,571 And that's why L.A. 86 00:03:35,654 --> 00:03:37,447 Yeah. 87 00:03:37,531 --> 00:03:38,740 But why now? 88 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,120 I don't know, I guess... 89 00:03:43,203 --> 00:03:46,623 I guess it was time. 90 00:03:46,707 --> 00:03:51,587 So I packed everything up and drove 1,617 miles 91 00:03:51,670 --> 00:03:54,715 till I hit the ocean. 92 00:03:54,798 --> 00:03:56,884 I've always wanted to see the ocean. 93 00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:59,678 I've always wanted to become a writer, too. 94 00:04:02,347 --> 00:04:06,101 Well, nothing's ever lost, you know. 95 00:04:06,185 --> 00:04:07,352 Like time. 96 00:04:07,436 --> 00:04:10,230 It might feel like it is, 97 00:04:10,314 --> 00:04:13,775 like life might have passed you by. 98 00:04:13,859 --> 00:04:15,903 It hasn't. 99 00:04:18,947 --> 00:04:22,159 Um, you, uh... 100 00:04:22,242 --> 00:04:23,410 you have something right... 101 00:04:23,494 --> 00:04:25,913 Oh, uh... [LAUGHS] 102 00:04:25,996 --> 00:04:27,498 [BOTH LAUGHING] 103 00:04:27,581 --> 00:04:29,750 Like, um, burger mustard? 104 00:04:29,833 --> 00:04:33,337 Oh, yeah, it was a... a veggie burger. 105 00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:36,089 Yeah, with v... vanilla shake and curly fries? 106 00:04:36,173 --> 00:04:38,842 No, actually not, I'm vegan. 107 00:04:38,926 --> 00:04:42,596 Um, but yeah. I... I was, um, 108 00:04:42,679 --> 00:04:45,015 I was running late, so I didn't have time to, 109 00:04:45,098 --> 00:04:47,976 you know, sit down and, um, 110 00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:49,186 eat. 111 00:04:49,269 --> 00:04:50,604 Well, let's make time. 112 00:04:50,687 --> 00:04:53,065 Fuck my flight, I can get another flight. 113 00:04:53,148 --> 00:04:55,984 Right now all I want is to get a burger and to get to know you. 114 00:04:56,068 --> 00:04:58,320 Um, yeah, okay. 115 00:04:58,403 --> 00:04:59,738 I'm serious. 116 00:04:59,822 --> 00:05:03,408 This here... Clare, Carl E. 117 00:05:03,492 --> 00:05:05,619 I mean, our names are anagrams! 118 00:05:05,702 --> 00:05:08,539 [LAUGHS] 119 00:05:08,622 --> 00:05:12,042 I know that we were meant to meet tonight. 120 00:05:13,085 --> 00:05:17,756 Not to be stalker-y. 121 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,091 No, um, you're not. 122 00:05:19,174 --> 00:05:21,593 Well, I kind of am, but... 123 00:05:21,677 --> 00:05:24,555 fuck it, I'm an open book. Ask me anything. 124 00:05:24,638 --> 00:05:27,307 Are you famous? [LAUGHS SOFTLY] 125 00:05:27,391 --> 00:05:29,726 I mean, you don't have to tell me if you are. 126 00:05:29,810 --> 00:05:31,979 Why would you think that? 127 00:05:32,062 --> 00:05:34,940 You live in a mansion and you're... you're my age. 128 00:05:35,023 --> 00:05:36,733 Oh, no, that's not my house. 129 00:05:36,817 --> 00:05:39,319 Oh. Okay, do you, do you live with your parents? 130 00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:42,114 No. 131 00:05:42,197 --> 00:05:45,492 Actually, I have no idea who lives there. 132 00:05:46,535 --> 00:05:48,704 What do you mean? 133 00:05:51,331 --> 00:05:56,545 About 40, 45 minutes ago, 134 00:05:56,628 --> 00:05:58,964 a sharing economy driver, much like yourself, 135 00:05:59,047 --> 00:06:02,509 dropped me off and I rang the bell. 136 00:06:02,593 --> 00:06:04,928 When the woman that lives there opened the door, 137 00:06:05,012 --> 00:06:07,764 I shot her in the face. 138 00:06:11,185 --> 00:06:12,436 That's... that's funny. 139 00:06:12,519 --> 00:06:15,439 No, I'm not being funny. 140 00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:18,275 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS] 141 00:06:18,358 --> 00:06:23,071 After I shot her, I went into the bedroom, 142 00:06:23,155 --> 00:06:26,325 where I found the husband watching basketball. 143 00:06:28,327 --> 00:06:31,788 And I shot him in the back of the head. 144 00:06:31,872 --> 00:06:34,875 ♪ 145 00:06:37,085 --> 00:06:40,839 And then... 146 00:06:40,923 --> 00:06:44,551 I went looking for the children. 147 00:06:48,388 --> 00:06:52,434 Keep your eyes on the road, Clare. 148 00:06:52,518 --> 00:06:55,646 We don't want to have an accident. 149 00:06:55,729 --> 00:06:58,649 ♪ 150 00:06:58,732 --> 00:07:03,028 I found the little princesses in the kitchen... 151 00:07:03,111 --> 00:07:07,115 crying, blubbering, 152 00:07:07,199 --> 00:07:10,244 snotting all over the linoleum. 153 00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:13,288 God, I hate that noise. 154 00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:19,127 I didn't want to waste any ammo on that hot mess, so... 155 00:07:19,211 --> 00:07:23,090 I used my hunting knife instead. 156 00:07:26,343 --> 00:07:28,053 [CLARE PANTING] 157 00:07:28,136 --> 00:07:32,099 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. 158 00:07:32,182 --> 00:07:35,352 Catch a princess by its toe. 159 00:07:35,435 --> 00:07:37,479 If it hollers... 160 00:07:37,563 --> 00:07:42,818 which it did, a lot... 161 00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:45,863 cut its throat. 162 00:07:45,946 --> 00:07:50,534 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. 163 00:07:50,617 --> 00:07:55,455 Want to guess which one of the brats is in the duffel bag in the back? 164 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:00,085 [EXHALES] 165 00:08:00,169 --> 00:08:05,883 Do you know what I really, really, really want, Clare? 166 00:08:05,966 --> 00:08:08,385 A good old-fashioned story. 167 00:08:08,468 --> 00:08:11,013 You're a writer, you moved to La-La Land 168 00:08:11,096 --> 00:08:12,639 to prove that you're employable 169 00:08:12,723 --> 00:08:14,266 and not just some Kansas bumpkin 170 00:08:14,349 --> 00:08:16,185 who won her high school poetry contest, 171 00:08:16,268 --> 00:08:17,477 so here's the deal. 172 00:08:19,688 --> 00:08:22,483 If you tell me a really good story, 173 00:08:22,566 --> 00:08:25,402 then I will let you live. 174 00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:29,406 Does that sound good, Clare Scheherazade? 175 00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:32,034 I'll take that as a yes. 176 00:08:32,117 --> 00:08:33,243 Okay. 177 00:08:33,327 --> 00:08:35,621 As they say in the biz, 178 00:08:35,704 --> 00:08:38,832 roll sound. 179 00:08:38,916 --> 00:08:42,044 Roll camera. 180 00:08:42,127 --> 00:08:45,547 And... action. 181 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:52,323 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 12232

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