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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,412 --> 00:00:10,579 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:23,746 --> 00:00:25,287 (neon buzzing) 3 00:00:38,162 --> 00:00:40,913 (tropical pop music playing) 4 00:00:41,245 --> 00:00:42,287 (exhales) 5 00:00:47,329 --> 00:00:48,454 ♪ All night long... ♪ 6 00:00:48,537 --> 00:00:51,037 This is so fucking surreal. 7 00:00:51,287 --> 00:00:52,954 Jaimie: Yeah, it is. 8 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,412 Oh... 9 00:00:55,954 --> 00:00:57,537 Did this come with the penis crown? 10 00:00:57,621 --> 00:00:59,120 No, no, no. Give me that. 11 00:00:59,204 --> 00:01:00,329 (laughs) 12 00:01:00,412 --> 00:01:01,204 I forgot! 13 00:01:01,287 --> 00:01:03,913 Happy divorce, my dear Eva. 14 00:01:04,829 --> 00:01:06,371 Yes, thank you. 15 00:01:06,454 --> 00:01:08,454 For highlighting what a loser I am. 16 00:01:08,537 --> 00:01:09,788 -Thank you. -(laughs) 17 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:12,412 Ugh... 18 00:01:13,454 --> 00:01:14,371 (video recording tone) 19 00:01:14,454 --> 00:01:15,913 Jaimie: Ladies and gentlemen, 20 00:01:15,995 --> 00:01:17,954 I've known Eva since the 5th grade, 21 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:21,663 and she's currently putting her bra on over her towel! 22 00:01:21,746 --> 00:01:23,704 Are you fucking filming me? 23 00:01:23,788 --> 00:01:24,829 (laughs) 24 00:01:25,245 --> 00:01:26,579 Eva: Do not post that. 25 00:01:26,663 --> 00:01:28,829 In fact, don't post anything from tonight. 26 00:01:28,913 --> 00:01:29,829 (grunts) 27 00:01:31,204 --> 00:01:32,913 You already posted something?! 28 00:01:32,995 --> 00:01:33,954 You're not in it! 29 00:01:34,037 --> 00:01:35,204 (loud sigh) 30 00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:37,162 Show me. 31 00:01:38,245 --> 00:01:39,329 Mmm. 32 00:01:39,995 --> 00:01:41,037 (Jaimie laughs) 33 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,329 Eva: You follow Poppy March? 34 00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:43,746 -Jaimie: Yeah? -Eva: Why? 35 00:01:43,829 --> 00:01:45,995 'Cause she's famous and she does cool shit. 36 00:01:46,079 --> 00:01:47,746 Does my following her offend you? 37 00:01:47,829 --> 00:01:50,954 (sighs) I just have this sinking feeling that 38 00:01:51,037 --> 00:01:53,454 -Derek is fucking her. -What?! 39 00:01:53,663 --> 00:01:55,954 Dude, they've been commenting on each other's posts. 40 00:01:56,037 --> 00:01:57,496 Like, a lot. 41 00:01:58,579 --> 00:01:59,995 Okay? 42 00:02:02,537 --> 00:02:03,412 Never mind. 43 00:02:03,913 --> 00:02:06,329 It's fine. Show me-- show me what you posted. 44 00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,120 Jaimie: See? You're not in it. 45 00:02:08,204 --> 00:02:09,204 -(notification tone) -(both gasp) 46 00:02:09,537 --> 00:02:12,871 Both: Walker Young commented on your photo! 47 00:02:12,954 --> 00:02:14,287 (both scream) 48 00:02:14,371 --> 00:02:15,287 (Jaimie laughs) 49 00:02:15,371 --> 00:02:16,454 Eva: Click on it, Click on it! 50 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,162 -Jaimie: Damn. -Eva: Ooh... 51 00:02:18,245 --> 00:02:20,037 -Jaimie: He still looks good. -Eva: Yeah, he does. 52 00:02:20,245 --> 00:02:22,496 I think I liked his shaggy hair though. 53 00:02:22,579 --> 00:02:24,454 -Jaimie: Ooh, like this TBT? -Eva: Yessss! 54 00:02:24,537 --> 00:02:26,162 Both: Ohhhh! 55 00:02:26,245 --> 00:02:28,204 Eva: Those curls! 56 00:02:28,287 --> 00:02:31,204 Remember that ridiculous letter I wrote him? 57 00:02:31,287 --> 00:02:33,788 Ugh, if you had just given it to him, 58 00:02:33,871 --> 00:02:36,037 you could have figured out if you liked him or not. 59 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,995 Yeah, but sometimes the dream of something 60 00:02:39,079 --> 00:02:42,871 is so much better than the... crushing reality of it. 61 00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:44,496 (scoffs) Okay, yeah. 62 00:02:44,579 --> 00:02:45,746 Like the reality that he wants 63 00:02:45,829 --> 00:02:47,412 -to crush you with his boner? -Ew! 64 00:02:47,496 --> 00:02:50,746 He would not even give me a rose on, like, night one. 65 00:02:50,829 --> 00:02:51,704 Oh, please! 66 00:02:51,788 --> 00:02:53,663 He'd be giving you roses until you 67 00:02:53,746 --> 00:02:55,621 sucked him dry in the fantasy suite. 68 00:02:55,704 --> 00:02:57,871 (both laugh) 69 00:02:57,954 --> 00:03:01,829 Nobody wants to take my divorced ass to the fantasy suite. 70 00:03:01,913 --> 00:03:04,079 Your husband hasn't fucked you in over two years. 71 00:03:04,162 --> 00:03:06,454 Does that even qualify as divorce? 72 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,287 I'm really happy you're here 73 00:03:08,371 --> 00:03:09,913 to minimize what I'm going through. 74 00:03:09,995 --> 00:03:12,037 -(Jaimie laughs) -It's very special. Thank you. 75 00:03:12,412 --> 00:03:14,412 Okay! Come on! It is time... 76 00:03:16,579 --> 00:03:17,663 Hmm... 77 00:03:17,746 --> 00:03:19,913 Ah, yes! 78 00:03:20,245 --> 00:03:21,371 (Eva exhales) 79 00:03:21,579 --> 00:03:22,537 Okay... 80 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,287 (hip hop music playing) 81 00:03:26,037 --> 00:03:27,079 Hang on. 82 00:03:27,663 --> 00:03:31,329 Eva! We've been talking about this for fucking hours! 83 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:32,995 I know! But it's... 84 00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:35,329 It's kind of a basic bitch move 85 00:03:35,412 --> 00:03:37,871 to cut bangs when you're getting a divorce. 86 00:03:37,954 --> 00:03:39,245 Just give me a second, 87 00:03:39,329 --> 00:03:41,287 let me go through the options one more time. 88 00:03:41,371 --> 00:03:42,621 (groans) 89 00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:43,788 (loud exhale) 90 00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:49,287 Okay, that's the one we agreed on. 91 00:03:49,371 --> 00:03:50,454 That's the one you liked. 92 00:03:50,829 --> 00:03:52,995 See, that's gonna look so cute on you. 93 00:03:53,204 --> 00:03:55,496 Yeah... they're-- they're cool. They're just... 94 00:03:55,579 --> 00:03:58,371 I don't know, are they a lot? They kinda seem like a lot. 95 00:03:58,454 --> 00:04:00,621 Are they me? I don't know... 96 00:04:00,704 --> 00:04:03,371 -Eva: I'm just so lost. -Jaimie: But that's why we're doing this. 97 00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:06,537 This is gonna re-frame your whole situation. 98 00:04:09,746 --> 00:04:12,079 Okay... okay. 99 00:04:12,162 --> 00:04:14,162 This is what I propose: 100 00:04:14,995 --> 00:04:17,788 We just start with a long side-swept bang. 101 00:04:17,871 --> 00:04:18,788 Okay? 102 00:04:18,871 --> 00:04:20,037 And then if you don't like it, 103 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,663 you can just tuck it behind your ears. 104 00:04:21,746 --> 00:04:23,496 It's barely even a commitment! 105 00:04:23,995 --> 00:04:25,454 And then if you do like it, 106 00:04:25,537 --> 00:04:27,287 we can cut from there. 107 00:04:30,663 --> 00:04:31,621 Okay. 108 00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:34,079 -Yes! -I accept your proposal. 109 00:04:34,162 --> 00:04:37,995 -Jaimie: Okay! -I am ready for barely a commitment. 110 00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:41,663 ♪ 111 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:50,829 ♪ 112 00:04:51,579 --> 00:04:52,537 Yeah! 113 00:04:58,704 --> 00:05:01,245 Does-does my dress look weird? 114 00:05:01,329 --> 00:05:02,579 What? 115 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,496 Like it's... 116 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,287 Yeah, it's all weird and baggy. 117 00:05:07,371 --> 00:05:08,621 Seems so long now. 118 00:05:08,704 --> 00:05:10,621 It was up here, wasn't it? 119 00:05:10,995 --> 00:05:13,537 Uh, no. Your dress looks the same. 120 00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:15,829 But I did just cut your hair. 121 00:05:15,913 --> 00:05:18,871 I don't know, do you think maybe it stretched out when I sat down? 122 00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:21,704 Is that a thing that could happen like this much? 123 00:05:22,079 --> 00:05:24,120 I'm gonna, I'm gonna go down to the liquor store 124 00:05:24,204 --> 00:05:26,412 and pick us up another bottle. 125 00:05:26,496 --> 00:05:28,412 And then, why don't you just... 126 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,788 why don't you take some time 127 00:05:30,871 --> 00:05:32,746 to think about your bangs while I'm gone. Okay? 128 00:05:32,995 --> 00:05:34,829 Oh, yeah. Okay. I'll stay here and 129 00:05:34,913 --> 00:05:37,579 try to figure out what the fuck is up with this dress. 130 00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:39,995 Yeah. You do that. 131 00:05:40,079 --> 00:05:41,913 ♪ 132 00:05:42,995 --> 00:05:43,913 Ugh. 133 00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:47,954 What the fuck! 134 00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:49,537 I-- ugh. 135 00:05:51,371 --> 00:05:52,579 (exasperated sigh) 136 00:05:53,412 --> 00:05:54,746 (chime sounds) 137 00:06:00,412 --> 00:06:02,704 (chime sounds) 138 00:06:05,079 --> 00:06:06,871 Oh... 139 00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:14,245 (breathes heavily) 140 00:06:19,663 --> 00:06:20,537 (gasps) 141 00:06:20,621 --> 00:06:21,496 Oh! 142 00:06:21,579 --> 00:06:23,037 (panting) 143 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,454 -(scissors scrape) -Oh! 144 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,663 (scissors scrape) 145 00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:34,079 ♪ 146 00:06:45,621 --> 00:06:46,829 (zipper zips) 147 00:06:48,329 --> 00:06:49,454 Oh! 148 00:06:50,871 --> 00:06:51,954 (exhales) 149 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,120 Wow... 150 00:06:56,412 --> 00:06:58,120 Okay! 151 00:06:59,829 --> 00:07:01,496 Ooh, ha! 152 00:07:03,663 --> 00:07:04,788 Wow. (laughs) 153 00:07:06,329 --> 00:07:07,454 Ah. 154 00:07:08,579 --> 00:07:10,663 (guitar strumming) 155 00:07:15,412 --> 00:07:17,995 (guitar continues) 156 00:07:19,537 --> 00:07:20,663 Walker? 157 00:07:24,079 --> 00:07:25,954 Wow. Hey, Eva. 158 00:07:26,871 --> 00:07:27,995 Damn! 159 00:07:28,663 --> 00:07:29,621 Summer... 160 00:07:30,162 --> 00:07:31,704 was good... 161 00:07:32,412 --> 00:07:33,329 to you. 162 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,120 What are you doing here? 163 00:07:36,204 --> 00:07:37,704 I got the letter... 164 00:07:38,162 --> 00:07:39,120 you left in my locker. 165 00:07:39,204 --> 00:07:40,829 Oh my God, you read my letter. 166 00:07:41,579 --> 00:07:43,204 "Every time I see you... 167 00:07:44,037 --> 00:07:45,913 "I feel like I lose myself... 168 00:07:46,245 --> 00:07:47,245 and I like it." 169 00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:49,579 I really dug that. 170 00:07:49,663 --> 00:07:51,871 Hearts over the "I"s. It was cute. 171 00:07:52,871 --> 00:07:55,204 It inspired me to write a song. 172 00:07:55,913 --> 00:07:57,037 It did? 173 00:08:00,621 --> 00:08:01,829 (guitar strumming) 174 00:08:01,913 --> 00:08:03,496 ♪ There's a girl I know ♪ 175 00:08:04,204 --> 00:08:08,037 ♪ She left a note in my locker ♪ 176 00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:12,371 ♪ She's kinda like my stalker ♪ 177 00:08:13,329 --> 00:08:19,704 ♪ But it's cool 'cause I'm Walker ♪ 178 00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:24,704 ♪ Ah-oooh ♪ 179 00:08:25,579 --> 00:08:28,371 ♪ Every time I see you ♪ 180 00:08:28,704 --> 00:08:31,579 ♪ I feel like I lose myself ♪ 181 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,120 ♪ And I like it ♪ 182 00:08:35,412 --> 00:08:37,162 ♪ Yeah, I like it ♪ 183 00:08:37,245 --> 00:08:41,579 ♪ And I like it ♪ 184 00:08:45,245 --> 00:08:47,621 Yeah, that's all I have so far but, uh, 185 00:08:47,704 --> 00:08:49,204 it's pretty close. 186 00:08:50,037 --> 00:08:51,079 Cool. 187 00:08:52,871 --> 00:08:54,079 Come here. 188 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:58,412 (scoffs) 189 00:09:07,162 --> 00:09:08,162 You smell good. 190 00:09:09,454 --> 00:09:11,287 What kind of shampoo do you use? 191 00:09:12,329 --> 00:09:13,954 Whatever my mom buys. 192 00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:21,496 Mmm. 193 00:09:22,579 --> 00:09:24,621 Um, are you even 18? 194 00:09:25,329 --> 00:09:26,788 (laughs) 195 00:09:33,371 --> 00:09:35,454 Do you feel like you've lost yourself yet? 196 00:09:37,829 --> 00:09:38,788 Uh... 197 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,871 I don't know. 198 00:09:41,454 --> 00:09:42,537 Well... 199 00:09:43,329 --> 00:09:45,162 we better fix that. 200 00:09:49,829 --> 00:09:52,245 Uh, okay. Oh God, I'm sorry. 201 00:09:52,329 --> 00:09:56,663 (stammers): I don't know if my letter is exactly... 202 00:09:58,412 --> 00:09:59,621 accurate. 203 00:09:59,704 --> 00:10:00,663 Anymore. 204 00:10:01,079 --> 00:10:03,704 What do you-- what do you-- what do you mean? 205 00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:05,120 Eva: Um... 206 00:10:06,829 --> 00:10:07,788 (exhales 207 00:10:08,454 --> 00:10:09,995 I didn't really like your song. 208 00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:12,496 And I'm having a hard time getting past it. 209 00:10:18,663 --> 00:10:19,788 (clears throat) 210 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:21,537 Wh-where you going? 211 00:10:24,079 --> 00:10:26,496 I gotta go to band practice. 212 00:10:27,371 --> 00:10:28,496 Or whatever. 213 00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:31,162 (pop) 214 00:10:33,412 --> 00:10:34,537 What? 215 00:10:35,371 --> 00:10:36,537 Oh... 216 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,204 Okay. 217 00:10:38,829 --> 00:10:39,704 Okay... 218 00:10:40,037 --> 00:10:42,162 I'm going crazy maybe, maybe... 219 00:10:42,245 --> 00:10:44,245 I'm-I'm losing my mind. 220 00:10:44,621 --> 00:10:46,120 (breathing heavily) 221 00:10:46,204 --> 00:10:47,120 Okay. Okay. 222 00:10:47,204 --> 00:10:48,454 You're okay. 223 00:10:48,537 --> 00:10:49,954 Okay. Okay. 224 00:10:50,037 --> 00:10:51,412 -Oh! -(scissors scrape) 225 00:10:52,037 --> 00:10:53,079 Ooh. 226 00:10:53,537 --> 00:10:54,454 Oh God. 227 00:10:54,537 --> 00:10:55,995 Oh God... 228 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,204 (scissors scrape) 229 00:11:01,913 --> 00:11:03,204 (scissors tapping) 230 00:11:15,829 --> 00:11:17,871 Ah. Oh. 231 00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:21,954 Ugh. 232 00:11:22,037 --> 00:11:23,995 -(toilet flushing) -(door opens) 233 00:11:24,079 --> 00:11:25,329 Eva: (gasps) Derek? 234 00:11:25,537 --> 00:11:26,621 What happened to you? 235 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:27,829 Oh... 236 00:11:27,913 --> 00:11:29,245 Are you done with that? 237 00:11:31,788 --> 00:11:33,245 What are you doing here? 238 00:11:33,329 --> 00:11:35,162 Why are you in this hotel room? 239 00:11:35,454 --> 00:11:38,120 I'm not in a hotel room. I'm at home. 240 00:11:38,204 --> 00:11:39,079 What? 241 00:11:39,162 --> 00:11:40,537 This is not our-- I mean, 242 00:11:40,621 --> 00:11:42,746 this is not your house! 243 00:11:42,829 --> 00:11:44,746 Ugh, Eva, what does it matter? 244 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,663 You are not supposed to be here. 245 00:11:46,746 --> 00:11:50,621 This is my divorce party and it is a Derek-free zone! 246 00:11:52,788 --> 00:11:54,496 You need me to be here. 247 00:11:55,579 --> 00:11:56,954 What? No, I don't. 248 00:11:57,954 --> 00:11:59,788 I mean, look at you. It's typical. 249 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,412 You always need my help figuring out who you are. 250 00:12:02,496 --> 00:12:04,871 -No. I don't. -Yeah. 251 00:12:04,954 --> 00:12:06,037 You need me so you don't 252 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,954 have to deal with your own shit. 253 00:12:09,037 --> 00:12:09,954 No. 254 00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:11,829 I needed you to fuck me! 255 00:12:11,913 --> 00:12:13,037 Or want to fuck me! 256 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,204 See, you're doing it right now. 257 00:12:14,287 --> 00:12:15,621 You know, don't even start! 258 00:12:15,704 --> 00:12:17,412 You are such a fucking child! 259 00:12:17,496 --> 00:12:19,204 Nice. Nice. Have your little tantrum. 260 00:12:19,287 --> 00:12:22,162 Oh, well, if I don't have a tantrum, then you don't hear me! 261 00:12:22,245 --> 00:12:23,412 Oh! I hear you. Okay? 262 00:12:23,496 --> 00:12:25,954 Your low blows are coming in loud and clear. 263 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:27,120 Good! 264 00:12:27,454 --> 00:12:30,162 (laughs) 265 00:12:30,995 --> 00:12:32,120 Don't laugh at me. 266 00:12:32,329 --> 00:12:33,454 (laughing continues) 267 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,287 Don't laugh at me! 268 00:12:36,621 --> 00:12:37,995 (toilet flushing) 269 00:12:38,663 --> 00:12:39,537 (Eva gasps) 270 00:12:39,913 --> 00:12:42,454 What happened to you? Are you done with that? 271 00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:44,954 What? 272 00:12:45,037 --> 00:12:46,037 We just went through this. 273 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,287 What the fuck is going on? 274 00:12:47,371 --> 00:12:49,120 Eva, what does it matter? 275 00:12:49,204 --> 00:12:50,371 What does it matter?! 276 00:12:50,829 --> 00:12:53,412 Derek, if you're defying the laws of physics, 277 00:12:53,496 --> 00:12:54,496 it fucking matters. 278 00:12:54,579 --> 00:12:56,496 So seriously, why are you here? 279 00:12:56,579 --> 00:13:00,704 My guess is to save you from whoever is doing that to your hair. 280 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,829 -I did this to my hair! -Oh. 281 00:13:02,913 --> 00:13:04,245 Okay, well, I guess I'm... 282 00:13:04,329 --> 00:13:06,287 here to save you from yourself. 283 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:08,496 -Fuck you, Derek. -Oh... 284 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:09,746 I don't need to be saved. 285 00:13:09,829 --> 00:13:10,913 It's just a joke! 286 00:13:10,995 --> 00:13:12,621 -Glad I'm just a joke to you. -Eva. 287 00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:16,746 Why do you always twist every goddamn thing I say 288 00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:20,454 into some evil bullshit so that you look like a victim, 289 00:13:20,537 --> 00:13:23,287 and I look like some asshole who's trying to ruin your life? 290 00:13:23,371 --> 00:13:25,954 Fuck you! I'm not a victim, okay? 291 00:13:26,204 --> 00:13:28,037 I'm just going through a lot right now. 292 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,954 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You're always the only one 293 00:13:31,037 --> 00:13:32,663 going through any shit. 294 00:13:32,871 --> 00:13:37,329 You're also the only one who never does anything to change it. 295 00:13:37,537 --> 00:13:38,496 Fuck you! 296 00:13:38,579 --> 00:13:39,663 (toilet flushing) 297 00:13:39,746 --> 00:13:41,663 Wow, this is getting old. Why am I here? 298 00:13:41,746 --> 00:13:43,663 That's what I keep asking you. 299 00:13:44,371 --> 00:13:45,579 You need me to be here. 300 00:13:45,995 --> 00:13:47,412 No, I needed you-- 301 00:13:47,496 --> 00:13:48,829 (toilet flushing) 302 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:50,621 (Eva gasps) 303 00:13:51,037 --> 00:13:51,995 What happened to you? 304 00:13:52,079 --> 00:13:53,871 Fuck you! I'm not a victim! 305 00:13:53,954 --> 00:13:55,663 -(toilet flushes) -What happened to you? 306 00:13:55,746 --> 00:13:59,162 Oh, well, if I don't have a tantrum, then you don't hear me! 307 00:13:59,245 --> 00:14:00,621 -(toilet flushes) -(laughs) 308 00:14:00,704 --> 00:14:03,329 And yet, you still do nothing to change it. 309 00:14:03,412 --> 00:14:06,663 Don't even start! You are such a fucking child! 310 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,829 I'm just going through a lot right now... 311 00:14:08,913 --> 00:14:09,829 (Derek laughs) 312 00:14:09,913 --> 00:14:11,871 Yeah, you're always the only one 313 00:14:11,954 --> 00:14:13,287 going through any shit. 314 00:14:13,371 --> 00:14:16,579 You're also the only one who never does anything! 315 00:14:16,663 --> 00:14:17,871 to change it... 316 00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:20,621 (scissors scrape) 317 00:14:21,746 --> 00:14:24,537 (ominous music playing) 318 00:14:29,245 --> 00:14:30,913 There. I changed something. 319 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:32,913 Are you happy now? 320 00:14:52,496 --> 00:14:53,454 (quietly): Oh! 321 00:14:56,454 --> 00:14:59,287 I am not okay. 322 00:15:11,788 --> 00:15:13,995 Oh... wow. 323 00:15:14,704 --> 00:15:16,496 Okay... 324 00:15:20,079 --> 00:15:21,537 Oh. 325 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:24,871 (breathes out) That is a look. 326 00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,037 Fucking bow? 327 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,204 Okay... 328 00:15:30,954 --> 00:15:33,204 -They look great, babe. -Oh my God! 329 00:15:33,537 --> 00:15:35,329 You know what's really scary 330 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,704 is that you don't trust that you know who you are. 331 00:15:39,162 --> 00:15:41,204 -I know who I am. -Oh, you do? 332 00:15:41,621 --> 00:15:44,663 Oh! Tell me all about her. 333 00:15:45,329 --> 00:15:46,496 Um, okay. 334 00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:48,621 (clears throat) I... 335 00:15:49,454 --> 00:15:51,120 I'm a woman. Obviously. 336 00:15:51,371 --> 00:15:53,579 Who is 33, I mean, 337 00:15:53,663 --> 00:15:55,704 34 years old. Um... 338 00:15:56,704 --> 00:15:58,371 I grew up in Seattle. 339 00:15:59,371 --> 00:16:00,746 I like to read. 340 00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:05,995 -I don't know. Who the fuck are you? -It doesn't matter who I am! 341 00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:07,537 All of this. 342 00:16:07,621 --> 00:16:09,579 All of this... 343 00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:12,704 mmm, is all about you. 344 00:16:13,788 --> 00:16:15,537 All of this? What do you mean? What-- 345 00:16:16,037 --> 00:16:17,954 -Did you do this? -You did this, babe. 346 00:16:18,037 --> 00:16:19,329 -(Poppy laughs) -But why? 347 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,537 Because, it's time for us to start this shit over! 348 00:16:22,621 --> 00:16:25,287 It is time to level the fuck up. 349 00:16:25,371 --> 00:16:27,829 (laughs) Right, babe? 350 00:16:28,704 --> 00:16:30,245 Well, I'm already doing that. 351 00:16:32,204 --> 00:16:33,788 Yeah, but you keep telling yourself 352 00:16:33,871 --> 00:16:37,204 the same old little stories over and over again. 353 00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,829 You 33-, 34-year-old woman. 354 00:16:39,913 --> 00:16:42,579 Who likes to what? Read? 355 00:16:42,663 --> 00:16:43,663 I am that. 356 00:16:43,913 --> 00:16:45,079 The fuck do you want from me? 357 00:16:45,162 --> 00:16:47,162 Is that really who you are?! 358 00:16:47,245 --> 00:16:50,287 Or is that just a little collection of facts? 359 00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:52,746 You need to realize... 360 00:16:54,412 --> 00:16:55,746 your past self... 361 00:16:56,454 --> 00:16:57,454 mmm... 362 00:16:57,537 --> 00:17:00,329 it is not your present self. 363 00:17:00,412 --> 00:17:02,204 Okay, take it easy, Brené Brown. 364 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:03,245 Say it. 365 00:17:04,871 --> 00:17:06,913 My past self is not my present self. 366 00:17:06,995 --> 00:17:09,245 I don't believe a word that you're saying. 367 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:10,621 Say it. 368 00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:12,995 My past self is not my present self! 369 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:15,371 I am waving goodbye to my past self, 370 00:17:15,454 --> 00:17:18,245 as I eagerly take my future form. 371 00:17:22,454 --> 00:17:24,995 I am waving goodbye to my past self, 372 00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:28,204 as I eagerly awake my future form. 373 00:17:28,287 --> 00:17:31,496 My best self is ever emerging. 374 00:17:31,579 --> 00:17:34,454 And no one can stop her! 375 00:17:34,537 --> 00:17:36,454 -Oh, come on. -Oh, you come on! 376 00:17:36,537 --> 00:17:38,579 Babe! You can't stop now! 377 00:17:38,663 --> 00:17:40,704 We're just gettin' started. 378 00:17:40,788 --> 00:17:42,621 My best happiness... 379 00:17:42,871 --> 00:17:47,245 does not depend on anybody else's best happiness. 380 00:17:47,621 --> 00:17:50,204 My best happiness doesn't depend on 381 00:17:50,287 --> 00:17:51,995 anyone else's best happiness. 382 00:17:52,079 --> 00:17:54,788 I am not that girl... 383 00:17:54,871 --> 00:17:58,663 who couldn't leave a love letter in Walker Young's locker. 384 00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,704 I am not that girl who couldn't leave 385 00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:03,454 a love letter in Walker Young's locker. 386 00:18:03,537 --> 00:18:06,871 But you didn't leave the letter so, aren't you that girl? 387 00:18:06,954 --> 00:18:08,245 Limitations are perceived and not real 388 00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:09,871 and I am boundless! 389 00:18:09,954 --> 00:18:11,746 Hey. Look at me. Say it. 390 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:15,371 Limitations are perceived and I am boundless? 391 00:18:15,454 --> 00:18:18,412 Ohh, I am not the girl who buried her head 392 00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:20,621 in Derek's metaphorical sand. 393 00:18:20,704 --> 00:18:23,412 Admit it. You miss burying your head in my sand. 394 00:18:23,496 --> 00:18:24,954 -Derek? -Poppy: Forget him, babe. 395 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,871 I'm a competent member of the team. Say it. 396 00:18:26,954 --> 00:18:28,746 What? What team?! 397 00:18:28,829 --> 00:18:30,663 My uniqueness, will lift me 398 00:18:30,746 --> 00:18:32,204 from the gutter of mediocrity. 399 00:18:32,287 --> 00:18:33,788 Derek: Your uniqueness? 400 00:18:33,871 --> 00:18:35,120 Aren't you just copying her? 401 00:18:35,204 --> 00:18:37,287 I am now discovering my light 402 00:18:37,371 --> 00:18:39,663 that will illuminate my path to greatness. 403 00:18:39,746 --> 00:18:42,621 Huh. I think everyone just saw you as kinda average. 404 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,329 My light burns like a thousand lighters 405 00:18:45,412 --> 00:18:48,287 at a Pearl Jam concert in 1992. 406 00:18:48,371 --> 00:18:50,079 You're never gonna figure yourself out. 407 00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:54,579 (overlapping chatter) 408 00:18:54,663 --> 00:18:56,287 Poppy: I wanna rock out with my cock out, 409 00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:58,704 for the rest of eternity. 410 00:18:58,788 --> 00:19:00,287 Derek: Who are you without me? 411 00:19:00,371 --> 00:19:02,079 Poppy: No, no. Don't look at him. 412 00:19:02,162 --> 00:19:03,663 Hey! Look at me. 413 00:19:03,746 --> 00:19:05,788 (voices continue) 414 00:19:05,871 --> 00:19:07,037 ♪ 415 00:19:09,204 --> 00:19:11,329 (music grows louder) 416 00:19:11,412 --> 00:19:12,537 (voices continue) 417 00:19:12,621 --> 00:19:13,579 (scissors scrape) 418 00:19:14,537 --> 00:19:17,663 ♪ 419 00:19:20,913 --> 00:19:22,037 (quiet sigh) 420 00:19:32,579 --> 00:19:34,120 (breathes) 421 00:19:36,329 --> 00:19:38,913 Oh! I'm sorry that took so long. 422 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,871 You will not believe what just happened out there. 423 00:19:42,663 --> 00:19:43,746 Oh... 424 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,120 Are you okay? 425 00:19:54,954 --> 00:19:56,079 Eva... 426 00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,621 Will you accept this rose? 427 00:19:59,287 --> 00:20:01,829 We don't have to... stay in a fantasy suite. 428 00:20:01,913 --> 00:20:04,079 We could see where the night takes us, hmm? 429 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,120 -(sniffles) -Eva? 430 00:20:09,079 --> 00:20:10,704 Oh, honey! 431 00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:13,120 (gasps) What happened? 432 00:20:14,287 --> 00:20:16,537 I didn't mean to pressure you to cut bangs. 433 00:20:16,621 --> 00:20:19,995 -I hope you didn't do this because of me. -No... 434 00:20:20,329 --> 00:20:21,287 It was not your fault. 435 00:20:21,371 --> 00:20:22,871 I just wanted you to feel like 436 00:20:22,954 --> 00:20:24,162 the best version of yourself. 437 00:20:24,245 --> 00:20:25,454 I know. 438 00:20:26,037 --> 00:20:27,162 Oh... 439 00:20:30,454 --> 00:20:33,287 I just feel like I have to have 440 00:20:33,579 --> 00:20:35,871 everything figured out right now. 441 00:20:35,954 --> 00:20:38,162 And it's too much. 442 00:20:42,995 --> 00:20:45,995 You know it doesn't have to happen all at once, right? 443 00:20:47,995 --> 00:20:50,287 But I don't even know where to start. 444 00:20:53,371 --> 00:20:54,829 Ah, fuck... 445 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:57,371 Look at me, I'm a fucking mess! 446 00:20:57,663 --> 00:20:59,788 Jaimie: You have to be gentle with yourself. 447 00:21:00,829 --> 00:21:03,454 Starting over isn't easy for anyone. 448 00:21:04,995 --> 00:21:05,954 (scoffs) 449 00:21:06,913 --> 00:21:08,329 Jaimie: Tsk, ah... 450 00:21:13,537 --> 00:21:16,663 -(sniffles) -Aw! (chuckles) 451 00:21:16,995 --> 00:21:18,995 You're like a little baby. 452 00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:22,871 (high-pitched): You're like a brand new little baby. 453 00:21:24,371 --> 00:21:28,037 (imitating baby) 454 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,454 (both laugh) 455 00:21:29,537 --> 00:21:30,954 (babbling continues) 456 00:21:31,037 --> 00:21:32,287 Little baby. 457 00:21:32,371 --> 00:21:33,913 (laughter) 458 00:21:36,788 --> 00:21:38,287 Oh God... 459 00:21:38,371 --> 00:21:39,454 (sniffles) 460 00:21:39,537 --> 00:21:41,162 I know... 461 00:21:43,579 --> 00:21:44,579 (chime sounds) 462 00:21:44,663 --> 00:21:45,746 What? 463 00:21:48,871 --> 00:21:51,371 ♪ 464 00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:54,371 (chime sounds) 465 00:22:03,537 --> 00:22:04,704 Shave me. 466 00:22:08,287 --> 00:22:10,663 (razor buzzing) 467 00:22:12,245 --> 00:22:15,371 ♪ 468 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:12,287 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 30490

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