All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S03E07.Martin.Goldfinger.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,174 (whistling) 2 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,180 - Hi there! 3 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:13,914 - Sir, the only way that you could ever have a high IQ 4 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,449 is to go up in a blimp. 5 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:16,950 - O'Hara, you're hardly in a position 6 00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,852 to appraise an intelligent person. 7 00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:21,089 You see, it takes one to know one. 8 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,590 - Well, since it takes one to know one, Brennan, 9 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:25,359 you should be much better at spotting thieves. 10 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:26,494 You've been stealing 11 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,597 the police department's money for years. 12 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:32,366 - Yeah, Uncle Martin. 13 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,834 - Yes, Tim. 14 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,104 - I know you enjoy playing verbal ping pong with Brennan, 15 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,871 but don't you think that that last backhand 16 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,873 was sort of a nasty crack? 17 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,343 - The only nasty crack about Mr. Brennan 18 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,777 is his big mouth. 19 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:49,983 - Hey Uncle Martin, I'm a little worried about you. 20 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:51,018 I mean, the way you've been acting, 21 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,120 you haven't been yourself lately. 22 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,854 - Now you're being ridiculous. 23 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,489 We both know there's only one person on Earth 24 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:57,991 who could be like me, and that's me. 25 00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,593 Now let's drop the subject, 26 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:02,396 there is nothing different about me. 27 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,299 - Uncle Martin, the chair. 28 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:06,667 - Just have to get my thoughts on something else 29 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,436 besides that Brennan. 30 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,440 - Uncle Martin, the table turned. 31 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,842 - Not quite, but I'll turn the tables on that Brennan yet, 32 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:15,676 or my name isn't-- 33 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:16,510 - Gold. 34 00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:17,778 - Gold. 35 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,647 What in heaven's name are you talking about? 36 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,814 You know what my name is. 37 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,616 My name isn't Gold. 38 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,818 - The table and the chair. 39 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,089 Uncle Martin, they both changed into gold. 40 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,558 - Gold? 41 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,694 Good grief, Tim, I'm not well. 42 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,329 - I don't think I am either. 43 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,565 - Careful, careful, Tim, don't get too close to me. 44 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,668 Your sterling character could become 14 carat. 45 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,136 - You mean to tell me 46 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,238 that everything you touch 47 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:47,040 is gonna change into gold? 48 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,377 - Well, let's hope not everything. 49 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,478 (sneezes) 50 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:51,345 - Oh, here. 51 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,380 Here you go. 52 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,484 Well, I've heard of blowing a fortune, 53 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,352 but that's ridiculous. 54 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,161 (beeping) 55 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,172 (fast beeping) 56 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:20,708 (wacky music) 57 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:48,769 I know it's crazy. 58 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,504 I mean, I've heard the fable 59 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,774 about King Midas and the Midas touch, but-- 60 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,209 - Fable? 61 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,510 My naive, young friend, 62 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,078 if you could research the subject properly, 63 00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,480 you would find that King Midas 64 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,482 is merely a corruption of King Martis, 65 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,550 the Latin name for-- 66 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,417 - Martis? 67 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,119 You mean-- 68 00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,422 - My first case of gold starvation. 69 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:11,058 As you Earthlings require iron in your diet, 70 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,060 we Martians need gold. 71 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,729 There's been none in my diet since I left Mars. 72 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,130 - But I just don't get it. 73 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,433 I mean, if you need gold, 74 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:21,134 how come you're turning everything into it? 75 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:24,104 Or are you gonna eat the table? 76 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,039 - Well, to compensate for the lack of it in my system, 77 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:28,409 my body is manufacturing its own. 78 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,444 Unfortunately, inedible. 79 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,781 But as long as I have a gold deficiency, 80 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:37,285 everything my hands touch will be turned to gold. 81 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:40,554 - Do you realize that just a few minutes ago 82 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,989 this was nothing more than a fugitive 83 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,024 from a secondhand store. 84 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:44,892 And now... 85 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,928 Well, I just can't get over it. 86 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,163 - Me either, until I find the cure. 87 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:51,865 Until then, we've got to keep me away 88 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,534 from everything and everybody, 89 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,970 specially that flatfoot with head to mat. 90 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,575 - Goodnight, Martin. 91 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:03,944 - Goodnight, Tim. 92 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,347 - Sleep carefully. 93 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:16,957 - Yoo-hoo! 94 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,296 - Good morning, Lorelei. 95 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:25,799 - Oh, Bill, I'm so happy you could make it today. 96 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,468 I've got something special planned. 97 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,503 I've been preparing that delicious barbecue sauce 98 00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:30,838 you love so much. 99 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:31,805 - Good! 100 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,140 - And I want you and Martin-- 101 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,708 - No good. 102 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,244 - Now, Bill, I know what happened last night, 103 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,112 but I insist that you make up. 104 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,349 It'll show Martin what a big person you are. 105 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,483 Now take my word, 106 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,651 when you shake his hand, 107 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,754 he'll see what you're really made of. 108 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:54,462 - Sodium, calcium, phosphorous. 109 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,766 But not an ounce of gold in any of your earthly food. 110 00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,700 - Hey, you know, 111 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,101 now that you've mentioned it, 112 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,871 I wonder what gold is selling for now by the ounce. 113 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,105 - Somewhere on this backward planet, 114 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,475 there must be a food containing gold. 115 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,142 - Well, if there is, I couldn't help you. 116 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,980 Unless, how about a goldenrod salad? 117 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,348 - Not goldenrod, 118 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:19,052 but there is a place where they have gold bricks. 119 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,754 - In the Army. 120 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:24,324 - A little spot in Kentucky called Fort Knox. 121 00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,226 You mentioned salad. 122 00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,128 Ah, now what I need is a diet of greens 123 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,665 that has been grown in a golden-rich soil. 124 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:35,302 - Well, the only thing that grows in vaults is interest. 125 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,604 - In the vault, yes. 126 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,940 But gold dust settles on those vault floors 127 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,575 and when they scrub those floors, 128 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:44,812 the water carries gold salts out through the drains 129 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,847 and into the soil outside. 130 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,717 Now there must be some kind of a creek or stream 131 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,318 with plants growing. 132 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:55,723 What I need is a salad made of those plants. 133 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,224 - Oh, I get it, 134 00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:00,528 sort of a mixed greens salad where the green is negotiable. 135 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,362 - But I don't dare leave the house. 136 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,131 I can't even touch a plane ticket. 137 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,366 - Yeah, well, I don't know what to tell you. 138 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,702 I mean, I'd be glad to fly down for you, 139 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,939 but I'm afraid I wouldn't be of any use at all. 140 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,207 You see, all streams look alike to me. 141 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,676 - Yes. 142 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:19,680 We'll have to locate the one that flows past the vault. 143 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:30,357 Fort Knox, Fort Knox, 144 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:35,629 Fort Knox, Fort Knox, 145 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,831 Fort Knox. 146 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,033 There it is, 147 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:43,370 a stream right beyond the southeast corner. 148 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,739 - A floor plan of Fort Knox? 149 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,710 Don't tell me you're the man who designed it. 150 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,411 - No, his teacher. 151 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:55,883 Not a bad job of switching my original plan. 152 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,284 Look it over carefully. 153 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,552 - Oh no, not me. 154 00:06:58,586 --> 00:06:59,887 Listen, I might talk in my sleep. 155 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,088 You said the southeast corner? 156 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,956 The southeast corner is fine for me! 157 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,424 As far as I'm concerned, 158 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,260 I want this hunk of evidence gone. 159 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,566 Southeast corner, south-- 160 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,433 Whoops. 161 00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,071 Southeast corner. 162 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,110 - You mean you won't? 163 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,344 - I'm sorry, Lorelei, 164 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:25,345 but my mother told me to associate 165 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:26,980 only with my equals and better. 166 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:27,915 - Oh, Bill. 167 00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:30,117 - Hey. 168 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,352 - Oh, it's just a piece of burnt paper, silly. 169 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,854 - Oh. 170 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,388 N-O-X? 171 00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:37,424 Oh yeah, this should give you some idea of his incompetence, 172 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,627 burning papers in his fireplace. 173 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,228 - Well, maybe he was out of firewood. 174 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:42,930 - He should've used his head. 175 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,766 And I mean that two ways. 176 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,702 - Oh, you're just impossible, you-- 177 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,337 You, you, man, you. 178 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,174 - Oh, Lorelei, try to understand. 179 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,077 - All I understand is I am ashamed of you, Bill Brennan. 180 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,211 I have nothing more to say. 181 00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,613 You just leave me speechless. 182 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,048 - But, Lorelei. 183 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,516 - Except that you're being pigheaded and petty, 184 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,217 and letting your ridiculous masculine pride 185 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,619 get in the way of my happiness, 186 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,454 because I certainly couldn't be happy. 187 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,456 Nobody could, when their two most favorite friends 188 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,758 are so antagonistic to each other 189 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,059 that they won't even make an effort 190 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,061 to let bygones be bygones even for me 191 00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,062 and I'm just-- 192 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,264 Well, I'm just speechless. 193 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,968 - I didn't want to-- 194 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,770 I apologize for what I did. 195 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,872 I hope I didn't make you unhappy. 196 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,641 - Oh, Bill, you make me so proud. 197 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,478 I'll go call the boys to come down 198 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,013 and we'll all have dinner together 199 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:36,550 and I know you'll both be as good as gold. 200 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,830 - If I leave at 8:30, 201 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,699 I'll arrive there at 12:30. 202 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,101 Now, it'll just give me time if I have two hours to-- 203 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,703 (phone ringing) 204 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:56,570 Hello. 205 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,773 Oh hi, Mrs. Brown. 206 00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:02,242 Oh sure, just a second. 207 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,076 - Tim. 208 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,511 - Hmm? 209 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,279 Oh, I forgot. 210 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,849 - I almost turned every telephone in the world into gold. 211 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:13,286 - Well, that would've made the phone company pretty happy. 212 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,055 - Oh, hello. 213 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,591 Oh, hello, Mrs. Brown. 214 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:18,826 Dinner? 215 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,293 Well, that's very generous of you, 216 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,162 but truthfully, I don't think that-- 217 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,496 I don't think it would be possible. 218 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,700 - But Martin, I've been working all morning 219 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,068 basting my ribs. 220 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,070 The last time I made them, 221 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:33,173 you and Tim said you liked them. 222 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,541 Wonderful. 223 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,276 Then you'll come? 224 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,210 - Oh, we would, 225 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,846 only Tim has to leave town. 226 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,648 We were planning on just grabbing a bite 227 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,882 so he could catch his plane. 228 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:42,816 You understand? 229 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,084 - I certainly do, 230 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,954 you just don't like my ribs. 231 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,555 - Of course we do. 232 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:52,693 In fact, I can't think of anyone whose ribs I admire more. 233 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,362 - Good, dinner will be at six. 234 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:59,266 - I'm sure it'll be very cozy with just the three of us. 235 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,701 Brennan? 236 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,269 What, hello? 237 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,637 Hello, Mrs. Brown? 238 00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:04,571 Mrs. Brown? 239 00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:06,439 She hung up. 240 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,641 - Oh, boy. 241 00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:08,842 Well, that's gonna be a marvelous dinner 242 00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:10,243 with old eagle eye Brennan there. 243 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,311 Listen, you can't get over the gold standard 244 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,314 long enough to pick up a napkin. 245 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,717 - For an intelligent man, 246 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:20,087 sometimes I can be pretty dumb. 247 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,521 - Oh, that must be them. 248 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,890 - Unfortunately. 249 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,625 - Oh, there you are. 250 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,261 Oh, I'm so glad you could come. 251 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,065 And now, before we sit down, 252 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,902 I insist that you two silly boys shake hands 253 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,369 and make up. 254 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,971 - Mrs. Brown, I knew you'd want us to shake hands 255 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,539 and even though I'd enjoy nothing more 256 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,341 than shaking hands with Lieutenant Brennan, 257 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,476 as you can see, a sprain. 258 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:45,913 - From reaching around to pat yourself 259 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,514 on the back, no doubt. 260 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,649 - Now, now, now, now, we'll have no more of this. 261 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:52,285 And Tim and I will see to it that you two behave. 262 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,787 Won't we, Tim? 263 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,455 - Well, I'm perfectly willing to give it a try. 264 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:59,659 Of course, I've never refereed at a dinner before. 265 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,396 Uncle Martin, uh... 266 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,599 We'll be sitting over here? 267 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,335 - Yes. 268 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,271 Oh, thank you, Bill. 269 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,105 - Thank you, Tim. 270 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:12,973 - Mm-hm. 271 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,179 - Now, you boys just help yourselves. 272 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,547 (clears throat) 273 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,549 Oh, well, except poor Martin. 274 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,885 Lorelei will help you with your ribs. 275 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,286 - Thank you, Mrs. Brown. 276 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,388 - Mm, delicious, Lorelei. 277 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,924 - Mm-hmm, they're sensational. 278 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,864 Uncle Martin, what are you gonna do? 279 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,766 You can't just leave them on top of your plate like that. 280 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,467 - I don't intend to. 281 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:47,775 - Oh! 282 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,110 - Allow me. 283 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,485 - Uncle Martin, the window. 284 00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,753 - [Bill] There. 285 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:14,601 - Mrs. Brown, that meal was absolutely delicious. 286 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:15,869 And I don't mean to be rude, 287 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,071 but as the saying goes, eat and run. 288 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,074 I'm afraid I have to catch an 8:30 flight. 289 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,876 - Oh, and if you will excuse me, 290 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,045 I'm afraid I have to leave too. 291 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,581 - Yes, Uncle Martin has to give me a hand. 292 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,719 - Thank you, Tim. 293 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,223 - Well, I'm so glad you could come. 294 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,658 I'm awfully sorry you have to leave us so soon. 295 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,293 - It was marvelous, Mrs. Brown, thank you. 296 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,494 Thanks. 297 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,863 - Goodnight, thank you very much. 298 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:43,696 - Goodbye. 299 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,165 - Yes, goodnight. 300 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:51,438 - I must say, I'm very flattered you all enjoyed my dinner, 301 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,841 especially Martin, even with his injured hand. 302 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,976 Did you see the way he cleaned his plate? 303 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:56,844 - Well. 304 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,316 He sure did. 305 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:04,885 - Like a good boy. 306 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,487 - Like a Tasmanian wolfhound. 307 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,922 - Now, Bill. 308 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,123 - Lorelei, look. 309 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,025 Who eats spareribs bones and all? 310 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:14,194 - Well, he must've been starved. 311 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,696 You know, those boys don't eat properly up there. 312 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,732 - Unless he dropped them under the-- 313 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,471 - What is it? 314 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:27,440 - Looks like gold, feels like gold, 315 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,043 tastes like gold. 316 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,744 - Oh, isn't that interesting. 317 00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,346 - I'd say downright peculiar. 318 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,916 What's O'Hara doing with a chunk of gold? 319 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,418 - Oh dear, eating all those bones, 320 00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,587 I'll bet he lost a filling. 321 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:41,855 - This size? 322 00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:44,791 He'd have to have teeth like a hippopotamus. 323 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,227 You know, possession of gold bullion is illegal 324 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,930 in the United States these days. 325 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:55,068 I think I'm onto something bigger than O'Hara's molars. 326 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,041 Oh Lorelei, that's not true. 327 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,076 You know I never jump to conclusions. 328 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,511 I'm not that kind of detective. 329 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,313 But if the only place that's authorized 330 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:10,017 to have gold in this form is Fort Knox... 331 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,384 K-N-O-X. 332 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,752 N-O-X? 333 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:18,025 - Now, Bill, I think you're-- 334 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,336 What is it? 335 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,904 - It's a floor plan. 336 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,472 Part of a floor plan. 337 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,242 A building with very thick walls, 338 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,444 something N-O-X. 339 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:42,582 May I use your phone? 340 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,683 Line of duty. 341 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,219 - Oh gracious. 342 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,933 - Airport information, please. 343 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,434 Information. 344 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:04,671 How many planes do you have departing tonight at 8:30? 345 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,974 Yes, where is it bound? 346 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,575 Wichita, St. Louis. 347 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,979 Did you say Fort Knox? 348 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,048 Aha! 349 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,659 - [Lorelei] Good morning, Bill. 350 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:27,527 - Brennan? 351 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,198 8:30 in the morning. 352 00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:32,899 He's onto something. 353 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,769 - Yes, Lorelei, I think you'll be needing a sign. 354 00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:40,974 Quote, "three room, garage, apartment for rent," unquote. 355 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,144 - Will they be moving? 356 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,778 - Shh! 357 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,248 I should say very, very soon. 358 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:58,258 Young O'Hara turned up last night in Fort Knox. 359 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,795 May I use this ladder? 360 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,663 - Yes. 361 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,168 You're not thinking of putting up the rent sign with that? 362 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,636 - Oh, no. 363 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,905 But I think it may help me to get O'Hara a long lease in, 364 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:16,276 shall we say, a federal housing project. 365 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,193 (screaming) 366 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,165 - Happy landing. 367 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,534 Now, what to do, what to do? 368 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,471 - Oh, dear. 369 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:21,508 Bill, Bill, are you alright? 370 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,375 Bill? 371 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:24,511 - Lorelei? 372 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:31,384 Lorelei, that's how they're smuggling it out of the country. 373 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,556 As furniture, solid gold furniture. 374 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,326 - Oh dear, he must've had a nasty blow on the head. 375 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,827 Oh, yes, yes, there's a bump. 376 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,329 - It's even bigger than I dreamed. 377 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,163 - Yeah, well, don't worry about it, 378 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,198 I'll put some ice on it. 379 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,339 - Open up, open up! 380 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,241 Open up in the name of the law. 381 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,809 - I'd ask you in, Brennan, but you seem to be in already. 382 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,778 - I've got you this time, O'Hara. 383 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,981 I'm gonna confiscate every piece of... 384 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:04,717 Where is it? 385 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,386 - Where is what? 386 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,421 - The solid gold furniture that was right there. 387 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,256 And you can't deny it, 388 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,523 I've already seen it. 389 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,058 - Then I suggest you see something else, 390 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,693 like a good optometrist. 391 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,662 - I don't know where you've hidden it, 392 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:16,996 but I'm going to find it. 393 00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,932 - Ah, you do have a search warrant. 394 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,535 - You might as well cooperate, O'Hara. 395 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,637 That accomplice of yours, Tim O'Hara, 396 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,473 has already been arrested at Fort Knox. 397 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,807 - Somebody mention my name? 398 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,641 - Have a nice trip, Tim? 399 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:29,476 - Yeah. 400 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,743 - How did you get here? 401 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:31,944 I teletyped Fort Knox to have you picked up. 402 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,146 - Oh, come on, Detective Brennan, 403 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,481 they can't arrest you for picking grass, 404 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,782 except for in front of a public library. 405 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,750 (laughter) 406 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,186 - Pardon me, 407 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,488 I'm going to check on that. 408 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,792 You haven't seen the last of me. 409 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:46,993 - What a pity. 410 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:53,966 - But I saw it. 411 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:54,834 I did. 412 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,243 - Now the test. 413 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:07,380 Tim, look, it's immune to my touch. 414 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,349 It contains the minerals I need. 415 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:12,485 - Uncle Martin, what happened? 416 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,187 What happened to everything? 417 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,021 - Shh! 418 00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:15,855 Tim, never mind. 419 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,089 Never mind, not now. 420 00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,325 - The furniture's completely changed. 421 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,526 What ever happened to all the gold? 422 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,394 - Tim, please, not right now, it's alright. 423 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,429 - What do you mean it's alright? 424 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:23,630 Alright my foot. 425 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,499 Why, this table alone was worth a... 426 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,836 Oh, I get it. 427 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,638 I get it, you just painted it over, 428 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,072 it's still gold. 429 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:34,274 - Oh, no. 430 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,141 - Oh-ho. 431 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:47,720 - Bill? 432 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,589 Bill, are you alright? 433 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:57,297 - Lieutenant Brennan, car 341 calling for assistance. 434 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,432 - Oh dear, that must've been a nasty blow on the head. 435 00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:01,301 - Please, Lorelei, I'm alright. 436 00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,936 Car 341 calling for assistance. 437 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,872 - Oh, I didn't know there were assistant policemen. 438 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,775 - [Policeman] Car 341, come in, over. 439 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,610 - This is Lieutenant Brennan, now hear this. 440 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:13,045 All cars in the vicinity of 21 Elm Street, 441 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,281 close in fast, 442 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,449 and better come in with your sirens screaming. 443 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,285 I want the O'Hara gang to know 444 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,820 that it hasn't a chance of escaping. 445 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:24,691 Oh yes, and I want one big, rugged moving van. 446 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,928 - Dick Tracy just blew the whistle on us. 447 00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:30,597 We've only got minutes, Tim. 448 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:31,864 - Oh, it's gonna be more like 30 years. 449 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,300 I'm really sorry I shot off my mouth. 450 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:37,270 - Unless I can get this contraption to work properly. 451 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,244 - This is no time to install indirect lighting. 452 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,245 - No, no, no, Tim, 453 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,114 this is a makeshift cyclotron. 454 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,317 If I can bombard this room full of synthetic gold 455 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,718 with just enough neutrons, 456 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,185 a chain reaction will result 457 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,055 and everything should return to its original state. 458 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:56,923 - Oh? 459 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,460 Well, if it's our only chance. 460 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,461 (knocking) 461 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:02,629 - This is Lieutenant Brennan, 462 00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,631 open up in the name of the law. 463 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:05,898 (knocking) 464 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:06,666 - I don't know if it can take full power, 465 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,100 but here it goes. 466 00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:13,706 Check, check, check. 467 00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:19,278 - Open up peaceably or I'm coming in forcibly. 468 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:21,047 - These molecules have to double their vibrations 469 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,583 because it's still not enough. 470 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:27,954 - If you'll put up your hands. 471 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,822 Martin and Tim O'Hara, 472 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:37,797 I'm arresting you for the illegal possession of gold, 473 00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:41,033 for attempting to smuggle gold out of the United States, 474 00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:43,870 and for the theft of an unspecified amount of gold bullion 475 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:46,939 from the depository at Fort Knox, Kentucky. 476 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,908 - I thought you'd say something like that. 477 00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:50,610 - Smart to the end, aren't you? 478 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,745 Well, that's exactly what this is 479 00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:55,715 and that's your transportation coming now. 480 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:58,418 (siren blaring) 481 00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:16,536 (small blast of sound) 482 00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:16,969 What was that? 483 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:26,913 What was that? 484 00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:29,048 - I guess we blew a fuse. 485 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:35,087 - Oh, Bill, your assistant policemen are here. 486 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:36,589 - [Bill] Captain. 487 00:22:36,623 --> 00:22:38,458 - Brennan, you've got half the police force out there, 488 00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:40,059 so what's your problem? 489 00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:42,261 - If you'll just take this knife, Captain, 490 00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:46,466 and go over there and scrape a bit of paint off that table. 491 00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,409 Well? 492 00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:58,411 - You just took the word right out of my mouth. 493 00:22:58,445 --> 00:22:59,946 Well? 494 00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:02,248 - Well, don't you know what that is under that paint? 495 00:23:02,281 --> 00:23:03,082 - That's wood. 496 00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:03,983 - Exactly. 497 00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:04,817 Wood? 498 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,735 What did you do with that furniture? 499 00:23:22,769 --> 00:23:23,570 - Sat on it. 500 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:24,604 - But it's gold! 501 00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:26,205 It was gold. 502 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,574 - Gold? 503 00:23:27,607 --> 00:23:29,609 So this is what that was all about. 504 00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:31,010 Now you listen to me, Brennan, 505 00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:32,244 I just had a call from Fort Knox 506 00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:34,514 and not one ounce of their gold is missing. 507 00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:35,314 - But it was all here, 508 00:23:35,347 --> 00:23:37,784 I saw it, I felt it. 509 00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:40,119 This was gold, and this was gold, and this was gold, 510 00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:41,053 and this was gold. 511 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,589 I tell you, it was. 512 00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:43,623 - Of course it was. 513 00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,558 - I bet you think I'm crazy. 514 00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:46,759 - I'll bet you think you're not. 515 00:23:46,793 --> 00:23:48,127 Come along, Brennan. 516 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,897 - Captain, he did have a nasty blow 517 00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,932 on the head a little while ago. 518 00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:54,133 - If I may suggest a checkup 519 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:57,403 and a nice long rest in the country. 520 00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,472 - Come along, Brennan. 521 00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:00,306 Come along, come along. 522 00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:02,008 Sorry to bother you. 523 00:24:06,579 --> 00:24:07,580 - Long rest. 524 00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:17,156 - There goes my 110 foot, twin-screw, 525 00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:20,126 double diesel, ocean-going yacht, 526 00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:22,261 my mansion in Bel-Air, 527 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:25,598 my own metropolitan daily newspaper. 528 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:27,867 Oh well, we wouldn't have been able to enjoy it anyway, 529 00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:29,536 even if your gadget didn't work. 530 00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:30,837 - But it didn't. 531 00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:31,771 - What? 532 00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:33,139 What about all the-- 533 00:24:33,172 --> 00:24:34,641 - We can thank the lieutenant for that. 534 00:24:34,674 --> 00:24:37,143 An eager beaver Brennan ordered his police sirens 535 00:24:37,176 --> 00:24:38,578 to such a high volume 536 00:24:38,611 --> 00:24:42,281 that they added enough high-frequency vibration to, 537 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,817 shall we say, turn the tables. 538 00:24:48,788 --> 00:24:51,290 (wacky music) 37327

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