All language subtitles for Martha Knows Best - 1x03_track3_eng

My gold and diamond earrings,
I guess.

They came in a box
of an electric drill.

So I was opening the box
in front of

all these friends
of mine up in maine.

And every other man
at the table cringed

because their wives were
kicking them under the table.

And knowing y--
because they weren't
getting gold and diamonds.

Knowing you, you probably asked
what the drill was.

Of course I did, I said,
what about the drill?

[ laughs ]

♪♪

[ rooster crows ]

[ various animal noises ]

martha: I've lived on this farm
for about 17 years,

and like you, I'm spending more
time at home than ever before.

I have 150 [bleep] acres
that have to be planted.

So I'm going to take you
behind the scenes

as I do my gardening projects.

Ryan, why are you leaving me
here to dig this hole?

I'm going to help
my celebrity friends.

Give them to your wife,
everybody will love these.

I'm whacking my pomegranate
right now.

Hey, snoop,
I'm doing a pot show.

-What?!
-And surprise new gardeners.

Hi, it's martha stewart.
Oh, my god!

Martha: Some people say I wrote
the book on gardening.

Well...I did.

Do you like?

This is
"martha knows best."

[ birds chirping ]

this garden,
which I call my hidden garden,

is only about six years old.

I put the boxwood surround
in first.

And the siberian pea shrub.

I found those on sale.

But the focal point of
this garden is that gingko tree.

That is the largest gingko tree
in the tri state area.

And it drops close to a million
ginko nuts every fall.

And it stinks to high heaven.

But they are delicious
roasted with salt.

So thank you.
Thank you, ginko.

Arigato gozaimasu.

[ laughs ]

so today we're going to talk
about planting trees and shrubs.

We're going to show you
how to plant a pine tree,

how to plant a fruit tree,

and how to plant
a little japanese maple.

What was it like
when you bought the property,

like,
what I haven't seen.

Well, barren
and the place

had a lot of barbed wire.

Barbed wire?
It had a barbed wire fence.

Around all of it?
All the posts.

And all the barn buildings
were falling down.

This was the wreck
of the neighborhood.

I have very,
very fancy neighbors around me.

They just overlooked this place
because it was such a mess.

And I saw the beauty
and the thank god I did

because I had not
only saved the place,

but I have enhanced it,
I hope.

I hope you think so.

Let's go a thousand miles
an hour.

[ starts engine ]

I'm planting trees,
one of my favorite things to do.

♪♪

let's go, ryan,
we have to dig holes.

Don't go too fast
when you're driving

a giant machine like this.

Or else you're going to
end up in a ditch.

Where's ryan?

Ryan? Where did he go?

Ryan are you around?

Oh, ryan! Oh, ryan!

[ various animal noises ]

ryan: Coming!

Good, you're here.
[ laughs ]

you take one side,
I'll take the other.

Very pretty.

Oh, it's a beauty.
So this is our pinetum area.

Which is a garden devoted
to all kinds and all varieties

and all species
of pine trees.

So now I'd like to show you
how to plant a pine tree.

Oh, this is such good soil.
Oh, if if I can just dig

like that so easily,
you know, it's good.

The first rule is you dig
for rooted potted specimens

like this two times the depth
and two times the width.

Ryan, why are you leaving me
here to dig this hole?

Uh, here you dig.

I'll hold the water.
[ laughs ]

I love to dig holes.

The second rule is
don't use the soil

that you dug out of the hole
in the bottom of the hole,

you just took it out.

The new soil goes in
the bottom of the hole,

the compost, to give a nice rich
root base for the plants.

Okay, that looks good.

If you think I'm fussy, you
should have met my dad, edward.

Edward was a maniac.
He never lost a plant. Never.

But he taught me
all these techniques.

And then when I read books
about it,

edward was even right-er.

So bang the pot
like ryan is doing.

Bang on it.
Yes, yep.

Kind of, step on it
with your heel.

Just have to loosen it
out of the pot.

Oh, that's coming out
nicely.

Look, not root bound at all.
So a little scarification,

just to make sure
the roots are loose enough

to start thriving
in that rich compost.

Oh, that looks perfect.

The top of the root ball

is at the top of the hole,
then you can use

just a little bit more
of the compost around the top.

Everywhere you put it,
the plant's gonna find it.

Yep, it will find it.

We used to cut live
christmas trees every year

when I lived
in westport, connecticut.

But I find it kind of sad

to cut down a living thing
for, for christmas.

I'll only cut it down if it goes
to rockefeller center.

I think I will have to
live to 110

to get those trees big enough,
but that's a good goal.

♪♪

so it's so hot out.

I'm taking a break from planting
all my trees and shrubs.

And I understand
there's somebody in louisiana

who is having a tree crisis.
Hi.

-Hi. How are you?
-It's martha stewart calling.

I know exactly who you are.
You're the original queen.

I am. I'm going to help you
with a crape myrtle problem,

I understand.
Is that it right there?

Yes. I'm trying to plant
something underneath the tree.

It's very shaded.

All I can get it to grow
is weeds and vines.

And I desperately
need your help.

Crape myrtle's love, the hot
they love the humid.

But they do not like to
have things planted under them.

Oh.
What you really should do,

I think, is to get maybe
two more lower crape myrtles

and plant them
next to that crape myrtle.

Try to get one that has
multi stems because some of them

grow like shrubs,
some grow like trees.

Okay,
I'm excited to try that.

What about food?
You give them a lot of food.

Oh, yeah,
I've been cooking a lot.

No, I mean your tree,
do you feed your tree?

Oh no, I don't feed -- I don't
feed my tree tree. I don't.

This is my mom's house.
They don't touch this garden.

And I'm just trying to leave
this place better

than I found it
and give them back.
How lucky.

My daughter is going
to live in my house up in maine

for the whole summer
with her two kids.

Wonderful.
I'm going to play that tape

that you put everything
you just said.

I'm going to
play that for her.

Maybe she'll be taking care
of my garden up there, too.

Well, good luck and...
Thank you.
Try the multiple crape myrtles.

I think it'll look
real pretty well, okay?

Alright. Thank you so much.
Thank you, amanda.

Omg, I just got off the phone
with the original queen bee

of gardening,
martha stewart,

and she helped me
solve my problem.

I'm just so grateful
and excited

that I got it advice
for martha stewart.

I can't wait to show you
what I do with my garden.

I don't even know
what this is.

A talk show host
knows everything.

And you don't know?

I mean, this moves
in those kale circles,

you know?
No, it doesn't.

When it's your birthday,

I always tell everybody
"she wants trees."

tree or a very good
white wine.

One of my favorite parts
of this program

is called "impress martha,"

the part of our show
where viewers try to impress me.

Thirty-year-old michael
vaninger-bell lives in brooklyn

and michael
has slugs in his garden.

And guess what his grandfather
taught him to do?

So, today,
I'm going to teach you guys

how to get rid of slugs
in your garden,

with just three things.

A beer, a cup,
and a pair of scissors.

Open your beer can.

Pour your beer into the cup.

Take the scissors, and you
literally just cut it in half.

[ chuckles ]

take the beer that you poured
out previously

pour it into
your little contraption,

so you take this guy,
pop it in your garden,

stick it right at the soil level

so the slugs can get into
your little slug death trap,

and that's it.

We're a german family
and beer

was the solution
to a lot of things.

And who knew that
that also pertains to slugs.

I did it, too.
And it it does work.

Slugs want to eat good things,

just like humans
want to eat good things.

But you know what?
I think it's a waste of money.

So find a slug food that causes
those slugs to go away,

if you know what I mean.

You don't have to use beer.
Drink it yourself.

♪♪

I have a very accurate chart

of where everything
is planted in this orchard.

Two hundred and twenty different
fruit trees, there is our chart.

Ryan:
This is just my chicken scratch,

she has the nice one
in the house.

Martha: But here, so write down
montmorency cherry tree.

I don't have one montmorency
cherry growing here in bedford.

Young trees like this benefit
from being staked so strong wind

won't blow them over.

If they're heavy with fruit,
they won't fall.

It doesn't rock their roots.

These are nice stakes.
Hard wood.

And take them down as far
as you can get them there.

So now where is
that nice tape?

Here it is,
cut two even pieces.

I like to put it above
the first lateral branches.

So we always have something
to keep it

from sliding down the tree
and make this into a figure-8.

Criss-cross it and
go around the post.

Ah, this tree cost $100.

It's very expensive.

[ laughs ]

so I have to call jay leno
in a couple of minutes.

He's funny,
he's from your hometown.

Exactly, from california.

He's a california boy.

And he's game to get
a pomegranate tree.

I think he likes getting
getting a tree.

I always tell everybody,
when it's your birthday,

they always ask me
what to get you.

And I always tell them
"she wants trees."

trees or a very good
white wine.

♪♪

-hi, jay.
Hey. Hi, martha, how are you?

Everything good?

Everything's really good.
Thanks for my tree.

Oh, you got
your pomegranate tree.

I'm so excited.

You know something?
I'm italian.

And when italian guys
reach a certain age,

they get tomato plants.

You know, my uncle lou,
"wha-wha-wha? Martha stewart,

with your pomegranate,
what's that?

What, she can't send you
a tomato plant,

what does she take?
Bah, bah, bah.

And I'm going to hear
the end of it.

"oh, mr. Hollywood.
Oh, mr. Fancy pomegranate."

I don't know what this is.

A talk show host
knows everything.

And you don't know?

I mean, this is in
those kale circles, you know?

[ laughs ] no, it doesn't.
This goes back to ancient rome,

nero ate pomegranates.

But see,
we're poor italian.

This is like fancy italian.

[ laughs ]

you say you've got
to cut off the top,

which is really the bottom.
Okay.

Who put the -- who built
this fruit, the government?

Okay, you want to learn
how to open a pomegranate?

How do you open -- I don't know.
Do I bite into it, what do I do?

No. So,
do you have a knife there?

Do I have a knife? I'm italian.
You gotta ask me that?

[ laughs ]

hey, marth-- martha, you will
love the kitchen in my garage.

Yeah. I've seen you cook
in there actual.

And you know what this is?

That's a cat.

No, this is a "first husband"
knife holder.

Okay, first you have to
cut off the top.

I'm just cutting
through the skin.

Just the skin,
don't cut too deeply, see?

I do this here?

No, from the top
to the bottom,

around the longitude,
not the latitude.

If you cut too deeply
you cut into

each of those beautiful
little pomegranate seeds

and you don't want blood all
over you --

pomegranate blood.

Then you take
the point of your knife,

put the point of the knife
in the bottom

and then just gently
twist it

like you were digging
into somebody's neck.

Okay, you know, I feel like
that scene in "casino."

and you break the pomegranate
gently into quarters.

And inside --
look what's inside, jay.

Okay, oh, there's some horrible
thing inside of it here.

Boy, that looks beautiful.
This looks awful.

Those are the seeds!
Now break it into quarters.

And now the fun part starts.
Wait, you'll see.

Take your wooden spoon

and whack the hell out
of that red skin.

Whack.

This is kinky.
Whack.

How many chickens do you have?

Right now I have 15.

They'll make good
coq au vin next year.

[ laughs ]

♪♪

martha:
So the idea is to get
as many seeds

out of the pomegranate
whole, as possible.

Now put the piece you have
in your hand upside down

in the palm of your hand.

And take your wooden spoon

and whack the hell out
of that red skin.

Whack.
Wow. This is this is,
this is kinky.

See look,
look what's happening.

Every seed comes out,
by banging.

Bad, pomegranate.

You can get out all your
aggressions at martha stewart.

Now, taste some of those
red seeds.

Just put them in your mouth,
a handful.

They're alright.

It's no tomato.

You are hopeless.

Mm!
Sorry.

So what do you do
with the rest of it?

I prepared a pomegranate
martha-rita.

I've never had a margarita
in my life.

Really? Not me.
I love me some tequila.

Anyway,
enjoy your tree. Really.

It'll be very productive.

I'm whacking my pomegranate
right now.

Okay. [ laughs ]

it sounds bad,
doesn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, it's great bye.

Okay, thanks.
Ciao.

Martha, thank you very much
for my pomegranate tree.

I've been, I've been whacking
pomegranates all day. What fun.

And hopefully I will have
my first pomegranate.

And how long's it take? Well,
I should have it pretty soon.

Actually I could just go to
market and buy a pomegranate.

But, but I'm going to wait
and grow my own.

So, thanks a lot.

♪♪

we're standing on the edge

of the laura plimpton woodland
garden with japanese maples.

Laura was my youngest sister
and she loved japanese maples.

She passed away
about five years ago

and I decided this would be her,
the laura maple woodland.

We're just planting here
a waterfall.

This is a greenish
with a little tinge of red.

And again, the first thing
you do is you dig a hole

twice as big as the pot.

Do enhance the soil with some
dry roots and compost.

Yep.
It fit right here.

A lot more water.

Mm-hmm. Beautiful.

And then cover it
over with soil.

You can even step on that.
I always do that.

My dad taught me to step
around the tree.

Not too heavy.
No, no, no.

Well, you might also
get stuck in the mud.

Once it's planted,

that if it doesn't rain for the
next four days, water it again.

And then the next four days, if
it doesn't rain, water it again.

They need water, especially
when they are taking root.

I have lost very,
very few of these trees,

because I take care of them.

The only ones you've lost
are the ones

when there's a storm
and a branch falls.

Oh, yeah. Let's not talk
about the storms.

[ both laugh ]

♪♪

oh, so let's call sunny.

She has a question
about chickens.

And we're here
at the chicken coop.

Okay?
Oh, yeah.

Hi, sunny.
How are you?

I'm well. How are you?
Good.

How many chickens
you have right now?

Right now I have 15.

They'll make good
coq au vin next year.

[ laughs ]
that's what everyone is saying.

Can you show me your coop?
It looks very well made.

This is my run.

I let them free range also,
but I don't do it

when I'm not outside with them
because I had a hawk incident.

If you'd like
a pair of guard geese,

I have an extra pair for you.
I would love guard geese!

Oh, you come over here and you
can have a pair of sebastopol.

They're the beautiful white
fluffy geese with curly tails.

I would love that!
I gave them to wes gordon.

The designer
for carolina herrera,

he was losing a chicken
a day to a fox.

Since he got my geese,
he has not lost one chicken.

So you'll be happy with them.
Oh, thank you.

Well, the other thing
that I started doing

is that I'm starting an orchard.

What did you plant?

An apple tree. And if you see.
Look at that. I like a little.

Do you see that? Oh, my gosh.
You have an apple.

And now here
that looks like a peach.

Yeah, I have a peach tree
and I have little peaches.

Yeah.
I feel like
I'm doing pretty well.

Except that animals
are coming and snacking.

Oh, you might have
to put a fence.

You could do it inexpensively by
using say, five rebar,

bang it about two feet
down into the ground

and then just encase each tree
in a netting.

You can do a plastic netting
or a cloth netting.

Thank you, martha!
You're welcome.

And I want to see pictures
of your fruit

and I want to see pictures
next year of your orchard.

I'm sure it's going
to look really good.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.

I'm very excited about this.
I'll see you on "the view."

okay. [ laughs ] take care.
Thank you.

Get her phone number so that
we can deliver the geese.

Yes.
It's so cool. It's so great.

[ honks ]

[ martha
imitates honking ]

daniel boulud and his wife
katherine are building

a spectacular fire pit
right across the street.

So as a special gift, I thought
I would give them some seating.

...With a boulud "b"
online.
Perfect!

Martha:
The famous chef, daniel boulud
and his wife, katherine,

are building
a spectacular fire pit

right across the street.

I popped over there yesterday
to check on the progress.

I think we're going to go
about 16 inch below.

Uh-huh? And then what will the
surface around here be?

Similar stone.
As the wall and the stair.

So we'll be back and see
the finished product.

So as a special gift. I thought
I would give them some seating.

We just cut one of our ash trees
that had fallen down

and the tops of the logs
were sanded

to make them nice and smooth
for their bottoms.

And we are painting the tops
of the logs a pretty gray

and then stenciling
the daniel boulud "b" right off

their signs of the restaurants.

All you do is take the paint
and put a little bit

right where the stencil
is cut out,

and then use a pouncer brush,
because what it does

is push the paint
right into the paper cut

without going under the edge,
you get a nice clean stencil.

Look at that.

So the bouluds live right
across the street,

almost directly across
from my tropical greenhouse?

And I wonder how much work
has actually gotten done

on the fireplace.

♪♪

-bonjour!
-Bonjour!

We got you
a little silly present.

Come here. Here.

Oh, my gosh!

With the boulud "b"
we found the b online.

Perfect!

This is very exciting.
Can we run over there?

Yeah.

Oh, boy. Look!

Oh, it looks like
stonehenge.
Right?

Oh, it's so great.
This is beautiful.

♪♪

[ martha imitating bird calls ]

bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.

[ honks ]
[ martha honks back ]

I love talking to
my birds.

Martha:
Well, it's been a glorious day
planting trees in bedford,

but now it's time to go in
and have our dinner.

Hi, beauty.

Oh, what's that you say?

Oh, you love
all of my trees, too.

[ martha and birds calling ]