All language subtitles for Its.Pat.The.Movie.1994.720p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG.ENG2

[chuckling]

You know, Pat,
I wanted to tell you

that the camera
really loves you.

I mean, really, really--

[cork pops]

...loves you.

Well, it's true

I've always been
exceptionally photogenic.

[chuckling]

Ahh.

A toast, then, to...

to America's newest
superstar.

[ding]

Oh, this bubbly goes
straight to my head.

Careful.

Well, I don't really
feel like dancing, Kyle.

Of course not.

You must be...

awfully exhausted

after
such an exciting day.

Well, it was on TV.

I'm the luckiest man
in the world

to be able to share
this moment with you, Pat.

Kyle.

Wow.

Whoo.

Is it hot in here,
or is it just me?

Why don't you just loosen
up a little bit, Pat?

Maybe we could,
uh, have some fun.

Okay, I think I understand
what's going on here, Kyle.

You got the wrong
impression about me.

I mean, I like you
as a friend, okay?

A friend.

To tell you the truth,

you're not exactly my type,

if you know
what I'm saying.

Plus, Kyle, you're married,
and I'm engaged,

so... Oh, Kyle,
this is just embarrassing.

I'm gonna go.

Oh, sweet mystery that is Pat.

"Why don't you
loosen up a little?"

The guy needs therapy.

Pat, you were, uh...

Hi. Thank you.

Thank you.

Kathy,
so what did you think?

Well, uh, it was so much
like the engagement party.

It was
just like being there.

I knew you'd love it.

Hey, we have a celebrity
in the building!

Me! [chuckling]

I was brilliant.

I know now that I was born

to bring joy into
the lives of millions.

[ring]

Hello.
TV's Pat speaking.

Chris: Hi. Hi, it's me.

Uh, you were really great
on the show tonight.

I know.

Uh, look, Pat, uh,

I'm really sorry
about earlier.

Well, I understand

how you can get
overemotional sometimes.

No biggie.

You know, Pat, you really
should follow your dreams.

But, you know, maybe you
should just pick one dream

and follow it, okay?

Okay.

So we're in love again,
right?

Oh, Pat.

We were never out of love.

Oh, Chris, you believed
in me all along.

Psst, Pat.

Sorry. I have to go.

There's somebody
at the window.

[dial tone]

Pat, you're
a wonderful person.

All right, Kyle,
listen, uh,

I have to go to bed.

I'll talk to you later.

Don't close the door
on my hand! Aah!

[crash]

Hey, weren't you
on TV last night?

Yes, I was.

Can we talk to you
for a minute?

Okay.

Pat, aren't you?

Aw, who wants to know?

Oh, we're Ween.

What's a ween?

We're a band, you know.

That's Gene Ween,
and I'm Dean Ween.

You know, like
Simon and Garfunkel,

Peaches and Herb.

It's kind of sad

you got stuck with that name.

Yeah, anyway, we're
doing a gig tonight,

and we were wondering
if you wanted

to come out and play.

Great! I'm in a band!

I hopped aboard that bus

knowing I was on the road
to fame and fortune.

[chanting]
Ween! Ween! Ween! Ween!

Ween! Ween! Ween! Ween!

One minute, Pat.

Don't mind the cameras,
Pat.

Do your thing, and you'll
look great in the video.

Thank you.

Pat.

How exciting.

Just think, all those
thousands of people

looking at me
and only at me.

All of them watching
and waiting for me

to fill their lives
with meaning.

Pat, you okay?

Where's my axe?

Your instrument's
set on stage.

- All right.
- Knock 'em dead.

Thank you.

Ween! Ween! Ween!

[cheering]

Pat, we're Ween.

[high voices]
♪ When you've had your fun ♪

♪ And your work is done ♪

♪ You must not succumb ♪

♪ I can feel you breathe ♪

♪ At least I can make
a Norwegian side ♪

♪ Please don't hide ♪

♪ So, Mom, if you please ♪

♪ Pass me the pork roll,
egg, and cheese ♪

♪ If you please,
on a Kaiser bun ♪

♪ Mom, if you please ♪

♪ Pass me the pork roll,
egg, and cheese ♪

♪ If you please,
on a Kaiser bun ♪

Hi. Thank you.

Hey, you were incredible
tonight, Pat.

Oh, you thought so, too?

Pat, great show.

Yeah, you were amazing.

Well, the tuba is a sadly
overlooked instrument.

Care for a mushroom?

Oh, hey, I don't know
what's in these.

These could be
psychedelic, right?

Oh, I know about these
music industry parties:

sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll.

Woo-hoo!

[sitar music]

[groaning]

I see trails...

the realistic pillows.

Gene, you have a polka-dot
monkey on your nose.

Pat, those aren't
hallucinogenic
mushrooms.

They're from Safeway.

Oh.

Hey, you guys,
I played with the Ween!

- What?
- Ohh.

Gross.

I played with the Ween!

Hey,
I played with the Ween!

Hey, everybody!

I can't believe
you did this!

I want a divorce.

[playing "Three Blind Mice"]

Ohh!

Ahem!

Mm-hmm.

Hey, dudes!

Well, just another gig.

Are you ready
to rock 'n' roll?

Hey, Pat, what's up?

Just getting ready
for the next gig.

Oh. Pat, I think there's
been a misunderstanding.

We just wanted to get
some footage of you

for our next video.

You were great
and everything,

but that's
all we needed.

Well, maybe I should go out

as a surprise
bonus attraction.

No, it's too late
to change the lineup.

Well, maybe I could
just jam with the band

as a special celebrity guest.

We appreciate that,
but we just can't do it.

I'll perform for free.

I'm sorry, Pat.
Not tonight.

Okey-dokey.

Well...

see you at the next gig.

Pat, try to understand

we booked you for just
one performance.

That's all.
We were filming a video.

Didn't you read the contract
we gave you to sign?

Well, yes, of course I did,

but I can hardly be expected
to read all the fine print.

I mean, I just
naturally assumed

that I would go
on tour with you

and then I would get
a record contract of my own

and have a fabulous
music career.

Isn't that standard contract?

No, not as such.

You guys were
nothing without me!

I hate show biz!

It's a cutthroat industry!

Aw, I know, hon, I know.

All I am to them
is a body, an image!

I understand.

To them I'm just
a piece of meat

to be chewed up
and spit out!

[sobbing]

Oh, Pat.

Maybe
it's all for the best.

Feel sorrier for me!

How can I feel sorry for you

when you feel
so sorry for yourself?

I miss my career.

[whining]

I miss the limelight

and the adulation
of thousands!

Oh, Pat, being famous
and having a career,

they're-- they're
not the same thing.

What are you talking about?

Well, a career implies
having a skill.

You think I'm untalented!

No, I don't.

I'll show you!
I'm a renaissance person!

I don't understand
why you insist

on blowing this thing
so out of proportion.

I don't think you know
what you want out of life.

I just want fame and riches.
Is that too much to ask?

Oh, Pat.

Those are the goals
of an empty soul, Pat...

one that I frankly
do not want to spend

a whole lot of time with,
so--

And you're not being
supportive enough!

I need something
for me right now!

Come on.

No.

Well, I'm not gonna beg.

Where am I?

What kind of spell
have I been under, Pat?

I mean, you and I
are clearly

fundamentally incompatible,

and I just think--

I think we should
call it quits, Pat.

I think it's...
over between us,

and, uh,
I should be going.

Goodbye, Pat.

[sobbing]

Dear Diary:

I am at the lowest
point in my life.

First my music
career was sabotaged,

and then Chris
became unreasonable,

and I had to break off
our engagement.

Thank goodness I still
have you, Dear Diary,

a confidante to whom
I can bare my soul's
most secret yearnings

and vulnerable feelings.

Oh, well, I'm sure everything

will look better
in the morning.

Ohh...

[bottles rattle]

You're a stupid lettuce-head.

Oh, no!

[humming]

You're all wet, Pat.

Ohh!

Ohh...

I'm being haunted
by the specter

of my former lover.

I should record
that dream in my diary.

No! My laptop!

Ohh! Ohh!

My diary's been stolen!

Ohh! Help!

Oh, Kyle!

Kyle! Ohh!

Oh, madness!

Oh, my diary's been stolen!

My diary's been stolen!

Oh, no.

Kyle,
at this very moment,

some diabolical cat burglar
could be reading

the most intimate
details of my private life!

Kyle!

That's terrible, Pat.

Hey, I have frames
just like those.

Wait a minute, Pat.

Don't you need a password

to gain access
to the diary itself?

Yes. Yes, I do.

And what was
that password again?

I would never tell that
to anyone.

Not even a closest friend,
a nearby neighbor,

somebody that can--

Well,
I'll give you a hint.

It's in the dictionary.

Ohh, all right, Kyle.

I feel a little bit better.

Good.

Okay, I got to go.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Hmm.

[buzzing]

[Pat's voice]
Access denied.

[chuckling]

It was worth a try anyway.

A.

[buzzing]

Dick.

[buzzing]

I will know your secrets,
my love.

I will possess you utterly.

Whoever had stolen my diary

had left few clues behind,

and I was soon on the trail,

sniffing out leads.

Hey, dudes.

Any of you guys
steal anything lately?

What are you talking about?

Like my laptop diary.

It's been stolen,
and I want it back.

What the hell
are you anyway?

Oh, I know
what you're thinking.

Am I a Crip
or am I a Blood?

No. What we want to know

is are you a brother
or a sister?

- Word.
- Yeah.

Well, I'm an only child.

There's a word
for what you are.

Charismatic?

Spike, what is the word
I'm looking for?

Androgynous.

- Yeah.
- That's it.

Oh, that's right.
Androgynous.

That's what everyone
says about me.

Good old androgynous Pat.

Pat's always cheerful

and androgynous
with everybody.

So what the hell are you?

A man or a woman?

Ohh...

Ohh! Ohh!

What the hell was that?

Hmm.

Ohh!

May I help you
with something?

I need a makeover, pronto!

Makeover.

Yes, I need to look more
like my own gender.

You know what I'm saying,
Gunther.

Oh...kay.

Let's go.

Fantastic.

I don't think so.

Oh, that's
quite flattering.

You've got to be kidding.

The minimalist.

[speeded-up chatter]

That's it! It's me!

Oh, I love my new look!

Oh, you're a genius,
Gunther.

All in a day's work
for Gunther.

I may have looked fabulous
on the outside,

but inside I was a mess.

At a time like this,
I needed a friend.

I needed my best friend.

Man on phone:
I mean, he was-- he was
looking at me funny,

and I had the gun
in my hand,

so-- so I-- I shot him.

Well, anger is nothing
more than hurt

that hasn't been dealt with.

You need to work on healing
your inner child, okay?

I want you to have
a 20-minute conversation

with your inner child
every day.

And remember, no fighting.

All right, so let me know
how things go.

Okay, great,
we're going to pause here

to pay some bills.

I'm Kathy Griffin
on "Love Chat."

Pat.

Hi, Kathy.
How you doing?

What are you doing?

I'm working, Pat.

Oh. Listen, I need a job.
Can you get me one?

Okay, well, why would I
get you a job?

Have you forgotten who set
the clock on your VCR?

That thing would be flashing
from here to Tuesday

if it weren't for me.

Oh, right. Look, Pat,

I'm trying to do
a little show here, okay?

Maybe we could talk
about this later.

Kathy, this isn't
about you right now.

This is about me.

What am I gonna do?

Security!

Oh, great!

Do I get to wear a uniform?

[phone rings]

[ring]

[ring]

[ring]

[ring]

Hello.

Woman: I'm having an affair
with my next door neighbor.

I feel terrible about it.
Who can I talk to?

Well, try your husband.

[ring]

Phone's ringing!

[ring]

[ring]

What do you want?

I would like this individual

escorted from the building,
please.

Uh, just a second.
I want to hear this.

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Oh, my God.

Pat is taking calls
on the air?

I know.

Well, go to commercial.
Pull the plug.

No. This is great
talk radio.

That's the most repulsive
thing I've ever heard.

Look, Troy, that is
trivializing their pain.

Okay?
Pat isn't helping people.

At least Pat's not
putting people to sleep.

Oh. Oh. Okay.

That's a slur directed
against me, right?

Look at all the calls
coming in.

Oh, You are so disgusting.

Hello. Whoa. Um...

All right,
can I help you?

Man: Sometimes I have
suicidal thoughts.

I feel like I want
to jump off a building

or slit my wrists or put
a bullet in my head.

Well, have you
considered drowning?

I mean, they say it's like God
giving you a big wet hug...

forever.

Stop calling here.

Female chorus:
♪ Ooh, "Love Chair" ♪

Announcer:
Tune in same time
tomorrow for more...

Hey, you know when that
"On the air" sign is on,

that means
you're on the air.

Oh, heh heh. Oops.

You know,
you're a natural?

Well, your station's
listeners

really bummed me out.

They're
a bunch of crackpots.

Well, Pat, those are
exactly the kind of people

who call a radio talk show.

Well, they're
too freaky for me.

Why can't they just have
normal relationships?

Pat, why don't you be
the new host of "Love Chat"?

Great.

I'm hired!

Guess what, Kathy.
I got a job.

I have a radio show
called "Love Chat."

Yeah, I know, Pat.
That was my show.

Well, small world.

No, no. I got fired today.

Oh, Kathy,
that's terrible.

Why?

Because they gave you
my show.

Oh, that must be awful
for you, Kathy.

Is there anything
I can do?

Uh, yeah. Could you
give me my job back?

I don't think
they'd go for that
down at the station.

Plus, I wouldn't do it

because I really
need this job.

Well, then do me a favor
and get out of here!

- Okay?
- I'd better go.

Ramrod. Ramrod.

Come on, baby, be the one.

- [buzzing]
- Come to Papa.

Access denied.
[chuckling]

[muttering]

[laughing]

[buzzing]

Pig! I'm sorry.

Okay.

[female chorus scatting]

Announcer:
You're listening to KVIB FM.

And now for the southland's
hottest talk radio,

here's Pat.

Hi. This is "Pat Chat."

And I'm your host,
Pat Riley. [chuckling]

I'm ready to listen

to all of your most personal
and intimate problems

and then, uh,
solve them for you,

so, uh, let's take
our first call.

Woman: I've contracted
a horrible disease,

and I've been told I don't
have much time to live.

[sobbing]
What should I do?

[baby crying]

Why don't you go
1-800-Waah-waah-waah

waah-waah waah-waah?
[chuckling]

All right, next call.

Kyle: Pat, I-- I--
I like to dress up

like my sexually ambiguous
neighbor

[cuckoo cuckoo]

and prance around
the apartment all night.

Sure you do,
Mr. Looney Tunes.

Adios!

I'm tired of these cranks.

Let's screen these callers,
people.

[doorbell rings]

Hi. Blast from your past.

Hi. I'm a famous
radio personality now.

That's really-- That's great.

Uh, Pat, there's something
I have to tell you.

Can I come in?

Pat, you know, I never want
you and I to be enemies, okay?

But, uh, I have to go away
for a little while.

Where?

I'm leaving on Sunday
at 5:30 for Tibet,

on a spiritual quest.

A quest?

Yeah. Um, I'm gonna be gone
for at least a year, Pat.

What?

So I really thought
it was important

that I come by and tell you

that I think I'm probably
always gonna love you, Pat.

Well, then great! Then we
have no problems, then.

No, Pat.
What I'm trying to say

that I'm really sorry
it didn't work out between us.

Well--

Well, I'm also sorry

that you couldn't have
been more sensible.

Goodbye, Pat.

People. Can't live with them,

and you can't live
without them.

Ohh...

Damn, I must have missed it.

[Kyle imitating Pat's voice]
There's only three left.

I know that. Thank you.

[chuckling]

Zymase.

Access denied. [chuckling]

Zymotic?

Ohh...

Zythum.

Please work.

We're in. We're in!

We're in, we're in.

We're in, we're in.

We're in.

We're in.

Ohh...

We're in, we're in, we're in,

we're in, we're in, we're in.

We're in, we're in.

The diary.

"Once I got it home,
I realized I didn't like it.

"I mean, who wants
a plaid bath mat anyway?

"So I took it back
and exchanged it

"for a delicious tan one.

Well, more brown, really."

Pat on radio: ...be all tender
and sumptuous enough

to bring tears to your eyes.

And people everywhere
are making Tom Chuck's

their dinnertime destination.

Come and enjoy!

All right, sounds good.

Okay, I'll remind you

this is KVIB. I'm Pat.

You know what I
always say:

we're made for each other.
[sputter]

Oh, Pat.

[chuckling]

Pat.

Always try to be equal
partners in a relationship.

Thank you very much.

I'm Pat,
and I'm here all night,

ready to lend
a sympathetic ear.

Let's take our next call.

Hello.

Chris: Hi, Pat.

Hello.
Don't waste my time.

What's your name,
caller?

Well, it's--

You can call me
Chris, Pat.

All right, Chris,
what's your problem?

Well, I had this special
someone in my life--

we'll call this person Pat--

and, well,
we were engaged, yeah,

and, uh, well,
I just didn't feel

that Pat was ready
to make a commitment,

not to-- not to a job
or to me.

But now for the first time
Pat has some job stability,

- and--
- Uhh?

I just want to tell Pat

that I-- I love Pat
for who Pat is

and not for what Pat does.

And I really wish we could
get back together again, Pat.

Well...

you're not giving me much
to go on here, Chris.

Can you be more specific?

Well, I guess what I'm
trying to get at, Pat,

is that, well, I'm leaving
for Tibet tomorrow,

you know, to get over Pat,

and I'm not so sure that's
the right thing to do now,
Pat.

Well, if you're asking
for my advice,

and I guess you are,

I would say
that this Path person

just sounds like a real
nightmare.

I say hit the road
and don't look back.

[chuckling]
Next call.

But--

Some people, I don't know

why they get hooked up
with these losers

in the first place.

Listen, what I have to give
you people is tough love.

It may not sound pretty,
but I can help you.

That's right, I'm Pat.

I'm here to help you
all night long.

"Chris
can be so frustrating.

"I mean, who is wearing
the pants

in our relationship
anyway?"

Exactly what I want to know!

"I have a confession to make.

"Dear Diary:

Something not even my closest
friends know about me."

"I haven't vacuumed
under my couch

"since I moved
into my apartment.

There, I said it I feel
so much better already."

That's it?

Th-Th-Th-That's all?

The most intimate record

of every detail of Pat's life,

and not a single clue
about Pat's sex?

Why?

Why? That's so unfair!

I'm sleepy, and you people
are boring me.

This is KVIB FM.
I'm your host Pat.

Now let's take our next call,

and make it something lively!

[Eastern European accent]
I'm wanting to be telling you

that I'm having something

that none of your other
callers have.

What's that, your sanity?

No. Your diary.

What? Who is this?

All in good time,
my little elusive friend.

And if you're ever wanting
to see your diary again,

you'll be meeting me
at Ripley's Odditorium

at high noon.

How do I know this isn't
a crank call?

Have you been vacuuming
under your couch lately?

[shuddering]

Excuse me.

[nervous chuckle]

Kyle:
Psst. Hey. In here,

where we're less likely
to be heard.

Oh.

Are you the lunatic
who stole my diary?

You mean...this?

Yes.

Hey, you look kinda familiar.
Do I know you?

No.

You didn't read the diary,
did you?

Yes. I decoded it,

and I read every word.

Oh, I feel so naked.

And you know what?
It didn't tell me diddly.

I know all about
your happy childhood,

your countless jobs,
your idiotic fantasies,

your stupid bath mat.

Stop! Stop!
I can't hear anymore!

I know everything
about you, Pat,

everything except
the one thing I must know.

What else is there to know?

Take off your clothes.

What? You're nothing
but a pervert.

Don't you see?

We were meant for each other.

We're like two
complementary pieces

in the crazy jigsaw
puzzle of love.

I just need to know
how we fit together.

Ohh...

By uncovering
the secret of you,

I uncover the secret
of myself.

Kyle!

Now take off your clothes

if you ever want to see
your diary alive again.

Ouggh.

No!

Where are you?

Pat!

Oh, Pat! Uh-oh!
I see you.

Help! I'm being chased
by a crazed doppelganger

who's reading my diary!

[laughing]

Ohh!

♪ ...of your creator ♪

♪ Stare into the lion's eyes ♪

♪ And if you
taste the candy ♪

♪ You'll get to the surprise ♪

Kyle: Pat!

Hi.

Pat.

Don't run.
You know you want me.

Surrender, my sweet.

[giggling]

Kyle, you just don't
take a hint, do you?

Come to Papa,
my little love dumpling.

Kyle, for the last time,
you're not my type.

Don't-- Don't--
Don't say that, Pat.

Don't say that.

- We should be as one.
- Ohh...

You and I. Huh?

- Kyle.
- Pat.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, no!

- Pat!
- Aah!

Help!

♪ Don't get too close
to my fantasy ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ To touch the hand
of your creator ♪

♪ Stare into the lion's eyes ♪

Hold on.

♪ And if you
taste the candy ♪

♪ You'll get to the surprise ♪

♪ Oh, don't get too close
to my fantasy ♪

[silence]

[chuckling]

[cheering]

Hey, buddy, what do you
think you're doing out here?

No, no. Okay, I give up.
Uncle, uncle, uncle.

Ahem. Then perhaps
you could just tell me,

if that naked person
is a man or a woman.

Show's over, weirdo.
Come on.

No!

Pat!

Ohh...

Just one minute, Pat. We'll
have this all stitched up.

Thank you.

Pat, can I tell you
something?

We admire your persistence
and your creativity,

but we meant it when we said

we only needed you
for one show.

That's all right.

I'm tired of people
looking at me.

I learned something
about myself

when I was out there naked:

what it feels like
to be naked

in front of lots of people.

I've had enough adulation.

I was happier when there
was only one person

who stared at me
when I was naked.

Oh, my God.

Chris.

Ohh!

Gladys Knight:
♪ I've had my share ♪

♪ Of life's ups and downs ♪

♪ But fate's been kind ♪

♪ The downs have been few ♪

♪ I guess you could say ♪

♪ That I've been lucky ♪

♪ Oh, I guess you could say ♪

♪ That it's all
because of you ♪

♪ If anyone ♪

♪ Should ever write ♪

♪ My life story ♪

Pips:
♪ For whatever ♪

♪ For whatever reason
there might be ♪

♪ Ooh, you'd be there ♪

♪ Between each line
of pain and glory ♪

♪ 'Cause you're
the best thing ♪

♪ The best thing
that ever happened ♪

♪ That ever happened to me ♪

Chris!

♪ ...that ever
happened to me ♪

Chris!

♪ You're the best thing ♪

Chris!

♪ That ever happened to me ♪

♪ You're the best thing
that ever happened to me ♪

♪ I know,
you're the best... ♪

Excuse me.
Someone named Chris.

Chris! Chris!

To Paris?
All right.

Excuse me?
Have you seen Chris?

Have you seen Chris?
Chris!

Pat. I--

Hi.

Listen, I've been thinking
about our relationship,

about everything
we've gone through

and everything I said
and how I behaved,

and I realized that

you need me!

I'm sorry, Pat.
I have to go now.

But, Chris,
I've had an epiphany

in front of thousands
of people...

naked.

What?

I don't want fame and fortune.
I want you.

You do, huh?

It's lonely at the top.

I miss having someone around

who loves dinner
as much as I do.

And sunny days?

Chris, I'm really sorry.

Pat.

You've never
said that before.

I just want to be
your spouse.

I just want to be
like a typical American.

I want to settle down
and have a house

and 1.8 kids and lead a life
of quiet desperation,

like these people here.

Come on, Chris,
let's do it.

Oh, Pat.

Chris.

I guess my life is just
one big romantic cliché:

boy meets girl,
girl loses boy,

boy annoys girl,
girl wants boy
to act differently,

girl-- Well, you know,
the same old story.

For richer or poorer.

For richer or poorer.

For as long as you both
shall live.

You may kiss each other.

[cheering, applause]

Plato once said
that the unexamined life

is not worth living.
Well, I agree.

It wasn't until I took a long,
hard look at my own life

that I realized
what I really am:

I'm me!

It's not what you do
that matters.

It's who you are.

And only then did I
discover the truth.

Chris is my other half,

and together we make a whole.

I finally found a yin
to go with my yang.

Or is that yang
to go with my yin?

Well, in any case,
I'm so lucky to be me.

[chuckling]

Hi, this is Kathy Griffin,

and yes,
I'm back on "Love Chat."

my guest today is Kyle,

who's gone through some
love changes recently.

Now, Kyle, you are
a transvestite,
is that correct?

Well, um, Kathy,
I'm dressed as a woman
at the moment,

but I also like
to dress like a man

sometimes.

Okay, well, do your
sexual fantasies change,

depending on
how you're dressed?

No. No, no, I always
fantasize about the same...

person.

♪ [piano]

♪ A lot of people
say "What's that?"

♪ It's Pat ♪

♪ Ma'am or a sir ♪

♪ Accept him or her ♪

♪ For whatever it might be ♪

♪ It's time for androgyny ♪

♪ Here comes Pat ♪