Original subtitles

(IRISH FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey!

Well, look at this wee little toy for this wee little boy.

Oye! That's an expensive machine.

No, lad. That's an expensive machine.

Nigh indestructible.

Look at the sheer size of it.

(TOY CAR WHEELS SPINNING)

(GRUNTS)

This little toy on the other hand...

I could crush with a single step.

(WHIMPERS)

(LOUD THUD)

Hmm?

(RAVENS CAWING)

(GRUNTS)

(LOUD THUD)

(BOTH YELLING)

What in the name of the Emerald Isle?

(ROARING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

SCOOBY: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

Wow! Look at this place, it's like something out of a fairytale.

(RAVENS CAWING)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Where people don't know how to paint or mow or fix anything.

(BUZZING)

Bailey Hill Castle has been abandoned for centuries.

If that corporation hadn't tried to buy it,

we'd never have found out it belonged to my ancestors.

So, like, your family forgot it owns a huge castle in Ireland?

Oh, my family doesn't know it owns a lot of things.

Just last week, Mother discovered

we own the trademark on the phrase,

"Stop staring at my nostrils!"

Well, I'm just happy to travel abroad.

I can finally use the Gaelic I perfected.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)

Careful. Mother has lawyers everywhere.

All right, what's going on here?

Um, hello.

Are you the, uh, caretaker?

Aye. They call me Young Aengus.

Excuse me? What did he say?

Ah, you must be Daphne.

Daphne! He said Daphne, right?

I am! How'd you know?

You got the gleam of your ancestors in your bonnie eyes.

Huh?

Ah, well, yes, I had them re-gleamed for the trip.

Now you lot go inside and leave the luggage to me.

Oh, no, Mr. Angus, sir.

-We'll take care of the bags. -(ANGUS STRAINING)

(THUDS)

* I'll tell me ma when I go home

* The boys won't leave the girls alone

* They pulled my hair, they stole my comb

* But that's all right till I get home *

(GROWLING)

It's humiliating.

I'm fluent in two dozen languages

and I'm baffled by an Irish brogue.

Oh, I love the accent.

It speaks to me.

Wow! This castle is amazing,

a relic of a bygone era of heroes, myths, monsters and plagues.

Ha!

(WHIMPERING)

You'd do well to abandon this place, just as your ancestors did.

Colin McQuaid here is a local historian.

He's been in a panic since he heard you were coming to Bailey Hill.

Claims it's haunted!

(BOTH GASP) Haunted?

That's not what I said. Haunted means ghosts.

BOTH: Ghosts?

Yeah, which is obviously absurd, ghosts.

What I'm talking about is giants.

BOTH: Giant... Huh?

-Did you say, "Giants"? -Did he?

All I heard was...

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Aye, giants. Legend says this land belonged to a giant called Huge McFinn.

It was he who chased your ancestors away and he swore to return

if anyone dare claim the land again.

Well, gang, it looks like we have a mystery here on the Emerald Isle.

What mystery? A giant is coming to destroy us all!

Listen, Mr. McQuaid, this land's been in my family for centuries,

it runs through our very veins since we found out about it last week.

I won't let some legend scare me from my ancestral home.

Is no one paying attention at all?

Do not tempt fate, Ms. Blake.

Don't worry, if McFinn does return, it is he who will suffer! Ha!

(SWORD CLANGS)

(GROANS)

(BOTH SNIFFING)

Did you call our noses?

They have excellent hearing.

Welcome! I'm Salomon, the Bailey Hill cook.

I've prepared authentic Irish delicacies.

Here, have a look.

Why, thanks. I'll bet you heard our stomachs growl.

I did, so feast upon... (SIZZLING)

Crow beans and fowl!

(BOTH WHIMPER)

Why the whimper? Why the snarl?

We do not like crow beans and fowl.

But you haven't even had a taste.

Do not let it go to waste.

-(GULPS) -Run!

-If you eat it, you will see... -(BOTH GASP)

...crow beans fill you full of glee!

-I don't want any. -I also want none.

Don't make us eat it, please, Salomon.

-Try them dressed up as a knight. -(BOTH YELP)

I'll just put up a bigger fight.

I don't see why we must quarrel.

-We don't like crow beans! -We don't like fowl!

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

Hmm.

Fred, I think your watch might be slow.

It's not the 16th century.

If you're hunting a giant of legend,

you use weapons of legend.

(IN IRISH BROGUE) Who knows what we'll find.

This land was once home to all manner of creatures,

fairies, leprechauns, giants!

Aye!

Is that... Are you...

-Nah. -(SHAGGY WHIMPERING)

-The horror! -You saw the giant?

-Worse. -We saw Irish food.

-Wait, the two of you saw food and you're running away. -(THUDS)

-Velma! -Are you okay?

Yeah, I just fell into a hole.

Uh, Velma, that is not a hole.

SHAGGY: Like, it's a footprint!

VELMA: No way!

Do you know how big something would have to be to make a footprint this size?

(LOUD THUD)

(ALL GASP)

That big!

(SNARLS)

We're going to need some bigger weapons of legend.

(ALL PANTING)

I told you, mythical creatures.

What? That's what it is.

You're speaking with an Irish accent!

Rubbish. I am not!

(ROARING)

Okay, giant, you and me!

Wait. Fred, what are you doing?

Giants are the easiest mythical monsters to defeat. Ha!

-Huh? -I've never heard that.

Sling shots, kids with beams, they're more afraid of us than we are of them.

Yield, beast!

(GROWLING)

(WHIMPERING)

I can see the fear in your eyes.

Well, your eye.

(INHALING DEEPLY)

Oh, no.

-(BLOWING) -(FRED SCREAMING)

(SPLASHES)

-(ROARS) -Ahhh!

Ugh, the lake! Why?

Velma, we have more to fear from giants than water.

I don't know what you're saying, Daphne,

but I have more to fear from giants than water!

(ROARING)

(WHIMPERS)

-(ALL PANTING) -(DAPHNE COUGHS)

See? He's more scared of us.

It wasn't us he was afraid of.

Okay, like, Scoob and I managed to lift one clean latent print.

We got him now!

How much more ID do you need beyond ten stories tall?

Velma, what are you doing?

-What? -FRED: She asked, "What are you doing?"

(SIGHS) Daphne, you have chosen the worst time to become a Hibernophile.

She's afraid of sleeping bears?

No, it means she's gone crazy for all things Irish.

Well, I am also afraid of sleeping bears,

but that's a total coincidence.

FRED: The tracks end here.

(SNIFFING)

-Oil. -These footprints go pretty deep.

I wonder if there's natural oil reserves beneath this entire area.

That would make the land Bailey Hill Castle's on even more valuable.

I think we need to look a little deeper into the local history here.

Are you sure you kids are okay?

We're fine, Young Aengus.

(STRAINING)

I just can't believe we actually encountered a giant!

I told you, but you didn't pay attention.

No one ever pays attention!

Aye, what are you doing, lassie?

Scoob, translate.

What are you doing?

Research. Anything to shed light on this giant business.

Research?

I've done the research and the results are in!

Pack your bags and get out of this accursed place before we're all stomped.

Sorry, Mr. McQuaid, we're in the middle of a mystery of yore.

Mad. You're all completely mad.

Hey, that's my branch of the family tree you are examining for clues.

-Scoob? -The lady doth protest.

Hey! Like, what's this?

It appears to be an ancient map.

According to this map...

In ages past when McFinn ruled Bailey Hill,

it was filled with supernatural creatures.

Fairies...

-Vampires... -(HISSES)

-Banshees... -(SHRIEKS)

And more.

No human dared set foot in.

There's clearly more to this castle than meets the eye.

I wonder who else knows about this.

We should look into the company that was trying to buy the castle.

All right, let's split up.

Daphne and I will search the castle.

Velma, Shaggy and Scooby, go into town and see what you can find at city hall.

Yes! Town means food.

Everything means food.

Or does food mean everything?

(MIMICS EXPLOSION)

FRED: There's a whole network of tunnels beneath the castle.

Do you really have to wear that ridiculous armor?

You drop the accent, I drop the armor.

-What accent? -What armor?

-DAPHNE: Hmm. -Hmm.

According to this, there's a secret passageway behind this portrait.

Huh.

Isn't that kind of redundant? Secret passageway?

Are there non-secret passageways?

The word "passageway" alone feels like the concept of secret is already built in.

(GRUNTS)

FRED: A secret passageway!

(LAUGHS) The sweet smell of burgers and fries.

According to these records,

the company buying the land around the castle

is a subsidiary of an American company called Funzo Onezo.

Funzo Onezo?

Scoob and I have been to their amusement parks.

They have the best roller coasters in the North-West.

The flay and spray.

Strange, a quaint Irish village in the middle of nowhere

is not the best place for thrill rides.

Like, just thinking about how sick to my stomach

I was after those rides is making me hungry.

(GIGGLES) Our food!

(SIZZLING)

Here's your crow beans and fowl too!

What part of "yuck" is unclear to you?

You'll love it if you just submit.

(SIGHS) I need subtitles for this bit.

Crow beans and fowl to feed upon?

We hoped that you had thought we'd gone.

Try some with this leprechaun.

I will not be your dynamo.

-That's all right. -We gotta jet.

I'll get those two to try this yet.

Why don't you just use your flashlight?

Knights don't use flashlights.

They don't wear ascots either.

(THUDDING)

(GRUNTS)

That is the second-biggest ottoman I have ever seen.

Jeepers!

Look at all this treasure!

Hey, it's the goose's golden egg!

No wonder Huge McFinn doesn't want people snooping around.

(GROWLING)

Uh, Fred, I think we should get out of here.

(GROWLS)

Ahhh!

Oh, no!

(ROARING)

Freddy, the beanstalk.

A knight doesn't run.

You're not a knight!

And you're one-sixteenth Irish.

-(GIANT ROARS) -(BOTH YELP)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

-Fred? -Daphne?

(ALL SCREAMING)

(WHIMPERS)

Like, what are we going to do?

We're going to save our friends.

-(BOTH GULP) -(SNARLS)

-(TIRES SCREECHING) -Huh?

(CAR CRASHING)

(VELMA SIGHS)

-Fred. -Shaggy?

-Get in. -Look out!

(GROWLING)

Like, what now?

Gadgets.

Do you know how to use those?

How hard can it be?

-Um... -(LOUD THUD)

-(ROARING) -(ALL SCREAMING)

Huh?

(GROWLS)

BOTH: Velma!

Huh?

(ALL YELL)

Oh?

See, nothing to it.

(SNARLING)

Not again.

That castle withstood 700 years of wars, plagues, and storms

and we managed to completely demolish it in five hours.

That's impressive, even for us.

Oh, man. When Mother finds out, she is going to

mail me an extremely dour-form letter. Ugh!

We deserve crow beans and fowl to eat.

Take that back.

I admit defeat.

I can't believe I was beaten by a mythological monster.

Some hero I turned out to be.

Fairytales aren't supposed to end with the heroes flying home depressed, in coach.

That's because it's not a fairytale.

Ireland is a beautiful, magical place.

But we got so caught up in the magic,

we forgot there's no such thing as magic.

(NORMAL ACCENT) I'm about as Irish as Scooby.

I'm a Great Dane.

Exactly. And Fred, you are a hero.

Just not of yore, you're a hero of nor.

It's nor, right?

Is nor a word, like, now? Nor?

Anyway, the point is, this place invites you to play make-believe,

but it's time we stop playing and believe in who we really are.

Now that I understood.

Fred, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

That it's time to bring this giant down to size.

And I have a plan that includes some modern touches.

(ROARS)

(BOTH GULP)

Uh, Fred, whatever you're going to do, I suggest it be done soon.

I've been saving this modification for a special occasion.

What kind of modification?

GIANT: Hmm?

Okay, monster of the past,

welcome to the...

(GIANT GROWLING)

Oh, boy!

Fred?

ALL: Fred!

(GRUNTS) Ahhh!

(SCREAMING)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

-Like, it was a robot? -You got it!

Now it's time to see the little man behind the giant.

ALL: Colin McQuaid?

But McQuaid's just a historian.

How'd he manage to build a giant?

With help.

The American company, Funzo Onezo,

behind the land-buying here,

specializes in...

-(METALLIC TAPPING) -(RUMBLING)

...amusement parks.

VELMA: This is where a team of technicians

assembled the animatronic giant.

As well as everything in the giant's lair.

Unfortunately for McQuaid,

the techs didn't build the giant to go on actual rampages.

(ROARING)

That explains the black goo we found in the footprints.

He's been leaking machine oil.

And being a machine, that's why he couldn't follow us into the water.

"Celtic Land"?

So, like, the map we found in the library...

Was planted by McQuaid.

But it wasn't ancient, it was a map of the proposed park.

FRED: And Bailey Hill, with its ancient castle and rich history,

was to be the centerpiece.

As the local historian and expert on Celtic mythology,

Funzo Onezo was paying McQuaid a fortune to consult on Celtic Land.

DAPHNE: But when he found out they were living heirs to Bailey Hill,

-his plans were ruined. -(GRUMBLES)

He decided to use the prototype giant to scare us off and get us to sell.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Actually, everything you said, every single part of it,

you got wrong!

Yeah, yeah. You would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for us meddling...

Blah, blah, blah. I don't need an interpreter for that part.

-Right. Take him away. -No! Really!

My plan was far more ingenious and sinister.

Why doesn't anybody pay attention anymore?

Well, Scoob, we did it again.

Over and over again.

Now, my friends, time for one bite?

I'm weak from hunger, so why fight?

Once you try some, you will see, crow beans and fowl will set you free.

Doesn't that make your taste buds whirl?

Excuse us now, we have to hurl.

(RETCHING)

No good?