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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,843 Previously, on "You Me Her"... 2 00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:03,216 How many times have you taken this test? 3 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,554 42. It lands on "dominatrix" or "vice principal" every time. 4 00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:08,285 It's not judging you. You're judging you. 5 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:09,865 You're a domineering control freak 6 00:00:09,869 --> 00:00:11,986 who takes great joy in bossing other people around. 7 00:00:12,014 --> 00:00:13,414 You have to plan that woman's wedding. 8 00:00:13,428 --> 00:00:14,984 - I'll plan your wedding. - BOTH: What? 9 00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,350 - Welcome home, Dave. - It's nice, right? 10 00:00:17,368 --> 00:00:19,636 - You're my last key. - We're gonna have so much fun. 11 00:00:19,659 --> 00:00:21,515 [LAUGHING] 12 00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,383 - Izzy? - Leo! 13 00:00:23,673 --> 00:00:25,918 - Hi, Peanut! - I miss you. 14 00:00:25,936 --> 00:00:28,044 - So, what's the plan? - Hotel Angelina. 15 00:00:28,076 --> 00:00:30,767 - Top floor, city views. - Whatever happens, happens. 16 00:00:30,776 --> 00:00:33,908 But what's gonna happen is a whole lot of sex! 17 00:00:33,926 --> 00:00:35,886 - Okay, that's great. - Yeah, great. 18 00:00:35,918 --> 00:00:38,660 - It's Izzy. - "Your babies are precious." 19 00:00:38,673 --> 00:00:42,868 - Do we respond? - What the actual fucking fuck? 20 00:00:43,614 --> 00:00:45,411 "Do you need to talk"? 21 00:00:45,508 --> 00:00:46,943 Really? 22 00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:50,712 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 23 00:00:50,747 --> 00:00:52,623 ♪ ♪ 24 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:55,919 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 25 00:01:00,446 --> 00:01:02,949 To be clear, we're not having sex. 26 00:01:02,954 --> 00:01:04,459 That's not what we're doing here, 27 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:05,785 so don't get your hopes up. 28 00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:08,013 To be clear, you weren't actually invited, 29 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,222 but way to set the agenda. 30 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,413 Haven't we all been pretty clear about all this? 31 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:16,237 - Whatever we were doing, it's over. - Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 32 00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:18,686 I'm going back to Otay Mesa on Monday. 33 00:01:19,352 --> 00:01:22,916 - Of course it's over. - You're here with us why? 34 00:01:22,939 --> 00:01:24,857 Gee, Em, I don't know. 35 00:01:24,874 --> 00:01:28,002 Why did you feel the need to blurt out not only the hotel 36 00:01:28,025 --> 00:01:30,511 but the floor and direction you're facing? 37 00:01:30,534 --> 00:01:33,422 Oh, shit, you're... you're here to see if we still care. 38 00:01:33,445 --> 00:01:37,480 - Oh, my God, get over yourself. - Oh, well, good, 'cause we don't... 39 00:01:37,504 --> 00:01:39,008 - Nope. - Care. We don't. 40 00:01:39,009 --> 00:01:41,044 Would you mind going down to the bar and calling a Lyft? 41 00:01:41,050 --> 00:01:44,288 'Cause we are kind of in the middle of a date night. 42 00:01:44,311 --> 00:01:47,640 So I also misinterpreted the weird sex riff 43 00:01:48,099 --> 00:01:50,148 to my dad, no less? 44 00:01:51,342 --> 00:01:53,999 - You weren't trying to make me jealous? - BOTH: No. 45 00:01:54,452 --> 00:01:55,853 "No." 46 00:01:56,525 --> 00:01:57,816 Okay. 47 00:01:58,172 --> 00:02:00,412 Where is she? Or he, hmm? 48 00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:03,018 - You said you were inviting company. - Oh, that reminds me, Iz. 49 00:02:03,041 --> 00:02:05,262 Are you or are you not sleeping with Nathan? 50 00:02:05,285 --> 00:02:07,411 'Cause it's, like, a little confusing. 51 00:02:07,572 --> 00:02:09,813 Yeah, the... well... [STAMMERS] 52 00:02:10,272 --> 00:02:11,922 The thing... 53 00:02:11,939 --> 00:02:13,618 - Right. - it's... What do you mean? 54 00:02:13,632 --> 00:02:15,672 Let's be clear about it, okay? 55 00:02:15,704 --> 00:02:18,152 Have you and Nathan had sexual intercourse 56 00:02:18,165 --> 00:02:20,132 - since you ran away? - Or ever. 57 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:25,011 I don't think that that's any of your business. 58 00:02:25,029 --> 00:02:26,722 [LAUGHS] That's a no. 59 00:02:26,785 --> 00:02:28,502 - She didn't nail him. - God, it's so obvious. 60 00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:29,879 We knew it. Thank you. 61 00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:32,109 - Yeah, thank you. - So I guess 62 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:36,575 we can stop with the gamesmanship and admit that there's... 63 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,331 we're not expecting company. 64 00:02:38,348 --> 00:02:39,534 - Shocking. - Yeah. 65 00:02:39,557 --> 00:02:41,882 What are we even doing, guys? 66 00:02:42,674 --> 00:02:44,854 - Trying to hurt each other. - Question is why. 67 00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:47,968 Because we're in the anger stage of breakup grief, that's why. 68 00:02:48,778 --> 00:02:52,832 And a very wise teenager told me that the opposite of love isn't 69 00:02:52,885 --> 00:02:55,357 anger or bitterness or hate, it's actually... 70 00:02:55,373 --> 00:02:57,347 - Apathy. - It's apathy, yeah. Everyone knows that. 71 00:02:57,367 --> 00:02:58,708 Well, actually, uh... 72 00:02:59,028 --> 00:03:00,769 never mind. Anyway... 73 00:03:02,284 --> 00:03:05,980 has anything that we've done over the past few days... this... 74 00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:09,229 the lying, the posturing, the snarky repartee, 75 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:10,850 this weird fucking showdown... 76 00:03:10,870 --> 00:03:13,651 does any of that scream "apathy" to you guys? 77 00:03:13,686 --> 00:03:15,166 No. 78 00:03:16,121 --> 00:03:17,555 So... 79 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,565 [MELLOW MUSIC] 80 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,693 ♪ ♪ 81 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,476 It's very obvious that we still care about each other. 82 00:03:25,698 --> 00:03:27,831 ♪ ♪ 83 00:03:28,171 --> 00:03:29,652 We just don't work. 84 00:03:30,058 --> 00:03:33,414 ♪ ♪ 85 00:03:33,855 --> 00:03:35,716 So, um, 86 00:03:36,056 --> 00:03:39,042 it's gonna be really hard for a really long time. 87 00:03:39,078 --> 00:03:41,479 ♪ ♪ 88 00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:44,089 So I'm gonna go to the bar, 89 00:03:44,116 --> 00:03:45,977 call a Lyft like you said. 90 00:03:46,304 --> 00:03:48,132 Sorry I interrupted. 91 00:03:48,352 --> 00:03:51,661 ♪ ♪ 92 00:03:57,524 --> 00:03:59,092 Bye. 93 00:04:00,053 --> 00:04:04,200 ♪ ♪ 94 00:04:04,342 --> 00:04:05,883 Shit. 95 00:04:05,903 --> 00:04:07,351 [DOOR CLOSES] 96 00:04:07,404 --> 00:04:09,980 - Great. Now she thinks she won. - At what? 97 00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:11,954 [SIGHS] I don't know. 98 00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:14,265 Well, whatever. It's not a competition. 99 00:04:14,570 --> 00:04:17,244 Right. So what should we do now? Should we just... 100 00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:20,020 - should we run after her? - Absolutely not. 101 00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:22,699 Right. You're right, honey. 102 00:04:23,223 --> 00:04:24,749 Although, I am, like, 103 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:29,222 little bit curious about these stages of breakup grief. 104 00:04:29,286 --> 00:04:30,898 It was really intriguing, right? 105 00:04:30,914 --> 00:04:31,954 Should we... 106 00:04:31,963 --> 00:04:34,164 It's really intriguing, but it's a little... 107 00:04:34,175 --> 00:04:36,267 You should have her clarify what she meant. 108 00:04:36,358 --> 00:04:38,801 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 109 00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:41,804 [MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 110 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:48,444 ♪ ♪ 111 00:04:48,713 --> 00:04:49,903 Hey. 112 00:04:50,266 --> 00:04:51,424 Hey. 113 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:55,250 ♪ ♪ 114 00:04:55,285 --> 00:04:56,686 [CLEARS THROAT] 115 00:04:57,355 --> 00:05:00,422 ♪ ♪ 116 00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:02,403 Okay, here we are. 117 00:05:03,112 --> 00:05:04,393 I can see that. 118 00:05:04,428 --> 00:05:06,662 ♪ ♪ 119 00:05:06,955 --> 00:05:10,706 We asked if you wanted to talk and you came, so... 120 00:05:11,304 --> 00:05:13,290 [SIGHS HEAVILY] Let's talk. 121 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,212 For the record, the reason I came is because 122 00:05:16,217 --> 00:05:18,476 your text message made we want to pop off one of your arms 123 00:05:18,497 --> 00:05:20,109 and beat you both to death with it, so... 124 00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:22,639 Ooh, we're gonna need two more of those, I think. 125 00:05:22,741 --> 00:05:24,982 Quickly. Thank you. 126 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,842 "Do you need to talk"? 127 00:05:28,083 --> 00:05:29,684 ♪ ♪ 128 00:05:30,014 --> 00:05:32,288 Can you hear how condescending and shitty that sounds? 129 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,713 And please say yes, 'cause otherwise, 130 00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,356 I don't know where we go from here. 131 00:05:35,821 --> 00:05:37,469 Yes. 132 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,329 I guess. Yes. 133 00:05:40,361 --> 00:05:41,696 [SIGHS] 134 00:05:41,914 --> 00:05:43,259 Man. 135 00:05:43,750 --> 00:05:47,432 We are following the stages of breakup grief to a fucking tee. 136 00:05:47,454 --> 00:05:49,425 What is that supposed to mean? Thank you. 137 00:05:49,451 --> 00:05:52,061 Pretending we're fine, then baiting each other, 138 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,231 and then showing up and demanding all of our shit... 139 00:05:55,263 --> 00:05:56,790 Actually, you did that. 140 00:05:57,793 --> 00:05:59,013 Proceed. 141 00:05:59,352 --> 00:06:01,726 And then exploding the façade of fineness. 142 00:06:01,748 --> 00:06:04,218 And then there's the last one, which we are not doing, 143 00:06:04,507 --> 00:06:07,479 which is rock bottom: sleeping with your exes. 144 00:06:07,489 --> 00:06:08,750 Why is that rock bottom? 145 00:06:08,755 --> 00:06:11,610 'Cause after the glow fades, the pain is way fucking worse 146 00:06:11,626 --> 00:06:13,932 because you've just opened yourself up to it all again. 147 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,564 Okay, so how can we avoid all this? 148 00:06:17,599 --> 00:06:19,299 ♪ ♪ 149 00:06:19,515 --> 00:06:21,180 I mean, is there a good way to break up? 150 00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:22,455 What are the stages of that? 151 00:06:22,525 --> 00:06:26,074 I mean, I guess there's only one stage: the truth. 152 00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:27,899 Well, here's a truth for you, Iz. 153 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:31,162 I'm still struggling to understand what you have to be so angry about. 154 00:06:31,221 --> 00:06:33,751 Or is this just, like, an even Steven thing? 155 00:06:33,815 --> 00:06:35,694 I mean, did we leave you at the altar 156 00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:38,375 - and literally run for the border? - No, you didn't. 157 00:06:38,471 --> 00:06:41,020 But wasn't this your plan the whole time? 158 00:06:41,342 --> 00:06:43,583 Painting me into a smaller and smaller corner 159 00:06:43,594 --> 00:06:45,195 until running was the only choice I had? 160 00:06:45,211 --> 00:06:46,860 How long did it take you to come up with that one? 161 00:06:46,861 --> 00:06:47,861 - I think... - You don't even give me 162 00:06:47,862 --> 00:06:49,754 - the benefit of the doubt. - I think maybe she has a point. 163 00:06:50,156 --> 00:06:52,024 Just because we didn't mean to do it, it... 164 00:06:52,056 --> 00:06:54,976 it doesn't mean that we didn't do it. 165 00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,752 You couldn't get close to Lucy and Rose 166 00:06:57,757 --> 00:06:59,390 and have them depend on you 167 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:02,021 and then figure out it wasn't the life you wanted. 168 00:07:02,603 --> 00:07:05,021 So we did what we needed to do and... 169 00:07:05,789 --> 00:07:07,641 you did what you needed to do. 170 00:07:07,983 --> 00:07:10,516 [MELANCHOLY MUSIC] 171 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:13,752 ♪ ♪ 172 00:07:14,009 --> 00:07:15,712 Did we just put a bow on it? 173 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,388 Feels like a toe tag. 174 00:07:17,873 --> 00:07:19,892 Uh, maybe a little bit of both. 175 00:07:20,313 --> 00:07:24,744 Okay, so here's to... what? 176 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,618 Realizing we did the right thing, 177 00:07:29,942 --> 00:07:31,637 even though it's gonna suck. 178 00:07:32,066 --> 00:07:33,501 Yeah, no, I... 179 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,876 I'm not gonna do that. 180 00:07:36,409 --> 00:07:40,112 I'm not gonna toast you guys choosing your fucktarded plan over me. 181 00:07:40,512 --> 00:07:43,315 ♪ ♪ 182 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,384 I guess that's it. 183 00:07:45,818 --> 00:07:50,511 ♪ ♪ 184 00:08:03,097 --> 00:08:04,788 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 185 00:08:08,678 --> 00:08:10,014 [ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSE] 186 00:08:13,013 --> 00:08:17,807 ♪ ♪ 187 00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:29,291 Hey. 188 00:08:29,606 --> 00:08:30,823 Hey. 189 00:08:32,309 --> 00:08:33,619 I came back for you. 190 00:08:33,645 --> 00:08:35,127 In order to come back, 191 00:08:35,135 --> 00:08:36,826 - you usually have to leave the property, right? - No, 192 00:08:36,852 --> 00:08:37,940 she means the border. 193 00:08:37,966 --> 00:08:40,608 She's saying she came back from the border for us. 194 00:08:41,283 --> 00:08:42,359 Oh. 195 00:08:42,995 --> 00:08:44,848 Well, that's different. 196 00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,528 They offered me a permanent position, 197 00:08:49,092 --> 00:08:50,787 and I accepted on the spot. 198 00:08:51,214 --> 00:08:53,160 It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but 199 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,186 I'm really good at it. 200 00:08:55,607 --> 00:08:57,310 I'm making a difference. [LAUGHS SOFTLY] 201 00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,540 I believe that. 202 00:08:59,019 --> 00:09:00,090 Me, too. 203 00:09:01,884 --> 00:09:04,711 I told them I needed a minute to decompress. 204 00:09:04,724 --> 00:09:07,795 - But really, you needed time to... - Yeah. 205 00:09:09,802 --> 00:09:11,584 Our life is still here. 206 00:09:11,739 --> 00:09:13,522 And it's not just the plan. 207 00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:16,874 I just created the wellness center at Griffin. 208 00:09:16,879 --> 00:09:19,398 I c... can't hand it over. Not yet. 209 00:09:19,478 --> 00:09:22,723 And I can't just keep walking away from jobs. 210 00:09:22,916 --> 00:09:26,331 I know, and my life is down there now. 211 00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:28,674 I'm really good with those kids. 212 00:09:28,807 --> 00:09:31,866 It's made it all more clear that I want a bunch of my own. 213 00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:34,857 ♪ ♪ 214 00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:37,527 So what now? 215 00:09:37,562 --> 00:09:39,595 ♪ ♪ 216 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,471 Can I stay? Please? 217 00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:45,273 Can we just have one more night? 'Cause... 218 00:09:46,341 --> 00:09:47,894 I'm not ready to say good-bye. 219 00:09:48,006 --> 00:09:50,205 [YOUNG SUMMER'S "BLOOD LOVE"] 220 00:09:50,509 --> 00:09:55,120 ♪ Stars loom so lonely ♪ 221 00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:57,826 ♪ Over us ♪ 222 00:09:58,562 --> 00:10:00,585 ♪ And down ♪ 223 00:10:01,145 --> 00:10:04,886 ♪ To feel it in my blood love ♪ 224 00:10:05,468 --> 00:10:08,553 ♪ Head rush ♪ 225 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,535 ♪ Never comes back ♪ 226 00:10:11,629 --> 00:10:13,795 [VOCALIZES] 227 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,632 - ♪ Blood love ♪ - [NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 228 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:19,867 ♪ Still runs ♪ 229 00:10:19,957 --> 00:10:23,104 ♪ Never goes black ♪ 230 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:25,641 [VOCALIZES] 231 00:10:25,676 --> 00:10:28,577 ♪ Bright eyes ♪ 232 00:10:28,612 --> 00:10:31,202 ♪ Setting through ♪ 233 00:10:31,248 --> 00:10:34,883 ♪ Find our own time ♪ 234 00:10:34,918 --> 00:10:37,154 ♪ Feel it all ♪ 235 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:39,921 ♪ Bright eyes ♪ 236 00:10:39,956 --> 00:10:42,273 ♪ Setting through ♪ 237 00:10:42,732 --> 00:10:45,736 ♪ Find our own time ♪ 238 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,517 ♪ Feel it all ♪ 239 00:10:48,538 --> 00:10:50,898 ♪ Blood love ♪ 240 00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:53,673 ♪ Still runs ♪ 241 00:10:54,031 --> 00:10:57,271 ♪ Never comes back ♪ 242 00:10:57,307 --> 00:10:59,139 [VOCALIZES] 243 00:11:03,712 --> 00:11:05,249 So, 244 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:09,583 - we did a thing. - [LAUGHS] But not the thing, 245 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,385 so Nina and her breakup grief can suck it. 246 00:11:12,556 --> 00:11:15,844 So why was it so much more intense? 247 00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:17,168 Yeah, we should hang a sign on the door 248 00:11:17,195 --> 00:11:19,127 that says, "Do Not Disturb Ever." 249 00:11:19,148 --> 00:11:21,480 - Rose and Lucy are out there. - So is Leo. 250 00:11:21,565 --> 00:11:23,597 Our life here and your life there. 251 00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:25,872 - Yeah. - [PHONE CHIMES] 252 00:11:27,393 --> 00:11:30,303 Oh, God, speaking of life outside these walls... 253 00:11:30,685 --> 00:11:33,675 meeting Lala and Nina to look at dresses. 254 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,276 You know, even though we didn't technically do anything, 255 00:11:36,311 --> 00:11:39,504 can we all agree that what happens at the Angelina 256 00:11:39,531 --> 00:11:41,640 - stays at the Angelina? - Yeah, absolutely. 257 00:11:41,662 --> 00:11:43,766 I mean, no one would ever understand. 258 00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,468 Do you guys understand what we did here, 259 00:11:46,485 --> 00:11:48,509 or why, or what it means? 260 00:11:48,551 --> 00:11:50,520 If it's like the worst or best idea ever? 261 00:11:50,532 --> 00:11:52,466 'Cause if you do, please, lay it on me. 262 00:11:53,052 --> 00:11:55,268 Well, what if it was just a more sophisticated version 263 00:11:55,289 --> 00:11:56,783 of sleeping with your ex? 264 00:11:58,127 --> 00:11:59,425 Just wondering whether 265 00:11:59,447 --> 00:12:02,725 stopping short of the line makes it any less complicated. 266 00:12:02,751 --> 00:12:04,279 Okay, well, here's what I potentially think 267 00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:05,735 and might possibly understand, 268 00:12:05,756 --> 00:12:08,062 all the while realizing it could be total bullshit... 269 00:12:08,105 --> 00:12:10,042 Your confidence intrigues. 270 00:12:10,078 --> 00:12:12,383 We shouldn't try and make sense of it right now. 271 00:12:12,392 --> 00:12:13,392 You know, not yet. 272 00:12:13,451 --> 00:12:16,017 No rush to judgment. Just take a beat. 273 00:12:16,051 --> 00:12:17,216 I like it. 274 00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:19,250 - Yeah. - Has the general shape of a good idea. 275 00:12:19,284 --> 00:12:21,034 So like Jack says, 276 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:25,056 what happened at the Angelina stays at the Angelina. 277 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,532 A vow of silence. 278 00:12:28,847 --> 00:12:30,414 - I vow. - I vow. 279 00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:32,625 - I vow. - You fucking did what? 280 00:12:32,677 --> 00:12:34,564 How the hell did you go from a slumber party 281 00:12:34,573 --> 00:12:37,600 with little brother to this literal clusterfuck? 282 00:12:37,613 --> 00:12:40,687 Well, I... I think it started when I texted them. 283 00:12:40,713 --> 00:12:43,438 Ah, another secret? Why are you people doing this to me? 284 00:12:43,451 --> 00:12:46,351 - Okay, well, maybe I shouldn't. - No, no. I'm filling in for Carm, right? 285 00:12:46,364 --> 00:12:49,587 [SIGHS] And she's your confidant, so it's part of the job. 286 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,216 Swish. 287 00:12:51,251 --> 00:12:53,103 - Short, short! - Shit. 288 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,689 You know what you guys are? 289 00:12:54,955 --> 00:12:57,528 You're like the very best fight on worldstar.com, 290 00:12:57,549 --> 00:12:58,765 where you want to look away, but you can't. 291 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,157 - Yeah? - Just viscera... 292 00:13:00,187 --> 00:13:01,689 [FARTING NOISE] Flying out of the screen. 293 00:13:01,826 --> 00:13:02,826 You know? 294 00:13:03,017 --> 00:13:05,477 Except for... then you wake up and you wonder, 295 00:13:05,632 --> 00:13:07,577 "Did I really watch a slow-motion ride 296 00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:10,023 at the lingerie superstore's closeout sale, or was that a dream?" 297 00:13:10,049 --> 00:13:11,304 That's very specific. 298 00:13:11,304 --> 00:13:13,959 Oh, my God, you did it. You completed the anger stage. 299 00:13:13,981 --> 00:13:16,300 You slept with your exes even though nothing's changed. 300 00:13:16,334 --> 00:13:18,592 It was "slept with" in the most literal sense. 301 00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:19,745 I swear. 302 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,137 But I do think something has changed. 303 00:13:22,158 --> 00:13:24,520 Oh, really? What? 304 00:13:25,203 --> 00:13:27,226 - I don't know. - Dear God, woman. 305 00:13:27,244 --> 00:13:29,601 Well, I think that I'm gonna hang out 306 00:13:29,613 --> 00:13:31,424 a little bit longer just to figure it out. 307 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,038 I swear, man, right there and then, 308 00:13:33,350 --> 00:13:36,799 it's like the fog cleared and the madness made sense. 309 00:13:36,881 --> 00:13:38,750 You know, it was like everything we'd gone through 310 00:13:38,772 --> 00:13:40,574 had been leading to that exact moment. 311 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,786 - Kudos. - For what? 312 00:13:43,149 --> 00:13:46,018 For that very vivid description of the human orgasm. 313 00:13:46,031 --> 00:13:47,031 I liked it. 314 00:13:47,248 --> 00:13:48,576 Seems to be a theme for you today. 315 00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:50,816 - Well, did I not mention my wife left? - Ah. 316 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,562 Keeping it real, I find it hard to believe 317 00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:56,555 you three spent the whole night in the hotel room and didn't... 318 00:13:56,657 --> 00:13:57,930 We didn't. 319 00:13:57,955 --> 00:14:02,018 We did not have sex. That is to say, no sex was had. 320 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,488 Okay, I know I'm not really Carmen, 321 00:14:05,793 --> 00:14:07,261 but may I speak freely? 322 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,792 - Shoot. - Oh, cool. 323 00:14:10,053 --> 00:14:13,326 - You three are fucking morons. - Well, that was super direct. 324 00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,477 Borderline brutal. 325 00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:17,473 Well, you're basically the moron Tabernacle Choir. 326 00:14:17,511 --> 00:14:18,527 Ouch. 327 00:14:18,617 --> 00:14:21,243 Clever, but ouch. 328 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,176 Here's a little game I used to play with Mira, okay? 329 00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:26,098 I am going to ask you a one-word question 330 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:27,439 and you are going to answer really fast 331 00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:28,553 without thinking about it. 332 00:14:28,754 --> 00:14:30,279 You got it? Yeah? 333 00:14:30,352 --> 00:14:31,991 Okay, here goes. 334 00:14:32,696 --> 00:14:33,771 Why? 335 00:14:34,322 --> 00:14:35,565 Answer. Answer now! 336 00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:36,650 - Uh... - Faster! 337 00:14:36,679 --> 00:14:38,528 Stop doing that. Come on, you can do this. 338 00:14:38,562 --> 00:14:41,825 It's because whatever else about it, uh, it didn't work. 339 00:14:41,842 --> 00:14:44,981 We fell in love... him, me, and her, and... 340 00:14:45,006 --> 00:14:46,548 and even though we couldn't make it work... 341 00:14:46,557 --> 00:14:48,362 which, you know, we clearly couldn't... 342 00:14:48,465 --> 00:14:51,112 it is never going to stop sucking. 343 00:14:52,295 --> 00:14:54,536 [EXHALES] 344 00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:57,422 [SIGHS] That... that was... 345 00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,100 that was pretty good. 346 00:14:59,138 --> 00:15:01,563 - Yeah, I got some game. - What happens now? 347 00:15:01,756 --> 00:15:04,672 Uh, after the wedding, Izzy goes to the border. 348 00:15:04,732 --> 00:15:06,381 Back. [SNIFFS] 349 00:15:06,815 --> 00:15:09,513 - Doesn't sound like a plan. - Who said we had a plan? 350 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,134 Is this job at the border even real, or is it a threat? 351 00:15:12,143 --> 00:15:13,944 Like, "Tick-tock, time's up. What you got?" 352 00:15:13,962 --> 00:15:15,926 Of course it's real, okay? 353 00:15:15,994 --> 00:15:18,537 I'm going back. It's where I belong. I promised Leo. 354 00:15:18,561 --> 00:15:19,761 Well, then, what the hell were you three idiots 355 00:15:19,772 --> 00:15:23,380 doing in that hotel room? Like, an all-night good-bye kiss? 356 00:15:23,663 --> 00:15:25,205 - What's wrong with that? - Okay, so 357 00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:28,262 you all agreed that your place is still here 358 00:15:28,273 --> 00:15:30,333 and her place is still there 359 00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:32,057 in spite of the magic cuddle puddle? 360 00:15:32,073 --> 00:15:33,274 Mm-hmm. 361 00:15:33,695 --> 00:15:35,820 Then, Em, no offense, 362 00:15:36,012 --> 00:15:38,045 but I have to repeat it for max impact. 363 00:15:38,339 --> 00:15:40,047 You three are fucking morons. 364 00:15:40,169 --> 00:15:42,515 [FUNKY, UPBEAT POP MUSIC] 365 00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:46,766 ♪ ♪ 366 00:15:50,598 --> 00:15:52,621 I think this dress is way too cool for me. 367 00:15:52,674 --> 00:15:54,361 What makes you say that? 368 00:15:54,558 --> 00:15:56,415 I heard the meanest of the two mean girls say, 369 00:15:56,431 --> 00:15:58,101 "That dress is way too cool for her." 370 00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,449 Yeah, I'm not sure whether to blame you or the garment, 371 00:16:00,465 --> 00:16:02,236 but it does seem like you really hate each other. 372 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,825 That's it. I bought a perfectly good hemp sarong in... 373 00:16:04,841 --> 00:16:06,293 - BOTH: No. - No. Um, hey, 374 00:16:06,304 --> 00:16:09,521 Zoe, or Mango, Southwest... whatever your name is. 375 00:16:10,471 --> 00:16:13,806 That's the one. Uh, first of all, what's your name? 376 00:16:13,827 --> 00:16:16,512 - Lisa. - Oh, disappointing. 377 00:16:16,544 --> 00:16:17,858 Um, it's a wedding in the woods, 378 00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:20,553 not a community college production of "Beetlejuice." 379 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,287 - [LAUGHS] - Oh, my God, she is so mean. 380 00:16:22,323 --> 00:16:23,837 - Comes in handy. - Fine. 381 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:24,920 That one was for me, 382 00:16:24,926 --> 00:16:27,679 in hopes that you would love it and I could ridicule you. 383 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:30,321 - That seems mean. - I'll go get the real one. 384 00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:32,702 Also, would you like tea? 385 00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:34,350 - Yeah, no. - Uh, we'll take champagne. 386 00:16:34,382 --> 00:16:37,126 It's before noon, so we have tea. 387 00:16:37,168 --> 00:16:38,770 We'll take champagne. 388 00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:41,369 [PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 389 00:16:41,642 --> 00:16:45,206 ♪ ♪ 390 00:16:46,978 --> 00:16:49,615 - See, now you're just wasting my time. - Ugh. 391 00:16:51,602 --> 00:16:53,935 You are so scary. 392 00:16:53,995 --> 00:16:56,710 #NoTeaNoShades. Is that right? 393 00:16:56,743 --> 00:16:58,671 - Uh, sure. - No. 394 00:16:59,178 --> 00:17:02,241 - This feels like an empowerment moment. - Is it? 395 00:17:02,348 --> 00:17:04,353 - If you want it to be. Sure. - Bring it in, 396 00:17:04,363 --> 00:17:05,363 - bring it in. - Oh, well... 397 00:17:05,377 --> 00:17:06,901 - Oh. - All right, okay. 398 00:17:07,388 --> 00:17:09,518 - Watch the feathers. - Oh, Jesus. 399 00:17:09,548 --> 00:17:12,336 - We should be more encouraging. - Mm-hmm. 400 00:17:12,439 --> 00:17:14,275 She's growing on me, okay? 401 00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:15,902 - Don't make a big deal about it. - Fine. 402 00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:17,866 Move your ass! We have a tasting! 403 00:17:17,882 --> 00:17:20,585 - Nina. - What? I'm encouraging her to hurry up. 404 00:17:20,676 --> 00:17:22,778 - Honestly, though, with the... - I know. 405 00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:24,615 - [SNORTS] - In... in the woods. 406 00:17:24,663 --> 00:17:26,462 Birds would be like... [VOCALIZES] 407 00:17:26,568 --> 00:17:30,726 ♪ ♪ 408 00:17:38,406 --> 00:17:40,663 [BRAKES SQUEAK] [ENGINE TURNS OFF] 409 00:17:43,209 --> 00:17:45,472 [DOG BARKING] 410 00:17:46,192 --> 00:17:48,567 What you doing there, Peculiar Spice? 411 00:17:48,594 --> 00:17:49,987 We have stalkers. 412 00:17:50,051 --> 00:17:52,826 Well, not me. Dave and Carmen. 413 00:17:53,226 --> 00:17:54,470 Pretty cool, right? 414 00:17:54,492 --> 00:17:56,669 But seriously. Let them live their lives, you know? 415 00:17:56,733 --> 00:17:58,990 - Stalkers? - Yeah, like superfans. 416 00:17:59,022 --> 00:18:01,717 - Possibly paparazzi. - I... in Portland? 417 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:05,921 - For... for children's book authors. - Mm-hmm. 418 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:08,195 You've been such a lovely addition to the neighborhood. 419 00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:09,852 Oh, man. Thanks, Will. 420 00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:11,112 You know, I'm seriously thinking that I'm... 421 00:18:11,122 --> 00:18:13,534 Yeah, like, if I was buying crazy in the crazy aisle, 422 00:18:13,566 --> 00:18:15,766 you'd be the little bonus bottle of crazy... 423 00:18:15,787 --> 00:18:17,218 the attached free sample. 424 00:18:17,247 --> 00:18:19,569 - Oh... oh, my God, here they come. - Oh, boy. 425 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:22,088 Leave my family in peace! [GRUNTS] 426 00:18:22,147 --> 00:18:23,550 [SIGHS] Damn it. 427 00:18:23,574 --> 00:18:25,829 [TIRES SQUEAL] 428 00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:27,950 Is it weird that I secretly love 429 00:18:27,955 --> 00:18:29,516 those pictures of celebs losing their shit? 430 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,457 Like Britney with the umbrella. I want one like that, you know? 431 00:18:32,783 --> 00:18:35,517 [GRUNTS, STRAINS] 432 00:18:35,905 --> 00:18:38,413 [GRUNTS] You know? 433 00:18:38,798 --> 00:18:41,989 - Uh, what was the question? - Uh, "is it weird"? 434 00:18:42,026 --> 00:18:43,563 Oh, then, yes. 435 00:18:43,593 --> 00:18:46,077 - Oh. - When you tell Dave, tell him this too. 436 00:18:46,098 --> 00:18:49,597 My buyers are definitely making an offer on a house today... 437 00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:53,933 this one or another, so... 438 00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:56,538 [FUNKY MUSIC] 439 00:18:56,573 --> 00:19:00,377 ♪ ♪ 440 00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:03,768 Lisa, what's the Wi-Fi password? 441 00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:06,630 Don't make me sic Nina on you. 442 00:19:06,749 --> 00:19:09,717 [GENTLE, STIRRING MUSIC] 443 00:19:09,752 --> 00:19:13,341 ♪ ♪ 444 00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:22,692 - Wow. - [LAUGHS] Really? 445 00:19:23,961 --> 00:19:26,100 - It's perfect. - Thank you. 446 00:19:26,135 --> 00:19:28,302 ♪ ♪ 447 00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:30,671 - Are you crying? - No, shut up. 448 00:19:31,097 --> 00:19:33,258 [INHALES SHAKILY] 449 00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:35,415 Can you believe it? 450 00:19:36,220 --> 00:19:38,014 - Come here. - [LAUGHS] 451 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:39,690 [SIGHS] 452 00:19:43,677 --> 00:19:46,095 [BOTH SIGH] 453 00:19:46,132 --> 00:19:47,590 - That was nice. - Mm-hmm. 454 00:19:47,616 --> 00:19:49,538 Did I mention your mother was coming to the wedding? 455 00:19:49,559 --> 00:19:50,909 - I'm sorry? - No? Oops. 456 00:19:50,952 --> 00:19:53,113 Yeah, no, she's totally in agreement 457 00:19:53,129 --> 00:19:54,592 with the whole closure concept. 458 00:19:54,618 --> 00:19:57,482 Super excited to see Ben graduate to the rest of his life. 459 00:19:57,604 --> 00:20:00,427 - But now she's quite suddenly un-RSVP'd... - Oh, thank God. 460 00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:01,489 No, I'm just wondering. 461 00:20:01,537 --> 00:20:04,066 Since it's allegedly all good between them, 462 00:20:04,098 --> 00:20:06,484 why don't you want Jess anywhere near the wedding? 463 00:20:06,522 --> 00:20:07,941 [MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 464 00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,493 This is the part where you tell me what's going on. 465 00:20:10,525 --> 00:20:11,902 Oh. 466 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,034 - Yes, that's it. - What? 467 00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:18,023 That's the exact face Ben makes when I bring up Jess. 468 00:20:18,268 --> 00:20:22,584 What's the problem? This could be such a lovely leafy palate-cleanser. 469 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,446 Oh, I know, it's just... what a shame. 470 00:20:24,462 --> 00:20:27,124 We'll never know 'cause she can't make it. That's a bummer. [LAUGHS] 471 00:20:27,156 --> 00:20:28,607 - Izzy. - Mm-hmm? 472 00:20:28,885 --> 00:20:30,197 Sweetie. 473 00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:32,535 I know you don't know me that well, 474 00:20:32,935 --> 00:20:34,803 but trust me, you are gonna tell me. 475 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,297 - Now. - Oh, okay. 476 00:20:36,308 --> 00:20:39,505 Um, it's... the... [STAMMERS] 477 00:20:39,852 --> 00:20:41,694 It's a thing. [LAUGHS] 478 00:20:41,982 --> 00:20:43,097 - It's... - What is it? 479 00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:45,163 Okay, um... [CLEARS THROAT] 480 00:20:45,232 --> 00:20:46,518 They're addicted to each other, 481 00:20:46,534 --> 00:20:49,379 and also the drugs and alcohol that they go purchase together. 482 00:20:49,411 --> 00:20:50,970 Say what now? 483 00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:52,859 [INHALES DEEPLY] 484 00:20:52,923 --> 00:20:55,010 Basic format. They go for lunch, 485 00:20:55,026 --> 00:20:56,696 and then Ben turns up three days later 486 00:20:56,733 --> 00:20:58,951 looking like Saddam Hussein when they pulled him out of the hole. 487 00:21:00,339 --> 00:21:01,998 - Holy shit. - They do good with... 488 00:21:02,030 --> 00:21:05,653 with phones and text messages, but, um, 489 00:21:05,967 --> 00:21:10,343 in proximity, in the same space, 490 00:21:10,444 --> 00:21:13,906 they just go back to thinking they can be together. 491 00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:16,004 And what if next time they don't snap out of it? 492 00:21:16,014 --> 00:21:17,144 What if next time they just 493 00:21:17,165 --> 00:21:19,366 merrily drag each other all the way to hell? [LAUGHS SOFTLY] 494 00:21:19,718 --> 00:21:21,219 But they've worked it out, you know. 495 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,649 She even helped him find me. 496 00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:28,112 But mostly, they keep Colorado and Oregon between them. 497 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:31,762 [LAUGHS] You're messing with me, right? 498 00:21:31,848 --> 00:21:33,492 Please tell me you're messing with me. 499 00:21:33,524 --> 00:21:34,650 No, this is not a thing. 500 00:21:34,677 --> 00:21:36,966 - People do not get addicted to each other. - Mm-hmm. 501 00:21:37,158 --> 00:21:38,428 Do they? 502 00:21:39,714 --> 00:21:42,298 I... it haunts me a little less 503 00:21:42,314 --> 00:21:44,566 - that I'm not alone with it. - Oh, great. 504 00:21:46,343 --> 00:21:48,654 - Where's Nina? - No clue. 505 00:21:50,698 --> 00:21:52,523 [EXHALES SLOWLY] 506 00:21:52,539 --> 00:21:55,079 - Something's fishy. She just... - What? 507 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:59,050 - Just my spidey-sense. - [LAUGHS] Yeah. 508 00:22:01,473 --> 00:22:02,898 No... what... no. 509 00:22:02,935 --> 00:22:04,998 - Your dad didn't say anything about... - It's real. 510 00:22:06,642 --> 00:22:08,670 [CLEARS THROAT] It's real, 511 00:22:08,712 --> 00:22:12,827 and it's telling me that there's some weird shit about to go down. 512 00:22:12,913 --> 00:22:14,738 [FUNKY MUSIC] 513 00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,119 [CHUCKLES] 514 00:22:17,199 --> 00:22:19,430 - What is happening here? - What do you mean? 515 00:22:19,478 --> 00:22:21,442 Well, it's like, normally, when we stress out over 516 00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,000 complex military maneuvers like this, 517 00:22:23,032 --> 00:22:25,610 but now nobody's crying, not even me. 518 00:22:26,143 --> 00:22:27,680 I guess we're happy. 519 00:22:27,808 --> 00:22:29,842 - [BABY COOING] - [CHUCKLES] Hey. 520 00:22:29,853 --> 00:22:31,101 Holy shit. 521 00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:33,250 - [BOTH LAUGH] - [LUCY AND ROSE COOING] 522 00:22:33,497 --> 00:22:34,650 Holy shit. 523 00:22:34,917 --> 00:22:36,577 - What? - Look. 524 00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:39,122 [CONFRONTATIONAL MUSIC] 525 00:22:39,157 --> 00:22:42,949 ♪ ♪ 526 00:22:47,396 --> 00:22:48,927 Ah, there we go. 527 00:22:48,965 --> 00:22:50,833 - Nina, what are you doing? - [SIGHS] 528 00:22:50,875 --> 00:22:53,005 - Oh, hi, Griswolds. - Why are you hammering 529 00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:55,305 one of Will's "for sale" signs into our front lawn? 530 00:22:55,337 --> 00:22:57,754 Oh, this? This is the only way that I'm putting up 531 00:22:57,770 --> 00:22:59,824 with another round of your edgy bullshit. 532 00:22:59,910 --> 00:23:02,879 [ROUSING ROCK MUSIC] 533 00:23:02,914 --> 00:23:04,980 ♪ ♪ 534 00:23:05,797 --> 00:23:09,288 ♪ Don't need permission to do what I want ♪ 535 00:23:09,491 --> 00:23:12,815 ♪ Make my decisions, be my own boss ♪ 536 00:23:12,916 --> 00:23:16,706 ♪ Making it my mission, ignore the system ♪ 537 00:23:16,727 --> 00:23:20,341 ♪ Don't need permission to be a woman ♪ 538 00:23:21,702 --> 00:23:24,771 ♪ To be a woman, yeah ♪ 539 00:23:24,867 --> 00:23:26,836 ♪ ♪ 540 00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:30,920 ♪ Who says I need feminine to always want to win? ♪ 541 00:23:30,931 --> 00:23:32,772 ♪ I like to think ladylike ♪ 542 00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:34,559 ♪ Is getting some dirt in your nails ♪ 543 00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:36,321 ♪ And I don't like to ask please ♪ 544 00:23:36,379 --> 00:23:38,146 ♪ I'm not gonna beg on my knees ♪ 545 00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:39,844 ♪ And I won't apologize ♪ 546 00:23:39,865 --> 00:23:42,074 ♪ Yeah, I'm gonna take what's mine ♪ 547 00:23:42,153 --> 00:23:45,212 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 548 00:23:45,239 --> 00:23:48,420 [WHOOSHING] 549 00:23:51,161 --> 00:23:56,165 [INSTRUMENTAL FLOURISH] 40699