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1
00:00:10,022 --> 00:00:12,506
No, please don't go.
I'm coming right now.
2
00:00:12,531 --> 00:00:15,027
I just said I'm coming right now.
I'm outside.
3
00:00:15,052 --> 00:00:17,357
Yeah, I can see you. I'm waving.
4
00:00:17,382 --> 00:00:20,227
FAINT LAUGHTER AND MUSIC
5
00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:26,477
PHONE BUZZES
6
00:00:26,502 --> 00:00:27,917
Hey.
7
00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:30,506
Tom. Erm...
8
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,307
I'd like to catch up with you,
but I really need to get this bus,
9
00:00:33,332 --> 00:00:36,107
and I'd give you a hug, but - hands.
You didn't wash your hands?
10
00:00:36,132 --> 00:00:38,437
I washed my hands,
they're just wet from washing.
11
00:00:38,462 --> 00:00:41,077
Thea... I need to get this bus.
I hope you're good.
12
00:00:41,102 --> 00:00:43,506
Stop saying that.
You don't get the bus.
13
00:00:43,531 --> 00:00:45,716
I get the bus.
No, you don't. Yes, I do.
14
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,747
Right. Which bus are you getting?
PHONE BUZZES
15
00:00:47,772 --> 00:00:50,227
All right... That the bus driver
calling you now?
16
00:00:50,252 --> 00:00:51,716
Telling you he's outside, yeah?
17
00:00:54,382 --> 00:00:56,506
OK, fine. You caught me.
18
00:00:56,531 --> 00:00:58,307
CHUCKLING: You're such a shit liar.
19
00:00:59,892 --> 00:01:00,997
How's work?
20
00:01:01,022 --> 00:01:02,836
You don't care about my work.
21
00:01:02,861 --> 00:01:04,747
That's not fair. I do.
It's fine.
22
00:01:04,772 --> 00:01:08,077
Sold any... Picassos lately?
23
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,867
I don't sell anything.
24
00:01:09,892 --> 00:01:13,747
I advise rich white people who want
to spend obscene amounts of money
25
00:01:13,772 --> 00:01:16,836
on paintings
they're gonna keep in storage.
26
00:01:16,861 --> 00:01:19,357
Whatever. I've told you this, like,
a million times.
27
00:01:19,382 --> 00:01:21,357
How's, urn...
28
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,357
Please don't.
..Ralph the poet?
29
00:01:23,382 --> 00:01:25,077
It's pronounced "Rafe".
30
00:01:25,102 --> 00:01:26,477
Is it a ridiculous name?
31
00:01:26,502 --> 00:01:28,797
Yes, but mispronouncing it
doesn't make you impressive.
32
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,357
I'm not trying to impress you.
33
00:01:32,502 --> 00:01:35,107
Ralph's a patronising dick.
Yeah, I know that.
34
00:01:36,382 --> 00:01:39,197
He wanted to bang you.
It's not my problem.
35
00:01:39,222 --> 00:01:41,227
Please stop telling people
that we broke up
36
00:01:41,252 --> 00:01:42,997
because I was jealous
of Miss Jenkins.
37
00:01:43,022 --> 00:01:45,197
It makes me look ridiculous.
Well, it's true.
38
00:01:45,222 --> 00:01:47,357
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
39
00:01:47,382 --> 00:01:50,227
We bumped into Nina at the cinema.
40
00:01:50,252 --> 00:01:53,557
She called me Tommy and was really
excited to see how I'd grown,
41
00:01:53,582 --> 00:01:55,947
you gotjealous and dumped me.
I wasn't jealous.
42
00:01:55,972 --> 00:01:59,197
Also, don't call her Nina.
She was our history teacher.
43
00:01:59,222 --> 00:02:00,667
A long bloody time ago!
44
00:02:00,692 --> 00:02:02,636
I don't want to talk about this.
I'm going home.
45
00:02:02,661 --> 00:02:04,557
You can use the bathroom.
What?
46
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:08,506
Well, you were waiting
for the bathroom.
47
00:02:08,531 --> 00:02:11,027
I think it's pretty obvious
I was waiting to talk to you.
48
00:02:12,892 --> 00:02:14,077
T...
49
00:02:14,102 --> 00:02:16,716
I wanted to do the whole thing.
50
00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:19,667
Marriage, kids...
51
00:02:19,692 --> 00:02:22,506
Affairs when one of us -
probably you - got bored.
52
00:02:22,531 --> 00:02:24,357
And then you just dropped me.
53
00:02:24,382 --> 00:02:27,506
It's like, you were my best friend.
We were together for years.
54
00:02:27,531 --> 00:02:29,636
And now you avoid me at parties.
55
00:02:38,661 --> 00:02:40,117
What are you doing?
56
00:02:40,142 --> 00:02:42,586
I've had three glasses of Prosecco,
so I'm feeling brave.
57
00:02:43,812 --> 00:02:45,437
Get ready for my TED talk.
58
00:02:46,611 --> 00:02:48,716
I'm only doing this one more time,
Tom.
59
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,947
Remember Year Seven history?
60
00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:06,117
Er... Not really.
61
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,227
I do.
62
00:03:07,252 --> 00:03:10,667
Miss Jenkins was teaching us
about the English Civil War.
63
00:03:10,692 --> 00:03:13,027
Is this relevant to the story?
No.
64
00:03:13,052 --> 00:03:15,386
No, it's just interesting.
65
00:03:15,411 --> 00:03:17,747
The point is,
I used to ask a lot of questions.
66
00:03:17,772 --> 00:03:19,557
That, I remember.
67
00:03:19,582 --> 00:03:20,947
Anyway...
68
00:03:20,972 --> 00:03:23,756
It was a Thursday morning, and you
had just stolen my chocolate bar.
69
00:03:23,781 --> 00:03:26,497
How the hell do you remember
this stuff? I swear...
70
00:03:26,522 --> 00:03:30,736
I raised my hand to ask Miss Jenkins
a question, and...
71
00:03:30,761 --> 00:03:33,577
she started doing
this terrible Nigerian accent.
72
00:03:33,602 --> 00:03:34,736
She goes,
73
00:03:34,761 --> 00:03:36,247
MIMICS: "Eh, eh, eh!
74
00:03:36,272 --> 00:03:38,937
"T'ea has something to say again!
75
00:03:38,962 --> 00:03:42,247
"You know what you are?
You're the bloody Energizer Bunny.
76
00:03:42,272 --> 00:03:45,047
"You just go on, and on, and on."
77
00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:48,097
Everyone laughed.
78
00:03:48,122 --> 00:03:51,217
She got what she wanted,
cos I just shut the hell up.
79
00:03:51,242 --> 00:03:53,047
I was humiliated.
80
00:03:53,072 --> 00:03:54,526
I remember just...
81
00:03:54,551 --> 00:03:57,217
I just sort of stayed quiet
for a few clays,
82
00:03:57,242 --> 00:03:59,656
cos I was trying
to figure it out. Like, why?
83
00:04:01,272 --> 00:04:03,887
Why had she done that?
What did I do wrong?
84
00:04:03,912 --> 00:04:07,447
Had I really, like,
pissed her off by giving a shit?
85
00:04:07,472 --> 00:04:08,807
Could she be...
86
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,377
And you just say,
"No, no, no. It's too far.
87
00:04:11,402 --> 00:04:13,736
"Don't be so sensitive, Thea."
88
00:04:13,761 --> 00:04:16,497
I didn't want to accept the truth
that she was racist,
89
00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:18,247
because it was too scary.
90
00:04:18,272 --> 00:04:20,736
So I just moved
to Mr Diggs' class instead.
91
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,297
Do you remember Mr Diggs?
92
00:04:22,322 --> 00:04:24,497
Everyone used to avoid him
and say he was rank.
93
00:04:24,522 --> 00:04:27,377
Oh, they were right.
Do you remember his BO?
94
00:04:27,402 --> 00:04:29,656
The man stank!
95
00:04:29,681 --> 00:04:32,406
But at least he didn't bully me
because I wanted to learn.
96
00:04:32,431 --> 00:04:35,656
If I'd have known Miss Jenkins
said that, I'd have...
97
00:04:35,681 --> 00:04:37,217
I'd have had a go at her.
I'd have...
98
00:04:38,551 --> 00:04:40,736
...made her say sorry.
It's not really about her.
99
00:04:40,761 --> 00:04:44,247
I'm just trying to explain to you
why I'm not jealous of her.
100
00:04:44,272 --> 00:04:46,767
I'm disgusted by her.
101
00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:50,217
And I'm still furious with myself
for not complaining about it.
102
00:04:50,242 --> 00:04:52,167
Most of the kids in our class
were Black.
103
00:04:53,352 --> 00:04:57,327
Miss Jenkins loved Temi, john...
Why would she have...?
104
00:04:57,352 --> 00:04:58,937
Cos my parents had money.
105
00:05:00,792 --> 00:05:03,167
And they-they took me to museums
on the weekend.
106
00:05:03,192 --> 00:05:06,377
Because I didn't fit into
her narrow definition of Blackness.
107
00:05:07,431 --> 00:05:10,497
Racist white people have one
or two reactions to me, Tom.
108
00:05:10,522 --> 00:05:14,017
There's group one. They hear
my voice, they see my career.
109
00:05:14,042 --> 00:05:16,767
They see my expertise,
and they absolutely love it.
110
00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:18,297
They want to put me on posters.
111
00:05:18,322 --> 00:05:21,577
"Look at Thea! She hasn't been shot!
112
00:05:21,602 --> 00:05:23,327
"She has a good job!
113
00:05:23,352 --> 00:05:26,017
"Institutionalised racism
isn't a thing.
114
00:05:26,042 --> 00:05:28,447
"Those other Blacks
just need to put their knives away
115
00:05:28,472 --> 00:05:31,447
"and speak properly." And then,
there's group two, and I really...
116
00:05:31,472 --> 00:05:33,497
I REALLY piss off group two.
117
00:05:33,522 --> 00:05:36,137
"Blacks come over here and they
start moaning about prejudice,
118
00:05:36,162 --> 00:05:37,807
"but look at her.
119
00:05:37,832 --> 00:05:39,447
"Look at all the things she's got!
120
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:42,577
"Why's this uppity bitch so well
off? She needs to know her place.
121
00:05:42,602 --> 00:05:44,297
"It's not fair!"
122
00:05:44,322 --> 00:05:46,937
Miss Jenkins is in group two, Tom.
123
00:05:46,962 --> 00:05:49,606
She loves Black people,
especially Black boys,
124
00:05:49,631 --> 00:05:51,327
as long as they're beneath her.
125
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:52,967
That's so messed up.
126
00:05:52,992 --> 00:05:54,887
HE EXHALES
But...
127
00:05:54,912 --> 00:05:57,217
I don't know
what it's got to do with me.
128
00:05:57,242 --> 00:05:59,526
I have told you that story before.
129
00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:01,327
No, you didn't.
130
00:06:01,352 --> 00:06:04,577
We never...
I'd remember if you told me that.
131
00:06:04,602 --> 00:06:06,776
The first time was when we were 23.
132
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:09,167
I was working in that gallery
in Soho.
133
00:06:09,192 --> 00:06:11,087
I wouldn't even bring that stuff up
with you,
134
00:06:11,112 --> 00:06:14,327
but you came to see me at lunch,
and you were being so nice.
135
00:06:14,352 --> 00:06:16,247
You were so sweet.
136
00:06:16,272 --> 00:06:19,406
And I sat there, and I tried
to explain everything to you,
137
00:06:19,431 --> 00:06:21,736
and you told me
that I was overreacting.
138
00:06:21,761 --> 00:06:24,087
I don't think
I would have said that.
139
00:06:24,112 --> 00:06:26,087
I don't remember all this stuff
like you do.
140
00:06:26,112 --> 00:06:27,856
I wish I didn't remember everything.
141
00:06:27,881 --> 00:06:30,047
I wish that I didn't
have to think about everything!
142
00:06:30,072 --> 00:06:34,047
I'm constantly trying to figure out
why it is that I'm being mistreated,
143
00:06:34,072 --> 00:06:36,497
and then,
being told that I'm paranoid!
144
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,047
Can we...
145
00:06:38,072 --> 00:06:39,577
Can we go outside?
146
00:06:39,602 --> 00:06:40,776
For a second. Please.
147
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,807
I just need to take a minute,
cos I...
148
00:06:42,832 --> 00:06:45,167
Throwing all this stuff at me.
I know it's...
149
00:06:45,192 --> 00:06:47,217
I know it's really important.
150
00:06:47,242 --> 00:06:49,526
And l-l want to just make it right,
you know?
151
00:06:50,712 --> 00:06:52,297
I just need to pause for a second.
152
00:06:52,322 --> 00:06:54,856
Also, I think there's some people
waiting for the toilet
153
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,167
that don't want to bother us.
154
00:07:15,962 --> 00:07:18,047
I mean, you were happy, before.
With me.
155
00:07:25,631 --> 00:07:27,377
Of course I was happy.
156
00:07:27,402 --> 00:07:28,967
Most girls have a story
157
00:07:28,992 --> 00:07:32,577
about the boy who treated them like
shit when they were 16, but I...
158
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:36,967
...l had you.
159
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:43,047
If you didn't make me so happy,
this would be a lot easier.
160
00:07:47,962 --> 00:07:50,687
God, T, you're so difficult to read.
161
00:07:53,602 --> 00:07:56,937
I don't remember that conversation
at the gallery, all right?
162
00:07:56,962 --> 00:07:58,856
But I do remember being...
163
00:07:58,881 --> 00:08:02,297
23 and listening to my girlfriend,
164
00:08:02,322 --> 00:08:04,726
someone I'd been chasing
since we were kids...
165
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,656
I did all the chasing.
166
00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:10,967
...my girlfriend,
who calls cocktail parties "work",
167
00:08:10,992 --> 00:08:15,377
who lives in a house her
lovely parents help her out with,
168
00:08:15,402 --> 00:08:17,726
who pays a guy called Hunter
50 quid a week
169
00:08:17,751 --> 00:08:19,297
to teach her how to do a squat...
170
00:08:19,322 --> 00:08:22,247
My 23-year-old girlfriend,
171
00:08:22,272 --> 00:08:24,577
who has two degrees to my zero
172
00:08:24,602 --> 00:08:27,577
and will soon be light years away
from me.
173
00:08:27,602 --> 00:08:29,656
Me, a normal guy,
174
00:08:29,681 --> 00:08:33,726
on minimum wage,
from a normal family,
175
00:08:33,751 --> 00:08:37,047
with a dad who kills himself
working 14-hour days.
176
00:08:37,072 --> 00:08:38,606
I've got a dodgy uncle
177
00:08:38,631 --> 00:08:42,167
and a brother
who has made some bad choices,
178
00:08:42,192 --> 00:08:44,087
but has been let out early
on good behaviour,
179
00:08:44,112 --> 00:08:46,497
so I don't remember
that conversation, Thea.
180
00:08:46,522 --> 00:08:48,687
Because I probably wasn't listening.
181
00:08:48,712 --> 00:08:50,497
I switch off
when you start talking about
182
00:08:50,522 --> 00:08:52,726
straight white men
who rule the world,
183
00:08:52,751 --> 00:08:55,887
because I don't know
who the fuck you're talking about.
184
00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:57,776
Right, we're finally doing this.
185
00:08:57,801 --> 00:09:00,497
OK? And l-l need to tell you
everything.
186
00:09:00,522 --> 00:09:03,297
Cos despite what I just said, Thea,
187
00:09:03,322 --> 00:09:05,526
I know about the bullshit.
188
00:09:05,551 --> 00:09:09,217
Me and the boys, we used to do a
lot of dumb stuff when we were kids.
189
00:09:09,242 --> 00:09:11,087
I always got away with it.
190
00:09:11,112 --> 00:09:13,807
I never got stopped,
I never got searched,
191
00:09:13,832 --> 00:09:16,807
and I never got attacked by a white
gang on my way home from school.
192
00:09:16,832 --> 00:09:19,656
And for a long time,
I thought that was a coincidence.
193
00:09:19,681 --> 00:09:22,687
Except the gang thing.
They were pretty openly racist.
194
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:25,807
But generally,
I thought I got second chances
195
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:28,017
because I had good chat
and people liked me.
196
00:09:28,042 --> 00:09:30,807
It took me a long time
to know what else was going on.
197
00:09:30,832 --> 00:09:33,526
But I can see it now, right?
198
00:09:33,551 --> 00:09:36,087
I know now.
But I was never that guy.
199
00:09:36,112 --> 00:09:37,726
I was never that...
200
00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:40,726
"Take our country back,
racism is fake" group two guy.
201
00:09:40,751 --> 00:09:42,656
So don't talk to me
like I'm that guy.
202
00:09:42,681 --> 00:09:45,247
Don't talk to me
like you don't know me, Thea,
203
00:09:45,272 --> 00:09:46,656
cos it really hurts.
204
00:09:46,681 --> 00:09:48,447
God, if...
205
00:09:48,472 --> 00:09:51,327
If I was that guy,
I wouldn't exactly...
206
00:09:51,352 --> 00:09:53,606
Have Black friends and girlfriends?
207
00:09:53,631 --> 00:09:55,247
One girlfriend.
208
00:09:55,272 --> 00:09:58,217
Two girlfriends.
One girlfriend. You. Two.
209
00:09:58,242 --> 00:09:59,726
One, me.
210
00:09:59,751 --> 00:10:01,017
Two, Keesha.
211
00:10:01,042 --> 00:10:02,937
You got with her
after the Year Nine talent show.
212
00:10:02,962 --> 00:10:05,087
I can't believe you remember that!
213
00:10:05,112 --> 00:10:06,776
Keesha kicked me out of her group
214
00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:08,497
cos she said
I danced like a chicken.
215
00:10:08,522 --> 00:10:09,967
HE LAUGHS
216
00:10:09,992 --> 00:10:12,167
So I ended up with Jessica A
and Jessica B,
217
00:10:12,192 --> 00:10:14,887
singing 'Too Close' by Next.
HE LAUGHS
218
00:10:14,912 --> 00:10:19,137
Their choreography was complex,
so I just... did the Macarena.
219
00:10:19,162 --> 00:10:20,606
THEY LAUGH
220
00:10:20,631 --> 00:10:23,577
I can't believe the teachers
let you do a song about a boner.
221
00:10:24,631 --> 00:10:26,447
Oh, my gosh. It's about an erection?
222
00:10:26,472 --> 00:10:29,856
Yeah, they sing about being hard
in the first line!
223
00:10:29,881 --> 00:10:34,497
LAUGHING: I thought it was "hard"
as in, like, tough!
224
00:10:35,832 --> 00:10:37,526
Look, Thea...
225
00:10:37,551 --> 00:10:40,807
I can learn all the words, yeah?
I can post stuff online.
226
00:10:40,832 --> 00:10:42,726
I don't care about that stuff, Tom.
227
00:10:42,751 --> 00:10:44,577
People who perform activism
228
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,606
can rarely see their own
shitty behaviour. So, what?
229
00:10:47,631 --> 00:10:49,167
You were never into Ralph?
230
00:10:49,192 --> 00:10:50,776
Rafe.
231
00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:52,327
Rafe's a joke.
232
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:55,367
And for the record, he was
weirdly obsessed with your body.
233
00:10:55,392 --> 00:10:57,137
He kept asking me how much you lift.
234
00:10:57,162 --> 00:10:59,937
Yeah? What did you tell him?
235
00:11:03,242 --> 00:11:05,577
I should really go.
Thea?
236
00:11:06,801 --> 00:11:09,247
You just dumped me.
We never had a fight.
237
00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:13,687
There was no shouting, no screaming.
238
00:11:15,162 --> 00:11:18,367
We slept together, and then
you kicked me out of your life.
239
00:11:18,392 --> 00:11:20,577
I haven't seen you in a year.
240
00:11:21,912 --> 00:11:23,367
That's not normal, is it?
241
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:26,007
Tom, I think I was just exhausted.
242
00:11:27,881 --> 00:11:30,297
I know I live
a ridiculously good life.
243
00:11:31,832 --> 00:11:34,347
I know that I am protected
from the racism
244
00:11:34,372 --> 00:11:37,107
that literally kills
poor people who look like me.
245
00:11:38,912 --> 00:11:42,726
I know that I live in a bubble,
but it is very easily permeated.
246
00:11:42,751 --> 00:11:45,606
So this isn't easy for me.
Talking to you about this,
247
00:11:45,631 --> 00:11:48,167
it just makes me feel sad
and betrayed.
248
00:11:48,192 --> 00:11:50,417
Because here I am,
tearing myself apart
249
00:11:50,442 --> 00:11:53,967
and you still don't get it.
You never will, so I'm done, Tom,
250
00:11:53,992 --> 00:11:55,887
and I don't want to teach you
how the world works.
251
00:11:55,912 --> 00:11:57,526
I can't...
252
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,687
l-l can't go through that again.
I...
253
00:11:59,712 --> 00:12:01,997
I can't, not with you.
254
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,717
It hurts too much.
255
00:12:03,742 --> 00:12:06,457
Why didn't we talk like this before?
256
00:12:06,482 --> 00:12:08,697
I wanted you to think I was fun.
257
00:12:08,722 --> 00:12:10,866
Guess I wasn't as confident
back then.
258
00:12:10,891 --> 00:12:12,377
You hid it well.
259
00:12:14,641 --> 00:12:15,977
We could just be mates.
260
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,786
You can't be friends with people
you want to have sex with.
261
00:12:18,811 --> 00:12:21,866
Says who?
Like, every film. Ever.
262
00:12:21,891 --> 00:12:23,866
We're totally different people.
263
00:12:24,972 --> 00:12:26,947
Living totally different lives.
264
00:12:28,092 --> 00:12:30,977
I'm not into your shit,
you're not into mine.
265
00:12:33,561 --> 00:12:34,897
But this...
266
00:12:36,134 --> 00:12:38,786
This just works. We work.
267
00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:42,946
It's not enough.
268
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,396
Thea...
269
00:12:45,941 --> 00:12:46,916
I lied to you before.
270
00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:50,306
I WAS trying to impress you.
271
00:12:50,331 --> 00:12:51,986
Always trying to impress you.
272
00:13:08,011 --> 00:13:10,116
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