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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:06,313 MIGUEL:�Newfoundland�finds itself�in�a�housing�crisis. 2 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:08,606 All�their�houses�are�on a�rock�in�the�Atlantic. 3 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,276 EMMA:�"Dismantle�the�CBC" supporters�insist�the�only�man 4 00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:14,952 who�can�save�Canada�is�the the�star�of�Dragon's�Den. 5 00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:18,275 MIGUEL:�And�is�Mel�Gibson's comeback�Hollywood's�latest 6 00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,948 attempt�to�prove�it's not�run�by�Jews? 7 00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:24,455 (THEME�MUSIC�PLAYING) 8 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,337 Welcome�to�The�Beaverton. 9 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,671 Canada's�least�fact-checked source�of�news. 10 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,107 I'm�Miguel�Rivas. 11 00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:44,182 And�our�researchers�tell�me I'm�Emma�Hunter, 12 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,610 but�what�do�they�know? 13 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:47,846 Our�top�story, 14 00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:50,347 for�the�first�time�since taking�office,�Prime�Minister, 15 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:54,023 Justin�Trudeau�finds�himself trailing�another�politician 16 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,690 in�the�polls. 17 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:59,532 According�to�a�recent�survey, nine�out�of�10�Canadians�say 18 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,129 their�favorite�public�servant is�the�New�York�Times�version 19 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,203 of�Justin�Trudeau, 20 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:08,028 citing�his�unwavering commitment�to�feminism, 21 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,798 the�environment, and�photo�bombing. 22 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:14,037 The�New�York�Times�Trudeau is�said�to�be�more�compatible 23 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,544 with�the�Canadian�electorate 24 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,135 than�his�arms-dealing, pipeline-approving, 25 00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:21,048 regular�bombing�counterpart. 26 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,681 While�a�PMO�spokesperson dismissed�suggestions 27 00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:26,146 that�the�poll�results are�cause�for�concern, 28 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:28,886 the�Prime�Minister�has unveiled�a�new�attack�ad, 29 00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:30,718 accusing�Times�Trudeau of�being 30 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:34,234 an�over-the-top�caricature of�a�progressive�man, 31 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:38,160 and�demanding�he�stop�giving the�nation�"ideas." 32 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:40,569 After�the�success 33 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,200 of�CRTC-mandated skinny�cable�packages, 34 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,406 where�you�get�fewer�channels for�less�money, 35 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,408 Bell�and�Rogers�are�now offering�their�customers 36 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,880 a�skinny�Internet�bundle, 37 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:51,538 where�for�a�lower monthly�cost,�you�can�access 38 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,248 up�to�10�websites. 39 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,579 For�$10.99�a�month, 40 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,184 subscribers�will�be allowed�access 41 00:01:56,216 --> 00:02:00,016 to�popular�websites such�as�cbc.ca,�ask.com, 42 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:04,193 and�a�German�Star�Trek forum�called�duesselworf.de. 43 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,434 Said�one�user on�his�Google+�page, 44 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,889 "It's�nice�to�save a�bit�of�money, 45 00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:10,197 "but�I�do�wish�the�closest thing�to�sports 46 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:12,200 "wasn't�the�three�French weather�sites. 47 00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:15,442 "Also,�I'm�masturbating to�the�weirdest�stuff�now." 48 00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:18,065 For�elite�clientele looking�to�pay�a�little�more, 49 00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:19,744 Bell�is�introducing Platinum�Internet, 50 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:22,412 which�gives�customers access�to�the�entire�Internet 51 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,912 at�blistering�speeds�Canadians didn't�know�were�normal 52 00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:26,414 everywhere�else�in�the�world. 53 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,950 For�many,�the�moment you�become�a�parent 54 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,583 is�the�moment you�ask�yourself, 55 00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:34,218 "When�can�I�leave�this�child at�home�alone 56 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,624 "and�get�back to�my�regular�life?" 57 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:37,793 No,�it's�not. 58 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,964 Miguel's�attitude is�exactly�the�reason 59 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,459 our�society�is�becoming 60 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,301 dangerously�overprotective of�our�children. 61 00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:46,227 Here�to�tell�you�how to�leave�your�kids�at�home 62 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,796 at�a�reasonable�age 63 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:51,404 is�child�safety�and�parenting expert,�Terrence�Vollup. 64 00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:52,737 -Hi,�Terrence. -Thanks,�Emma. 65 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,312 -(CHUCKLES) -Children�are�resilient. 66 00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:56,407 They�can�walk�to�school by�themselves 67 00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:58,482 or�make a�snack�without�supervision. 68 00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,448 But�there's�one�thing�they can't�deal�with�on�their�own. 69 00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,981 Band�saw�or�pressure�cooker? 70 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,587 Nosey�neighbors. 71 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:08,418 Specifically,�the�ones that�call�Social�Services 72 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:10,994 every�time�you�leave�them alone�for,�like, 73 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,334 two�goddamn�seconds. 74 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:16,326 Thankfully,�there�is a�great�new�startup 75 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:19,132 that�can�help�with�that. Social�Services�Services. 76 00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,795 Okay.�What�do�they�do? 77 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:23,103 They�protect�your�family from�the�prying�eyes 78 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,636 of�well-meaning�neighbors. 79 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,171 Their�basic�package�includes a�cardboard�cutout 80 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,277 of�you�mounted�onto�a�Roomba 81 00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,679 to�pass�open�windows at�bedtime. 82 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:35,521 It's�like�getting�a�babysitter and�a�house�cleaner�in�one. 83 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,518 Why�not�just hire�a�babysitter? 84 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:40,517 Twenty�bucks�an�hour,�plus Pizza�Pockets�for�15�years. 85 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,693 Trust�me,�this�is�cheaper. 86 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,189 Of�course, if�you're�interested 87 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,364 in�paying�a�little�more, 88 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,858 the�next�package includes�a�secret�tunnel 89 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,031 connecting�your�basement 90 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,158 to�the�nearest major�intersection, 91 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:54,627 so�you�can�leave�the�house without�Judgy-Face�next�door 92 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,167 waving�down�the�cops and�ruining�date�night. 93 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:59,673 Ugh,�communities are�the�worst. 94 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,536 Um,�but�what�if,�say, someone�you�know 95 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,552 sees�you�and�your�spouse out�in�public�without�a�child. 96 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,678 -Won't�that�raise�an�alarm? -Absolutely. 97 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:11,045 That's�why�they�also�offer a�premium�service. 98 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,554 It's�expensive,�but,�hey,�you can't�really�put�a�price 99 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,217 on�neglecting your�child,�right? 100 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,556 Hey,�I'm�not�sure�that's... 101 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,660 It�includes an�emergency�blow-up�child. 102 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:22,232 The�minute�you�see�a�familiar face,�press�the�button, 103 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,062 and�that�little whipper-snapper inflates�faster 104 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,067 than�the�air�bags in�your�minivan 105 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,739 that�you�left�in�your�driveway for�the�sake�of�appearances. 106 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:32,709 So,�Terrence,�what�do�you suggest�is�the�right�age 107 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,069 to�leave�your�child�at�home alone�by�themselves? 108 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,738 (CHUCKLES)�How�should�I�know? 109 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:40,206 I'm�not�a�parent. I'm�a�parenting�expert. 110 00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:43,346 Personally,�I�don't�care for�children. 111 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:46,193 Look,�the�reality�is some�parents�are�neglectful. 112 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,089 What�happens�if Social�Services�Services 113 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,591 goes�into�a�home 114 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,362 and�realizes�there's a�legitimate�reason�to�contact 115 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,761 actual�Social�Services? 116 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,602 In�that�case,�they�gossip with�your�neighbors, 117 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,428 who�will�take�it�from�there. 118 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,933 We�live�in�an�age where�parent-shaming 119 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,102 is�the�biggest�threat 120 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,403 to�your�family's�security. 121 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,074 Look�at�what�happens when�a�pregnant�woman 122 00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:04,702 takes�a�sip�of�wine 123 00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:07,367 or�how�fast�someone�smashes a�window�to�rescue�your�child 124 00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:10,107 from�a�room-temperature�car. 125 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,783 Something�like�that�hits the�Internet, 126 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,781 and�suddenly you're�the�next�Octo-Mom. 127 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,783 Wow.�Thanks,�Terrence. I'm�sure�Miguel�learned�a�lot. 128 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,616 (LAUGHS) 129 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:21,788 When�we�return, is�50�the�new�30? 130 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,261 Scientists�say,�"Stop�it. That's�not�how�time�works." 131 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,588 You�know,�for�me, 30�is�the�new�50. 132 00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,811 Coming�up�later... 133 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,439 EMMA:�Donald�Trump�holds�his weekly�cabinet�meeting�at�the 134 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,084 K�Street�Carl's�Jr. 135 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,276 MIGUEL:�Bombardier�announces a�new�round�of�layoffs 136 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:47,911 for�more�workers than�it�currently�employs. 137 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:50,217 EMMA:�And�we'll�catch�up with�Russian�punk�activists 138 00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:51,249 Pussy�Riot, 139 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,724 who've�grown�up,�mellowed�out, 140 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:55,922 and�now�go�by Vagina�Disagreement. 141 00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:58,955 A�pregnant�teen�is�thanking prolife�advocates 142 00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:00,961 who�inadvertently�showed�her the�location 143 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:03,763 of�an�abortion�clinic by�protesting�in�front�of�it. 144 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:07,767 According�to�18-year-old Alison�Stomeau, 145 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,900 "I�had�no�idea�there�was a�women's�clinic�there 146 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:13,236 "'til�I�saw�them�chanting and�walking�in�circles. 147 00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,782 "Plus,�when�I�left,�I�was handed�a�pamphlet�that�said, 148 00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:19,078 "over�100,000�women�have abortions�in�Canada 149 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,152 "every�year. 150 00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:22,979 "Suddenly,�I�didn't�feel so�alone." 151 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,622 Stomeau�plans�to�join the�prolife�advocates 152 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:27,091 at�their�next�protest 153 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,960 to�help�educate�other�women about�clinic�locations. 154 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,830 The�Department�of Oceans�and�Fisheries 155 00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:34,485 has�a�grim�message for�Canadians. 156 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:35,957 According�to�a�new�report, 157 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:38,155 if�we�continue�to�overfish at�our�current�rate, 158 00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:39,327 in�just�15�years, 159 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:41,165 we'll�be�forced�to�eat the�weird�nightmare�fish 160 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,997 that�dwell�at the�bottom�of�our�oceans. 161 00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:46,766 Over�80%�of�aquatic�species are�at�risk. 162 00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:49,336 Supermarkets�will�soon run�out�of�salmon�and�tuna, 163 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,605 forcing�them�to�sell 164 00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:51,783 horrifying�deep-sea replacements 165 00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:54,181 like�gulper�eels,�dragonfish, 166 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,950 or�please,�God, not�blood-sucking�lampreys. 167 00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,854 The�report�warned�that other�forms�of�food�production 168 00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:01,116 will�also�become�disgusting 169 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,994 in�the�near�future, stating�that, 170 00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,692 "Thanks�to�our�unsustainable cattle�farming�techniques, 171 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,992 "sirloin�steak�is�only a�few�decades�away 172 00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:11,327 "from�being�replaced with�tarantula�mignon." 173 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,804 To�Montreal�now,�the�city that,�like�your�grandmother, 174 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:16,303 was�probably�swinging in�the�'60s. 175 00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:18,695 Finally,�Montreal�has instituted�reforms 176 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,868 to�its�electoral�process in�order�to�address 177 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,307 the�city's�ongoing�problem with�corruption. 178 00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:25,482 Our�own�Marilla�Wex�reports. 179 00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,051 Montreal�is�widely�regarded 180 00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:29,719 as�Canada's most�corrupt�metropolis, 181 00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:31,549 with�organized�crime firmly�embedded 182 00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:34,054 in�all�the�cornerstones of�the�city's�economy. 183 00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:38,216 From�construction�sites�all the�way�to�homeless�shelters. 184 00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:40,227 Years�of�public�inquiries have�done�little 185 00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:41,386 to�fix�the�problem, 186 00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:43,727 prompting�Montrealers to�openly�embrace 187 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,700 their�ruling�mob-ocracy 188 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,371 on�one�condition. 189 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,740 Open�elections�for the�position�of�city�mob�boss. 190 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,567 It�was�an�offer the�mafia�couldn't�refuse 191 00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:56,913 or,�at�the�very�least, chose�not�to. 192 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,683 On�the�eve�of�the�final leader's�debate 193 00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:00,251 before�the�election, 194 00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:02,579 candidates�from�each�of the�city's�three�major�parties 195 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:04,582 agreed�to�sit�down�with�me, 196 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,424 on�condition�that we�do�so�publicly 197 00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:08,222 in�front�of�several�witnesses. 198 00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,564 Hey,�vote�for�me.�I�know where�your�mother�lives. 199 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:13,090 MARILLA:�Joey�Cerignola, whose�Italians�are�known 200 00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,355 as�Montreal's�natural governing�mafia, 201 00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:17,564 says�he's�running�on a�platform�rooted 202 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:19,767 in�traditional�values. 203 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,069 It's�like�I�always�say, 204 00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:23,401 family�first, 205 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,714 specifically�my�family. 206 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,539 MARILLA:�Irish�boss Bugsy�O'Finnegan 207 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:29,944 grew�up�in�a�neighborhood 208 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:33,276 full�of�pimps,�prostitutes and�petty�thugs. 209 00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:37,282 If�elected,�he�promises that�your�kids�will�too. 210 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,446 And�Russian�leader, Yvgeny�Vzlomshchik 211 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:43,615 is�framing�his�campaign as�a�matter�of�public�health. 212 00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,086 (CIGARETTE�BURNING) 213 00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:49,429 It's�just�simple. You�vote�for�me, 214 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:50,762 or�I�kill�you. 215 00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:53,274 Right.�Right. 216 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,944 Oh,�you�mean�me. No,�I'm�not�eligible. 217 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,641 The�race�is�a�virtual�deadlock 218 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:05,476 with�labor�union�leaders endorsing 219 00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:06,811 all�three�candidates. 220 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:09,283 In�a�bid�to�pull�ahead, O'Finnegan�released 221 00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:10,315 an�attack�ad 222 00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:12,149 targeting�Cerignola's involvement 223 00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,154 in�a�devastating legitimacy�scandal 224 00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,486 that�threatened to�sink�his�campaign. 225 00:09:16,589 --> 00:09:19,429 O'FINNEGAN:�Joey�Cerignola says�his�dairy�concern 226 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:23,328 is�just�a�money�laundering ring�for�his�criminal�empire. 227 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:26,999 Then�why�did�Farbes�Magazine name�Cerignola�Farms 228 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:31,173 one�of�Canada's�fastest growing�companies�of�2016? 229 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:35,470 Joey�Cerignola. You�just�can�trust�him. 230 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,838 Paid�for�by�the�friend of�a�friend�of�a�friend. 231 00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,177 MARILLA:�The�election swung�dramatically 232 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,348 after�a�debate�held in�the�meat�locker 233 00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:42,847 of�a�local�butcher�shop. 234 00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:44,952 All�three�would-be bosses�attended, 235 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,194 plus�a�Green�Party�candidate who�was�just�happy 236 00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:48,449 to�be�invited. 237 00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:51,187 How�does�Mr.�Vzlomshchik plan�to�provide�his�voters 238 00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:53,493 with�the�publicly�subsidized hookers�and�blow 239 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,196 he's�promising without�raising�taxes? 240 00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:57,998 MAN:�Mr.�Vzlomshchik, your�rebuttal. 241 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,537 MARILLA:�Vzlomshchik's�strong debate�performance 242 00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:04,866 made�it�seem�certain 243 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:06,971 that�he�would�be�the�first Russian�leader 244 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:08,706 ever�to�be legitimately�elected, 245 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:12,208 but�the�Italians�eked�out a�stunning�last-second�win 246 00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:15,051 by�securing the�coveted�dead�vote. 247 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:18,381 For�his�part,�Cerignola was�gracious�in�victory. 248 00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:21,017 While�I'm�reluctant�to�accept the�title�of�mob�boss, 249 00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:23,193 as�I�have�no�idea�what you're�talking�about, 250 00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,892 I�am�honored to�welcome�this�city 251 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,031 into�our�humble family�business. 252 00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:28,659 REPORTER:�One�more�question. Mr.�Cerignola... 253 00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,034 (REPORTERS�CLAMORING) 254 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,532 While�Cerignola's election�means 255 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:34,504 Montreal�will�remain the�same�crumbling�shithole 256 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:35,573 it�already�was, 257 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,068 Montrealers�can�now�feel a�sense�of�ownership 258 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:40,714 over�who�runs this�train�wreck. 259 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,910 And�the�illusion�of�democracy is�what�Canadian�politics 260 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,243 is�all�about. 261 00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:48,084 Marilla�Wex,�The�Beaverton. 262 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:51,754 Thanks,�Marilla.�Tell�Joey I�said�hi�to�his�mother. 263 00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:55,224 A�feminist�bedding�company has�designed�a�new�pillow 264 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:57,924 specifically�for�women dealing�with�misogyny 265 00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:00,234 to�scream their�frustrations�into. 266 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,197 Called�the�Snoozan�B.�Anthony, 267 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:07,230 the�contoured�memory�foam is�shaped�to�accommodate 268 00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,936 the�face-first�drop of�an�angry�female 269 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:12,239 who�just�lost�her�promotion to�the�new�guy 270 00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:15,571 the�boss�calls�Funny�Steve. 271 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:19,108 The�Egyptian�cotton�is�perfect for�absorbing�rage�tears 272 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,775 when�called�an�ugly�road�whore 273 00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,284 for�not�smiling when�a�guy�says, 274 00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:25,752 "Why�don't�you�smile�more?" 275 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,115 The�same�company is�also�working 276 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:28,453 on�a�lavender�eye-mask, 277 00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:30,917 which�will�help�women to�un-see�dick�pics. 278 00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,291 After�the�break, our�relationship�expert 279 00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:37,133 shows�you�how�to�turn every�date�into�a�speed�date 280 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,903 with�Methamphetamines. 281 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:40,602 I�do�that. 282 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,073 You�know,�I've�never�done a�drug�in�my�life. 283 00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:43,101 -I�know. -I�think... 284 00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:44,435 EMMA:�I�already�know�that. 285 00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,545 Later�this�hour, 286 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,480 CSIS�has�released�everything it�says�you�need�to�know 287 00:11:57,516 --> 00:12:01,046 about�redacted�redacted airborne�redacted. 288 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:03,687 MIGUEL:�Scientists�have discovered�a�cure�for�baldness 289 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,223 in�eagles. 290 00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:08,387 EMMA:�And�the�nation's�uncles discover�vast�nickel�deposits 291 00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:10,834 behind�their�nephews'�ears. 292 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:14,233 Welcome�back.�We�all�know legalizing�marijuana 293 00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:17,066 is�our�generation's civil�rights�movement. 294 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,573 No. 295 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:22,071 But�as�Canada�drafts�laws, debate�rages�on�one�issue. 296 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:25,078 How�young�is too�young�to�smoke�up? 297 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,511 Our�own Donavon�Stinson�investigates. 298 00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:37,088 There's�no�way�around�it. 299 00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,923 Marijuana�will�be legal�in�Canada. 300 00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:41,434 It's�a�populist�policy�that may�have�swung�the�election 301 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,600 by�bringing�out younger�voters. 302 00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:45,899 But�how�will�the�Liberals prevent�legal�weed 303 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,771 from�reaching�those�underage? 304 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,100 I�spoke�to�Liberal�drug�czar, Buzz�Deringer 305 00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:52,606 to�find�out�how�he's�planning on�keeping�kids'�hands 306 00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:55,408 out�of�the�cookie�jar where�we�keep�our�stash. 307 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,781 So�Buzz, the�Tories�accused�you 308 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,746 of�planning�on selling�drugs�to�children. 309 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,109 Do�their�concerns hold�any�water? 310 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,418 More�like�bong�water.�(LAUGHS) 311 00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:06,954 Are�you�high�right�now? 312 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,616 Look,�we're�not�naive. 313 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,794 We�know�what our�nation's�kids�are�up�to. 314 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:11,790 That's�why�we�believe 315 00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:14,794 kids�as�young�as�14 should�be�able 316 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:16,297 to�smoke�weed, 317 00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:18,258 as�long�as it's�with�their�parents. 318 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,937 No,�but�seriously, are�you�holding? 319 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,237 DONAVON:�Jody�is�a�typical 14-year-old�from�Edmonton. 320 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,814 It's�cool. It's�rolled�a�little�tight. 321 00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:32,482 DONAVON:�His�parents�found�out about�the�proposed�law 322 00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:34,411 the�same�day�they�found their�son's�weed. 323 00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:35,606 Hey,�Jody, 324 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,278 I�ever�tell�you�about�the�time your�mom�and�I 325 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:38,476 road�tripped�to�Big�Sky? 326 00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:40,924 I�love�Big�Sky. By�the�way,�that's�where 327 00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:42,123 I�found�my�pet�lynx. 328 00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,489 We�made�love�under�the�stars. 329 00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,934 And�afterwards,�as�we�lay naked�in�our�embrace, 330 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,460 I�looked�up 331 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,295 and�I�saw�the�face�of�God. 332 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:56,967 Oh,�yeah.�Cool,�thank�you. 333 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,342 Um,�so�what�do�you�think about�this�new�policy? 334 00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:02,308 I�mean�it�is,�um... It's�pretty�dope,�right? 335 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,481 Why�don't�we�hang�out like�this�all�the�time? 336 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,948 (STAMMERING) 'Cause�we�just�met. 337 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,320 No,�I�meant�that�kid. 338 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,479 My�kid. 339 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,824 Yeah,�he...�He�left. 340 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,486 Legalizing recreational�marijuana 341 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,328 will�be�a�boon to�the�economy. 342 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,533 Ticket�sales�for�Osheaga are�up�70%. 343 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:29,836 Yeah,�reports�say that�Colorado�see 344 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,869 the�real�rebound�in the�sagging�laser�show�sector. 345 00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:36,875 Totally.�Plus,�parents can�bond�with�their�kids. 346 00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:39,379 Wait.�Isn't�the�point of�forcing�kids 347 00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:40,551 to�smoke�with�their�parents 348 00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:42,979 a�way�of�deterring teen�drug�use? 349 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:45,346 Exactly. 350 00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,722 Yeah,�but�what�is�it,�then? Are�you... 351 00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:50,564 Are�you�trying to�encourage�the�sale 352 00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:52,059 on�taxation�of�cannabis 353 00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:55,561 or�prevent�it?�Because you�can't�have�it�both�ways. 354 00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:58,564 -Can't�we? -Or�can�you? 355 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,397 We're�the�Liberal�Party,�dude. 356 00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:02,232 Being�cravenly�two-faced is�one 357 00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,504 of�the�few�things�our�platform is�pretty�clear�about. 358 00:15:05,537 --> 00:15:08,707 Trust�me.�It'll�make more�sense�after�one�more�hit. 359 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,711 Ooh. 360 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,711 We�should�go�swimming. 361 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,347 (LAUGHING) 362 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:20,417 I�had�to�hand�it�to�Buzz. 363 00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:21,692 Once�you�get�through the�legalese 364 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,020 and�those�two�verses of�"Tweezer," 365 00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,526 the�Liberal's�proposal�is a�piece�of�legislation 366 00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,728 that�we�can�all�get�behind. 367 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,061 For�the�Donavon, I'm�Beaverton. 368 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,599 Thanks,�Donavon. Uh,�me�and�Wedgie, 369 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:35,770 the�lighting�guy, will�meet�you 370 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,598 in�the�parking�lot after�the�show. 371 00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:40,714 Regardless�of�how or�when�it's�legalized, 372 00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:43,239 marijuana�will�have a�huge�impact�on�our�economy. 373 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,275 For�more�on�that,�we're�joined by�Laura�Cilevitz. 374 00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,452 Thanks,�Miguel. 375 00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:48,779 Since�legalizing�marijuana, 376 00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:50,454 Colorado�has�managed to�turn�it 377 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,452 into�a�billion-dollar industry, 378 00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:53,794 and�all�without�cannibalizing 379 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:56,619 the�state's�other billion-dollar�industry. 380 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,585 -Skiing? -Prisons. 381 00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:01,458 Specifically�prison�labor. 382 00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:03,263 Even�more�specifically, prison�labor 383 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,625 done�by�marijuana�criminals. 384 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,234 Canada�should�take�note. 385 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:09,796 But�surely,�Canada�doesn't�use prison�labor�for�profit 386 00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:11,565 the�way the�United�States�does. 387 00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:13,938 Good�one,�Miguel. 388 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,983 Canadian�prison�factories produce�a�ton 389 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,108 of�low�cost, high�value�consumer�goods 390 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,913 like�wine,�bras, and�hygiene�products. 391 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,976 Pretty�much�everything that�goes�on�or�in�our�bodies 392 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,815 has�been�touched by�convicted�felons. 393 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:27,990 I�just�love�my�Beaver�Creek Penitentiary�Brand�underwear. 394 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,660 It�provides�minimum confinement 395 00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:30,955 with�maximum�support. 396 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,488 Anyway,�without a�constant�stream 397 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:36,456 of�low�level marijuana�convictions, 398 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,655 there's�a�real�risk our�incarceration�rates 399 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,997 could�drop�from�too�high to�just�very�high. 400 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,841 And�that's�a�huge�problem�for the�hard�working�businesses 401 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:47,510 in�Canada's caged-human�industry. 402 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,436 What�makes�prison�labor appealing,�Laura? 403 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:53,606 One�word. "Low�overhead�costs." 404 00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,675 The�average�salary�of a�Canadian�prisoner 405 00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:57,324 is�just�$3�a�day. 406 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,849 They�bring�all�the�benefits of�a�foreign�sweatshop�worker 407 00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:03,355 with�none�of�the�drawbacks, like�going�home�at�night. 408 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,319 So�who's�going�to make�my�undies�now? 409 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:08,687 Oh,�there's�lots�of�ways to�cover�the�labor�shortfall. 410 00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,534 I�don't�wanna�tell the�police�how�to�recruit, 411 00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:12,662 but�I�would�suggest street�racers, 412 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:16,298 pipeline�protestors,�cyclists. 413 00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,695 The�point�is,�we'll�still�be cleaning�up�our�streets 414 00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:21,307 and�getting�quality�products at�discount�prices. 415 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,680 It's�like�shanking two�birds�with�one�stone. 416 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:27,653 Thanks,�Laura.�You�terrify�me. 417 00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:30,179 Coming�up, our�social�media�expert 418 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,875 tells�you�how�to�maintain your�personal�brand 419 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:33,987 during�a�home�invasion.�Ooh! 420 00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:35,019 -Okay. -Spooky. 421 00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:49,227 With�Canada's�150th�birthday less�than�six�months�away, 422 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,698 some�officials�are�concerned that�Canada's�history 423 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,007 doesn't�have�enough celebration-worthy�moments. 424 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,580 The�solution?�Create�a�bunch before�July�1st. 425 00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:02,247 The�busy�history-engineering schedule�begins�in�March, 426 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,581 when�Canada�will�have a�civil�war, 427 00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:07,416 heightening�historic�tensions between�Alberta 428 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,923 and�the�rest�of the�country�it�hates. 429 00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:12,255 Then�a�communist�coup will�turn�us 430 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,591 into�an�agrarian�society for�a�few�weeks, 431 00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:18,926 giving�rise�to�an�earthy�and unique�folk�music�tradition. 432 00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,771 A�government spokesperson�said, 433 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:23,599 "We�were�hoping�the�trade�deal with�the�European�Union 434 00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:25,095 "would�be�historic�enough, 435 00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:27,444 "but�people�don't�seem to�care�where�we�sell 436 00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:29,413 "our�cheese�and�wood." 437 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,241 But�Canada's�confident�we�will have�plenty�to�celebrate 438 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,577 after�building�pyramids in�the�Prairies, 439 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,423 recovering�from�a�massive plague�in�the�spring 440 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:42,419 and�becoming�the�first�nation to�allow�horses�to�vote. 441 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:45,894 2016�was�a�terrible�year for�the�United�States, 442 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,764 from�the�worst�election in�their�history 443 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,303 to�X-Men�Apocalypse. 444 00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:54,129 -I�actually�liked�it. -You�liked�Jupiter�Ascending. 445 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:58,136 But�2016�also�saw�key�allies, Turkey�and�the�Philippines, 446 00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:00,740 abandon�the�USA for�Russia�and�China. 447 00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:03,812 This�brings�us�to tonight's�Point/Counter�Point. 448 00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:06,482 Should�Canada�ditch�the�U.S. and�find�someone�else 449 00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,148 to�suck�up�to? 450 00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,120 I'll�start�by�saying�that I�don't�think�Canada 451 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,479 does�suck�up to�the�United�States. 452 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,953 Really,�Miguel?�Kowtowing on�softwood�lumber, 453 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,156 getting�dragged into�Afghanistan, 454 00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:18,418 making�this�face�every�time Canada�gets�mentioned 455 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:19,787 on�American�TV. 456 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,830 Okay,�so�even�if�we�do�have a�special�relationship 457 00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:24,962 with�the�U.S., 458 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,167 it's�made�us�one of�the�most�powerful 459 00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:27,498 and�prosperous�nations 460 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,173 in�the�mid-to-mid�upper�tier of�nations, 461 00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:32,639 like�a�super�Norway or�a�crummy�Japan. 462 00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:34,509 In�the�past,�maybe, 463 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,340 but�America's�on a�downward�spiral, 464 00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:39,181 and�we�need�to�find�someone else�to�brown�nose�pronto. 465 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:43,178 Without�powerful�allies, we're�just�cold�Australia. 466 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,145 First,�don't�ever�compare�us to�those�Vegemite�lovers. 467 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,524 -Well... -And�second,�okay,�it's�true. 468 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,820 For�all�its�faults,�the�U.S. is�the�only�great�power 469 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,356 that�even�pays�lip�service to�freedom�and�democracy. 470 00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,532 I�know.�It's�what makes�them�so�insufferable. 471 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:56,857 They're�always�saying, 472 00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,032 "Hold�fair and�open�elections, 473 00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,300 "free�trade�benefits. 474 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,201 "Everyone,�don't invade�Greenland." 475 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:02,873 Greenland�should�be ours,�Miguel, 476 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,198 and�everyone watching�knows�it! 477 00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:08,214 If�we�cut�loose�from�America, we'll�be�at�the�mercy 478 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,040 of�countries�that�feel that�way�about�us. 479 00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,882 Unless�we�find�some bigger�boots�to�lick. 480 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,148 Do�you�think�the�Russians would�care 481 00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:16,009 if�we�invaded�someone?�No! 482 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,048 They'd�say, "Go�ahead.�Take�it." 483 00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:20,494 Unless�they�wanted to�invade�it�first, 484 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,519 which�would�be totally�cool�with�us. 485 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,194 This�is�exactly�the�kind of�war�mongering 486 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,993 that�U.S.�power�helps�curtail. 487 00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:27,734 Yeah,�and�what�has that�gotten�us? 488 00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:29,389 Certainly�not�Greenland! 489 00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:31,234 But�if�it's�not gonna�be�Russia, 490 00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:32,903 who�would�you�like�us to�suck�up�to? 491 00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:34,728 -China? -Even�worse. 492 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:36,743 So�what?�You�think�we shouldn't�suck�up�to�anybody? 493 00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,568 Well,�obviously�not.�I�mean, you�gotta�kiss�somebody's�ass. 494 00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:42,835 Yeah,�it's�basically�our whole�national�identity. 495 00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:45,184 Well,�I'm�really�glad that�we�found some�common�ground 496 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,580 once�this�year. 497 00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:47,912 Yeah. 498 00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:50,216 And�with�that�we've�reached the�end�of�our�broadcast 499 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,889 and,�more�significantly, the�end�of�the�news. 500 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,059 We'll�see�you�again�as�soon�as something,�anything,�happens. 501 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,564 That's�really�interesting that�you�would�say 502 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,762 the�news�is�over because�that's�absurd. 503 00:21:03,795 --> 00:21:05,095 Well,�it�is. 504 00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:06,570 But�that�doesn't�make a�shred�of�sense. 43746

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