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1
00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:05,439
Hydro�One�unveils�a�new�plan
to�reduce�energy�costs,
2
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:08,712
heating�your�home
by�burning�overdue�bills.
3
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:11,082
EMMA:��The�SpaceX�program
is�looking�for�people
4
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,581
willing�to�die�on�Mars.
5
00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:15,682
And�people
willing�to�kill�on�Mars.
6
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:17,015
MIGUEL:��And�we'll�meet�the�Jew
7
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,650
who�is�trying�to�take�the�fun
out�of�Christmas.
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,686
(THEME�MUSIC�PLAYING)
9
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,570
Welcome�to��The�Beaverton,
10
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:38,102
Canada's�most�actionable
source�of�news.
11
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:40,708
I'm�two-time�defendant,
Emma�Hunter.
12
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,980
And�I'm�two-time�plaintiff,
Miguel�Rivas.
13
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,907
The�Liberal�government
is�promising
14
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,245
a�new�anti-transphobia�bill
15
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,420
that�aims�to�stop
discrimination
16
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,619
against�the
Trans-Pacific�Partnership.
17
00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:54,651
Minister�of�International
Trade,�Chrystia�Freeland�said,
18
00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:57,317
(READING)
19
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,232
"...to�overturn�policies
they�don't�agree�with.
20
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,601
"This�legislation
will�classify
21
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,929
"that�kind�of�criticism
as�hate�speech."
22
00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:06,334
The�bill�will�also�allow
23
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:07,866
safe�access�to
the�nation's�washrooms,
24
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,501
where�international
conglomerates
25
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:12,036
can�shit�all�over
Canadian�environmental�laws.
26
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,566
In�Colombia,
27
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,837
decades�of�armed�conflict
came�to�an�end�this�fall,
28
00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:19,276
when�the�last�52�years
of�guerrilla�warfare
29
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:22,582
was�revealed�to�be
a�viral-marketing�campaign
30
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:24,175
for�the�new��King�Kong�sequel.
31
00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:27,318
Warner�Brothers�Pictures
apologized
32
00:01:27,353 --> 00:01:28,423
for�the�protracted�violence,
33
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,715
admitting�the�elaborate
promotional�stunt
34
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,727
may�have�got�away�from�them.
35
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,259
According�to�a�press�release,
36
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:37,534
(READING)
37
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:40,534
"...in�hindsight,�having�FARC
guerrillas�dress�as�apes
38
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,267
"while�perpetrating
narco-terrorism
39
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,842
"was�a�poor�choice.
40
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:47,441
"But�still,�it's�gonna�be
a�great�movie."
41
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,844
In�related�news,
42
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,735
a�series�of�disappointing
and�hard-to-follow�explosions
43
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,708
are�said�to�be
a�viral�campaign
44
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:55,616
for�the�next
Transformers�movie.
45
00:01:57,183 --> 00:02:00,723
WikiLeaks,�the�TMZ�of
international�whistleblowers,
46
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:03,023
has�released
a�damning�series�of�documents,
47
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,856
this�time,�exposing
Russian�leader�Vladimir�Putin.
48
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,692
According�to
the�embarrassing�cables,
49
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:10,797
Putin�is�a�strong�man
with�a�virile�sexuality,
50
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,270
who�has�bedded�a�large�number
of�willing�females.
51
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,499
The�leaks�also�revealed
his�charitable�donations,
52
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:16,995
valued�in�the�billions,
53
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:18,806
and�his�workout�regime,
which�includes
54
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,938
1,000�push-ups
before�breakfast.
55
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,408
In�a�statement,
56
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,083
Wikileaks�founder,
Julian�Assange�said,
57
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:27,911
(READING)
58
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,016
"our�integrity�in�the�name
of�a�state�sponsor
59
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,321
"with�a�very�large�penis."
60
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,121
For�decades,
the�Indian�Act�has�presented
61
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,057
one�of�the�most�complex
problems�in�Canadian�politics.
62
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,003
A�piece�of�racial�legislation
originally�meant�to�destroy
63
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:44,599
the�independence
and�cultural�identity
64
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,271
of�First�Nations�peoples,
65
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,969
it�is�also�one�of
the�few�documents�that
66
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,442
enshrines�traditional�rights.
67
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:53,170
Luckily,�as�with�all�other
indigenous�issues,
68
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:55,506
the�Trudeau�government
has�come�along
69
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,242
and�fixed�the�entire�thing.
70
00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:00,077
Our�own�Marilla�Wex�reports.
71
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,123
In�a�deft�political�stroke,
the�Trudeau�government
72
00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:05,619
has�found�a�way
to�keep�the�Indian�Act
73
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:08,022
while�also�maintaining
Canada's�credentials
74
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,424
as�a�nation
with�racial�equality.
75
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:12,526
They've�developed
a�piece�of�legislation
76
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,059
like�the�Indian�Act,
77
00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:17,563
for�every�single�other
race�and�ethnicity.
78
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:18,897
Since�taking�office,
79
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,632
the�government
has�created�statutes
80
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:24,097
like�the�Crafty�Jew�Act,
the�Fiery�Latino�Act,
81
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,367
and�the�(WHISPERING)
Black�People�Act.
82
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,806
I'm�not�just�saying�it
like�that,
83
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,280
that�is�the�official�name
of�the�document.
84
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,910
Everybody�in�Canada�is�equal,
85
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,205
regardless�of�whether
the�government
86
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:34,346
took�your�children�from�you,
87
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,980
or�gave�your�land
to�a�mining�consortium.
88
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,446
As�a�Jewish�person,
89
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:42,094
what�can�I�expect
from�the�Crafty�Jew�Act?
90
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:43,961
Well,�like�with
the�Indian�Act,
91
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:47,460
your�name�will�be�put�on
a�list�of�other�Jews�and...
92
00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:48,963
That's�the�legal�term...
93
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:52,065
And�you'll�be�issued�a�card
identifying�you�as�a�Jew.
94
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:55,368
I�suspect�that�will�make
most�Jewish�people
95
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,801
extremely�uncomfortable.
96
00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:01,437
Uh,�yeah,�I�guess.
97
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:04,084
Like�in�the�Indian�Act,
everyone�will�now�be�granted
98
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,750
access�to�designated
social�services
99
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:08,919
based�on
whether�or�not�they�qualify
100
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,648
for�so-called�"status."
101
00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:12,253
To�explain�how�it�works,
102
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,485
the�government
produced�this�video.
103
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,360
PHIL�PAULSON:�Not�so�fast
104
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,291
with�that�delectable
gabagool,�Vinny.
105
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,456
Did�you�know
you�might�not�be�Italian?
106
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,325
Of�course�I�am.
Who�the�fuck�are�you?
107
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,504
PHIL:��Actually,�Vinny,
even�though�you,
108
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:28,032
your�parents,
and�your�grandparents
109
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,267
were�all�raised�Italian,
110
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:31,542
one�of�your�great-grandparents
was�Dutch,
111
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,871
and�two�of�them�were�born
on�the�French�border.
112
00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:36,206
-So?
-So,�like�the�Indian�Act,
113
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:37,912
the�Stinkin'�Italian�Act�says
114
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,454
that�you�can't�have
Italian�status
115
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,779
unless�you�have
one�full�Italian�parent,
116
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:44,454
or�two�halfsies.
So�legally,�you're�nothing.
117
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:47,654
Then�in�a�few�generations,
nobody's�gonna�be�Italian?
118
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,117
Exactly.�And�once�nobody
is�legally�Italian,
119
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:52,386
Little�Italy�will�revert
to�the�government,
120
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:54,385
and�we�can�finally
sell�the�land�it's�built�on
121
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,797
to�a�natural�gas�company.
122
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:57,728
-(SPEAKING�ITALIAN)
-(LAUGHS)
123
00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,134
Careful.�Now,
if�you're�not�Italian,
124
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,396
then�what�right�do�you
have�to�be�Catholic?
125
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:07,574
This�new�policy
is�not�without�its�problems.
126
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,907
Canada's�white�people
have�begun�protesting,
127
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:13,652
after�somehow�getting�the�idea
that�it�uses�taxpayer�money
128
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,080
to�buy�every�ethnic�minority
free�cigarettes.
129
00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:20,046
For��The�Beaverton,
I'm�Marilla�Wex.
130
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:22,216
Thanks,�Marilla.
You�remain,�as�ever,
131
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:25,185
our�most
British�correspondent.
132
00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:27,264
The�state�of�Texas
says�that�a�new�law
133
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,503
allowing�teachers�to
carry�guns�at�school
134
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,629
has�resulted�in
a�1000%�increase
135
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,074
in�completed
homework�assignments.
136
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,070
The�so-called
"campus�carry"�bill
137
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,242
was�enacted�last�August,
138
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,010
in�a�bid�to�increase
school�safety
139
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:41,738
at�the�behest�of�the�state's
most�concerned�parent�group,
140
00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:43,244
the�NRA.
141
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,206
While�the�presence
of�armed�educators
142
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:47,184
has�not�decreased
school-related�violence,
143
00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:49,723
it�has�resulted
in�an�unprecedented�increase
144
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,649
in�teachers�who�feel
like�a�big�man.
145
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,919
After�the�break...
146
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:57,824
He�knows�when�you�are�naughty,
he�knows�when�you�are�nice.
147
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,157
Is�Santa�Claus
data�mining�you?
148
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,471
WOMAN:��The�morning�after
your�birth�control�fails,
149
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,170
you're�probably
feeling�like�you're�all�alone.
150
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,073
But�guess�what?�You're�not.
151
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,235
In�fact,�chances�are�that
several�women�just�like�you
152
00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:17,214
are�at�your�local�pharmacy
right�now,
153
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:19,253
buying�up�all�the�plan�B�pills
154
00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:21,048
before�you�can�get
your�hands�on�them.
155
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,520
The�pharmacy�will�order�more,
156
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,778
but�who�knows�how�long
that'll�take?
157
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:28,117
In�the�meantime,
there's�Plan�C.
158
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:31,464
Plan�C�is�an�all-natural
birth�control�alternative
159
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:34,191
that�takes
your�newly-fertilized�embryo,
160
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,897
and�gently�places�it
onto�the�wait�list
161
00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:39,699
of�those�impossible-to
-get-into�day�cares.
162
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,672
In�the�event�that
you're�unable�to�prevent
163
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,271
your�pregnancy�from�occurring,
164
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,742
Plan�C�reduces�your�chances
of�having�to�quit�your�job,
165
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,712
or�hire�a�nanny,
by�as�much�as�5%.
166
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,041
Wait,�5%?�That's�it?
167
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,547
WOMAN:
Side�effects�include�poverty,
168
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,748
unlicensed�facilities,
and�in�some�cases,�diddlers.
169
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,652
You�know�what,�I'll�just�go
to�another�pharmacy.
170
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:00,894
-(BABY�CRYING)
-WOMAN:��Good�call,�sister.
171
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,990
(READING)
172
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,940
Coming�up�later,
173
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:19,268
Marineland�announces�plans
to�stay�open�all�year.
174
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,008
EMMA:�Home�Alone
tops�IMDb's�list�as
175
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:26,683
the�best�holiday�snuff�film.
176
00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:29,852
MIGUEL:��And�a�Vancouver�driver
who�left�his�BMW�at�home
177
00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:32,422
was�forced�to�kill�a�cyclist
with�his�bare�hands.
178
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:38,363
Disaster�in�Australia�today.
Reports�show�that�93%
179
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,091
of�the�Great�Barrier�Reef
is�dying,
180
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,696
leading�many�experts
to�wonder�how�long�do�we�have
181
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:45,928
before�Australians�escape
their�island�prison?
182
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,765
While�the�plan�of�marooning
British�criminals�on�an�island
183
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,241
surrounded�by
an�impassable�reef
184
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:51,369
was�good�in�theory,
185
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,314
in�practice,
it's�been�a�disaster.
186
00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:55,409
After�spending
generations�contending
187
00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:58,281
with�dangerous�snakes,
spiders,�and�Russell�Crowes,
188
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,711
Australians�have�evolved
into�the�deadly�species
189
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:03,416
we�make-out�with
only�on�vacation.
190
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:05,819
Experts�worry,�if�one�of�these
weapons-grade�drunks
191
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,122
were�to�cross�the�Pacific,
192
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,193
it�could�wipe�Winnipeg
off�the�map.
193
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:14,290
Millennials�face�record�levels
of�debt�and�unemployment.
194
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,697
But�is�there�hope
for�this�lost�generation?
195
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,229
We�go�now�to�Rick�Roberts,
196
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:20,174
the�man�who�has�been
our�youth�correspondent
197
00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:22,799
for�three�decades.
198
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,735
RICK:��Millennials.�How�did
they�screw�it�up�so�badly?
199
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:29,241
I'm�here�to�show�this
generation�how�to�grow�up.
200
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:34,045
And�I'm�going�to�do�it
by�becoming�one�of�them.
201
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,420
Step�one,�get�a�good�education
to�stand�out�from�the�crowd.
202
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,220
Yo.�Hello.�Is�this�Harvard?
203
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,523
I�would�like�to�register
for�your�business�school.
204
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,286
I�have,�uh,�three�quarters
of�a�high�school�diploma.
205
00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:50,525
Where�do�I�mail
my�$200�tuition?�Hello?
206
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,433
RICK:��On�second�thought,
millennials�are�over-educated.
207
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,965
Stop�hiding
in�your�ivory�tower.
208
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,570
Get�your�hands�dirty.
209
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,242
A�factory�job�helped�me
make�something�of�myself.
210
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,010
Okay,�what�happened
to�the�factory�here?
211
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,952
Outsourcing.
And�latte�macchiatos.
212
00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:10,875
That�was�a�setback.
213
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,351
But�unlike�a�millennial,
214
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,986
I�haven't�had�it�easy
my�whole�life,
215
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,761
so�I�wasn't�going�to�give�up.
216
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:22,727
Remember,�you're�not
too�good�for�any�job,
217
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,432
just�because�you�were
raised�to�think
218
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:26,003
that�you're�a�special,
little�snowflake.
219
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,641
I�want�to�settle�for�this�job.
220
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:33,240
I'm�not�taking�no
for�an�answer.
221
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:34,812
I�can't�hire�you.
222
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,540
You�don't�know
anything�about�coffee.
223
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,876
Sure�I�do.
224
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,750
It's�free,�and�my�secretary
brings�it�to�me.
225
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:40,949
RICK:��Things�were�looking�bad,
226
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,780
but�as�I�always�tell
young�people
227
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:44,375
who�I�assume�want�me
to�give�them�advice,
228
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,117
the�most�important�thing
is�to�network.
229
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:50,623
Hey.�Hey,�Dave.
(LAUGHS�NERVOUSLY)
230
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,116
You�old�bastard.
231
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,528
Look,�do�you�still�own
that�coffee�kiosk
232
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:55,760
in�the�old�auto�factory?
233
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,425
So�what's�the�starting
salary�here?
234
00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:58,903
Well,�my�boss�said
I�had�to�hire�you.
235
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,171
Mmm-hmm.
236
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,699
But�there's�no�more
room�on�the�payroll,
237
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,674
so�welcome�to�the�world's
first�coffee-shop�internship.
238
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:07,414
So�what,�like,�50,000�a�year?
239
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,180
God.�At�that�rate,
it's�gonna�take�me,
240
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:11,739
at�least�six�months
to�be�able�to�buy�a�house.
241
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,177
Uh,�it's�unpaid.
242
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,246
RICK:��I�was�outraged
243
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,081
that�millennials
had�created�a�system
244
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,086
where�you�have�to�work
for�no�money.
245
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,848
But�there�was�an�upside.
246
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:24,186
Part�of�growing�up
is�finding�a�nice�girl
247
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:25,523
and�settling�down.
248
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,588
Let's�quit�this�dead-end�job.
Let's�get�a�Winnebago.
249
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,297
Let's�discover�America.
250
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:31,128
I�have�a�mountain
of�student�debt.
251
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,503
-So?
-Gas�costs�a�fortune,
252
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:35,702
and�you're�old�enough
to�be�my...
253
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,635
Well,�you're�old�enough
to�be�dead.
254
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,306
Clearly...
255
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,081
RICK:��Clearly,
dating�had�changed.
256
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,510
I�was�going�to�have�to
update�my�strategy.
257
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,484
Maybe�there�were�some�things
258
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:50,715
that�millennials
were�getting�right.
259
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,180
(SIGHING)
260
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,788
Okay,�forget�about�that�thing
with�the�Winnebago.
261
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:58,020
How�about�you�and�I,
we�just�tinder?
262
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,857
Why�does�the�same�thing
literally�happen
263
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:01,162
every�place�I�work?
264
00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:02,633
RICK:��A�paid�position
at�the�coffee�shop
265
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,832
had�finally�opened�up.
266
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,701
Well,�that�was
an�inspiring�journey,
267
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,573
going�from
an�unemployed�20-something
268
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,102
to�VP�of�my�very�own
coffee�chain.
269
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,008
And�I�most�def
learned�something
270
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,610
during�my�time
as�a�millennial.
271
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,641
Never�to�retire.
Man,�it�is�hard�out�there!
272
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,978
And�if�I�cycle�out
of�the�workforce,
273
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,753
who's�going�to�support
my�unemployed�millennial�son?
274
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:27,253
For��The�Beaverton,
I'm�Rick�Roberts.�Yo!
275
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:32,490
Thanks,�Rick.
276
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,825
It's�so�refreshing
to�see�a�baby�boomer
277
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,929
with�the�courage
to�call�out�millennials.
278
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,960
To�Ottawa�now,
279
00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:40,998
where�things�have�gotten�tense
at�the�local�farmer's�market,
280
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,543
as�every�single�vendor
281
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:45,268
has�decided�to�run
to�be�leader�of�the�NDP.
282
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:47,074
Sources�say,�Patricia�Bernier,
283
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:49,536
proprietor�of�Produce�Pat
vegetable�stand,
284
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:50,975
jumped�to�an�early�lead
285
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:54,010
after�she�gave�an�effective
campaign�speech/slam-poem.
286
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,446
But�that�evaporated�when
artisanal�sausage-maker,
287
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:58,822
Ron�Pritchett,
threw�his�hat�into�the�ring.
288
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,651
Polls�showed�the�two
running�neck-and-neck,
289
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:03,216
with�Patricia�being�endorsed
by�the�vegan�bakers�union,
290
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:05,785
and�Ron�dominating
amongst�militant�cyclists
291
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,325
and�dads�whose�kids
just�want�to�go�home.
292
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,600
However,�the�race
was�thrown�into�chaos
293
00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:12,129
when�every�other
market�vendor,
294
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:15,034
including�Jan�the�Jam-maker,
Big�Cheese�Steve,
295
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,197
and�that�lady�who�makes
ornate,�wooden�birdcages,
296
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,406
also�declared.
297
00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:22,038
Coming�up�after�the�break,
meet�the�dad�who�doesn't�know
298
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,484
what�to�get�his�weird�son
for�Christmas.
299
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,405
You�know,
I�was�the�weird�son.
300
00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:28,476
EMMA:�I�know.
301
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,356
Later�this�hour,
302
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:40,591
home�for�the�holidays,
303
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,926
the�nation's�students
are�shocked�to�discover
304
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:44,862
their�parents�have
turned�their�bedrooms
305
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:47,027
into�a�sex�dungeon.
306
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,666
MIGUEL:��Celebrities
are�running�out�of�time
307
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:52,371
to�make�this�year's�star
studded�"In�Memoriam"�reel.
308
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,344
EMMA:
And�we'll�show�you�ten�ways
309
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:55,983
to�get�riled�up�about�GMOs,
310
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:59,148
even�though�you�don't�really
know�what�they�are.
311
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,178
The�holidays�are�just
around�the�corner,
312
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:02,783
and�that�means�navigating
313
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,775
the�social�minefield
of�gift-giving
314
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:07,017
without�setting�off
certain�co-workers.
315
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:08,592
Why�would�you�ever�think
I'd�want�a�donation
316
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,991
made�in�my�name
to�the�Jared�Fogle�Foundation?
317
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:14,164
Luckily,�our�festive
financial�expert,
318
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:17,233
Laura�Cilevitz,
is�here�to�help�out.
319
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:19,803
-Hi,�Laura.
-Thanks�for�having�me,�Emma.
320
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,466
Miguel.
321
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:25,635
We�all�have�someone
on�our�gift�list
322
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:27,241
who's�difficult�to�shop�for.
323
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,383
But�for�those
in�the�lobbying�industry,
324
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:31,978
the�real�question�is,
what�do�you�get
325
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,951
to�buy�off
the�Member�of�Parliament
326
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,479
who�has�everything?
327
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,254
I�ask�myself�that�question
every�election�cycle.
328
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:40,794
No,�hold�on�a�second.
Aren't�MPs�bound
329
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,460
by�strict�regulations�on
conflicts�of�interest?
330
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,829
I�know,
it�drives�me�crazy�too.
331
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:47,128
But,�the�good�news�is,
332
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,429
MPs�only�have�to
publicly�disclose�gifts
333
00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:50,931
of�$500�or�more.
334
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,403
So�thankfully,
no�public�watchdog
335
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:56,172
will�bat�an�eye
at�this�festive�gift�basket
336
00:13:56,202 --> 00:14:01,072
with�a�jar�of�apple�butter
and�a�novelty�check�for�$492.
337
00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:03,806
You�think�you�can�buy
influence�with�apple�butter?
338
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,343
Of�course�not.�(SCOFFS)
339
00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:06,477
Luckily,�that's�why
they�invented
340
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,482
-season�tickets�to�the�Leafs.
-EMMA:�Oh.
341
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,124
Those�are
thousands�of�dollars.
342
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,519
I�know!�Such�a�bargain.
343
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:15,491
Fortunately,�parliamentary
ethics�only�cover
344
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,221
politicians�and�their
immediate�families.
345
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:19,886
So,�an�innocuous
$15,000�present
346
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:22,625
to�your�MP's�best�friend,
and�whichever�politician
347
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,361
they�want�to�take
to�the�hockey�game,
348
00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:26,066
won't�raise�any�eyebrows.
349
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:27,868
Finally,
news�you�can�actually�use.
350
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,900
No.�This�is�completely�wrong.
351
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:32,135
Actually,�Miguel�brings�up
a�great�point.
352
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:34,871
What�do�you�get�for�the�MP
who�refuses�to�be�bought?
353
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,937
That�is�not�my�point.
354
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,806
The�gift�that�keeps�on�giving,
355
00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:41,484
clandestine�photographs
of�their�lurid�affairs!
356
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,721
Of�course.�Thanks,�Laura.
357
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:48,521
From�round�bouncing�balls,
to�oval�throwing�balls,
358
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,864
to�disk-shaped�balls
that�fly�at�your�face,
359
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,260
it's�time�for�an�update
from�the�boys
360
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:53,831
at�the�Beaverton
Sports�Network.
361
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,097
Evening,�and�welcome�to
the�BSN�update.
362
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:01,732
He's�Pat,�I'm�Luke,
and�neither�of�us
363
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,267
have�read�a�book
in�the�last�decade.
364
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:06,642
Let's�get�into�it.�Quebec�City
tries�to�attract�NHL�expansion
365
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,512
with�a�new,
slutty�arena�design.
366
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:10,410
The�New�York�Mets�are
lobbying�the�Hall�of�Fame
367
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:11,882
to�end�the�snub
and�finally�elect
368
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,511
the�MVP�of�their
'86�World�Series,
369
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,175
a�giant�bag�of�cocaine.
370
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:16,924
And�in�Major�League
Soccer's�latest�attempt
371
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,879
to�reach�white
American�football�fans,
372
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,348
every�team�will�be�renamed
373
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,816
after�a�region-specific
ethnic�slur.
374
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,455
BSN�is�proud
to�bring�you�coverage
375
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,960
of�the�2017�season-opener,
376
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,861
as�the�LA�Anchor�Babies
take�on
377
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,233
the�Salt�Lake�Sister�Fuckers.
378
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,631
A�classic�in�the�making.
379
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,973
But�first,�the�World
Junior�Hockey�championships,
380
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:34,528
Canada's�favorite
time�of�the�year
381
00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:36,836
to�dissect�the�physical
and�emotional�deficiencies
382
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,439
of�a�group�of�teenagers.
383
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,640
Joining�us�live�via�satellite
to�discuss�how�our�boys
384
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,273
can�make�the�most
of�the�upcoming�mini-camp,
385
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:43,538
is�former�Junior�team�star
386
00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:45,835
and�current�gas-station
attendant,�Perry�Upton.
387
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,908
-Thanks�for�coming,�Perry.
-Thanks�for�having�me.
388
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,417
Hey,�so,�Perry,
what�chance�do�you�think
389
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,778
our�boys�have�this�year
to�come�away�with�the�gold?
390
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,517
Well,�most�experts�have�us
as�the�favorites,
391
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,452
but�if�you�ask�me,
they�won't�even�medal.
392
00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:56,957
Are�we�losing�ground
in�the�talent�pool
393
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,159
to�the�Americans?
394
00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:00,360
Are�we�not�as�dedicated
to�systems�as�the�Finns?
395
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:02,262
(SCOFFS)�No.�Our�dominance
at�the�World�Juniors
396
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,964
ended�almost�a�decade�ago,
when�Junior�Hockey
397
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,926
started�cracking�down
on�hazing.
398
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,925
It's�true,�Canada�has�only
come�home�with�the�gold�once
399
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,497
in�the�last�seven�years.
400
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,735
Yeah,�man,�back�when
we�dominated�in�the�'90s,
401
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,510
our�rookies�were�able
to�compete�in�the�trenches
402
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,309
because�we�forced�them
into�naked�fight�clubs
403
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:16,581
in�coach�bus�washrooms.
404
00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:18,008
Now,�that's�a�good�point.
405
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,653
I�mean,�how�can�you�improve
your�shooting�accuracy
406
00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:21,708
if�you�don't�tie�a�bucket
to�each�other's�genitals
407
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,947
then�take�slapshots
into�that�bucket?
408
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,423
Exactly.�And�believe�me,
I�know�from�experience
409
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:30,163
how�far�a�ritualistic
circle�jerk�will�go
410
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,289
towards�bringing�home
the�gold.
411
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,894
Okay,�now,
what's�the�benefit�of�that?
412
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,526
Team�unity?�Trust?
413
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,731
No�man,�you�just�get
to�have�a�circle�jerk.
414
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,934
Well,�I�guess
the�main�point�here�is,
415
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:42,366
we�wish�our�boys�well.
416
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:43,671
Bring�home�the�gold
and�maybe�you'll�get�girls
417
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,002
to�touch�your�junk�too.
418
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:46,867
Uh,�no�girls
in�the�circle�jerk.
419
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:51,514
The�NFL�is�cracking�down
on�domestic�violence.
420
00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:53,353
The�league's�new
personal�conduct�policy
421
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:54,779
gives�a�season-long�suspension
422
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:56,553
to�any�player
who�commits�an�assault,
423
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,082
as�long�as�they�are
not�actually�important
424
00:16:58,117 --> 00:16:59,447
to�their�team's�success.
425
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,915
The�Competition�Committee
has�outlined
426
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:04,193
stringent�benchmarks�necessary
to�stay�on�the�53-man�roster.
427
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,093
For�instance,�if�a�running
back�hits�his�wife,
428
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,885
he�must�be�coming�off�at�least
1,000-yard�season.
429
00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:10,227
It's�a�clear�message
to�players�that,
430
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:11,632
if�they're�going�to�be
involved�in�abhorrent
431
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:12,833
off-field�incidents,
432
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,495
they�better�make�sure
to�make�the�Pro�Bowl.
433
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,543
The�league�will�no�longer
tolerate�this�kind�of�behavior
434
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:18,838
from�anyone�who�isn't
a�Super�Bowl�winning�QB.
435
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,671
But�God�help�him�if�he
smokes�a�little�marijuana
436
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,066
during�the�off�season.
437
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,137
That's�a�great�point,�Pat.
You're�doing�a�fantastic�job.
438
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:25,676
That's�what�your�Mom
said�last�night.
439
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,811
I�know.�She�gives�me�notes
on�all�our�broadcasts.
440
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:29,106
Well,�that's�about
all�the�time�we�have
441
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,548
for�this�BSN�update.
442
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,922
Tune�in�to�Sportsdesk�at�11:00
for�full�coverage�of�Qatar
443
00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:35,351
being�awarded
the�2026�Winter�Olympics.
444
00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:51,338
Turning�to�health�care,
445
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:52,970
more�Canadians�than�ever
are�being�diagnosed
446
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,335
with�mental�illness.
447
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,783
Yet,�funding�for�care
continues�to�plummet.
448
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,509
Joining�us�live�via�satellite
to�discuss�how�Health�Canada
449
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,475
plans�to�address
this�mounting�problem
450
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:03,783
is�healthcare�consultant,
James�Lillian.
451
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,446
Thanks�for�having�me.
452
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,154
Does�the�government
have�a�plan�to�address
453
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:09,456
the�mental�health-care�crisis
in�our�country,�James?
454
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:12,718
Absolutely.�Our�new�program
is�going�to�dramatically�lower
455
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,558
rates�of�mental�illness
in�Canada,
456
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:17,133
by�reclassifying
a�number�of�conditions�as
457
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,802
"delightful�eccentricities."
458
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:22,302
Does�that�mean
they�won't�get�treatment?
459
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,874
They�won't�need�treatment.
460
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,902
Under�the�new
diagnostic�guidelines,
461
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,538
sufferers�of�chronic�anxiety
462
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:30,383
will�now�be�considered
"worrywarts."
463
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:33,209
Obsessive-compulsives
will�be�"Tidy�Terrys,"
464
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:35,175
and�those�suffering�from
what�used�to�be�called
465
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,854
clinical�depression,
will�now�just�be�dealing�with
466
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,553
"a�prolonged�case
of�the�Mondays."
467
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,386
Isn't�this�just�a�form
of�diagnostic�whitewashing?
468
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:45,962
Look,�are�we�cynically
using�semantics
469
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:48,431
to�shirk
our�responsibilities?�Sure.
470
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,600
Are�we�walking�away
from�people�who�need�us?
471
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,999
Absolutely.
472
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,670
How�much�money
is�this�going�to�save�us?
473
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,199
Tons.
474
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:57,044
Doesn't�our�medical
community�have�a�duty
475
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,599
to�treat�all�Canadians?
476
00:18:58,637 --> 00:18:59,807
But�don't�you�see?
477
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:01,868
Having�fewer�patients
will�allow�facilities
478
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,107
to�better�allocate
their�existing�resources
479
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,613
without�having
to�spend�a�dime.
480
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,384
That's�the�entire�purpose
of�single-payer�health�care.
481
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,253
But�what�about�the�people
who�get�turned�away?
482
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,482
Won't�we�have�more�people
slipping�through�the�cracks?
483
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,488
Sure,�uh,�but�it's�best�to
think�of�these�crack-slippers
484
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:19,631
as�the�quirky�aunts,
complex�artists,�free�spirits,
485
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,358
and�mathematical�geniuses
486
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:24,463
that�make�life�so
unpredictably�whimsical.
487
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,426
So,�if�you�see�one
on�the�street,
488
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:29,295
and�you�will�see�them
on�the�street,
489
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,344
-make�sure�you�say�"hi."
-Or�maybe�lend�a�helping�hand?
490
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:33,811
Whatever�floats�your�boat.
491
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,069
They're�your�problem
now,�society!
492
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,438
Thanks,�James.
493
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:39,206
It's�great�to�know
someone's�doing�their�part,
494
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:41,184
even�if�that�person
is�not�you.
495
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:43,377
Before�we�leave�tonight,
496
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:46,075
we'd�like�to�pay�tribute
to�one�of�our�crew�members.
497
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:49,018
Today�is�the�last�day
for�one�of�our�cameramen,
498
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:50,764
who�I�am�very�close�to.
499
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,719
We're�very�close�to.
500
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,788
Oh,�I�didn't�know
you�guys�were�tight?
501
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,756
Oh,�yeah.�Yeah.
Whoever�picks�up�camera�three
502
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:58,555
is�gonna�have
big�shoes�to�fill.
503
00:19:58,597 --> 00:19:59,927
It's�camera�two.
504
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,325
Yep...�Yep...
505
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,566
The�point�is�that
I'm�very�close
506
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,741
with�the�retiring�camera�man.
507
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,239
So...�It's�not�a�big�deal.
508
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:08,140
Okay,�then,�maybe�you'd�like
to�send�him�off,�Miguel.
509
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,175
Sure.�Yeah,�of�course.
510
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,011
On�behalf�of�the�staff
here�at��The�Beaverton,
511
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,876
I'd�like
to�personally�thank...
512
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:17,884
The�man�of�the�hour,�um...
513
00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:19,446
He�always�shows�up
to�work�fully-clothed.
514
00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:20,654
Yes.
515
00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:24,716
He's�a�big�fan�of�lunch.
And�his�name�is...
516
00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:27,186
-Is...
-Gravid...
517
00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:30,533
-His�name�is�Owen.
-Owen!�Owen.
518
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:31,702
You�don't�know�a�single
crew-member's�name,
519
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:32,830
do�you,�Miguel?
520
00:20:32,864 --> 00:20:34,104
Well,�I'm�sorry
521
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:35,402
the�one�crew�member
you�know�is�leaving.
522
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:37,874
I'd�also�like�to�thank
the�rest�of�the�crew.
523
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,343
Henry,�I'm�thinking�about�you.
524
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:42,811
Sadie,�um,
Jo-Jo�with�the�makeup,
525
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,481
we�look�amazing
because�of�you.
526
00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:45,909
Naira,�thank�you.
527
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:49,314
Deanne,�you're�40,
that's�crazy.
528
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,078
The�Bear,�with�the�pipes!
And�Tiny�Eliot.
529
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:53,347
Honestly,�I�love
you�guys�so�much...
530
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:54,785
Yeah,�me�too!
531
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,590
Well,�maybe�not�love,�because
that�would�be�inappropriate.
532
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:57,862
Good�night,�everyone!
533
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:00,987
(INAUDIBLE)
45984