All language subtitles for The Real L Word - 02x03 - Back To Square One.FQM.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

Previously on The Real L Word...

I think I need a drink.

I noticed that
Rachel and Romi were flirting,

and my initial thought
was, "What's going on?"

You just kissed her.
Like, how easy you did that.

Do you want a threesome?

Babe...Babe...Romi!

My behavior was out of control.

How did I get home last night?

I just looked at myself
and said, "You are done.

I can't do this anymore."

Kelsey needs more sex.
She needs me being affectionate.

I'm 23.
I need sex.

Cheers to us
getting along from now on.

We get to the bar,
and Claire's being very warm

and affectionate.

Felt great.

- I miss you.
- Miss you too.

You came here to work things out,

and I believe it,

and then as soon as
you walk in the door,

you're calling up
some other chick

telling her
that you love her too.

Both of you know what I'm doing.

I don't need to wait around
for an asshole like you

that makes me feel like shit
about myself all the time.

No, Marissa just texted me
and said her flight landed.

Riss!
What's up, mama?

Marissa's one of my
straight friends from college.

She's coming to town
to see L.A. lesbians

and helping me size 'em up.

I met someone out here.
Her name is Chanel.

You're in lust already?

Yeah, it's like crazy lust,
though.

It's like, "I like you."
"I like you too!"

"Okay! Well, wanna be
my girlfriend?"

Let's just not put all
our eggs into this one basket.

Can you think of anybody else
you'd wanna ask?

The person who we thought
was gonna be our donor is out.

"Operation: Find sperm."

He has a B.S. in mechanical engineering.

- Our kid would need braces.
- Those are some...

- Ooh, serious eyebrows.
- Some thick-ass eyebrows.

At this point, I don't care
where it comes from anymore.

The end is what's important,

and that's Kacy and I starting
a family and having a baby.

Oh!

He's cute!

I just heard that you
hooked up with Sara again.

What the fuck?

You don't have to
answer to anybody.

You're goddamn right, I don't,
'cause I'm a fucking adult.

I think Whitney is making
stupid decisions,

and she hasn't held
Sara accountable

for anything that she's done.

Sara told Hana that she
wanted to get back with her

- and move to New York.
- Yes.

It's so manipulative,
and it's so shitty.

I feel really fucking
betrayed and played.

What am I mad about, Sara,
really?

Somebody's shady as fuck,
and somebody's lying.

You lied!
You're such a fucking liar.

Are you serious right now, Sara?

And the common denominator
is always fucking Sara.

If I can't learn from this,
then I'm a fucking idiot.

♪ It was just the other night ♪

♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪

♪ I don't wanna start a fight ♪

♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪

♪ every time I take
a step left, right ♪

♪ yeah, I think I'm
gonna sleep real good tonight ♪

♪ just think about it ♪

♪ you'll find a way
to make me crazy ♪

♪ hazy ♪

♪ so hypnotized ♪

♪ think of the blue skies ♪

♪ new eyes ♪

♪ and I'll never roam again ♪

♪ I'm back in love again ♪

♪ found my way back home again ♪

♪ well, the gray
is choking the blue ♪

♪ out of the sky ♪

Thanks for calling Xytex.
Lee Whitney speaking.

Hi, Lee Whitney.
It's Cori.

Okay, Cori. Are you ready
to get your order going?

Oh, my goodness, I am so ready!

And you're still wanting
to go with donor 2-3, right?

Right.

We went to a sperm bank,

which was totally against
everything I wanted to do

in the beginning,
but now I'm so thankful.

I think this is even better.

Okay. Are you wanting
to purchase

all three of those units?

- Absolutely.
- And place them into storage?

Yes. And also
you said he's an I.D. Donor.

I just wanna confirm
that that means

that when the child reaches 18,

he is open
to being contacted...Right?

Um...Yes.

We will act as a mediator
for the offspring and the donor

unless both waive that service

and just want to have
direct communication.

That's great.

We went with an identity
disclosure candidate,

because knowing where
you came from and who you are

is kind of important
to both of us.

So we're gonna do
the three washed units.

- Uh-huh.
- And they were $640 each.

- Okay.
- So that's gonna bring

your total to...$1,920.

- Okay.
- Good luck to you both.

Thank you!
Have a great day.

- Okay. You too.
- Bye.

Oh!

- We've got batter!
- Oh, God!

Oh, jeez, $2,000...

We've never even spent
$2,000 on ourselves,

but we spent it on sperm.

- On our future.
- Sperm.

I like to refer to it
as our future.

Okay. So now we just have
to wait for me to ovulate.

Franny, what do you think
about these shoes?

What?

You're not helping me at all.

Franny, you think I should
wear the khaki pants?

Come...can you come help me
for a minute,

for one second, please?

Claire...You know,
after a huge argument,

I don't know how she shuts her
feelings off and on like that.

You like these more...
these khaki ones more?

Yeah. It kind of looks like
an old lady.

Okay.

There was so much tension,

and she just pretended
like nothing was wrong.

I can't do that.

I can't just turn things off
like that.

Well, yeah, I'll clean tomorrow.

Her and I together
just brings back bad feelings,

and so I think it's best

that we don't communicate
for a little bit.

I'm just trying to survive
until she gets out of the house.

All right, Francine.

What, um, what are you
gonna do about your apartment?

I'll be out by...I'm gonna
try and get out by Monday.

By Monday?
Okay.

Oh, that perked you right up.

- Huh?
- That perked you right up.

No. I'm just wondering
your time frame, that's all.

Okay.

All right.

- Have fun.
- Okay.

Yeah.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Scurry on.

♪ I've got my life
all put together ♪

♪ I dot the "I"s
and cross the "T"s ♪

I just want my feet rubbed.
Ooh, that's tickling.

My feet are so ticklish.
Like, this is...this tickles.

So this morning I text Chanel

to just say good morning
or whatever.

She was like, "Good morning."
I was like, "How are you?"

Like, "How are you feeling?"
And she was like, "Scary."

She was like,
"'Cause I just opened my eyes

and looked at the phone
to see if you texted me."

She goes, "I just want you
to always be excited about us

"and about me and support me

"and protect me
in my times of need.

And I know that
I'll do the same."

It sounds so soon,

and I don't know
if it's because I'm straight,

but that kind of conversation
sounded like...

in the first four days,
I'm just talking about

like...what do you like to do?
Where are we gonna go eat?

Like so that we can
get to know each other.

These kind of messages
in text...

And we don't even know
those things.

You don't even know
her favorite color!

- I know.
- And y'all are having,

"I need you to protect me"?
Get the fuck out of here.

- Are you kidding me?
- I mean, I don't know.

For me, I like her...
You know.

Like, I can't even think
about another person, you know?

So it doesn't scare me.

And it should.
It should scare you,

'cause it's so emotionally heavy.

Like, it does sound like
wedding vows,

like she just preached
her whole life,

like this is what
I'm gonna say to you...

"Support me, protect me"?
What?

Broad, I don't even know
your favorite color.

I don't know if you like
night or day.

Like, everyone sees it but me,

'cause I've never been
in a relationship.

So for me, it's like,
"Ooh, it feels good, let's go."

She's like...

I've never been
in a relationship in my life,

gay or straight.

So I have, like...
Zero experience.

We're gay.
We can't even get married.

- It's fake anyway.
- Thanks, guys.

- Bye.
- Thank you.

If we move in together,
that's a marriage.

♪ You said time
never hurt no one ♪

♪ a little bit of work
till you get things done ♪

♪ gotta slow it down
if you're on the run ♪

Hey!

Today I flew up to San Francisco

to host a party that
my friend throws at trigger.

It's so good to see you.

Then tomorrow Alyssa
and her girlfriend, shay,

are driving up to meet me.

You're here till what, Friday?

Yeah. You're never
gonna get rid of me.

- I know! Clearly.
- I'm sorry.

♪ Da da da ♪

♪ ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

San Francisco is my playground.

I go up there,
I play for a couple days,

and then I leave.

San Francisco is my Vegas.

At this point, it couldn't come
at a better time.

I'm ready to get out of L.A.

And have some
drama-free fun.

♪ It started out with a test ♪

♪ but it went straight
to your head ♪

And the Lexington
is the perfect place

to meet up with friends before
you're going out for the night.

It's like the cheers
of lesbians, really.

It's like the dive bar where
every dyke knows your name.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Sorry.
- Hi. Hey.

Sorry. Sorry,
I have to slap her.

Get another drink.

Oh, hi!

Jaq and I haven't seen each other

in a couple months now.

How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?
- I'm good.

During the summer,
when Sara and I were apart,

Jaq and I had
a very intense, short thing.

And then she said,

"I'm gonna change
my status on Facebook."

It was like slow motion.

I looked over,
and I saw her click

to "In a relationship,"
and I was like, "No!

Shit!"

It was, um...

A panic attack.

- Just me.
- I'm so impressed with you.

Needless to say, it dwindled out.

Somehow the status went away.

We never talked about it again.

But every time we see each other,

you know, there's
definite chemistry.

Look at these working hands.

- I know, right?
- These are some workin' hands.

- These are some fuckin' hands.
- These are lady hands.

At this point, I honestly
don't know what's gonna happen,

but I'm hoping that Jaq
can party with me.

Yeah.

♪ I am a lady killer ♪

♪ gonna flaunt my stuff tonight ♪

♪ gonna find myself in lights ♪

Hi, baby.

Baby.

Smells good.
I'm so hungry.

- You hungry?
- Yeah.

That smells so good, baby.

- Do you have wine?
- I got some wine.

I got you some sparkling water.

I got you something.

- Um...
- Good.

- Open it.
- Babe!

Open it. It's perfect.

- What did you get me?
- It's perfect for you.

It's gonna help you.

"The holy bookmark."

So cute, hon.

So you can organize your schedule

and get all your shit in here.

Babe, this is so cute.

- Isn't that cute, baby?
- I love it.

I'm starving.
You have your wine?

Yeah.

I am not drinking anymore,

and Kelsey is going
to continue drinking.

This is a new place
for me and Kelsey.

I mean, we've been drinking
together since we met,

and that's kind of all we know

is the two of us drunk together.

Glad that you're home.

Man, I'm really amazed
at how well I cooked this meal.

- I know.
- Damn, I'm good.

You're really proud of yourself?

She cooked me
a really sweet dinner,

and it just started off like,
oh, like, I'm home,

and I can, like, just unwind

and, like, be with my girlfriend

and just no drama.

Oh, my God, babe, the chicken
you made me, too, for lunch...

So good.
You're so good at this.

I want to take a bath,

and then we can be inspired,

and then we can fuck all night.

Come sit and talk to me.

The past couple
of weeks have been nice.

You know what I honestly
think it is?

The sunshine.

It's been nice, because
I haven't been wasted.

It's not that I...

It was going really good,

and it was cute,
and it was sweet,

but for one person,

the extra-large cheap bottle
of wine that she came home with

was probably not
the best thing for her.

How's your wine?

Do you hate it?

- No, it's fine.
- Okay.

I'm fine.

Look at them sitting down,

talking to people
about their problems.

- I know.
- No?

Okay.

When Kelsey gets a little buzzed,

she thinks she makes sense,
and she doesn't make any sense.

I think you're drunk.

No.

I think you are.

No, I'm not.

- I think you're buzzed.
- I'm buzzed, yeah.

Well, how much wine did you have?

Two glasses.

Okay, three.

Oh, my God, you're in a mood.

No, I'm not in a mood.

You're in a mood.

No, you haven't been
with me at the house.

I'm drinking.
You're not drinking.

You feel just fine

with your alcohol in you,
don't you?

Huh?

You feel fine
with your alcohol in you.

Why you gotta say that?

Normally, I'd be buzzed with her,

and I wouldn't give a shit.
It'd be fun.

This night, I just really
wanted us on the same page.

- Shh.
- She looks just like Chelsea.

What, honey?

I do think that Kelsey
has a drinking problem.

I think that she reminds me
a lot of myself.

She doesn't drink for the buzz.

I don't drink for the buzz.

Once you get the buzz
is when you should stop.

We drink to get
fucking plastered.

The party does not end.
We don't want it to end.

I can't enjoy it
when you get drunk too fast.

Okay?

Okay.

All right. I'm gonna
turn the light off.

All right.

Yah!
Hey, baby!

Basically, hosting a party
is just like you get up

and say some things
over the microphone

to get the crowd amped up.

The drinks are cheap,

and the girls are hot,

so that's what I'm tryin'
to say right here!

♪ You know that we fly tonight ♪

♪ 'cause we own the night, yeah ♪

There were definitely
some fans there.

I always like meeting people

that watched the show
the first season.

♪ We own it, we know, yeah ♪

♪ we know that we own it ♪

The thing that I don't understand

is, like, girls
always want to smell my hair.

You know, like, they'll come up

and, like, sneak a sniff.

And it's like, I mean, you can,

but I don't know if I should
hand it to 'em or what.

But one thing I've made sure of

is that this should
always smell on point.

♪ 'Cause we own it, we own it ♪

♪ we own, yeah ♪

Jaq and I are definitely
getting comfortable

with one another.

I just want to let her know
that, like,

she still has a place
in my heart, for sure.

♪ Hot is the way
you make me feel ♪

♪ oh, babe ♪

♪ hot is the way
you make me feel ♪

Jaq is gorgeous,

and I'm definitely
enjoying myself.

It's kind of, like, refreshing

to not have to deal
with intense drama

or confusing emotions.

Like, one thing I can say
about Jaq is

she's always drama-free.

♪ tell me what you want ♪

♪ you see me every night ♪

Maybe you could take lunch.

For this current moment,

Jaq is helping me
forget my troubles with Sara.

♪ Your head and go to sleep ♪

♪ I'm a superstar, star ♪

♪ star, star, star ♪

♪ give me what I want ♪

♪ give me what I want ♪

♪ I'm a superstar, star,
star, star, star ♪

♪ give me what I want ♪

♪ give me what I want ♪

♪ I'm a superstar, star ♪

You guys are gonna be saying

I'm a nasty, I'm a dirty bitch

in the background, too.

I'll cue you. Like, cue you,
like, exactly where it comes in.

So, um, I'm dancing tonight.

I'll be dancing
in my roommate's music video.

I'm a dancer,
so this should be fun.

♪ I love sex ♪

♪ s-e-x-x-x ♪

♪ I love sex ♪

♪ s-e-x-x-x ♪

♪ ooh ♪

It looks German, so...

"Ge-wurtz-rammer."

Whitney and I have been so crazy.

I mean, we had a blowout fight,

like, right before she went
to San Francisco,

so, you know, I think it's over

between us at this point.

♪ I want the same thing ♪

♪ I want to be unleashed ♪

Sara, if you're
gonna be sober tomorrow morning

and tell me I can't
use this footage,

you're fucked,
'cause I'm gonna use it.

Aah!

Whitney, I don't like

the way that she's made me
feel in the past.

♪ Let's do a scene ♪

♪ you like it rough? ♪

I just met this girl Erica,

and I'm pretty into her.

I'm sure Whitney's doing
her thing in San Francisco,

so I'm gonna do mine.

I want to be with someone
who wants to be with me,

knows they're gonna be with me.

That's it.
I don't care what you say.

Like, I'm in this,

so that's it.

I'm trying to find us
a new apartment.

Who is this "us"?

I mean, I don't know,

like, we really, really
like each other,

so if it just works,
then I'm good.

Too soon.

Or maybe I'm just
that fucking amazing.

Or maybe you crazy too.

What's up, ma?

Why do you have to put that
type of stuff on Facebook?

What type of stuff?

Ma, it's my Facebook.

My mom calls, and, um, she sees
something on my Facebook

'cause I'm excited about Chanel.

Are you getting
in trouble right now?

That's...that stuff's wrong.

I don't like that.

It's starting to bother me.

What do you mean?

That's not fair, mom.

I mean, 'cause, ma,
like, I found somebody

that I really think I like,

and I think that's
what the problem is.

Before, I was just
talking about it,

and you guys hadn't met
anyone or whatever,

- and now that there...
- What?

Might actually be someone,
you gettin' all scared again.

Huh?

I don't think I want to meet
nobody, either.

Ma, she's not on a plane
coming to north Carolina.

Ma, it's my personal Facebook.

Everybody puts
personal stuff on Facebook.

All right, Sajdah, I gotta go.

That's way too much.

Bye, mom.

Bye, Sajdah.
I love you.

I love you, too.

I grew up in a world
with just my mom.

Like, that was it.

Like, my mother
worked really hard

to, you know, provide for me

mostly because
my father never did.

She taught me to be really
comfortable in my own skin,

which made me comfortable
coming out of the closet,

but it took time for me
to get comfortable

with my sexuality,

so I know that
it's a process for her.

I told you, Marissa.

That's what she's been doing
since the beginning.

She'll call and then be like,

"Oh, I can't talk anymore.

That's too much. Bye."

But that's why it kills me,

because, like, my mom is the
most open-minded person I know.

- You know what I mean?
- I mean,

people can be open-minded
until...

- It affects them.
- It's their family.

Right, until it's
directly to you, like...

Your life completely changes
when you find out that

somebody is not on the "normal"

straight and narrow that you
expected them to be on.

It's not fair that
my whole life gotta change

- because she's uncomfortable.
- I'm just saying...

I might be uncomfortable
with some shit she decide to do,

and I had to live
through it, you know?

♪ Lock, stock,
and two smokin' barrels ♪

♪ cover my back
if I get into trouble ♪

♪ 'cause I know nobody's in it ♪

♪ for the love of it anymore ♪

♪ you show me stuff,
they show you the door ♪

♪ di-ya duh da-da-duh ♪

- Me too.
- What?

- I'm sucking you in.
- Uh-oh.

It was really good to see Jaq,

and, you know,
we picked things up

where we left them off.

Come back in bed right here.

What?

Look at this bed.

You want to pre...like, you
can make a pretend Jaq

so you can snuggle.

No.

You don't have to leave.

Come lie down with me.

Shh.

I gotta go.

- No.
- Mm-hmm.

Mm-mm.

Okay.

I have no pants on.

I know.

How is that?

I was only after one thing.

Jaq is very pleasant to be with.

Hmm?

What?

I said I'm leaving.

I'll see you later.

She hasn't burned bridges
with people.

I don't know, it's just different

from things recently
I've been used to.

♪ Boarded the sun ♪

♪ to be closer to you ♪

♪ now 15,000 miles of sky ♪

♪ separates this life ♪

♪ from one I knew ♪

I had this interview today,

and I was really
excited about it,

'cause I want to get back

into working
in the fashion industry.

In New York, I was a producer
for Calvin Klein.

Um, with that, you know,
I was booking the talent,

I was booking the photographers,

the hair and makeup,

doing all the things that make
the photo shoot happen.

So I'm looking for something

that I will be excited
and passionate about

until this whole thing
with the website works out.

Vivian, she's like, "When you
get wut of this interview,

you need to call me."

And that's normally not
just wanting to say hi.

I think she feels like
I've been acting distant,

and I have,

because I've been so distracted.

And, you know, Francine and I
had that blowout.

It's like, I've been definitely
pulling away a bit.

Viv?

The interview went really well.

I mean, the guy was really cool,

like, gay Asian guy, but, like,

really, like, cov...
arms covered in tattoos,

- like, a cool guy.
- Sounds great.

So I feel good about that,

but I've been dreading
this conversation.

Like, I feel like
everything was fine,

and then I didn't respond
to your BBM,

and you got this wave
of anxiety over you,

and now you're, like, mad.

I can't just be talking
all the time.

It's just...it's not about
how much attention,

how attentive you are.

Okay.

When have I ever stressed
you out...

I guess maybe
I just feel guilty.

Maybe I just feel guilty
about it.

That's...that's...that's you.

That's not me, 'cause I've never
acted that way towards you.

Well, it's like...

it's like
you're asking me questions

that I can't give you
the answers to.

It's like you want me
to, like...

But when have I asked...

You're like, "Well, should I
come or should I not come?"

And it's like I told you to come,

but you need to be okay
with that.

But, Vivian,
if you think that I, like...

it's like, I can't beg
you to come out here,

because I can't...

if I'm doing that,
then I'm not doing

what I said I was gonna
do out here,

and that's sort out my shit.

I don't get how
this visit turned into, like...

It was something that
we were excited about now,

and you've turned it
into this, like, doomsday.

Like, I...it's, like,
I don't t it.

Like, why are you putting...
like, you fucking are coming.

So then just stop
talking about it.

It's like I'm not gonna
talk this to death.

I have been pretty patient
with your bullshit.

Okay, so what is it?

Is it that...
do you, like...

Vivian, it's like...

Everyone keeps saying that to me.

It's like, I'm not thinking

it's all about what I want.
It's like it's...

And let's just leave it at that.

But then let's make this
the last conversation.

I love you.

You don't have to say it back.
I know.

Bye.

♪ It's obvious
you've got some nerve ♪

♪ you're telling me
you're everything ♪

♪ I deserve ♪

♪ with each step that I take ♪

♪ make no mistake ♪

♪ I make your body ache ♪

♪ but you're so full on top ♪

♪ oh, but it's not... ♪

I'm about to go back, girl.

I'm so pissed with my mother.

She kill me with that shit.

♪ Bah bah bah bah bah bah ♪

Man, what the fuck make her think

that she get to decide, you
know, "I don't like that"?

- 'Cause she's your mother.
- Okay, you don't like it.

And most kids always do stuff
to please their parents.

- No, I'm that kid.
- That's why.

And that's why
she think, like...

and now,
it's changing, so she's...

I'm not about to take dick

just because you want me to.

Aah!

Like, "Sajdah, I really don't
like you eating pussy."

Know what I'm sayin', like...

Are you gonna drive...
Bye, babe.

All right, girl.

Be good.

When you comin' back?
You gotta move.

I gotta move?
I gotta see...

Move here!

Bye, Riss.

Marissa, you know, she got
a chance to meet Chanel.

Like, out of all my friends,

Marissa's, like,
the biggest critic,

and she says, like,
I should still,

you know, keep my eyes open,
pace myself.

Hello? Chanel,
I just dropped Marissa off.

I'll see you in about an hour.

Wow!

I told you you need
to move closer.

- All right.
- All right, babe.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I don't care
if it's three days, shit.

Three hours, fuck it.

♪ I don't aim ♪

♪ I just point it to seek them ♪

♪ whoa-oh oh-oh ohh ♪

♪ I can run, I can fly ♪

♪ it is up to my mind ♪

♪ whoa-oh oh-oh ohh ♪

So I decided to go with shay
and Alyssa

and everyone to San Francisco,

and, uh, my plan is
to stay with Whitney

in her hotel room.

Do you want to hug my body?

I want to hug your body
really bad.

I mean, I would love
to hook up with whit,

because we have
really amazing chemistry.

- Hello!
- Hello!

I'm surprised to see Rachel,
honestly.

Like, I mean, this was
completely unexpected.

I think I'm gonna go back
to the hotel for a minute.

I did, but I'm just having
like a couple of puffs of them.

I...I mean, yeah.

Can Rachel have a couple
of drags before you leave?

Yeah.

- Wait, I'm confused.
- What?

Am I staying here?

I don't know
where you're staying.

I thought she was
staying with you.

- Okay, I mean, then it's just...
- We're just staying here.

She can.
I mean, she can stay here.

She could
totally crash here, right?

All of a sudden, you look
like you have no energy

and you hate your life.
What happened?

Do you feel like you've been
drained by a vampire?

Hmm?
I'm really confused right now,

because I think
they were all assuming

that Rachel was gonna
be sleeping with me.

But last I knew,
Jaq was sleeping with me,

and that seems like
a lot of cooks in the kitchen.

There's gotta be, like,
one of those lighters in here.

You know,
they're, like, long lighters.

You really look
like you hate everybody.

I'm annoyed.

With?

Just the situation.
Just, like, her.

I know that Rachel's hoping

that she can pick up
where she left off with Whitney.

This mine?

And I think that she's feeling
a little left in the dust

and I think
a little out of place.

I hear shoes.

Clink clank, chancletas.

It's me.

Baby bird!

- Hi.
- Hey.

Mmm.

I love you.

Will you make me a cocktail?

Rachel, Jaq.

- Hi.
- So nice to meet you.

Oh, don't shake my hand.

I had no idea Jaq
was gonna be there.

I know that her and Whitney
had something together,

but I had no idea that they were
rekindling anything.

You know, that's typical Whitney.

She always likes to have
her options open.

I love your little scarfy thing

and twirl.

Oh, my God.

Jaq drives a prop truck.

Is it a large truck?

It's really big.
It's, like, 12-feet-tall.

- Hey!
- A 12-foot-tall prop truck.

- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey! Oh.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Hey.
- How are you?

I'm good.
How are you?

I'm good.

Needless to say, this is awkward.

I have Rachel here,
and there's Jaq.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I don't really know.

I can't help but notice

that I keep surrounding myself
with all these women

that I've dated or I'm dating.

- Trouble.
- Okay.

Are you still going
to your hotel room?

Why are you a man
of few words tonight?

Like, why do you look like
the saddest person in the world,

like...like,
you saw a murder

and now you have nothing to say?

- Bitches.
- What the hell?

This is what I'm talking about.

Why are you a zombie?

Like, what happened?

- Hey!
- Yay!

- Oh, how are you?
- Good, good, good!

How are you guys?
You guys hungry?

I can smell the pizza from here.

It's the best pizza ever.

So we got the sperm,

and I think we're ready
to kind of tell people,

so we're inviting
my cousin Timmy,

Shannon, Cori's cousin,

and our friends, Kim and Yami.

And I think my sister's
gonna be stopping by later.

Up until now, it's been, like,
kind of talked about,

but now it's...it's real.

And we're just gonna get
everybody as excited

as we are to have a baby.

Um, yesterday Cori and I
bought sperm.

Wow, really?

We found it.

Oh, my God.

- Awesome. Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Would you like a napkin?

- Hi!
- Aah!

- Hi, Nikki!
- This is Kacy's sister.

How are you?

Nikki is
my only true blood sister.

She is my "older" sister
by about 22 months.

When we were little,

my sister, all she ever wanted

was a little sister
who she could dress up

and, like, do hair with
and put makeup on.

Like, you know,
I looked like a boy.

And now...
Now that she's got Cori,

you know, finally she has,
you know, a little sister

to kind of do that with.

We bought sperm yesterday
on the Internet.

Oh, my God!

I just bought an aerobed.

Um, what kind of sperm
did you get?

Show me a picture.

It's in the freezer.
Go check it out.

Are they strong swimmers?

They are strong swimmers.

Careful what you get to drink.

It's not...
it's not going yet.

- Is it in here?
- It's in the waffles.

Wait, you swear to God.

No, Nikki, it's not in there.

I don't know what
you do with sperm.

- It comes in...
- You're straight!

You should know exactly
what to do with sperm.

Oh, boy.

- Eww!
- Aah!

- That's my girl!
- Oh, boy.

Nikki, do you realize,
every time you swallow

that's $640 down the drain?

- Ohh!
- Ohh!

Like, one shot of sperm?

- One...we bought three.
- $640.

How much is it
per thing of sperm?

- $640.
- $640.

- That's him, that's him.
- That's him.

- Oh!
- You have a picture?

Ooh, wow.

She's like,
"Ooh, is he available?"

Oh, my God, he's adorable.

And he only had three left,
so I was like,

"Let's get those,"
because you never know.

The weird thing is
they do...

There is sperm that's cheaper.

If this guy
didn't want to be contacted,

he would have
only been $530 a pop.

- Oh.
- Ohh!

So they add on $110.

Can you imagine, though?

110 bucks so that your kid
can know where they came from

and have the opportunity to,
like, make sense of their life?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

And what if our kid
comes in like,

"I want to know this guy.
I like him.

I want to bring him home.
I want you guys to meet him"?

What would you say?

- 18 years from now?
- Mm-hmm.

Um, I have no idea.

I mean, I guess.

I'd like to say thank you...
Maybe?

I don't know.

Send him
a fruit basket...

An edible arrangement.
Hey, thanks.

Here's some
chocolate-covered pineapple.

Best thing if something
happened to one of us,

that person would not have
custody of them.

You...you know,
it's gonna be you.

- You're going to.
- The godmother.

By the way...

By the way, as the godmother,
you're gonna have custody

of our children if something
happens to Cori and I.

You know, I would be happy
to have that honor, for sure.

- Aww!
- For sure.

Happy to have that honor.

That's what it's called.

Oh, my God, I'm so excited.

Nikki, you're gonna be an auntie!

I'm gonna have a stroller,

and I'm gonna push him in it...
him or her.

You think it's gonna be
a him or her?

Back then, like, it wasn't...

It wasn't a thing.

♪ The outsiders ♪

♪ a sight ♪

♪ the sore eyes ♪

I'm gonna get the
non-alcoholic beer right now.

Okay, girls, dinner ready
in five minutes.

Yeah!

It's my first night going out

and being around people
without drinking,

and I don't want to do a club.

I want to do, like, a nice,
intimate kind of setting

with a friend
who's very supportive.

Khristianne is
a very good friend of mine.

She's a chef,

and Khristianne has been
supportive of me

moving in a positive direction
in my life.

Mangia, mangia.

Can I get
the non-alcoholic champagne?

- Absolutely.
- Thank you.

- And can I have another?
- I got you covered.

- Thank you.
- Okay, girls,

thank you for coming.

- To girls.
- To girls.

- To women.
- To girls.

Oh, my God, what was that game
we played the last time?

"Who did...
who did what?"

- "Who did who?"
- "Who did who?"

"Who did who?"

No "Who did who?"
At this table right now!

No "Who did who?"

Who's had a threesome
with a guy and a girl?

Trust me.
Threesome's never good.

Oh, um...

It wasn't as fun
as I had remembered

most of my dinner parties.

I don't know how to be me,

because me has been drunk
for a long time.

How about how many people here
are gold star?

Oh, wow.

Never fucked a...

What's a gold star?

You haven't.

Ahh!

- Lisa!
- Lisa!

I've never even seen one
in person.

I'm just trying
to keep that energy up,

and everyone's getting drunk,

and, you know,
"Let's go to beauty bar,"

and Kelsey's, like wanting to go,

and I'm trying to keep
that fun Romi.

Like, "Yes! We're
gonna go to the club.

Let's do it."

But I am dying.

How are you doing right now?

I'm fine.
It's just...

I have to get used to, like,
keeping my energy up

- and, like, being...
- Being Romi and, like...

Yeah, and still being me
and not losing, like, me

just because I'm not, like,
drinking, you know?

Right.

So I'm just...
I'm gonna go to the club,

and I'm gonna have fun

and not let it, like,
be anything, you know?

Yeah.

Chanel and I are going on
our first official date night.

Like, we've never gone on a date,

and we're going out,
so it should be a fun night.

- You all right?
- Yes.

- Don't ask me that.
- What's wrong with you?

'Cause you acting
all nervous or something.

I'm...I'm acting more nervous
'cause you're asking me that.

No, I just wanted
to see you, like, once 'cause...

Like, just us.

And then next weekend
is our birthday,

which means everybody's
gonna be there.

Everyone seems excited
to see who this girl is

that has me all bubbly.

Yeah? It should be good.

They're gonna love me, so...
So it's good.

And if they don't?

I mean, that sounds
like your problem, not mine.

That's not something
I gotta deal with.

I'm very much
like a 13-year-old boy.

Like, I just came out,
so it's, like, brand-new.

I'm definitely still learning
how to be with a woman.

You know, I'm scared.

So many things are...
that we have in common, like...

You was born for me.

You know that, right?

Oh, for real?
How's that work?

- That's my birthday.
- But I was born before you.

But God knew I was gonna come
on that day.

So he went ahead and...

So honestly, I think
he was granting my wish.

I think he was making you for me.

- That was a wish of yours?
- Uh-huh.

You see how big
my head is.

You better slow down.

I just always
wanted to meet someone

that was, like, totally into me,

because, like, I fall
head over heels,

like, every time...

like, every time and...

Damn, I thought I was special.

No, seriously.

You don't have to say it.

I know you feel the same way.

At this point, Chanel is,
like, damn near begging

for me to ask her
to be my girlfriend.

She's really feeling me,
you know?

So, um, I was just
kind of prepping for it.

But, like, what I feel now,

I didn't even ow
to desire before.

Like, seriously, like,

it's more than I even
knew to want.

I don't want you to feel like
you're out there by yourself.

I don't want to feel
that way, either.

You're not.

You're not out there by yourself.

I've decided I'm finally gonna
ask her to be my girlfriend.

What's this?

But I'm askin'
her old school, like,

"Will you be my girlfriend?
Check yes or no."

Of course, she checked yes.

You're so cheesy.

Are you serious?

It's so pretty.

It's so pretty.

I want to do this.

I want to do it, too.

My life sucks.

It doesn't suck.

It's making me homesick,
actually.

San Francisco?

Homesick for New York?

Yeah.
I'm already upset now

because I got fuckin' left here,

which is fine...
I'm happy to be with you guys,

- but, like...
- Right.

You know, just even...at least
say, "No, you can't come."

I hate when people
can't talk to me,

you know what I'm saying?

Well, you know whit...
that's like

having an expectation
that a unicorn's

gonna run up into
the apartment from the street.

- "Hello!"
- Whitney's Whitney.

Whitney's just
sort of living her life

and going about
her everyday Whitney things.

And I don't think that she knows

that some of the things
that she's doing

might be pushing Rachel
a little over the edge.

But there will be
hot ladies tonight?

I'm sure there will be.

Am I gonna get
into trouble tonight?

I hope so.

Rachel, do we need to watch you?

I think we do.

And by watch you mean encourage.

- Encourage me.
- Yes, okay.

Fuck Whitney.

I'm gonna go out tonight
and flirt

with hot San Francisco chicks.

Nobody hairy, though.

I don't want hairy people.

Well, we're
in San Francisco, so...

- I know.
- Ohh!

♪ Turn it up ♪

♪ rockin' hard, we go
hard every day and night ♪

♪ hard every day and night ♪

♪ hard every day and night ♪

♪ listenin' to this club music ♪

♪ got you out of sight ♪

♪ show me what you got ♪

♪ if you want to play
the way... ♪

Most of my friends drink,

and most of my friends
drink heavily.

I don't need to be there.

I'm already too old to be there.

Let the little kids come in
and find their girlfriends

and learn that they're gay
and have fun.

♪ Bang your head
to this real club music ♪

You drunk?

- No, I'm not drunk.
- Ha ha ha!

I'm feeling good, though, yeah.

When Kelsey gets a little buzzed,

I know more than anybody.

Her eyes, the way she's speaking,

the way she talks.

She's got so much shit
inside of her,

she'll say things
she wouldn't normally say.

She'll look at me in ways

that she may have not expressed
to me she felt.

It's just like a train wreck.

Why can't we just have,
like, a smooth night, you know?

It's because, like,

you get like, drunk or you
start, like, doing something,

and I, like, watch you, and then
you don't want me to watch you,

and then you react to it.

Can I get a red bull?

And I kind of lost her
through the night.

♪ On your way down ♪

♪ don't think it'll be easy ♪

♪ it's a showdown ♪
Fine.

♪ So don't believe
what you're told ♪

♪ just 'cause they say so ♪

♪ oh, give it all your love ♪

Whitney isn't even at the party.

As usual, she's in her own world

not thinking of anybody else.

Even Jaq said,
"Where did Whitney go?"

♪ What you know ♪

♪ it's all just a show ♪

♪ there's no pot of gold ♪

♪ at the end of the rainbow ♪

♪ rainbow ♪

♪ birds fly over the rainbow ♪

♪ but I'm locked in a cage ♪

I am having a great time
in San Francisco,

but I've decided just to stay in
for the night.

Like, my mind
just can't get right.

Like, Rachel shooting up

just when I was
reconnecting with Jaq

is making me overwhelmed
and confused,

and things are complicated.

And I don't know
what I want right now.

I come from a family of addicts,

and I, myself, had
a history of drug problems.

And it's like you can put
the bottle down,

but it doesn't change
your addictive personality.

Sometimes it just
moves on to other things.

So it's, like,
now have I, you know,

supplemented my addiction
to substance

with my addiction to girls?

I don't know.

What I do know is that Jaq...

She's, like, a good girl,

and I don't want to, like,
bring her into some shit.

♪ I want to keep away ♪

♪ but I don't ♪

- Bye, honey.
- All right. Bye.

I'll see you next weekend.
Okay. Bye, honey.

- All right, bye.
- Have a good night.

Come on, baby.

Bye, guys.

♪ I need to take this in ♪

♪ but I can't ♪

No, I just am in this mood.

Like, I just want
to like scream right now.

I don't know why.
I'm just, like, in a really

weird funk, and then,
like, you getting drunk.

You're, like, swaying in there
and spilling...

Babe, but I...
That's...

I know, that's you.

I'm just saying, like,
you're drunk.

You drank a lot.

I can d...
I can drink a lot.

You drank a lot tonight.

Like, all the vodka there,
the vodka on the way,

champagne.

Can we have sex?

Baby, oh, not right now.

I don't want to, if, like,
you're drunk and I'm sober.

We never have sex...

I know.

Ever.

I know!

And it would be easier, like,
if we were both sober

and came home
and, like, wanted to, you know?

But, like, then when you're
drunk and you're all tipsy...

That's not an excuse.

You don't...you just
don't want to have sex.

That's not true.

You never show me that you
want to have sex.

'Cause I'm in a funk.

The past month,
you've been in a funk.

The past month.

You don't want me to, like,
find someone else, do you?

No. Is that what you want to
do is find someone else?

Are you thinking about
being with somebody else?

Kels, is that
what you're thinking?

Are you gonna answer me?

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

I want to have sex, damn it,

and we're not having sex.

I hate it.

I hate it.

I hate it.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to make you cry.

Don't cry over it, babe.

I'm just so frustrated.
You know, like, I hate it.

I hate it.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I know you're, like,
drunk right now, too, you know?

Okay, I'm drunk,

and you're sober.

How are we gonna do this?

But it's like,
it's all I have with you, hon.

We'll make it work.

Like, don't worry about us, like,

breaking up or anything
like that, you know.

Yeah, I'm
a little bit tipsy right now,

and I'm feeling good,

and I want to fuck
the shit out of you.

Down.

Come here.

I felt bad.

I felt sad.

I'm looking at my girlfriend,

who, yes, is drunk,

but I've been there before.

And she's feeling vulnerable,
and she's feeling sad,

and she's feeling like
she just wants to, like,

break down and cry

because she doesn't feel
this love from me,

and that broke my heart.

I want to make love
to you every day,

every time I see you.

Okay.

Like, this needs to end.

How do you like having
a drunk girlfriend

when you're sober?

Well, I have to take
advantage of you.

♪ To feel your pulse ♪

♪ skip a beat to regress ♪

♪ I try to hide my distress ♪

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh!

Okay, okay, okay.
Okay.

Oh, babe.

Oh, that's so good.

Yeah.

Ohh!

Oh, baby!

Keep going.

Oh! Baby.

Shit.

It's all wet!

Baby, I squirted.

♪ Forever ♪

♪ forever ♪

♪ forever ♪

♪ I'll never love another ♪

♪ I'll never see the end ♪

♪ I'll never love another ♪

♪ I'll miss you forever ♪

Things started off
pretty hot and heavy

and like it used to be
with Jaq and I

when I first got
to San Francisco.

But by the end, I think
something weird shifted,

and we never had time
to really talk

about what was going on with us.

I thought that leaving the city

would make me be able
to escape my problems,

but it turns out, mmm, geography
doesn't really cure everything.

♪ Tonight
we count our blessings ♪

What happened to you last night?

♪ Oh, cha-a-a-nge ♪

♪ it's a funny thing ♪

♪ our lives ♪

♪ and it's a beautiful surprise ♪

♪ tonight ♪

♪ tonight ♪

Did you have fun last night?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

You got a little drunk?

I got a little drunk.

A little bit.

Do you remember?

Yeah, I drank
a little bit too much.

No, you were falling over.

You were gonna go leave me.

I wasn't going to.

I was like,
"I must have sex now!"

I like to think of it
as making love.

Yes, we made love.

She would like
to think of it as that.

We made sweet, passionate,
amazing love.

Oh, you swear.
Oh, my God.

And it was good.

It felt good.
I forget.

- You forget what?
- How good it feels.

I forgot what
it feels like to get off.

And it feels good.

♪ Take it easy ♪

♪ take it easy ♪

♪ then it hurts when we give in ♪

♪ just a... ♪

♪ Yet I don't see... ♪

Whitney and I, we haven't
seen each other in a while,

and, for me, it's really weird

when I started getting
text messages from her.

And, um, I mean,
they were serious text messages.

"I need to talk to you.
I need to know what's going on.

I need to know.
We need to talk."

Like, "I feel
really weird right now.

I really need to," you know.

And I was just like,
"Oh, my God."

I didn't respond, 'cause
I didn't know what to say.

So...

How was San Francisco?

It was fucked up and confusing.

Why?

I just, like,
feel very overwhelmed,

and, like, I just...

Like, I don't like the way
that we ended things before.

Like, it's been eating at me.

I don't know, like,
what exactly to do with you.

And, like, I feel like
you're, like, so cold now

and, like, distant.

The last time I saw you,
it was like,

I walked away that night,

and I was just like, "This is it.

I'm not ever
doing this again."

Like, I don't want to deal
with you,

and I don't want to deal
with the drama

that has to do with everything.

Like, I can't just have

a fucking normal relationship
with you.

That's all I want.

You know, that's all I wanted
was to, like, be with you,

and I know that we could
have been so great

if only you would just let me in.

But only if you would have
just been honest the whole time.

Sara won't own up
to her shit with Hana.

The word "apologize"
does rarely exist

in Sara's vocabulary.

Like, I care about you.

Like, I don't want you
to be out of my life.

I don't understand what it is.

Like, you know, and
the thing is, is that, like,

I never wanted to put
any pressure on you

'cause I wanted you to be with me

'cause you wanted to be with me.

It just felt like that
was never gonna happen.

But that's because
there kept being new hang-ups.

New hang-ups because what?
'Cause we kept going

- back and forth?
- No!

'Cause you couldn't
just fuckin' accept

the fact that, like, it...

'Cause I would find
new things out.

Okay, I just wish we could
fucking clean the slate.

Like, no bullshit.
Like, no...nothing.

I told you, like,

I would be the best girlfriend
you'd ever have,

but once I get to that
fucking point, that's it.

I'm just...I turn it off,

and I don't exactly know
how to turn it back on.

I'm not saying that
I don't want to,

because I do love you
for all the same reasons.

It's not like you changed or...

I mean, like, if you
want to be patient

with me and, like,
my process and, like,

you know?

I know Sara really well.

She wants to "process,"
which means

she wants to be able to get away

with hooking up
with someone else?

Like, okay, girl,
I wrote this book

that you're...
you're reading here.

I mean, is your process gonna
involve dating other people?

Because I need to know,
based on my own process.

This is not
about seeing other people.

This is about, like,
my thing with you.

I just need to process, you know?

At this point,
I am tired of fighting.

I'm tired of talking about it.

I'm tired of defending things.

I want...I mean, whatever.

I can't not have you
in my life in some form.

So, I mean...

You're...you are my butt.

You have a nice butt.

I think we're mutually
addicted to one another,

but on the same token,

Sara and I have real emotions
for one another,

and I feel like I haven't closed
that door 100%.

And then we're back
to square one.

♪ I-I-I-I-I don't know how to ♪

♪ I need something else ♪

♪ 'cause I don't have the will ♪

♪ I need you,
I wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-nt you ♪

♪ but I-I-I-I-I-I can't undo ♪

Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com