All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S02E35.The.Green-Eyed.Martian.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

(playful orchestral fanfare)

(bubbling)

(droplet plinks)

- All that bubble bubble,
for that one little plink.

(audience laughs)

- That plink Tim, is
800 proof alcohol.

- Crazy, you take
onions or olives?

(audience laughs)

- I'll take a
return trip to Mars.

By tomorrow night, that
beaker will contain

50 centiliters of
hyper propellant,

enough to boost my spaceship
into the proper flight pattern

while Mars is still
in a contiguous orbit.

- That, will do that?

- Only if the process
continues uninterrupted,

and I must have it
by tomorrow night.

- Well, I wish you luck,

but Brennan is still
snooping around.

- I thought I sensed
a hostile presence.

(audience laughs)

Whenever Detective
Brennan is around,

my antenna quivers,
and I hate that!

It tickles!
(audience laughs)

There he is, the
human bloodhound.

(suspenseful
orchestral interlude)

- Boy, you know that
brew is pretty potent,

sooner or later, he's
bound to come up here.

All he has to do
is follow his nose.

- Ah, don't worry Tim,

I've put together
a little something

that will deal with
Detective Brennan

once and for all.

- Oh, you mean a few drops in
the coffee cup Senor Bolanger?

- Hardly, this is
A Formula A dash

six seven three five dash K
squared, as found on page 64 in

the Martian Compendium
of Home Remedies,

or What To Do Til
The Zygablat Comes.

- Do tell.
(audience laughs)

- It's an irresistible spray,

you see Brennan is here
primarily because of Mrs. Brown,

but what if Mrs. Brown became
interested in another man?

- You mean no more brownies
for Lieutenant Brennan?

- Precisely, Dr. Watson.

My plan is to spray this
on a suitable candidate,

introduce him to Mrs. Brown,

and Brennan will then,
as you say here on Earth,

stop bugging us.

- You mean that
one little spray--

- It's not to be
used lightly Tim.

One spray of this
will render a person

completely irresistible
to the opposite sex.

- Oh well, it can't
be all that bad.

(audience laughs)

How long does it last?

- Forever, unless you
have the antidote.

(magical music)

(audience laughs)

Now Tim, are you going
on that interview now?

- Uh-hm.

- Good, then you can drop
me at the drug store.

(audience laughs)

- Just one little
(mimics spray noise)?

- Tim you don't need that.

Only this morning
you were telling me

that no girl could
resist your charm!

- Uncle Martin, you
know what a liar I am.

(audience laughs)

- Tim!

Tim!

Martin!

Tim!

Have you seen the
morning newspaper?

Oh, there it is.

Oh, perfume.

(audience laughs)

Hm!

(spritzes)

Oh, that's really different.

(audience laughs)

(pleasant orchestral interlude)

Good morning Martin,

I was just on my way
to the butcher shop.

Can I get you anything?

- Oh no, thank you
Lorelei, I don't need--

(comical musical punctuation)

- But Martin, what is it!

- Darling, I love you!
(audience laughs)

(comical orchestral flourish)

(high pitched beeps)

(otherworldly music)

(high pitched beeps)

(whimsical orchestral
theme music)

(pleasant orchestral interlude)

- What are we watching?

- Mrs. Brown's house,
the butcher's inside.

- The butcher?

So what?

- That hairy thumbed,
pig-knuckled purveyor,

knows very well that
Lorelei's the only woman

in the galaxy for me.

- I must be hearing things,

when did this happen?

- Who can explain when
two star-crossed lovers

realize their
destinies are mingled,

unless a certain
snake slithers in,

trying to tempt her innocent
soul with a juicy pot roast.

- If I didn't know you better,

I'd think you were jealous.

- Jealous!

(laugh)

Who's jealous?

(magical music)

I'm just going down there

and tear him sirloin from
spare rib, that's all.

(audience laughs))
- You can't do that,

because you're not
thinking like a Martian,

and unless you think
like a Martian,

people are going to
know, you're a Martian.

(audience laughs)

- You're right Tim.

- Then you're not going to go.

(comical musical punctuation)

You're going.
(audience laughs)

- Really Mr. Sanders,
I should put this meat

in the refrigerator.

- How can you talk
about refrigeration

when my heart is being
char coal broiled.

(audience laughs)

- Mr. Sanders,
what's come over you?

(magical music)

- I can tell you Lorelei,

he'd go to any lengths
to get customers

for his inferior meat.

- Oh, Martin, I didn't
hear you come in.

- I'm here to protect
you from this,

this, philandering
filet merchant!

- What's philandering?
(audience laughs)

This morning, this
morning when you asked me

for farmer's style spare ribs,

with the fat trimmed
off, cracked at the top,

I suddenly knew, you
were the only woman

in the world for me.

- Balderdash!

(door buzzer)

- Oh, excuse me,
I'll be right back,

hold my place, I don't
want to miss any of this.

(audience laughs)

- Hello Lorelei.

- Hello, come on in.

- What's all this?

Praying for rain?

- Strangest thing Bill,

Mr. Sanders was just
saying that he loves me.

- Brennan, why don't you go
and protect the populace?

Someone may be putting slugs
in the penny gum machine

at this very minute.

- Martin loves me too.

- Why they can't love you,

I'm the one who loves you.

- Why don't the
both of you go now,

so I can be alone
with my sweetbread?

- She's not your sweetbread,
she's my sugar plum.

- What sugar plum, you're
speaking to the pussycat I love.

(clears throat)

What is it Lorelei,
ask anything of me.

- For you, I'd climb
the highest mountain.

- And I would personally
jump off that mountain.

- While that one's climbing,
and the other one's jumping,

how about you and me
going out for the evening.

- Oh, really, all I want
to do is put my spare ribs

in the refrigerator.

(comical musical flourish)

(magical music)

- Ah, I think this
solid silver tie clip

goes rather well with my solid
silver buttons, don't you?

- I think the whole
thing goes very well

with your solid silver head.

Uncle Martin you are
just not thinking.

Now, how many times
have you told me

it would be absolutely fatal
for you to fall in love

with an Earth woman.

- I realize that Tim,

but I just can't
seem to help myself.

To paraphrase one of
your better Earth poets,

I've got her under my skin,

I've got her deep
in the heart of me.

- You're going to have
Brennan all over you,

because if he is as
jealous of Mrs. Brown

as you are, he's
going to come up here,

and tear this place apart

until he finds
something to get on you,

and with that 800 proof
martini in the kitchen,

he won't have to look very far.

- You're right Tim,
it is a danger.

Oh, do you think these cuff
links are a little too much?

- I think the whole
thing is too much.

You seem to think
that Mrs. Brown--

Hey, wait a minute.

That's it!

(musical punctuation)

She must have gotten some
of that (mimics spray) stuff

all over her.

- Of course Tim, she must have.

It's the only explanation.

- I'll go down and tell her.

- No, no, no, Tim, don't.

If you get near Lorelei, you'll
fall in love with her too.

And you know what
will happen then?

- What?

- You'll try to take
her away from me,

and I'll despise you.

You have been seeing Lorelei
behind my back, haven't you!

You've been seeing her
behind my back, I know that!

Admit it!

Admit it!

- This is not like
you Uncle Martin.

- Of course it isn't Tim, I
made that irresistible spray

so strong, that it overcomes
even my superior intellect.

Up here I know this
will undoubtedly
expose me as a Martian

and ruin everything,
but down here I say,

come live with me
and be my love,

and we will all
the pleasures prove

that valleys, groves,
hills, and fields,

woods, or steepy
mountain's yields.

- Oh brother.

Here comes Brennan, and
he's going to show you

what the inside of a
creepy jail cell yields.

- Brennan, you have
to get rid of him Tim.

I don't dare let him
see what I'm doing.

- Now you're talking sense.

- Of course I'm talking sense,

because he'll try
to steal the sonnet

that I'm writing for Lorelei.

- Now I know what non
compos mentis means.

(audience laughs)

- Shall I compare thee
to a Martian moon?

- Would you mind just making
your poetry a little quieter.

Well, detective Brennan,
isn't it a nice day.

- It will be once I get
my hands on lover boy.

- Lover boy?

Oh you mean, Uncle Martin.

- He thinks he can take
Lorelei away from me,

but he won't be
around long enough.

(sniffs)

I've been smelling
something peculiar,

and I finally traced it up here.

(sniffs)

To that little old brew master.

- Oh no, no, no, I',
sure that you're mistaken

Detective Brennan.

I think really what
you're smelling

is the fragrance of
Mrs. Brown's garden.

Yes, the roses, the
azaleas, the petunias.

- If those are petunias,

they'd better join
Flower's Anonymous.

(audience laughs)

Will you get out of my way?

I know the evidence
is right inside there.

- I'm sorry Detective Brennan,
but I can't let you in there.

- Why do you hate me?
(audience laughs)

- Well it isn't that exactly.

- I know, you're trying to
take Lorelei away from me too.

- Me!

Never.

- You O'Hara's
are two of a kind,

and I'll settle
both your hashes.

I'm going to get
a search warrant.

(dramatic orchestral interlude)

- Well, that gives me
a little more time.

But how does a
mere human protect

a lovesick Martian bootlegger?

(audience laughs)

Oh come on Uncle Martin,

you've got to dismantle this
stuff, and get it out of here.

If Brennan finds it,
we're in big trouble.

- I appreciate your concern Tim,

but this equipment must
distill enough spaceship fuel

so I can use it tomorrow night.

- Look, you cannot go back
to Mars in this condition.

- Who wants to go to Mars?

- Oh, good.

- Tomorrow night I'm taking
Lorelei away from all this.

- Oh?

- Uh-hm, we're going to elope,

and honeymoon on Venus.
(audience laughs)

(comical orchestral flourish)

- Two handkerchiefs, check.

- How can you sit
there so calmly,

and tell me that
you and Mrs. Brown

are going to fly away--

- Excuse me Tim, I'm
not just sitting here,

I'm checking out
the necessary items

to take on my little jaunt.

You might call it my trousseau.

- You haven't told Mrs.
Brown that you're a Martian.

- Oh Lorelei doesn't
know anything about this.

I thought it would be more
romantic to surprise her

once we were on our way.

- This is not eloping,
this is kidnapping,

and there are laws in
this state, that say--

- [Mrs. Brown]
Yoo-hoo, Martin, Tim!

(groans)
(audience laughs)

- Oh, it's my sugar plum.

- [Mrs. Brown]
Yoo-hoo, Martin, Tim!

- She can't see this!

It would spoil the surprise.

- Tim!

Tim!

Yoo-hoo!

Oh, there you are.

You know, I've been
wanting to talk to you,

and you've been
avoiding me all day.

There you see, you're
doing it again.

- Doing what?

- Acting so strangely.

Everybody else likes me.

- There you are Lorelei!

I see I've arrived
in the nick of time.

What's that fiend doing to you?

- Doing, he won't
even come near me.

- A likely story.

You!

Stay away from her.

- Believe me, I'm
doing the best I can.

- I wish you boys would
learn to get along.

Maybe you just don't know
each other well enough.

- Oh, I know how his mind works.

- Ah, well, that's a step
in the right direction.

Now, I'm going to go
downstairs and make a batch

of fudge brownies, and
we'll all get together later

and talk about it.

Bye!

- There goes nature's
loveliest creation.

Now, where's nature's
ghastliest mistake?

He in there?

- No, no, he--

(audience laughs)

- For you my dear.

- Thanks O'Hara.
(audience laughs)

- My light of love?

Where is she?

She's gone.

- So, you are a bootlegger.

I'll just keep this as evidence.

Now, where's the still.

- Just a minute
Detective Brennan,

what about your search warrant?

- I haven't had time to get one.

I've been too busy making plans
concerning a certain lady.

- Mrs. Brown.

- Tim, I can understand
your being attracted to her,

but stop sneaking
around behind my back.

You're trying to take her
away from me aren't you!

- Believe me Detective Brennan,

she doesn't mean a thing to me.

- Don't you say a
word against her.

- What happens when he
gets in the kitchen?

- Kitchen, I'm glad
you reminded me Tim.

We'll need lots of food,

the restaurants on
Venus are terrible!

(audience laughs)

- Just one second Detective!

You don't want to go in there.

- Why not?

- We're fumigating.

- Too bad it didn't work.

Step aside.

- Ah, Detective
Brennan I can explain.

- Explain what?

- Explain that!

Kitchen ...

Such a mess, you
see dirty dishes.

It's very

unneat.
(audience laughs)

- Well hog sure, satisfied?

- I won't be satisfied
until I find that still.

Believe me I will find it.

They don't call be Bulldog
Brennan for nothing.

(audience laughs)

- Where is the still?

- I've dismantled it.

- Good, then you won't be
able to make enough fuel

to take Mrs. Brown to Venus.

- Perhaps.

We'd simply use
whatever I'd prepared.

It should be enough to
land on a lonely asteroid

and make a romantic life far
from the maddening crowd.

Then I'll really
have her to myself.

(audience laughs)

(sneezes)

- If I don't find that
book, with that antidote,

and counterbalance
Mrs. Brown's spray,

Uncle Martin's cooked.

Where could he have
hidden that book?

I've heard of crafty Martians,
but this is ridiculous.

(bag rustles)

(objects bang)

Martian Compendium
of Home Remedies

or What To Do Until The
Zygablat Comes home.

(audience laughs)

Why that crafty--

Page 64.

Page 64.

64

It's in Martian.

(book slams shut)

I can translate it
if I can just find

his English-Martian dictionary.

That's beautiful,

that means I have to
look for another book.

(audience laughs)

(objects bang)

(suspenseful
orchestral interlude)

If only I could
think like a Martian.

Maybe a sandwich will
give me strength.

(playful orchestral music)

Now, for a lovesick Martian,

where would I hide a dictionary?

Martian to English.

Oh boy, is that
Martian lovesick!

(audience laughs)

See a ...

A wiggly line.

It's an A.

A line that looks like an S.

What do you know, it's an S.

- Hello Tim.

All is in readiness.

What are you doing?

- Oh, nothing,
nothing, Uncle Martin.

You just can't go like this.

There's nothing
else I can do Tim.

Your friendship has
meant a great deal to me

and I hate long farewells so,

so I'll say only
(speaks in Martian).

(audience laughs)

- What?

- Well it loses in
the translation Tim,

but roughly it means,
(sniffs) goodbye.

- No wait a minute,

do you have to go
at this minute?

- No, no, no, the bird
is on the wing Tim,

the bird is on the wing.

It's time to sweep
sugar plum off her feet,

and onto Venus.

Goodbye!

- Star with a dot over it,
star with a dot over it.

P

Question mark, crazy little ...

N, N.

A S P I R I N

A S P I R I N

Aspirin!

Aspirin!

You mean that is the
antidote for all that!

(audience laughs)

(door slams)

Mrs. Brown!

Mrs. Brown!

Oh my gosh!

Get the canvas!

(frantic orchestral music)

- Lorelei, I've always
said you make the greatest

fudge brownies in the world.

As Wordsworth said, if music
be the food of love, play on.

- I'll believe you'll find

that William
Shakespeare said that.

- Your ignorance
is showing O'Hara.

I'll prove I'm right.

- Oh, I think the book
you'll like is over there.

- Oh yes, quotations,
quotations, ah yes, quotations.

Music, music, music, music ...

If music be--

Well I don't understand it.

This book does
credit Shakespeare.

- Perhaps the book is wrong.

Why don't you try another.

- Don't be sarcastic O'Hara.

(magical music)

You know sometimes I think--

There it is again.

- There what is again?

- That same odor.

(sniffs)

It's coming from
your kitchen Lorelei.

- Well, now that's funny.

I don't have anything cooking.

- Of course not my dear.

This cut rate Capone
knew I was closing in,

so he's planted a still
in your window box.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, that's impossible Bill.

The window box is
full of geraniums.

(magical music)

Ooh!

- Be calm Lorelei,
it must be a fuse.

I'll take care of it.

- Mrs. Brown

Mrs. Brown, where are you!

What are you doing here?

- Nor snow, nor rain, nor
heat, nor gloomy night,

staves this courier from
his loved one's sight.

- Oh, the postman, does
Mrs. Brown know you're here?

- You're trying to take
her away from me too!

- Uncle Martin, I know
you're in a hurry,

but aren't you making
a little mistake?

- Oh, good grief.

(audience laughs)

- What were you
doing in the kitchen?

- My love is like
a choice filet,

so tender and so sweet,

I adore Mrs. Brown if I may say,

it's her, I'd love to eat.

- Oh no!

- Oh yeah!

- I fixed it Lorelei.

- I have something for you.

- Oh my!

- Mrs. Brown, have an aspirin.

- But I don't have a headache.

- You will.

- Tim I don't
understand you today.

- Mrs. Brown, have you ever
tried a fudge brownie sandwich?

- No, I --

- Well it's the new
taste sensation.

- Oh really.

- Here Mrs. Brown, and
while you're having

your fudge brownie sandwich,

I'll just step into your closet

and uh, knit a sweater.

What are you doing here?

- I was driving down
the street in my truck,

ringing the little bells,

when I just couldn't
help myself.

- Welcome to the club.

- Please, don't
breathe so heavily,

you're melting my ice cream bar.

(audience laughs)

(group argues)

- Put me down!

- Oh, now, now, now,
my little sugar plum.

The next time your twinkle
toes touch the Earth,

it won't be the Earth.

(comical orchestral flourish)

- But Martin, I have guests!

- You don't have to
worry about those bores

any longer Lorelei.

It will be you and
I among the stars!

- Oh Martin, you're so romantic.

- Uncle Martin, will
you wait, you can't!

- I'm sorry Tim,
but que sera, sera!

(audience laughs)

- Tim!

- Well, then you take
one, will you please!

- [Martin] Voila!

- Ouch!

Tim that hurt!

- I'm sorry Mrs. Brown!

It hurt!

Of course it hurt!

You're going to have
a headache Mrs. Brown,

a terrible headache, and I just
happen to have some aspirin.

Here take one, take two!

(audience laughs)

- Alright sugar
plum it's time we--

(musical punctuation)

Tim, what am I doing?

- [Brennan] Pussycat?

(magical music)

(magical music)

(wheels creek)

(magical music)

(magical music)

Pussycat!

You'll catch your death.

(musical punctuation)

What's going on here Lorelei?

- Oh Sweetbread, I don't think--

(musical punctuation)

say, do you realize
you haven't paid me

for them spare ribs?

- Well Tim, as Virgil said,

love conquers all ...

Most.

(audience laughs)

- Yeah, but poor Mrs. Brown.

You know, I think she's going
to miss that excitement,

all that attention.

- I think I have the
solution to that problem too.

- That's the spritz.

- Uh-hm, just
enough left, a drop,

just enough for
her to taper off.

(comical orchestral flourish)

(whimsical orchestral
theme music)