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1
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,681
- There's no doubt
about it, Tim.
2
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,617
I am beginning to show my age.
3
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:17,785
- You?
4
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,353
Oh, come on Uncle
Martin, you look great.
5
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,655
Why, you look a
lot better than...
6
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,492
Well, you look a
lot better than...
7
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,427
Come to think of it, I
don't know anyone else
8
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,496
who's 400 years old.
9
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,331
- Well, then you'll just
have to take my word for it.
10
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,666
I'm no longer the Martian
I used to be, Tim.
11
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:33,534
Ah.
12
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,170
And this is a very
serious matter, Tim,
13
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,506
because it is undoubtedly
due to the differential
14
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,574
in your time cycle.
15
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,310
Actually, I'm not
due for rejuvenation
16
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,378
for another 100 years.
17
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,046
- Rejuvenation?
18
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,782
- Yes, the process we
Martians use to keep us young.
19
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,119
It's a standard procedure
with our 500 year
20
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,721
or one billion mile checkup.
21
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,056
Seeing as I can't wait
until I get back home...
22
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,559
- You are going to
rejuvenate yourself?
23
00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,760
Now, and here?
24
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,096
With that gadget?
25
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:03,664
- Tim.
26
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,933
Calling this a gadget is like
calling Buckingham Palace
27
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,501
a track house.
28
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:11,439
This is a rejuvenation
bulb, model ZY13.
29
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,706
- How about that?
30
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,643
It's sort of a 110 watt
fountain of youth, huh?
31
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:16,577
How's it work?
32
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,112
- Oh, it's very simple, really.
33
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:20,814
I merely bathe myself in this
black light for four seconds.
34
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:21,749
- Black light?
35
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,251
- Exactly.
36
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,752
The absence of light rays,
plus a few other things
37
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:28,122
that you wouldn't understand,
invert the maturing process.
38
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:31,725
Which in turn revitalizes
every fiber of my being.
39
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,262
Now, if you'll be kind
enough to switch the lamp on,
40
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,131
Count to four, then
switch the lamp off,
41
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,899
I'll be as good as new.
42
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,535
And Tim, whatever you
do, don't switch it off
43
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,837
until after you count four.
44
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,206
- Well.
45
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,808
We Earth people may
not be very bright,
46
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:51,479
but I think we can
count to four, I think.
47
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:52,713
- All right then.
48
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:55,082
Point it toward
me, and turn it on.
49
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,116
- All right.
50
00:01:58,419 --> 00:01:59,453
That right?
51
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:00,321
- Okay.
52
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,696
- Well I'll be...
53
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:30,318
- [Martin] Well just
don't stand there, Tim.
54
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:31,185
Pick me up.
55
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,395
(beeping)
56
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:55,476
(mischievous music)
57
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,204
- I had to find a Martian
to become a mother.
58
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,739
What happened?
59
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,207
- [Martin] Obviously
you turned off the lamp
60
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,542
before the count of four.
61
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,444
- Well I did not turn it off.
62
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,513
I happened to kick out the cord.
63
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,014
See?
64
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,516
- [Martin] Nevertheless,
you extinguished the glow
65
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,318
of the black light before
the rejuvenation process
66
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:40,988
was completed, leaving me
in the infantile state.
67
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,089
- Yeah, well.
68
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,692
What am I supposed to do?
69
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:45,559
Adopt you?
70
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:48,329
Just one second.
71
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,063
I know you're a baby.
72
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,065
But you're talking.
73
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:53,066
I mean, I can hear you,
74
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,503
but your mouth isn't moving.
75
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:56,737
- [Martin] Tim, I'm an infant.
76
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,639
My vocal chords have yet
to function properly.
77
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:01,809
However, if you recall, I
told you Martian children
78
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:04,345
are born with complete
mental faculties.
79
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,047
Ergo, I'm speaking to
you through brain waves.
80
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,282
- Oh, yes.
81
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,284
Well of course,
that makes sense.
82
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:11,852
- [Martin] For heaven's sake,
prop me up on the couch,
83
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,253
focus the black light on me,
84
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,022
and put the plug back
into the wall socket
85
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:19,126
so I can return to my
own magnificent form.
86
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,193
- All right.
87
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,296
Your body may be smaller,
88
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:26,534
but your head is just
as big as it ever was.
89
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,836
- [Martin] Dispense with your
primitive Earthly sarcasm.
90
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,804
Please do as I say, and quickly.
91
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,240
- All right, all right, okay.
92
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,708
Well, I don't know.
93
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,044
There's something nice about
having a baby around the house.
94
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,547
The pitter-patter of tiny feet.
95
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,550
- [Martin] Tim, there is a time
for levity and a time for...
96
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:43,717
(knocking)
97
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:44,585
- Panic.
98
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,653
Who is it?
99
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,321
- Lieutenant Brennan.
100
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,757
(stuttering)
101
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,565
- Get smaller, hmm?
102
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,166
- Just me, O'Hara.
103
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,033
Is...
104
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,002
Well hello.
105
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,039
Is that a baby you're holding?
106
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,240
- A baby?
107
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:08,709
- Uh huh.
108
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,010
- Well so it is.
109
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,179
(laughing)
110
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,080
- Whose is it?
111
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:13,914
- Whose is it?
112
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,383
- Yes.
113
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,084
- Well, I found him.
114
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:19,286
- Found him?
115
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,521
- Yes.
116
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,189
Yes, you see, someone
left him on my doorstep,
117
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,558
and I'm taking care of him
until whoever he belongs to
118
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,594
comes back to get him.
119
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:27,995
Oh, feel that?
120
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,262
There seems to be a
terrible draft in the room.
121
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,532
Lieutenant, would you
mind closing the door,
122
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,133
preferably from the outside?
123
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,502
- Now just a minute, O'Hara.
124
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,704
Much as I dislike
coming to your aid,
125
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,238
I feel it is my
duty to inform you
126
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,574
that you could get into serious
trouble with the authorities
127
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,242
for not calling the police.
128
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,111
However, as long
as you cooperate.
129
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,613
- Cooperate?
130
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,949
- When a child is abandoned,
it becomes a ward of the city.
131
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,118
As an officer of the
law, I'll see to it
132
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,421
that he's turned over to
the juvenile authorities
133
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:54,688
at city hospital.
134
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,590
I'll take him now,
if you don't mind.
135
00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,058
Thank you.
136
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,993
- Well now, hold
just one second here.
137
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,362
I found him, and
it's finders keepers.
138
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,265
- And losers weepers,
start crying, O'Hara.
139
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:08,168
- Uncle Martin is not
going to like this.
140
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,237
- I thought there was
something more cheerful
141
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,905
about your apartment today.
142
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,340
Your uncle isn't here.
143
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,709
Where is he, and I
hope it's permanent?
144
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:18,045
- Well, let's just say,
145
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:21,715
he's wrapped up in
something right now.
146
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:26,554
- Well, when he gets back, do
tell him I didn't miss him.
147
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,955
- Oh Lieutenant, look.
148
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:31,024
Couldn't I just say
goodbye to the little tyke?
149
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,894
- Well, I suppose
it'd be all right.
150
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,963
I'd better check in
with headquarters anyway
151
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,331
and tell them where I'll be.
152
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,370
(dialing phone)
153
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,838
- All right, brilliant baby,
154
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,273
what do we do now?
155
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:47,508
- Get my rejuvenation bulb
156
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,409
and bring it down to
the hospital nursery.
157
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,480
We'll have to restore
me down there.
158
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:53,313
- Hello, Sergeant.
159
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:54,715
Lieutenant Brennan.
160
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,685
Look, I've got an abandoned
infant on my hands.
161
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,488
Don't ask me how, I'm taking
him down to the hospital.
162
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,856
Yeah, I'll check in with
you when I get there.
163
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:03,857
Right, bye.
164
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,195
Okay, O'Hara.
165
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,998
Time to go bye-bye.
166
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:13,801
Bye bye bye.
167
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:37,825
Chin up, little fella.
168
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:38,892
Don't cry.
169
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:42,162
They'll take good care of you.
170
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:46,366
I'll try to see you again
after I make out my report.
171
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,471
- [Woman] Dr. Warren,
go to 561 West.
172
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,941
Dr. Warren, 561 West, please.
173
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,984
(babies crying)
174
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,199
- Uncle Martin?
175
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,133
Uncle Martin?
176
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,802
- [Martin] Over here, Tim.
177
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:22,636
- Well where?
178
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,137
All of you look alike.
179
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,539
- [Martin] To your right,
the third crib from the end,
180
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:26,406
and hurry.
181
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:27,641
- One, two, three...
182
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:28,576
- [Martin] The noise
in here is shattering
183
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:29,710
my delicate sounding devices.
184
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,644
- Oh, that you?
185
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,812
- [Martin] Of course it's me.
186
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,081
Do I need blue
booties to prove it?
187
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,983
Did you bring the bulb?
188
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,484
- Yeah.
189
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,086
Yeah, I put it in the linen
closet just down the hallway.
190
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,954
Now don't worry, you'll
be back to your old self
191
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,323
before you can say
coochie coochie coo.
192
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,692
- [Martin] None too
soon to suit me,
193
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:45,926
I've never been so
mortified in my whole life.
194
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,695
Especially the ride down
here with that Brennan
195
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,130
playing with my
toes, tickling me.
196
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,398
- Oh yeah.
197
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,332
Hey, you know it's a
lucky thing for him
198
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,601
he didn't try to burp you.
199
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,303
- Unluckily for him, he did try.
200
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,973
- Put that baby back.
201
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:03,210
Why, you new fathers ought
to be ashamed of yourselves,
202
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,277
sneaking in here like this.
203
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:05,078
- New fathers?
204
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:05,913
New fathers.
205
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:06,747
- Yes.
206
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:07,581
- Oh yeah.
207
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,515
- Now out you go.
208
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,750
This nursery is off limits
209
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,118
to everyone except
doctors and nurses.
210
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:11,952
- You know--
211
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:12,786
- Out.
212
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,287
Out, go.
213
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:17,758
And don't let me catch
you in here again!
214
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,850
(knocking)
215
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,127
- The Carson baby's back.
216
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,162
Where shall I put him?
217
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,396
- Oh, put him in here,
218
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,066
and roll him down to the
beginning of the line.
219
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,100
- All right.
220
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,528
(whistles)
221
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,110
(babies crying)
222
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,129
- Nurse?
223
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,664
- Oh, I'm taking
him to his mother.
224
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:15,242
Just a few more feet, Uncle
Martin, and we're home free.
225
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:40,667
Okay.
226
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,106
There we go.
227
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,474
Okay.
228
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,676
One second 'til blast off.
229
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,689
One, two, three, four.
230
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,527
That ought to do it.
231
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:57,310
- Hi doc.
232
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,257
They'd like you in
obstetrics right away.
233
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,458
- Obstetrics?
234
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:12,292
- Mhmm.
235
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,294
They say it's important.
236
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,663
- Can't imagine what
they'd want me for.
237
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:20,767
Mind the store for me,
honey, I'll be right back.
238
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:26,840
- Uncle Martin?
239
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,341
Uncle Martin?
240
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,277
- [Martin] Over here, I'm
fourth from the end now.
241
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,012
- One, two, three, four.
242
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,280
Is that you this time?
243
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,381
- [Martin] It's me, they
moved in a new neighbor
244
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,315
to the head of the line.
245
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,383
- Oh, well that's just great.
246
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,885
Why didn't you tell me?
247
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,086
- Well I couldn't very well
248
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,487
announce the mistake
you were making.
249
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,654
How would you have
explained it to the nurse?
250
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:42,923
- How am I gonna explain
that six foot baby
251
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,157
I've got down there
in the linen closet?
252
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,158
- [Martin] Six feet?
253
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,659
- Well, only when he stands up.
254
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,296
Right now he's sitting on
the floor, sucking his thumb.
255
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,697
- [Martin] I was afraid of that.
256
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,665
On an infant earthling,
the rejuvenation bulb
257
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,735
advances him physiologically,
but not mentally.
258
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:58,138
We'll have to invert his
physical maturity right away.
259
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,506
Let's go.
260
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,441
(tapping)
261
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,742
- It's Brennan.
262
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,279
He wants to see me.
263
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,248
- Well for heaven's sake, get
rid of him before he sees you
264
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,283
for whom you really are.
265
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,089
- I'm Lieutenant Brennan.
266
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,959
I brought the abandoned
child in a little while ago.
267
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,760
I was wondering if I might
see the little fella again
268
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:21,962
before I left.
269
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,696
- I'm afraid not, it's
against the rules.
270
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,298
- Come now, I'm sure
it'll be all right,
271
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,300
it'll only take a minute.
272
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,469
Say, haven't I seen
you somewhere before?
273
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,837
- I don't think so.
274
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,340
Unless you were
one of our babies.
275
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,342
- I never forget a face.
276
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,977
I'm famed for that, you know.
277
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,946
Would you mind
taking off the mask?
278
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,314
- Is this the baby you want?
279
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,052
- Nobody wanted
me in obstetrics.
280
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,454
What is this, Union Station?
281
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,856
How many times have
I told you fathers
282
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,959
that you're not
allowed in the nursery?
283
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,061
- [Brennan] I am not
the child's father.
284
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,396
- [Nurse] All right, so
you're the first male mother
285
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,931
in medical science.
286
00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,566
But it doesn't give you the
right to come in the nursery
287
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,634
and pick up the babies.
288
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,470
- [Brennan] I didn't pick it up.
289
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,039
The nurse picked it up
and handed it to me.
290
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:09,076
- Sure, she's just
giving them away.
291
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,579
- What luck.
292
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,047
You know for a minute,
I thought we'd had it?
293
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:14,847
- [Martin] Tim, luck is
very much like a neon sign,
294
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,316
it flickers on and off.
295
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:19,119
Now let's get our work
done while it's still on.
296
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:19,987
- Yeah.
297
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:30,530
Uncle Martin?
298
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:31,731
- [Martin] Yes?
299
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,900
- Our neon sign
just flickered off.
300
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,934
- [Martin] What?
301
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,670
- Junior Giant is gone.
302
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,639
Look, see for yourself.
303
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,943
Uncle Martin, I think
you better find yourself
304
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,512
another babysitter.
305
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,015
This is a hospital,
I'm gonna be sick.
306
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,183
- [Martin] Pull
yourself together, this
is no time to panic.
307
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,818
- Well it's time for me, and
I don't care if it's standard
308
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,453
or daylight savings.
309
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:57,024
What's gonna happen if they
find that overgrown thumb sucker
310
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,658
crawling around the woodwork?
311
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:01,094
- Well, perhaps we can
find him first if we hurry.
312
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,063
Uh oh, Brennan's coming.
313
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,431
Is the door closed?
314
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,298
- Yeah.
315
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,137
- You just point
that nurse out to me
316
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,804
and I'll get to
the bottom of this.
317
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,706
- You mean we'll get
to the bottom of this.
318
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,543
There are a few questions
I'd like to ask her.
319
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,711
Call it police instinct, but
there's something peculiar
320
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:21,148
going on around here.
321
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:21,981
- [Martin] Well, you heard him.
322
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,183
- Heard him, I felt him,
323
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,117
he was breathing
right down my neck.
324
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,318
- [Martin] Don't be selfish.
325
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,653
He's breathing
down mine as well.
326
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,121
That uniform you're
wearing would take
327
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:29,589
quite a bit of explaining.
328
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,824
I suggest you get back into
civvies as rapidly as possible.
329
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,326
- Well what about you?
330
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,228
And how about the
jolly young giant?
331
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,030
- [Martin] Simply turn the
black light on as you leave.
332
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,965
As soon as I return
to my self-like self,
333
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,433
I'll shut it off.
334
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:43,036
Then we'll rejoin forces,
locate and rejuvenate junior.
335
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,837
- Well okay, but I
hope you're not talking
336
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,206
through your rattle.
337
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,940
- [Martin] Tim, trust me.
338
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:52,145
Out of the mouths of Martian
babes comes know-how.
339
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,460
(whistles)
340
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:08,495
- Hello there.
341
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,263
- Well, hello.
342
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,998
Are you one of the new doctors?
343
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:12,832
- Mhmm.
344
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:13,666
Specialist.
345
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,767
- Interesting.
346
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,269
What do you specialize in?
347
00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:17,404
- Oh, how about young nurses?
348
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,971
Young, beautiful nurses.
349
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,507
- Oh.
350
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:24,844
Well if I can assist you in
any way, doctor, just yell.
351
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:25,712
- Help.
352
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:28,915
Oh, I would like to discuss
353
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:31,718
some operating
procedures with you.
354
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:40,293
- Before you start making
house calls, doctor,
355
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:41,928
we do have an emergency here.
356
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,130
- Eavesdropper.
357
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,431
What are you doing
in that getup?
358
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,299
- We Martians have
excellent figures,
359
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,434
but I doubt if it
would be appreciated,
360
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,935
my showing it off in a diaper.
361
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,903
That was all I was wearing
at the time, remember?
362
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,139
- Oh.
363
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,406
- Besides.
364
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,707
I had to get into the
administration office
365
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,409
and remove my record
from the file.
366
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:59,246
Once we leave here, the
records and the nursery count
367
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,680
must tally.
368
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,049
Now, don't you suppose we better
go and try to find junior?
369
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,151
- Yeah, yeah.
370
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,552
Where do we start?
371
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,388
- Well as I once said
to Conan Doyle, when I
372
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,622
(clears throat)
373
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,191
helped him create
Sherlock Holmes,
374
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,493
everything is a
matter of deduction.
375
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:17,697
Now, what does a baby want
most besides its mother?
376
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:20,567
- His father.
377
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,370
- Food.
378
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,738
And if a small infant
is always hungry,
379
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,340
imagine what hunger pains
380
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:30,710
an infant the size
of junior feels.
381
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,011
- The commissary!
382
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,546
- Congratulations, sir.
383
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:36,883
You have just won yourself
five pounds of wet cement.
384
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,852
(laughing)
385
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,921
- Five pounds of wet cement.
386
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,223
I don't get it.
387
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,812
- Will you look at him
guzzle that cow juice?
388
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,314
- Naturally.
389
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,849
His fuel capacity has gone
from a small economy car
390
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,818
to that of a limousine.
391
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,567
- You know, I've heard of babies
who are big for their age,
392
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,702
but this is ridiculous.
393
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,204
Ridiculous.
394
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,573
Can't we just get him to
crawl back to the closet?
395
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:34,807
- I'm surprised at you, Tim.
396
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,209
A little exercise like
this, wearing out a man
397
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:38,678
who survived a
three-hour watusi session
398
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,080
at the Expresso-A-Go-Go.
399
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:41,948
- Goo goo.
400
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,684
- Goo goo yourself.
401
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,726
Okay, in you go, that's a baby.
402
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,894
- Brennan, he's back again.
403
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,329
- That guy must work on a yo-yo.
404
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,297
- He's coming around the corner.
405
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,932
Quick, close the door.
406
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,468
- Back baby, back.
407
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,311
- O'Hara.
408
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,113
Well, this is an
unpleasant surprise.
409
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,615
What are you doing here?
410
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,450
- Well, I was just
looking for a story.
411
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,319
You never know where you're
gonna find one, Lieutenant.
412
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,287
Which reminds me.
413
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,988
What are you doing here?
414
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:25,425
I suppose someone
tipped you off?
415
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,561
That there's a crocked
hypodermic needle in the place?
416
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,730
- Very sharp today.
417
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,565
- Get the point?
418
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:36,269
- But your feeble attempt
at humor doesn't fool me.
419
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:38,104
There's something going on here,
420
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:41,708
and you and your uncle are
always around when it is.
421
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,610
What is it, O'Hara?
422
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,878
I'll find out sooner or later.
423
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,380
Well, O'Hara?
424
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:50,016
- I haven't the slightest notion
425
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,484
of what you're talking about.
426
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,420
- Now see here, O'Hara.
427
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:55,822
First I find you with a baby,
428
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,157
which you did not report
to the authorities.
429
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,692
- [Tim] Lieutenant?
430
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,562
- Then I run into a nurse
who no one seems to know
431
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:06,098
and we can't find, and
then you show up...
432
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:08,234
O'Hara.
433
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,571
- Ah, O'Hara.
434
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,440
- Oh good day, doctor?
435
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:14,974
- Yeah, yeah, I give
you that interview
436
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,743
you wanted on modern medicine.
437
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,411
Just as soon as
the baby arrives.
438
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,346
- Baby's arriving?
439
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,980
- Yeah, don't you hear a stork?
440
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:23,450
He's in there,
flapping his wings.
441
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:26,319
- I hope it's on
schedule, doctor.
442
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,623
- Now, see here, O'Hara.
443
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:32,925
(baby crying)
444
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,461
- Yeah, right on schedule.
445
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:35,662
Ah, you come with me now,
446
00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:36,629
I'll give you the
story that you wanted.
447
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:37,997
Come to the nursery room.
448
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:38,965
- Yeah doc.
449
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:43,570
- I'll be a monkey...
450
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:47,073
- Were you speaking to me?
451
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,375
- Hmm?
452
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:51,344
Oh, no, I was just
talking to myself.
453
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,047
- Here, Tim, hold the baby.
454
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,468
- I never heard of a
baby delivered that fast.
455
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:18,204
- You saw a baby
delivered out here?
456
00:22:18,237 --> 00:22:19,071
- Oh, no.
457
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:21,340
In there.
458
00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:22,174
- Oh, in here.
459
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:23,876
In the linen closet.
460
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,980
- But that was
the delivery room.
461
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:28,848
- Now now.
462
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,318
Everything will be all right.
463
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,421
We're your friends and
we're here to help.
464
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:36,222
- But you don't understand.
465
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:38,491
The doctor walked in.
466
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:41,628
And I distinctly
heard a baby crying.
467
00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:45,632
- You know Uncle Martin,
even for a Martian,
468
00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:47,166
you're a genius.
469
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,668
- Thank you for the
compliment, Tim.
470
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:52,805
But then again, you don't
know any other Martians.
471
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:56,509
- Coochie coochie coochie.
472
00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:04,917
(knocking)
473
00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:15,795
O'Hara.
474
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,296
- Detective Brennan.
475
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:18,765
Tim said he'd heard you'd
had a nervous breakdown
476
00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:20,266
at the hospital.
477
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:22,034
I'm delighted to see that
you've recovered so rapidly.
478
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:23,703
- Spare me the
kind words, O'Hara,
479
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,338
and get that nephew of yours
out here on the double.
480
00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:27,740
- Of course.
481
00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,776
Tim, you have a visitor.
482
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:33,412
- Who is it, Uncle Martin?
483
00:23:33,446 --> 00:23:35,147
Well, Lieutenant Brennan.
484
00:23:35,181 --> 00:23:36,649
Are you feeling any better?
485
00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:38,718
- Stop with all the
solicitude for my health
486
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,787
and tell me what
you're trying to pull!
487
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:42,121
- Temper, temper,
temper, Lieutenant.
488
00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:43,355
Mustn't lose your self control.
489
00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:44,891
You could have a relapse.
490
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,325
- O'Hara.
491
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,461
Where did that baby come from?
492
00:23:48,495 --> 00:23:49,929
- Well I told you when
you first came here.
493
00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:51,831
He was abandoned.
494
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:54,901
- I'm talking about the
baby in the linen closet.
495
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,936
- Oh, he is having a relapse.
496
00:23:56,969 --> 00:23:59,005
- Don't relapse me,
that baby was real
497
00:23:59,038 --> 00:24:01,774
and so was that
nurse, and the...
498
00:24:03,142 --> 00:24:05,144
(laughs)
499
00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:08,515
I thought she looked familiar.
500
00:24:09,716 --> 00:24:10,817
Go ahead, O'Hara.
501
00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:11,784
Deny it.
502
00:24:11,818 --> 00:24:13,085
- Deny what?
503
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,353
Deny what?
504
00:24:14,386 --> 00:24:16,288
- [Brennan] Who this
uniform belongs to.
505
00:24:16,322 --> 00:24:18,424
- Why that belongs to me.
506
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:22,795
- Yours?
507
00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:24,230
- Yes.
508
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:27,967
Yes, it's part of the new
Medicare program, for the young.
509
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,301
Uncle Martin.
510
00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:30,870
Uncle Martin.
511
00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,639
Uncle Martin.
512
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:34,440
Don't wait up for
me tonight, hmm?
513
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,644
You see, we will be
operating tonight.
514
00:24:44,183 --> 00:24:46,352
- You know something, O'Hara?
515
00:24:46,385 --> 00:24:49,121
There are times I could scream.
516
00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:50,823
I could just scream.
517
00:24:52,024 --> 00:24:55,595
- I know exactly what
you mean, Lieutenant.
518
00:24:58,130 --> 00:25:01,133
(mischievous music)
35893
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