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1
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,080
Look, I've decided to do a month off
the booze.
2
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,320
Oh, really?
3
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,720
What? You don't think I can do it?
4
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,520
No, no. I don't want you to make
yourself miserable because you feel
5
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,680
like you need to apologise.
6
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,520
That's not going to be a
factor either way.
7
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,360
I'll be miserable whether
I drink or not.
8
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,440
The point is that I've said
I'm going to do it,
9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,120
so I'm going to do it. And I want
to do it and I can do it.
10
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,920
So, you'll see me do it.
Well, that's great.
11
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,440
Yeah. It is. Sorry this can't
be helping, so...
12
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,640
Oh, right, I better go.
13
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,320
Got that work social.
Oh, yeah. What is it again?
14
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,760
Crazy golf, AKA drinking
overpriced cocktails.
15
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,360
whilst men show off about being able
to tap a ball into a clam's mouth,
16
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,560
which is important for
bonding, apparently.
17
00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,480
What are you going to
do tonight, then?
18
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,720
Well, my lot are all off for a
curry. Great. Nah. They'll all be
drinking. It'll be depressing.
19
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,840
Why don't you go and do something
else, sociable and fun
20
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,040
that doesn't need you to have drink?
21
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,400
Like what? You know
Claire's boyfriend, Finn?
22
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,600
Yeah. He's in that men's
cookery club.
23
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,480
I think this week they're doing
steaks, then next week they're doing
24
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,400
a chicken cooked
on a non-alcoholic beer can.
25
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,840
I'll go for the curry. Bye.
26
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,800
Well, have fun. I'll miss you.
27
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,880
I'll miss you. Love you. Love you.
28
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,200
Have a good night.
29
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,760
VOICEOVER: It's probably been about
15 years since I went a
30
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,240
Friday night without drinking.
31
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,920
Except for that time last
year I had gastroenteritis
32
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,240
and couldn't get out of bed.
33
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,280
And even then, I had a couple of
Tyskies just to take the edge off.
34
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:49,560
To go out on a Friday and not drink
and seem happy and talk to people.
35
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,720
How the fuck are you
supposed to do that?
36
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,080
Where does it come from,
37
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,920
this idea, this
conviction that Fridays
38
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,040
are for nothing but drinking?
39
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,560
# Well, well, well. #
40
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,400
It's eerily reminiscent
of those pre-booze days.
41
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,880
Me and my mates round
Craggy's playing PS2,
42
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,840
bored as fuck.
43
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,480
Fuck sake.
44
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,160
Another fucking Friday
with nowt happening.
45
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,000
Nah, it's fucking shit.
46
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,520
Come on, lads.
47
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,560
There's loads of fun stuff
we could do tonight.
48
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:25,680
Like what?
49
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,280
We can stay in and play Tekken,
50
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,920
you know, or stay in and play FIFA,
51
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,440
or stay in and play Metal Gear.
52
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,520
Addy, they're all the same option,
mate.
53
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,520
Stay in and play the same
shitty PS2 game we've completed
54
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:38,880
about eight times.
55
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,080
VOICES OUTSIDE DOOR
56
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,520
I aren't lying. I'm sorry, but
I just don't believe you.
57
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,000
Kayleigh, I aren't lying, I swear.
Cragg, give us that plug.
58
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,640
What you doing, Lucy?
59
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,240
I just said I'm using the plug,
Cragg, for my hair straightener.
60
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,920
Stop calling me Cragg.
Why? It's your name, innit?
61
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,200
You don't call your own
brother by his surname.
62
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,960
Call me Tom. Shut up, Cragg.
63
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,880
At least give me a bit of that
vodka in exchange.
64
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,160
Eh, I aren't giving you vodka,
you'd be on the floor?
65
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,280
And anyway, I've got plugs
in my own room, you know?
66
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,480
Don't need to use yours.
67
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,920
Well, why are you in here, then?
68
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:09,240
Because I don't want to be sitting
in a room full of hairspray, do I?
69
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,720
Right, where we are
we off tonight then?
70
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,200
Right, let's go Mint, then Space,
then Buzz, then Heaven And Hell,
71
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,280
then Baha, then Bondi.
72
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,680
No, no, no. Let's go Birdcage,
then Flares, then Baha,
73
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,000
then Mint, then back to
Birdcage, then Mission.
74
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,560
Then we get a taxi to Wakefield
and go to Buzz. Then we get a taxi
75
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,560
back to Leeds, walk about and
then Majestic.
76
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,560
All right, sick! Does my skirt
look all right like this?
77
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,320
Yeah. It looks well nice, love.
78
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,800
SPEAKS UNINTELLIGIBLY
79
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,840
Well, that's proper weird that.
80
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,800
What are your crossing your legs
for? Just cos.
81
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,640
You've got a boner, haven't you?
82
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,320
No. Who's got a boner?
83
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,880
Ralf. I haven't.
You dirty little bastard.
84
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,080
I don't have a boner.
I was just crossing my legs.
85
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,400
You've never crossed your legs
in your fucking life.
86
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,120
Why all of a sudden are you doing it
now? I've wanted to try it.
87
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,120
Cragg, your mates are
fucking disgusting.
88
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,560
KAYLEIGH: Dirty old bastard.
89
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,080
I can't fucking take
this, me. Come on.
90
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,000
I can't take another
Friday night like this.
91
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,320
That's ruined my night, that.
I can't go out now.
92
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,120
I know, it's so disgusting. That's
proper immature, right, get out.
93
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,080
# Taskmaster burst
the bionic zit-splitter
94
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,560
# Breakneck speed we
drown ten pints of bitter... #
95
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,640
Get your lob on away from me.
96
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,560
Fuck it, lads.
97
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,000
Let's just get pissed.
98
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,440
You say that every Friday,
Craggy, and you never manage to
99
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,760
cos you can't get no booze.
100
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,920
What was going to be
different this time?
101
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,440
Our collective drinking
experience was very limited.
102
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:26,200
Addy, as a Muslim, had never tried
alcohol at all because intoxicants
103
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,520
are proscribed by the Koran.
104
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,840
He did smoke, though, because
smoking isn't explicitly haram,
105
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:33,480
which means forbidden.
106
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:37,200
Although, I believe that some Muslim
scholars do consider smoking haram
107
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,480
on the basis...eh, this isn't
relevant to this story,
108
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,200
really, is it?
109
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,400
No wonder Craggy
felt desperate to drink.
110
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,840
Everybody did.
111
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:48,440
The week only made sense
because of Friday night
112
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,240
and Friday night only made
sense because of booze.
113
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,920
New Labour introduced 24-hour
alcohol licensing on the premise
114
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,280
that it would bring CAFE culture
to Britain and post-industrial
115
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,640
Northern towns would suddenly
become like Paris.
116
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:05,120
Tough on binge, tough
on the causes of binge.
117
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,320
Have you had some vodka?
Have you had some wine?
118
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,240
I've got to say this, all right.
119
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:14,280
My greatest and only dream in life
is to, one day, get pissed.
120
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,360
And I believe that with
determination,
121
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,120
that day can be today.
122
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,800
Basically, I just want
to get battered.
123
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,640
Yes, Craggy. You legend.
124
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,240
I'm with you, man,
tonight's the night.
125
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,800
Liam.
126
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,440
We're going to get smashed, boys.
127
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,880
Well, it'll only take one sip cos
you're a fucking girl.
128
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,720
Shut up, you silly prick.
Put your hand in.
129
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,520
Lads, I'm going to put my hand in
too, but only halfway,
130
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:40,520
cos I'm not going to get pissed, but
I am going to watch you lot get
pissed.
131
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,920
That still counts.
ALL: One, two, three. Wey!
132
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,160
So, that's where it started for me,
133
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,200
the idea that drink is
everything on a Friday night.
134
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,080
And now, I can't be in this kind
of environment sober.
135
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:58,040
I'm always at my most charming, fun
and likeable when I've had a drink.
136
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,840
# I get knocked down,
but I get up again
137
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,040
# You are never going to keep me
down
138
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,080
# I get knocked... #
139
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,320
That teenage night was a lot
like this one.
140
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,360
Booze, booze everywhere,
but not a drop to drink.
141
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,160
Are you going to ask one
of them, Craggy?
142
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,200
Ask this guy coming down now.
143
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:17,240
Try him, try him.
144
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,240
You can ask him, you're the
confident one.
145
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,000
Excuse me. Will you go into the shop
and get us some booze, please?
146
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,560
It's not for me.
It's for my grandad.
147
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,880
He's broken his hip.
I mean, he's 75.
148
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,280
He can't really get out and that.
149
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,320
He just wants a drink on
a Friday night.
150
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,440
Yeah, all right. What does he want?
151
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,240
12 Bottle of WKD. Blue, please.
152
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,760
Nice try.
153
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,120
For fuck's sake.
154
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,160
Here. Do you know who
we should ask? Who?
155
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,120
Old Larry Metcalf.
156
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,040
Who the hell is old Larry Metcalf?
157
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,640
Larry. You know Larry. He's that
bloke who'll buy anyone booze.
158
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,760
He don't give two fucks
how old you are.
159
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,720
And he only lives round the corner.
160
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,960
Just cos he buys booze for kids
don't make him a paedo.
161
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,920
It's a slippery slope,
though, innit?
162
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,320
I've got a better idea.
163
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,680
# Cos right now,
I see clearer than most
164
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,120
# I sit here contending
with this cheese on toast... #
165
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,600
SHOP DOORBELL RINGS
166
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,160
Did you get served?
167
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,400
Does it look like it?
168
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,480
Thought you might have stashed it in
them clown pockets that you've got.
169
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,520
This is my dead uncle's
suit, you little prick.
170
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,480
What did he dies of,
being fucking huge? No.
171
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,360
He slipped and cracked his
head in the shower.
172
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,360
Didn't feel a thing, apparently.
173
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,840
That's how I want to go.
174
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,600
Oh, shit. Look.
175
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,840
Come on, let's go.
176
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,200
Let's be gone, boys. Ralph.
177
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,560
Come on now.
178
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,080
Nah, fuck that.
179
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,200
Now then, Ralph.
180
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,680
Will you buy us some booze?
181
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,280
You what?
182
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,960
Will you buy us some booze?
183
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,720
What's just happened there, Tinhead?
184
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,960
Ralph just asked you to buy him
booze, Rupert. What?
185
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,240
Ralph, who got battered a couple of
weeks back for being
186
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,200
a mouthy little prick and not
knowing his place?
187
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,480
You're asking me, Whitey's mate,
to buy him some booze?
188
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,000
Yeah, blagshead, that? How do you
feel about that, Tinhead?
189
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,600
I don't know. How do you feel about
it, Rupert? I think it's funny.
190
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,960
I think it's real funny.
191
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,400
I think it's proper funny.
192
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,720
Ha-ha-ha! Cheeky little prick,
asking me to buy you booze.
193
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,560
Cheeky. Takes some real stones.
194
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,960
Yeah, let's have a look at
that shiner.
195
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,680
That's a beauty that, lad. Look at
that, Tinhead. Oh, it's a proper
nice one that.
196
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:40,360
Yeah, it's gorgeous, innit? All the
yellows and blues and that.
197
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:44,320
Why does it do that, Tinhead? It's
due to the breakdown of haemoglobin.
198
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,480
You just know shit like that,
Tinhead, you know, it's mad.
199
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,200
Right, now then, boys.
200
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,560
Hey, Craggy.
201
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,640
Well done for making an effort
to look smart on Friday night, mate.
202
00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,800
Like a proper little mogul
and that, don't he?
203
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,240
Don't he look like a mogul,
Tinhead? Exactly like a mogul.
204
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,200
Yeah, a proper mogul man.
205
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,920
Right, so you want us to buy some
drinks, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, if you
will.
206
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,960
All right. What you want then?
207
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,920
WKD. Cider. Fanta Lemon.
208
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,280
Tell you what?
209
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,240
I'll take your money and I'll pick
for you, lads, all right?
210
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,400
Fucking hell, I feel like the guy
out of Oliver Twist,
211
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,840
all the orphans. Fagan. Fagan.
212
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,480
I feel like Fagan,
to be honest, Tinhead.
213
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,480
Come on, mate.
Let's get you a drink.
214
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,880
# Scumbag, scum of the Earth,
his worth was nil
215
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,760
# Until he gained the skill
of tongues
216
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,080
# From 15 years young... #
217
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,120
SHOP DOOR BELL
Thank you. Get off.
218
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,960
They're for me and Tinhead.
219
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,360
We got this for you.
220
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,440
Green Danger cider?
221
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,960
What's this?
222
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,360
Cider is fermented from apples.
223
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,080
Yeah, I know. It's
just not what we wanted.
224
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,040
We don't always get what you
want, do you, Ralph?
225
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,280
So, did you get that with our money?
226
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,040
Craggy, look.
227
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,480
Such a little mogul, aren't you?
You're always talking about money.
228
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,920
So, what then, boys?
Are you all big men now, yeah?
229
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,600
Getting pissed up and that, yeah?
230
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:18,640
How's about you come get blinder
with us in Gibbs Woods tonight?
231
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,800
Erm, will Whitey be there?
232
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,640
Like, he's been away for a bit,
all right.
233
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,080
Won't be seeing you around this
town for a bit.
234
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,440
Where's he gone? I can't tell you.
235
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,560
Whitey moved to Blackpool to
do a hotel catering course.
236
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:36,240
Right. So then, boys.
237
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,600
Get in't car,
and erm, squeeze in't boot.
238
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,240
I should have gone home.
239
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,120
Why did I come to the pub?
240
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,680
It's a stone-cold piss-up up and
I'm the only one who is sober.
241
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:54,000
Except for Mikey Potts, who doesn't
drink at all and is the happiest
242
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,120
person I know.
243
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,480
I like a bit of water.
That's all I need.
244
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,880
Freak. I'm having a baby!
245
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,800
What? Someone's having a baby?
246
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,960
Oh, yeah. I guess that does make
sense as we are all over 30 now.
247
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,040
Oh, man.
248
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,600
Here comes the champagne.
249
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,560
I don't even like champagne
that much anyway.
250
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,520
Shouldn't be too difficult
to say no to them.
251
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,800
Mate, can I get you a pint?
Oh, no.
252
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,960
Wait! Yes.
253
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,280
Yeah.
254
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,360
All right.
Cheers, mate.
255
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,160
We joined Rupert, Tinhead
and their gang in the woods,
256
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,680
which was really just a small
thicket full of litter
257
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,040
at the back of the park,
258
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,400
the kind of place that serves mainly
as scenery for adults driving past,
259
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,160
which you're not really supposed
to go into.
260
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,800
Oh, shit.
261
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,040
Rachel's here.
262
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,040
Hey, how's my hair looking?
263
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,560
It's, like, gelled flat down
and plastered in place
264
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,080
with weird, greasy
flicking bits down on your forehead.
265
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,840
Oh, good.
266
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,120
So, who wants some cider, then?
I will.
267
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,120
Do the honours.
268
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,080
HE COUGHS
It's really nice, that, it's well
smooth.
269
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,320
Give it here.
Goes down like a treat.
270
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,600
The vibe here was very intimidating.
271
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,200
Had we been brought to the woods
just to make Rupert and Co
272
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,200
feel bigger and harder and funnier
273
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,600
and generally better about
themselves?
274
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,200
Should we go over there, boys?
275
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,760
Anyone want a beer or what?
276
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,880
Let me just have another sip of
that.
277
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,600
But then a strange thing happened.
278
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,360
The cider hit us like a losers'
elixir
279
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:30,200
and we were scared, embarrassed,
self-conscious no more.
280
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,120
Rupert! You robbing bastard!
281
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,120
You kept his change, didn't you,
you cheeky twat?
282
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,960
I've knocked your drink over. Sorry!
283
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,720
Are you going to share that?
284
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,920
Can I have some of that?
285
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,200
We talked of common interests.
286
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,640
What's your favourite wall to sit
on in town?
287
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,600
Offy wall.
288
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,280
Yes, mate!
289
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,520
I love it!
Beautiful wall, that, innit?
290
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,960
This was good, simple fun
and bonding.
291
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,480
It was like bass lines, yeah?
292
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,720
Yeah. Yeah.
293
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,040
This is a sick wobbler!
294
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,680
MUSIC PLAYS
295
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,400
Wobbler, mate!
296
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,480
Wobbler!
297
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,400
But the cider and the situation
298
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,240
were making some things
more complicated.
299
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:22,760
Got owt you want to say to me?
I dunno!
300
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:24,960
Are you all right?
301
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,520
Yeah, I'm all right.
How's your shiner?
302
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:31,920
It's all right.
303
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,760
Named it after you.
304
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,080
What's that supposed to mean?
305
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,520
Oh, nowt, no.
306
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,720
It were just a joke.
307
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,000
There ain't no jokes in the game
we play, Ralph.
308
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,840
Soz, I were just trying...
Look, Ralph.
309
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,840
You can't just walk back into my
life with a beautiful new hairstyle
310
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,480
and expect me to forgive you.
311
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,440
I'm still fucking pissed off,
to be honest.
312
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,200
Why? You know full well why.
I don't.
313
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,160
Well, come back to me
when you do know.
314
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,880
For fuck's sake.
315
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:11,520
Rachel and a few others left
and suddenly the mood felt darker.
316
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,960
Have yous lot finished all that
cider, yeah?
317
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,520
Yeah. All of it?
318
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,080
Wow. Want some vodka, then, yeah?
319
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,480
Yeah.
320
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,400
Go on, then, big man.
321
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,760
Have some. Get it down ya.
322
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,560
Go on, then, Will Maggot, your turn.
323
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,520
What?
324
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,560
Get it down.
325
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,040
Go on, then, Craggy.
326
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,040
Go on, keep going, keep going.
327
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,920
You not want some, Addy?
328
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,480
No, no, I'm good, cheers.
I've had ice pops so I'm all right.
329
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,320
Is that cos you're a fucking mozzie,
yeah?
330
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,520
Is it?
331
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,440
Hey, bang out of order, that,
Rupert.
332
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,880
Right, I'm messing with him.
333
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,000
Yeah, he knows I'm messing
him, don't you?
334
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,960
You know I'm messing with you,
Addy? Don't you?
335
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,960
No, it's cos I'm...
336
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,280
I only drink curry-flavoured
vodka, Rupert.
337
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:23,080
You see? He knows how to
have a laugh, this lad!
338
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,920
Yeah, he knows it's only banter!
Don't you, Addy?
339
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:29,320
He knows it! Ha-ha! That was a
good one.
340
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,960
That was a good one, that, Addy.
341
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,320
Even at this age,
I knew abuse masquerading as banter
342
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,840
when I saw it,
343
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:40,600
which is why I went over there
and put an arm around Addy.
344
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,840
Fuck's sake.
345
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,720
Why did I say yes to the pint?
346
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,400
I'm already feeling bad about it,
but when I'm having the pint,
347
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,160
I'll feel good, but then afterwards,
I'll feel bad.
348
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,960
It's a catch-22.
349
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,560
Maybe that's not a catch-22.
350
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,440
I don't know, I can't think
properly in here.
351
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,320
I mean, look at it!
352
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,440
SIREN WAILS
It's the pigs!
353
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,520
THEY SHOUT
354
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,520
HE PANTS
355
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,360
There you go, mate! Oh, cheers, man.
356
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,800
PHONE BEEPS
357
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,280
I've actually got to go.
What about the...?
358
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,160
I'll Monzo you for it.
359
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,880
I don't have Monzo. Neither do I.
360
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,480
What was I even doing here?
361
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,360
It's too loud to talk to anyone.
362
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,720
These nights always just end up
363
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,920
with a colossal dent
in your bank balance,
364
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,960
a raging hangover
and sometimes a self-esteem crisis
365
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,840
after you've embarrassed yourself
in a way
366
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,320
that you now can't even
remember the details of.
367
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,680
NB, I was completely
battered by this point.
368
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,840
So what follows is an approximation
of a memory, really,
369
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,960
rather than a totally reliable one.
370
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:57,200
That was fucking sick, mate.
Tomorrow...
371
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,760
It's just going to be back to normal
fucking life, innit?
372
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,320
You know what, Craggy, mate?
373
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,240
Tomorrow is not what we are in.
374
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,080
We are....
375
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,040
That was fucking...
376
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,200
You're my mate. All right, lad.
377
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,760
You're my mate. All right, lad.
378
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,560
No, but seriously, though,
I fucking...
379
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,600
I love you lot.
380
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,200
Sometimes I don't think you know it
381
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,440
cos you don't think I'm one
of the lads,
382
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,040
you think I'm a fucking
geek or whatever.
383
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,120
Oh, no, we love you for it, man.
384
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,680
We love you for it.
385
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,360
Eh, Ralph, you love Rachel, right?
386
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,400
Yeah.
387
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,200
She loves you too, mate.
No, she doesn't.
388
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,960
Why would she have such a massive
fucking go at me today?
389
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,360
She did.
390
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,000
Cos she loves ya!
391
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,440
I agree with that.
392
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,320
Are you all right, Addy?
393
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:06,760
To be honest, I was a bit fucking
upset about what happened earlier.
394
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,160
I appreciate you lot trying to
help and that, but...
395
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,160
It's not fucking on, man.
396
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,280
I didn't choose to move
to this town.
397
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,720
My dad made us come here for his job
so we can have more money
398
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,600
and a better life and that, but...
399
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,400
Nights like tonight...
400
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,440
..make me wish I was still in
Dewsbury.
401
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,440
It was hard to know what to say
to this,
402
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,920
but I'd like to think
I managed something
403
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,160
to offer Addy some solace.
404
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,080
Addy, what happened tonight was
completely not on.
405
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,680
I'm sorry that you have
to experience this idiotic
406
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,880
and intolerant behaviour.
407
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,240
This is a society that for the most
part is good and tolerant.
408
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,320
But, yes, those that are bigoted
and intolerant manage
409
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,800
to make their voices loudest.
410
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,880
OK.
411
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,080
I think I might have slightly
romanticised this memory
412
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,240
in my own favour.
413
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,200
And this is only going to get
worse in a few years
414
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,920
after the global financial
crisis.... OK. Yeah.
415
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,880
Total fabrication.
416
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,400
I guess Addy was left
to find his own solace.
417
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,200
It's all right, lads.
418
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,440
I'm glad you guys had a good night,
anyway.
419
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,720
Come 'ere!
420
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,160
THEY LAUGH
421
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,120
I suppose Addy was right.
422
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,800
Being hammered allowed us to open
up and share with each other,
423
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,960
and this established a pattern
of behaviour
424
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,120
I've repeated every weekend
for 15 years
425
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,880
in search of adventure
and confidence and connection.
426
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,880
But there must be other ways
to connect with people
427
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,160
on a Friday night.
428
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,760
Here we are.
429
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,800
Here we have the boys, your new
boys, your new friends, James.
430
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,680
Give him a big hug, James.
431
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:52,280
It's in his hatch.
432
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,040
THEY LAUGH
433
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,160
Well, it's almost midnight.
434
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,320
And in just under a minute,
435
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,000
I will have completed
a month without drinking.
436
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,320
Wow!
437
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,560
It's been a really interesting
experiment.
438
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:14,280
I've learned so much about myself,
about life, about our culture.
439
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,640
And you know what?
440
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,840
I'm really glad that I did it.
441
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,320
I feel fresh.
442
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:27,360
I feel healthy, I feel ready
for life revived and renewed
443
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:33,240
and refreshed and...
444
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,880
because...um...
445
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,280
MICROWAVE TINGS
446
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:44,960
Smashed it.
447
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:48,960
Well earned.
448
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,760
# Witness the fitness
449
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,400
# The Cruffiton liveth
450
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,080
# One hope, one quest
451
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,760
# Witness the fitness
452
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,440
# The Cruffiton liveth
453
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,160
# One hope, one quest
454
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,880
# Witness the fitness
455
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,680
# The Cruffiton liveth
456
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,280
# One hope, one quest
457
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,080
# Witness the fitness
458
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,080
# The Cruffiton liveth
459
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,880
# One hope, one quest... #
36268
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