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1
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,720
Yeah. Yeah, I'm back. Yeah.
2
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,120
I've been away three months, you know.
3
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,040
So, I've just been doing
the reunions, innit?
4
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,480
Candice is bae, so obviously I've just
been round to surprise her and that.
5
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,640
[squeals excitedly]
6
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,160
Welcome back.
7
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,040
Yeah, she was really, really happy
to see me.
8
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:44,000
And, her nan, who's basically
also my nan, was really happy as well.
9
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,080
Fucking piece of shit.
Fucking hell.
10
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,480
What you done to your hair?
And where's Connor?
11
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,200
I'm done with you, Tracey.
12
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:54,640
[buzzer buzzes]
13
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,480
[Joy over intercom]
I said, you are not coming home!
14
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,680
Mummy!
15
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,080
I mean, technically, I'm not squatting.
I'm just starting my shift really early.
16
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,080
[theme music plays]
17
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,040
{\an8}Okay, yes, Deepak.
I know how to run a shop.
18
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,800
{\an8}Can you just go
and catch enjoyments, please?
19
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,800
{\an8}Oh! Look, Deepak, be careful, okay?
20
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,640
Because from far away, you look
dark enough to be a little bit black.
21
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,360
No, you do! Look, look, look.
22
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,520
If the police stop you, don't panic, okay?
23
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,160
They're like bees. If they see you panic,
they panic, and then they sting you. Ok--
24
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,080
[line disconnects]
25
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,200
Deepak's going on holiday to America.
26
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,080
What's the point? He ain't here.
27
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,080
He ain't here! [laughs]
28
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,880
[hip hop music plays
through earphones]
29
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,480
-[music inaudible]
-[rapping]
♪ I tore that ass up ♪
30
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:16,760
♪ And it splattered on the floor ♪
31
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,520
♪ I've got a hundred more
on a worldwide tour ♪
32
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,920
[hip hop music plays
through earphones]
33
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,080
Woohoo!
34
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,440
[neck cracks]
35
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,760
[Tracey] I slay, I'm carefree,
and I've got my black girl magic.
36
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,120
[posh accent] Oh, my God. Connor?
37
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,400
Connor, it's Tracey!
38
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,280
Yeah, no, I know I look different, now.
I've become successful. Yas!
39
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,040
Who's this? Is this wide-legged hyena
your new girlfriend?
40
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,280
Oh, my God! No, no, no,
I just... I just can't believe
41
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,560
you've moved on so quickly.
42
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,440
[London accent] I haven't, Trace.
I haven't moved on.
43
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,880
I love you. Please help me, help me!
44
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,960
[gasps] Oh, my God, no, no, no!
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
45
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:08,160
[posh accent] Look, I wish I could,
but I've actually gotta go see Beyoncé.
46
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,080
No, really. Yeah, I'm gonna fly there.
47
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,240
Oh yeah, because I can fly,
and I'm flying!
48
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,960
I'm flying! I'm flying! I'm fly...
49
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,280
Oh, what you saying, fam?
50
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:18,880
You alright?
51
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,680
Yeah. Where you going?
52
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,920
-[laughs] Deepak's on holiday.
-On holiday, yeah, I know.
53
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,920
He's left me in charge.
54
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,320
Alright, well, you can tell me
where the toolbox is, then.
55
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,520
-What?
-The toolbox.
56
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,120
He says he needs some shelves fixing.
57
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,560
-Why?
-Broken shelves.
58
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,560
This ain't gonna be a problem, is it?
I mean, we're mates, we're adults.
59
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,480
Yes. No! Er, yeah!
60
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,560
-Toolbox?
-Toolbox, yes.
61
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,440
Here you go. [grunts]
62
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,240
[in choked voice] It's right in the back.
Deep in the back. [coughs]
63
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,640
Deep in the back, right there. Yeah.
64
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:56,560
[mutters]
65
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,160
Make up, make up, make up.
66
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,000
This has expired.
67
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,240
[Tracey] Yup. Will you
come back later? Thank you.
68
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,640
Oi, you idiot! I said this has expired!
69
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,160
So, put it in the bin!
70
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,800
I want fresh milk, you dumb fuck!
71
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,040
-[milk bottle slams]
-[yelps]
72
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,320
Look at what you made me do!
73
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,120
You think the world revolves
around you, don't you?
74
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,800
I'm out here trying to deal
with real-life problems.
75
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,000
-I want my money back.
-Yes, well you...
76
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,600
-[coins rattle]
-There you go, madam. Keep the change.
77
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,320
Oh, look at that,
I've just doubled your pension!
78
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:41,840
[Connor] Right.
79
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,240
Fucking hell!
80
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,520
Ah. Look at that.
81
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,520
It's a good job I'm here.
Bit of twisting, bit of tightening, and...
82
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,600
Ooh.
83
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,880
-Are you alright with me working here?
-Yeah.
84
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,440
-Yeah?
-Yeah!
85
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,160
Connor, me and you,
we're brethren, so, like, what's the...
86
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,160
Exactly. Besides, we haven't
really caught up in private.
87
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,800
I knew this guy still fancied me, man.
88
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,280
I wanna break up properly, you know?
89
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,520
[voice echoes deliriously]
Talk about exactly what happened.
90
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,080
And then, you know, put it all behind us.
91
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,200
[voices echo]
92
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,720
-[shrieking] No!
-[echoing] It'd be nice if we had closure.
93
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,800
["closure" echoes repeatedly]
94
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,600
-Tracey!
-[stammering] I... I'd love to, you know,
95
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,880
but I'm just... I'm so busy. So busy.
96
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,200
There's no-one here.
97
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,440
Stock! I have to...
I've got to count the stock.
98
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,640
-[huffs]
-What are you doing after?
99
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,480
-Oh, I'm busy after.
-Oh, yeah?
100
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,600
Yeah.
101
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,680
Yeah, I'm going on a date.
102
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,480
Yeah, literally the second
my shift is done. [sucks air]
103
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,600
-Wow!
-Yeah.
104
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,600
-What's his name?
-Anthony Joshua.
105
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,240
The famous boxer?
106
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,720
Yeah, it's... [stammers]
107
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,720
Yeah, no. It's obviously
not Anthony Joshua.
108
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,000
It's Antony Joshua's friend.
109
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,120
Basically, it's Anthony Joshua's friend
that I'm seeing, you know?
110
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,760
So... yeah. And he's
picking me up in his car.
111
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,000
Fancy. So, what's he whipping?
112
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,120
-Excuse me?
-What's he drive, your guy?
113
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:16,760
A Rolex.
114
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,280
Sorry, a Rolex?
115
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,720
Yeah, he drives a Rolex.
116
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,520
Is that alright with you?
117
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,120
-Yeah.
-Okay.
118
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,000
[whimpering] What's he doing?
119
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,480
-What's he doing?
-So, it's Anthony Joshua's best mate?
120
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,200
He's one of his best mates, yeah.
121
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,000
One of his best mates. Just one.
122
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,840
Yeah, he's got loads
of friends. Yes, that one.
123
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,000
-Him?
-Yeah.
124
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,920
Oh, my God.
125
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,240
Stormzy!
126
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,840
[whispering] Oh, that is...
That is really unlucky.
127
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,600
-You're going out with him?
-Yeah.
128
00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:59,160
Wow. Well, maybe we can chat after...
129
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,400
[imitating Crazy Frog]
Bing, ba-ding, bing, bing!
130
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,880
Time to count the stock-ins!
131
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:05,600
Hey, son. [laughs]
132
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,520
["House Work" by Jax Jones playing]
133
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,360
[Tracey] Eight, nine, ten, eleven...
134
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,840
Eleven... stock.
135
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,560
-I need to know what happened.
-Oh, well, you know, I guess...
136
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,320
You know, the shelves have been up
for a while,
137
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,000
and with all the stock,
they just got worn down.
138
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,640
Not the shelves. When we were
staying at the homeless shelter.
139
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,240
[nervous groan]
140
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,720
-What's happened?
-You made me lose count of...
141
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,400
So, now I've got--I've got to start again.
It's fine.
142
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,120
Twenty...
143
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,160
Twe... Okay. Yeah, okay.
144
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,160
So, the thing is,
about me and Connor's,
145
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,880
you know, drifting from each other,
146
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,440
it's not just that I just forgot
to mention it.
147
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,880
I chose to forget.
148
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,400
But now he wants to talk about it.
149
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,360
He wants to talk about
E2 Homeless Shelter.
150
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,760
Yeah, that's where we were staying
when we were part of the underclass.
151
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,400
He wants to talk about it, and...
152
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:24,000
Sixteen, seventeen,
eighteen salad creams.
153
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,480
Fifty-six, fifty-seven...
154
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,320
And to top it off, he's trying
to interrogate me
155
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,440
about my made-up boyfriend.
156
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,880
You're going out with Stormzy.
That is mad, innit?
157
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,520
Well, you know, I didn't go
looking for him like I did Drake.
158
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,720
You know, he found me, he saw the goods,
he wanted the goods.
159
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,480
-He's got the goods.
-Instagram?
160
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,080
No, man, you know we ain't really out here
doing it for the gram, you know?
161
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,720
I ain't even on the Instagram, so.
162
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,840
You're on Facebook. Is it Facebook levels?
163
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,000
No, no, no. We don't really
feel the need to... you know.
164
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,680
Oh, are you and... um, Emma, is it?
165
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,760
She wanted to,
but I ain't fussed for it.
166
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,440
But it sounds like you
and your famous fella...
167
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,120
It sounds like you're... serious.
It's quite mad.
168
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,280
-I'm glad we've both moved on.
-Yeah, we have. We have both moved on.
169
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,560
We have, both of us, have moved on.
170
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,560
I mean, hello! Prep the press!
171
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,720
Somebody call the reporters!
172
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,680
You know, me and you have moved on!
173
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,560
It's amazing.
Do you know what I'm gonna do?
174
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,960
Yas! I'm gonna go into the back room,
175
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,520
and I am gonna crack open
a bottle of Fanta! [laughs]
176
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,200
Trace, can we talk now, please?
177
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,400
It'll be over quickly,
as long as we're both...
178
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,680
If you're not telling lies,
and that. Yeah?
179
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,880
["This Woman's Work" by Maxwell plays]
180
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,160
Hmm?
181
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,640
-[music quietens]
-Yes! [laughs]
182
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,240
[laughing] I've just gotta go and get
the Fanta, right? You little weirdo!
183
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,040
Let's go. I don't even...
184
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,840
Shit!
185
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,280
Think of a plan, of a plan...
186
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,880
Candice. Candice!
187
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,360
[phone rings]
188
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,480
-[Candice]
Yo, wagwan?
-Candice, look, I need a favour.
189
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,960
[Candice] [laughs]
This is my voicemail.
Bet you thought I answered, innit?
190
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,680
-Because you're a dumb, gullible prick!
-[beep]
191
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,240
[singing]
♪ And when he came ♪
192
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,480
[over phone]
♪ To his true love's dwelling ♪
193
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,600
♪ He knelt down gently ♪
194
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,880
-[Tracey]
Ola, can--
-♪ Upon the stone ♪
195
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,880
-Ola.
-
It's an Irish folk song.
196
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,480
"The Night Visiting Song".
197
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,440
And I sing it because I want a man try
and to come visit me in my sleep.
198
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,560
And give a gift to my penis of fellatio.
199
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,800
Oh, yeah, of course, fellatio. Congrats.
200
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,400
Look, I need a favour from you.
201
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,520
No, I prefer transactions.
202
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,520
I'll shave your bum-crack again.
203
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,120
Deal.
204
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,920
I need you to make a Facebook page
under the name of Mr. Stormzy.
205
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,760
Okay? And do it quickly.
Oh, and do photos of us together!
206
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,480
You've got Photo Grid, the app? Yeah,
do some of that photo collages.
207
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,760
Yeah, make us look good, okay?
208
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,080
A challenge? Hmm. Okay.
209
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,560
Okay.
210
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,480
Don't look at me.
211
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,400
Hello, why--why are the shutters down?
212
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,000
You and me, we're gonna be straight
with each other for two minutes.
213
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,600
No, you can't close the shop.
It's the middle of the day.
214
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:28,800
I wanna talk, Trace.
215
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,560
Yeah, but I don't want to talk.
Oh, my God, Deepak's gonna lose his shit!
216
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:32,920
-Where's the key?
-We're not going nowhere
217
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,960
until we talk proper,
so you're gonna have to cancel your plans
218
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:36,400
with your made-up boyfriend.
219
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,240
I... I'm offended, Connor.
220
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:44,840
That you really think I'm
that pathetic. That crazy!
221
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:48,040
To just make up that I've got a boyfriend.
Do you think I'm that sad? That lonely?
222
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,440
Yeah.
223
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,320
[phone rings]
224
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,800
Oh, it's just my made-up boyfriend.
Do you mind if I--
225
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,760
-Let me see that fucking phone.
-Look at the phone.
226
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,760
-[scoffs] Go on, then.
-Thank you.
227
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,640
Hi! Hey, baby!
228
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,760
-[man]
Come on, open up!
-[banging on shutters]
229
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,520
No, we are open! Don't...
230
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,240
[shouting] Open the shop!
[speaking] Hi. Yeah.
231
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,000
[Ola]
This is so exciting.
232
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,080
-Honestly.
-[Tracey]
Yeah, I'm really excited
233
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,560
-about tonight, as well.
-Huh? It's...
234
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,640
-Oh.
-Mm-hmm.
235
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,720
-I see.
-[laughing] Yeah.
236
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,640
[London accent]
Yes. I love you.
237
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,480
My pretty little vagina.
238
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,120
[gasps] I love you, too.
239
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,600
-Check your Facebook.
-[laughing]
Check my Facebook?
240
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,440
I will, I'll check my Facebook.
241
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000
[laughs, kisses air]
242
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:38,800
He hung up.
243
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,640
Aww.
244
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,120
Look. A picture.
245
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:45,720
That's another one.
246
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,840
Oh, that's cute.
247
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,880
Oh. Right?
248
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,280
So, back off!
249
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,000
I still wanna finish it properly.
250
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,360
Oh, what are you gonna do?
Are you gonna hold me prisoner?
251
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,280
Oh, is your celebrity boyfriend
and his bodyguards gonna come for me?
252
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,560
[shouting] I am going out
with a celebrity.
253
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,640
He's got a lot of money!
He takes me to dinner!
254
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:02,840
He picks me up in his Rolex!
255
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,920
It's not my fault, Connor.
I don't know what he sees in me.
256
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,440
I don’t know! Maybe the same thing
you saw before your vision got fucked,
257
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,720
and you started seeing a hyena
crossbred with a goat as a potential wife!
258
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,080
-[screaming] I hate Emma!
-[gasps]
259
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,920
That felt so good.
260
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:20,800
Now, give me the key, please.
261
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,640
-[woman]
Open the fucking door.
-[whimpering] Yeah, I'm so sorry!
262
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,400
We're coming, we're just...
Just give me the key, Connor, please!
263
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,560
-[alarm blares]
-[gasps]
264
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,800
[voice echoes deliriously]
I need to know what happened.
265
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,560
When we were staying
at that homeless shelter....
266
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,360
["homeless shelter" echoes repeatedly]
267
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,040
[Tracey grunts]
268
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,120
[moans]
269
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,360
-[yelps, groans]
-[moans]
270
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,800
-Oh, Tracey...
-Yeah?
271
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,160
We can't in here.
272
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,600
Have you been drinking?
273
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,520
-Have you been drinking?
-[inhales]
274
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,680
-What?
-I made us a love nest.
275
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:05,840
Come on.
276
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,120
It's yours.
277
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,640
I want you.
278
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,280
Look, baby.
279
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,200
Water feature!
280
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,400
Look. And I've... you know? Babes.
281
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,320
-How much have you had to drink?
-Baby! No, baby, shh...
282
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,560
My body is yours.
Do you know what I mean?
283
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,320
So you can just take it, because, like...
284
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,560
Yeah, baby, that's...
285
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,920
[Caribbean accent]
Teif up mi body! Teif it up, man!
286
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,480
[both moan]
287
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:43,800
That is really...
288
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:44,920
Yeah, babe.
289
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,640
I'm sorry.
290
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,600
-No, don't... shh, look just--
-[knock on door]
291
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,080
[man]
Have y
ou lost it, yet?
292
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,320
[woman laughing]
I've got a tenner on you
staying floppy. Don't let me down!
293
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,880
-[shrieks]
-Oi, say that again!
294
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,120
-Go away!
-Say that again!
295
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,480
Go away, you're fucking terrible.
You're terrible.
296
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,520
Right.
297
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:04,960
-Right.
-Okay.
298
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,920
-Oh, my God.
-Yeah. Ooh!
299
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,600
Okay.
300
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,560
[giggles]
301
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,040
[both moan]
302
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,400
[squeals]
303
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,040
-[Connor] Yeah! Let's go down here.
-[Tracey] Okay. Oh!
304
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,280
-Yes! [moans]
-That's it!
305
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,240
That's terribly...
It's really uncomfortable.
306
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,280
Let's try this. [growls]
307
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,840
[both grunt and shout]
308
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,840
-[Connor] Yes. Yes
-[Tracey] Yeah. Oh.
309
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,320
Yeah! Yes, babe! Yeah.
310
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,320
-I'm gonna--
-No. No, stop!
311
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,480
[yelps]
312
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,480
You're doing the nose thing.
You're putting me off!
313
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,680
[Tracey screams]
314
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,360
Fuck you.
315
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:41,880
-Fuck you.
-I'm sorry.
316
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,120
The way you fucking treat my fanny
is fucking worse than...
317
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,240
People treat their animals better
than this. I even got Gay Simon...
318
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,640
I said, "Gay Simon,
please can I borrow your dildo?"
319
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:54,720
Listen. Three months, okay,
and we’ve not done nothing
320
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,160
with the penis in the vagina
going inside, okay?
321
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,520
Do you see what I’m saying?
322
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,680
Look. It’s frothing a little bit.
323
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,800
It’s all shrivelly and stuff,
and I--I don't know...
324
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,120
I don't know whether that’s
because of you.
325
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,160
[voice breaking] But I feel like
it’s fucking because of you! I...
326
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,040
-I’m gonna be sick. My stomach needs...
-Oh! The toilet bowl's there.
327
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,360
Keep your hands off me.
328
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,960
Where is the... Oh! [retches]
329
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,280
[Connor shouts]
330
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,560
That's better, yeah?
331
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,480
[retches]
332
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:28,800
That was on purpose.
333
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,160
[alarm blares]
334
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:36,960
[alarm quietens]
335
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:41,000
Look, I was trying to be
a supportive partner,
336
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,680
trying to help their boyfriend
through their erectile dysfunction.
337
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,040
-I don't know why you're pissed at me.
-Shut up. No.
338
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,000
It's what you did after.
339
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,480
["Girls Like Us" by B-15 Project plays]
340
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,440
[music quietens]
341
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,640
[grunts and moans]
342
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,800
Danny likes it. How come
Danny's got a hard penis
343
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,560
and, look at you, you fucker, you don't?
344
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,600
I don't have a penis, I'm a girl.
345
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,760
Yeah, but you're a lesbian.
346
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,320
What's happening with you?
347
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,280
Crazy when you're drunk,
crazy when you're sober.
348
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,800
Where are you going? I thought you wanted
to be the one to take my virginity.
349
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,480
I'm done with you, Tracey.
350
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,480
Oh, okay, well, that's alright.
351
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,760
Off you go.
352
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,640
The dildo is being activated.
353
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,560
Your services are no longer needed,
Sergeant Floppy Dick!
354
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,680
We were tight! We didn’t
need nothing but each other
355
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:39,200
and job seekers' allowance!
They loved us up! Interracial!
356
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,320
Yeah, usually, the girl's white
and the guy's black,
357
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,960
but we did it the interesting way around.
358
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,920
Tracey and Connor. “Tronnor.”
They actually called us "Tronnor"!
359
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,160
Nobody called us "Tronnor."
360
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,080
And then you went and told everyone
we weren't fucking,
361
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,360
and I turned into a laughing stock.
Well done, Tracey! Nice one.
362
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,320
No, no. Why would I want you
to be a laughing stock? I love y...
363
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,000
I mean, I like you,
know what I'm saying?
364
00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,840
You’re alright. I don't...
365
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,080
Just out of interest, then,
why'd you fuck someone else?
366
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,280
I didn't.
367
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,280
Fuck off, Tracey! I was there, remember?
368
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,560
I don't care if it was a girl.
Cheating's cheating.
369
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,440
-I...
-[phone rings]
370
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,200
[groans] Ola... celebrity boyfriend!
371
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,240
Now's not a good time.
Can you please call me back?
372
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,360
[gasps]
373
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,400
Look. I never cheated on you.
374
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,040
Never.
375
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,160
Honestly, nothing happened.
376
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,080
Okay, well there's, look... [mumbles]
377
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,800
[moaning] Oh, yeah!
378
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,720
[Tracey moans and shrieks]
379
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,920
What are you doing?
380
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:44,280
I'm making sex noises,
because I should be having sex right now.
381
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,200
-Here's your...
-Oh, yeah, yeah...
382
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,600
Yeah, come on. Let's...
383
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,880
Let's make like a scissors and trib.
384
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,840
-No.
-Kiss me.
385
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,160
-No.
-Kiss me!
386
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,040
-No!
-Okay.
387
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,040
Okay. Okay, I'll just have a hug.
388
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,520
-I just need somebody.
-Okay, come on.
389
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,920
He's gone. He's gone.
390
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,520
Thanks.
391
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,840
Fuck.
I had a whole 'nother story going on.
392
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,360
It was much sexier than that. Fuck.
393
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,320
-You know, I tried to tell you. [sighs]
-[phone rings]
394
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,040
Ola, give it up.
395
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,880
-[Ola]
I need to tell you something.
-Bye.
396
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,920
-So, you're not going out with--
-No, of course I ain't going out with him!
397
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,960
-It's lonely, innit?
-Yeah.
398
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,760
-Mindlessly fucking whoever, then just--
-Wait.
399
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,840
-Hmm?
-Your...
400
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,880
Oh, yeah, no, it's fine.
It's just with you.
401
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,840
-Oh.
-No, I mean... I don't know what it is.
402
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,400
I just... I think it's special.
In a good way.
403
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,440
-Are you still a...
-A virgin?
404
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:05,040
[laughing] No, no, no. I got demolished.
405
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,120
[makes choking sound]
406
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,680
It hurt, you know. I was like, "Ah!"
407
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,560
-Why do you lie so much?
-I'm not sure.
408
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,760
We should get back to work.
409
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,040
Yeah.
410
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,240
[Connor] Work. Right.
411
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,640
Right. [grunts]
412
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,360
Oh, no. I don't really work here.
413
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:37,880
It's worked out really well.
414
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,520
I saw Deepak with his suitcases,
put two and two together.
415
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,520
Okay, wow.
416
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,160
I just wanted to chat with you.
417
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,960
Alone. Without Emma breathing down my...
418
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,240
Why do you hate her so much?
419
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,600
-[sighs]
-You haven't even met her.
420
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,200
Because she's nice. I can tell.
421
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,200
So are you.
422
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,960
Whoa, Connor, what are you doing?
423
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,480
We can't. We were talking
about your girlfriend.
424
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,120
I was trying to leave.
425
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:16,840
Oh, yeah, yeah.
426
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,360
[door unlocks]
427
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,040
["Put it On Me" by Ja Rule ft. Vita plays]
428
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,480
The fuck?
429
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,600
["Shut Up" by Stormzy plays]
430
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,720
Tracey, yeah?
431
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:53,880
Yes.
432
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,880
But she doesn't look
like she's got cancer.
433
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:58,600
Well, I don't have cancer.
434
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,240
She can function, but it's just...
435
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,400
Alright. Take these.
436
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,080
I haven't really got the time for this,
so I'm just gonna...
437
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,760
Ooh, Stormzy!
438
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:12,920
You told him I've got cancer?
439
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,120
That you had a little bit.
440
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,080
Just small, small cancer.
441
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,040
What?
442
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,440
["Shut Up" by Stormzy plays]
33477
