Original subtitles

The company Japan Asia sponsored the shots on location in Taiwan

Produced and performed by Sammo Hung

Starring Lam Ching-ying

Gung Tsz-yan Mang Hoi

Lam Man-chung, Wong Man-gwan

Production Director: Kien Hsiao-houei

Script: Wong Bing-yiu

Supervision: Ye Jong-Tsu

Directed by Ricky Lau

Don't run!

Po!

- Master. - This way.

Get in here!

Did you see Po?

He's not here, I already searched.

Wait!

Don't listen to this old man.

The adulterous couple must be here.

Shut up! Po is an adulterer, but my daughter is virtuous.

Yeah, right, virtuous.

Let's search!

How dare you?

What's going on, old master?

This place is sinister.

It's probably haunted.

I'm not afraid.

Well, I trust you. Let's go.

Don't go outside yet.

Luckily, daddy didn't dare.

Because the master said it was haunted.

Po, look!

Coffins. You've already seen some.

Do you think there are ghosts here?

If there are, they won't be worse than them.

I'm scared.

Let's sleep. We'll assess the situation tomorrow.

Careful.

A bed. We won't sleep on the ground.

Yes, we're lucky.

Pearl!

Shall we have our wedding night?

No, it's not the right place for that.

Let's sleep then.

Po!

What's up?

A vampire.

- You must be dreaming. - I swear, I saw one.

Don't be afraid. We'll see what he wants.

Let's run!

Po!

Come!

Po, help!

- We must leave. - I agree.

- He's sucking your blood. - I know.

This way!

Come!

Jump!

It's too high.

Help!

Master, he's having a nightmare.

He really bit you.

Master, I just had a very long dream.

He shouted "Pearl".

What was scaring you like that?

Tell me, I'll analyze your dream.

I'm screwed if I tell him that I was running with Pearl.

So?

Is it coming?

It's coming. I dreamed that I was playing chess with Pearl.

Who won?

She stripped me.

Master, what does it mean?

Playing chess with Pearl?

In chess, we move our pawns in turn.

She makes her move, you make yours, and so on.

It means that we were running away.

How do you know?

A dream always works the other way round. You said that Pearl stripped you.

In fact, it's you who wanted to strip her.

Does she have a nice body?

Shut up. You were the worst of all in my dream.

The master was protecting me.

Since a dream works the other way round,

it means that I'm nice in reality.

And if the master was nice, then it means he...

He's even nicer!

Ask your heart.

My heart!

Very nice!

Then let's have some tea.

All right.

Why are wriggling?

It's great.

It strengthen the chest.

And sexual vigour.

Sexual vigour?

I'll try.

- It's awful. - Everybody's laughing.

Do you think my wriggling is nice?

Don't come with me.

It's full. Business is good.

Excuse me.

Brother.

There's some room inside.

Future father-in-law.

Uncle Nine.

It's going great.

I kept a table for you upstairs.

Come to the kitchen when you'll have some time.

Why?

A cook hurt his finger recently,

and another burned his face.

Let's have a look.

After you.

Pearl.

Let's have a sit.

Pearl!

Po!

- Does he still hang round you? - He comes very often.

Don't serve this bastard.

He's rich. Father doesn't want to offend him.

This fat lump is always under my feet.

Hello.

I would already have married her if it wasn't for him.

Her father would have accepted if they hadn't been engaged before being born.

Po, eat something.

Thank you.

It's for this bastard?

- I'm going. - Don't quarrel.

I'll try and make him listen.

It stinks!

- We must talk. - Have a sit.

What are you doing here?

In a tea house, we come to drink tea.

Do you know about Pearl and me?

I know. Boss Chu regrets it a lot.

There's no way my father-in-law would say something like that.

Who do you think you are, a prince? You and her...

Show some respect.

He wants some respect.

Then we have to respect him.

Po, what do you want?

Pearl will be my wife sooner or later.

What a waste!

Don't flirt with the woman of another man.

Lock her up at home if she's your wife. Look at her!

Have some tea with us.

If I'm flirting, then he's raping her!

Now you've been warned.

In what honor do you warn me?

You dirt fat lump, talking to you is already doing you too much honor.

Waiter, call the boss!

Please forget what happened.

As soon as you've barely said a word I'm already feeling better.

You shouldn't have gotten involved.

Run!

Fat lump!

Come closer.

And that?

Look, what is it?

I'll change it.

It's not your fault. He's the one trying to run me down.

Grasshoppers, they're everywhere. Prove it!

Yes, prove it.

Here's the proof!

Po, why did you do that?

Enough is enough.

Eat it or I'll make the father-in-law drink that.

You'll only have grasshoppers to eat if you marry him.

Hit him!

Forget it.

- Come and fight if you dare. - All right.

Come if you're not a chicken.

I spoke too fast. What can I do?

Go!

You'll be nimble as a monkey with that.

We must not lose face.

Jump, jump!

Jump!

- Stay! - Don't worry.

- Po! - Let him do it.

He's good.

There's always someone stronger when it comes to black magic.

Help!

Po.

You always fight at my place.

It's nothing. I'll thrash him.

Yesterday, master Huang, today, young mister Sze.

He was using black magic.

It's obvious that he's sly.

Don't provoke people.

- You bring me nothing but trouble. - It's not him.

He was teasing Pearl.

You should marry her!

She'll starve to death.

I give you one last chance. Before the boat celebration,

I want 60 kg of engagement cakes,

60 pounds of de comfreys and 600 chicken.

Otherwise I'll cancel the engagement.

Let's go.

What about tea?

The hell with tea!

Everything is fine.

Put away the tables. Quick!

Master, what happened?

This moron spoiled everything.

I'll get my revenge no matter what.

Do you have money problems?

You should sigh in front of the master.

Come!

Sigh.

Those 10 yuan is all I have. Take them.

It won't be enough.

Gamble them. Trust your luck.

10 will become 20, 20 will become 40, then 80, 160...

Then you lose it all!

I was thinking... Ho Li-Wan is selling his key money.

He wants 12 yuan for it but you can get it for 10.

He's a friend.

After that, you'll have to work hard.

If it works, you'll get rich.

Your father-in-law will look upon you differently.

Let's find Ho Li-Wan.

- Thank you master. - Let's go.

What is it?

It's collector's items.

Oh, collector's items!

PO'S HSIN CHI

- Po. - Boss Ho.

I give you the rest.

Check if the count is right.

It's fine. I bought lands with this place.

It made my fortune.

I know, boss Ho. Thank you for selling it to me.

- Well, I'm going back across the street. - Across the street?

No. I opened a small business. Come when you have a chance.

Brother, did you do the opening?

- I was waiting for you. - Come!

THE REAL "HSIN CHI" IS HERE.

You see.

- A rice soup. - Here's a wheel as a gift.

Come and taste Po's rice soup.

It's very tasty.

It's hot.

Sorry for the waiting. Here's a place.

There's not even a fly.

Master.

So? How is business?

No customers so far.

You have to be patient.

I'll serve you a bowl.

No, I made a reservation across the street. I just came to see you.

Uncle Nine.

- Congratulations. - Thank you. Have a sit.

I want a wheel with feathers.

How much does it cost?

It's free if you take a rice soup.

- How much? - 3.

All right, give me a wheel.

No need for the soup.

We'll have one over there.

It's a start.

We're out of crockery.

Business is too good. Take those bowls.

I'm hungry. Let's eat something across the street?

Go ahead! But don't ever come back here.

Heaven rewards the persevering.

A customer will show.

Sir.

What do you want?

I'd like a rice soup.

You'll love it.

You're my first customer.

Here, I'm giving you a little more.

And some chives, it will be better.

How much?

3.

Thank you, good bye.

The only customer of the evening, and it's a ghost.

Funeral money!

- Mother, it's hot. - What?

I'm telling you that it's hot.

There's two of them!

A blade is useless against a ghost.

I need a willow branch.

Why are you here?

To beat the hell outta ghosts.

Please listen to me.

Keep your sweet talk for you!

You've come to make a mess in our world.

I stayed for my mother.

You want me to swallow that?

Hung!

Hung!

Mother!

Mother, what do you have?

You're bleeding.

A ghost can't bleed.

Sir, listen to me. My mother doesn't know that I'm dead.

We're looking for

some people to take us in.

The soup I got from you was for her.

Please, spare me.

I'm the one who's begging you to spare me.

Will you let me be?

No, you're the one who should let me be.

Hung, who are you talking to?

Is it your cousin?

Be generous, pretend to be my cousin.

I beg you to help me.

Don't wriggle, just nod if you accept.

Thank you.

Mother, I found my cousin.

Where is he?

Wen, you put on some weight.

Everybody's calling me Fat Wen.

He's inviting us at his home.

All right.

Let's go.

Don't say anything to the master.

You're really hiding a ghost?

It's temporary.

Richness will be yours!

You mean misfortune.

She won't be ungrateful if you help her.

What?

A ghost has powers that humans don't have.

Forget it.

But no! We'll ask her to help you.

Let's make her a gift.

Boss, an ingot.

Do it alone. Don't count on me.

Please draw the curtain.

Who are you?

Hoi, Po's co-disciple.

Hello, Hoi.

She really looks human.

Have a sit.

It's for you.

Thank you.

What can I do for you?

I don't know how to say it.

Then think about it.

Can you read minds?

Think about what you want.

That I help Po to get rich?

You're very talented.

Ghosts can't commit crimes.

There are things that Heaven doesn't allow.

Some people are happy, some are miserable.

Some are rich, some are poor. Nothing we can do about it.

And what if it's a bad person?

We can study the question.

Who is the most vile in the region?

Young mister Sze without a doubt.

Still talking to this bastard?

We have a solution, Hung agrees.

Have a rest. We'll take care of his fortune tonight.

What are you talking about?

Here's Pearl, my brother's fianc�e.

Our target is next to her. Sze is taking advantage of his power

to harm people.

Let's go swim.

What's his pastime?

Women. Watch him.

You're disgusting!

I'd like to slap him for sure.

I'll take care of it.

Pearl, you...

I know, Hung.

Perfect. Just like the real one.

I'm not free.

He's gone.

I'll start. Then it's up to you.

What are you up to?

We'll be rich.

Young mister Sze.

- I'm sorry for earlier. - It's nothing.

- What? - He took Pearl with him.

It's Hung.

It's the same. He's capable of anything.

- Wait. - Let's swim?

Come to my house.

Welcome back, master.

Come, young mister Sze.

Take this.

Why is it shut?

Let's have another cup.

Change first.

Catch it!

Why are you kissing this vase?

What? It's not you?

Where are my antiquities?

They're all here.

It's all right.

It's hampering. Remove it.

I know that you're a ghost.

The bitch is quite pretty!

I never raped a ghost yet.

He won't dare to do it!

You want to leave?

He's gonna do it!

Come!

What are you doing?

Help!

Go and save her!

I'm gonna rape you.

Here's a slap, you fucking ghost!

Let's go.

Stay here!

Pervert!

I don't exploit women.

Master!

Give him a lesson.

Don't get any closer!

Do you still have something to say?

You're pretending to be virtuous

but you're trying to con me.

- Master! - Go away!

Your dignity will suffer

if I reveal this matter.

Let's go!

Leave!

Master, I almost raped the ghost.

The fat one spoiled everything. She was wonderful.

Master, everything is my fault. She's not responsible.

Let her go.

We must put an end to this.

Master, please be more humane.

I am with humans.

Hoi.

Hung, don't be afraid.

Hung, don't show yourself.

Where did she go?

Master, no.

Go away!

I'll cut.

Hung!

What's this mess?

Who's there?

It's her mother. She's deaf and blind.

Don't separate them.

- Don't go together. - What?

Your daughter is dead.

Dead?

Wen!

His name is Po, not Wen.

I lacked some filial devotion.

You're not generous.

Move away!

I'll cut.

Forget it.

Not the fire, she won't be able to reincarnate.

Go away quick!

- Don't get any closer or else I... - You what?

What? I'll hit you.

You'd dare?

Don't come!

What master you are! You show no compassion.

You're not my disciple any longer.

Let's leave this evil place.

Was it the soul or the body that got hurt?

It's the soul!

It's raining hard. Let's go inside to have some tea.

Go if you want.

Listen to me carefully.

Always be a disciple, never become a master.

Why, master?

Did you see? I dedicated myself to his instruction and he hit me.

He was wrong. How could he hit his master?

It comforts me to hear you say that.

I often tell him that even if the master is selfish,

stubborn, tyrannical, cruel, without heart, stingy,

he's still the master.

A saint can be wrong, so a master!

If the master is wrong, his disciple must give him advice,

and if he persists obstinately...

If he persists obstinately?

Then, the heart full of respect, the jaws clenched,

we must hit, up, down and in the middle.

Hit!

So he was right to hit me?

What would you have done?

The same thing.

Was I wrong?

Totally.

That's all I had to say. Hit me if you want.

If I really was wrong,

may the thunder rumble!

Pure coincidence.

I really was wrong!

- Does it hurt? - No.

Hung, we should go.

Don't be afraid.

Master.

I was wrong. Forgive me.

But you can't stay here.

Let's go.

Impossible.

So do we leave or not? Master, what shall we do?

Humans are Yang, ghosts are Yin.

Your mother is sick because of you.

IF you stay, Po will fade away too.

Stay away. What must we do then?

Come to my place.

To your place? Is it possible?

I will harmonize the Yin and the Yang. What do you think?

I'm happy,

as long as I can take care of my mother.

Hoi, her mother's umbrella.

- One more thing. - What?

Hit me or I'll never be in peace with myself.

No, or I'll always be in anguish.

You're so vindictive.

All right. Softly then.

What a strike!

Is that softly?

Yes, I restrained myself.

I feel better.

Master wizard, will Po die?

You'll see.

I found his birth date at the registry office.

Have it back.

Where do all those cockroaches come from?

Hey kiddo, what are you doing here?

I can't take it anymore. I'm abandoning this body.

What do you want to do with him?

What if we put his soul inside a pig?

Anything is possible.

But what will happen to his body if his soul is inside a pig?

He'll only be able to say two words.

- Which ones? - Fear and fright.

Fright.

Fear.

Brother.

Uncle Nine, what happened to Po?

He got scared and lost his soul.

Is it true?

- You don't believe it? - Prove it.

Don't be frightened, don't be afraid.

Look, his soul is on the wall.

Did it make you feel dizzy?

Then you still have your soul. Po, it's impossible to make him dizzy.

Try if you don't believe me.

I'll get you some tea.

Don't be afraid.

If he drinks Pearl's powder, his fear will pass.

He's unconscious. He can't be scared.

All right.

Uncle Nine, can I help you?

Get inside him so he doesn't get lost.

I'll bring back his soul tonight. Everything will be fine.

Don't worry, the sacred curtain is up.

You can go.

Fat Po's soul, come back!

Don't worry, I'm here.

- Why are you following me? - To call his soul.

It's stupid to stay together. Let's split.

Fat Po's soul, come back!

Don't worry, I'm here.

Heaven,

protect Uncle Nine, let him find Po's soul.

Hung, you don't feel anything.

Watch that Po doesn't catch a cold.

Mother, someone's coming.

- Are they back? - No.

Then go hide yourself.

Let's force the door.

Who are you looking for?

I'd like to make an offer of incense.

Please come in.

- Here's the incense. - Thank you.

Do you want to know the future? Your fortune?

I don't know yet.

Are you alone?

Yes, the master went out. He'll be back very soon.

In this case I'm leaving.

I'll see you back to the door.

Good bye.

Safe return.

This person is dubious.

Hung, you can come. He's gone.

You're the one who pretended to be alone!

Hung, you're my favorite kind of woman.

Watch what you're doing.

Hung,

show yourself quick!

Show yourself!

You again?

Fright, fear.

Don't be afraid.

Mr. Sze, go get Mr. Chu so he can see that.

All right.

Don't be frightened, don't be afraid.

Drink. No ghost will ever visit you again.

Even your own soul won't be able to return inside you.

How can you do that?

Get lost!

Drink fast!

Quick, we're leaving.

Let's go!

- Will you come out? - No.

Don't be afraid.

Come.

Po.

Look!

He was still fine yesterday.

Mr. Chu, your son-in-law has been haunted by this female ghost.

Hung, what do you have?

Don't be afraid.

Is a total annihilation possible?

No!

What are you doing in my house?

You've obviously become crazy.

Putting a ghost inside a body! What are you doing?

He wanted Pearl to marry Po to get Mr. Chu's wealth.

Who started this game?

Someone took it on Po.

The one who stole his soul

is a cruel spirit.

- Will Po recover? - Don't worry. He'll be fine.

Of course.

Hoi!

Move away!

Po's soul is inside this pig.

Put their mouths on each other.

Pearl!

It's you!

Po! Uncle Nine!

His soul isn't calmed yet.

He'll wake up with the sun.

Who could have done that to him?

We'll know the truth at his wakening.

I'm leaving.

Go back safely.

I'll visit him tomorrow. Let's go.

Father, I'd like to stay.

It's none of your business.

Come!

You'll see him tomorrow.

He'll only wake up tomorrow?

No. You must press his temples with your hands,

under his nose, and hit his fontanel.

He's waking up.

Almost done, keep going.

Uncle Nine.

How is she doing?

How is Hung doing?

Half of her ghost life expectancy has been consumed.

I fear that she might dissolve and vanish forever.

Po.

You're safe. My mind is at ease now.

Master, save her.

Some Yang would save her but the life expectancy of the donor would be shortened.

The two of us are too old.

You're too weak. We need someone young.

Hoi!

It's okay.

It's nothing if I only live two years less.

Not with the mouth, she'd fully drain you.

- How then? - With the palms.

- Where are you going? - I want to find them.

They'll come to get you during the night. Follow me.

He'll talk tomorrow when he'll wake up.

He's already woken up.

What now?

Don't worry. I have something. Get Mr. Chu.

This way.

Mr. Chu, have a sit.

Where are your antiquities?

At the cleaning. There's only this one left.

Hurry up.

It'll be ready.

Is it ready?

Have him drink that.

Mr. Chu, have a sit.

- Here's a nectar. - What is it?

It'll stimulate your...

- Will they really come? - Maybe.

- When? - Now or later.

What do you mean?

I got it.

Close your eyes then.

Uncle Nine!

Help, uncle Nine.

Don't move!

She'll drain all your breath with the mouth.

Master, I didn't want to. She's the one who did it.

It looks like she's better

She's getting her ghostly appearance back.

Remember, I said not with the mouth.

What's happening to you?

Master, I...

Fat ones always feel the need to do it.

Here! They're stuck again.

The bastard! He never listens.

Do you also have an emergency?

I'm almost done.

Father-in-law, you're drunk. You have red eyes.

I'll clean up.

What are you doing?

Father-in-law, no!

Don't you recognize me?

It's me, your future son-in-law.

No!

Quiet! Drink some oil, it's a laxative.

I mustn't hit him.

Master, help!

I'm helping them. They'll die if I don't separate them.

Help me! My father-in-law is weird.

Master, is he possessed?

He's a victim of black magic.

What must we do?

Let's build an altar to counter-attack.

Master, the challenge. Do you know where the enemy is hiding?

We'll know it soon.

Hide under the table.

My move fights for uprightness, I'm brandishing the sword of justice,

I'll never let evil cross the Yin river.

Go back!

You lost. I'm not playing anymore.

You're not playing anymore?

Master, my father-in-law, he...

Get him out.

Undo him.

Do you feel better?

- Much better. - Bring Pearl back.

Hung, hurry up.

He's been poisoned.

By what?

This poison comes from Yunnan.

It's a poison of animal or vegetable origin.

It's often a mix of eggs and seeds.

It'll grow inside if we don't remove it.

It's the vegetable kind.

We must not remove it

because its root is already holding the intestines.

We have to inject some urine through the wound.

It'll drown the root.

Father!

We must find the poisoner.

You two, take care of him.

Where can we find this poisoner?

A purple puff appeared east

during the fight. So, he must be west.

He's wounded, he won't get far.

Get ready!

- It's the right way. - Good.

- Are you tired? - A little bit.

I'll help you.

Let's go.

- Is it lighter? - Much lighter.

It's full of quails.

Leave her!

Watch her neck.

A bell.

She's keeping the place.

Let's not get lured.

The heart only follows one way, the 2 eyes stick together,

the 3 beings become one,

the 4 limbs are full of energy, the 5...

Go to 6, if your memory fails you.

What's it got to do with you?

Blacky, don't sleep.

Animals smells.

Does it come from Blacky?

Master, look.

Go away, Blacky. No need to sacrifice yourself.

Run!

Good bye.

What do we do now?

Calm down. We're going. Maybe they don't bite.

Careful!

Our stuff is distracting them?

Put it down.

Let's walk sideways.

I assail you!

I assail you!

It's good thing you're running fast!

Let's go in.

Uncle Poison, spare me.

I'll do whatever you want.

Uncle Nine, help!

He won't rescue you, he'll kill you.

The two of you did a lot of evil.

You deserve death.

But if you give us the antidote now

I'll spare your miserable lives.

And I'll let Heaven take care of you.

Only hatred is ruling this land.

The life of a man is worthless. Why wasting your time with me?

You want the antidote? It's in his belly.

You have to disembowel him

before the pill melts.

No. Uncle Poison, save me!

- Master. - What is it?

Bewitched persons.

Bewitched pigs?

No, bewitched persons!

Oh, bewitched pigs.

Pierce his navel.

Attack his navel!

Hoi! Master!

I'm fine. Master!

I'm fine.

Fucking shit!

Master, are you all right?

Poison gas!

Attack at 7 inches!

Master, are you all right?

The snakes are dead.

Excuse me.

Old wizard!

Get out of here!

Gut him!

I was wrong. Don't disembowel me.

It's useless.

The antidote melted. It went down to the bottom of his trunk.

- My father-in-law is done for? - No.

Let's castrate him. If he sucks his thing, he can heal.

- My father-in-law, suck... - Otherwise he'll die.

Can I make a request?

Speak.

Can he suck it first and cut it off later?