Original subtitles

Previously on Wynonna Earp...

I'm not a bad person - if you know what's good for you,

you'll stop treating me like one.

- We're your sisters now. - I want a girl.

Predictable.

That girl has the demon inside her...

Shoot her.

..which will spread like a virus

if we don't destroy it.

Dolls, Black Badge is gone.

Wynonna, you're not alone.

You can say that again.

Pitiful way for an elite operative to die,

by not covering his own ass.

Don't talk about my partner's ass.

Mr Holliday. It's good to see you.

I would return the sentiment, except I hate you.

We're on the same team here, alright?

Gentlemen, I'm gonna lower my weapon.

I prefer you don't shoot me.

Sir, can you please tell me what the hell is going on here?

Agent Chetri tried to make contact

and realised that the BBD HQ was empty.

Smart kid - Black Badge has cut you, your team,

and the entire Ghost River Triangle loose.

You're lying, man. Get outta here.

If he's lyin'...

..he's got the best poker face I've ever laid eyes on.

Wow. We were ghosted.

Ugh!

Why?

Powers that be don't wanna spend money on a war they can't win.

The Black Badge unit you knew no longer exists, Xavier.

It's gone, and if you wanna keep surviving,

you'll think real hard about getting gone yourself.

No. Can't do it, sir.

I haven't completed my mission, sir.

I thought you might say that.

This is all I can give you.

The file's incomplete,

but let's just say that, uh...

..you're not the only thing

Mr Holliday let loose from the safe house.

Hey. Sir.

Sir! Hold this. Sir!

Government agencies just don't vanish!

Black Badge isn't a government agency.

Never was.

Well, don't she look pretty as a plague?

Taken! Stolen!

This isn't open to the public.

Where is it?

Where is it?!

Oopsies. Pulled a little too hard.

Waste not, want not.

- So... - So...

Yeah, remember the time you touched the goo?

- Wynonna! - You never touch the goo.

You're...you're pregnant!

Oh! Do you have to use that word?

The big plus sign says yes!

OK, well, I'm really not ready

to, you know, talk about all the juicy details.

Oh, I'm so fine with leaving out the juice.

- Oh, good. - Yeah.

If you have questions, you should feel free to ask them.

Well, one. You should feel free to ask one.

OK.

How far along are you?

- Nope. Nope. Nope! - Wynonna!

Well, you can't just 'nope' this away, OK?

- "Nope"? Not a viable plan. - It is right now!

Right now, I have time.

Well, only a certain amount. Hence my question.

Waverly, my one boss just got her head blown off,

my other boss is a lizard.

Or a tiny, super-sexy dragon. Who knows?

And still, always, there are the demons.

So I cannot... I cannot deal with this right now.

I can't. Please.

- OK. - Thank you.

Glad you're not possessed by a tentacle anymore.

Yeah. Me too.

OK. I'll see you at the office.

Shit!

- What? - I have to pee again.

Oh.

I really, really want you to give me a case. Any case.

- Sorry, girl, I got nothing. - Come on!

Cannibal psychiatrist? Scorpion/Shih tzu hybrid?

Ooh, creepy clowns! Those are really hot right now.

- Wynonna, take a day off. - Boo.

Get a spa treatment.

Purgatory doesn't have any spas.

Unless you count the jacuzzi

Willie drives around in his pick-up.

- Go shopping? - Why? Do my clothes look tight?

Hi!

- For you. - Yeeeah!

Question - why does my coffee

taste like it was brewed in Nedley's hat?

Because it's not coffee. It's Soothing Sunshine herbal tea.

Caffeine-free.

Well, if it sounds like a hippie haemorrhoid cream,

I don't want it in my cup.

Waverly, can you get her out of here?

And then, you know, come back, 'cause I'm off in 10 minutes.

Ugh. You guys make 'The Notebook' look bleak.

You practise those googly eyes in the mirror,

or just natural talent?

- My boss was killed. - God really is dead.

To those wives who came before us,

eternally a part of us, speak and I will listen.

- Can you see it? - Quiet.

You've lost our husband's favour. You've lost the gift.

I have lost nothing!

You, on the other hand, have lost us everything.

What was I supposed to do? Bobo moved the second seal!

And took its location to his grave.

- So we ask the Stone Witch. - Missing.

- Juan Carlos? - We are not strong enough yet.

We'll find it. We will tear this town apart if we have to.

We don't have time.

You've already drawn eyes to our work, thanks to that priest.

The clockmaker's mansion.

Do we think he's still in the Triangle?

Hypnos? He'll be protected.

We'll have to find a way through his nasty little spells.

We already have one.

It's Poppy, right?

Pretty.

No, no, don't! Don't! He's not supposed to wake up yet.

- How did you get in here? - I walked.

You're human. Foolish.

I'll rip you from limb to limb.

And I'll enjoy it.

It won't work, Hypnos.

Widows made me immune to your little tricksy.

You're gonna do exactly as I say,

or I'm gonna use pretty Poppy for target practice.

What do these Widows want?

Time. They want time.

I was sorting through the decorations in our basement

when I felt...

Hungry? Nauseous? Horny?

No judgement. You're a nun, not a saint.

Cold.

Freezing cold.

I could see my breath.

And then I turned around and saw her. A Victorian...

Woman in black.

And then I don't know what happened.

Suddenly I couldn't move. Not a muscle.

And then I just watched as she...ate him.

Don't worry, Sister. You're safe.

We'll find out who did this. Come on.

So you've seen this woman in black before.

At the creepy-crawly condo.

She must be the one who got ceremonial

with the crows and poor Earl.

Shit. I thought I was seeing things. I thought it was Willa.

The condo was built on a former Catholic school.

Now we're looking at a church basement. Both are...

- Consecrated ground. - Yeah.

She was looking for the same thing again.

Another seal! There's more than one seal!

OK, if someone moved it,

it could still be on another sacred site, right?

- How many of those do we have? - In the Triangle?

Uh...churches, synagogues, mosques?

I can narrow it down using an algorithm and a complex set...

- Jeremy. - Math.

I can narrow it down using math.

I just need 24 hours and a burrito.

You might wanna sit down.

Why? I feel fine. I'm totally fine.

I was actually talking to Jeremy.

Yeah. Sure. Whoa!

So this is good news, right?

I mean, no more blood contract.

- No more backup either. - Then who is paying us?

- Does this mean I'm fired? - We are free agents.

Free to make our own rules and to pursue our own objectives.

Welcome to the club. I've been here a while.

I'll show you what areas are off limits.

Well, that's my point.

There are no areas that are off limits anymore.

What is happening?

OK, I'm gonna need someone

to write me a reference letter.

Oi! Weirdos!

Crazy chick. Big-ass magic gun.

There are still demons terrorising Purgatory.

Garrotting priests, for example.

Mucho illegal. Not super Christian.

So you're all free to do what you want,

but far as I'm concerned, we hunt supernatural shit,

we kill supernatural shit, no piece of metal needed.

Peacemaker is metal.

- Zip it, Algebra. - OK. I'm gonna go.

- The hell you are. - The hell I am!

I'm gonna go find that seal!

Does anyone want a snack? Doc, do you want a snack?

I'm gonna get you a snack. OK.

Hey, uh, Wynonna. You wanna grab a coffee with me?

There's something I wanna discuss with you

that's personal.

- Yeah, sure. - How about she meets you there?

Yeah, we've got stuff we need to discuss.

Yeah, sure. No problem. The diner? Half-hour.

Don't be late.

- Ow! -Dolls is about to tell you he wants to be more.

More than a dragon?

- More than your boss. - What?

He asked you for coffee to discuss something personal.

It's a date. Yeah, and you said yes.

- You have to talk to Doc. - I don't have to do anything.

Henry's a big part of this whole...

..situation you got going on, isn't he?

Yeah, and now Dolls is... going for it.

I mean, you hiding this is not fair to either of them.

Tough shit.

It's my decision who to tell and when and it's my situation,

and nobody gets to decide how to handle it but me.

So stop pushing me,

and while you're at it, stop judging me.

OK.

Your girlfriend's looking at you

like you're the fudge to her sundae.

She and I haven't talked - you know, TALK talked -

since I was tentacled.

- Well, you should go. - I can stay.

- If you want me to. - No.

One of us should have a non-screwed-up romantic thingamajig.

Holy shit.

Shit! Hey! Hey, guys, I found it!

Yeah!

You taste like my Waverly again.

What's wrong?

I was just thinking.

How much of the other times were...

..were you...you?

You know, because you said things, and we did things and...

..I don't know what was real.

No. It was all real.

OK?

It was all me.

How can you be sure?

Because I don't remember much about when...

..it was in control.

But...I remember every second I was with you.

Each touch.

Every kiss.

When you put it that way...

- Oh, hey. - Hey, how are you?

- Good. - So...

What will it be, since you can't have whiskey?

What? I can have whiskey. What's wrong with whiskey?

- I can have whiskey still. - It's 11 in the morning.

- Oh. That. - And it's also a diner.

Oh, well, a diner in Purgatory.

There's hooch behind the counter

next to a homemade taser and a can of spray cheese.

Damn.

I've missed you, like, so much.

Look, um, Earp...

- Mercedes! Yo! - Oh, hello, Wynonna.

Hello. Sit.

What's wrong, silver spoon stuck up your ass again?

OK, something's definitely wrong.

Tucker is a real pain in my ass.

Questions everything I do. He's a real loose cannon.

Any moment I feel he'll just explode and ruin everything.

Enough to drive me to drink.

Like you need any help, right?

You know, you can call me when he's being an asshole.

Talk it out.

Speak of the devil. I better take this.

He might be calling to tell me he's taken a hostage.

Take your time.

Anyways, as I was saying, um...

- I was thinking that... - Oh, I gotta tinkle.

Oh, yeah. As women do.

And men. Most men.

Most living creatures.

I think. I skipped biology.

Whoa.

What was in that tea?

What the hell, dude?

Oh, we're gonna need a bigger coat.

Whoa. That's new.

Dolls!

Oh, wow.

Did I just pass out?

- Everybody in here did. - What?

I think we've been asleep for a long-ass time.

What?

- Uh...Wynonna? - Mmm?

This isn't natural.

The whole...

..town...

..is asleep right now.

Waverly!

- Waves! - What?

Does this look normal to you? Just checking.

Whoa!

That was so not on WebMD.

Wait. Where's Nicole? She's...

Officer Haught.

Excuse me.

- Don't look at me! - Ooh! Definitely a little naked.

Hey, my phone battery's toast.

I'm guessing the rest of yours are too?

Espresso. Drink.

You can wake people up, but they fall right back asleep.

What's doing it?

Something that's about to get dead.

It's like a curse or a spell.

I mean, it has to be.

This many people, the radius... It's unprecedented.

Sleeping Beauty on steroids.

OK, so we double up and start waking the town?

No. No.

Waking people up makes it harder to find the source.

Whoever's doing this, they'll be easier to spot

if everyone's zonked, right?

Yeah, and we need something a little stronger than coffee.

Alright, I've got enough pharmaceuticals

in the evidence locker to keep all of Purg High buzzing.

Uh, if you snort it or shoot it, I'm out. So are you.

My own sister, a narc.

OK, most of it is not illegal.

When taken by the person to whom it is prescribed.

Look, if we don't self-medicate, we're all...

Right.

I forgot my gloves... Whoa! Uh...

Uh...

Is...is that...

- Nicole, please. - OK. This is... Wow. OK.

Um, it's just... Does Waverly know?

Yeah, but not Dolls or anyone else. Yet.

- OK. - Yeah.

Look, I'd still like to do a loop of the town.

I just wanna see if anyone fell asleep outside

and move them, even.

Great plan. Stay alert.

Hey, the keys to the locker, they're in Nedley's desk drawer.

OK. Nicole...

Uh, thanks. Thank you.

Heaven help that gynaecologist.

I cannot sustain it.

I can't keep the humans all asleep.

Hypnos, darling, admit it. You missed this.

The whole town's been asleep for weeks.

This isn't fun anymore.

I want my prize now.

- Shut up, Tucker. - Time is running out.

That's unacceptable. We need more.

You should accept that you have failed.

- You can't hurt her! I like her! - You'll give us another week.

And another week after that, and another week after that,

for as long as required.

Because you love dear Poppy, don't you?

Couldn't bear it if her pretty face, say...

..fell off.

And you, if I hear another word about your prize, I will...

I'm doing good. Found something in the salt flats.

- The seal. - No, but...

- Someone's awake! - Hypnos! Knock them out.

I can't.

The heir is too strong.

The heir? What heir?

The heir of Wyatt Earp.

Never say that name to us.

You haven't been paying attention.

Too caught up in your fruitless mission.

Run! Run, while you still can.

I think we can handle it.

Besides, Beth is hungry, aren't you?

Let's go get you someone to chew on.

It's OK.

Alright. So whatever's doing this - witch, warlock, demon -

it's expending a lot of energy, so it'll need help.

So someone out there is up and about?

Yeah, and that something will be easy to find.

Anyone awake? We track 'em.

Wynonna shoots 'em. Boom.

So why put a whole town to sleep?

I mean, it's not an assassination attempt, obvi.

Maybe for the same reason we're not waking anybody up yet.

Easier to get shit done.

The party's over now. One at a time, as needed.

OK? It's just adrenaline. Into the hip.

Won't need it.

Funny story - Peacemaker has decided

it's an alarm clock and a taser.

Fine. Radios are charged. Here you go.

And no, we are not doing any cutesy call signs. OK?

- Fine. - Alright.

OK, so, um, somebody needs to wake up Doc,

and I'd rather if it wasn't me.

Yeah, I've got it.

Hey, about before - Wynonna, I...

I didn't mean to, you know...

So let us know the second you get to Shorty's.

There you go.

- Attagirl, Angel Pants. - See you around, Bacon Donut.

Hey, there's something else.

If the victims of the sleeping spell stay under for too long,

they never wake up again, ever.

You feeling OK?

I can't believe I'm about to say this,

but I...I think I need a cup of tea.

Hey. Where's Jeremy?

If he fell asleep on the toilet, that's all you.

Shaladelle.

Love the veil.

Somebody die, or are you just over hats?

Guess the whole Sleeping Beauty routine is your doing

so you could find the second seal.

Speaking of second...

Double, double, shit ton of trouble.

Doc?

Well! Someone's been doing yoga.

Hey! Those were for me.

You know what they say, "You snooze, you shall lose."

You and Rosita weren't snoozing.

I mean, you were. But, you know, you fell asleep 'entwined'.

- It's a new thing. It's casual. - Of course. No strings, right?

I'm not the settling-down type, Waverly. I never have been.

A fact about which I've been entirely clear to everyone.

She's too young for you.

I'm older than the state of Colorado.

Everybody's too young for me.

There a reason your sister

didn't come wake me herself?

She and Dolls were gearing up at BBD.

Uh-huh.

Woke up together, I suppose.

Hey! It was just coffee.

Yeah, well, my body's gonna need something else.

Where do you keep your energy drinks?

Had to hide 'em from Rosita.

She had four in a row,

started seeing some fella by the name of Elvis.

Jeremy!

Hey! Jeremy!

- Jeremy! - Oh, God!

The seal. The seal is in Shorty's.

Huh?

I'm in Shorty's. Um, OK.

Wait! Jeremy, stop. You'll hurt yourself.

No. OK, the second seal is back there.

I'd bet my signed 'Baywatch 2017' poster

it's behind these stupid, mother-fudgin' crates!

What in the hell gave you that notion?

Shorty's was built in the same year

that they renovated the church basement,

and it sits on top of what used to be a Masonic temple.

Holy ground. It fits!

It felt a lot heavier.

I am not putting an appendage through there.

The last one wasn't

booby-trapped or anything, right?

Unless you count a spider demon sucking out your insides.

Kinda, yeah. I do.

What would The Rock do, what would The Rock do,

what would The Rock do?

- Goodness. - My bet's on badness.

- Earp, you good? - They're gone.

There was two of 'em.

Damn it, why'd they run? I had 'em.

Crazy corseted bitches.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa!

I'm OK. I'm OK.

Yeah, but you're also, like...

Would you believe I ate a buttload of corn dogs?

I'm not seeing things, right?

- Like, you're... - Knocked up.

Yep. Little bit.

Why don't any of the creepy bad guys ever just wear jeans?

I was gonna tell you. I wanted to tell you.

When? When you were in, like, labour?

Oh, my God, I'm gonna have to do that.

Maybe you should sit down, or...

- No, I don't need to sit down. - OK.

You're pregnant.

Believe it or not, being pregnant

doesn't affect my ability

to send evil shit-tickets screaming back to hell.

- Nothing's changed. - Everything's changed.

Hey, Wynonna? It's Nicole.

I just tracked a lady in black to the old clockmaker's mansion.

Copy that.

Look, those witchy Widows

supernaturally roofied the entire town.

I'm shooting them in their lacy faces

before they find the second seal.

That's it. I'm doing it. It's not an option.

OK, Deputy.

Better take it careful. Can't go in hot.

Have you met me?

I'm always hot.

Earp! In here.

I think I just found the source of your sleeping curse.

A Tempus Monstrum. A Sandman.

They made me do it.

Then undo it. Wake everybody up.

- I can't. - Well, I can.

One bullet straight between the eyes.

Kill me and they all die.

Asleep forever until their bodies rot.

And yes, that includes you three.

Or rather...four.

Or is that what you want?

- Dolls? - He's right.

The spell's irreversible if the caster dies without lifting it.

They should really put that on the label.

Sorry.

Listen, asshole, I'm tired, I'm hormonal,

and I have to pee for the zillionth time today.

Can't shoot to kill? That's fine.

I have other ways to bring the pain.

I'll cooperate.

On one condition.

Goody. I love conditions. They really turn my crank.

The Widows' human familiar took my Poppy.

He has...plans.

So, what? What do you want?

You want us to rescue your little girlfriend?

She's not my girlfriend.

She's my daughter.

I need to know about the Widows.

There's no time!

They seem to know me, but I have no memory of them.

- It's curious. - What?

They are looking for something.

Yeah, a seal. Old news. What happens when they break it?

I assume nothing yet, given that there are three in total.

Three seals?

They're not looking for the second one anymore.

They found it.

Shorty's.

I like these. I like these a lot.

I'm feeling all tingly.

We can talk about that later.

Angel Pants to Bacon Donut. Come in, Wynonna.

Say again? You're breaking up. Over.

Waverly, leave now!

It's the women in black.

The seal's in Shorty's. They know.

Too late.

I think she's already here.

Three against one, gents, even if she gets through that door.

I failed my firearms test four times.

It may be the liquor, but I see two.

Yummy, yummy. This one smells sweet.

First the seal. Then the snack.

Tell me I'm wearing clothes this time.

- Mm-hm. - Huh!

- Waverly's in trouble. - Yeah.

But I need you to find someone else, Haught,

or the whole town dies.

I'll save my sister. You know I will.

OK. Where am I going?

OK, we somehow have to find this psycho named Tucker.

Tucker Gardner?

I've been tracking his phone for weeks.

Tucker's had all my instincts buzzing since day one.

You bugged his phone? Isn't that illegal?

Very illegal.

Hey, in my defence, he's the worst! Don't judge me.

I will judge you.

Judge you unexpectedly awesome.

OK. It looks like he's headed to...

The homestead.

- Dolls? - Yeah.

- I need you to go with her. - No, no, no, no.

Not a chance. And leave you alone? Not happening.

If something happened to Nicole, Waverly would die.

And I just got her back.

- Plus Doc's... - Yeah.

It's just... I need to talk to Doc.

You're amazing.

You're just...

You're an amazing agent...

..Earp.

Just an amazing agent.

Thank you.

OK, wait. Wait!

Wait, wait, wait!

No. Waverly would brush her hair slowly. Elegantly.

- I'm not Waverly. - Undress and put this on.

It'll help you get into character.

- Shit. I'm sorry. - No!

- He is NOT in her room! - Go! Go!

- I don't... I don't... - Hands on your head! Now!

You hurt her, it's all over, man.

It's not just a couple up-skirts.

You do not want to cross that line.

Everyone keeps talking to me like I'm an idiot.

Those hags, this one here, you.

I'm not an idiot. I know what I'm doing.

I know what I want.

Too bad you're not gonna get it.

You shot me, you bitch.

Drop the knife or I'll do it again.

I did something else. They'll kill me for it.

Tucker!

Let's get you home to your dad, OK?

Victory!

It worked!

Hey, drama queens. You break it, you bite it!

Don't do that to me, baby girl.

Sleeping on the job again?

Oh, I like to let you get in a few from time to time.

Builds your confidence.

Everyone's OK. No permanent damage.

Even your hat survived.

I have something to tell you, Doc.

I wanted you to hear it from me.

I do believe folks are waking up upstairs.

They'll be thirsty.

No-one seems to have even noticed they lost a whole month.

Because they haven't.

Check your telephone.

It's the same date as when I fell asleep.

In a dream, it can feel as though

hours and hours have passed,

but then you wake to find out you've only slept for a minute.

No-one in Purgatory will even realise time has passed.

Because, in fact, it hasn't.

Buddy, sure seems like time has passed for me.

Under my influence, bodies cease to age.

Your child should have stayed as it was.

So what you're saying is I got screwed.

That much is obvious.

You refuse to follow the rules.

It seems your offspring will be the same.

But you saved my daughter.

I want to see her now.

Huh!

I'm harmless when dormant. I'll go back into hibernation.

- Something like that. - Dolls!

He was blackmailed. They used him!

And if he's used again? He's a goddamn demon, Earp.

And a powerful one. Now do your job.

Now.

You don't have to be like this, Dolls.

Like what? Your boss?

What else am I supposed to do around here, Earp?

Waves, let's go.

Poppy took off.

We didn't stop her.

She's not the enemy.

- Hey, Earp. Earp! - Wynonna.

Wait. Whoa.

You know we're gonna have to

talk about this eventually, right?

Put a strategy in place.

Until then, she gets all the time and space that she needs.

I wonder if you could, uh, give her this.

When you think she's ready.

What's the down-low?

- Wynonna's pregnant. - Yeah!

Oh, was that a secret?

- You're injured. - That's no ordinary gun.

You'll heal. I'll get you something to feed on.

That Earp girl knows too much. She'll be coming.

Sister Clootie!

- Constance! - He killed the Stone Witch!

That little Tucker's dead.

Don't laugh. This is the only position I feel comfortable in.

Room down there for one more?

You OK?

No.

Furious.

- These things just happen. - No.

Not to me.

Am I a screw-up? Yeah.

I've also been on two types of birth control

since I was 13 years old.

But the universe doesn't give a damn.

It's never given me a choice, it's never...

Not whether I wanted to be the heir or a m...

..a mother.

I know you're overwhelmed, OK?

But not everything is because you're an Earp.

Yeah, it is.

It always comes back to the curse, Wave. Always.

I really, I...

I can't do this.

- Hey. - No.

- Hey. - This poor asshole!

Hey...

I'm not saying it's gonna be OK.

But I'm just saying...

..I'm here.

Hey.

And Doc wanted me to give you this.

Shh.