Original subtitles

The romantic ideal of love is that it takes you by surprise.

That you don't have to do anything for it.

But that's nonsense, statistically speaking.

All that time I was waiting for it.

But if you want to find love, you have to go look for it.

I can help you with that. I'm organizing speed dating cooking classes.

Sign up in time because the flirting season starts on Skirt Day.

Who will wake up next to whom tomorrow?

Skirt Day

Hi, are you Walter? - Hi, Marijke.

Am I very late? - Oh, well.

Here we are then. It's crazy at the office with this mega-deal I need to close.

Have you been waiting for a long time? I'm so embarrassed.

You really resemble your profile picture. - Who doesn't?

Most guys don't. You're an exception. - Right. So, you do this often?

Of course not. Not that often.

Thanks a lot.

Can I get a piece?

More women than men again. - It always works out.

There are hardly any men this time. - Don't worry.

Everyone breaks up in the summer, and then they come here to make tapas.

A new chance for children adopt a child from Asia

Oh dear, how terrible. Did I hit you?

No, but you almost did. - Fortunately.

Can I make it up to you? - No, I'm in a hurry.

I'm sorry, it fell. Could you bring it up?

Hey, you. Stop, that's mine.

Good.

Edwin, come on. You need to go to the butterflies.

Is this really necessary?

Those big girls can't do without me.

I'm sorry.

I was working in Boston, banking and finance.

We had this conference call with a French company.

I could understand everything they said.

You're in real estate, right? - Sales.

What do you sell? - Ceiling modules.

How interesting.

So, you were in Marrakesh too?

I was there with my best friend Danielle, in a wonderful hotel. It was fabulous.

If I had been there with a man, we wouldn't have left the hotel room.

I have to go. My parking ticket is about to expire.

How long did you pay for? - Enough. Twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes, because... - Because by then you know enough.

What exactly? -If you're going to hit it off.

But I don't think we will.

It's not as if I like you either. - All right, great.

This is not how we're going to do this. We're going to have a real conversation.

We'll show an interest...

and ask questions about our passions, ambitions and summer plans.

And if we hit it off, because we might, you'll ask me to have dinner...

and I'll say yes, because I've kept the evening free, just in case.

If there are insurmountable differences, we'll each go our separate ways.

That's how it should be done, so that's how we'll do it.

You're right, I apologize.

When does your parking ticket expire? - I came by bike.

From the best cake shop in town.

My dear Chantal, we're not blind. - We can't be, in this profession.

We've all noticed what it is you want. And so...

Go ahead and unpack it.

You're going on a romantic dinner, and we're paying.

If you hit it off, you'll have to name the love child after me.

I'm sorry, but this doesn't work. I really like you, but not this way.

Not like this.

Anyone want a coffee?

What's going on? - I don't know.

Tapas cooking workshop for singles

When will people stop trying to pair me off?

I want it to be spontaneous. Love is something that needs to happen to you.

Here's my present. A cooking course, because you enjoy cooking so much.

I love tapas.

Here's a piece of cheese, Jenny. You don't like that.

Here's a piece of meat. Isn't that nice?

Want another piece?

It's really nice. - Yes, it's lovely.

My dog. Can anyone help me? Does anyone have a phone?

He just collapsed.

Do you know about dogs? - Yes, I do.

Is it working? - One, two, three...

Do you feel anything? - His heart is beating.

Look at that. - Thank you.

I'd go to a vet if I were you. - I will.

I've lost my appetite.

Are you dumping me?

You can't, because I'm dumping you. - Fine.

Right. Goodbye then. - Bye.

I hope you'll be very happy together.

We already are. - Here you go.

Get back in the saddle right away. Bye.

Two pairs, aces.

Royal flush.

You can't be serious. - I am. Take all of it off.

You win.

Turn around.

There. Come along.

Are we going to dance?

That's not funny. Come on, Paulien. -It's time to make a choice, Bor.

Honey, that takes time. -It's all or nothing.

There are people coming. Hurry.

Hi there.

Open up. - I'm done sharing you.

Put it on there.

Done.

Not funny.

What are you doing?

I need to tell you something.

You're going to be a father.

And I'm going to be a mother.

This is our baby. Finally.

She looks just as I imagined her in my dreams. Look at that cute, little face.

Yes, she has a slight deformity.

Do we get a discount? -It's a child, not a couch.

We don't want a lame child, right? - Sure we do.

Children with special needs need lots of love, and we can give it.

Let's wait for a normal one. - That takes way too long.

We could go get her this month. - What?

Look at this tiny doll's house. With a tiny, little kitchen.

Isn't it cute? A tiny, little table and this little wok.

Isn't it sweet?

This is going a bit too fast for me. - Oh, honey.

You're ready for this. You really are.

I am, but how about you? - What do you mean?

Let's wait until you're a bit more stable. - I am stable.

Until your hormone levels have gone down again. You're a bad example.

I really think I'm going to be a real good mother.

And you'll be a great dad. Oh, baby.

Twenty minutes? That fast? -It's a new record.

I hadn't even finished my glass.

You verbally castrate men with all those stories about your career.

He asked me about it. My visits to the dentist take longer than my dates.

Flight. At least he's filling a hole.

I can't tell you how much I need a check-up.

Want an omelette too? - I'm going to have my eggs frozen.

I think I'll pass on that omelette. - Maybe I should buy a cat.

So you've given up all hope. - I've tried everything.

Internet dating, speed dating, horrible mobile apps. Not even one decent guy.

Tomorrow evening, making tapas for singles.

Sounds like something for losers. - A nice evening with nice food...

nice cocktails and lots of single men. I've signed you up as well.

No way. - Way.

Hello, gentlemen. Had a nice work-out?

What do you teach? - I do pole fitness. And you?

I'm guessing you're doing weight training. Let me feel that.

Two protein shakes, please. - Coming right up.

How about you? Do you also do pole fitness?

You're just talking to me because you want to get to know her better.

You should change tactics.

Put the stools on the bar.

Wow. Hi, there.

Divorced.

That's a big guy.

Take that shirt off.

One, two, three.

Hey, what...

Hi. - Would you like to go somewhere else?

Well, you don't beat around the bush. Where do you want me to go?

Somewhere other than our goal.

Are you in a hurry? - No, I'm going on a course.

I like to go hunting in the park. That's where the ladies are off-guard.

Sorry, guys. Sorry.

Edward. - Edwin.

Today we're putting things into practice.

Hello. - Hi.

Think about what I taught you: compliment, introduction, action. Go.

Jesus, a flower?

Do you try to bore her to sleep and then snuggle up to her with your hard-on?

Tell her she looks cute.

You're cute. - Thanks.

Sit down.

Look out. - What is this?

Oh, shit. - That's okay.

Go on, make it erotic. Keep going.

That's really stupid of me. I'll get you a new one.

Don't worry, I have more stuff. - I'm sorry.

Would you like a piece of toast? - Gladly.

Tell her you'd like a piece of her.

Exciting, isn't it? - All right, get that chemistry going.

Do you like grass too? I'm sorry.

Do you come here often? - I do.

Where's your Stetson? - Excuse me?

I thought you would wear a cowboy hat.

Girlnextdoor1987. Lonesomecowboy?

Who's that? - Abort mission. Return to base camp.

Rejection is painful, but the pain is temporary.

Chronic blue balls really hurt.

What's the worst thing about turning 30? - Physical decay has started.

Hangovers last longer. - You get called up for a Pap smear.

I'm sorry, Madame, this may feel a little cold.

Iris. - Yes?

Dear Iris, the first time I saw you, in that swing ride...

I knew that I wanted to swing with you for the rest of my life.

You're the most beautiful, the sweetest and the best.

We've been together 5 years, and I hope at least 50 years more.

Dear Iris, will you marry me? -Iris, say yes.

Iris, answer him. - Say yes.

Yes.

Have you ever bought shoes in the very first shop you entered?

Do you mean that Maurits is your first shop?

Maybe I'd like to try some other shop as well, just to be sure.

You go in my place.

I need those to make cocktails tonight.

Drunken people are less critical and fall in love faster.

Be more creative. Soon you'll have to run the business on your own.

Soon? - When our child is here, I'll work less.

Pizza.

A Vesuvio and a Pompeii. There you go.

Want to make some extra money? - Who, me?

Sure, tell me what to do. - Will you cook with us tonight?

I'm sorry, but dating like this is really lame.

Of course not. All you have to do, is chat a bit.

I'll pay you 50 euros, all right? Three guys cancelled.

Free food and drinks. - Is that how you got him?

70 euros?

Tell me what to do.

Here's an apple. - Thanks.

Shall I come too tonight?

It's something with DJs and performance arts. Really not your thing.

And it's going to be late, so don't wait up for me.

Big kiss. - Bye.

I'm looking forward to cooking with that guy.

Cool it, we're here for me. And I'm not going home alone tonight.

I know.

Nice talking to you. See you later. Bye.

Hey, Edward. - Edwin.

Man, you're ruining my style. I'll take it as a compliment, but stay away from me.

Ferry, what are you doing here? Success requires a lot of practice.

You can take this off. - Don't be crazy, man.

This jacket is really expensive.

What are your preferences? - Blonde.

I mean, meat, fish or vegetarian.

No chatting for hours, no photoshopping. Just pack 'em up and take 'em away.

The real thing.

That's a good one. Let's hope she doesn't whine when I sneak off after sex.

Good luck. - Thanks.

That one will get a lot of attention. Men love those cheap girls.

Hello. What are you doing here? - Exploring the market.

That's what singles do. Or am I not single? You tell me.

You're not on the list. - Yes, I am. Paulien Brinksma.

My mother's maiden name. - You have to leave.

I just got here. - What goes on over here...

that's really not your thing. - Oh, really? it's not?

She doesn't look like a fridge at all.

We're going to cook a tapas menu together.

You'll meet each other in five rounds.

You can dance and after midnight we're going to make cocktails.

When I sound the gong, you change partners...

so that everyone gets the opportunity to meet everyone.

I have a couple of tips for a pleasant evening.

I followed your advice, about getting back in the saddle.

Tell me your name.

Don't talk too much about your work. - I'm on a sabbatical.

Don't talk about your ex. - I definitely won't.

Talk about your hobbies. - Kitesurfing, diving, travelling.

All the good things in life. - Don't forget to fill in your match card.

If the person you like puts a heart next to your name, we have a match.

It could be the start of something beautiful.

Come, let's go inside.

If someone smiles at you, it's meant as an invitation.

I'm not used to this anymore, sorry.

Did I miss anything? - The company profile and logistics.

I'm looking forward to the tasty stuff. I put everything in my mouth.

That's one way of looking at it.

Round 1. - Hi, I'm Farid.

Hi, Marijke.

And you? I think you're working for the police.

Almost correct. I work in the zoo. I take care of the butterflies.

Are you an early bird or a night owl? - I wouldn't know.

I'm used to getting up early, but I try to sleep late in the weekend.

That means you're an early bird. Political affiliation?

Party for the Animals.

Floating.

What's your branch? - I deliver pizzas.

You're still studying. Hotel management? - No.

You deliver pizzas full-time? - I work for my uncle.

How many units do you drink a week?

You've heard a lot about me, but I don't know anything about you.

Do you have any pets? - Let's get the most out of this meeting.

What makes you happy, except for killing cucumbers?

What makes me a happy? A successful closing at the office.

A glass of Chardonnay in Burgundy. A nice man. A shiatsu massage.

What kind of a man are you looking for? - One that doesn't run away.

Is there something I should know? Maybe some scary disease?

I'm a lawyer. - Right, that explains everything.

You're very tense. - I have a great job.

It's my salary that men can't handle. - I can.

Shall I move in with you? - Not so fast.

Imagine, I'm taking you with me on a business trip to New York.

We check into a five-star hotel. - We have great sex.

Maybe a quickie because I have a tight schedule.

You're going sightseeing by yourself because I have to work.

You're ordering room service because I'm eating out with clients.

I'll wait for you in bed.

But first I need to make a conference call.

What I want to say, is that you'll love all the presents I'll give you at first...

but not for long. And if you take me out to dinner...

perhaps in a starred restaurant, which I would really like...

it'll cost you hall a month's pay and you'll still feel like a loser.

Do you think you could handle that?

What kind of woman would suit you? - I don't care.

As long as she breathes, right?

I sometimes dream of a large family at a large table, my family.

If that's what you like.

I like tasty things.

Go ahead and try one. There you go. Don't sting yourself.

I told you not to sting yourself. - You could've told me sooner.

Are you okay? - I'm bleeding.

Dirty bug-

What?

How about hereditary diseases? - Could you stop this cross-examination?

Who cares if we have the same biorhythm?

You're bored, aren't you? So am I.

Partners with the same background, religion, political affiliation and IE1...

will have a longer relationship than if it is based on lust.

Did you know you have these really cute dimples?

Downdating isn't a problem for me if it isn't for you.

You're not very modest. - Why should I be?

I don't think I'll move in with you.

The food's almost ready, people.

Thanks.

What is this? - Melon.

I have to drive.

That Hens is really my type. Will you strike him off your list?

I haven't met him yet.

Just do it, and I'll leave that nerd alone.

I saw you checking him out.

What's wrong with him? - Nothing, if you like dull office types.

Watch out, those are...

very hot.

Did you just skewer me? - I'm afraid I did.

You're going to cook with Edwin. He's over there.

Hi, Edwin. Will you be careful around sharp objects?

What are we making? - A Spanish gnocchi dish.

A culinary challenge. - Esta bueno. Trabajar?

Spanish roots?

Hi, I'm Ferry.

I'm Paulien. I'm not sleeping with you.

I know, because you're already sleeping with him.

He's never going to leave his wife. - I didn't know they were married.

Some stay with their mistress, but 92% of the time the mistress ends up alone.

Lonely, old and shrivelled.

How's it going? - Mine look like meatballs.

How do you get yours to look so nice? - Sensitive fingers.

Right.

I certainly don't have those. At work I kill everything.

I work in the zoo, with pupas and butterflies.

As long as I don't make them go extinct. - How interesting.

You're not doing it right. You have to be more careful.

Put this on.

Honey, you're gaping. What?

It's great that you're hitting it off, but let's cook the food first, yes?

This is my first time, and I find it hard to choose.

It looks as if you've just found a really good match.

That's easy. Just act as if you want to have sex, and they're like putty.

That's nice for one night, but what I want is a long-term relationship.

Can I give you a tip? Ask personal questions.

It's easy to get a guy, but how do I keep him?

Ask him things like: What does true friendship mean to you?

What would you do if you had just one month left to live?

That kind of stuff.

Or, how do you know a relationship is dead?

I'd wait with that one, if I were you. Can you guys clean this up?

I sometimes dream of this long table, with eight chairs...

with a big pan of pasta in the middle, and four kids with red mouths...

Go on.

Never mind.

I'm filling in the form. - What do you mean?

I know it's cheating, but I can't wait until tomorrow.

Let me see that. - You're the only person I like here.

I thought this was a normal cooking course. God, I'm naive.

Yes? - No.

She knew I didn't want this. - Who signed you up for this?

My sneaky colleagues. - See it as something positive.

What a dirty trick. I told her things have to be spontaneous.

What a waste of time. I wish I had stayed at home.

If it weren't for her, we wouldn't have met.

The gnocchi are done. Stir-fry the veggies, add the chorizo...

and then season with salt and pepper.

Where are you going? We're not done yet.

I am done. - Did you fill in the match card?

Meet anyone you like?

I'm not going to have my eggs frozen. - Thank God.

I'll just go to the sperm bank. - Come on, you don't want that.

What else can I do? Keep waiting for years for Mr Right...

while my eggs are downsizing in some freezer.

I'm sorry, I don't want to intrude...

but let me just say that I think that it's a really wise decision.

Seriously? - Yes, I wish I had done that.

My husband didn't want kids yet and then we were much too late.

How old are you, if I may ask? - I'm 36.

Find a man as quickly as you can. Stay out of that hormonal rollercoaster.

IVF. Those hormones were driving me insane.

The follicles wouldn't ripen or the embryo latch on. Horrible.

Years of stress and in the end you have nothing.

Except for these. I used to have a tiny A cup, like that, but now I have a C.

Everything has its advantages. - Off to the sperm bank I go.

Becoming a mother is really high on my bucket list.

You're going to find a great guy tonight. But make sure you don't mention babies.

Yes, that really scares them off. - How do I know if he wants kids or not?

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the next round.

What did you write about me? - External features.

A symmetrical face. - That indicates good health.

Almond-shaped eyes. - One of the seven beauties.

A good figure. Thanks. -It's an advantage.

I teach pole fitness.

Most men think that's sexy.

And some think it's stupid.

Or both.

What do you feel now?

Physical attraction.

And now?

How shall I put it? The blood is draining from my brains.

Darn those dilated blood vessels down there.

Not dumb, and sexy.

I have already met ten guys, but I can't keep them apart.

How do I choose? - Who says you have to choose?

I just thought it would be easier than in the club.

In the club it's much easier than this forced stuff.

I always score in a club. - How do you do it?

I don't know, it goes automatically. Automatically? Not with me.

Please, explain. - Yes, do.

All right, I walk into a place and then I take a look around.

I'm looking for a man that appeals to me...

and then I give him the look.

What look? - The look.

The look. - The look that all men are hoping for.

The look that says: I want you, now. Show it to us.

Yes, give me the look. Seriously? All right then.

Have you started yet? I didn't see that look.

Seriously? Are you blind? - No, you girls are much too subtle.

What do you want me to do? Drag you out of the club by your hair?

It's not clear to me either. What if you just had something in your eye?

Some men obviously need some more encouragement.

I prefer to take the initiative.

How? What's your trick? -It's not a trick, honey, it's skills.

Show us those skills. - All right.

I can belly dance.

And I have a really fast scooter.

And watch this. Pay attention, lady with the look.

Three balls. Nice. - You see? That always works.

How about you? What is your trick? - I don't try to seduce girls.

Sure you do. - I like one type of girl, and that's it.

What type of girl? - Blonde hockey chicks?

Yes. And they seduce me. - One of those, you mean.

Yes.

Hi. We haven't cooked anything together yet.

We haven't? Let's go then.

Show me one of those tricks. - Come, Jenny, time to pee.

Nice lady, check. Charming gentleman, check.

What's missing? - Maybe some music?

You can make the sun shine When you pass by, clouds disappear

And when you smile

The whole world smiles with you

Most dreams are delusions

But when I wake up next to you, I'm still dreaming

I feel you breathing and see your face

You're a dream lying next to me

You look at me, while you stretch

Sometimes dreams really come

True

Wow, that was beautiful. - Thanks.

Something else is missing. - Champagne.

Really? - You bet.

There you go.

Want to lie next to me?

You're really pretty.

How good of you to keep files.

Very efficient. Multiple choice would've been better though.

I alternate multiple choice and open questions to leave room for spontaneity.

I've heard women like spontaneous men. - Definitely.

Here's a spontaneous question for you: What does your ideal summer look like?

Nice weather, 25 degrees on average, no traffic congestion...

colleagues on holiday... - No one bothers you during extra hours.

Yes, I meet all the criteria of a workaholic.

And you? - Absolutely.

I have tonnes of holidays, but no men to spend them with.

That sounds pathetic. I was just kidding. - How many do you have?

Forty days. - I have 42.

I have to use them up this summer.

Would you...

Would you like to go out for dinner with me?

I'm available on the highlighted dates.

Wow, just one hour ago I was thinking about going home.

I even talked about freezing my eggs with a friend.

Aren't you too old to become a mother? - Not at all.

Many women have children at an older age.

After the age of 34 fertility plummets...

and between 35 and 40 there's a 40% chance of miscarriage.

Oh, come on. Newsflash: 70-year-old women can get pregnant nowadays.

Mother and child will both wear nappies, but it's possible.

I'm in my prime and incredibly fertile.

Risks of chromosomal aberrations in eggs increase when a woman...

Sorry about the fuss...

but why is the subject of children or even the word egg-cell taboo?

Is that something we can't discuss, just like you can't talk about your ex?

I think that 90% of all women and men want to have children at some point.

It's not something to be ashamed of. Be honest about it.

I'm Marijke and I want to have children. - Me too.

Me too. - I want children too. But not now.

Me too. - All right, that's cleared up now.

Shall we continue?

Ladies and gentlemen, after this short interlude, go find a new cooking partner.

What did I say about verbal castration?

We really hit it off until I started talking about kids.

He's different from any man I've ever met. I've never had one of those.

You don't have to give every guy you meet a tour through your vagina.

Did you really just say that? - Want a drink?

Is this your table? I believe you need to go over there.

Can I skip this one?

Hens, here I am. - He was looking for you.

I'll be honest with you, I suck at cooking.

Here, taste this. - Is that fish? I don't like fish.

You don't? - No.

Tell me something about yourself. - What would you like to know?

When did you last cry? - I never cry.

You really need to go.

Go on then. Go and pee.

Want some? - I don't.

You must be thinking that... No.

It's a brownie. Have a bite.

It's really nice.

Hi, I'm Farid. - Hi.

How do you think you will die? A bizarre accident? A chronic disease?

A cardiac arrest during kinky sex, or while you sleep?

How about a normal question? - Define normal.

About my holidays, or... - That's not what life is about.

It's about the essential stuff that allows you to look into someones soul.

How's your relationship with your mom?

It's good.

Are your parents proud of you?

Yes.

Are you always this short-winded?

Yes.

Do you think I'm weird? - You bet.

Jesus. - Your mind is rooted in your prejudices.

Here, taste this.

Tasty?

You like fish, alter all.

I'm sorry, I was wrong. Sharing that information was too confrontational.

Can I make it up to you with that dinner?

I'm sorry too, for making such a fuss.

Can I have my tablet back now?

Hi there. - Hi.

Everything cool?

These look like salads with too much dressing.

I'm not a rabbit.

You have pretty eyes.

All right, I'll be going then.

What are your other hobbies? - I'll tell you, Stephanie.

I like cooking, taking walks in nature, and playing golf.

I happen to love that too. - And philosophical conversations?

Do you have three hours? - As a matter of fact, I do.

I think we're a perfect match. - I think so too.

I think you're allergic.

What do you think you're doing? - He's more flexible than expected.

This is not your style. - Numbers don't lie.

Trevor calculated it, and we have a 84% match.

That must be a miscalculation.

You go and check it, while I dance some more.

You had a match, right? - Yes, but I'm going for someone else.

You're successful tonight. - May I have this dance?

Things aren't going well. Two girls are fighting over one man.

One has gone home, and Farid is nowhere to be found.

Let's set a good example and sell our product.

Bor, I need to work. It'd be nice if you did that too.

How are we going to support a child without money?

I want to be the best mother possible for Femke.

What? Femke? - Right, what did you think?

I thought that maybe she already had a name. Wi-Yu or something.

Wi-Yu van der Broek. That sounds awful.

What's wrong with Femke? Femke means 'girl'. I like it.

I don't want to talk about this now. -It's about our child.

Are you pregnant?

No. - Yes.

We're going to adopt a child. From China. She's so beautiful.

Why don't you go and dance with her?

'We're going to adopt a child from China' isn't consistent...

with 'my marriage is as warm as the Antarctic'.

Or 'my wife has antifreeze running through her veins'.

My marriage perhaps isn't as bad as I described it.

I can imagine you're a little bit angry. - You have seen nothing yet.

I want to know where I stand.

Of course, I get that.

I want to know tonight. - No. I mean, I...

What's wrong here? A gorgeous woman all by herself.

Why don't you go get me a drink?

Forget about that drink. I'll show you something else.

Not on my dress. - I'm sorry, this never happens.

I'm sorry. I can do it again later. What's your name?

I'm marking my erogenous zones. - You have so many.

If I'm taking someone home, he knows exactly where he needs to be.

How can I sit quietly at home with our child if things go like this?

We need matches, people in love. - Breathe in and breathe out.

That's it.

Everything is dark. Only candles are burning.

During stress situations hormones called endorphins are produced.

These make them think they're in love. Just wait and see what happens.

You'll spoil everyone's evening and they'll want their money back.

Or they all fall in love.

We're not doing this.

Hi, a red wine, please.

Ferry, have you seen Chantal? - That boring girl.

We hit it off. - Did you? If so, you'd have her number.

Do you have her number? - Actually, I don't.

Congratulations. In every course there's a hopeless case. This time it's you.

You haven't learned a thing, have you? That pain won't be going away soon.

Hey, why are you so sad? - Never mind.

But...

Do you want to talk about it? It's not good to bottle things up.

Come here.

Stop that. I want to be alone for a while.

Hey, Edwin. - Hey.

I need to be alone for a while.

No one should be alone.

Who would want me?

I'm sure there's someone.

Right.

Come on.

This is nice.

Come on, let's make some cocktails.

Stupid bitch.

Something terrible has happened. Lightning has struck.

Lightning? - Yes, the fuse box has exploded.

There's no electricity. - Come on, we have to get out of here.

No, stay. We'll make those desserts in the dark.

It's not dangerous, Mika. - I hate thunderstorms.

Look at how beautiful it is. Look at those flashes. It's really far away.

One, two, three, four, fi...

That thing isn't working.

The roof won't close.

Come on, work.

Brilliant. - Can you take over?

Wow.

So, this car is yours? - It is.

I remember the first time I went to work in my new car.

I felt like a queen.

But every day... - The kick became less.

Yes. That's right.

I thought the happy feeling would last longer.

You don't find it in material stuff.

I'll turn on the air conditioning. - Don't.

How are things over here?

Nice and warm. What were you guys talking about?

We're having a conversation.

If you want to know something about a girl, ask her girlfriends.

I've known Marijke since high school. They used to call her Bugs Bunny there.

They did a good job on that, even though plastic surgery was still in its infancy.

I prefer to focus on the present. Banking and finance, you said.

Come on, guys, it's Saturday evening. Let's not talk about work.

Where did they teach you to dance like that? I want to learn it too.

Or maybe you could give me a private lesson.

Daniélle was also known as Bugs Bunny, but for other reasons.

She was very hormonal. Did you do the gym teacher as well?

I try to enjoy life. Have fun and everything.

As long as you do it safely.

What are you implying? - Let's keep it friendly.

What do you mean? - You're an STD on legs.

STDs can get you infertile. - She already is.

It slipped out. I never would've said it if you didn't...

If I didn't what? - You started about Bugs Bunny.

It's occupied.

I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I feel bad about it.

Why is everything always about you?

I don't stand a chance compared to you. - You're always playing the victim.

I work really hard to look nice...

while you're wasting your best years in the office.

You came along to help me. But how do things turn out?

You try to get the only man I'm interested in.

I can't help it that I like him. - Oh, come on.

For you it's just the flavour of the week. It's completely different for me.

I like him. - You're going to screw it up again.

That's what you do every time. - Not this time. I really like him.

I've never felt like this before.

Let me put it this way: If you don't leave Trevor alone, our friendship is over.

That was pretty intense.

What's that on your wrist? - Nothing.

I cut myself while peeling potatoes.

Ten times in a row? Why?

I can't remember.

Seriously?

How can you forget something like that?

Maybe it was raining. Or my favourite biscuits were sold out.

Or I had a flat tyre. I really can't remember.

Sometimes everything turns pitch black.

What a downer. Let's change the subject.

No. Explain it to me some more.

How do you mean, black?

Have you ever had such a bad hangover and felt so horrible...

that you just wanted to curl up and die?

I have.

That's what I call light grey.

Black feels a million times worse.

Would you do it again?

No, you can't get blood stains out of carpets. Next time I'll take pills.

What?

And what's that? What is it?

I've marked my erogenous zones.

Just in case.

Here.

It's really handy.

You idiot, watch where you're going.

I'm sorry. Here are some dry clothes. - Thanks.

That colour looks good on you. - Thanks.

Here are some leftovers. - Nice.

You almost stepped on it.

And now go straight for goal.

What's wrong? - Nothing.

Focus, Edward. Focus on those headlights.

Would you like a piece of cake? - No, I want you.

Aren't we eager?

Testosterone cannon.

Maybe you should leave.

Well, I could use a drink. - White Lady?

What do we drink to? - A happy end?

To a happy end it is. - Yes, it's better like this.

How do they say it?

Right? - That's nice.

I'll cherish the memories. - Yes, of course.

I'm sure you have a few.

Like that one time when we were in a traffic jam and no one could see us.

And you have the nicest behind I have ever kissed.

You thought that I... - Yes, that's what I thought.

We belong together. I thought you'd choose me.

You were arguing. You're not wearing your wedding ring.

Yes, that's because of the hamburgers.

I'm choosing Alexandra. - I don't believe you.

If you had one month to live, with whom would you want to be?

It's your life, Bor. Choose that which makes you happy.

I am. - No, you're not.

Listen, Alexandra and I have been trying for years to get a child.

Now we can adopt one.

If she finds out, you'll destroy everything.

You can't destroy something that is already destroyed. You want me.

I know that.

Now you know.

I love him, and he loves me. - Well...

For how long? - Three months and six days.

I have to...

Honey, I... - You, bastard. Three months.

She's not even your type.

I was lonely. You sat behind your laptop, day and night.

I was looking for a child to adopt.

You, traitor.

Calm down. It didn't mean anything. - That makes it even worse.

I'll pack my stuff tonight, and then I'll leave.

Come back here. I'm not done yet.

What about our child? - I don't know.

Maybe you should do it by yourself. - I can't do it by myself.

I'm sorry.

Why throw away four years of marriage?

Everyone has a moment of weakness. - Many moments of weakness.

One very long moment of weakness.

I won't let my family happiness be destroyed by some slutty bitch...

who can't keep her claws off of someone else's husband.

Bor, I want to do this together with you.

Every week I see those poor and lonely souls come in here...

looking for a partner. I know how they feel, because we were like that too.

Coming home every evening to a dark, empty house.

Watch the Eurovision Song Contest with the dog.

Stepping into an empty bed by yourself.

We did find that happiness.

We're Bor, Alexandra and Femke. So put that wedding ring back on.

I don't like Femke as a name. - My mother's name is Femke.

But is she Chinese? - No.

Can these poor, lonely people finally go home now?

If you give us your match cards, we'll let you know the results within 24 hours.

I hope you had a pleasant and fruitful evening.

And now? - Now?

Now we're going to kiss.

Why are you laughing? You really shouldn't.

It's those hairs. I'm sorry.

This won't work. - I'll get over it.

No. - It'll pass.

We're going home, Jenny and I.

I like you, but I just met you, and I've known Jenny all her life.

88 years in dog years.

If we say goodbye now, it won't hurt as much.

Are we going to your place? - No, to yours.

We can't. There's asbestos in my home. - How about a hotel?

My girlfriend and I have an open relationship.

An open relationship...

Does she know that too, or did you decide that by yourself?

She probably has her secrets too.

If this stays between us, no one will know about it.

It was a nice day.

Fine.

Don't decide now. I'll hear what the results are.

Should I go after her?

I'll go.

There.

I'm going to learn to cook Chinese. I want Femke to feel at home.

How about Chinese takeaway? Femke is takeaway too.

And I'll take Chinese classes with her. In case she wants to go find her family.

We'll record everything. All the things we see there, the orphanage...

As a souvenir.

I'll have to buy a selfie stick. - I'll make those pictures.

No, you won't.

I'll buy a selfie stick.

I'm sorry, it's not your fault.

You and me.

Mika. Mika.

Mika, wait.

Could you stop here?

Mika.

Keep going.

Mika, wait.

I love you too. - Yes?

Time out.

Don't you like it? -It's pretty intense.

Take it easy.

There you go.

Hi.

I brought Jenny away for the day. - I'm coming.

I never want to see you again. - Wait, Steph.

Steph, wait.

Look what I've brought. Pizza with dog treats.

You like that, don't you? And I brought you something too.

A pizza in eight pieces.

Pizza funghi, pepperoni, quatro formaggi, a bit of everything.

I don't know what you like. - Player.

That was my sister.

But it's all too complicated. - What's complicated?

Is that complicated? - No.

I'm sorry.

You have it really bad. It'll never get better.

Stephanie, hold on. I don't care if my eyes burn or my nose fills up.

All I want, is to be with you.

I've never met anyone who made me feel this way.

And I don't mean the allergy.

I'll take all the necessary tablets. Or else I'll keep a one metre distance.

Do you like taking walks? - Yes, and running after balls.

And I'm as loyal as a dog. Really.

You forgot one.

Waiting for your decision was more exciting than a court case.

What made you decide to choose me?

What are you doing here? - I could ask you the same thing.

You both scored equally high on my graphs.

He can't choose. I don't want your leftovers.

Leftover? - You're never satisfied.

You need to look in the mirror. - I don't have as much time as you.

I invited you both because I was hoping we'd find a solution together...

to find out which one matches best.

Marijke, we have so much in common.

Danielle, when we danced, I really felt something.

Something? Just Google the word 'erection'.

Right, I'm off. - No, hold on.

Just wait a minute. Maybe you can race around the fountain.

What? - One or two rounds.

And the one who finishes first, wins.

That's a really bad idea. I'm sorry. I apologize.

Don't just stand there. Go on. - No, you go.

You can have him. - I don't want him anymore.

You should have chosen. Not with your head or tablet, but with your heart.

Is that so difficult? - Yes.

But I think I know now. - Too late.

Want to go for a wine? - Yes.

I said that I knew, but she wasn't listening.

Send her some flowers. That's how dad did it with mom.

Or buy her a present. - She has everything.

Everything? - She drives a Mercedes.

I don't know, I've never sent anyone flowers. Would that help?

You won't know until you try, uncle Trevor.

From Trevor.

Remove it. It looks like a crematorium in here.

Sensitive fingers.

Think about what I taught you: compliment, introduction, action. Go.

Try to trigger that positive memory. Go.

That blue one is nice.

Do you try to bore her to sleep and then snuggle up to her with your hard-on?

Come on, force that next step.

I had found her. The sweetest and most beautiful girl.

You spoiled it with your smooth talk. - I'm busy here.

If I were an ice cream, I'd melt for you. - Good. Well done.

Not good at all. Don't listen to him. He'll spoil everything.

I really like you. I want to... - Don't start talking about sex.

Say you want to mate like a bonobo. - Don't.

I want to mate with you like a bonobo.

Maybe we should start by having a drink.

See? That's how you do it.

If you still don't get that, there's nothing I can teach you, Edward.

You know what you should learn? What?

To respect women.

Chantal.

Get out of here. Chantal.

Chantal. Chantal, please.

Chantal, I've looked for you everywhere.

Don't talk to the driver - Chantal, please.

Can everyone move to the back as much as possible?

I need to apologize to you. - Wiltzanghlaan.

I'm sorry about the other day. I was rude, but I'm not like that at all.

I did things that I didn't want to do, but I thought I had to do them to score.

I don't know who the real Edwin is.

That sensitive guy I was cooking with, or that idiot who tried to assault me.

It's the first. I'm a really normal guy, you know.

All I do, is read books about entomology. - What's that?

That's the science of insects. Very interesting.

I'll never act like that again, I swear.

Can I take you out for dinner? - Sloterdijk railway station, terminus.

No pressure. We can also go to a snack bar or grab a coffee.

Or if the weather is nice, do a coffee-to-go.

Look, it's a whole family now.

Way to go, Chantal.

It's so cute. Look, I'm right here.

Mommy is here with you. My little baby.

Are you getting tired?

My little sweetheart.

Trevor. At home, at the office. He's been stalking me all week.

What did he send you?

Nothing.

No way. - Take it easy.

Marijke will be right here. - Go away.

She thinks we're going out for lunch. - But...

Surprise her.

Did she get my flowers?

She thought they were beautiful.

Hi. - You?

How are you?

I'm going to have lunch with Daniélle.

Please, listen to me.

That other person's high score was based on a miscalculation.

Marijke, wait.

You were my ideal match. - He doesn't have an appointment.

I was blinded by the calculations, numbers and data.

You told me to follow my heart. I'm doing that now.

Would you like an appointment with another employee?

Setting up a new office in the US is quite a challenge.

But Dutch lawyers are bold and know what they're doing.

Marijke. Will you please listen to me? This is really important.

We'll start with tax law and corporate lawyers.

First Chicago, then New York and Atlanta.

The big cities, that's where we want to get a foothold.

They know what they're doing.

Didn't he do Emergent Sky Finance? - Trevor, go away.

Trevor van der Berg, that's his name. Very smart guy.

Marja, can you call security?

They're... - Vermeulen. Yes, I can see that.

I can no longer eat, I can no longer sleep.

I make a mess of things at work. You're constantly on my mind.

All I can think of is you.

What does your tablet say? - What does your tablet say?

Google recognized all the symptoms.

And what do you think? - And what do you think?

I know for certain... - That I'm madly in love with you.

No, that I love you.

May I kiss you?

I would like to take a few days off. As of now.

How many holidays does she have? - Forty, sir.

It was high time.

Be careful, it's hot.

I thought this love could never happen. - But lightning always strikes twice.

I thought that was a myth. - I just said it to comfort you.

You may even run into a human ape.

Someone who comes to give me a kiss at work every day.

I never want to have a secret love again.

Now I have a lover who wants to show me to the whole world.

Every night.

Or loving yourself. - That's what I'll teach you.

Ladies, attack.

Loving your fellow man. I love all of them, and they love me.

Loving a girl that takes my breath away.

I'm quite breathtaking, you know. - Luckily I have an inhaler.

Loving someone you want to share the rest of your life with.

I thought that I had found my great love in Bor.

But I was wrong. My great love is my daughter, Femke.

I had found my soulmate and lost him again.

But he came back and all I had to say then, was:

I love you too.

Translation: Neven Curlin BTI Studios