Original subtitles

Hello.

Hello?

Hello?

Who is this?

Hello?

Who the hell is this?

I first started thinking about my old boyfriends

about two months ago.

I wish I knew how it started, but once it started,

I couldn't stop it.

I think it was around my birthday.

I began reading my old diaries again, over and over.

I read about my parents and teachers, but mostly

I read about old boyfriends.

I realized that if I could figure out who I was

when I loved them then, I would know who I am now,

and maybe love myself too.

Action!

We elected that long-haired cowboy,

and what happened?

First thing he does is turn Colorado

into a garbage dump,

and for what?

A fast buck.

Then, he has the gall to raise his salary.

Well, I say...

"Enough dead fish."

Throw the bum out.

- Cut. - Was that okay?

First of all, try not to hit yourself in the face

with a dead fish, because it looks

unnecessarily stupid, and secondly,

it sounds like "celery."

When you say, "raise his salary,"

it sounds like he's growing vegetables.

- How about if I say "pay"? - No, I want "salary"!

"Wages," I could say, "raise his wages."

No?

What lens size are you in? “What difference does it make?

Look, it may be a joke to you, but my face is my fortune,

all right... what?

The pollution machine is jammed.

Jesus Christ, I don't believe it.

It's ironic!

All right, take five minutes.

- Hi. - Hi.

Uh, you a friend of Jeff's?

- Maybe. - Oh, just a friend.

- Know much about films? - Not much.

Uh-huh.

Making films is the greatest,

and I'm really getting into directing myself.

Machine fixed.

Okay, Sam, you and the horse,

back in the water.

I'll catch you later.

Star power, you and me.

I'm not kidding.

Okay, roll, please.

Action!

We elected that long-haired cowboy,

and what happened?

First thing he does is turn Colorado

into a garbage dump.

And for what?

For a fast fuck.

Well I...

Oh, for Christ!

Look, it's the horse, he's got me worried.

All right, cut!

Cut, we'll do it again.

"February 9th, 1967.

Dear diary,

I'd never want to marry anybody but Jeff.

I'd be safe, yet I can't marry him.

Every day I put off telling him only makes it worse.

There's no way I can be myself and a wife.

Why does he think it's so simple?"

Have you ever met a guy here and gone out with him

- more than once? - No.

- Yeah. - No.

Oh yeah, I know, I work at a singles bar.

- Really? - Swear to god.

I'm going to point Percy at the porcelain.

I'll be right back.

- All right, well anyways. - It wasn't the greatest...

Have you ever seen the spoon trick?

- Oh this is... - Jerry, could we have

- like four spoons right away? - Yes, sir.

And this is guaranteed, really, guaranteed to...

Those spoons... guaranteed to stop every chick in the joint, here.

All right, now you take your spoon, and you start

to rub it with your thumb, now you've gotta rub your nose,

all right, at the same time.

Now wait, 'cause this works.

- It doesn't work. - I guarantee.

It works... the most beautiful women in the world...

You watch... go for this.

Now, breathe on it,

and hang the spoon on the end of your nose.

Wait, there's one... Oh, she didn't see.

Oh, here comes one, come over here, come here.

Oh, now, don't you like my spoon?

Confess... oh, don't go away, aww.

All right, did you ever see a glacier?

I did in Norway, incredible.

- Three months I was there. - Norway, what are you

- talking about Norway for? - Fantastic.

- I'm talking about Norway to... - This is about spoons.

Spoons, schmoons, talk to me about Norway.

Listen, I'd like to buy you a drink.

Too late.

Sure I can't buy you a drink?

I'm sure.

I'd like to buy you a drink.

I got a cameo on Starsky and Hutch.

Huh, why don't you come on out to my winnebago?

Still fishing, Sammy?

See you in Hollywood.

Yeah, sure, I'll call you when I need an extra.

Fighting 'em off today.

Excuse me.

Oh yeah?

Jerry, could I have my drink down here?

Um, look.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

- So long, Jeff. - Good night, guys, take it easy.

- Huh, don't I? - You've got to be kidding me.

Come on, I know I know you.

Of course you know me, Jeffrey turrin.

You only asked me to marry you three times.

- Dianne cruise. - That's very good.

Yeah, it was three times.

How many diannes did you propose to?

Oh uh, only one, I mean, one was enough,

'cause I did it three times, I mean.

Listen, I'm sorry, I mean, but my god, it's been ten years.

You know, I...

You've changed, I mean, you used to have hair

halfway down your back, you look different.

Obviously.

Yeah, but for the better.

You know, how could I be expecting you right now?

Of course I recognized you.

I saw you out there on the set today.

You... you... you did not.

- Yes I did, yes I did. - You did not.

And you ordered seven over seven,

just like you used to.

Oh my god, how do you drink that stuff?

- That's terrible. - I know.

Would you like a... wouldn't you like a cup of coffee?

- Yes. - Okay, Jerry,

can we get a cup of coffee?

So, come on, what are you doing up here?

I'm on vacation.

- Really? - Mhm.

- You married? - Mhm, are you?

Yeah, me too.

Huh.

Hm, and what do you do for a living?

I teach sociology at ucla.

- Sounds impressive. - It's not as impressive

as I thought it would be.

And what about you, I mean, how are you?

I'm not as impressive as I thought I would be either.

- Why? - Too many expectations, maybe.

Hasn't been very comfortable.

Ah, yeah, well...

Where's your husband?

Uh, I came without him.

- Problems? - Yeah.

Who split, you or him?

He did, he killed himself.

- Where's your car? - Over there.

- That's your car? - Mhm.

Hey, I got... l know a guy in town, he can paint

some flames for you, kinda curling up around...

Maybe a nude, wriggling on the hood.

You really drove this thing all the way from L.A.?

I did.

Not tonight.

We always made such good love.

I know.

Where can I meet you tomorrow?

Here is fine.

What time? 7:30 okay?

Mhm.

How do I know you won't take off?

You don't.

How long you been in town?

Long enough to find you.

Hey.

Then you won't take off?

And now, it's time for your date

with the continental.

Forgive me, darling, it's only...

Do you know... you know I've always wanted to, uh,

fo thank you for...

For making me so happy.

With the pains you take to...

To always look at your best.

So well-dressed, well-groomed, well-coiffed.

And all for me.

Oh yes, I've heard... I've heard it said

that women are supposed to dress to please themselves.

But you and I know better.

The story must've been started by a man,

who wanted to blame you instead of himself

for those little charge accounts

you open with such gay abandon.

Come here.

What is it, you call it,

for such a necklace.

This needless necklace.

It's not the...

Let's go to a motel, all right?

We'll go to a motel, and make love all night.

We can't lose, not you and me.

What do you say?

How are you?

Your hair's wet.

Yeah, I took a shower.

You could catch a cold.

No, no, no, that's mommy's talk.

You never catch a cold.

What do you wanna do?

It's your town.

Yeah, that's the problem.

I... 1 don't know what to do, I mean.

- There's this place. - No.

Yeah, no, okay.

Well, um... think fast.

- Are you hungry? - No.

Okay, you wanna go to a movie?

- No. - Um.

- I could use a drink. - Please, Jeff,

let's go to a motel, okay?

Let's go to my motel.

And?

And we could talk.

Are you in some kind of trouble?

No.

Because I don't need it, you know.

Jeff.

What?

Please, Jeff, I wanna be near you.

Okay.

Let's go to your motel.

"March 1st, 1967.

Jeff reaches inside me and pulls me out.

It's scary and wonderful.

He pulls out a person I don't know.

A person I'm not sure I want to know.

[ Only wish I loved me as much as he does.”

Will you stay? “Ah.

God, I wish I could.

But I have to help my kid get off to school

in the morning.

Can't your wife do that?

Huh, yeah, I suppose she could.

Except she's living with some guy up in Vancouver.

Yeah, she says he's an artist.

You're divorced?

No, we're working on it.

- Oh, gee. - These things take time.

She doesn't have custody?

I don't think she wants custody.

Yeah, she just packed up and left one day.

She never said anything,

she didn't bother to fight.

I think it was 'cause of something she read

in some women's magazine.

About the dull, tedious life of a housewife.

So, she packed up.

And now,

I'm a working mother.

She'll probably come back.

No, no, no, what would I do if she did?

- You'd take her back. - No way.

Why?

Listen, you need a drink?

Why?

'Cause...

She doesn't know what she wants.

She doesn't know what's good, what's bad.

And besides,

I've been through too much to go through it all again.

I know the feeling.

Sometimes I think it's better if they die.

I mean, at least you can hate what killed 'em.

I don't know, instead of hating yourself,

hating each other.

At least you can start all over again.

I'm sorry I said that, I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. - It's okay.

I'm sorry, no.

Can you believe

that loves horses?

Oh-ho, and you're a horse trainer.

Right? Aren't I?

Mhm.

Come on, I always told you I'd be a filmmaker.

- And? - And I am!

Documentaries... I made a film that's been seen

by a couple million people.

- Really, mm? - Yes.

Really.

It's about the ocean.

- I made it for texaco. - You...

I waited two years for you to ask me.

And then when I did, you didn't know what to do.

You said we'd go to the same graduate school,

I'd get my m.A. And we'd be the perfect couple.

Joan baez and Bob Dylan.

That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Hey, shut up and do the dishes, kid.

Did you really say that, dad?

Yeah, I guess I did, Jesus.

Well, you know what she said, "when we get married,

can I have greatness?”

That sounds pretty dumb, too.

Yeah, we were kinda dumb in those days.

I wanted to do something with my life.

And did you?

Not so good, I guess.

- Could you help me? - What do you need?

I'd like to make my hair look like yours.

I'm not very good with hair, but let's see what we can do.

- How tall are you? - Your height.

Take off those boots.

You see, I'm your height, now let's go over there

and do your hair.

First time I cut my hair I got into terrible trouble.

My father and I, we have the same color hair,

and it was Christmas, and I thought,

"gee, he's losing his hair,” so I cut some of mine off.

A lot of it actually, bagged it up,

gave it to him.

And he opened it up, and he cried,

because it was the first time he realized he was losing his.

I've always wanted to cut off my hair

and make a wig to give somebody.

- Goodnight, Dylan. - Goodnight.

- Hello. - Hi.

Did you put the cat out?

You're lucky.

Oh, why's that?

You've got something to show for your marriage.

Yeah, I do.

She likes you.

That's major for Dylan.

What would have happened if we had gotten married?

I don't know.

I was just thinking that myself.

What if I asked you now?

What if I said, "yes"?

I don't know.

I'd think you were putting me on.

Does that mean you don't want to?

- What? - Try again.

Dianne.

I don't even know you anymore now.

Now, what's it been?

Two days and three nights?

How can you find out if you won't take a chance?

What makes you think it'd be any different between us now?

I mean, maybe it will be, but you gotta give it time,

you can't just pick these things up again

like a book that you never finished.

Yes, we can.

That's bullshit, sweetheart.

No, it's not.

You just want me to ask you,

so you can shoot me down again.

- That's not true. - Yes, it is.

Jeff.

What have you got to lose?

Everything.

How can you be so sure?

Just take my word for it.

Okay, I'm not sure.

Because I can feel you now.

And you bring out all that need.

Oh my god.

What the hell are you doing?

- I got you. - Oh good.

- I do. - Oh yeah?

What are you gonna do to me?

- Everything. - Great.

Dianne?

Hi, I'm looking for dianne cruise,

she's in room 121.

Oh, she checked out.

- What? - Yeah.

Er, when?

This morning.

Let me see the registration card.

You can't see that.

Oh come on, she must've left an address or a phone number.

- No. - How about a credit card number?

No, she paid cash.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Where's dianne?

Gone.

Gone”?

That's right. Where?

How should I know?

"December 12th, 1962.

I walked over to Eric's house, and he was working on his car.

He asked me if I wanted to go for a spin.

I about died right there.

Around here, they judge a person 'cause he has a car

or smokes, stuff like that.

Eric plays the guitar, so you know that

teachers are gonna hate him no matter what else he does."

- Room service. - Hi, this is room 1203,

could you send up a fifth of Dewar's scotch, please?

A fifth of Dewar's scotch for room 12083.

Yes, and could you put red ribbon around it?

- A red ribbon around it. - Yes, thank you.

Eric's formal wear.

Hi, I'm dianne brinks and I'm staying at the pilgrim inn,

and I've gotten myself into a terrible bind.

I'm wondering if you could help me.

- Yes, what is it? - I'm being given an award

at the teacher's conference banquet tonight,

and they forgot to tell me it's formal, and...

And I've got to speak in three hours.

Well, it's really too late.

Well, I know it's a lot to ask, but I wear a standard size 9,

and if you could just drop off a formal dress,

it would get me out of a very rough spot.

I'd be willing to pay any extra service charge.

Well, the boys have gone home for the night,

so there would be an extra charge.

Then, you can bring one over?

I'm getting ready to close.

I'll drop it off myself.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Come in, the key is in the door.

Mrs. brinks?

It's Eric's formal wear.

I brought the dress!

Just a moment.

I brought along a size 11 also.

Just in case it didn't fit, they run a little small.

- Thanks very much. - Hey, you're dianne cruise!

Dianne cruise from central high, don't you remember me?

Eric katz.

Eric, oh Eric, my god!

Oh my god, of course, I didn't expect to...

Oh Eric, look, we gotta talk, but let me take these,

I gotta try these on.

- Yeah. - There's a bottle of scotch

over there that they sent me, open it, pour yourself a drink,

and I'll be right back.

Eric!

I always knew you'd get into women's clothes,

but I think this is ridiculous.

Yeah... yeah, well me and the boys were playing

a lot of high school proms, you know?

You remember my band, don't you?

We used to wear those red shirts with the blue Dickies,

and we used to wear the blue shirts,

you could see the Dickie right through.

Well, anyway, I realized I could make some money in clothes.

You know, the kids have to rent tuxes and formals to proms.

So, why not rent 'em from me, Eric katz,

the guy who plays the proms.

That way I could promote my band and the store at the same time.

It turned out to be a pretty big thing.

So,

no more Ricky and the pink eyes?

Never was Ricky and the pink eyes,

it was Ricky and the red eyes.

But now we changed the name to bloodshot.

You know, you gotta keep up with the times.

Hey, maybe you can come hear us sometime?

Oh, that would be nice, but I...

Hey listen, tonight, we're playing at

the holiday inn north.

We got a gig there every weekend this month.

Gee, I have this banquet tonight.

Hell, we play till they shut us down 2:30 A.M.

All night long, late hours don't bother me.

I got nothing to go home to ever since

me and the old lady broke up.

Listen, when you're finished with your banquet,

why don't you drop by?

I'll have them set up a tab for you.

That's not necessary.

Now, we play everything.

Jazz, pop, rock, country,

mood music, nostalgia,

and nobody can walk away saying they didn't

get their money's worth.

Come on, what do you say?

It's been 15, 16 years.

Come on, 1-5, 1-6,

how many years has it been?

Come on, we've got a lot to talk about.

Well.

Maybe.

# warden threw a party in a county jail #

# prison band was there, they began to wail #

# the band was jumpin' and this joint began to swing #

# you should've heard those knocked out jailbirds sing #

# let's rock #

# everybody, let's rock #

# everybody in the whole cell block #

# was dancin' to the jailhouse rock #

# spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone #

# little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone #

# the drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang #

# the whole rhythm section was the purple gang #

# let's rock #

# everybody, let's rock #

# everybody on the whole cell block #

# was dancin' to the jailhouse rock #

# well, number forty-seven said to number three #

# "you're the cutest jailbird I ever did see #

# I sure would be delighted with your company #

# come on and do the jailhouse rock with me #

# let's rock #

# everybody, let's rock #

# everybody on the whole cell block #

# was dancin' to the jailhouse rock #

# was dancin' to the jailhouse rock #

# was dancin' to the jailhouse rock #

# was dancin' to the jailhouse rock #

# everybody on the whole cell block #

# oh, was dancin' to the jailhouse rock #

huh, woo, oh!

Thank you, Elvis.

Elvis, the king, what can you say about him?

I guess he said, he said it all, for all of us.

Okay, we're gonna slow this way down.

Do another song from way back.

A favorite of mine, dedicated to a special lady in the audience.

You know who you are.

I was fortunate enough to work with the duprees

15 years ago, and if you're too young to remember this song,

all I can say is "c'est dommage."

One, two, three, four.

Three, four.

# see the pyramids

along the nile #

# watch the sunrise

on a tropic isle #

# just remember, darling,

all the while #

# you belong to me #

"this is the worst day of my whole life.

Eric told all the guys at school I went all the way.

I can't believe I ever let him touch me.

We were at lookout park and he ripped off my underpants.

I threw his ring at him and ran away."

# maybe you'll be lonesome too

and blue #

on, terrific.

# fly the ocean

in a silver plane #

# watch the jungle

when it's wet with rain #

# just remember #

# when you're home again

you belong to me #

Thank you very much.

Thank you, thank you.

- Oh, thank you. - Thank you very much.

Okay, the band's gonna take a little pause for the cause,

be back in about 15 minutes.

Need a brew.

Ain't this joint the pits?

You don't do your Dr. cool routine anymore.

The bill Haley bit?

Nah, I'm getting a little too old for that, you know.

Well, sometimes at parties, you know, when people

really get up.

Say listen, why don't you stay at my place tonight?

It'd be a lot more comfy than your hotel.

No, not really.

Well, you can just come by and we can talk old times.

I can't, it's late.

Come on.

What are you fighting it for?

- We know what we both want. - You think you know what I want?

Still playing hard to get, huh?

Well, some people never change.

- You haven't. - Nah.

Fall in a shit pile, come out smelling like a Rose.

It's the story of my life... Come on, let's go to my place,

relax, come on.

Spinning your wheels, Eric.

Uh, it's late anyway.

Listen, we're playing a dance tomorrow at north high,

why don't you fall by?

- I don't think I can. - Yeah, you can.

You gotta see us when we really party down.

Come on, it'll be like old time, you're gonna love it.

Okay, what time?

Pick you up at eight, don't be late.

Pick you up at seven, and we'll fly to heaven.

I'll come later and meet you there.

Now you're talking, baby.

- How are you? - Hi.

- Have a seat. - Thanks.

Would you like some coffee?

Yeah, that'd be nice, uh, just black.

Sue Anne, can we get some coffee for Mr. turrin?

Black.

So, what's your problem?

Oh, uh.

I'm trying to locate this woman who, I know for a fact,

used to live here about seven years ago.

Her maiden name was dianne cruise.

Mm.

Do you want some coffee, art?

No.

C-r-u-i-s-e, right?

You have any idea where she might be?

No, I saw her up in Colorado about a week ago.

She was driving a firebird

with California plates.

Why'd she come to L.A.?

To go to graduate school, I think.

What were her majors?

English and philosophy, I think.

No, no, wait a minute.

Psychology was the other major.

Which did she intend to pursue?

I don't know.

See, we broke up a couple of months before graduation.

This may take a little time, can you cover my expenses?

Yeah, how much?

$100 a day, $250 minimum.

Long-distance calls, mailing expenses, and travel

- are extra. - How long will it take?

Couple... two or three days.

Um.

And we're talking about $3007?

An employment agreement.

Ah, that's an awful lot of money to pay out

without my knowing if I'm gonna get results.

Mr. turrin, look around this office, I mean,

do you think I furnished it by not getting results?

I'll tell you what I'll do.

If you're worried,

and I can see that you are,

if... if I don't find her in five days,

I'll give you half your money back,

if a month goes by, I'll give you the whole thing back.

Does that guarantee enough for you?

Yeah, sounds fair enough.

Fine.

Sue Anne, would you come in here, please?

Sue Anne, will you take Mr. turrin's checks,

and give him a receipt?

And get me bill spieloff

at the teacher's association, and Terry Johnson

at the L.A. society of clinical psychologists.

Sure.

Well, I'll call you in the morning.

I'm staying at the holiday inn in Hollywood.

What's your hurry?

Have some more coffee, help yourself.

Sue Anne has to get you those receipts.

Yeah?

Okay.

Hey, Terry.

I'm trying to run down a woman who did some post-grad work

in psych in the L.A. area in the late '60s.

Maybe got her degree, maybe didn't.

She may have done some volunteer work

at one of the clinics.

Her maiden name is dianne cruise.

Mhm.

Over near 20th.

What's her married name?

Got a social security number?

Okay.

Thanks, Terry.

Carol, art kopple here.

Get me an address on 1024

40670.

You got anybody else you wanna find?

No.

Yeah.

Thanks, Carol.

Here's her married name, her home address and phone,

her business address and phone.

Jesus Christ.

We do real fast work.

# I been up, I been down,

let me take you running around #

# lord, I ain't askin' for much #

j' I said, lord, take me downtown

I'm just looking for some tush #

# I been bad, I been good #

# Dallas, Texas, Hollywood #

# yeah, I ain't lookin' for much #

# I said, lord, take me downtown #

# I'm just lookin' for some tush #

# take me back, way back home #

# not by myself, not alone #

# 1 ain't lookin' for much #

“today, we had a pep rally.

Eric came out bouncing a basketball

with my underpants tied to it.

I left school and cried all afternoon.

Daddy found me, he says I don't have to go back

to school again.

In the spring, I'll go to college and start over.

Woo!

Just like old times, hey, kid?

Let's spend the night together.

We'll take my car.

I got some grass.

Can you leave right now?

Sure, vinny can wrap it up.

Let's go.

Yeah, I've always been tempted to go to L.A.

Take my shot at the big time, you know.

Hey, where we going?

Back.

- Back where? - You know.

Anywhere you wanna go is all right with me.

Fuckin' a, di.

I never would've thought of this place.

I haven't been in here in five...

Weeks.

What do you wanna do?

Got any suggestions?

Let's get naked.

You think you can see right through me, don't you?

I think you make it easy.

You college girls are all alike.

You talk, talk, talk, and all you wanna do

is fuck, fuck, fuck.

This time we're really gonna go all the way.

Come on, Eric, let's get naked.

- Huh? - That was your phrase,

wasn't it? "Let's get naked.”

Now you're talkin'.

Hey, hey, hey, Jesus, di, take it easy.

What's the rush? It's been 16 years.

So, why should it be any more?

Hey, listen.

You're gonna go through with this, aren't ya?

Eric, how can you ask such a silly question?

Of course, I'm going through with this.

No.

Yeah, but just last time this happened to me,

things didn't turn out so hot, you know.

Eric.

It's... it's me.

Dianne, the girl you know so well.

You know, I... l um,

a little bit high.

You gonna talk or fuck, Eric?

Well.

I mean, this is really heavy for me.

Come on, Eric, come on, lay here.

Now, tell me.

What's on your mind?

Is this really heavy for you too?

Mm.

Well, I thought a lot about you since high school.

Wondered what you were doing, and uh,

wondered what it'd have been like if we'd uh,

you know, fucked, and uh,

I thought a lot about this moment right now.

Hey, listen, di, you haven't changed a bit.

I mean, you are the... Was the classiest girl

in the school.

You know, I mean, you were different than the other girls,

you had brains.

And I respected you for that.

Tell me again.

You were the classiest girl in the whole school.

No, no, no, tell me about how everybody does it,

tell me how it will make you respect me even more.

- Oh, sure. - Come on.

Sure, if you want.

Do it for me.

Hey, di.

Come on, everybody does it now.

You know.

It's not wrong.

Two people should do it if they're in love,

because it's the only way they can really show it.

I mean, uh,

I mean, I'll respect you, I'll respect you more,

because I'll love you more,

and,

we can't turn back now.

We have to go forward, or our love will die.

How do you like that?

Mm, tell me about the other girls.

Does it always come so easy for you?

Easy?

God.

Easy.

What do you think I am, a pistol?

Eric, come on!

Beg me, Eric, beg me.

Beg me to let you put the tip in.

Tell me how you want to come inside.

Wait a minute, what's happening here?

- Baby. - Hey, take it easy.

Come on, call me a cock teaser.

Look, this is a mistake,

you shouldn't fuck with people's dreams.

What's the matter, Dr. cool, can't get it up anymore?

You do remember when you were Dr. cool, don't you?

Hey you're fuckin' with my head.

Your head needs fucking.

Look, just get into that seat and just take me home.

What are you gonna do, hit me?

Just give me the keys, bitch.

Oh, that's better now hit me.

God, dianne, I want you so bad.

Eric, listen, I'm gonna rape you, okay.

Oh, okay, god.

You, you stay here and let me get ready for you.

- Close your eyes. - Sure.

Oh, god, dianne, I can hardly stand it.

I know it, hold on, Eric I'm coming.

Oh yes, Eric, yes.

Oh, god, di I can hardly believe it.

- I know, I'm coming. - Okay.

Hey, hey what are you doing?

All right you want me to come back in, huh?

No, hey wait a minute, wait.

Hi, hey, dianne hey.

Come on, let me in.

No, dianne open the door, please.

Please open the door, please open the...

Open the fuckin' door you fuckin' bitch!

God damn you, you fuckin' cunt, fuck you!

Shit!

Ah, fuck me gently, shit, oh!

Fuck, fuckin' cunt.

Shit!

Fuck...

- Pamela Shaw? - Yes, Jeff...?

- Jeff turrin, that's right. - Come in, sit down.

Thank you.

- Oh, it looks like fun. - Itis.

It's nice that it's so small here.

I mean you can push 'em around and make 'em do what you want.

That's the whole point, you act out your fantasies.

You talked with dianne?

Yeah, I saw her for a couple of days about a week ago.

She seemed okay but, you know, maybe a little upset.

- In what way? - Oh, I don't know.

Restless, a little lost, maybe kind of desperate?

- You knew her? - Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, she looked me up.

We went to college together.

Oh, I see, why are you here?

I guess 'cause I'm a little worried about her.

Well, we are, too.

She left over a week ago, no advanced notice,

no idea when she'd be back.

It's not like dianne, she's very responsible.

We don't quite know what to do about her patients.

Has she been having any trouble with work around here?

No, on the contrary, she's very successful.

Maybe too successful.

You know it takes so long.

Well, I don't know, it must have been hard on her

with her husband like that.

Well, that was a year ago!

Dianne didn't seem to be so upset about it at the time.

Don't these things take a while to have their real impact?

You know, maybe you should talk to him.

Maybe he's heard from her.

- Who? - Her husband.

David brinks, he's a professor of sociology at ucla.

I think he still lives in Van nuys.

It should be in the phone book.

December 3rd, 1958.

I died yesterday.

I'll never go back to ludington again.

Minneapolis will be my graveyard

and our new house will be my coffin.

I will never see Louis again.

He kissed me goodbye at the dock,

even though mom and dad were watching.

They thought it was cute.

I couldn't stop crying.

Mom says [I'll find new boyfriends in Minneapolis.

But I don't want any new boyfriends.

Dad says it's just a 7th grade crush

but he doesn't know anything.

They don't know me at all, only Louis does.

I'll never find another boyfriend.

Ludington is a dumb little town.

Mr. hoog says I should be glad to go to a big city.

My class will graduate without me.

I dreamt Louis and I ran away and got married.

And when we came back, we moved into my old house

because the new owners had abandoned it.

Louis was supposed to paint the fence

but I said I didn't want fo.

So we rode our bikes to the state park.

Louis said he'd never leave me.

We hugged so tight his jacket buttons hurt me.

He said we could run away

and live with his cousin Vince in Chicago.

We must've kissed a million times

before we had to go back home.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Do you have a room? - Yes we have.

- It's $30 a week with breakfast. - That's fine.

Will you sign your name please?

Do you have a room upstairs in the left-hand corner?

Um, number nine, right there.

That's fine.

- Thank you. - You're very welcome.

- Hello. - Hi.

I'm from products research company

we're doing a marketing survey.

We'd like to ask you a few questions.

You don't have to give us your name,

just answer a few simple questions.

Okay.

Do you use an aerosol or stick deodorant?

Aerosol.

- What brand? - Rite guard.

Rite guard.

What brand toothpaste do you use?

Crest.

Except now I'm using pepsodent.

My mother likes it.

Look, maybe you should ask somebody else.

I don't really wanna talk.

- Don't you recognize me? - No, who are you?

- You don't remember me? - No.

I'm dianne cruise.

We used to go to ludington grade school

and junior high together.

I lived on beachwood street.

We were in Mr. hoog's class.

Oh, I never had Mr. hoog as a teacher.

You must have made a mistake, I'm sorry.

You're Louis Van til, aren't you?

No.

No?

Louis was my older brother.

- You're little Wayne! - Yeah.

You were in third grade when Louis and I were in seventh.

I must have been but I don't remember you.

Well, you wouldn't.

Where's Louis?

Does he still live in town?

Louis died ten years ago.

He was killed in the Navy at cam ranh bay.

Oh.

Look, you wanna come inside?

I'm sorry, Wayne.

Why don't you come inside?

Sure, thanks.

You want some coffee?

Yes.

- You want cream and sugar? - No, thanks.

It was the summer I was selling magazine subscriptions

door-to-door for the sheriff's department.

Oh.

Wayne, where are you?

Oh, there you are.

Well, hello.

- Mrs. Van til? - Yes?

- It's dianne. - Dianne.

- Dianne cruise. - Oh, for heaven sakes, dianne!

- How are you? - Fine.

Well, oh, Wayne good you got out the coffee cake.

Did you get everything on the list?

- Yes. - Where's the change?

By the sink.

Dianne, tell me, what are you doing in this neck of the woods?

Oh, just on vacation, you know.

- Wandering around? - Just wandering around.

Well, I can't tell you how lovely it is to see you again.

Now you make yourself at home.

I'll be out back if you need me.

You have to forgive her, she's getting old and a little funny.

I remember her very well.

- I had quite a crush on Louis. - I guess everybody did.

They made a big deal out of it when they brought his body back.

They had a parade and made speeches.

What do you do?

- Did you join the service, too? - No.

I was exempted by the sole surviving son provision.

Oh.

- What do you do now? - Odd jobs.

I help out at the store sometimes.

- Where do you live? - Here.

- I'm the sole surviving son. - Oh!

Louis let me visit him at the camp once.

Everybody went, but I was the one he wanted to see.

- Were you his favorite? - Sure, he was mine.

- He was mine, too. - Louis was gonna be a writer.

Sometimes I write stories.

Maybe you could write a story about him?

Maybe I could write a story about you?

- Maybe. - Maybe we could be friends.

- Bye. - Bye!

Dianne? Yes?

It's so nice to see you again.

I can still see you and Louis just like two peas in a pod.

Yes, we were.

- Did you talk with Wayne? - Yes.

Did you notice anything odd?

- Like what? - Well, look at him.

He looks fine.

Wayne is 27 years old and he does nothing

but sit around the house all the time.

He's never had a job.

He never dates anybody.

He never goes out.

He just sits around all the time.

Have you taken him to see a doctor?

He's an outpatient at pine rest.

He sees a psychiatrist every morning.

The government helps or we couldn't afford it.

I'm supposed to assign him special tasks

so I send him to the market every day.

That's about all he does.

They don't know what's wrong with him?

Not really.

One doctor said he thought it was brought on by Louis' death

but they don't seem to be able to help him much.

Well, maybe I can help?

- Oh, I didn't mean... - No.

I'd like to if I can.

- Are you a doctor? - I work at a clinic in la.

I always knew you were a smart girl,

but I had no idea!

A doctor, my goodness!

Your parents must be very proud of you.

Are they still in Minneapolis?

Yes, they are.

I just came from seeing them as a matter of fact.

Isn't that nice?

Not many young people take time out these days.

Well I'll see you later, Mrs. Van til.

- Hello. - Hi.

- What do you want? - Is David brinks in?

- I'd like to talk to him. - Oh, yeah just a second.

David, there's a guy at the door for you!

I don't know, it's a guy with a suit.

- Yeah? - Hi.

My name's Jeff turrin, I'm a friend of dianne's.

I'd like to talk to you for a minute.

- Well, is it important? - Yeah, I think so.

Okay, come on in.

- You want a beer? - Oh, no thank you.

You know, if someone had told me five years ago

I was gonna be standing here with a can of easy lite,

I would have puked.

What's dianne done now?

Oh, I saw her about a week ago.

She's taken off from her job

and she's winding around the country, I guess.

Sounds like a damn good idea to me.

Yeah, well I'm not sure it is.

She's been saying some fairly weird things.

- What's the matter, sweetheart? - I can't read your writing.

What does this say?

- It looks like, "awk." - Well, it is, "awk."

It stands for awkward.

It means this lardhead can't write a coherent sentence.

It also means that you're too lazy to write out a whole word.

- What did she say? - She said you'd killed yourself.

She what? “Yeah.

She said you'd committed suicide.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Why would she say that?

Look, I'm not the one who tried to kill himself.

It was her.

Are you from the clinic?

No, I'm just an old friend.

She looked me up in Colorado.

Well, look, old friend,

she took an overdose of pills, she got into her car

and tried to drive it into a concrete wall.

She missed the wall and went into a chain-link fence.

Made a mess of the car but thank god

she came out without a scratch.

Why would she do that?

She didn't say.

What do you think?

I don't know.

Look, Mr... Jeff.

I failed.

Now, maybe it was her fault, more probably it was mine.

But, at any rate, it doesn't matter

'cause I've given up trying.

- Hi, Wayne. - Hi.

- How you doin'? - Fine.

- You started your story yet? - Little bits of it.

- Am I in it? - You are now.

- Can I help you carry anything? - I got it.

I was gonna go take a walk and see some stuff.

You wanna come with me?

- Did you talk to my mom? - Yes, why?

What'd you talk about?

She said it was nice to see me because Louis and I

were like two peas in a pod.

What else?

I saw you out there.

She told me you didn't have too many friends.

She tell you I had to go to the market every day?

I told her maybe we'd be friends.

If you want to, that is.

She tell you about Dr. Hoffman?

Wanna take a walk with me, or not?

Louis and I had a private room.

I used to take those tooth picks, you know with the paper,

and I'd twist the ends and I'd drop 'em down here

and they'd spin.

Then we'd go up wrath.

Sometimes they'd hit the sides and it wouldn't work.

Then we'd take stray and we'd touch the tree

in front of the wilkson house.

I know that tree!

Then we'd step on every crack in the sidewalk.

Step on a crack, break your mother's back.

That's what Louis used to say.

And this was the special tree.

We'd touch it and Louis would say,

"let me walk you home."

And I'd say, "no, too far.”

It was really because my mother would have a fit.

What made the tree special?

In fifth grade, Louis kissed me for the first time.

It was right here.

He snuck up behind me and he kissed me.

So this became our special tree.

You sure know a lot about Louis.

I've been thinking a lot about him.

I'm not supposed to think about him.

There are a clump of trees way over there, in lyndale park.

- Past the tracks? - Oh, they're not there anymore.

There was a arbor in the park where we used to hide.

People would walk right by and not even see you.

We'd sit in there by the hour.

That's where we'd kiss.

I wasn't allowed to go past the tracks.

- Would you like to see it? - Uh-uh.

- Why? - It's too late.

I have to take these groceries downstairs.

Okay, we can go there tomorrow if you want to.

Maybe.

Hey.

- You wanna see something? - Sure.

Come here.

Come here.

This is everything.

Louis' team made the finals in his senior year.

Yeah?

They lost to St. Joe.

I played, too.

I was the most valuable player on my team.

We had a lousy team.

You looked a lot alike.

Yeah, maybe.

- I was a better dancer. - I bet.

- How's that? - Fine.

Why don't you put this sweater on?

That look like Louis?

Put on the sweater.

I don't wanna do this.

Oh, come on.

Wayne, come on you look like you're the same size.

- We were. - Then put it on.

This is dumb.

Go on!

Put it on.

Okay.

Smells of moth balls.

These sweaters, they're coming back in style.

Hold onto anything long enough it'll come back and bite you.

You look nice.

I hope it's still there.

Definitely the place.

Are you okay?

I don't know.

I really loved Louis, you know?

Maybe I shouldn't have come.

Why?

It's not right.

I loved Louis, too.

I even love you.

Then we kissed and I knew it was a special place.

And then I was special.

I wasn't like the other girls.

I was happy and beautiful.

I knew I was loved.

- Hi. - Get out.

- What's wrong? - Just get out.

Get off my porch and don't come back.

What's wrong, Mrs. Van til, where's Wayne?

I don't want you to ever see him again.

Now leave, leave town and don't come back!

Where is he?

Don't you think you've done enough damage?

I had to call Dr. Hoffman!

- Why? - Why?

You're the one who did it!

You're the one who should tell me why!

- What happened? - He'll never be the same!

- Mrs. Van til... - Maybe I can help him.

Maybe I can be his friend, I'm a doctor too!

- What did he do? - He changed.

He changed, he's not like he was.

You've made him worse.

- Where is he? - He's in the hospital!

He's had another breakdown!

- Good morning, Dr. Hoffman. - Good morning.

- Dr. Hoffman? - Yes?

I'm dianne cruise.

I'd like to talk to you about Wayne Van til just for a moment.

Sit down, miss cruise.

I'll be right with you.

Now, miss cruise, what can I do for you?

How is he?

- Wayne? - Yes, Wayne Van til.

I had to put him back on thorazine.

- Thorazine? - Thorazine, miss cruise.

Or don't you approve?

What happened?

Perhaps you should tell me, miss cruise.

How you ruined many months of treatment.

How I ruined...?

Did you think you were so detached

that you would explore Louis' role in Wayne's life?

Did you think you were being objective?

Did you know what you were doing, miss cruise?

Playing your little game of transference?

I wonder, was it for him or for yourself?

You identify yourself, not only with Louis,

but as Louis' girl.

Then you dress Wayne up in a dead boy's clothing.

Is your present life so insufficient, miss cruise,

that you have to make love to a dead boy's memory?

I didn't mean any harm.

Transference is a very powerful psychiatric weapon.

And you couldn't have used it more dangerously, miss cruise.

You twisted Wayne's perception so badly

it's almost as if you'd set out to destroy him.

That's not true.

He opened, he opened up, he showed me things.

Mrs. Van til mentioned that you are in my line of work.

- Yes. - A clinical psychologist, is it?

- Yes. - In Los Angeles?

How did you know that?

I did some investigating, miss cruise.

You would have, if you were in my position.

Clinical psychologists are a phenomenon of large cities.

Here, in ludington, you'd only be available

for the administration of psychological tests.

How would you take care of Wayne, Dr. Hoffman?

Keep him quiet?

Keep him still, keep him under control?

Would you like to continue the treatment

of your patient, miss cruise?

Perhaps you could find a few more old clothes, miss cruise.

Stop it!

Do you know what precipitated Wayne's present condition?

No.

Did you know that he feels responsible for all of it?

Death, his father leaving his mother, all of it.

No, no.

A psychologist is a doctor, just like a surgeon.

Most surgeons cure by amputation.

And what is your answer, miss cruise?

Cure by rediscovery?

Your rediscovery or the patient's?

Your oblique little walk down memory Lane

with you as the leader, Wayne as a follower,

did more damage to him than any surgeon could ever have done.

Impersonating a doctor should be a crime, miss cruise.

I wish it were a crime so I could revoke your license.

Hello, hey down here!

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I was in the neighborhood.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

You're a hard one to find.

- Why are you here? - Oh, come on.

I asked you first.

Listen, I was worried about you.

- I don't believe you. - Oh, you don't huh?

Well I'll tell you, there was this girl I used to know

who came up to Colorado to see me for a couple of days

and she let on like she kind of liked me.

And I thought she was gonna stick around

to get better acquainted.

But then she disappeared.

I don't know, I couldn't figure it out.

I mean, maybe it was my bathtub, maybe it was my shaving cream,

maybe it was that spoon on the end of my nose, huh?

Why were you worried about me?

You cut your hair again, huh, looks good.

Listen, you gonna invite me up?

Okay.

Take it easy.

Oh, wait!

Just a minute.

- What do you want? - What do you think?

I've done some awful things, awful things.

I've gotta make up for them.

Yeah, you do have some things to make up for.

And you can start with me.

See, I didn't come here to save you.

Oh, god.

After you left, Dylan said some things that taught me a lot.

Mainly to get off my butt.

- Dylan, how is she? - Oh, she's fine.

She's bobbing around.

- You still wanna see me? - Yeah!

I mean, Dylan thinks you're okay.

I think you're pretty good.

And I had to come to California anyway

because I figure it's time to start making real movies.

Yes? Yeah.

Yes.

Besides...

We still have that great kiss.

A great kiss.

Yeah, I mean it is very good.

I mean, it's not great but it's pretty good.

Yeah.

Listen. What?

I'd like to come inside with you now

but only if you want me to.

Oh, I don't have a tub, I don't have a very big tub.

A cup of coffee will do.

I once believed that if I discovered who I was

I would understand who I am now.

That seems like a long time ago.

Thank god life goes on.