Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,241
(cheerfully perky music)
2
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:12,346
- Anyway, I said it to her
in words of one syllable.
3
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,483
Look, I said Mrs.
Brown, all of the stuff
4
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,151
that's in the closets
that we've gone through
5
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,786
that I'm gonna contribute
to the rummage sale
6
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:21,222
you will find on the
couch in the living room.
7
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,923
Now how can she possibly
misunderstand that?
8
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:25,493
- And you overlooked one
small but vital detail.
9
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,428
For all her many good qualities,
10
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,730
Lorelei has mind that
absorbs information
11
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:30,798
like a dry sponge.
12
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:31,965
(audience laughing)
- Yeah.
13
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:33,234
Well she had no
trouble absorbing our
14
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,603
nice new clothes out
of the closet, look!
15
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,037
This is my brand new sport coat,
16
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:40,108
$59.95 at the Elite
Men's Shop last month.
17
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,542
Why here's my favorite slacks,
18
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,744
and there is my most
expensive and good sweater!
19
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,279
- I'm afraid you're right Tim.
20
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,215
We're going to have to do
something that will curb
21
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,417
Lorelei's impulsive generosity!
22
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:52,019
(audience chuckling)
23
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,954
- 25, 26, 27, 28, 29...
24
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:59,760
(audience snickering)
(knocking)
25
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,897
29, 29, 29...
(audience snickering)
26
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,933
Oh Martin am I glad to see you!
27
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,301
Oh Tim I can use you too!
28
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:08,769
- Yeah Mrs. Brown
I have only very
29
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:09,570
serious but I'd like--
- Yeah hold up your hands,
30
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:10,638
hold up your hands!
31
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,905
- Hold up my hands?
- Yeah.
32
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,375
Don't be silly, hold
up your fingers!
33
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,578
Now it's 29, 30,
31, 32, 33, 34, 35,
34
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:21,415
36, 37, 38, 39, I need three
more, three more, three more.
35
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:24,185
(audience snickering)
Ah, 39, 40, 41, 42!
36
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,555
42!
(audience laughing)
37
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,822
- Wouldn't it be
easier if Mrs. Brown
38
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,023
just grew some more fingers?
39
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:33,261
(audience laughing)
40
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:36,029
(pleasant music)
41
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:42,903
(Martian finger eerily humming)
42
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,242
- Incredible!
43
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,109
Appalling!
44
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,846
- What's incredible, appalling?
45
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,416
- Lorelei's financial situation.
46
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,918
- Uh, Tim, have you paid
me the rent for this month?
47
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,620
- Oh, uh, well I uh,
48
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,723
I've been meaning to speak
to you about that Mrs. Brown.
49
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,626
Uh, you see I came up a
little short this month.
50
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,795
- Oh well that's
perfectly all right Tim,
51
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:11,632
I just couldn't remember
whether you'd paid me or not!
52
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,001
- Well uh, we'll come
back later Lorelei,
53
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,337
uh, unless you have further
need of our fingers?
54
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,272
- (laughs) Oh no, I
think I can manage
55
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,540
with the ones I have, thank you!
56
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,941
(audience laughing)
Bye!
57
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,343
- Goodnight Lorelei!
58
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:25,379
(suspenseful music)
59
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:33,020
That woman has absolutely no
conception of balanced economy.
60
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,423
Too generous, lending
money, not collecting rent.
61
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:38,759
The question is do I have
a moral right to interfere?
62
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:41,495
- Well, yes I'd say so if--
63
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,564
- I could do it with
the noodle soup.
64
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,998
(audience chuckling)
65
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,567
Tomorrow is Wednesday,
Lorelei always
66
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,068
invites me to
lunch on Wednesday,
67
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:51,239
and invariably makes a
large kettle of noodle soup.
68
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,341
- Oh well then there's
your answer right there!
69
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,508
All you use is--
70
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,509
Noodle soup?
71
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:58,379
(audience laughing)
72
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:01,249
(pleasant music)
73
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,451
(beeping)
74
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:14,395
(beeping)
75
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,663
(perky music)
76
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:19,867
("My Favorite Martian"
opening theme music)
77
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,212
(charming music)
78
00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:43,190
(doorbell buzzing)
79
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,796
- Oh hello Martin!
80
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,464
Lunch is almost ready!
81
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:53,233
- Uh, well I uh, I like mine
82
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,702
a little more well done Lorelei!
83
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,305
(audience laughing)
Oh, no silly!
84
00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:59,340
This is for Hobard!
85
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,141
Oh yoohoo, Hobard,
86
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,643
time for lunch sweetheart!
(dog growling)
87
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,679
(audience laughing)
88
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,419
Now remember you manners
Hobard, don't bolt your food!
89
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,853
(audience laughing)
90
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,122
(growling)
91
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,327
- Isn't that rather
extravagant Lorelei?
92
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,362
Feeding prime beef
steak to a dog that
93
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,763
doesn't even belong to you?
94
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,432
- Well what else
would I do with it?
95
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:26,199
It's too expensive
for me to eat!
96
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,236
(audience laughing)
97
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,206
(barking)
98
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,141
- What did you say?
99
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,843
(barking)
100
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,745
I am not jealous because
you're eating steak
101
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,279
and I'm having noodle soup!
102
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,914
(audience laughing)
(barking)
103
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,350
Enjoy it while
you can, it may be
104
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,452
the last steak you'll
get from Lorelei!
105
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:47,321
(barking)
(growling)
106
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:51,024
Descending to your intellectual
level I can only say,
107
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,160
sticks and stones
may break my bones
108
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,062
but names will never hurt me!
109
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,830
(audience laughing)
110
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,032
(barking)
111
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,635
- But of course I had
to send him the money!
112
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,904
After all, he is my
first cousin by marriage,
113
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,473
on my aunt's side of the family!
114
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,840
(audience chuckling)
115
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,710
(Lorelei sighing)
116
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:16,216
(Martian finger eerily humming)
117
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,353
(audience chuckling)
118
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,262
- I uh, I realize it's none
of my business Lorelei,
119
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,932
but it seems to me your
family take undue advantage
120
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,434
of your generous nature.
121
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,103
- Oh no they don't Martin,
I never send any of them
122
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:39,272
one single cent until they
come right out and ask for it.
123
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,309
(audience laughing)
124
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:50,618
(Martian finger eerily humming)
125
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,820
(audience chuckling)
126
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,456
(somber music)
127
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:07,835
(Martian finger eerily humming)
128
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,938
(audience chuckling)
129
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,943
(tense music)
130
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,760
- Lorelei, what are you doing?
131
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:35,563
- Oh I just had the most
marvelous idea, Martin!
132
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,598
I can save all these
noodles and use them
133
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,567
again the next time!
134
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,235
You know the old saying,
waste not want not!
135
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,272
(audience laughing)
136
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,780
(tense music)
137
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:07,260
(audience chuckling)
Oh, it's you Tim!
138
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,662
Pass, friend!
139
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,898
(audience laughing)
140
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,467
(frenetic music)
141
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,902
- Uncle Martin, uncle Martin!
142
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,171
Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Brown,
she has a got gun!
143
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,673
She's got a shotgun,
it's a two-barrel!
144
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:21,041
(audience laughing)
It's huge!
145
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,476
- I know, I know.
146
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,514
How perceptive I was that
day I said to Bobby Burns.
147
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,783
"The best laid schemes
of mice and Martians,
148
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,418
"gang aft agley."
149
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,786
(audience chuckling)
150
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:36,423
- Well bully for Bobby
Burns, but what is--
151
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,627
Mice, and Martians?
152
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,196
- I gave him permission to
alter it for local consumption.
153
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,832
(audience laughing)
- Oh, that was
154
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,535
very nice of you, now
would you mind telling me,
155
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:51,371
what is Mrs. Brown doing
downstairs, with a shotgun?
156
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,873
- She's guarding
her life savings,
157
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,274
she no longer trusts the bank.
158
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,475
(audience snickering)
- What did you do
159
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,244
with the noodle soup?
160
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,948
- Well there was a,
what you might call,
161
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,784
slight over compensation.
162
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:04,885
(audience chuckling)
163
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,086
- How slight?
164
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,555
- Well there again,
you might say it's like
165
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,558
a question of relativity,
like, how high is up?
166
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,960
(audience chuckling)
- Uncle Martin?
167
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:17,531
- Lorelei has become an absolute
and unmitigated Scrooge.
168
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,767
There's no need for
undue alarm Tim.
169
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,570
I've already taken steps
to correct the situation.
170
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,905
I've invited her for
dinner this evening.
171
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,775
I'll simply reverse the
process, by again using
172
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,544
the same subliminal agent.
173
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:31,745
- Noodles.
(audience snickering)
174
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,013
- Noodles.
175
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,514
However I am more
worried about her
176
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,617
having all that
money in the house.
177
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:40,487
If anything happened to it,
I'd never forgive myself.
178
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,055
- Uh oh.
179
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,757
- What's the matter?
180
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:51,431
"Cat burglar invades Westside.
181
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,466
"An elusive cat burglar
has successfully looted
182
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,669
"seven homes in the
Westside area of
183
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,705
"more than $20,000 in cash,
184
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,140
"furs and jewelry
in the past week."
185
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,976
- Uncle Martin,
you have a problem,
186
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,511
(audience snickering)
So I tell 'ya what,
187
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,580
you worry about the cat burglar,
188
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,015
I'll worry about the noodles.
189
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,719
(audience chuckling)
(comically anxious music)
190
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,021
(knocking)
191
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:20,628
- Hello there!
(audience laughing)
192
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:23,831
I was invited!
193
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,498
(audience chuckling)
- I uh, won't you
194
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:27,134
come in Mrs. Brown?
195
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,238
Um, let me take that for you!
196
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,640
(tense music)
(audience chuckling)
197
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,808
- I wish you hadn't
done that Tim!
198
00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,309
- I wish I hadn't
either Mrs. Brown!
199
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,577
(audience chuckling)
- All the money I have
200
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,012
in the world is in that bag.
201
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,214
You know you can't trust
anybody with money these days.
202
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,917
(audience snickering)
(comically perky music)
203
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,819
- Uncle Martin?
204
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:46,687
Company?
205
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,989
(audience chuckling)
206
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,624
- Good evening Lorelei!
207
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:53,060
My, how chic you look tonight!
208
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,995
- Oh thank you Martin!
209
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,363
It's just an old
thing I've had hanging
210
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,932
in the closet for
years, I've hardly worn
211
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,300
it at all and I
thought it's about time
212
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,769
I got some good out of it!
213
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,303
(audience chuckling))
- Hmm, an excellent idea!
214
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,572
At any rate, dinner is
served at the moment!
215
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,440
May I?
- Oh thank you!
216
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,911
(anxiously perky music)
217
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,713
Mm, noodle soup.
218
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:15,816
- Yes, I uh, found a new recipe.
219
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:18,351
- Martin you shouldn't have
gone to all that expense!
220
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,954
Well I could have rented
you my noodles very cheap!
221
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,455
(audience laughing)
222
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:26,660
- That's very kind of you
Lorelei, perhaps next time.
223
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:31,431
- I think I'll just save
the rest of mine for later.
224
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,265
(audience snickering)
- But Lorelei,
225
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,834
it will get cold!
226
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,569
- Oh no, not in this it won't.
227
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:39,606
(audience laughing)
228
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:48,315
You know the old saying,
waste not, want not.
229
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,351
(audience laughing)
230
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,223
Well I must say boys
I don't know when
231
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,092
I've enjoyed myself more!
232
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,494
Oh the dinner was
simply delicious.
233
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,030
(audience snickering)
234
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,565
Oh and I've got enough in my
bowser bag for lunch tomorrow.
235
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:06,900
(audience chuckling)
236
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,301
Well, goodnight boys!
237
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,803
Sorry you had to eat and run.
238
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:10,838
- Eat and...
239
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,506
Uh, Mrs. Brown?
240
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,342
You're leaving, we're not.
241
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,511
- Oh, on the contrary Tim,
you haven't paid the rent,
242
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:21,281
and I have a very firm
rule with all my tenants.
243
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:24,718
If anyone is more than
one week in arrears,
244
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,220
out they go.
(audience laughing)
245
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:30,590
(comically tense music)
246
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,593
- Do something!
247
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:34,762
- Well I'm afraid there's
nothing I can do Tim.
248
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,463
She's within her rights.
249
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:37,898
- Goodnight Boys!
250
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,334
(audience chuckling)
251
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:44,872
(comically anxious music)
252
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,253
I'm awfully sorry, Martin, Tim,
253
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:03,023
I uh, well know this is
a terrible thing to do
254
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,592
to my dearest
friends but, well I,
255
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,861
I just can't seem
to help myself.
256
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:11,531
(audience chuckling)
257
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,066
- Our first concern
must be Lorelei,
258
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,602
we've got to protect
her from herself!
259
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:16,469
- Yeah.
260
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,706
But who's gonna protect
us, from herself?
261
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,742
(audience laughing)
262
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:28,315
(Martian powers humming)
263
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,655
(audience chuckling)
264
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,594
(barking)
265
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:42,562
- What?
266
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,964
(barking)
267
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,833
Well if you must
know I'm testing for
268
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,835
inimical brain
wave transmissions.
269
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,502
(audience snickering)
(barking)
270
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,271
Well I don't know whether
I can simplify it enough
271
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,706
for your meager
understanding, but I'll try.
272
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:56,143
(audience chuckling)
Now Lorelei has a great deal
273
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,979
of money in her house,
there is reportedly
274
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,882
a cat burglar operating
in the neighborhood.
275
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:05,385
By emitting certain reflective
signals from my brain,
276
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,554
I can detect other
brain waves and
277
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,723
identify them as
friendly or unfriendly.
278
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,293
Now, will you kindly get lost?
279
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:15,462
(audience chuckling)
(dog barking)
280
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,331
You're interfering
with my transmission!
281
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,533
(barking)
282
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,535
Oh for the love of Pluto's pups.
283
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,637
(audience chuckling)
Don't be so sensitive!
284
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,506
I never said I didn't like you!
285
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,641
(audience chuckling)
286
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,011
(barking)
Well I did say that, yes.
287
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,946
(dog growling)
288
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:36,049
I don't approve of freeloaders,
shaggy or otherwise!
289
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,750
(audience chuckling)
(barking)
290
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:40,753
Now if the shoe fits,
you wear it pal!
291
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:44,491
(audience chuckling)
(barking)
292
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,358
Hmm.
293
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:49,762
(anxious music)
294
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,900
- Wha-What, what's going on?
295
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,434
- A policeman is patrolling
the neighborhood,
296
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,436
under the circumstances I
don't think it would be wise
297
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,972
to get involved in any
lengthy explanations
298
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,508
of why we're taking the
night air at 3:00 a.m.!
299
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,677
(audience chuckling)
- Whatever you say, Mar...
300
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,579
(audience snickering)
301
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,116
(tense music)
302
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,587
(suspenseful music)
303
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,739
(cheerful music)
304
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,681
- Help, police, help!
305
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:44,351
Help!
306
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:46,353
(thumping)
307
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:50,290
(Martian finger eerily humming)
308
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:57,030
(audience laughing)
309
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,666
Help, police!
310
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:05,505
(shotgun firing)
(audience laughing)
311
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:10,843
(frenetic music)
Help, police, help!
312
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,013
(Martian antennas
eerily humming)
313
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,182
(audience laughing)
314
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:18,718
(comically anxious music)
315
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:22,822
- Ha ha ha!
316
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,259
(audience laughing)
317
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:29,096
Anyone know where I can find
a, an all-night laundry?
318
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:32,132
(audience laughing)
319
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,536
- O'Hara, do you realize
you're not only being
320
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,305
unfair to the
taxpayers of this city
321
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,839
but you're keeping
us up all night!
322
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,141
(mechanical buzzing)
- I'm really sorry about that
323
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,075
Detective Smithers--
- I don't ca--
324
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,510
- but it's been a terrible week.
325
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,677
(mechanical buzzing)
- Detective Smithers here!
326
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,313
Hello, hello!
(mechanical buzzing)
327
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,547
(thumping)
(mechanical buzzing)
328
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,781
What's the matter
with this thing?
329
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,017
I'm gonna find out
what's wrong with that,
330
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,551
now you stay put!
(mechanical buzzing)
331
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:55,422
(audience snickering)
332
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,125
(anxious music)
333
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,162
(Martian antennas
eerily humming)
334
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:05,432
(audience laughing)
335
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,299
- Hobard!
336
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:13,606
Uncle Martin?
337
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,377
(audience laughing)
338
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,547
I thought you two couldn't
stand the sight of each other?
339
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,749
- I had to eat humble pie Tim.
340
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:25,018
I forgot the old Martian axiom.
341
00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:27,587
Never willfully make an enemy.
342
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,756
You never know when you
may need him for a friend.
343
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,924
Or in this case, for a witness.
344
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:33,860
(audience snickering)
Hobard is the only one
345
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:37,230
who got a good close
look at the cat burglar.
346
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,731
- Oh.
347
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,200
Well what are you doing here?
348
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:43,002
- I want to take a good look
at the police mug books!
349
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:46,106
(audience chuckling)
350
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:49,476
Hmm?
351
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,247
Uh oh, your friend
and benefactor
352
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,749
Mr. Smithers is about to return!
353
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,685
(Martian antennas
eerily humming)
354
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,153
- Hold it just one second!
355
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,388
What do I do about him?
356
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:02,922
- Well I can't make
him disappear too!
357
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:06,059
You'll have to keep
Detective Smithers occupied.
358
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,627
(audience laughing)
359
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,462
- [Smithers] No
more phone calls.
360
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,930
- Hi!
(audience snickering)
361
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,932
I've decided to tell the whole
story Detective Smithers!
362
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,401
- Very good, good, very good.
363
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:15,735
Maybe get this wrapped
up in time for lunch.
364
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,304
- Yeah, yeah.
365
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:21,908
Well you see, it all
started when I was a child.
366
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,476
- Uh.
- Oh yes, there was this
367
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:27,414
apple tree in our neighbor's
yard, and some of the branches,
368
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:30,417
(audience snickering)
hung over, into our yard.
369
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:33,953
Well naturally some of the
apples fell on our side
370
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,722
of the fence, oh yes!
371
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,225
(audience snickering)
Yes, that's when it all began.
372
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,427
You see, I ate the apples,
373
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,765
that fell on our
side of the yard.
374
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:49,136
And before I knew
it, I was hooked.
375
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,570
(audience laughing)
- Hooked?
376
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,971
- Yeah, I became
377
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,806
an apple addict.
(audience laughing)
378
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:58,010
And I had to have more,
and more, and more!
379
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,045
And then it happened!
380
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,213
- Then what happened?
381
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,249
(dog yipping)
382
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,451
What in the?
(audience laughing)
383
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,319
Where did this mutt,
mutt come from?
384
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,888
- Uh, I thought it
was a police dog.
385
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,323
(audience chuckling)
386
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,425
- Let's get out of here,
you're lousing up my schedule!
387
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:13,393
Police dog!
388
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:17,164
(tense music)
389
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,771
- Is that the guy?
- Uh hmm.
390
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,906
Hobart says no question,
no question about it.
391
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,341
Positive identification.
392
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,542
(audience snickering)
Now all we have to do is to
393
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,144
invite him to lunch, here!
394
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,479
- Lunch here at
the police station?
395
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,147
- Uh hmm.
- Oh no no don't tell me,
396
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:36,916
I can guess, I have to
order noodles soup, right?
397
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,519
- Three bowls full.
- Three?
398
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,988
- Insist on it, it's
your right as a taxpayer!
399
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:45,024
(audience laughing)
400
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,660
- Well O'Hara you gonna talk or
401
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,928
you gonna waste some more time?
402
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,931
- Uh, uh, no sir, I am,
I'm willing to confess.
403
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,099
Right after lunch.
404
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,601
(audience laughing)
- After lunch?
405
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,802
- Yeah well I, I confess
better on a full stomach.
406
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:59,406
(audience chuckling)
407
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:03,210
(suspenseful music)
408
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:06,145
(machine clacking)
409
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,653
(Martian finger eerily humming)
410
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:17,023
(audience snickering)
411
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:19,892
- Calling car 12,
car 12, code 17,
412
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:24,897
proceed to 2727 Carlots
Drive, assist officer.
413
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:34,841
Car 28, car 28, code
four, proceed to
414
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:38,678
2040 North Genissee,
bring suspect to station
415
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,647
for routine questioning.
416
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,384
Report to Detective H. A.
Smithers, Burglary Detail.
417
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,687
Suspect is known as Henry
Kipling Black, alias--
418
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,891
(suspenseful music)
(audience snickering)
419
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,729
- Yes, this is Mrs. Brown!
(audience chuckling)
420
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,165
Oh, about the burglary!
421
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,134
You want me to come down
to the Police Station now?
422
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:06,906
Well I suppose I could,
except it's almost lunch time.
423
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,875
Oh, you'll furnish the lunch.
424
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,209
(audience snickering)
Free?
425
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,911
(audience laughing)
Oh well in that case
426
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,513
I'll be right down!
427
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,550
- [Tim] I asked for noodle soup!
428
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:20,219
- And I told 'ya they
didn't have noodle soup.
429
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,621
(audience chuckling)
430
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:24,324
- But uh, clam chowder?
431
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:27,494
- I've already got you
pegged as a time waster.
432
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,796
Do I have to put you
down as a trouble-maker?
433
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:31,698
(audience chuckling)
- No sir.
434
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,333
You don't understand.
435
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,934
It doesn't work
with clam chowder.
436
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,469
(audience laughing)
- O'Hara you demanded
437
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:40,773
three bowls of soup, and
you got three bowls of soup!
438
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,475
One, two, and three!
439
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,578
(audience snickering)
Now eat and confess!
440
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,680
- All right all
right come on now!
441
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,549
Get in there!
- All right leave go will 'ya!
442
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,817
- All right!
- Come on!
443
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:51,984
- Here's that guy Smitty
you wanted picked up,
444
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,453
Henry Kipling Black.
445
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,054
- What'd I do, what'd I do?
446
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,423
What what what?
(audience snickering)
447
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,224
I never done nuttin', what I do?
448
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,759
- I'll tell you what you did?
449
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,961
You stole Mrs. Brown's life
savings, that's what you did!
450
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,029
- Who me?
451
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,230
- Yeah!
- This way Mrs. Brown,
452
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,498
he's right in here.
- I never!
453
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:07,233
- Mrs. Brown says you
invited her to lunch.
454
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,402
- Wait a minute I didn't
order anybody picked up,
455
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,103
and I didn't invite
anybody for lunch!
456
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:12,204
- What are you talking about?
457
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,240
(all arguing)
458
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,475
(Martian antennas
eerily humming)
459
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:17,209
(audience chuckling)
460
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:20,447
(all arguing)
461
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,748
(hand slapping)
- Hold it!
462
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:22,782
(audience chuckling)
463
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,216
And who are you?
464
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,986
- Oh, that's Tim's uncle
Martin, he's the other crook.
465
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,555
(audience snickering)
Hello Martin.
466
00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:29,822
- Good afternoon Lorelei.
467
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:31,658
- You are Martin O'Hara?
468
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:32,925
- That is correct.
469
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,293
I understand you have
an all-points bulletin
470
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,762
out for my apprehension.
471
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,230
- Oh you can bet your
sweet potato whistle I do.
472
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:39,466
(audience snickering)
Now put the cuffs
473
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:40,433
on the character
until we find out
474
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,101
what's going on here!
475
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,103
(Martian finger eerily humming)
476
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,206
(audience chuckling)
477
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:49,842
- What about my free lunch?
478
00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:52,479
- Mrs. Brown, this
is a police station,
479
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:53,980
not a free lunch counter!
480
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:55,748
(audience snickering)
- Well!
481
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:57,717
You don't expect
me to pay for it!
482
00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,353
I went to considerable
expense to come down here,
483
00:22:00,387 --> 00:22:02,589
to get it for nothing!
(audience snickering)
484
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:03,623
- Excuse me.
485
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:05,758
Gentlemen.
486
00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:07,727
(audience laughing)
487
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,697
What are you two clowns
trying to do, spoil the image?
488
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:13,065
(audience chuckling)
- You see Smitty,
489
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:15,301
I don't know what
happened, we, we
490
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,536
(audience chuckling)
got the handcuffs out, and all
491
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:19,772
of a sudden, me and Red,
were hooked together.
492
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:22,875
(audience chuckling)
493
00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:26,413
- Lorelei, won't you
join us for lunch?
494
00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:28,280
- Oh thank you Martin.
495
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:34,220
- That's not noodle soup,
that's clam chowder!
496
00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:35,855
- I know, I was
standing just outside
497
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:38,124
the door when they delivered it.
498
00:22:38,157 --> 00:22:41,661
Here.
(audience chuckling)
499
00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:44,497
- Yes?
500
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:49,602
(tense music)
501
00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:53,806
(audience laughing)
- What's going on here?
502
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:58,911
(Martian finger eerily humming)
503
00:23:00,246 --> 00:23:02,348
(audience laughing)
504
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,484
- Have some noodle soup!
505
00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:08,187
- I wha, no thanks
mister, I-I ain't hungry.
506
00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:10,322
(audience laughing)
507
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:14,360
(Martian finger eerily humming)
508
00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:23,770
As long as I ain't going
anywheres anyway (laughs)!
509
00:23:25,505 --> 00:23:28,007
(tense music)
510
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:33,179
(Martian finger eerily humming)
511
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:36,315
(audience chuckling)
512
00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:49,061
(Martian finger eerily humming)
513
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,397
(audience laughing)
514
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,431
- Hey Uncle Martin?
515
00:23:52,465 --> 00:23:53,666
- Yes?
516
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,835
- That's what I call
using the old noodle.
517
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:58,871
(audience laughing)
518
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:03,910
(cheerful music)
(Tim whistling)
519
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,478
- Allow me to
congratulate you Tim,
520
00:24:05,512 --> 00:24:08,347
on an excellent story about
the cat burglar's confessing.
521
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:09,916
- Well thank you uncle Martin.
522
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:11,684
Hey how 'bout that!
523
00:24:11,718 --> 00:24:13,219
Byline and everything!
524
00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:14,754
Hey listen we better hurry, huh?
525
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:15,688
We don't want to keep Mrs.
Brown and my date waiting.
526
00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:17,189
- Oh quite sure.
527
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:19,225
You know it will be a pleasure
to dine with Lorelei again,
528
00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:20,893
especially now that
she's her old self.
529
00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:23,930
- Oh uncle Martin by the way,
um, about my date, tonight?
530
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:28,300
Well, lately she's been
sort of, um, distant,
531
00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:31,037
you see, so I thought maybe
tonight, you might uh,
532
00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:32,404
rearrange her noodles for me?
533
00:24:32,438 --> 00:24:33,439
(audience chuckling)
- Well of course Tim,
534
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:34,907
I shall be delighted!
535
00:24:34,941 --> 00:24:36,776
- Ah, you're just a great guy!
536
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:37,944
(audience snickering)
537
00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:40,046
- You realize of course
that if the scheme
538
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:44,884
should go agley this time,
that you could end up married?
539
00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:46,553
(audience snickering)
- Married?
540
00:24:46,586 --> 00:24:51,057
- Married.
(audience chuckling)
541
00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:53,459
- Uh, uncle Martin, uh forget,
542
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:54,827
forget, forget the noodles!
543
00:24:54,861 --> 00:24:56,963
(audience chuckling)
544
00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:58,865
Uncle Martin we'll eat
out at the pizza parlor!
545
00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:01,200
(audience laughing)
546
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:05,404
("My Favorite Martian"
closing theme music)
547
00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:39,171
(reverberating tone)
548
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:42,141
(thunder rumbling)
39495
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof