Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

Okay, it looks like we're all set to go.

The condemned,

Lyle Victor Linkus,

has declined to make a final statement.

So, at this time,

barring a phone call from the governor's office,

we will now carry out the execution.

[phone ringing]

[all gasp]

Yes?

Mmm-mmm.

Mmm-mmm.

I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.

You have a good evening yourself.

Okay. Let us proceed with the execution of Mr. Linkus.

You can go on.

Go on!

You can execute him.

[groans]

Okeydoke, that about wraps it up.

We thank you for coming out.

If you enjoyed a beverage or snack,

we do ask that you throw those items away in the receptacle at--

[screaming]

That's okay, that's all right. That's normal.

That's just the body going through its normal processes.

It's just that

remaining air that is being expelled.

That is not a scream so much as it is,

just air rushing past the vocal cords,

-which are taut from the cocktail. -[grunting]

[yells]

That's okay, that's all right.

This is all normal.

That's just a spasm.

The body just spasms long after death.

[grunts]

We went back and forth on whether we should put a window in that room.

If I knew then what I know now,

I can tell you I would have voted against that window.

If I only knew then what I know now.

Team, looks like you're headed to Reidsville, Georgia.

Ugh, another red state mystery.

When are we gonna get one in LA or New York?

Somewhere with some theater.

Now here's the thing. Coincidently, I have business in Atlanta.

So, maybe I can tag along on this mystery.

What business do you have in Atlanta?

I have a lady friend who lives there.

We've been conducting an online relationship

and she wants to meet in person.

And, by the way, she is a lingerie model,

and very rich,

and she's crazy about me.

I don't wanna get ahead of myself and say "soul mate,"

but this feels like the one.

The dark clouds are finally partin'.

You're obviously being catfished, Deezy.

Number one, no, I'm not.

Number two, what the hell is that?

It's nothing, Deezy. [chuckles]

Now, she sounds like a wonderful woman

who definitely does exist.

Thanks for the ride, team.

Thank you for giving us the pleasure of never seeing you again,

because you're about to be murdered in a catfishing scam.

-Take it easy, brother. -[engine starts]

Um... Natasha?

A nationwide shortage of sodium thiopental

has thrown the capital punishment system into disarray.

So, wait,

you just come up with a lethal cocktail on your own,

like you're the mixologist at the hotel bar

who asks for your number and never calls

but still charges you $22

for a strawberry hibiscus margarita

that didn't even get me buzzed?

Exactly, fellow.

Except, not only did Lyle Victor Linkus not get buzzed,

he acquired super-human strength.

And you want us to find him?

Yes, sir.

He could be anywhere in the surrounding forest?

Yes, sir.

Okay, I don't have any other questions.

Uh, I do.

Why didn't you call the FBI or, like, the Army?

That is a good question, young man,

and we went back and forth on it.

And who knows,

maybe this would turn into one of those

"if I knew then what I know now" situations.

[sighs] Like that window.

And these shoes.

Should've got black,

or brown.

But I went with cordovan.

The man said it goes with everything.

Well, I think it goes with nothing.

Here, good luck.

I better get out of this rain.

You know what color cordovan looks like when it gets wet?

Dog shit color.

[Mike] Okay, team, let's go.

Come on, we've got no choice.

[Pigeon] Wait a second, we do have a choice.

Or more precisely,

you have a choice.

If you want us to enter the forest, text "FOREST,"

and if you do not want us to enter the forest and go home,

text "GO HOME."

We'll give you a moment to make your choice.

Yup, we got the results.

And the audience wants us to

go home! [laughs]

Wow, that's surprising. [chuckles]

I would have though they'd want us to go in the forest,

you know, "Go, find that murderer..." [chuckles]

You build up a thing,

you know, you think you'd wanna see that through

but, no, the audience has voted

and we must respect that.

Come on, everybody,

to the mystery mobile.

Damn, I wanted to go in there and find that guy.

Fight him in hand-to-hand combat.

The ultimate ending to a show.

I am disappointed in you, audience.

[Marquess humming]

[Marquess] Mmm!

Oh! Remember, about a month ago

when we went to Reidsville, Georgia,

and we were about to go after that escaped prisoner?

No, remind me again.

That's not important.

Anyway, it says he came out of the forest

and murdered a gas station attendant,

stole a vehicle,

was then chased by police

where he drove off a bridge into a river.

[gasps] His body was not recovered. Presumed dead.

Oh, so, it's a happy ending.

Ah, oh, well, except for that gas station attendant.

But, you know, that's not, you know,

not really a life, now, is it?

So you're saying that mystery is officially solved?

Uh, yeah. I guess.

And you saying that's a mystery that we were involved in at one point?

Yes, Michael.

Great, I'm gonna have Deezy invoice for that.

Deezy! Deezy! Where are you, fool?

[laughs] I bet he's taking a shit.

[gasps] Oh, my God! He must still be in Atlanta!

Okay, what do we do? Just fan out and start looking?

Looking for the body.

I mean, he's dead. We haven't heard from the guy in a month.

Whoever was catfishing him obviously murdered him.

Probably [bleep] his dead body,

probably cut the head off and

[bleep] where the head once was.

I bet that's what happened.

[gasps] Oh, my God. Look!

Deezy.

Oh, man, what, man?

That's not Deezy.

What? Why is he wearing Deezy's clothes?

Wait, are we 100% sure this isn't Deezy?

Yung, check his pockets, see if there're any clues.

Uh, you check his pockets.

Oh, fine. Hi, sir.

Hello. I am going to reach

into your pocket, okay?

Okay, well...

Oh, [gasps] I think I feel his wallet.

-[yelling] -[Marquess screaming]

Stop, stop. Oh.

Get him off me. Michael!

Ugh! You're wet. Why are you so wet?

Should we do something?

Let's let the audience decide.

For those that want to let Marquess fight

this urine-soaked homeless man...

[Marquess] Pigeon!

Dad, do something.

Deezy, Deezy, let him go.

[Marquess gasping]

Ugh! My God!

Here.

This says Natasha.

-And it has a phone number. -Let's call it.

[dialing]

[line rings]

-[Deezy] Hello. -Deezy.

Mike? Oh, thank God.

I can't believe I'm getting reception.

You gotta help me.

Okay, Deezy, we're coming. Where are you?

Oh, man. I don't know.

Somewhere in the woods. I don't know where I am.

-Mike, you gotta hurry-- -[line disconnects]

Oh, damn, the call dropped.

How are we gonna find him?

Easy. I put a microchip in Deezy right in the back of his neck.

Right at the base of his skull.

He was asleep and I just chipped him,

so I always know where he's at.

I did it to all of you.

What on Earth for?

I have abandonment issues.

We're getting close.

Oh, my God.

Are we back in Reidsville?

When were we ever in Reidsville?

[gasps] Look, he's off somewhere to the right.

But turn here.

[tires screeching]

[brakes screech]

Deezy, what the hell happened to you?

Oh, God, it was terrible.

Well, first it was great.

Here, let me tell you the whole story.

After you guys drove away,

I admit I was a little worried

because I couldn't find Natasha.

And it was a seedy part of town.

But then I heard the sound of cameras clicking.

And I saw her.

She was doing her lingerie photoshoot.

And they chose the location for that gritty feel.

Natasha insisted that I be in it with her.

You know, to spice things up. We made love on camera.

[Marquess] Oh, my God.

Anyway,

when I went to put my clothes back on, they were gone.

I guess someone stole 'em.

But Natasha just bought me a whole new wardrobe.

I told you she was rich.

We spent the next month just buying things and making love.

Natasha was so into me, she said she wanted me to meet her parents.

On the way, I realized

I shouldn't show up empty-handed.

So I asked her to pull over at a gas station

so I can get a nice bottle of wine.

I didn't have my wallet so she gave me her purse.

-[man yelling] -Suddenly there was the most terrifying roar.

And I watched a monster man kill the gas station attendant with his bare hands.

Then he jumped into Natasha's car,

with Natasha still in it.

So I jumped on the roof as he sped off.

I climbed to the side to stop him

and he crashed off the bridge into the river below.

When I came to,

I saw him carry Natasha into the forest.

I followed his ass, he keeps her in this cave.

You gotta save her, Mike.

So in other words, you got catfished.

[man screaming]

Come on.

He's in there, Mike.

You gotta fight him, hand-to-hand combat.

Yeah, just me against this super-strong maniac killer.

And we're finally gonna get the ultimate ending to this show.

Come on out here, mother... [bleep]

[Lyle yelling]

[growls]

[grunts]

Hmm, I hope you're hungry

'cause you're about to get a knuckle sandwich.

-[gunshot] -[groans]

Oh, damn, I forgot the warden gave me that pistol.

-But how did it go off? -[Natasha] Deezy.

Huh, he wasn't catfished at all.

[Natasha moans]

Man, I mean, that's crazy. All I did was this.

-[gunshot] -[groans]

Sorry, Deezy.

[theme music playing]