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I guess the first time anybody came right out and said it was when I was six years old.

- Who is it? - Me, Natalie!

Natalie, darling, what's wrong?

What happened?

It was Kenny schroder, mama!

He called me a name!

A name? What kind of a name?

It wasn't my fault! I warned Kenny what would happen if he said it again!

Mama, don't let them in! It wasn't my fault!

Look. Look what she did, your gangster daughter.

You know, there's only one place for a girl like that, Mrs. Miller.

That's sing sing. Sing sing with the rest of the gangsters.

Mrs. schroder, calm yourself.

- What are they? - What do they look like?

Teeth! Beautiful teeth like you never saw before.

Seven years old and he's gonna have to have a bridge and all on account of your daughter, the gangster.

Sorry, Mrs. schroder, but your son, he called her names.

"Clown face" he called her, that's all, just clown face.

A terrible thing to call a girl.

Mrs. Miller, I raised Kenneth never to lie.

He said what he saw.

To pick up a shovel and knock out teeth when someone tells the truth...

I don't have to take that kind of talk in my house.

Now please leave, I've got nothing more to say to you.

To me you don't have to talk, to my lawyer you'll talk plenty!

Natalie, darling, come on out.

No, I want to stay here in the dark!

- For how long? - For my whole life

because I'm funny-looking and I'm homely just like Kenny schroder said.

Natalie, you're not homely.

You have a very sweet face.

Sweet is for a grape, mama.

I'm a girl. I want to be pretty.

Look, when you grow up, you'll be pretty.

That's when it's important.

Now you shouldn't think about it.

How do you know I'll be pretty when I grow up?

Please, come on out.

No. First, tell me how you know I'll be pretty.

Well, little girls with sweet faces like yours,

they always grow up to be pretty.

It's the girls who are pretty when they're little

that grow up not to be pretty when they're big.

- Are you sure, mama? - Ah, believe me, darling.

That's how god evens things out.

Come on, baby, come on out.

Mama lied.

I guess I put papa on the spot, too, when he asked me what I wanted for my seventh birthday.

A mirror? What do you need a mirror for for your birthday?

So I can watch myself grow pretty.

Like mama said.

Ugh! Oh, Natalie.

Natalie, darling, there are mirrors all over the house.

You don't need your own mirror.

And, anyway, I told you not to worry about it.

It'll... it'll happen.

You just have to wait and not think about it.

Of course it'll happen.

It's happening now.

- You think so, papa? - Mm-hm.

But a mirror you don't need.

I'll be your mirror.

To me, you're already beautiful.

I guess I don't have to tell you this wasn't me.

This was Betty Simon, my best friend.

I hated her.

I was the girl next to her.

The boy was Stanley Dexter.

I feel like I spent practically all my school years

passing notes back and forth between these two sex perverts.

I felt sorry for Betty.

I mean, still believing what mama said about pretty girls growing up to be ugly.

When I thought of how ugly she was gonna get, I wanted to cry.

Some ugly she turned out.

That's me in the tiger outfit.

I wanted to be a cheerleader, but I guess they felt it would be better for team morale

if girls like Betty Simon were cheering for them.

Maybe if I really was a tiger, somebody would've asked me if I was hurt.

I had three sprained vertebrae in my lower lumbar region.

It meant the end of my career as a tiger.

That hurt. I wasn't just Natalie Miller.

I was Natalie, the team tiger.

It gave me identity.

I finally got my own mirror.

My uncle Harold, who was in the Navy, sent it to me from Japan for my seventh birthday

after papa mentioned in a letter I'd asked for one.

I remember thinking it was the greatest mirror in the world when I got it.

Isn't it terrible how one day you can think something is the greatest and the next day you hate it?

Not that it happened that fast with me, but by the time I was 17, I had to admit,

that mirror and me were on the outs.

Still, even the things you hate you sometimes can't help loving

because of what they've been through with you.

Natalie, are you almost dressed?

A minute, mama.

Natalie, darling, hurry, you'll miss the bus.

Natalie, darling, you ready?

Oh! Oh, darling.

You look lovely.

Let me try my fur stole just for a little something extra.

Mama, I'm gonna call Betty and tell her I can't go.

Why can't you go?

Well, you're all dressed, it's a Saturday night.

Go enjoy yourself.

I thought about it, and just because Betty Simon calls me at the last minute to tell me that she's gotten me a date,

if I could be ready in two hours, is no reason to change our plans.

I mean, after all, mama, papa was bringing home a pizza and we were gonna watch television.

Oh, Natalie, so for once you miss Saturday night at the movies at home.

But why disappoint your date?

You know, he might be a very nice boy.

Will you try the stole just for me, huh?

Oh, come on, it's not that hard.

Sit up, let me just put it on your shoulders.

There, now we'll get your hair out.

Oh, that's not so bad.

Put your... put your arm through here 'cause it'll slip otherwise.

Here now, just let me look at you.

Oh. Oh, you look lovely.

Go on, hurry. Hurry, you'll miss the bus.

Mama, you really think I should wear this stole?

I mean, I just don't think that girls are wearing these anymore.

Well, I think it looks very nice on you.

But if it makes you uncomfortable...

Look, you wear what you think the boy will like.

- I'll wear the stole, mama. - Good.

I mean, it might get cold, and why should I be cold just for a blind date?

- I'm gonna get my bag. - What do you mean "just for a blind date"?

You know, your father was a blind date.

Just don't let him get too over-enthusiastic the first night.

- Don't worry. - Aw, who's worried?

Don't forget to take car fare home just in case...

Okay, so maybe I cared what my date would think.

You want an apology?

I mean, you never know.

Maybe he'd be different.

Like mama said, papa was a blind date.

Oh, Natalie, we were almost going to leave without you.

Come on, guys, she's here.

So you made it, eh, nat?

Hey, Harvey, come meet Natalie.

There he is. The enemy.

Anyone who gives me that look is the enemy.

- Thanks, Stanley. - What do you want from me?

Well, don't you think we better go?

All right? Let's go.

Come on.

- Well, are you coming? - Why not?

Wait a second, it's getting cold.

Geez, what's that?

A dead cat. I wear it to keep away evil spirits.

Wish I'd have worn one.

Want to dance?

My name is...

Are you dancing or taking a tour?

I'm dancing, what do you think? Come on.

You have a nice body, you know that?

- You think so? - Yeah.

- Look, my name... - Listen, do you put out?

- You mean at least? - What do you mean?

Do you put out or don't you?

No.

I don't know what I'm doing talking to you.

Somebody like you ought to be asking me.

- Would you like to dance, miss? - Get lost.

I can't stand losers.

Now why'd I say that?

I mean, that was a terrible thing to say to a boy like that.

He probably has a mirror at home that he looks in every day just like me.

Hey, nat! Nat, would you like to go with us?

Stanley can drop you off after he drops me off.

It's on his way home.

Maybe she wants to wait for Harvey, they can take a taxi or something.

I don't need Harvey, I can take the bus.

Oh, why should you have to take a bus?

Come on, Stanley can drop you on his way home.

He doesn't mind, do you, Stanley?

- If you don't, I don't. - Good.

Nat, would you mind sitting in front for a while?

Oh, Stanley. Stanley.

Oh!

My uncle Harold was coming home.

I was very excited about it because I've always been crazy about my uncle Harold

even though I hadn't seen him since I was a little girl.

He joined the Navy as a pharmacist mate during the war and then stayed in it.

But he picked up some type of tropical crud like malaria, beriberi,

or whatever it is you pick up in the Navy,

and they were retiring him with some medals and half pay.

The thing that I remembered especially was that he always used to call me "Princess."

The "little Princess."

I guess he really made me feel like that's what I was to him.

- Natalie, they're here! - Okay, mama!

Edna! I - Harold, you're here!

Oh!

Oh, I'm glad to see you!

You know, you're losing your hair.

What do you want, I'm losing my hair.

What do you mean? That's all right, he makes me feel younger.

You'd never believe I was your older brother.

I believe you're my older brother. Take my hat, older brother.

You look... where's my little Princess?

Oh, she'll be right out. Natalie!

Come on. How was the Navy?

Well, it was someplace to go, it was something to do.

Listen, here, have some grapes.

Now not too much because we're gonna have a big supper.

So, come on now, talk to me, how was the plane ride?

Now couldn't they send a sailor home by boat?

I mean, it's safer.

What do you mean "safer"? He's here.

That's right, I'm here. Look, I haven't got the time for boats, you know that.

Oh, but we worried.

We worried, Sidney. By boat, we wouldn't have worried.

Well, the plane ride was all right, edna, believe me.

- Where is she? - Oh, she's still dressing.

You know, she wants to look extra nice for that uncle of hers.

Nice is good enough, you know.

Extra nice is for boyfriends, not for uncles.

I wanted to see him more than any other person I knew,

but I remember suddenly thinking I couldn't open the door

because I didn't have on my tiger costume.

Natalie?

- Is she going to college? - Well, if she wants to.

Natalie.

Who knows what she wants?

What do you mean she can't explain?

She has to explain.

Tomorrow, it's no longer my brother, the sailor.

Tomorrow, it's my brother, the partner I'm gonna be seeing every day in the drugstore.

Friday nights, he's my brother, the bachelor.

Don't you think he's entitled once in a while to a good home-cooked meal

and the only family that he knows?

How am I going to invite him?

What am I going to say to him every day? "Harold, Natalie is still out for that walk."

Sidney, sit, shh, sit down, sit down and lower your voice.

- You'll wake her. - So I'll wake her. So?

She merits consideration after what she did?

Shh, lower your voice.

Look, sid, I don't think it's because she...

She didn't want to see Harold.

I think it's just because she's upset about a lot of things just now.

- For instance? - Well, for instance, the high school graduation dance.

Now that's less than... Less than two weeks away

and she doesn't have a boy to take her.

You think that's not on her mind?

Believe me, Sidney, that's on her mind.

I guess it's supposed to be one of the most important times in a girl's life,

but I wasn't even thinking about the graduation dance.

I mean, I was thinking a lot about graduation, but not about the dance.

But hearing them talk about it reminded me because I had to think about it.

Because then I did something really silly.

I made mama buy me this expensive evening gown because I told her that I had met this premed student

who lived in New Jersey and he had asked to take me to the dance.

I don't know why [I did it, except maybe I knew papa would be paying for it.

I guess I was angry at him for not understanding about uncle Harold.

Mama, it's only for one night. What's papa gonna say?

You let me worry about papa.

It's your graduation dance.

After all, how often do you go out with a doctor?

Look, I told you, he's not a doctor.

He's a med student.

A premed student.

Suppose he doesn't even show up.

I mean, I told you he wouldn't even come and pick me up at the house.

I have to meet him at the hoboken ferry.

Natalie, now, please, you told me yourself,

he didn't... why should he come all the way to Brooklyn

when the dance is in Manhattan and it's easier to meet him there?

Uh, would you excuse us just a minute?

Sit down.

Natalie, darling, listen.

That dress looks beautiful on you.

I want you to have it.

If... if nothing else, do it to make me happy.

Okay.

The trouble with people like mama is

that when their daughters turn out not to be pretty, they blame themselves.

I felt terrible.

But the only thing I could do now was go through with it.

I even went to meet the ferry that night, just as if I expected that boy to actually be there.

I mean, I knew it was all a lie and I wasn't meeting anyone.

But the crazy thing was that when the boat started coming in,

I actually thought that maybe he'd be there.

I mean, if you read some of those women's magazines, you know that sometimes it can happen that way.

Yes, can I help you?

Hi, uncle Harold.

Well...

Princess.

No, just me, Natalie.

Just you, Natalie.

- Look at you. - Yeah, look at me.

The Princess that turned into a dog.

Now that's a grim fairy tale if there ever was one.

So how are ya, uncle Harold?

How does it feel to be working for a living instead of running around the world,

chasing girls in every port?

Well, chasing girls was nice, and working for a living is nice.

I finished chasing girls years ago.

And I'm happy working for a living.

In fact, I'm happy to be living.

Your father told me that you were going to a graduation dance.

What are you doing here now?

- Just wanted to say hello. - Well, what happened to your date?

I don't know.

He probably jumped off the hoboken ferry and drowned.

Somebody probably tipped him off to what he was going out with.

So, you're trying to tell me that you're not beautiful.

You know what's really important, Natalie, is are you still my Princess?

Have you ever seen a Princess that wasn't beautiful?

Oh, beautiful.

What is beautiful?

Beautiful is what keeps boys from jumping off the hoboken ferry.

Yes, boys. Boys, not men, because boys don't know what they want.

What are you trying to do, uncle Harold, give me hope?

I don't know. Do you need hope?

Hope maybe.

Not lies.

And not words.

Natalie, do you see all these bottles around here?

Which one do you think is the most beautiful?

- Games? - No, tell me.

Which one do you think is the most beautiful?

- That one. - Okay, now, to me,

this is the most beautiful.

You want to know why?

Because this one can stop pain.

It can ease suffering and make sick people well.

I also know that that is nothing but colored water.

And, Natalie, it's no different with people.

You see, the boy will still pick that one because, well, that's all he wants,

that's all he can cope with.

But a man will pick this

because he realizes what's inside.

Also, Natalie, you were never my little Princess because you were that

but because you were this.

Hello? Are you still open?

When somebody tells you something that you've been telling yourself all your life,

you don't ruin it by asking questions.

You just know that it's true.

I mean, it had to be because it made sense.

I was like that bottle of nauseous-looking green gook,

just waiting to save the life of any man who had sense enough to realize what I was.

Listen, tell me, what kind of a girl is it who collects rocks?

A rock-collecting girl.

To me, uncle Harold was the only real man person in the whole world.

- Uncle Harold? - Yes, what is it?

Tell me something. You don't intend to die a bachelor, do you?

- No. - Don't laugh, I'm serious.

I just don't think that it's fair that men should go around being bachelors all their lives.

I mean, it's just not healthy for the women.

Uncle Harold, I know this woman, Mrs. kaylis.

She owns the candy store near my old high school.

She's a...

She's a widow about your age.

Well, we kid each other, she says, "Natalie, you look out for me,

I'll look out for you."

She's a little on the heavy side, uncle Harold, but she's a lovely person.

Well, there is someone I'm seeing now.

- You're kidding. - No.

Oh, uncle Harold, I'm so excited!

Tell me about her.

- Who is she? - Well, I'll be bringing her to dinner

at your parents' house soon.

You'll be meeting her, and she's a...

She's a wonderful woman, I hope you like her.

I'm sure I'll like her, uncle Harold.

It's about time you found somebody.

I'm so happy for ya, I can't wait to meet her.

I really was glad when uncle Harold told me about finding someone.

After what he told me that night in the store,

uncle Harold was the last person in the world I thought would turn out to be a fink.

I'll get it, ma!

Natalie, this is my friend, Shirley Norton,

and this, Shirley, is my niece, Natalie, the rock collector.

Hello, Natalie.

Gee, I'm glad to meet you.

Harold has been telling me so much about you.

- Hello. - Well, I guess we better go in.

Come on.

Sid, this is Shirley Norton. This is my brother, sid.

This is my sister-in-law, edna.

Hello, I'm happy to meet you.

Anyway, when I left frisco, I never thought I was gonna see Shirley again,

and what do you think happened?

I get a phone call from her, from New York.

She's got a job in Manhattan and, boy, was I glad to hear from her.

It was crazy, the whole thing, because I never expected I'd see Harold again either.

But, then, two days after he left, my manager calls and says

he's got three weeks for me at the ho-ho a-go-go in Manhattan.

So I say, "sure, I'll take it 'cause I need the work."

- What kind of work do you do, Ms. Norton? - She's a dancer, she dances.

Well, Natalie here studied ballet for a whole year.

Cost $200 just to teach her how to stand on her toes.

Isn't the three weeks up yet, miss Norton?

I wish everyone would call me Shirley.

- I was held over. - Yeah, she can stay on the job

as long as she wants to now, she's a very good dancer.

I thought of all the deserving women that should've been sitting there in Shirley's place next to Harold.

You've got to see her dance someday.

- Name the night. - I will.

Someday soon you're gonna see her, all of you.

Oh, we'd love to. Oh, what kind of dancing do you do?

Good dancing, she dances good,

but you know what's even better than her dancing is her cooking.

She cooks almost as good as you do, edna.

Oh, by the way, Natalie, before I forget, Shirley here wants to go to night school,

and I thought maybe you could help her out, you know, with some information.

Sure, Natalie will help.

Well, anyway, we decided,

Shirley and me, to...

To get married.

Married?

- Harold, it's about time! - Married! Oh!

I thought you'd say that!

- Congratulations! - Aren't you thrilled, Sidney?

- When? What's the date? - We haven't decided yet, but it's gonna be soon.

We'll see.

Mama, uh...

Everybody, excuse me, please, I must have ate something wrong.

Oh, the horseradish, it must have been the horseradish.

Sometimes it doesn't agree with her.

Natalie?

Natalie.

Natalie!

Wait a minute.

- Natalie, I'm sorry. - For what?

For lying?

For telling me stories about red bottles and green bottles?

For giving me hope and then making me realize what an idiot I was for believing ya?

Natalie, all I can tell you is that I love this woman.

It's okay.

You love her, you're entitled.

So, instead of the green bottle, you chose the red bottle.

With a 40-inch bust.

So what does that make you, uncle Harold?

Well, whatever it makes me, it makes you wrong to judge her like that.

It makes me wrong?

Oh, boy.

Why did you have to tell me stories, uncle Harold?

Why did you have to give me hope that maybe there was a reason for being what I am?

'Cause it's true, you have to be what you are,

just as I do, just as everybody does.

If we want to be what we are, we have to do what we feel is right for ourselves.

I feel that Shirley is right for me now and I'm right for her.

I'm sure you are, uncle Harold.

I'm sure you're both right for each other.

Coming downstairs?

Don't embarrass your parents.

Say goodnight to Shirley.

I'll be down in a minute.

I wouldn't embarrass them.

Listen, they're nice people.

Goodnight, Princess.

Bye.

All I could think of was if the uncle harolds fink out on you,

what chance do the natalies of the world have?

I guess I spent almost every day the next few weeks at the beach,

thinking about what was gonna happen once I got to college,

wondering when I was gonna start being some kind of person.

Hester, do you ever feel left out?

Out of what?

Out of the world?

What world?

You finally realize it's a conspiracy.

That our whole society is a conspiracy of beauty.

And I could either turn into a vegetable like hester or I could fight.

I was gonna fight.

It's your uncle Harold.

He's dead.

I didn't go to my uncle's funeral.

I told my parents I just didn't feel well enough to go.

They didn't say anything to force me because they thought I was just too upset.

I really didn't feel anything.

I mean, I know it's terrible to say that, and I felt guilty.

But it was true, and I thought it would be even worse lo be standing there in the rain

with everyone crying and not feeling anything.

And then, I started college.

Expelled for inciting a riot!

The no college generation!

Nobody goes to classes! They're all out picketing!

Sidney, please, lower your voice.

The neighbors will hear.

Honest to god, papa, if you'd have been Joan of arc's father,

then France would never have been saved.

You're not Joan of arc!

You're Natalie of Brooklyn!

As the weeks went by, it seemed harder and harder to find an interesting rock.

The hardest thing was to go home and face mama and papa

and tell them I hadn't found an interesting job or met an interesting boy.

I know the boy part worried them more than the job.

Natalie, darling, do you remember your second cousin, Sarah?

Well, she has a cousin, dora, who has a son, Morris.

They're very nice people, your parents.

I mean, it's nice for your parents to make a boy feel welcome like that.

I'm sure your parents are very nice, too, Morris.

There's only my mother, but yes, she's a very nice person.

Well, Natalie, where would you like to go?

How about the ho-ho a-go-go?

- What's that? - I don't know, let's find out.

It was over a year since my uncle Harold died.

I didn't expect Shirley to still be working there.

Well, well, look who's here, the judge.

Hello, miss Norton.

"Hello, miss Norton."

Well, I'm okay.

Come on. Come on with me and let's talk.

Come on.

I've got to get ready, come on.

Here it is.

Home.

Sit there.

L... 1 got to hurry.

Oh, does that bug you, kid?

Don't let it bug you.

It's just to cover the big scars, don't mean a thing.

Just kicks.

That boy out front mean anything to you?

I didn't think so.

You're still in cherry pink and apple blossom time, aren't you?

- You still hate me. - I don't know.

I don't think so.

You thought I was a tramp, didn't you?

Well, you were right.

I was. I am.

You want to know something?

I would've made your uncle Harold the best wife a man ever had.

He knew what I was, everything.

You know...

Your uncle Harold was a nice guy.

I mean, areal...

Something hard to find, a nice guy.

I knew how sick he was, but I didn't care.

I just wanted to be with him.

All the crumbs that go on living and Harold has to die.

You want some advice from an old pro?

I'll give it to you and all the cherry pink squares like you waiting for it to happen

like in the picture books.

It don't happen that way.

And if you ever find it, grab it.

Don't ask any questions, don't make any conditions.

Just grab it and hold on till it's gone.

Because it don't happen that often.

Take it from me, kid.

It don't happen that often.

Hey...

Did I ever tell you what a very nice guy your uncle Harold was?

Yeah.

Good.

I just wanted you to know.

Hey, are you crying or something?

No.

What makes you think that?

I just thought you were.

Your eyes are a little crooked, you know?

Did you ever notice that about your eyes, that they're a little crooked?

Thank you for being so observant, Morris.

That's something I always wanted to know about my eyes.

I mean about them being crooked.

- I was never too sure. - You can take it from me.

They're crooked.

Not a lot, just a little.

You could probably get them straightened out with an operation if they bother you.

They seem to bother you a lot more than they bother me.

Well, it's just that I'm very observant about people's eyes

being that optometry is my profession.

You have nice pupils, though.

I mean, they look very clear.

- Yours look a little dull to me. - Really?

I don't think they do.

Maybe it's just the light.

You can't see them very well.

My mother says they have kind of a sparkle to them.

Maybe if you looked closer, you'd see it, too.

You know, Natalie, you have a terrific body.

I mean, I noticed when you walked, you have a better body than that dancer we saw tonight,

the one you said was your friend.

- I do, huh? - Yeah.

You know, that was a very sexy show that dancer friend of yours put on.

I mean, she really looked like she was doing it.

- Doing what? - I'll show you.

Oh!

Morris, do you have a hundred dollars?

- A hundred dollars? - Yeah, a hundred dollars 'cause that's what it costs.

You want me to tell you what's going on?

You know my friend, the dancer?

Well, to tell you the truth, Morris, she's a madam.

And she has homely girls all over the city, like me, working for her,

and we bring all our dates to the ho-ho a-go-go so that she can get them excited,

and then we take them back, and by this time, they're so excited

that they don't even care who they're with.

But she always warned us of one thing, get the hundred dollars first

because, afterwards, they're gonna say, "what am I doing with a dog like this,"

and then you'll never get the money.

So, Morris, do you have the hundred dollars?

Natalie, you're a nice girl.

Of course I'm a nice girl!

That's part of the whole operation!

Nice girls to get to nice boys.

That's why we're so expensive.

Morris, do you have the money or don't ya?

Natalie, you're kidding.

A hundred dollars?

Actually, I only get ten dollars.

My friend gets $90, she figures she does all the work and we have all the fun.

Natalie, don't joke at a time like this.

Look, I'll give you your ten dollars.

Can't you tell your friend nothing happened?

Morris.

Morris, what do you take me for?

You said yourself I was a nice girl.

Do you think that a nice girl can cheat on her own madam?

Look, I think you better take me home before I get angry.

And remember one thing, Morris, if you mention one single word to anybody

that I belong to the syndicate, I'm gonna have to call your mother up

and tell her that you tried to rape me!

Three weeks later, Morris was the cause of my leaving home.

Morris has been calling every day for three weeks.

He must be serious, he's a nice boy.

Papa, I'm not going out with Morris again.

He's a schnook!

Well, nobody's perfect.

I'm not looking for perfect, but I'm sure there are a lot of nice fellas

that fall in between perfect and a schnook.

Or is that all you think I'm capable of attracting?

All right, Natalie.

Please, let's forget about this Morris.

You know, sid, I didn't like it when I heard his mother told Sarah

he took a hundred dollars out of his bank account without explaining why.

Ah, now that Morris, he must be a gambler or something.

But now, Mr. simmon's son.

You know, Natalie, I was talking to Mr. simmon just this week,

and he was saying that Lester...

Mother, I know Lester.

He's such an idiot.

Look, would you both please do me a favor?

From now on, let me find my own boyfriends, huh?

Well, find them! Who's stopping ya?

We're just trying to help.

How?

By buying me a husband?

Papa?

Papa, it's true?

What were you gonna do?

Put up the money for Morris's optometrist shop if he was gonna marry me?

What's wrong with helping a young couple get started?

Papa...

Papa, everything is wrong if it's done that way.

Look, did you ever think, either of you,

that maybe I don't need help finding a husband?

Maybe I need help finding myself.

All we want is to see you happy.

When you see all your girlfriends getting married or at least engaged

like Betty Simon and that boy, Stanley?

So you two... you two have already decided

that by 20 I'm gonna be an old maid!

That's exactly what can happen

if you don't get out in the world and meet people.

Okay.

Okay, papa.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

And you and mama don't have to worry about me

or feel sorry for me anymore.

Natalie, what are you doing?

Going out in the world like papa said.

No! Natalie, come on!

Nat, it's your father. Papa was just talking generalities.

It was nothing to take serious.

Sidney, Sidney, please, go talk to her.

- Tell her you didn't... - Natalie!

Natalie, don't act crazy.

Come out and watch television.

Okay, so I was afraid.

So, if you're a girl, you understand what it is, a moment like that.

Now be nice, Oscar.

Oh, yes, dearie?

Are you looking for a room?

Yeah.

You're lucky, dearie.

We have an availability.

Now, Oscar, you stay there. That's right.

Ma'am, I'm actually looking for Shirley Norton.

There wasn't a name on the bell, but a friend said she lives here.

Oh, Shirley.

Oh, I'm afraid Shirley took the big dive.

- Are you a friend of hers? - Kind of. A big dive?

Yes, poor darling, about three weeks ago.

I'm afraid she took one twister too many.

I warned her one day it would happen.

If you ask me, it was intentional.

Though, that was her business.

We never interfere with our tenants.

Ma'am, you mean she's dead?

Oh, left a vacancy, as we say in the business.

Of course she'd still be up there if it wasn't for that drunken sailor friend of hers

who broke down the door and found her.

Oh, you're not on the stuff, are you, dearie?

- No, ma'am. - Oh, good.

What floor did you say this apartment was on?

Coming up! Fourth floor.

We'll get the elevator fixed someday, but the stairs are really much healthier once you get used to it.

Oh! Max, Freddie!

Ooh!

That's Max and Freddie.

Oh, a lovely couple.

Now, isn't that lovely?

And, of course, if you do decide to take it,

it can become whatever your imagination makes it.

And it isn't easy to find an apartment in the village here, you know?

Now, here.

Here's an added special.

The dumbwaiter.

The tenants use it for bringing packages up from the basement

instead of having to carry them all the way up the stairs, you see?

Not many buildings still around with that convenience.

Not at 3.50 a day.

Miss dennison, maybe I will stay tonight for 3.50.

Of course, if I do decide to stay longer, the 3.50 could always count on the month's rent, right?

Yes, of course, dear.

I'll send your bags up in the dumbwaiter.

Okay.

Oh, please be careful with my mirror, it's very precious.

I know, dear. So was mine when I was your age.

I really couldn't imagine Shirley ever having lived there

because as soon as I stepped into that apartment,

I felt that with a little work, it could really be me.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't anything I'd care to invite my parents down to see me doing.

But you know something?

[ Didn't mind being a waitress at all in that costume.

In fact, I liked it.

In fact, as the weeks went by, there wasn't anything about the village that I didn't like.

Come on, moose.

Uh, pardon me.

You see my moose head got stuck in your dumbwaiter, I live upstairs.

I hope I didn't interrupt anything important.

I mean, it's none of my business but I know how aggravating it is

when people drop in unexpectedly.

Smile, you're on candid camera!

So what if there was a man right under my apartment with a naked girl?

I mean, live and let live.

That's a pretty sneaky way to get a girl naked!

Rembrandt's women all had their clothes on!

Degenerate!

I was really coming up with a lot of crazy habits.

Like every Sunday morning there was one section of the paper

that I really enjoyed reading, the obituaries.

Especially about bachelors.

Did you ever think how many girls a bachelor, especially a rich bachelor, has probably used

before rigor mortis hoisted him by his own petard?

I really felt sorry for those girls.

I guess I must have been thinking about it that Sunday,

wondering if there was anything I could do now as an individual.

It really started out as kind of a joke.

Eaton...

I'll never forget you.

Miss, we couldn't help overhearing.

You heard?

Forget it, I didn't even know eaton.

Now, now.

Why don't we sit down and have a talk?

Eric, bring the limousine.

A thousand dollars?!

Look, I can't take money from eaton's family, it's too much!

I mean, I was lying, the whole thing's a lie, I didn't even know him!

Then think of the check as a gift we want you to have.

But we want you to realize that, in exchange for that gift,

you agree to sign away all claims against his estate whatsoever, forever.

Even if I didn't know him?

You sign the waiver of claims, cash the check, take the money,

and we'll be happy to accept that you did not know Mr. Remington.

Thank you, child.

You're welcome.

Look, could somebody drive me back to my Honda, I left it parked at the front gate.

Walk!

You little tramp.

- Oh! - What's wrong?

Oh, a miscarriage, the doctor warned me not to get excited, oh!

Oh no, not here. Eric, get the limousine!

Be calm, child, be calm!

Eric, hurry, take her to her motorcycle!

Oh!

When you never really had much money of your own

$1,000 in one lump is enough to change a person's whole life.

If they spent it wisely.

For $400, we can give you this.

For $475, we can let you have this!

Now this is a beauty.

That's the winner if you ask me.

- Oh! - I'm sorry.

Don't touch those!

I think you'd be making a mistake.

It just seemed like such a finky, coward thing to do.

Besides, there was nothing wrong with my nose, it was just that it was born at the wrong time.

In ancient Egypt, a woman would have died to have a nose like mine.

But go tell that to a boy in Brooklyn.

All they want are noses that look like they just came off the assembly line in Detroit.

Ah, the hell with the boys in Brooklyn...

And to that sex maniac downstairs too!

The great thing about going to the maharishi instead of going to a psychiatrist

was that you didn't have to talk about your sex problems.

All you had to do was sit right and forget about 'em.

Would you unlock me please?

It's the lotus position, I can't get out.

Thanks.

Now concentrate!

Concentration is everything.

Come in!

Why do you keep throwing rocks on the floor?

My hobby is juggling, sometimes I miss.

Maybe you oughta change hobbies.

Oh really? What would you suggest, modeling?

Posing for you?

Well, as a matter of fact, that is one of the reasons I came up here.

I would like you to pose for me, I'd be willing to pay...

Listen, if you think you can get me to take off my clothes, forget it, huh?

Well, it's not your body I'm interested in, it's your face.

What are you trying to do, start a fight?

Look, I don't mean to put you on the defensive.

And I'm not about to tell you that you're beautiful it's just...

Well, as an artist, you have a very interesting face and I would like to paint it.

Now, do you want to pose or don't you?

You said you'd pay.

Did you pay the other girl?

Yeah of course, she's a professional model.

Oh, she looked professional all right.

How do you pay then, by the hour or the night?

It depends on what I want them for.

I'm sorry I bothered you, goodbye.

How much?

Fif... ten dollars an hour.

You said fifteen.

That's for nudes.

I just want your face.

Okay, ten dollars an hour, what do I do?

Sit down.

Why do you wear that dog collar on your ankle?

'Cause I like it.

- 'Cause it's me. - Who's you?

- Natalie Miller, who's you? - David Harris.

That the only reason?

No.

I wear it to tell people that I know who I am.

Why, because you're afraid they might tell you first?

Look, if I have to strip down to the bare truth, I want the nude rate, fifteen dollars an hour.

We'll stick to ten, just stop knocking yourself.

We don't have to go around announcing to people that we're less than they are

just because we don't have the courage to be more.

Listen, you sold any good paintings lately?

No.

- Sold any paintings lately? - No, I have never sold a painting, period.

You sure you've got ten dollars, I mean, you could owe it to me.

Don't worry, I'm not a starving artist, I can afford to pay my way.

You mean you're not an artist?

I'm an architect, a successful one who would like to be a painter.

I came here on vacation, just call it therapy.

You're wearing a dog collar too, just like me.

Only I let mine show.

Funny.

What is?

You're good-looking, I never thought good-looking people had problems.

Listen.

Mr. Harris, if you wanna paint,

why don't you just give up everything else and just paint?

The walking wounded giving advice.

Yeah, well,

sometimes there's just the wounded left to help the other wounded,

everyone else has run for the hills.

Sitting's over.

Finished?

You call that finished?

You haven't even started, I've only been here five minutes.

Oh, no, no, look, I don't want an hour's pay for five minutes.

It's all right, keep it.

You want me to pose for you again?

I'll let you know.

Listen, is that how you get your kicks?

By getting girls up here to pose for you and then sending them away?

Well, if that is it, Mr. Harris, get somebody else next time.

Look, you think I'm not gonna keep this, I will.

This is your last chance, you tell me to keep it all and I'm gonna keep it all.

Keep it all.

You keep it!

Max, Freddie, it's me, Natalie.

- Look, about that party Friday, count me in. - Right.

How you doin', Warner, nice to meet ya.

Are you alone?

Hey, Natalie?

It's fantastic!

Look, I'm gonna go over there and get a drink of this punch.

Freddie, brother, that girl used to flying?

No way, no how, boy, why?

Well, she's gonna fly tonight.

Bloody Seymour put acid in the punch bowl.

Mama!

Papal!

Sailing!

Oh, look, mama, papa, your daughter is sailing to the moon!

The dark.

Dark.

The dark, a dark, dry box.

Oh, baby, please come on out.

No, mama.

I'm gonna stay in here my whole life...

Because I'm funny-looking!

Just like Kenny schroder said.

Natalie, darling, please come on out.

Mama?

Mama?

I'm ready.

Mama!

Mama, I wanna come out now.

Mama, where's your hand?

Mama, please let me out of here, mama!

Mama, where's your hand?

Mama, mama, mama, where's your hand, mama!

What's wrong?

What are you doing in my bed?

You happen to be in my bed.

Your bed?

What am I doing in your bed?

Now what is a girl usually do in a man's bed?

How was I?

Hmm, interesting.

Interesting, that's all?

Why, isn't that clinical enough for you?

How did the other men you've been with rate you?

One to ten, ato 2?

Look, if you weren't so busy being a sneaky seducer of conked out women,

you might have noticed that there have never been any other men.

Gee, I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

How do you think I feel?

You wait 20 years for it to happen and then when it happens you don't even know what happened!

Nothing happened.

- Where's my clothes? - You're wearing them.

I told you nothing happened.

You came out of the dumbwaiter and passed out on my floor.

So I let you share my bed for a night, no harm done.

You mean...

You slept next to me in the same bed all night and it didn't bother you?

Yes, it did.

You kept taking the covers.

So now you're offended because I didn't take advantage of you.

Offended, why should I be offended?

Look, it's not your fault.

I've read about a lot of cases like yours in Hemingway, I'm very sympathetic!

Well, now that I have your sympathy,

you think you could forgive me long enough to have breakfast with me?

I don't have any money with me.

That's all right, I'll pay.

Look, I can't let a man buy me breakfast under false pretenses.

- I lied to you. - You did?

Yeah, about when I said that I was still a virgin.

I haven't been that way since I was 15.

- Love? - Rape.

In a subway station, a gang of dope addicts.

Look, I have nothing against dope addicts,

I mean, I figure it's a disease like diabetes or hemorrhoids.

But I always thought that drug addiction diminished sexual appetite.

Not true, there must have been dozens of them.

I stopped counting after 20.

Okay, so I wasn't raped, you can't have everything!

Natalie, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin.

There's nothing wrong with being a kangaroo either but would you like to be one?

Yeah, but you make your virginity sound like rejection and it's not rejection!

It's selectivity, you're waiting to give yourself to the right man.

That's true.

I'm saving myself for Mr. right, so don't get any ideas!

Do you have any ideas maybe?

Just breakfast, peace, friendship.

What about you, Natalie Miller, what have you come to the village to prove?

I guess I came here to prove that there really is a Natalie Miller.

- I hope you make it. - What makes you think I haven't?

You're still here.

Okay.

So are you proving what you came to prove?

You mean that I'm a painter and not an architect?

No.

Funny, you wait nine years to take a three month leave of absence

because you tell yourself what you really wanna do is paint.

Then you let two months slip by...

Realizing that you've accomplished nothing.

Just finger exercises.

That you're not even trying.

It sounds to me like you didn't come here to prove you could paint,

but you came here to prove you couldn't.

You know, you may be right.

The moment you said it I knew it was true.

I didn't come here to prove that I could paint, but that I couldn't.

So I can go back to Connecticut and my job, thinking I had tried and failed.

I wasted those two months.

You still have a month left. Get back in there and paint.

Thanks for breakfast.

- David? - Yeah.

- I inspired you, didn't 1? - That's an understatement.

Inspired, I inspired him!

- Hello! - Hi.

- It'll give you a lot of energy, it's for two. - Great.

Ah, you said you don't like to eat alone so I thought I'd...

- Oh, Anne, this is Natalie. - Hi.

Look, I'll come back later, I didn't know you had company.

Now, Natalie, you're behaving foolishly.

How do you expect me to behave?

I mean, every time I come to your apartment you have a naked woman.

You said I inspired you and then I come down here and you're back to your old habits of naked women.

You must have some kind of fetish.

Natalie, I'm an artist, I'm not making love to them.

Then what do you need them here for?

To look at, how else can I paint them?

You've seen enough of them, use your memory.

Ah, maybe it's your hang-up, nudes.

David, why can't you paint something normal, huh?

Like a chair or a garbage can?

I mean it, David, forget women.

Paint naked still life.

- Now there is no reason to resent her. - Why should I resent her?

I think she's very lucky to be able to sit there like that and make $15 dollars an hour.

- Yeah, you think you'd like to try it? - No.

I didn't think so.

Look, why are you so angry?

I'm angry because you do resent her and there's no reason for it!

Maybe I'm just envious, did you ever think of that?

Yeah, well I'm envious too of Michelangelo, and Van gogh, and rubens.

But I don't resent them.

David, what are we arguing about?

I didn't go down there to argue.

Then why did you come down?

Because I thought we were friends.

And I thought that you were downstairs painting a masterpiece

so you wouldn't have to feel envious of Van gogh and rubens and whoever.

And I also thought you might be a little hungry, so I made you dinner.

Masterpieces don't come that easy.

Natalie, my rent is due the end of the month, I'll be leaving then.

Do you still wanna be friends?

Did you work all day since you left me?

Yeah, for what it's worth.

Show me?

Yeah.

I'll tell her to put her clothes on and leave.

- Interesting. - Just interesting?

What kind of rating you want, one to ten, a to z?

Look, all I can say is it was worth making dinner for, even if you did let it get cold.

Yeah.

Look, I gotta go to work so I guess you'll have to finish dinner alone anyway.

Listen, if you decide you ever wanna finish that Halloween thing you started with my face,

just say so.

No charge between friends.

Hey!

Are you free tomorrow night?

I've never been freer.

Good, then you'll let me take you to dinner and we'll come back here and work.

You got a deal.

I'll pick you up at your apartment at six.

You mean you're gonna call for me?

Of course, why?

Oh, nothing.

Okay, tomorrow at six.

I knew tomorrow would be a beautiful day.

I even felt like I should finally go and visit my parents.

What do you mean, Natalie, you can't wait till your father comes home from the store?

He'll be so disappointed, we haven't seen you in all this time.

Oh, I'm sorry, mama, but I can't.

Because I have a date and I have to be back in the city before 6:00.

A date! So tell me who's the boy, what does he do?

He's not a boy, mama.

He's a man and he's a painter.

A painter, that's a very good trade.

Say, listen, does he need some business?

Mrs. lipski downstairs, she wants her apartment painted!

Mama, he's not that kind of a painter, he's an artist painter.

An artist painter? You mean with the beards?

He doesn't have a beard, mama, and you don't have to worry about it, it's nothing serious.

He's just a friend I met, he lives in the apartment downstairs from me.

You mean in the same house, right underneath you?

Ma, you make it sound like we're living together.

There's a whole floor between us.

What's a floor to an artist with a beard?

Look, I'm not worried about it, mama, and I wish you wouldn't be.

I'm on my own now and I can take care of myself.

I'll get some more fruit.

Oh, there's no bananas, I know you like bananas.

Mama, don't worry about it, I don't want any bananas.

Look, I have to go, I left my Honda parked in the loading zone.

Honda, what's a Honda?

It's a motorcycle, I got it for transportation.

A motorcycle, like with leather jackets?

Mama, what are you crying about?

Natalie, I don't know what's happening to you.

A Honda!

Artists with beards!

And those clothes!

What'll it be next?

I don't know, ma.

But at least I don't sit at home every night anymore worrying about what's gonna be next.

I'm out in the world now, mama, and I like it.

I'm sorry, Natalie.

So maybe I'm old fashioned for getting upset.

But your father, he tells me how 15-, 16-year-old girls

they come in with prescriptions for birth control pills.

Now that's his biggest seller.

He can't stock enough they sell so fast.

And some of the girls, they don't even wait to have it wrapped.

They just go out eating 'em out of the jar like they were jellybeans.

"So, that's how it is today," he says.

"What can you do?

You're only a parent, you're not a god, you can't live their lives for them."

- He's right. - Well, of course he's right!

But that still doesn't keep me from getting upset.

And now to see what's happening with you, well, this I just never expected!

And no matter how much you hear, you never expect to see it happen to your own children, I'm sorry!

Ma.

Ma, you don't see what's happening with me.

You see a Honda with a leather jacket

and you see an artist with a beard and that's what you're judging.

And if you're old fashioned then that's why,

not because you don't understand, because you don't even try!

Do you wanna know why I haven't come home to dinner on Friday nights?

That's why!

Because I don't think you're inviting me!

I think you're inviting the Natalie

that you'd like to see sitting across the table from you eating chicken

and saying the things that you and papa would like to hear her say.

Mama, I don't wanna be that Natalie anymore!

All my life here I tried to be like all the other girls

in the neighborhood were supposed to be.

Even when I knew they weren't doing the right thing

I did what I thought was the right thing if I was one of them!

Well, what's wrong with doing the right thing?

You know, we're not alone in this world.

Yes we are, mama.

I was, I still am!

The only difference is that now I'm free to make my own decisions.

It has to be what I feel is the right thing or the wrong thing for me.

For me, Natalie!

I can't let you decide for me anymore, mama, because you can't be happy for me.

And I don't wanna be miserable for you.

So that's why I don't come home to chicken dinners on Friday nights.

Would you ever come?

When I can come as myself and not be ashamed of it.

When I can do that I'll even bring my own chicken.

Tell papa I'm sorry I couldn't wait.

Natalie?

Betty Simon is getting married in three weeks.

Her mother asked me if you'd be able to come to the wedding.

Tell her I don't think so, ma.

You sure you feel like posing tonight?

Why not?

You feel like working, don't you?

Oh, yeah, yeah it's just that I thought I could wait for another time if you didn't feel up to it.

I feel up to it.

It's just what I feel up to.

- What's bothering you? - Nothing.

Okay, friend, where do I pose?

Why don't you sit there?

Did someone die today?

Oh, come on now, friends aren't friends if they don't talk to each other.

Friends can be friends for a lot of reasons.

Like I had this friend for years, Betty Simon.

You know, the only reason we were friends was because

I made her realize how lucky she was to be pretty.

She made me realize I better take what I could get.

Well, I think I could see her reason if that's what it was.

I'm not sure I see yours.

Maybe I thought that...

If you hang around with attractive people long enough...

Maybe someday you can attract some of the things that are coming to her.

What happened to Betty?

Nothing.

I heard today she's getting married to this guy, Stanley.

They've been going together since they were in junior high school.

Stanley always like to play around

but I guess Betty said it's time to get married so they're getting married.

Is that why you're so upset because you found out Betty's getting married?

No, what do I care what Betty Simon does?

Listen, I wish her all the happiness in the world, I really do.

Natalie.

Are you afraid of women because they're beautiful?

Don't you know that there are things about you that are just as beautiful?

And that some day some man's gonna come along and prove that to you.

David, why don't you just shut up, huh?

Why don't you just stop with the words and shut up and paint?

Look, you wanna give charity, send a check to the salvation army.

What are you trying to prove?

Not a damn thing.

Is the experiment over?

Natalie, look, I know you like to collect rocks but isn't this carrying a hobby too far?

David, it is a very special rock.

You know how some people say, "this is our song"?

- Well, this is our rock! - Yeah, well, it may be our rock,

but if you don't get a cab quick it's gonna be my rupture.

Oh, I'm sorry, if it's that heavy put it down!

Please, David, put it down, we don't wanna injure anything important.

Nothing's more important than love. A cab, find a cab.

I went to Betty's wedding 'cause I was so happy that I really didn't care

that she was getting married.

I mean, I finally wanted to wish her all the happiness in the world.

Now that I knew there was such a thing as happiness

and that it all didn't belong to girls like Betty Simon.

All I could see was Stanley's back as he went down the aisle.

And I thought they must have beaten him over the head to get him up there

because he was walking all slouched over.

But then I saw the groom wasn't Stanley at all.

It was some boy I never saw before who looked like he was wearing bad contact lenses.

I mean, it just came as such a shock to see him there instead of Stanley.

I kept watching Betty as she walked down the aisle

and even in that half veil you could see she was just as pretty as ever,

even though she'd put on some weight since I'd seen her.

And have declared the same by giving and receiving a ring...

I was sure that when she finally turned around so I could see her face she'd probably smile,

look across the aisle to find me, click her heels and say, "see, Natalie, there's nothin' to it."

I now pronounce you man and wife.

- Hello, Stanley. - She did it, huh?

She married that creep?

The kid's mine, you know, I'm gonna tell everyone the kid's mine.

It would have been all right if she had done what I said.

I mean, I found a regular doctor who would have done it.

Everything would have been like before but she had to go and do it, the bitch!

She had to go and marry that creep!

She doesn't love him, nothing.

She's gonna be miserable.

The bitch, I hope she's miserable for the rest of her life.

I didn't even bother taking the dumbwaiter because sometimes, when you love someone,

the most important thing in the world is just to run home and say...

David, oh, David, I love you!"

Oh, Natalie, don't.

- No, don't! - Oh!

David won't be needing any models today, sorry.

She isn't a model.

Natalie, this is Diane, my wife.

Well, I'll wait in the car and you call me when she's gone.

Wife, your wife.

- Natalie. - Your wife.

Your wife.

- Your wife! - Natalie, I meant to...

I meant to tell you, believe me!

Your wife.

Natalie, listen, please listen. There's something you must...

Your wife.

Please sit down.

- Natalie. - Your wife.

Natalie, let me go down and talk to Diane for a few minutes.

And then I'll come back and explain it to you.

All right?

You're alive.

Only because the tide was out.

Natalie, I wanna talk to you, please come out.

I'm taking a shower, don't you have any decency?

Natalie, we must talk, I have to explain!

What's to explain, you're married.

I know what that means, I looked it up in a dictionary.

But did you look up "love" in the dictionary?

The kind of love I feel for you?

Natalie, please come out.

- Just go away, David, will you please go away? - Not until you listen!

Okay I'm listening.

Diane and I were married in college,

we have two children, Mark, 11 and Steven, he's... well, he's 9 now.

I started working for Diane's father right after Steven was born.

It was gonna be temporary, a chance to pay the bills and put aside enough

so in a year or two we could go to Paris and I could concentrate on painting.

Well, we never got to Paris, I never left the firm.

When you have a wife and two children, especially a wife with Diane's background,

well, security can sometimes be an incurable disease.

Yes, I could go back to her.

Back to painting on Sunday, back to being a good father and a good husband and watching...

Watching whatever it is inside of me that wants to be more...

Slowly die until I'm nothing but a social security number that never had to collect benefits.

Yes, I love her!

But I also love you.

Loving Diane has made me hate David Harris.

Because loving Diane has kept me from finding out who I could have been.

Just like you're trying to find out who Natalie Miller is.

Natalie, David Harris needs you.

Did you hear what I said?

Say it again.

David Harris needs you!

Sounds like a recruiting poster.

Natalie, if you say yes

I'll go back to Connecticut for a week and make arrangements

so I can settle everything and come back here to you.

David, are you sure?

I mean, you won't wake up tomorrow morning and plead insanity?

Natalie, come on.

Dear David, I spend all day writing love letters to you in my mind.

Then when I sit down in front of the paper the only thing I can remember is, "I love you."

But then that's a lot, isn't it?

When you come back they'll all be waiting for you to read.

Dear David, another day that seems to never end.

I came down the dumbwaiter to spend the night in your bed

after I couldn't sleep in my own thinking about you.

Dear David, I subleased my apartment and we have just become co-inhabitants, as the saying goes.

[ Just this minute decided that the word "co-inhabited" is a very sexy word.

I guess I never thought of it before because I never co-inhabited with anyone before.

I guess after we're married I'll think that "marriage" is a sexy word too.

In fact, I know it is when I think of it with you.

Dear David, I found a picture of you and your boys

and every time I looked at it I began to feel more crummy,

as though what I was doing to Diane was wrong.

I felt like I was telling that boy with the thick glasses at the dance to get lost again.

I felt like I was knocking out Kenny schroder's teeth again.

Isn't it funny that I, Natalie Miller,

should feel sorry for a beautiful woman?

Dear David, I love you.

And I guess I always will love you because you were the one who taught me I could be loved.

I intended to be here, I really did.

I thought about it all night, how much I wanted you.

But I didn't know why it bothered me about anything else.

I thought what a jerk I was to be thinking about anything else.

Because what else was there?

I mean, what else was there in the future if there wasn't you?

But the funny thing was that because there was you, I wasn't afraid of that.

I mean, even when I thought of Betty and how miserable she was gonna be,

and Shirley, what she said about holding on when you find it,

no matter what, because that was the only way to be happy.

It didn't make any difference!

Because that was Betty's miserable and that was Shirley's happy.

I only know I have to say goodbye.

And if I'm miserable today, tomorrow maybe I'll be happy.

And maybe I won't but if I'm miserable it'll be my miserable.

And if I'm happy it'll be my happy and I can't do it any other way.

Because this is me.

Me, Natalie.

And I really never knew it before!