All language subtitles for Little House on the Prairie s07e13 Come, Let Us Reason Together.eng

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ESTIMATES FOR
THE NEW DRAPES.

COOKWARE
CATALOGUE.

LETTER
FROM YOUR PAPA.

VERY THOROUGH.
MM-HMM.

DID PAPA HAVE ANYTHING
INTERESTING TO SAY?

OH, REALLY,
PERCIVAL!

I DON'T OPEN
OTHER PEOPLE'S MAIL!

MORNING, MOTHER.

GOOD MORNING, DARLING.
HOW ARE WE FEELING THIS MORNING?

FAT AND CLUMSY.
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

HERE YOU ARE, MR. REILLY.

AH. SMELLS GREAT,
NELLIE.

YOUR COOKING
SURE IS BETTER

SINCE YOU
GOT PREGNANT.

WELL, BEFORE,
I WAS PROBABLY STANDING TOO CLOSE TO THE STOVE.

Percival: NELLIE,
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

IT'S ONLY $5.00.
I'LL PAY IT BACK.

THEY'RE REALLY
GONNA DO IT!

WHAT? WHAT?

LEAVE NEW YORK CITY.
WHO?

MY PARENTS!

THEY ALWAYS SAID
I WAS CRAZY TO LEAVE THE COMFORTS OF THE CITY

TO COME LIVE
AMONG THE SAVAGES.

SAVAGES?!

FIGURE OF SPEECH, MRS. O.

WHAT IS IT THEY SAY?
"A LITTLE CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM."

THEY'RE COMING
TO SEE THE BABY.

COHEN.

HEH HEH. COHEN.

YOU KNEW PERCIVAL
HAD CHANGED HIS NAME.

YES, YES.
IT WAS THE BEST KEPT SECRET IN TOWN.

NOW WHAT DO I DO?

NOTHING.
JUST BE NICE.

THEY'RE PEOPLE
LIKE YOU AND ME.

[GASPS] WE'VE NEVER
SEEN A PICTURE OF THEM.

I WONDER IF THEY--
I WONDER IF THEY LOOK DIFFERENT.

THAN WHAT?
A POMEGRANATE?

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WHAT IF THEY HAVE
THOSE BIG, HOOKED NOSES

AND THOSE
LITTLE BEADY EYES?

HARRIET,
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

EVEN CHINA HAS
JEWISH PEOPLE,

BUT I BET
YOU COULDN'T PICK 'EM OUT.

JUST RELAX.

NELS, I DON'T NEED
A GEOGRAPHY LESSON.

HARRIET, ALL YOU HAVE
TO DO IS REMEMBER

THAT THEY ARE
PERCIVAL'S PARENTS,

OUR DAUGHTER'S
IN-LAWS.

JUST
BEHAVE YOURSELF!

COHEN.

COHEN.

YOU'VE BEEN
PRETTY QUIET ALL DAY,

SO I GUESS
YOU'RE PRETTY MAD.

WELL, I JUST WANNA
SAY I'M SORRY.

I SHOULD HAVE
TOLD EVERYBODY MY REAL NAME

RIGHT FROM THE START,
BUT WELL, IT JUST NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.

PERCIVAL.

SO I DON'T BLAME YOU
FOR BEING ANGRY, AND IF YOU WANNA GET MAD--

WOULD YOU HUSH?

I MARRIED YOU,
NOT YOUR NAME.

I'M JUST
A LITTLE NERVOUS IS ALL.

WHAT IF THEY
DON'T LIKE ME?

DUMBEST THING
I EVER HEARD.

WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?

ANYWAY, THEY DON'T
HAVE ANY CHOICE.

JEWISH LAW SAYS THAT
THE IN-LAWS BECOME PART OF THE FAMILY,

SO YOU'RE
THEIR DAUGHTER.

I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.

I ALWAYS AM.
HA HA!

I FEEL BETTER NOW.
GOOD.

I THINK I'LL GET
A PICKLE AND ICE CREAM.

OH, NO, YOU WON'T.

BUT--
NO.

I DO FEEL BETTER NOW.

I FEEL SILLY
WEARING MY SUNDAY DRESS TO DO DISHES,

BUT I WANNA
LOOK MY BEST.

THEY'LL BE TOO BUSY
HUGGING YOU TO NOTICE.

FROM 3 FEET AWAY?

HA HA!

I FEEL LIKE
AN OVERSIZED PEAR IN FANCY WRAPPING.

OH, YOU'RE GETTING
SOAPSUDS ALL OVER IT.

COME ON. GO SIT DOWN.

HERE.

THANK YOU.

THEY WON'T LIKE ME.

NOBODY DOES.

YOU NEVER HAVE.

THAT ISN'T TRUE.

YOU HAD A FEW...

PROBLEMS
AS A CHILD,

BUT YOU'VE
OUTGROWN THEM.

REALLY?

REALLY.

READY, DEAR?

UH, MAYBE I COULD
JUST STAY IN HERE, MY LOVE?

AND NOT COME MEET
THE STAGE? WHY?

PERCIVAL,
MAYBE NELLIE SHOULD WAIT HERE.

SHE'S REALLY NOT
IN ANY CONDITION

TO STAND
OUT IN THE HEAT.

WELL, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT,
AREN'T YOU?

SHE'S JUST PREGNANT,
IN CASE YOU FORGOT.

ALL RIGHT.
YOU STAY HERE.

I LOVE YOU.

THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WHOA. SETTLE DOWN.

HEY, PAPA!

[INDISTINCT GREETINGS]

Mr. Cohen: NICE.
LIKE A GENTLEMAN.

MAMA.

[INDISTINCT
CONVERSATION]

Mrs. Cohen:
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

[KISSES]

PAPA, THIS IS
MRS. OLESON.

WELCOME TO--

MRS. OLESON,
SHALOM!

UHH!

[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]

WELCOME
TO WALNUT GROVE.

THANK YOU.

PAPA. PAPA.

THIS IS MR. OLESON.

THIS IS MY FATHER,
BENJAMIN COHEN,

AND MY MOTHER, EDNA.

SHALOM.

OHH! HEH HEH.
MR...

IT'S A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU.

WHERE IS THE LITTLE MAMA,
THE MOTHER OF MY GRANDSON?

SHE'S OVER
AT THE RESTAURANT.

IT'S RIGHT THIS WAY.
COME ON, MAMA.

Harriet: NELS.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE.
GET THE LUGGAGE.

HERE YOU GO, NELS.

THERE'S PLENTY MORE
IN THE BACK.

Harriet:
THERE WE GO.

I'LL GO FETCH HER.

YOU MUST BE--

YES, IT'S
PERCIVAL'S PARENTS.

THIS IS BEN,
AND THIS IS EDNA.

THIS IS
CAROLINE INGALLS.

BENJAMIN,
ACTUALLY.

SO NICE
TO MEET YOU, MRS. INGALLS.

OH, WE'VE HEARD
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU, ALL OF YOU.

Percival:
MAMA, PAPA.

THIS IS NELLIE.

THERE SHE IS!

DEAR NELLIE.

SHE'S A PRETTY
LITTLE THING.

SO, HOW IS HE?

WELL, I HOPE.

OH, I FEEL FINE,
THANK YOU.

YOU MUST BE TIRED.
LET ME SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOM.

RIGHT THIS WAY.

Percival: THEY'RE NOT
THE BIGGEST ROOMS IN THE WORLD,

BUT THEY'RE CLEAN.

HAVE A NICE REST

AND COME OVER
TO MY HOUSE FOR SUPPER.

HERE. LET ME HELP YOU
WITH THOSE.

IT WAS NICE
TO MEET YOU, MR. DALTON.

WELL, YOU OUGHT TO HAVE ENOUGH
HANGERS IN THE CLOSET.

ANY QUESTIONS?

NOPE.
EVERYTHING IS FINE.

SUCH A NICE ROOM,
BENJAMIN.

OUR CHILDREN
ARE GOOD TO US.

CAN I HELP YOU UNPACK?

NO, DEAR.
WE CAN MANAGE.

FIRST DUTY IS
TO TAKE CARE OF THAT BABY.

NOW, IF YOU HAVE
ANY PROBLEMS, JUST HOLLER.

A LITTLE NAP
AND WE'LL BE FINE.

AND WE'LL SEE YOU FOR SUPPER
ABOUT 6:00.

THANK YOU,
MR. OLSEN.

MR. COHEN.

ISAAC!

YOU STILL REMEMBER
YOUR NAME.

I'M GLAD.

WHAT WAS THAT?

SOME PEOPLE
CAN LIVE A LIE.

SADLY MY SON
IS ONE OF THEM.

BENJAMIN, WE TALKED
ALL ABOUT THIS.

THIS IS NOT NEWS.

HE CHOSE TO DENY
HIS HERITAGE.

I CANNOT!

NO ONE ASKED YOU TO!

OUR SON HAS DONE IT
FOR ME.

THAT WOMAN DOWNSTAIRS,
MRS. INGALLS.

SHE CALLED ME
MR. DALTON.

A NATURAL MISTAKE.

I AM NOT BEN DALTON!

I AM BENJAMIN COHEN!

[SIGHS]

WHAT YOU ARE IS INSIDE,
SILLY MAN.

AND WE ARE GUESTS HERE,
REMEMBER THAT.

HERE! HERE IS WHAT
HAS CHANGED HIM!

THIS WOULD NEVER
HAVE HAPPENED IN NEW YORK!

BENJAMIN, PLEASE,
DON'T FRIGHTEN ME.

REMEMBER YOUR
HEART ATTACK.

I'M SORRY, MY DEAR.

BUT YOU MUST SEE
HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME.

THINK OF YOUR GRANDSON,
HMM? HMM?

Harriet: WILLIE!
WE'RE ALL AT THE TABLE!

COME IN THE HOUSE!

CLOSE THE DOOR.

Benjamin: IF YOU
DON'T MIND, COULD WE LEAVE IT AJAR?

OH. WELL, WE CAN
OPEN A WINDOW

IF YOU'RE HOT.

WELL, IT'S A TRADITION,
MRS. OLESON,

IN CASE A HUNGRY STRANGER
SHOULD COME BY AND WISH TO JOIN US.

BUT WE DIDN'T
FIX ANY EXTRA.

[ALL LAUGH]

BEN, HEAVEN'S SAKES.
I FORGOT TO TAKE YOUR HAT.

IT'S BENJAMIN.
AND, NO, YOU DIDN'T.

NELS, SAY
THE BLESSING.

OH, PLEASE, ALLOW ME.

I DIDN'T KNOW
JEWS SAID GRACE.

WE ALL EAT.
WE SHOULD GIVE THANKS.

* BARUCH

* ATAH ADONAI

* ELO HEYNU
MELECH HA OLAM *

* BORAY
PREE HA GOSFEN *

BLESSED ART THOU,
O LORD, OUR GOD,

KING OF THE UNIVERSE,

WHO RIPENETH
THE FRUIT OF THE VINE.

WE GIVE THANKS
FOR THY LOVING KINDNESS DAY BY DAY

AND ASK THAT WE BE WORTHY
IN THE SIGHT OF GOD AND MAN.

AMEN.

AMEN.
AMEN.

Harriet: WILLIE!
WHERE'S YOUR MILK?

I WAS HOPING
YOU WOULDN'T NOTICE.

YOUR SON DRINKS MILK
WITH HIS SUPPER?

THE LAMB SEETHES
IN ITS OWN MILK?

Willie: HE'S RIGHT. CAN I
HAVE SOME OF THIS WINE?

IT'S ROAST BEEF,
MR. COHEN.

ONE DOES NOT MIX MEAT
AND MILK AT THE SAME TABLE.

AS LONG AS I AM
HIS MOTHER, ONE DOES.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS
OF RAISING CHILDREN, PAPA.

I HOPE YOU KNOW
WHICH IS WHICH.

Edna: PAPA.

Nels: BENJAMIN,
IF YOU PASS YOUR PLATE,

I'LL SERVE THE MEAT.

UH, NO MEAT, THANK YOU.

AND WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THE MEAT?

NOTHING, I'M SURE,
BUT JEWISH LAW

FORBIDS ME TO EAT
NONKOSHER MEAT. I'M SORRY.

Benjamin:
JUST VEGETABLES.

WHOA! WHOA.

SO, DO YOU
MISS NEW YORK,

OR DO YOU
LIKE IT HERE

WITH THESE PEOPLE?

THESE PEOPLE ARE AMERICANS,
PAPA, JUST LIKE YOU.

WHAT DID I SAY?

JUST A SIMPLE QUESTION.

I'M SORRY.

FREDA WAS
IN THE STORE THE OTHER WEEK.

YOU REMEMBER FREDA?

UH, LIVED ON HAUSER
ACROSS FROM THE SYNAGOGUE.

MRS. WEINBERG NOW.

AH, YOUR MOTHER
ALWAYS HOPED--

HOPED.

AH, NEVER MIND.

SHE WOULD
NOT HAVE WANTED

TO BE A DALTON
ANYWAY.

PAPA, I'VE EXPLAINED
ALL THAT BEFORE.

THERE ARE PEOPLE
WHO WOULDN'T HIRE ME KNOWING I WAS JEWISH.

NOW, I DON'T
MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM, BUT, WELL, I NEEDED THE JOB.

YOU HAD
TO LEAVE THE CITY

TO HIDE YOUR NAME.

COHEN IS
A GOOD NAME.

IN NEW YORK,

COHEN RUNS
HIS OWN BUSINESS.

BUT IT'S YOUR BUSINESS,
PAPA, NOT MINE.

SO WHAT DO YOU
HAVE NOW?

YOUR WIFE'S
BUSINESS.

I HOPE
YOU RAISE YOUR SON

BETTER THAN THAT.

OUR SON OR DAUGHTER WILL LOVE
AND RESPECT THEIR FATHER

THE SAME WAY I DO MINE.

AHEM.
I SHOULD HOPE SO.

WE BETTER
BE GETTING BACK.

[SIGHS] HERE.

OH, EDNA, I'M
SO GLAD THAT WE HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY

TO GET TO KNOW
ONE ANOTHER.

OH. IS CHOCOLATE
CAKE ALLOWED,

OR IS IT A SIN?

FOR THE WAISTLINE, YES,

BUT THE LORD DOESN'T
OBJECT TO A SWEET TOOTH.

OH. GOOD.
I HAVE ONE, TOO.

I THINK YOU'LL FIND
WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON,

INCLUDING
A GRANDCHILD.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME.

I HAVE SOMETHING
I WANT TO SHOW YOU.

I HAD THIS MADE WHEN--
WHEN NELLIE WAS BORN,

AND I'VE BEEN SAVING IT
ALL THESE YEARS

FOR WHEN
SHE HAS HER FIRST BABY.

YOU SHOULD
HAVE SEEN HER...

WITH HER PRETTY
BLONDE HAIR AND HER GREAT BIG BLUE EYES,

ITTY-BITTY NOSE.

THE REVEREND SAID,

"I'LL NEVER FORGET
NELLIE OLESON'S CHRISTENING."

AT LEAST, I THINK
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

SHE WAS SCREAMING
LIKE A BANSHEE.

EDNA, WHAT'S--
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I-I-I-I'M FINE. I...

[GASPING]

I JUST--
I JUST NEVER REALIZED--

BENJAMIN.

WHAT? OH,
BENJAMIN DOESN'T LIKE CHRISTENING DRESSES?

NOT THE DRESS.

THE CHRISTENING.

IT'S NOT, UH, JEWISH.

NEITHER IS MY DAUGHTER.

BUT--BUT THE BABY
IS PERCIVAL'S, TOO,

AND IT'S BENJAMIN COHEN'S
GRANDCHILD.

OH, I-I'M SORRY.

I--I THOUGHT
IT WAS UNDERSTOOD.

Nellie: MOTHER!

E-EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.

YES, NELLIE.
JUST A MINUTE!

[WHISPERING]
Get back over here.

I wanna talk to you.
Come here.

MRS. COHEN TELLS ME
THAT YOUR BABY IS GOING TO BE JEWISH.

NOW, WHY IS IT
THAT I'M THE LAST ONE TO KNOW THESE THINGS?

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

YOU MEAN, PERCIVAL HASN'T
SAID ANYTHING TO YOU?

NO.
OH--

GOOD MORNING,
MRS. COHEN--

MRS. DAVIS.

[WHISPERING]
Those people came out here from New York

for one reason
and one reason only--

to get their hands
on my grandchild.

You know how they are,
sneaky.

MOTHER, YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT MY HUSBAND.

AH. AND YOU WILL
HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME.

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE
A RABBI ON YOUR HANDS, HMM?

WHAT'S SO BAD
ABOUT THAT?

NELLIE!

ALL RIGHT,
MOTHER.

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TALK TO PERCIVAL.

THANK YOU, DARLING.
THAT'S A GOOD GIRL.

CAN I GO SAY HELLO
TO EDNA NOW?

YES. YES, YES, YES.
RUN ALONG.

YOU'RE UP
TO SOMETHING, HARRIET.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

GIRL TALK.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
HOW TO RAISE BABIES.

IF YOU WILL LET GO OF ME NOW,
PLEASE. I HAVE COMPANY.

PERCIVAL.
HMM?

WHAT RELIGION
WILL OUR BABY BE?

YOU'VE BEEN TALKING
TO MY FATHER.

THEN YOU ALREADY KNEW.

MORE LIKE EXPECTED.

I JUST THOUGHT
HE'D CORNER ME FIRST.

ACTUALLY,
IT WAS MY MOTHER.

WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL ME

HE'D WANT THE BABY
TO BE JEWISH?

I JUST THOUGHT
I COULD AVOID TROUBLE.

WELL, WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?

EVERYTHING TO PAPA.
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO HIM

TO CONTINUE
THE JEWISH TRADITION,

PRESERVE THE HERITAGE.

IS THAT WHY
HE'S HERE,

TO MAKE SURE?

PARTLY.

MY MOTHER'S USED
TO GETTING HER OWN WAY.

THERE'S GONNA BE TROUBLE.

BENJAMIN...

IF I TELL YOU
SOMETHING,

YOU PROMISE ME
YOU WON'T GET UPSET.

IT'S THE SABBATH, MY DEAR,
A DAY OF CELEBRATION.

WHEN THIS BABY IS BORN,

WE WON'T BE
THE ONLY GRANDPARENTS.

MRS. OLESON SHOWED ME
A DRESS TODAY FOR THE BABY.

MY GRANDSON WILL NOT
WEAR GIRL'S CLOTHES.

A CHRISTENING DRESS.

JEWISH CHILDREN
ARE NOT CHRISTENED.

I KNOW THAT,
BENJAMIN,

BUT YOU FORGET,
NELLIE IS A GENTILE.

THAT'S NOT MY FAULT.

YOU'RE NOT LISTENING,
MY DEAR!

THESE PEOPLE
ARE CHRISTIANS,

AND THEY
ALWAYS WILL BE.

NOT ANYMORE.

THEY HAVE
ACCEPTED MY SON.

BENJAMIN, PLEASE.

HE CAN CHANGE HIS NAME,

PRETEND
TO BE ONE OF THEM,

BUT PERCIVAL--
ISAAC--IS A JEW,

AND SO IS HIS SON!

SHA! SVETZA HAVIK!

[MUTTERS]

[SPEAKING HEBREW]

NOW, YOU PROMISED ME THAT
YOU WOULDN'T GET UPSET!

I AM NOT UPSET!

SHH!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

SHUSH. YOU GO. SHH!

READY FOR SUPPER?

IN A MINUTE.

FIRST I WOULD LIKE
TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU.

WE'LL BE
IN THE KITCHEN.

NOW DON'T BE LONG.

I WON'T BE.

ISAAC...

OUR FAITH
IS BASED

ON MARRIAGE
AND THE FAMILY.

I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE GETTING AT, PAPA.

OUT HERE,
MANY OF OUR BOYS

ARE TAKING
GENTILE WIVES, NOT JUST YOU.

WHAT CHOICE
DO WE HAVE?

JEWISH WOMEN
CAN'T TRAVEL ALONE.

THEY STAY IN THE CITY.

BUT THESE ARE
NOT PROPER JEWISH HOUSEHOLDS.

NELLIE AND I ARE
VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

YOUR CHILDREN
MUST NOT BE CONFUSED.

OUR CHILD
WILL KNOW WHO HE IS WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR MEDDLING.

TURN YOUR BACK
ON YOUR NAME

AND THE FAMILY
BUSINESS IF IT PLEASES YOU,

BUT THIS IS
YOUR FATHER TALKING.

SHOW SOME RESPECT!

I'M SORRY.

UNDERSTAND, MY SON,

WE JEWS MUST SURVIVE.

SINCE THE BEGINNING
OF TIME,

OTHER MEN HAVE TRIED
TO DESTROY US.

PAPA, PEOPLE
ARE EDUCATED NOW.

THAT KIND OF CRAZINESS
WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

IT'S ALMOST
THE 20th CENTURY.

YOU ARE SO SURE?

I'M SURE.

WE'LL TALK LATER.

YOUR WIFE
HAS SUPPER WAITING.

I DON'T LIKE
JEWISH FOOD!

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING
TO GET TONIGHT.

[GASPS]
WHAT'S THAT?

THAT IS A MEZUZA.
BENJAMIN PUT IT THERE.

A... [SPUTTERS]

CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL,
I DON'T WANT THAT THING

HANGING ON MY DAUGHTER'S
FRONT DOOR.

HARRIET, HE IS OUR GUEST.

OH, I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU SAY.

I'M SICK AND TIRED
OF HIM TRYING

TO SHOVE
HIS RELIGION DOWN MY THROAT.

I'D LIKE TO DO
THE SAME THING

WITH HIS--HIS
ME-MEDUZAH THERE.

COME ALONG.
COME ALONG.

[BELL RINGS]

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE,
WHAT IS THAT?

BENJAMIN!
GOOD EVENING, PERCIVAL.

GOOD EVENING.

SHABBAT SHALOM.
SHALOM.

HEY, EVERYBODY,
COME AND SIT DOWN.

I HOPE
EVERYBODY'S HUNGRY.

MADE A SPECIAL DISH
FOR YOU.

NELLIE,
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

SMELLS VERY GOOD,
DARLING.

NOT PORK CHOPS,
I HOPE.

NO, PAPA.
BAKED HAM.

[LAUGHS]

HARRIET...
YES?

WE ARE HONORED

TO WELCOME YOU
TO OUR SABBATH MEAL.

THANK YOU, BEN...JAMIN.

UH, SHALL WE BEGIN?

[DOOR SLAMS]

AH! WHERE'S WILLIE?

SORRY.

WHAT ARE
THE CANDLES FOR?

OH, YOU'LL HAVE TO PARDON
MY SON'S MANNERS.

THIS IS ALL NEW TO HIM
AND TO US.

NO DOUBT
YOU WILL SHARE MANY SABBATH MEALS

WITH OUR CHILDREN
IN THE FUTURE.

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
EVERY SUNDAY.

NOT IN
THIS HOUSEHOLD.

Harriet: HUH?

IT WOULD CONFUSE
MY GRANDSON.

HEH HEH HEH.
I DON'T SEE WHY.

HE'LL HAVE SUNDAY DINNER
AFTER CHURCH.

AHEM. I'M READY TO LIGHT
THE CANDLES, PAPA.

I'LL PUT IT
TO YOU PLAINLY

SO YOU
WILL UNDERSTAND.

THIS BABY
WILL BE JEWISH.

UH-UH.
HALF-JEWISH.

THERE IS
NO SUCH THING AS HALF A JEW.

AHA!

THEN HE WILL BE
A WHOLE CHRISTIAN!

HA MA TOM TA METZ!

WELL, I DON'T
UNDERSTAND GIBBERISH.

PAPA!

[SPEAKING HEBREW]

[NELLIE WAILING]

Percival: SEE?! SEE WHAT
YOU'VE DONE, PAPA!

Benjamin:
THIS IS MY FAULT?

I ASK YOU ONE THING,
ISAAC.

WHO WILL RECITE
THE KADDISH AT YOUR GRAVE

IF YOUR SON IS NOT
EDUCATED IN THE TORAH?

HIS NAME IS PERCIVAL.

A NAME WILL NOT CHANGE
WHAT HE IS!

BENJAMIN, THE FOOD
IS GETTING COLD!

YES, PAPA,
COULD WE EAT?

NO!

THE SABBATH
IS A CELEBRATION!

A JEW DOES NOT
EAT AT A TABLE

FILLED WITH ANGER!

[WAILING]

HOW WOULD
YOU LIKE...

[DOOR SLAMS]

AHH! THE NERVE OF THAT MAN!
THE ABSOLUTE NERVE.

THEY'RE LIKE THAT,
YOU KNOW, NERVY.

HARRIET, IT'S LATE.
I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.

POOR NELLIE,
SLAVING ALL DAY LONG

OVER A HOT STOVE JUST
TO MAKE A BEAUTIFUL SUPPER,

AND WHAT DOES HE DO?
HE RUINS IT. HE JUST RUINS--

HARRIET,
IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT.

I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EARS
WHEN HE SAID THE BABY WOULD BE JEWISH.

"LET ME PUT IT TO YOU
PLAINLY, MRS. OLESON, SO YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.

THE BABY
WILL BE JEWISH."

WHY DO WE HAVE TO
TALK ABOUT THIS?

I MEAN, THE MAN IS--

THE MAN IS INSANE,
THAT'S WHAT HE IS.

HE'S ABSOLUTELY INSANE!

CAN YOU IMAGINE MY DAUGHTER
GIVING BIRTH TO A JEW?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT
THAT CHILD WOULD BE LIKE?

NERVY AND GREEDY AND PUSHY
AND ALWAYS AFTER FOOD

AND CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP!

HARRIET, YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE JUST OPENED MY EYES.

OH! WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME

YOU STARTED
LISTENING TO ME.

OH, YES, YES, I AM.

IF WHAT YOU SAY
ABOUT THE WAY THEY ACT IS TRUE,

THEN YOU
MUST BE JEWISH.

I'M GONNA SLEEP
IN THE GUEST ROOM. GOOD NIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT!

TAKE THE JEW'S SIDE!

HOW ABOUT A SANDWICH?

YOU MUST BE HUNGRY.

WHERE CAN YOU GET
A CORNED BEEF ON RYE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?

MY SON MUST BE CRAZY
TO LIVE HERE.

IT'S A NICE PLACE.

IT'S A BAD INFLUENCE.

LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO HIM.

HE'S A GOOD BOY,
BENJAMIN.

HEH. SOME GOOD BOY.

WE SHOULD PACK UP
AND GO BACK.

THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD DO.

WHAT'S TO STAY HERE FOR?

TO SEE THE END
OF THE FAMILY'S RELIGIOUS BELIEFS?

TO SEE THE NAME OF COHEN
DISAPPEAR FOREVER FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH?

WHAT'S TO STAY HERE FOR?

TO SEE THE BABY.

COME TO SLEEP.
YOU NEED YOUR REST.

IT'S TOO QUIET HERE!

I CLOSE MY EYES,
AND WHAT DO I HEAR?

TREES! NOTHING BUT TREES!

OH, PERCIVAL.

GOOD MORNING, MAMA.

HELLO, DEAR.
CAN YOU SPARE A MINUTE TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER?

THAT'S
A SILLY QUESTION.

COME ON.
LET'S SIT DOWN.

OK. NOW,
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

YOUR FATHER
IS REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

WE ALL ARE.
SO WHY DOESN'T HE TELL ME HIMSELF?

HE'S A PROUD MAN.
THERE'S A LOT HE CAN'T SAY.

OH? HE DIDN'T HAVE
ANY PROBLEM LAST NIGHT.

PERCIVAL, HIS HEALTH
IS NOT GOOD.

PAPA?

WELL, HE LOOKS ALL RIGHT.
HE'S LOST A LITTLE WEIGHT.

15 POUNDS
IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER HIS HEART ATTACK.

PAPA?

SHH! EHH!

IF HE
SHOULD HEAR ME,

OOH-WEE, I'D BE
IN SUCH TROUBLE!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

YEAH, NOW, REMEMBER,
NOT A WORD.

I ONLY TELL
YOU BECAUSE-- THIS EXCITEMENT,

THE DOCTOR
WOULDN'T LIKE IT.

WHAT CAN I DO, MAMA?

YOU KNOW, HE DOESN'T
LISTEN TO ME.

THAT'S YOUR PAPA.

I WANTED YOU SHOULD
KNOW, JUST IN CASE.

AH, MAMA.

I HAVE TO GO
HELP CAROLINE WITH BREAKFAST.

SAY NOTHING.

HE'S A PROUD MAN.

THAT'S ONE FEISTY KID
YOU GOT IN THERE.

KEEP YOU AWAKE
NIGHTS?

SOMETIMES.

GUESS HE TAKES AFTER
HIS GRANDPARENTS,

FROM BOTH SIDES.

SO HOW DO YOU FEEL,
APART FROM THE BRUISES?

FINE, BUT I'LL BE GLAD
TO SEE HIM BORN...

I THINK.

YOU'RE NOT SURE?

THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF ARGUING
GOING ON ABOUT HIS RELIGION,

BUT AT LEAST UNTIL HE ARRIVES,
WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE ANY DECISION.

THAT BABY'S
ONLY GONNA CARE

ABOUT EATING
AND SLEEPING.

SO SHOULD YOU.

THAT WON'T BE EASY.

THEY'RE HOVERING
LIKE VULTURES.

IGNORE THEM.

YOU WANT A HEALTHY
BABY, DON'T YOU?

HE IS, ISN'T HE?

YOU BET HE IS.
OR SHE IS.

TRUST YOUR DOCTOR.

PAPA,
DON'T DO THAT!

DON'T DISTURB
YOURSELF.

HERE, GIVE ME THAT.

SUCH A WORRIER.

I WASN'T LEAVING.

LET ME DO IT.

I'M NOT SO OLD.

TIME WAS I COULD LIFT
ALL THOSE SUITCASES AT ONCE.

THAT WAS
A LITTLE WHILE AGO, PAPA.

I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING.

WHAT I LOST IN STRENGTH,

I MAKE UP IN LOUDNESS,
AM I RIGHT?

WELL, YOU COULDN'T EXACTLY
ENTER A ROOM UNNOTICED, NO.

NELLIE'S JUST
NOT USED TO THAT.

WITH HER MOTHER?

PAPA, DO YOU
REMEMBER HOW YOU FELT

WHEN MAMA
WAS CARRYING ME?

HOW ELSE?

MY FACE ACHED
WITH SMILING ALL THE TIME.

EDNA'S, TOO.

NELLIE CRIES A LOT.

HER CONDITION
IS DELICATE.

YOU TREAT HER RIGHT,
SON.

BECAUSE OF THIS BABY,
HER PARENTS AND MY PARENTS ARE FIGHTING.

HOW CAN SHE BE HAPPY?

NOW, I KNOW
MRS. OLESON CAN BE--

WELL, SHE CAN BE
DIFFICULT.

BUT FOR
NELLIE'S SAKE,

COULDN'T YOU
TRY TO GET ALONG?

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE ASKING.

PLEASE, PAPA?

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT!

FOR YOUR WIFE,
I'LL BE NICE.

THANK YOU, PAPA.

[CHEERFUL]
GOOD MORNING, HARRIET!

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS.

YOU GO
YOUR WHOLE LIFE

WITHOUT MEETING ONE,
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,

ONE SHOWS UP RIGHT
ON YOUR DOORSTEP!

3, ACTUALLY.
SOON TO BE 3 1/2.

AW, NELS,
YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES.

I MEAN, WHERE DO
THEY COME FROM?

THAT'S WHAT
I'D LIKE TO KNOW.

NEW YORK, I THOUGHT.

BEFORE THAT.

THE FRENCH COME
FROM FRANCE,

BUT JEWS,
THEY COME FROM ALL OVER!

HARRIET, I CAN'T CONCENTRATE
WITH YOU BUZZING IN MY EAR!

STICKING
THEIR GREAT NOSES

INTO EVERYBODY'S
BUSINESS!

WHY, BEFORE
YOU KNOW IT,

THE COHENS ARE GONNA
BE MOVING OUT HERE

AND TAKING OVER!

[CHEERFUL]
GOOD MORNING, HARRIET, NELS!

MORNING,
BENJAMIN.

Harriet: AND WHAT
CAN I DO FOR YOU THIS MORNING?

OH, NO, NO.
JUST A SOCIAL CALL.

OH, NICE STORE
YOU GOT HERE.

YES, THANK YOU.

TAKING
INVENTORY, NELS?

NO, NO, HE'S JUST
NOW FINISHED UP.

HAVEN'T YOU, DEAR?

HARRIET, I'VE STILL--

THERE'S
A NEW ORDER IN THE BACK, NELS,

THAT NEEDS TO BE
SORTED OUT.

EXCUSE ME, BENJAMIN.

UH-HUH.

WIDE VARIETY OF
MERCHANDISE YOU'VE GOT HERE.

THAT'S GOOD.

I HAD A STORE LIKE THIS
BACK IN THE SIXTIES.

I MISS IT SOMETIMES.

YOU KNOW, THESE BOOKS'D
GO A LOT FASTER

IF YOU MOVED
THE DRESSES CLOSER TO THE WALL.

THEY SELL QUITE WELL
RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE.

A GOOD LOCATION
AND THEY'LL GO LIKE HOTCAKES.

VISIBILITY--
THAT'S THE KEY!

I DON'T NEED
YOUR ADVICE

ON HOW TO RUN
MY BUSINESS, THANK YOU.

JUST A SUGGESTION.

AND I HAVE ONE FOR YOU,
MR. COHEN.

THIS IS NOT NEW YORK.

WE HAVE OUR OWN WAY
OF DOING THINGS HERE

AND WE WILL NOT CHANGE
DESPITE YOUR INTERFERENCE,

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES
TO RAISING CHILDREN!

I'M SORRY.

I TRIED MY BEST.

BUT THIS WOMAN IS...

IMPOSSIBLE!

HARRIET,
COME ALONG WITH ME.

NELS!

SOMETHING WRONG,
NELLIE?

YOU'RE
AWFULLY QUIET.

SOMETIMES...

I WISH
I WAS AN ORPHAN.

WHAT A TERRIBLE
THING TO SAY.

ALL RIGHT.

SHIPWRECKED
ON A DESERT ISLAND,

JUST ME AND PERCIVAL.

GET KIND OF LONELY
AFTER A WHILE.

YEAH, WELL, IT'D GET ME
AWAY FROM MY MOTHER...

AND PERCIVAL
AWAY FROM HIS FATHER.

JUST REMEMBER,
YOU MARRIED PERCIVAL,

NOT HIS PARENTS.

YOU DON'T KNOW
JEWISH FAMILIES.

I HAVEN'T CHECKED
THE RULE BOOK,

BUT I THINK THEY GO
WITH THE TERRITORY.

Benjamin:
ISAAC! ISAAC!

NOW WHAT?

FORGIVE ME,
ISAAC,

BUT I CANNOT
SMILE AT INSULTS!

PAPA, I HAVE
CUSTOMERS IN HERE.

A STUBBORN OLD FOOL,

THAT'S WHAT SHE IS!

PAPA, WILL YOU
SIT DOWN AND LET ME SAY SOMETHING?

ALL THIS BICKERING

BECAUSE OF ONE
SIMPLE REQUEST--

THAT I SHOULD DIE HAPPY,

KNOWING THAT MY GRANDSON
IS RAISED RIGHT!

STOP IT!

STOP IT!

OH, MAKE THEM
STOP IT!

NOW SEE WHAT
YOU'VE DONE!

WHAT I'VE DONE?!

NOW LISTEN TO ME,
ALL OF YOU!

I WILL NOT ALLOW
MY WIFE TO BE UPSET LIKE THIS!

NEITHER WILL I STAND BY
AND WATCH MY FATHER HAVE ANOTHER HEART ATTACK!

ISAAC!

PERCIVAL!

IS THIS WHAT
RELIGION IS ALL ABOUT--

ANGER,

FIGHTING,

HATRED?

WELL, IF IT IS,

NELLIE AND I DON'T WANT
ANY PART OF IT, NONE OF IT.

I THINK
WE NEED TO TALK.

IT IS TIME
WE REMEMBERED

THE WORDS OF ISAIAH...

"COME,

LET US REASON TOGETHER."

NOW, I WOULD LIKE
TO SAY SOMETHING.

YOU HAVE SAID
MORE THAN ENOUGH, HARRIET.

NOW KING SOLOMON'S
ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION

WAS TO DIVIDE
THE CHILD IN HALF.

I TAKE IT YOU
AGREE THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.

Harriet: I HOPE THIS
IS LEADING SOMEWHERE.

I HAVE
ANOTHER SUGGESTION.

IF I SOUND
RIDICULOUS,

JUST SAY SO, AND
I'LL KEEP QUIET.

WE'RE LISTENING,
NELS.

DO YOU WANT
YOUR GRANDSON

TO BE RAISED
IN THE JEWISH FAITH?

THE COHEN LINE
HAS TO BE PRESERVED.

FINE.

THIS ISN'T FAIR!

BUT IF NELLIE
HAS A DAUGHTER,

THEN SHE WILL
BE A DALTON,

A CHRISTIAN.

SO SIMPLE.

THEN...

IT'S SETTLED.

WELL, IF PERCIVAL
AND NELLIE AGREE.

UH, THEY'LL AGREE.

OH!

IT'S SILLY,

JUST PLAIN SILLY.

WELL, AT LEAST IT GOT
YOU SMILING AGAIN.

AH, JUST SO I DON'T
HAVE TO LISTEN

TO ANY MORE SCREAMING
AND HOLLERING.

THERE'LL BE
PLENTY MORE OF THAT.

WAIT TILL
THE BABY'S BORN.

IT'S KIND OF NICE, REALLY.

IF WE HAVE A DAUGHTER,
I CAN GIVE HER A BIG, FANCY CHURCH WEDDING.

AND IF IT'S A BOY,
PAPA CAN COME TO THE BAR MITZVAH.

WHATEVER THAT IS.

YOU'LL LEARN.

JUST PLAIN SILLY.

THAT MINISTER,
WHAT'S HIS NAME?

REVEREND ALDEN, PAPA.

THAT'S RIGHT, ALDEN.
NICE FELLA.

THE MINUTE I ASKED IF
WE COULD USE THE CHURCH

ON SATURDAY
FOR TEMPLE SERVICES,

HE SAID, "FINE."

AH, NICE FELLA.

THERE'S A LOT
OF NICE PEOPLE HERE, PAPA.

SO WHERE ARE THEY?

SO MUCH QUIET
ON A SATURDAY MORNING

IS HARD TO GET USED TO.

WELL, THINGS WILL BE JUMPING
THIS TIME TOMORROW.

SO WHEN DO
YOU JUMP, ISAAC?

THE PREACHER SAID

MINE WAS THE FIRST
TIME HE HAD HEARD SUCH A REQUEST.

I USUALLY GO WITH
NELLIE ON SUNDAY.

THEN IT'S TRUE.

YOU ARE
PERCIVAL DALTON,

A GENTILE.

NO, PAPA. I JUST HAVE
A DIFFERENT WAY OF PRAYING.

THE CHRISTIAN WAY.

IT'S JUST A BUILDING,
PAPA.

HOW CAN A ROOF OVER MY HEAD
CHANGE WHAT I AM?

A CHURCH IS NOT
A JEWISH HOUSE OF WORSHIP.

OH? THEN WHY ARE WE
GOING THERE NOW?

WELL,
THAT'S DIFFERENT.

IT'S SATURDAY.

DO YOU REMEMBER
WHEN I WAS LITTLE, YOU TOLD ME

THAT THE CENTER OF JUDAISM
IS IN THE HOME. AM I RIGHT?

YES,
I SAID THAT.

THEN I THINK THAT'S
WHERE MY PRAYERS BELONG.

WHERE IS IT WRITTEN

THAT A SON
SHOULD BE SMARTER

THAN HIS OWN FATHER?

* SHEMA ISRAEL *

* ADONAI ELO HEYNU *

* ADONAI ACHAD *

HEAR, O ISRAEL,
THE LORD OUR GOD,

THE LORD IS ONE.

OUR GOD,
AND GOD OF OUR FATHERS,

MAY OUR REST
BE ACCEPTABLE UNTO THEE.

HALLOW US
BY THY COMMANDMENTS,

SATISFY US
BY THY GOODNESS,

AND GLADDEN US
WITH THY SALVATION.

O PURIFY OUR HEARTS,

THAT WE MAY
SERVE THEE IN TRUTH.

DEAR GOD...
THOUGH YOU KNOW

I WOULD NOT
PRESUME TO ASK,

SHOULD YOU
BE OF A MIND

TO BLESS ME
AND MY FAMILY

WITH A GRANDSON,

I WOULD NOT
BE DISAPPOINTED.

CAN'T HURT.

PERCIVAL!

MR. COHEN!

THE BABY'S COMIN'!
THE BABY'S COMIN'!

[BABY CRYING]

IT'S A GIRL!

OH! GIRL!

WE'RE
GRANDMOTHERS!

OH!

ISN'T IT NICE?

NELLIE,
IS SHE ALL RIGHT?

SHE COULDN'T BE BETTER.
SHE'S FINE, JUST FINE.

Caroline: DR. BAKER!
COME QUICK!

STAY THERE!

IT'S OUR FAULT.

WE BROUGHT THIS
ON OURSELVES.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

Benjamin:
MY SON IS RIGHT.

HUH?

WE ASKED GOD TO
MAKE A DECISION,

TO CHOOSE
BETWEEN US.

THIS IS
HIS PUNISHMENT.

DEAR GOD, NO.

OH, NO. PLEASE LET
THE BABY BE ALL RIGHT.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
I DIDN'T MEAN--

[BABY CRIES]

THE BABY'S ALIVE!

OH! NELLIE!

OH, NO, NELS!

IT'S NELLIE!
[CRYING]

MRS. INGALLS,
MY WIFE--

OH, THERE'S
NO NEED TO BE ALARMED.

YOUR WIFE IS FINE.

YOU HAVE A SON.

Harriet: WHAT?

BUT DR. BAKER
SAID IT WAS A GIRL!

THAT'S RIGHT.

A BOY AND A GIRL.

TWINS!

I'M GONNA NEED
ANOTHER CRIB!

CONGRATULATIONS, GRANDMA!

OH, THERE.

I THINK
IT'S HUNGRY.

WE SHOULD
CALL NELLIE.

MAYBE THE BABY
NEEDS A SIPPY.

HOW'RE YOU FEELING?

FINE. I TOLD YOU
IT WAS A BREEZE.

READY FOR ANOTHER?

NO. I HAVE PLENTY
TO HANDLE WITH 2.

I'M GONNA HELP YOUR MOTHER
WITH THE CHAMPAGNE.

I'M STARVING.
CAN WE CUT THE CAKE NOW?

WHY DON'T YOU GO
ASK GRANDPA IN THERE?

WHICH ONE?

EITHER ONE.

Harriet:
LOOK AT THAT.

THIS PARTY
WAS A GREAT IDEA. MR. COHEN.

TRADITION,
WILLIE.

SHALOM, ZACHAR
SHEL HA-BACHOR.

HUH?

A CELEBRATION
FOR THE FIRSTBORN SON.

CAN WE
CUT THE CAKE NOW?

IN A MOMENT.

FIRST I HAVE A GIFT
FOR MY LITTLE NAMESAKE.

WELL, YES.

HEY, I THINK
HE LOOKS LIKE ME.

YES,
THEY BOTH DO.

NEITHER ONE
OF THEM HAVE HARDLY ANY HAIR.

Willie:
A NECKLACE FOR A BOY?

INSIDE HERE
IS INSCRIBED A SCROLL

WITH THE 127th PSALM.

OH, MY!
THAT'S PRETTY!

OH, IT IS NOT
FOR LOOKS, HARRIET.

THIS CHARM
WILL PROTECT

MY GRANDSON
FROM EVIL.

OH, WELL,
YOUR GRANDSON ALSO HAS A SISTER.

AH, HOW COULD I
FORGET LITTLE JENNIFER,

MY OWN GRANDDAUGHTER?

SUCH A PRETTY GIRL!

SHE HAS YOUR EYES,
HARRIET.

YOU'VE MADE HER
SPEECHLESS, BENJAMIN.

I'VE NEVER BEEN
ABLE TO DO THAT!

OH, IF YOU WEREN'T
HOLDING THAT CHILD,

I'D HIT YOU!

ALLOW ME.

OH, COME,
BENJAMIN.

THERE WE ARE.

DR. BAKER SWORE HE ONLY
HEARD ONE HEARTBEAT.

GOD WORKS
IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

HE CERTAINLY DOES.

LET ME TAKE THAT
FOR YOU, MAMA.

NO, DEAR. COME, COME.
HERE WE GO!

AH, CHAMPAGNE!

CAN I HAVE
SOME CHAMPAGNE WITH MY CAKE?

ALL RIGHT,
DARLING. JUST THIS ONCE.

Percival:
THANK YOU, MAMA.

L'CHAIM!

L'CHAIM!

TO JENNY AND BENNY!

BENJAMIN!

[ALL LAUGHING]

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