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In the year of Our Lord 1,123,
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00:00:27,012 --> 00:00:31,551
King Louis vl, known as "The Fat",
waged war against his cousin,
3
00:00:31,763 --> 00:00:35,128
Henry l, King of England
and Duke of Normandy.
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00:00:36,263 --> 00:00:38,467
Many brave knights fought beside him.
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00:00:39,138 --> 00:00:43,214
They believed in God
and the forces of Evil.
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Your Majesty,
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time is of the essence.
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Need I remind you
we are in their camp?
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00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,880
silence, Montmirail.
Love knows not haste!
10
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sire Godefroy!
11
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The English!
12
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:15,752
My vassal sees
13
00:01:15,972 --> 00:01:17,216
horsemen approaching.
14
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We are coming.
15
00:01:20,097 --> 00:01:23,428
I beg of you, Your Majesty,
make haste!
16
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Adieu, my sweet.
I must join my men.
17
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:27,591
Will I see you soon?
18
00:01:28,181 --> 00:01:31,179
When my cousin,
the King of England, makes amends.
19
00:01:32,306 --> 00:01:34,048
Do you love me, Kathleen?
20
00:01:36,223 --> 00:01:38,593
Then accord me one last favor,
should I die.
21
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- Hush hush...
- show me your ankles.
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I beseech thee, lady-love.
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Higher. Up to your knees.
24
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My God! How beautiful!
25
00:02:05,432 --> 00:02:06,178
sire...
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00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:07,303
they're coming.
27
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,087
Come, sire.
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THE vIsITORs
29
00:03:02,434 --> 00:03:03,547
This way.
30
00:03:32,393 --> 00:03:34,135
King! I capture thee!
31
00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:36,267
Let me, my King!
32
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Liar!
The King is never captured.
33
00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:41,429
Not even in chess.
34
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:48,679
Toil! Never recoil!
35
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sound the horns! The King!
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Master! You're alive!
37
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:02,468
God be praised!
38
00:05:02,687 --> 00:05:05,092
I managed to save
your horse and your arms.
39
00:05:05,312 --> 00:05:07,268
You managed to flee, as usual.
40
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Castrated clod!
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sire Godefroy,
The King summons you.
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Castrated clod!
43
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sires... the King!
44
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My kind knight Godefroy
45
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merits indeed
his name "The Hardy".
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His baldrick was nary stuckolded.
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00:05:31,438 --> 00:05:32,433
With his sword,
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he yslaked a scurvy English head.
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Godefroy Amaury de Malfete,
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Count of Montmirail,
of Apremont, and of Popincourt
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I shall thus reward your valor.
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sire, I am your eternal servant.
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I know you desire descendants.
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You have one week to fetch
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one of the fairest
Wenches in the Kingdom:
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the daughter of the Duke of Puglia.
I know you adore her.
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she is yours to wed.
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How can I thank thee?
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To serve my King is my Honor.
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Long live the King!
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00:06:03,981 --> 00:06:05,473
Long live the King!
62
00:06:05,689 --> 00:06:07,230
Long live the King!
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00:06:07,439 --> 00:06:09,430
- Who is he?
- Jacquasse the Crass.
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My vassal.
He should be waiting outside.
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00:06:13,814 --> 00:06:17,559
He lacks grace, but he sniffs out
a trail like a good hound.
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We must avoid the Forest of Malcombe,
and pass by Montargis.
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Avoid the forest?
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00:06:25,565 --> 00:06:28,598
You know it's haunted, sire.
No one dares penetrate it.
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Hogwash!
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My betrothed must not wait!
71
00:06:32,565 --> 00:06:34,307
What about the witch of Malcombe?
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Ride ahead of The Crass.
73
00:06:53,482 --> 00:06:55,686
she can turn an army into frog vomit.
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00:06:55,899 --> 00:06:58,055
At her touch, your skin spits pus.
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and you pisseth mud.
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she can damn 7 generations.
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We're doomed!
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00:07:08,899 --> 00:07:10,641
Doomed!
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Per Ansia
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Queribus Memorium
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00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:54,017
"Halt or becometh a slug."
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It's Latin and visigoth.
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00:07:56,026 --> 00:07:57,305
The Devil's drool!
84
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A Black sabbath.
Let's splitteth!
85
00:08:16,651 --> 00:08:17,599
What does she want?
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00:08:17,818 --> 00:08:20,520
To make that old hag
young again. It's impossible!
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00:08:21,485 --> 00:08:23,559
Drink! Drink!
88
00:08:40,444 --> 00:08:41,853
Where is she?
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00:08:42,277 --> 00:08:44,398
Fear not.
she'll drop back in.
90
00:08:49,527 --> 00:08:52,893
What a blast to have
a virgin's unpolluted body again!
91
00:08:53,111 --> 00:08:54,272
she's plug-ugly!
92
00:08:54,486 --> 00:08:56,891
Just like the day I married her!
93
00:08:58,527 --> 00:08:59,901
It's devildom!
94
00:09:03,319 --> 00:09:04,481
surrender, she-Devil!
95
00:09:27,153 --> 00:09:28,267
We'll dismember her
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00:09:28,487 --> 00:09:30,063
and slice out her tongue.
97
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,186
Let rats gnaw on her innards.
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00:09:34,904 --> 00:09:36,729
No lady is tortured on my lands.
99
00:09:36,945 --> 00:09:37,893
Just burn her.
100
00:09:38,112 --> 00:09:39,770
Thank you, sire.
101
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,019
Thank you. You are too good!
102
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At last... my castle.
103
00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:52,527
Unpack our best apparels
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to honor my beloved.
105
00:09:53,946 --> 00:09:55,320
Jacquasse, help me change.
106
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Yes, sire.
107
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I have no fine apparels.
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she won't even see you.
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00:10:01,904 --> 00:10:04,061
My shoes and my fanciest shell.
110
00:10:04,488 --> 00:10:07,107
Ganelon, sound the horn
to announce my arrival.
111
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,438
How thrilled am l, sire Fulbert,
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that my son weddeth your sweet
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and gentle daughter.
114
00:10:19,447 --> 00:10:22,149
I wanted her to weddeth a Duke,
115
00:10:22,572 --> 00:10:24,527
but our Fat King decided otherwise.
116
00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:26,733
Cursed be love.
117
00:10:27,863 --> 00:10:29,854
More wine!
Let me piss a-plenty!
118
00:10:32,947 --> 00:10:36,478
Father, you promised
nary to burp for my marriage.
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The Count of Montmirail!
120
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Frenegonde! where are you going?
Frenegonde! Come back!
121
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Come back this instant!
122
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:56,230
Frenegonde! Come back!
123
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No Duke's daughter runs after
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a mere Count.
125
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,653
You look good and gentle.
126
00:11:08,531 --> 00:11:09,810
And mighty uncomfortable.
127
00:11:10,281 --> 00:11:10,980
Why?
128
00:11:23,990 --> 00:11:26,028
Zounds!
The flask falleth all alone.
129
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,563
Give it to me.
My thirst needs a-quenching!
130
00:11:36,949 --> 00:11:37,897
The castle!
131
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:39,647
Holy scrotums!
132
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,406
It swelleth like a blowfish!
133
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It's wearing a wig!
134
00:11:53,574 --> 00:11:55,316
sire Godefroy, are you not well?
135
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By what devil-craft?
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What's wrong?
137
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Come back, you wicked wench!
138
00:12:15,658 --> 00:12:16,404
Come back!
139
00:12:17,825 --> 00:12:19,697
Come back, you foul slut!
140
00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:22,154
God shield!
A bear is chasing her!
141
00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:25,480
My crossbow!
142
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:29,028
Come back!
143
00:12:29,284 --> 00:12:30,741
There's no bear.
144
00:12:34,075 --> 00:12:35,983
steer clear, beloved!
steer clear!
145
00:12:49,618 --> 00:12:50,482
Father!
146
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,486
I saw a huge beast.
147
00:13:34,244 --> 00:13:37,277
I'll spend my life in a convent,
faithful to you.
148
00:13:37,577 --> 00:13:39,947
I can ne'er wed
the man who killed my father.
149
00:13:41,702 --> 00:13:43,492
I understand, my betrothed.
150
00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:44,982
I'll be faithful too.
151
00:13:45,786 --> 00:13:47,990
I shall ne'er marry...
152
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,743
ne'er have descendants.
153
00:13:49,953 --> 00:13:51,778
Don't do me any favors.
154
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,282
What are you up to?
155
00:14:29,496 --> 00:14:31,285
I Was praying for his saIvation.
156
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:32,988
Where is my father's wizard?
157
00:14:33,371 --> 00:14:34,745
Eusaebius?
158
00:14:44,371 --> 00:14:45,236
I found him.
159
00:14:46,038 --> 00:14:48,159
He lives yonder,
not far from here.
160
00:14:48,371 --> 00:14:49,994
But they say he's senile.
161
00:14:50,204 --> 00:14:53,405
I can make your Duke live again.
162
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:57,743
But you must know
no fear.
163
00:14:58,205 --> 00:14:59,449
Only God can do that!
164
00:14:59,705 --> 00:15:03,533
You are right.
Only God can bring back the dead.
165
00:15:04,038 --> 00:15:05,614
But there is another way.
166
00:15:05,830 --> 00:15:10,571
Time is a mountain,
pierced by many hidden tunnels.
167
00:15:10,788 --> 00:15:14,450
My magic spells can
give you access to them.
168
00:15:20,872 --> 00:15:21,737
Meet Angueran.
169
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scarface Angueran.
At your service.
170
00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:25,704
And my loyal Ganelon.
171
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:27,991
You shall return
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just before the Duke's death.
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If you find
enough force in yourself...
174
00:15:34,664 --> 00:15:37,864
you will be able
to change the course of the arrow.
175
00:15:38,081 --> 00:15:39,739
You'll wed your betrothed,
176
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and have the lineage you desire.
177
00:15:43,539 --> 00:15:45,162
It's sheer lunacy!
178
00:15:45,414 --> 00:15:47,737
Where is my powder of leech?
179
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,949
I haven't done this in ages.
I'm a bit rusty.
180
00:15:51,165 --> 00:15:52,657
He's senile!
181
00:15:53,581 --> 00:15:55,074
Here it is.
182
00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:00,154
If you fear not,
183
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Godefroy the Hardy, drink.
184
00:16:04,248 --> 00:16:08,194
You'll arrive in the forest
just before the accident.
185
00:16:08,415 --> 00:16:09,908
Don't trust the old fool!
186
00:16:10,124 --> 00:16:13,655
If sire Godefroy doesn't return,
We'll lock you in his dungeon
187
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With your Book of spells.
188
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:16,866
Trust me.
189
00:16:17,082 --> 00:16:19,914
Don't drink it, sire.
You'll turn into a frog,
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or a bat, or a goat,
or a nun's ass.
191
00:16:23,957 --> 00:16:25,236
Perhaps you're right.
192
00:16:25,457 --> 00:16:26,488
Drink first.
193
00:16:26,707 --> 00:16:27,323
Me?
194
00:16:27,541 --> 00:16:28,702
I'll see if you
195
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:30,243
turn into a nun's ass.
196
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,448
If you do, I'll seek revenge.
197
00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:34,075
Drink!
198
00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:47,287
so, my Crass?
199
00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:49,538
It tastes like pig excrement.
200
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:53,281
Candied concoctions
are for evil sorcerers.
201
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:57,114
Drink hastily.
I must say the incantation.
202
00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:58,240
If I drank...
203
00:16:59,292 --> 00:17:00,204
am I going too?
204
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:07,534
say the incantation.
205
00:17:59,793 --> 00:18:04,367
They've gone into
the Tunnels of Time!
206
00:18:10,669 --> 00:18:11,830
What's that noise?
207
00:18:12,044 --> 00:18:12,873
What did you step on?
208
00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:15,367
Rotten eggs.
209
00:18:16,044 --> 00:18:17,667
I forgot the quail eggs.
210
00:18:19,419 --> 00:18:21,125
What a catastrophe!
211
00:19:07,295 --> 00:19:08,753
stand up, peasant.
212
00:19:08,962 --> 00:19:09,661
Where are We?
213
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:11,535
And our friends?
214
00:19:11,754 --> 00:19:12,998
This isn't my Forest.
215
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:15,211
The wizard misled us!
216
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:18,495
We have tWo legs, sire.
And tWo arms.
217
00:19:18,712 --> 00:19:20,703
'Tis miracle enough.
218
00:19:21,296 --> 00:19:24,247
Fetch me a horse.
Make haste!
219
00:20:10,922 --> 00:20:12,996
Pugh! It stinketh!
220
00:20:25,714 --> 00:20:26,496
He's crazy!
221
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:33,172
sire! A Moor!
222
00:20:44,465 --> 00:20:46,372
A Moor in the Devil's chariot!
223
00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:48,711
'Tis metal,
With no oxen to pull it!
224
00:20:49,132 --> 00:20:50,411
sire, come see!
225
00:20:55,382 --> 00:20:57,705
Thither, sire! Thither!
226
00:21:01,882 --> 00:21:02,830
They're psychos.
227
00:21:04,549 --> 00:21:05,413
They're psychos.
228
00:21:12,049 --> 00:21:13,672
Psychos!
229
00:21:52,425 --> 00:21:53,918
Whose shield is this?
230
00:21:54,967 --> 00:21:57,420
Lord our Father, We have sinned.
231
00:21:58,175 --> 00:21:59,503
We'll bear this ordeal
232
00:22:00,175 --> 00:22:01,040
to the end.
233
00:22:01,509 --> 00:22:03,500
Give us the courage never to recoil.
234
00:22:03,717 --> 00:22:05,091
We Will obey Thee.
235
00:22:06,009 --> 00:22:07,466
Amen.
236
00:22:20,676 --> 00:22:23,081
It stinketh.
We can't breathe! We're doomed!
237
00:22:23,301 --> 00:22:25,043
No, I smell victuals.
238
00:22:27,843 --> 00:22:29,917
More diabolic chariots!
239
00:22:30,135 --> 00:22:31,627
Let's stay in the Forest.
240
00:22:31,843 --> 00:22:32,459
No!
241
00:22:32,676 --> 00:22:34,714
We can't fight on an empty belly.
242
00:22:35,885 --> 00:22:36,666
Two burgers!
243
00:22:37,593 --> 00:22:39,880
French fries and ketchup!
244
00:22:56,552 --> 00:22:57,666
Yo guys!
245
00:22:57,886 --> 00:22:59,082
Is it Halloween?
246
00:22:59,677 --> 00:23:01,964
You're dressed to go trick or treating!
247
00:23:02,177 --> 00:23:03,457
silence, strumpet.
248
00:23:03,677 --> 00:23:06,083
Take this and go your way.
249
00:23:08,302 --> 00:23:09,250
Leave us be.
250
00:23:09,469 --> 00:23:11,874
Holy Moses!
251
00:23:12,094 --> 00:23:14,002
Are you Tv stars?
252
00:23:14,219 --> 00:23:15,760
shove off! shove off!
253
00:23:15,969 --> 00:23:18,126
I don't want to impose,
Ladies and Gents,
254
00:23:18,344 --> 00:23:23,251
but since you're in show-biz,
do you know any... big-time agents?
255
00:23:25,761 --> 00:23:27,551
Quiet, peasant,
or I'll smacketh you.
256
00:23:27,761 --> 00:23:30,546
It just so happens
I studied song and dance.
257
00:23:30,761 --> 00:23:32,669
If you could get me an audition,
258
00:23:33,262 --> 00:23:34,636
it'd change my life.
259
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,500
What's wrong?
I'm no Worse than Madonna!
260
00:23:40,262 --> 00:23:42,501
Let us leave this vile baWd.
261
00:23:44,179 --> 00:23:45,636
Listen...
262
00:23:56,471 --> 00:24:00,760
still hanging around, sticky fingers?
Give back the steaks!
263
00:24:01,596 --> 00:24:04,712
Watch out!
I'm a political refugee!
264
00:24:04,929 --> 00:24:07,334
I'm sick of your shenanigans!
265
00:24:08,513 --> 00:24:09,887
Ho! lnnkeeper!
266
00:24:10,096 --> 00:24:11,838
You hit the fairer sex?
267
00:24:12,429 --> 00:24:16,009
What the hell do
these two clowns want?
268
00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:17,844
This isn't a hobo hideout!
269
00:24:18,055 --> 00:24:20,259
I am Godefroy of Montmirail,
Count of Apremont
270
00:24:20,471 --> 00:24:23,173
and of Popincourt.
And I lord over my property.
271
00:24:23,388 --> 00:24:25,011
Mr. vautrot! Help!
272
00:24:27,305 --> 00:24:30,587
Call the cops!
The bag lady's bothering Roger again!
273
00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:33,961
Murderer!
274
00:24:34,722 --> 00:24:37,045
Come on, toots!
This guy is gun crazy!
275
00:24:37,597 --> 00:24:38,426
Attack, sire!
276
00:24:39,013 --> 00:24:40,672
On your knees, punk!
277
00:24:40,889 --> 00:24:43,175
Montjoie! st. Denis!
278
00:24:47,972 --> 00:24:49,714
Jacquasse! My Jacquasse!
279
00:24:57,097 --> 00:24:59,005
Easy does it, hot stuff.
280
00:24:59,222 --> 00:25:00,170
Attack!
281
00:25:05,139 --> 00:25:06,881
Montjoie!
282
00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:08,680
Montjoie!
283
00:25:27,348 --> 00:25:28,841
Asylum!
284
00:25:29,057 --> 00:25:29,720
Asylum!
285
00:25:31,807 --> 00:25:33,714
Father, I beseech
the right to asylum.
286
00:25:34,723 --> 00:25:37,093
Mi... Mi, honey.
287
00:25:37,307 --> 00:25:39,712
That's it.
288
00:25:40,557 --> 00:25:43,259
Keep on practicing, love.
I'll be right back.
289
00:25:46,307 --> 00:25:48,345
Hello, Countess? It's Father Herve.
290
00:25:48,557 --> 00:25:49,470
Hello, Father.
291
00:25:49,682 --> 00:25:52,929
Yes, well...
My mass was interrupted...
292
00:25:53,141 --> 00:25:56,720
by a hooligan
dressed in a very peculiar way.
293
00:25:56,932 --> 00:26:00,761
He claims to be
the Count of Montmirail etc, etc...
294
00:26:00,974 --> 00:26:03,723
Quite frankly, he seems off his rocker.
295
00:26:03,933 --> 00:26:07,215
The Count of Montmirail?
Daddy died in '81 .
296
00:26:07,433 --> 00:26:12,007
I know, Beatrice. I buried him. This one
claims to be called "The Hardy".
297
00:26:12,225 --> 00:26:14,464
He has your family arms on his tunic.
298
00:26:14,683 --> 00:26:16,389
Godefroy the Hardy?
How absurd.
299
00:26:17,683 --> 00:26:18,548
Come quickly.
300
00:26:19,808 --> 00:26:20,970
He looks ornery.
301
00:26:21,225 --> 00:26:24,804
Hello? Hello?...
Father Herve?
302
00:26:30,725 --> 00:26:32,515
What is this?
303
00:26:33,309 --> 00:26:35,216
It's the UNICEF calendar.
304
00:26:39,975 --> 00:26:40,639
Hurry!
305
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:46,258
He's busy praying. He saw today's date
and went into a state of shock.
306
00:26:46,476 --> 00:26:48,845
He claims to be born in 1 076.
307
00:26:49,142 --> 00:26:50,516
He's a crackpot.
308
00:26:55,059 --> 00:26:55,840
My betrothed.
309
00:26:57,643 --> 00:26:59,219
My betrothed.
310
00:27:00,518 --> 00:27:02,141
You are here?
311
00:27:02,393 --> 00:27:05,095
Frenegonde!
My beautiful Frenegonde!
312
00:27:06,309 --> 00:27:08,051
stop!
That totally hurts!
313
00:27:08,268 --> 00:27:10,058
Calm down, you brute!
314
00:27:10,268 --> 00:27:10,884
It is l.
315
00:27:11,101 --> 00:27:12,594
stop. I don't know you.
316
00:27:12,810 --> 00:27:13,509
Frenegonde.
317
00:27:14,226 --> 00:27:17,011
The Countess doesn't know you.
318
00:27:17,435 --> 00:27:18,596
You've made a mistake.
319
00:27:18,810 --> 00:27:20,966
Cease, Father.
320
00:27:22,352 --> 00:27:24,556
Dare I understand?
321
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,432
This fair dame is not my beloved,
322
00:27:29,185 --> 00:27:30,975
but my descendant.
323
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:37,840
1 000 years betwixt us.
324
00:27:38,060 --> 00:27:41,757
Yes. I have to go.
I don't know him from Adam.
325
00:27:42,394 --> 00:27:44,515
I'm from the time of Louis vl.
Help me.
326
00:27:44,727 --> 00:27:45,889
shall I call for help?
327
00:27:46,102 --> 00:27:48,721
No, this very nice man
Won't harm us.
328
00:27:49,561 --> 00:27:50,888
Will 50 francs do?
329
00:27:51,102 --> 00:27:53,058
I must return to my time.
330
00:27:53,269 --> 00:27:54,383
Know'st thou a wizard?
331
00:27:54,603 --> 00:27:57,933
No. sorry, no wizard.
I know the wizard of Oz.
332
00:27:58,436 --> 00:28:00,343
Where is this "Oz"?
333
00:28:00,811 --> 00:28:03,478
Don't budge.
We'll take care of you.
334
00:28:13,020 --> 00:28:14,975
Thank you, my sweet.
335
00:28:15,812 --> 00:28:16,557
It's a miracle.
336
00:28:16,770 --> 00:28:18,807
Okay, call the police.
337
00:28:21,478 --> 00:28:23,765
- It's not very Christian.
- Of course it is.
338
00:28:26,937 --> 00:28:27,967
Pugh! How ugly!
339
00:28:28,187 --> 00:28:30,722
Without them,
We couldn't Watch Tv. Here...
340
00:28:30,937 --> 00:28:32,478
Just what the doc ordered.
341
00:28:34,854 --> 00:28:37,603
Thanks, bawd. You're ugly as sin,
but good-hearted.
342
00:28:37,812 --> 00:28:38,842
Ever see your nose?
343
00:28:40,187 --> 00:28:42,593
When you sneeze,
is it typhoon season?
344
00:28:42,812 --> 00:28:45,218
Your wine is fruity,
but a tad watery.
345
00:28:45,437 --> 00:28:47,558
The wine's mine, swine.
346
00:28:52,271 --> 00:28:55,637
What a raunchy eater!
You eat the plastic too?
347
00:28:58,813 --> 00:29:00,389
The wizard was senile.
348
00:29:00,605 --> 00:29:02,595
If I catch him,
I'll skin him alive.
349
00:29:02,896 --> 00:29:04,852
Don't take it so bad.
350
00:29:05,438 --> 00:29:07,310
Those pigs aIways get us.
351
00:29:07,521 --> 00:29:09,180
Is your buddy a wrestler?
352
00:29:09,521 --> 00:29:10,635
I saw him on Tv.
353
00:29:11,897 --> 00:29:13,722
I wanted to be a singer...
354
00:29:13,938 --> 00:29:16,178
but they're all
full of shit in show-biz.
355
00:29:18,147 --> 00:29:19,177
My sire is a warrior,
356
00:29:19,397 --> 00:29:22,395
a trusted aide of our King.
The Count of Montmirail.
357
00:29:22,605 --> 00:29:23,802
Montmirail?
358
00:29:24,064 --> 00:29:25,473
The dentist's old lady?
359
00:29:25,689 --> 00:29:27,312
He couldn't marry her!
360
00:29:27,522 --> 00:29:29,264
That's why we're here.
361
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:30,677
They're not married?
362
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,183
No kidding!
The nerve of that prude!
363
00:29:34,397 --> 00:29:37,064
she acts so holier-than-thou
at the rummage sale.
364
00:29:37,272 --> 00:29:38,018
What a bitch!
365
00:29:42,897 --> 00:29:44,094
You came so fast.
366
00:29:44,314 --> 00:29:46,981
squadron sergeant-Major Gibon.
At your service, Countess.
367
00:29:47,189 --> 00:29:48,931
I brought the National Guard.
368
00:29:49,148 --> 00:29:50,226
Where's the offender?
369
00:29:50,439 --> 00:29:52,644
My stars!
Your squadron is quite impressive.
370
00:29:52,856 --> 00:29:55,807
He's a bit brutal, but he's just
a poor homeless person.
371
00:29:56,023 --> 00:29:57,220
They're back-up.
372
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,098
This is Doctor Bauvin.
373
00:30:00,898 --> 00:30:03,138
First we'll talk to him.
size up the beast.
374
00:30:03,356 --> 00:30:06,271
Let's go, Bauvin.
375
00:30:07,898 --> 00:30:08,597
Good luck!
376
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:17,478
Where is she?
377
00:30:17,690 --> 00:30:19,811
Enough!
ldentity papers! Green card!
378
00:30:20,024 --> 00:30:21,895
Psychology, sergeant-Major.
379
00:30:22,107 --> 00:30:24,347
Hello there.
Are you from around here?
380
00:30:24,565 --> 00:30:25,939
Bow down before me,
381
00:30:26,149 --> 00:30:27,262
and I shall be clement.
382
00:30:27,482 --> 00:30:29,887
Why the costume?
Are you an actor?
383
00:30:30,107 --> 00:30:31,055
Is this for Tv?
384
00:30:33,107 --> 00:30:35,264
Candid Camera?
should I smile?
385
00:30:35,857 --> 00:30:37,813
Where is my descendant?
Answer or die!
386
00:30:38,024 --> 00:30:40,809
Let me, sergeant-Major.
He's a sicko!
387
00:30:41,024 --> 00:30:43,975
A little shot
and you'll be good as new.
388
00:30:44,191 --> 00:30:46,312
Give me your arm.
389
00:30:53,525 --> 00:30:56,688
Officer, send in
your men on the double!
390
00:30:56,900 --> 00:30:59,649
He's a maniac!
He took the doctor hostage!
391
00:31:16,567 --> 00:31:18,522
Thanks for coming!
392
00:31:25,359 --> 00:31:27,563
Montjoie! st. Denis!
393
00:31:31,984 --> 00:31:33,642
Toil, toil! Never recoil!
394
00:31:41,193 --> 00:31:44,641
I have a horrible doubt. This tramp
just may be part of my family.
395
00:31:44,859 --> 00:31:45,475
What?
396
00:31:45,693 --> 00:31:48,181
"Montjoie" is the battle cry
of French knights.
397
00:31:50,110 --> 00:31:54,020
"Toil! Never recoil!"
is the motto of Godefroy the Hardy.
398
00:31:54,235 --> 00:31:55,727
It's my family's motto.
399
00:31:55,943 --> 00:31:57,685
Now you have doubts?
400
00:31:58,401 --> 00:31:59,681
He's calmed doWn.
401
00:31:59,901 --> 00:32:03,102
Hold him down.
I'll put him to sleep.
402
00:32:12,819 --> 00:32:14,939
No, my mistake!
I never saw him before.
403
00:32:15,610 --> 00:32:17,435
It can't hurt.
I killed the nerve.
404
00:32:17,735 --> 00:32:18,979
Jean-Pierre, come here.
405
00:32:19,194 --> 00:32:20,224
Excuse me, ma'am.
406
00:32:20,694 --> 00:32:22,021
I'll just be a minute.
407
00:32:23,694 --> 00:32:25,933
Do you remember my cousin Hubert?
408
00:32:26,152 --> 00:32:27,859
Martha's son. Naval Academy.
409
00:32:28,069 --> 00:32:30,107
The race car driver?
I never met him.
410
00:32:30,319 --> 00:32:33,483
Obviously. He disappeared
in Borneo before our marriage.
411
00:32:33,694 --> 00:32:35,317
- I think he's alive.
- What?
412
00:32:35,528 --> 00:32:37,981
As wacky as it sounds,
today's Tarzan...
413
00:32:38,194 --> 00:32:40,315
is probably Hubert.
He's totally changed.
414
00:32:40,528 --> 00:32:41,855
You said he was a bum.
415
00:32:42,069 --> 00:32:43,527
He had family air.
416
00:32:43,736 --> 00:32:46,687
The sensual nose,
the large forehead...
417
00:32:46,945 --> 00:32:50,145
You meet a derelict
With a shiny red schnozz, and noW...
418
00:32:50,361 --> 00:32:52,151
he's a long-lost sensual cousin!
419
00:32:52,361 --> 00:32:53,902
A cousin with our arms!
420
00:32:54,111 --> 00:32:56,019
Don't just stand there.
Come look.
421
00:32:58,612 --> 00:33:00,649
Look. The Montmirail family album.
422
00:33:01,487 --> 00:33:03,394
Here's our first Count,
Godefroy The Hardy.
423
00:33:03,612 --> 00:33:05,437
It's the same nose and forehead.
424
00:33:05,653 --> 00:33:08,770
That's a 900-year old drawing.
What's the link with Hubert?
425
00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,902
I'll call the castle.
When Hubert was 1 9,
426
00:33:12,112 --> 00:33:14,316
he posed for the last
family portrait.
427
00:33:14,529 --> 00:33:15,938
A wild-goose chase!
428
00:33:24,987 --> 00:33:27,144
Beatrice Goulard de Montmirail
for Mr. Jacquart.
429
00:33:27,362 --> 00:33:29,768
Hello, Countess. It's Frederick.
430
00:33:29,987 --> 00:33:31,528
Fred, is Jacques-Henri there?
431
00:33:31,738 --> 00:33:34,984
One minute. A word of warning:
he's repairing the boiler.
432
00:33:35,196 --> 00:33:36,061
He's on edge.
433
00:33:36,279 --> 00:33:37,025
Jacques-Henri!
434
00:33:38,529 --> 00:33:40,319
Why did you jerk
the lever so violently?
435
00:33:40,529 --> 00:33:41,643
You asked me to.
436
00:33:41,863 --> 00:33:43,142
spare me.
437
00:33:43,363 --> 00:33:45,649
My stunning vest
is now a filthy rag.
438
00:33:45,863 --> 00:33:47,142
Jacques-Henri!
439
00:33:47,363 --> 00:33:49,153
Why are you shouting?
440
00:33:49,363 --> 00:33:50,441
Beatrice de Montmirail.
441
00:33:50,655 --> 00:33:52,195
What a ball-buster.
442
00:33:52,405 --> 00:33:53,269
Jacquart?
443
00:33:53,488 --> 00:33:54,602
Jacquart?
444
00:33:54,822 --> 00:33:55,437
Yes?
445
00:33:55,655 --> 00:33:56,982
Boiler trouble?
446
00:33:57,197 --> 00:33:58,394
The burner is ruined.
447
00:33:58,613 --> 00:34:00,569
Jean-Francois yanked on the lever.
448
00:34:00,780 --> 00:34:01,942
Oil spurt out.
449
00:34:02,155 --> 00:34:05,070
I was nearly disfigured.
Not to mention my jacket.
450
00:34:05,780 --> 00:34:07,273
No one is of any help.
451
00:34:08,614 --> 00:34:09,811
At least no one died.
452
00:34:10,030 --> 00:34:11,025
Thank God.
453
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:12,233
I have a problem too.
454
00:34:12,447 --> 00:34:13,821
Can I ask you a favor?
455
00:34:15,739 --> 00:34:18,737
Go upstairs to the Gallery.
In our last family portrait...
456
00:34:18,947 --> 00:34:21,151
there's a Royal Navy cadet.
457
00:34:21,364 --> 00:34:25,026
second row. The kepi with a feather.
Do you have a Pola?
458
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:25,855
A what?
459
00:34:26,072 --> 00:34:29,355
A Polaroid, Jacques.
The children threw ours in the toilet.
460
00:34:29,573 --> 00:34:32,820
We have no "Pola". And my name
is Jacques-Henri, not Jacques.
461
00:34:33,031 --> 00:34:37,653
Try to understand, Jacquart/
my cousin is in an insane asylum
462
00:34:37,906 --> 00:34:38,771
by accident.
463
00:34:38,989 --> 00:34:40,447
I can't help your cousin.
464
00:34:40,656 --> 00:34:41,437
We're busy.
465
00:34:42,865 --> 00:34:45,946
The Bernay and Bernay Bank
is here for a seminar.
466
00:34:46,156 --> 00:34:48,361
Edgar Bernay will be
bathing in cold water.
467
00:34:48,573 --> 00:34:51,820
so, even if I had a "Pola",
I wouldn't take your picture.
468
00:34:52,740 --> 00:34:55,193
Okay, I'll hang up.
I'll deal with this myself.
469
00:34:55,407 --> 00:34:56,355
Toodle-oo.
470
00:34:58,282 --> 00:34:59,230
Good riddance.
471
00:35:00,948 --> 00:35:01,647
sir...
472
00:35:01,865 --> 00:35:02,481
Yes.
473
00:35:02,699 --> 00:35:05,981
The rooms are horribly humid.
Mr. Bernay is sneezing non-stop.
474
00:35:06,199 --> 00:35:09,150
He wanted to relax
after his speech on sponsoring.
475
00:35:09,407 --> 00:35:10,816
so he took a shower.
476
00:35:11,032 --> 00:35:11,696
Ice-cold.
477
00:35:11,907 --> 00:35:13,281
His head is full of shampoo.
478
00:35:13,491 --> 00:35:15,777
If you can't get the hot water back,
479
00:35:15,991 --> 00:35:17,981
We'll have to cut short the seminar.
480
00:35:19,282 --> 00:35:20,740
Does the lnstamatic work?
481
00:35:20,991 --> 00:35:23,065
I'm draining Mrs. Pelissier's molar.
482
00:35:23,699 --> 00:35:24,813
It'll be fine.
483
00:35:25,574 --> 00:35:27,648
This is the Montmirail's house.
484
00:35:33,366 --> 00:35:35,273
Take it easy!
485
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:39,655
They'll bawI us out. stop!
486
00:35:39,866 --> 00:35:41,940
They'll call the cops
for noise pollution.
487
00:35:42,158 --> 00:35:43,948
Try ringing the bell.
488
00:35:48,367 --> 00:35:50,820
Knock it off!
They'll kick us out!
489
00:36:00,117 --> 00:36:02,688
Jacquart,
Why are you dressed like that?
490
00:36:04,284 --> 00:36:05,481
Excuse our excessive chiming,
491
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:07,028
your Grace...
492
00:36:07,242 --> 00:36:08,237
Lady Frenegonde!
493
00:36:09,325 --> 00:36:10,902
Let me go! You're crazy!
494
00:36:13,784 --> 00:36:14,945
she's my mistress!
495
00:36:15,159 --> 00:36:15,858
What?
496
00:36:16,076 --> 00:36:17,734
Jean-Pierre, come here.
497
00:36:17,951 --> 00:36:20,155
Jacquart is calling me
"Frenegonde" too.
498
00:36:20,367 --> 00:36:22,275
You slept with her?
Don't worry.
499
00:36:22,993 --> 00:36:25,907
He looks weird but he's pals
With Montmirail the stuntman.
500
00:36:26,409 --> 00:36:27,736
Montmirail the stuntman?
501
00:36:27,951 --> 00:36:30,902
You must mean Hubert,
the race car driver.
502
00:36:31,159 --> 00:36:32,238
stuntman, wrestler...
503
00:36:32,493 --> 00:36:33,357
race car driver...
504
00:36:33,576 --> 00:36:34,489
same diff.
505
00:36:34,701 --> 00:36:35,815
But who are you?
506
00:36:36,826 --> 00:36:40,073
Jacquasse The Crass.
You don't recognizeth me?
507
00:36:40,285 --> 00:36:43,318
No, I don't recognizeth you.
You're Hubert's friend?
508
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:45,572
Hubert de Montmirail, whatta hunk.
509
00:36:45,785 --> 00:36:47,194
And so considerate...
510
00:36:47,410 --> 00:36:49,365
Iike you, your Ladyship.
511
00:36:49,577 --> 00:36:51,567
And he gallops
like Kerwin Costnere.
512
00:36:52,368 --> 00:36:54,939
Coward that I am,
I lost track of my sire
513
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:55,941
at the inn.
514
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,404
They got in a brawI
515
00:36:57,619 --> 00:36:59,325
at Remi vautrot's pit stop.
516
00:36:59,535 --> 00:37:00,530
Whip me...
517
00:37:00,744 --> 00:37:02,367
your Ladyship!
518
00:37:04,494 --> 00:37:05,607
What is it?
519
00:37:07,536 --> 00:37:09,325
- Jacquart?
- Thou know'st me?
520
00:37:09,536 --> 00:37:10,235
What?
521
00:37:10,452 --> 00:37:11,566
A Jacquart from hunger.
522
00:37:11,786 --> 00:37:12,532
I'm lost.
523
00:37:12,744 --> 00:37:13,490
Mr. Goulard...
524
00:37:13,911 --> 00:37:14,740
Yes, hello...
525
00:37:14,952 --> 00:37:16,149
He's a friend
526
00:37:16,369 --> 00:37:18,194
of Hubert's. According to her,
527
00:37:18,411 --> 00:37:21,492
Hubert has become
a stuntman and a wrestler.
528
00:37:21,786 --> 00:37:24,191
What horrible teeth!
Let's have a look.
529
00:37:27,411 --> 00:37:28,821
I'm no mule! Zounds!
530
00:37:29,036 --> 00:37:31,276
That ass bit me!
I need a tetanus shot!
531
00:37:31,495 --> 00:37:33,367
He might even have rabies!
532
00:37:33,578 --> 00:37:36,197
It isn't Jacquart.
I did his bridge-work.
533
00:37:36,411 --> 00:37:38,485
Obviously, Jean-Pierre.
534
00:37:38,703 --> 00:37:40,575
He proves that Hubert is alive.
535
00:37:40,787 --> 00:37:43,405
We have to get him
out of the hospital.
536
00:37:44,162 --> 00:37:45,110
You banged the Countess?
537
00:37:47,203 --> 00:37:47,902
Bitch.
538
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,450
The bum can't come.
My car isn't Noah's ark.
539
00:37:54,245 --> 00:37:55,074
Open the window.
540
00:37:55,287 --> 00:37:57,159
His body odor is unbearable.
541
00:37:58,745 --> 00:38:00,368
He's very, very green.
542
00:38:01,995 --> 00:38:03,867
stop the car.
He's going to vomit.
543
00:38:04,079 --> 00:38:05,109
Wait a second!
544
00:38:05,329 --> 00:38:06,359
Hold it in!
545
00:38:09,162 --> 00:38:10,241
It's coming!
546
00:38:16,329 --> 00:38:17,739
He got it all over.
547
00:38:18,038 --> 00:38:19,945
What a pig!
He puked on my shoes!
548
00:38:21,371 --> 00:38:24,618
Your cousin is very violent.
He nearly castrated me.
549
00:38:24,829 --> 00:38:27,034
Castrated clod!
550
00:38:27,246 --> 00:38:28,075
What?
551
00:38:28,788 --> 00:38:30,411
He saved our King's life.
552
00:38:30,621 --> 00:38:31,367
What?
553
00:38:31,580 --> 00:38:32,528
Ah, my youngling.
554
00:38:32,996 --> 00:38:34,786
Why did you abandon me?
555
00:38:36,413 --> 00:38:37,575
Their little red balls
556
00:38:37,788 --> 00:38:38,701
made me sleep.
557
00:38:38,913 --> 00:38:40,620
Master! Master!
558
00:38:40,830 --> 00:38:43,911
Why are you bound?
How much is the ransom?
559
00:38:44,122 --> 00:38:45,366
silence, peasant!
560
00:38:45,580 --> 00:38:47,654
The "Iittle red balls" are valium.
561
00:38:47,913 --> 00:38:49,739
50 milligrams. He barely slept.
562
00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:54,948
Apothecary, I demand
to be released immediately.
563
00:38:55,205 --> 00:38:56,319
Calm down.
564
00:38:57,539 --> 00:39:01,580
I am neither sick nor loony.
I come from far, far away.
565
00:39:01,789 --> 00:39:02,819
Yes.
566
00:39:03,039 --> 00:39:06,120
He thinks no one
understands who he is.
567
00:39:06,372 --> 00:39:07,782
Persecution mania.
568
00:39:07,997 --> 00:39:11,742
But it's true. He came from Borneo.
He had an accident during a rally.
569
00:39:12,456 --> 00:39:13,653
Right, cousin Hubert?
570
00:39:13,998 --> 00:39:14,697
Cousin Hubert?
571
00:39:14,914 --> 00:39:16,739
Yes. Hubert de Montmirail.
572
00:39:16,956 --> 00:39:19,907
It's freaky...
he has my father's hands.
573
00:39:20,914 --> 00:39:21,909
You know your name.
574
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,409
He knows nothing.
He's completely amnesiac.
575
00:39:25,623 --> 00:39:27,413
He says he's never watched Tv.
576
00:39:27,623 --> 00:39:29,448
Amnesiac? How tragic!
577
00:39:41,123 --> 00:39:43,328
His last remaining memories are
578
00:39:43,540 --> 00:39:45,330
a few facts from History class.
579
00:39:45,540 --> 00:39:46,535
Elementary stuff.
580
00:39:46,915 --> 00:39:48,823
It's often the case with amnesiacs.
581
00:39:49,999 --> 00:39:53,162
He speaks a hodgepodge
of Latin and Old French.
582
00:39:53,540 --> 00:39:55,081
verbal diarrhea.
583
00:39:55,290 --> 00:39:56,487
Let him go.
584
00:39:57,249 --> 00:39:59,535
- Pawing at him won't help!
- Compose yourself.
585
00:40:00,957 --> 00:40:01,988
Will you free him?
586
00:40:02,332 --> 00:40:04,951
Yes, only because
your husband is a doctor,
587
00:40:05,166 --> 00:40:06,493
and he agrees to take
588
00:40:06,707 --> 00:40:07,655
full responsibility.
589
00:40:08,041 --> 00:40:09,534
Another relative of yours?
590
00:40:10,291 --> 00:40:11,452
No, not at all.
591
00:40:11,666 --> 00:40:13,324
An old friend of Hubert's.
592
00:40:13,541 --> 00:40:14,820
I belong to the Count.
593
00:40:15,999 --> 00:40:16,912
souplette, sire?
594
00:40:17,124 --> 00:40:20,241
Is he a foreigner?
I don't understand him.
595
00:40:20,458 --> 00:40:22,781
Yes, that must be it.
Come, cousin...
596
00:40:25,708 --> 00:40:29,619
Wait! lf you take him,
take his outfit too.
597
00:40:29,958 --> 00:40:32,660
It smells like a billy goat here.
It's repulsive.
598
00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:39,456
Here, take the valium.
599
00:40:39,667 --> 00:40:42,286
If he gets violent,
give him five of them.
600
00:40:42,625 --> 00:40:43,703
Thank you.
601
00:40:46,209 --> 00:40:48,744
Two more lunatics roaming the streets.
602
00:40:49,375 --> 00:40:50,240
sit down here.
603
00:40:50,459 --> 00:40:52,782
Take care of him. I'll get the car.
604
00:40:56,917 --> 00:40:58,375
Lady Frenegonde is strange.
605
00:40:58,584 --> 00:41:01,073
she is not Lady Frenegonde.
she's my descendant.
606
00:41:01,584 --> 00:41:04,748
My great great great
great great great granddaughter.
607
00:41:05,293 --> 00:41:07,449
Your great great
great great granddaughter?
608
00:41:08,501 --> 00:41:09,875
How terrible!
609
00:41:10,084 --> 00:41:13,699
My Crass, we're a 1 000 years old.
It's a living hell.
610
00:41:16,585 --> 00:41:18,492
We must search the dungeon.
611
00:41:18,710 --> 00:41:21,412
Angueran swore to lock up
the wizard and his Book.
612
00:41:21,626 --> 00:41:25,158
With the book, We can concoct
the potion and go back in Time.
613
00:41:25,460 --> 00:41:27,664
Drink that again? Pugh!
614
00:41:29,502 --> 00:41:30,959
You'd rather stay here?
615
00:41:33,543 --> 00:41:34,242
Oh no!
616
00:41:40,377 --> 00:41:41,918
Is this too fast, Hubert?
617
00:41:42,127 --> 00:41:43,371
Do you feel sick?
618
00:41:43,585 --> 00:41:46,536
Open your eyes, sire Godefroy.
You'll get used to it.
619
00:41:47,377 --> 00:41:49,284
Why "Godefroy" and not "Hubert"?
620
00:41:49,502 --> 00:41:50,912
Jean-Pierre, he has amnesia.
621
00:41:51,127 --> 00:41:52,917
Godefroy, Henri, suzy...
622
00:41:53,252 --> 00:41:56,700
Wait. Who has amnesia?
Your cousin or that other skunk?
623
00:41:57,669 --> 00:41:58,831
They both do, Jean-Pierre.
624
00:41:59,127 --> 00:42:00,917
Try being more tolerant.
625
00:42:08,086 --> 00:42:10,041
Their feet reek! It's revolting!
626
00:42:10,253 --> 00:42:11,959
What an insufferable ride!
627
00:42:12,170 --> 00:42:15,002
Please...
I didn't smell anything unusual.
628
00:42:19,836 --> 00:42:21,246
Did the kids behave?
629
00:42:21,461 --> 00:42:23,333
- Yes.
- Okay, toodle-oo!
630
00:42:23,545 --> 00:42:26,377
Zounds! What happened to Nature?
631
00:42:26,962 --> 00:42:29,201
Everything is ugly.
There's no room...
632
00:42:29,420 --> 00:42:30,961
to go hunting.
633
00:42:31,170 --> 00:42:33,540
The air is heavy.
It stinketh!
634
00:42:33,753 --> 00:42:34,701
I'll say!
635
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,290
And it'll be worse
With the new highway.
636
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,200
Good-bye, Dr. Goulard.
637
00:42:40,420 --> 00:42:41,664
Here you go.
638
00:42:42,004 --> 00:42:44,125
It smells gross. Yeeuck!
639
00:42:45,254 --> 00:42:46,533
Like old socks.
640
00:42:46,754 --> 00:42:47,618
Could be.
641
00:42:47,837 --> 00:42:49,164
see you tomorrow, Hilda.
642
00:42:52,212 --> 00:42:53,326
Where is my castle?
643
00:42:53,546 --> 00:42:55,086
We left the castle ages ago.
644
00:42:55,296 --> 00:42:56,160
Unfortunately.
645
00:42:56,379 --> 00:42:58,619
Can you imagine the heating bills?
646
00:42:58,838 --> 00:43:01,077
Anyway, Hubert,
make yourself at home here.
647
00:43:01,296 --> 00:43:02,623
I must go to the castle.
648
00:43:02,838 --> 00:43:03,868
Yes! Yes!
649
00:43:04,088 --> 00:43:06,162
That'll be tomorrow's outing!
650
00:43:06,379 --> 00:43:09,164
Count me out.
I'm over-booked already.
651
00:43:09,505 --> 00:43:10,286
Dinnertime!
652
00:43:10,755 --> 00:43:12,710
Yes! souplette! Good hot souplette!
653
00:43:12,921 --> 00:43:16,121
Yes, Mr... Jacques Kass.
I'll make you some.
654
00:43:20,338 --> 00:43:21,286
He loves soup.
655
00:43:26,213 --> 00:43:28,667
You live in a pitiful dwelling.
656
00:43:28,963 --> 00:43:30,337
'Tis for peasants.
657
00:43:30,547 --> 00:43:32,502
True, our home is simple.
658
00:43:32,714 --> 00:43:36,044
But it's cozy and has lent itself
to some marvelous evenings.
659
00:43:36,255 --> 00:43:37,037
Don't push it.
660
00:43:37,505 --> 00:43:39,745
We weren't counting
on having houseguests.
661
00:43:39,964 --> 00:43:41,373
so go easy on us, Hubert.
662
00:43:41,589 --> 00:43:42,833
You're Cousin Hubert?
663
00:43:43,047 --> 00:43:45,002
O! noble Cousin Hubert!
664
00:43:45,547 --> 00:43:47,503
Now he's calling me Hubert!
665
00:43:48,089 --> 00:43:49,333
They're both crazy!
666
00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:52,371
Listen, peon.
667
00:43:52,589 --> 00:43:53,916
I'm Cousin Hubert.
668
00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:55,375
You, sire?
669
00:43:55,589 --> 00:43:58,504
I don't want
to go back to the loonies.
670
00:43:58,714 --> 00:44:00,622
Call me "Cousin Hubert"...
671
00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:02,960
and never "sire". Understand?
672
00:44:03,464 --> 00:44:04,246
Yes, sire.
673
00:44:06,298 --> 00:44:09,130
stop that, or I'll give you
the little red balls.
674
00:44:12,256 --> 00:44:13,832
Leg of lamb, my sire!
675
00:44:14,048 --> 00:44:15,162
Why "my sire" now?
676
00:44:15,381 --> 00:44:17,952
I don't know, Jean-Pierre.
I just don't know.
677
00:44:19,965 --> 00:44:21,292
Mr... Kass,
that's for tomorrow.
678
00:44:21,507 --> 00:44:24,042
Tonight is cold roast beef
and a salad...
679
00:44:24,257 --> 00:44:25,584
and a Cup-a-soup for you.
680
00:44:25,798 --> 00:44:28,417
If you're still hungry,
you can have some left-overs.
681
00:44:28,632 --> 00:44:30,290
Then a shower and off to bed.
682
00:44:30,507 --> 00:44:33,671
Maybe they can start with the shower.
After such a trying day...
683
00:44:33,882 --> 00:44:35,339
they'll want to wash up.
684
00:44:35,549 --> 00:44:36,413
No servants?
685
00:44:38,090 --> 00:44:40,413
Come wash your hands.
686
00:45:25,634 --> 00:45:26,581
Bea, come look.
687
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:27,499
What is it?
688
00:45:27,717 --> 00:45:28,629
Come look!
689
00:45:28,842 --> 00:45:30,086
What?
690
00:45:32,342 --> 00:45:34,463
Cousin Hubert, What are you doing?
691
00:45:34,675 --> 00:45:36,547
Can amnesia be this serious?
692
00:45:36,759 --> 00:45:38,216
They're boors!
693
00:45:38,426 --> 00:45:39,883
swimming in the toilet!
694
00:45:41,509 --> 00:45:42,290
Water.
695
00:45:43,467 --> 00:45:44,166
soap.
696
00:45:44,509 --> 00:45:45,883
Hot.
697
00:45:46,092 --> 00:45:47,882
Cold. Okay?
698
00:45:48,218 --> 00:45:49,876
Thank you, gentle Lady.
699
00:45:51,176 --> 00:45:52,717
Gentle lady...
700
00:45:55,634 --> 00:45:56,629
sire Godefroy.
701
00:45:58,176 --> 00:45:59,835
Cousin Hubert!
702
00:46:00,051 --> 00:46:02,042
Lady Frenegonde is
1 000 years old too?
703
00:46:02,676 --> 00:46:04,714
she's not Lady Frenegonde.
704
00:46:04,926 --> 00:46:06,300
she's Lady Beatrice.
705
00:46:06,510 --> 00:46:08,749
How often must I tell you?
706
00:46:09,718 --> 00:46:11,211
Lady Beatrice.
707
00:46:12,843 --> 00:46:14,419
The descendant.
708
00:46:18,510 --> 00:46:20,417
Jean-Pierre, set the table.
709
00:46:20,635 --> 00:46:21,416
The nice plates
710
00:46:21,635 --> 00:46:22,500
or the normal ones?
711
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:24,544
Jean-Pierre, use mother's service.
712
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,424
Ridiculous.
713
00:46:28,094 --> 00:46:30,049
Here. Help me, you two.
714
00:46:36,802 --> 00:46:38,923
You stupid idiots!
715
00:46:39,136 --> 00:46:42,252
Bea, they're retarded!
They can't even set a table!
716
00:46:45,761 --> 00:46:46,424
Hello!
717
00:46:47,011 --> 00:46:49,582
Don't scream.
It's Jacquart. I'm not deaf.
718
00:46:49,969 --> 00:46:53,003
I'm sorry, Jacques-Henri.
Bea has some family over.
719
00:46:53,594 --> 00:46:54,708
It's not easy.
720
00:46:54,928 --> 00:46:57,630
sorry to bother you.
I'm here with President Bernay
721
00:46:57,928 --> 00:46:59,919
the younger of the two
banking brothers.
722
00:47:00,136 --> 00:47:00,835
A charming man.
723
00:47:01,553 --> 00:47:04,634
Unfortunately,
he has a festering abscess.
724
00:47:04,845 --> 00:47:06,835
Due to the humidity in your hotel,
725
00:47:07,053 --> 00:47:09,210
or your "Royal Raspberry" sherbet.
726
00:47:09,637 --> 00:47:11,295
His face is all bloated.
727
00:47:20,762 --> 00:47:23,215
I'll see your friend Bernie
tomorrow at 8:00.
728
00:47:23,470 --> 00:47:25,544
It's Bernay, not Bernie.
729
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:29,209
Lady-love...
730
00:47:29,429 --> 00:47:31,715
your skin is as soft as a rose petal.
731
00:47:34,262 --> 00:47:34,961
Hubert!
732
00:47:40,179 --> 00:47:41,720
How exciting to touch you...
733
00:47:41,929 --> 00:47:43,007
to lay beside you.
734
00:47:43,221 --> 00:47:45,212
Who does he want to lay?
735
00:47:50,054 --> 00:47:53,088
Jean-Pierre, you're totally on time.
Let's clean up.
736
00:47:54,346 --> 00:47:55,673
what were you up to?
737
00:47:55,888 --> 00:47:57,215
You're kissing cousins!
738
00:47:57,430 --> 00:47:58,673
- Not at all!
- sorry!
739
00:48:21,764 --> 00:48:22,842
He'll take him.
740
00:48:23,097 --> 00:48:24,092
He's too bad off.
741
00:48:24,597 --> 00:48:25,378
Hello?
742
00:48:25,597 --> 00:48:26,794
What the shit?
743
00:48:27,639 --> 00:48:28,338
shit.
744
00:48:28,681 --> 00:48:31,004
Hello, Jean-Pierre?
ls that Jean-Pierre?
745
00:48:35,181 --> 00:48:36,093
What the hell?
746
00:48:38,139 --> 00:48:39,383
You were sweethearts.
747
00:48:39,598 --> 00:48:42,051
Not at all. He was much older!
748
00:48:42,264 --> 00:48:44,385
You won't admit
you were flirting.
749
00:48:44,598 --> 00:48:48,592
Jean-Pierre, control yourself!
What you're saying is totally offensive.
750
00:48:49,015 --> 00:48:50,507
Is this my castle?
751
00:48:50,723 --> 00:48:51,469
Yes it is.
752
00:48:51,681 --> 00:48:53,802
Where's my watch-tower? My moat?
753
00:48:54,015 --> 00:48:55,389
My draw-bridge?
754
00:48:55,765 --> 00:48:57,969
Is my dungeon intact?
755
00:48:58,223 --> 00:49:00,510
He doesn't even recognize
your castle.
756
00:49:00,723 --> 00:49:03,294
Hub, it was rebuilt
after the Revolution.
757
00:49:03,515 --> 00:49:04,296
The what?
758
00:49:04,723 --> 00:49:05,837
Christ Almighty.
759
00:49:06,265 --> 00:49:08,670
I must go in my dungeon.
760
00:49:09,432 --> 00:49:11,718
Relax. You're hysterical, Hub.
761
00:49:11,932 --> 00:49:14,599
We'll go tomorrow.
But the dungeon is a legend.
762
00:49:14,807 --> 00:49:17,130
Father aIways thought one existed...
763
00:49:17,349 --> 00:49:19,470
but we never found it.
764
00:49:26,141 --> 00:49:28,048
It's like someone imitating a dog.
765
00:49:28,932 --> 00:49:30,674
Listen. It's strange.
766
00:49:36,391 --> 00:49:37,765
I don't hear a thing.
767
00:49:37,974 --> 00:49:38,673
President Bernay.
768
00:49:46,850 --> 00:49:48,508
Now he's gone too far!
769
00:49:48,725 --> 00:49:51,260
He better not have woken
Florian and Ondine.
770
00:49:53,641 --> 00:49:57,089
No! Bea! He burnt
your umbrell-Ahhhhh!
771
00:49:58,017 --> 00:49:58,929
Umbrella.
772
00:49:59,225 --> 00:50:00,504
In the hole.
773
00:50:00,892 --> 00:50:02,005
These eardrops sting.
774
00:50:02,225 --> 00:50:04,132
The dog never complained.
775
00:50:04,850 --> 00:50:07,386
If President Bernay has lost...
776
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,219
just one percent of his hearing,
777
00:50:10,642 --> 00:50:13,012
We'll sue the pants off you.
778
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:14,927
I've gone deaf.
779
00:50:15,517 --> 00:50:19,013
I'm a little confused...
You're a race car driver?
780
00:50:19,934 --> 00:50:22,422
A boxer? A stuntman?
781
00:50:22,767 --> 00:50:23,964
A movie actor?
782
00:50:26,267 --> 00:50:28,305
Who's the star of the movie?
783
00:50:28,517 --> 00:50:30,473
Do I know him? And the director?
784
00:50:32,143 --> 00:50:35,010
stop the interrogation.
You're exhausting them.
785
00:50:35,226 --> 00:50:36,884
Can't we talk?
786
00:50:37,226 --> 00:50:38,139
Am I boring you?
787
00:50:38,809 --> 00:50:39,674
Ay, indeed.
788
00:50:39,934 --> 00:50:40,716
Charming.
789
00:50:40,934 --> 00:50:41,716
You see.
790
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:43,803
Will this last long?
791
00:50:44,018 --> 00:50:44,966
Day...
792
00:50:45,185 --> 00:50:46,097
Night...
793
00:50:52,101 --> 00:50:55,053
Please, Mr. Kass,
that's becoming rather grating.
794
00:50:55,435 --> 00:50:57,888
Can't he join us?
It's embarrassing.
795
00:50:58,102 --> 00:50:59,974
He ne'er eats amid nobility.
796
00:51:00,185 --> 00:51:02,472
He is happy to munch
our left-o'ers.
797
00:51:02,685 --> 00:51:03,680
Here, boy.
798
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:05,559
Thank you, sire Hubert!
799
00:51:05,769 --> 00:51:08,222
He's mashing potatoes into the rug!
800
00:51:08,435 --> 00:51:10,225
Enough! Come sit here.
801
00:51:10,435 --> 00:51:12,722
That would upset him,
right Jacquasse?
802
00:51:12,935 --> 00:51:14,263
You want to sit here?
803
00:51:14,477 --> 00:51:16,302
No, sire Hubert.
804
00:51:16,519 --> 00:51:18,972
In my house, we all eat together.
805
00:51:19,186 --> 00:51:20,726
Nay! Nay!
806
00:51:20,936 --> 00:51:21,966
Obey, peasant.
807
00:51:22,186 --> 00:51:23,347
Your host insists.
808
00:51:23,644 --> 00:51:24,806
It'll be cozier.
809
00:51:27,311 --> 00:51:28,140
There.
810
00:51:30,519 --> 00:51:32,391
My sweet and pretty youngling...
811
00:51:32,853 --> 00:51:34,096
Yes, dear cousin?
812
00:51:34,311 --> 00:51:36,101
If you live in this poor abode,
813
00:51:36,311 --> 00:51:37,768
Who owns our castle?
814
00:51:38,811 --> 00:51:40,683
Jacques-Henri Jacquart. He's...
815
00:51:41,436 --> 00:51:43,593
rather nouveau riche
and a bit affected.
816
00:51:43,811 --> 00:51:48,220
- His family farmed our land.
- A peasant owns our castle?
817
00:51:49,353 --> 00:51:51,261
- A peasant!
- What peasant?
818
00:51:51,645 --> 00:51:53,102
Please! Jean-Pierre
is a peasant too.
819
00:51:53,312 --> 00:51:55,053
And he's a good husband.
820
00:51:55,270 --> 00:51:56,384
He's a peasant? Pugh!
821
00:52:00,687 --> 00:52:01,635
I lost my appetite.
822
00:52:02,479 --> 00:52:03,806
This is too much!
823
00:52:04,020 --> 00:52:05,643
I feel like throwing up.
824
00:52:05,854 --> 00:52:06,848
Did you hear that?
825
00:52:08,062 --> 00:52:08,927
Hear what?
826
00:52:10,270 --> 00:52:13,766
Now he's spitting on me.
Or didn't you notice?
827
00:52:14,021 --> 00:52:15,099
Excuse the oaf.
828
00:52:15,312 --> 00:52:18,595
He is saddened to hear
that a peasant owns my castle.
829
00:52:18,812 --> 00:52:19,476
But why?
830
00:52:19,687 --> 00:52:21,429
My sweet, radiant youngling...
831
00:52:21,646 --> 00:52:23,850
I shall right this horrible wrong.
832
00:52:24,313 --> 00:52:27,643
Jacquart shall render the castle
in exchange for crowns.
833
00:52:27,896 --> 00:52:29,768
If he refuses,
I'll disembowel him.
834
00:52:29,979 --> 00:52:34,352
We'll rip off his stalk
Like we did the Duke of York
835
00:52:35,105 --> 00:52:38,470
We hacked him up
Amid his shrieks and howIs.
836
00:52:38,688 --> 00:52:40,595
We hung him up...
837
00:52:40,896 --> 00:52:43,599
alongside his bloody boweIs.
838
00:52:47,313 --> 00:52:48,889
Bring in the hens.
I'm starved.
839
00:52:49,105 --> 00:52:49,934
Hang who?
840
00:52:50,147 --> 00:52:50,892
Jacquart the Peasant.
841
00:52:51,105 --> 00:52:52,479
Bring the roasted lamb...
842
00:52:52,688 --> 00:52:54,430
the sausage and the beans...
843
00:52:54,647 --> 00:52:55,642
the venison...
844
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:59,099
Let us feast
to forget this injustice!
845
00:52:59,355 --> 00:53:01,429
Bring in kidney beans and kidneys.
846
00:53:01,647 --> 00:53:03,602
A piglet and a roasted goat.
847
00:53:03,814 --> 00:53:06,053
Well-peppered white swans.
848
00:53:06,272 --> 00:53:08,144
Your whets have
given me appetite.
849
00:53:08,356 --> 00:53:10,014
You just stuffed your faces!
850
00:53:10,939 --> 00:53:12,136
What's this puddle?
851
00:53:13,564 --> 00:53:15,471
The room is totally flooded!
852
00:53:17,022 --> 00:53:19,227
What happened?
853
00:53:22,314 --> 00:53:25,147
They didn't turn off the Water!
They're deranged!
854
00:53:25,356 --> 00:53:27,228
They can't shut off the tap!
855
00:53:27,439 --> 00:53:29,181
send them to the nut house!
856
00:53:29,398 --> 00:53:30,559
Jacquasse, spongeth!
857
00:53:30,773 --> 00:53:31,472
Yes, sire!
858
00:53:35,648 --> 00:53:36,347
Who is that?
859
00:53:39,356 --> 00:53:42,971
Mr. Kass! Not with your poncho!
I'll get some rags.
860
00:53:43,273 --> 00:53:44,221
What is it now?
861
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,272
sorry to pop in, but
President Bernay can't cope.
862
00:53:47,482 --> 00:53:48,394
God knows how,
863
00:53:48,607 --> 00:53:52,517
When Edgar took the phone,
a foghorn sounded in his ear.
864
00:53:52,732 --> 00:53:53,727
I'm not an ENT.
865
00:53:53,940 --> 00:53:56,263
But it aggravated his toothache.
866
00:53:56,482 --> 00:53:57,430
Irts trrowwwing.
867
00:53:57,649 --> 00:53:58,679
It's throbbing.
868
00:53:58,899 --> 00:54:00,012
Open your mouth.
869
00:54:00,649 --> 00:54:02,556
How repulsive!
Wait here.
870
00:54:03,065 --> 00:54:04,937
I'm going to fix
Bernaise's tooth.
871
00:54:05,149 --> 00:54:06,938
It's Bernay. Edgar Bernay.
872
00:54:07,149 --> 00:54:09,435
His abscess is incredibly ugly.
873
00:54:09,732 --> 00:54:11,522
We'll be in my office.
874
00:54:11,982 --> 00:54:14,980
Come on, come on! Everyone join in.
875
00:54:17,316 --> 00:54:20,847
Can raspberry sherbet cause
this type of infection?
876
00:54:21,149 --> 00:54:22,263
No idea.
877
00:54:22,899 --> 00:54:25,933
Bad timing, Jacquart.
We're in the middle of a flood.
878
00:54:26,149 --> 00:54:29,101
Did the sewer back up?
It smells god-awful.
879
00:54:29,316 --> 00:54:32,018
Be totally careful
not to knock the bucket over.
880
00:54:32,275 --> 00:54:34,265
Empty the bucket
and sponge hardily.
881
00:54:34,483 --> 00:54:36,438
Ay! Take this rag.
882
00:54:36,650 --> 00:54:39,813
He threw a filthy mop
on my linen jacket!
883
00:54:40,025 --> 00:54:42,809
Mr. Kass, be careful with
Mr. Jacquart's linen jacket.
884
00:54:44,275 --> 00:54:47,475
Mr. Jacquart, meet my cousin
Hubert, long-considered dead.
885
00:54:47,733 --> 00:54:48,681
My pleasure.
886
00:54:48,900 --> 00:54:50,690
My jacket is stained now.
887
00:54:50,900 --> 00:54:52,393
A Hartwood original.
888
00:54:56,984 --> 00:55:00,729
You're a less-bloated
look-alike of your ancestor,
889
00:55:00,942 --> 00:55:03,431
Godefroy the Hardy.
I have his portrait in the castle.
890
00:55:03,651 --> 00:55:04,729
Ay, 'tis l.
891
00:55:09,401 --> 00:55:10,858
Do I have a pimple?
892
00:55:11,526 --> 00:55:14,145
That nose... those slimy eyes.
893
00:55:14,651 --> 00:55:16,606
You're The Crass's descendant.
894
00:55:16,818 --> 00:55:17,730
The Crass? Please...
895
00:55:18,068 --> 00:55:20,023
What a disgrace!
896
00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:22,059
Here, boy. start a-mopping.
897
00:55:22,276 --> 00:55:23,224
Mr. Kass...
898
00:55:23,443 --> 00:55:25,848
Ieave Mr. Jacquart be.
It's not his flood.
899
00:55:27,943 --> 00:55:29,768
- Mr. Who?
- Jacquasse.
900
00:55:30,026 --> 00:55:32,266
What an ugly face!
901
00:55:33,276 --> 00:55:36,061
Your Jacquart is a traitor.
His real name is Jacquasse.
902
00:55:36,277 --> 00:55:38,516
I aIways knew Jacquart
as Jacquart.
903
00:55:44,110 --> 00:55:46,599
Unless he changed his name
to be more chic.
904
00:55:54,277 --> 00:55:58,057
Jacques-Henri, how long have
you had the name "Jacquart"?
905
00:55:58,527 --> 00:55:59,191
Why?
906
00:55:59,486 --> 00:56:03,977
Because you're
the spitting image of Mr. Kass...
907
00:56:04,194 --> 00:56:05,770
and your names are similar.
908
00:56:05,986 --> 00:56:09,019
I have nothing in common
with this gentleman.
909
00:56:09,236 --> 00:56:11,191
Just look at him.
910
00:56:15,694 --> 00:56:17,566
No relationship at all.
911
00:56:18,986 --> 00:56:21,901
I can't find my pouch
in this unholy mess.
912
00:56:22,153 --> 00:56:25,317
Dr. Goulard is a genius.
The abscess is... Oh my! ...
913
00:56:25,528 --> 00:56:28,195
drained.
The President is back in form.
914
00:56:29,361 --> 00:56:30,771
Mr. Jacquart, is this...
915
00:56:30,986 --> 00:56:32,858
- your brother?
- He's not my brother!
916
00:56:33,070 --> 00:56:34,018
I'm Jacquasse The Crass.
917
00:56:34,237 --> 00:56:35,978
sorry, but it's getting late.
918
00:56:36,403 --> 00:56:38,477
I understand. Let's go.
919
00:56:38,737 --> 00:56:40,064
Thank you.
920
00:56:40,695 --> 00:56:41,524
One minute, jester.
921
00:56:43,112 --> 00:56:45,600
Let's make a deal.
I'll buy back the castle.
922
00:56:49,695 --> 00:56:50,477
Take this, peasant.
923
00:56:51,195 --> 00:56:52,143
A down payment.
924
00:56:52,362 --> 00:56:55,692
Jacquart, take care of this.
We'll be in the car.
925
00:56:56,779 --> 00:56:57,691
I'm coming.
926
00:56:58,029 --> 00:56:59,735
My castle is not for sale,
927
00:56:59,946 --> 00:57:00,976
I own it, Count.
928
00:57:01,196 --> 00:57:02,226
Old gold coins?
929
00:57:02,737 --> 00:57:04,894
I have 5 chests full,
and 1 0 of jewels.
930
00:57:05,112 --> 00:57:07,648
This upstart peasant
can't stop me from buying it.
931
00:57:07,863 --> 00:57:10,529
He's got nerve!
This is a fucking democracy.
932
00:57:11,238 --> 00:57:12,019
What's "fucking"?
933
00:57:13,029 --> 00:57:16,276
Jacquart, you've gone overboard.
That was vulgar.
934
00:57:16,488 --> 00:57:20,268
What nerve! I take care
of your Mr. Barbie for a modest fee,
935
00:57:20,488 --> 00:57:24,019
and you humiliate our houseguest.
Apologize!
936
00:57:24,238 --> 00:57:26,727
Who does the hygienist think she is?
937
00:57:28,905 --> 00:57:31,654
shameless liar!
lf you're proud of your family,
938
00:57:31,863 --> 00:57:33,486
Why change your name?
939
00:57:33,697 --> 00:57:35,438
What is the heinous secret?
940
00:57:35,655 --> 00:57:39,696
An ogre? A witch? A child-slayer?
941
00:57:39,905 --> 00:57:41,777
Hands off, Nazi!
942
00:57:41,989 --> 00:57:45,319
If he can't understand why
Jacquart sounds better than Jacquasse,
943
00:57:45,530 --> 00:57:47,355
he should see a shrink.
944
00:57:48,780 --> 00:57:51,613
I don't get it.
You're Jacquart's brother?
945
00:57:52,572 --> 00:57:53,650
His brother?
946
00:57:54,739 --> 00:57:55,687
Were you serious
947
00:57:55,906 --> 00:57:57,398
about buying back the castle?
948
00:57:57,697 --> 00:57:59,356
A gift for you, my youngling.
949
00:58:00,114 --> 00:58:01,062
I'm tired.
950
00:58:01,281 --> 00:58:02,690
That's right. Bedtime!
951
00:58:04,031 --> 00:58:06,235
How about some herbal tea, Hub?
952
00:58:07,781 --> 00:58:09,108
Amnesia...
953
00:58:10,031 --> 00:58:11,405
Cousin Hubert.
954
00:58:11,614 --> 00:58:14,399
The new sire of the castle
is a Jacquasse?
955
00:58:14,990 --> 00:58:19,315
My God, how can that be?
Peasants have become sires.
956
00:58:20,198 --> 00:58:21,607
Let us pray.
957
00:58:27,907 --> 00:58:29,281
Jacquasse!
958
00:58:45,324 --> 00:58:46,023
Beatrice!
959
00:58:46,615 --> 00:58:48,322
They're praying now!
960
00:58:54,491 --> 00:58:56,316
Don't scream. Let them pray.
961
00:58:56,616 --> 00:58:57,315
Mommy...
962
00:58:57,532 --> 00:58:59,737
There are bums in the living room.
963
00:58:59,949 --> 00:59:01,608
Now they've woken the kids.
964
00:59:03,824 --> 00:59:05,104
The lineage!
965
00:59:14,658 --> 00:59:16,898
Your brother is
the Count of Montmirail's valet?
966
00:59:17,116 --> 00:59:17,946
I have no brother!
967
00:59:18,616 --> 00:59:19,398
Older or younger?
968
00:59:19,616 --> 00:59:21,275
We're not brothers!
969
00:59:21,491 --> 00:59:22,321
I'm an only son.
970
00:59:22,533 --> 00:59:24,488
We don't have the same name!
971
00:59:24,992 --> 00:59:26,319
He smells awful.
972
00:59:26,742 --> 00:59:29,147
still, it was smart
to change your name.
973
00:59:29,367 --> 00:59:31,772
I once had a friend
named Francois Twat.
974
00:59:31,992 --> 00:59:34,445
He changed it to watt.
It changed his life.
975
00:59:34,659 --> 00:59:36,898
Jacquasse is just too much!
976
00:59:37,117 --> 00:59:38,065
I'll say.
977
00:59:38,284 --> 00:59:41,696
sorry, my name is not
Jacques Asse, but Jacquart.
978
00:59:41,992 --> 00:59:43,864
They're ugly.
They stink. Gross!
979
00:59:44,075 --> 00:59:45,817
Cousin Hubert is not a burglar.
980
00:59:46,034 --> 00:59:48,320
His friend is not a smelly witch.
981
00:59:48,784 --> 00:59:51,486
Cousin Hubert and Mr. Kass,
let the children see you.
982
00:59:52,701 --> 00:59:54,324
Nighty night, kidlings.
983
00:59:59,659 --> 01:00:02,361
Don't stand there!
You'll scare them to death!
984
01:00:05,326 --> 01:00:06,819
You scared them, Jean-Pierre.
985
01:00:07,034 --> 01:00:07,899
Come on.
986
01:00:08,201 --> 01:00:10,606
Lather up well. Especially your feet.
987
01:00:11,285 --> 01:00:14,318
soap and bath salt.
Help yourself... please.
988
01:00:15,076 --> 01:00:16,071
I'll leave you.
989
01:00:17,118 --> 01:00:18,990
- What's wrong with our feet?
- I don't know.
990
01:00:19,202 --> 01:00:21,276
Another peasant ruse, no doubt.
991
01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:23,487
It boil'st.
992
01:00:25,952 --> 01:00:26,982
The ointments.
993
01:00:56,536 --> 01:00:58,077
Jacquasse, scrub me.
994
01:00:58,703 --> 01:00:59,532
strange brush.
995
01:01:00,411 --> 01:01:01,359
It'll do fine.
996
01:01:05,286 --> 01:01:06,316
How is it going?
997
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:08,945
I have finished my ablutions.
998
01:01:10,411 --> 01:01:11,525
Your turn.
999
01:01:11,745 --> 01:01:13,617
Nay, sire. I bathed last month
1000
01:01:13,828 --> 01:01:15,025
in the river.
1001
01:01:15,703 --> 01:01:17,575
I said it's your turn.
1002
01:01:17,787 --> 01:01:18,651
It boil'st!
1003
01:01:18,870 --> 01:01:20,327
What are they up to?
1004
01:01:20,537 --> 01:01:22,029
Why the uproar?
1005
01:01:22,912 --> 01:01:25,033
My Jacquasse is a-scrubbing.
1006
01:01:25,245 --> 01:01:27,568
I'll dry off in the chimney corner.
1007
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:35,823
The entire bottle!
6000 francs down the drain!
1008
01:01:36,662 --> 01:01:38,321
Don't pull the plug!
1009
01:01:38,704 --> 01:01:41,572
I shall miss thee, lady-love
1010
01:01:42,662 --> 01:01:47,948
WhiIst I fight in the Crusades
1011
01:01:48,871 --> 01:01:53,493
Leaving you behind, turtle-dove
1012
01:01:54,954 --> 01:02:00,702
Darkens my heart, 'fore I fight
1013
01:02:03,371 --> 01:02:06,322
I can't stand it any more.
1014
01:02:06,663 --> 01:02:07,693
Take a valium.
1015
01:02:09,830 --> 01:02:10,694
sire,
1016
01:02:11,705 --> 01:02:14,158
Jacquart... Is he
my great great grandson?
1017
01:02:14,913 --> 01:02:15,861
Yes, my Jacquasse.
1018
01:02:16,372 --> 01:02:18,528
Poor you. Let's sleep.
1019
01:02:21,788 --> 01:02:23,578
It's mushy like porridge.
1020
01:02:32,414 --> 01:02:33,444
What now?
1021
01:02:33,664 --> 01:02:37,527
Beatrice, tell me about
the kingdom since Louis the Fat.
1022
01:02:38,206 --> 01:02:40,078
Now?
Are you kidding?
1023
01:02:40,289 --> 01:02:41,202
Jean-Pierre!
1024
01:02:44,664 --> 01:02:47,153
This is an evil book.
I like it not.
1025
01:02:47,373 --> 01:02:49,363
It's the encyclopedia.
It has everything.
1026
01:02:49,664 --> 01:02:52,995
Nothing on Godefroy de Montmirail,
When he saved our King,
1027
01:02:53,206 --> 01:02:54,747
during the Battle of Monthlery?
1028
01:02:54,956 --> 01:02:56,532
Not a word.
1029
01:02:56,748 --> 01:02:57,411
Really?
1030
01:02:57,623 --> 01:03:00,574
But his courage is renown
from Poitou to savoie.
1031
01:03:00,790 --> 01:03:03,539
Godefroy the Hardy,
Louis the Fat... no one cares.
1032
01:03:04,373 --> 01:03:07,122
Our most famous family member
is Gonzague de Montmirail.
1033
01:03:07,331 --> 01:03:09,405
Born in 1 754. Remember?
1034
01:03:09,623 --> 01:03:10,369
No.
1035
01:03:10,582 --> 01:03:12,821
He fought the Revolution
against the rich,
1036
01:03:13,582 --> 01:03:15,905
so they'd share their land
With the peasants.
1037
01:03:16,123 --> 01:03:16,822
What?
1038
01:03:17,040 --> 01:03:19,872
He helped create
the Republic with La Fayette.
1039
01:03:20,082 --> 01:03:22,487
But he wasn't rewarded for his courage.
1040
01:03:22,707 --> 01:03:24,497
Robespierre had him decapitated.
1041
01:03:25,207 --> 01:03:27,660
A fine man, this Robespierre.
1042
01:03:28,582 --> 01:03:30,075
Why do you say that?
1043
01:03:32,207 --> 01:03:34,494
Why is Mr. Kass spying on us?
1044
01:03:34,707 --> 01:03:35,904
What infamy, my Jacquasse.
1045
01:03:36,124 --> 01:03:40,414
Peasants no longer pay taxes.
No more tallage, nor tithers.
1046
01:03:41,374 --> 01:03:43,779
How unfair.
We must return home.
1047
01:03:45,583 --> 01:03:47,324
What's that on your finger?
1048
01:03:48,666 --> 01:03:49,863
It's my seal.
1049
01:03:50,083 --> 01:03:51,540
Your seal?
1050
01:03:52,083 --> 01:03:54,867
It's The Hardy Ring!
You stole it from the castle?
1051
01:03:55,375 --> 01:03:58,989
Call the police. Or Jacquart
may think we're accomplices.
1052
01:03:59,208 --> 01:04:01,613
spare me. I'll return the ring.
1053
01:04:01,833 --> 01:04:05,080
Jacquart will understand
that Hubert is mentally ill.
1054
01:04:05,875 --> 01:04:08,743
Mentally ill.
Lock him up,
1055
01:04:08,958 --> 01:04:10,499
if he's mentally ill!
1056
01:04:11,500 --> 01:04:12,281
Where is Mr. Kass?
1057
01:04:12,708 --> 01:04:13,372
Out there.
1058
01:04:14,375 --> 01:04:16,662
What ripe apples, fair Ginette!
1059
01:04:16,875 --> 01:04:20,158
Come on, no feelies, stud.
1060
01:04:20,375 --> 01:04:23,871
see 'ya. My groupies
are getting impatient.
1061
01:04:24,792 --> 01:04:26,747
Here I come, fans.
1062
01:04:29,667 --> 01:04:30,781
Come on, Mr. Kass.
1063
01:04:47,543 --> 01:04:50,457
Ladies and Gents... for the artiste.
1064
01:04:50,668 --> 01:04:52,540
Ladies and Gents...
1065
01:04:57,626 --> 01:04:59,285
This is incredible!
1066
01:04:59,501 --> 01:05:02,832
A minute ago it was gorgeous.
Now it's raining cats and dogs.
1067
01:05:03,460 --> 01:05:06,031
I am angered that
you think me a bandit.
1068
01:05:06,252 --> 01:05:08,538
I never said "bandit".
Don't exaggerate.
1069
01:05:08,752 --> 01:05:11,833
This ring is mine. A siIversmith
made it for me in Flanders.
1070
01:05:12,043 --> 01:05:13,122
It cost me 1 00 ducats.
1071
01:05:13,335 --> 01:05:17,744
That's impossible, Hub.
Father sold that ring with the castle.
1072
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:19,619
It can't be here and there!
1073
01:05:26,336 --> 01:05:29,832
President Bernay cannot give
his speech in that ruckus.
1074
01:05:30,044 --> 01:05:33,161
There's an old ring
sizzling in a glass case.
1075
01:05:33,377 --> 01:05:35,996
An old ring sizzling in a case?
What next?
1076
01:05:38,919 --> 01:05:42,367
Look! How can we concentrate
on the prospecting?
1077
01:05:42,586 --> 01:05:43,995
It's the Hardy Ring!
1078
01:05:47,128 --> 01:05:50,161
Don't just stand there!
Get a fire extinguisher!
1079
01:05:59,462 --> 01:06:00,741
Make way!
1080
01:06:02,962 --> 01:06:04,787
Open the case!
1081
01:06:06,753 --> 01:06:08,661
It's burning!
1082
01:06:11,462 --> 01:06:12,659
It's broken.
1083
01:06:12,879 --> 01:06:13,957
What an ass!
1084
01:06:14,962 --> 01:06:17,166
What an ass! I'm blind!
1085
01:06:21,712 --> 01:06:22,625
Hold this.
1086
01:06:24,837 --> 01:06:25,832
This is crazy!
1087
01:06:26,046 --> 01:06:28,997
It's pitch black outside!
This is unreal!
1088
01:06:32,379 --> 01:06:34,334
It's hailing now.
1089
01:06:34,546 --> 01:06:36,951
Cheer up, Hub.
We'll return the Hardy Ring.
1090
01:06:37,171 --> 01:06:38,545
All will be forgotten.
1091
01:06:38,754 --> 01:06:40,544
He's The Hardy!
1092
01:06:41,171 --> 01:06:44,619
Mr. Kass, sit back. Did you eat
old goat cheese for breakfast?
1093
01:06:45,755 --> 01:06:48,243
sorry to be blunt,
but I can't open the window.
1094
01:06:48,463 --> 01:06:50,169
stay back there, please.
1095
01:06:51,296 --> 01:06:53,583
The closer we get,
the darker it gets.
1096
01:06:56,130 --> 01:06:57,788
It works. Easy as pie.
1097
01:06:58,005 --> 01:07:00,494
He's a stupid ass.
1098
01:07:02,130 --> 01:07:03,160
Go ahead.
1099
01:07:03,713 --> 01:07:06,202
This extinguisher
Wouldn't put out a match.
1100
01:07:08,214 --> 01:07:10,039
Get out of here, honey!
1101
01:07:11,089 --> 01:07:11,835
It's going to explode!
1102
01:07:13,172 --> 01:07:14,629
What now?
1103
01:07:14,839 --> 01:07:16,794
You have ants in your pants?
1104
01:07:17,047 --> 01:07:19,666
The ring is a-fire!
It's devil work!
1105
01:07:23,297 --> 01:07:25,335
It fell under the seat.
1106
01:07:29,548 --> 01:07:31,088
stop the chariot, girl!
1107
01:07:39,589 --> 01:07:41,545
Help! Call the Fire Department.
1108
01:07:41,756 --> 01:07:45,667
Perfect timing, Jacquart. Hubert
has the Hardy ring, God knows how.
1109
01:07:45,881 --> 01:07:47,125
He brought it back.
1110
01:07:47,340 --> 01:07:49,959
The Hardy ring is here!
It's on fire!
1111
01:07:50,923 --> 01:07:52,416
My seal's a-fire!
1112
01:07:57,090 --> 01:07:59,839
How can it be up there?
It's down here.
1113
01:08:00,048 --> 01:08:01,422
Leave me alone!
1114
01:08:01,632 --> 01:08:04,167
- 'Tis sizzling and boiling.
- 'Tis hissing!
1115
01:08:07,257 --> 01:08:08,252
What are you doing?
1116
01:08:12,882 --> 01:08:14,126
Did you see lightning?
1117
01:08:14,341 --> 01:08:16,911
Wait a sec.
My roof looks like a cauliflower.
1118
01:08:22,674 --> 01:08:24,001
The lightning!
1119
01:08:27,174 --> 01:08:30,089
My Range! Godammit!
1120
01:08:33,091 --> 01:08:34,169
What happened?
1121
01:08:34,383 --> 01:08:37,464
It's incredible. It's nice out again.
Just unbelievable.
1122
01:08:37,675 --> 01:08:41,620
Jacquasse, look how they
changed our beautiful castle!
1123
01:08:41,841 --> 01:08:43,998
Windows galore! We're defenseless!
1124
01:08:44,466 --> 01:08:45,924
A godsend
for the visigoths.
1125
01:08:46,216 --> 01:08:46,962
And the Huttes.
1126
01:08:47,175 --> 01:08:49,082
Pray the dungeon is intact.
1127
01:08:49,550 --> 01:08:50,924
This weather is amazing.
1128
01:08:51,133 --> 01:08:52,507
I don't give a damn.
1129
01:08:55,133 --> 01:08:58,795
My Range! Dammit!
A brand new car with all the extras!
1130
01:08:59,800 --> 01:09:03,047
Look! It's ruined!
It's completely ruined!
1131
01:09:08,425 --> 01:09:09,338
Jacquart!
1132
01:09:09,550 --> 01:09:10,924
There's no lightning rod?
1133
01:09:11,134 --> 01:09:12,792
That's unheard of!
1134
01:09:13,009 --> 01:09:15,414
The explosion
almost maimed the President.
1135
01:09:15,634 --> 01:09:16,712
No one was hurt?
1136
01:09:16,926 --> 01:09:19,165
No, thank God.
Just a car.
1137
01:09:19,384 --> 01:09:21,209
Thank God?
Thanks a lot!
1138
01:09:22,093 --> 01:09:22,791
My limo?
1139
01:09:23,009 --> 01:09:25,960
No, not your limo.
My new Range.
1140
01:09:26,176 --> 01:09:29,376
Don't lie. I can see from here.
The hood is burnt.
1141
01:09:29,593 --> 01:09:32,425
It's not burnt. Not at all!
1142
01:09:32,634 --> 01:09:35,668
Not the roof!
The hood, you idiot!
1143
01:09:35,885 --> 01:09:36,584
I'm warning you:
1144
01:09:36,801 --> 01:09:39,503
if it's burnt,
We'll see you in court!
1145
01:09:39,718 --> 01:09:42,171
No, it's okay.
It's okay! Look!
1146
01:09:42,385 --> 01:09:43,380
Okkk ayyy!
1147
01:09:43,593 --> 01:09:46,591
I'm rubbing it.
I'm polishing it! Look!
1148
01:09:46,802 --> 01:09:49,125
It's so clean I can see myself!
1149
01:09:50,010 --> 01:09:51,254
Look!
1150
01:09:52,302 --> 01:09:53,499
It's okkk ayyy.
1151
01:09:54,552 --> 01:09:55,381
What's so funny?
1152
01:09:59,844 --> 01:10:02,332
Come, Jacquasse.
Let us go to my chamber.
1153
01:10:03,135 --> 01:10:05,091
...that hissing ring!
1154
01:10:05,302 --> 01:10:07,044
Give me Claims Division.
1155
01:10:09,761 --> 01:10:11,502
What kind of ring?
1156
01:10:11,719 --> 01:10:12,833
A signet ring.
1157
01:10:13,052 --> 01:10:15,422
You mean the Hardy ring
Was in its case?
1158
01:10:15,636 --> 01:10:16,880
I don't know.
1159
01:10:17,094 --> 01:10:18,338
Impossible.
1160
01:10:18,553 --> 01:10:19,500
Where the hell...
1161
01:10:20,136 --> 01:10:22,920
Jacqueline, where are you taking
these men?
1162
01:10:23,136 --> 01:10:24,463
To the Hardy suite.
1163
01:10:25,053 --> 01:10:27,506
Innkeeper,
We'll be here several nights.
1164
01:10:27,886 --> 01:10:30,339
You and your friend?
There's just one bed.
1165
01:10:30,553 --> 01:10:32,590
He'll sleep on a mat
in the halIway.
1166
01:10:32,803 --> 01:10:33,964
Not here, he won't.
1167
01:10:34,178 --> 01:10:35,457
In the stable, then.
1168
01:10:35,678 --> 01:10:38,629
Pity, sire! Not the stable.
I prefer the forest!
1169
01:10:38,845 --> 01:10:42,424
There is no stable. so pay
for the room or go to the forest.
1170
01:10:42,637 --> 01:10:46,417
You understand me, my boy.
You're a kind man.
1171
01:10:46,970 --> 01:10:48,712
Don't touch me.
1172
01:10:49,053 --> 01:10:50,250
I'm not a kind man.
1173
01:10:50,470 --> 01:10:52,128
I'm not your friend
or your brother.
1174
01:10:52,345 --> 01:10:53,803
so dream on!
1175
01:10:55,679 --> 01:10:57,669
You'd let your brother
sleep outside?
1176
01:10:57,887 --> 01:10:59,593
He's not my brother!
1177
01:10:59,845 --> 01:11:00,758
I never saw him!
1178
01:11:00,970 --> 01:11:03,459
so he can sleep
Where the hell he wants!
1179
01:11:04,054 --> 01:11:05,381
You're so obscene!
1180
01:11:05,596 --> 01:11:06,626
Excuse me, ma'am.
1181
01:11:06,846 --> 01:11:08,966
I'm taking
President Bernay his tea.
1182
01:11:09,179 --> 01:11:11,004
What the hell do I care?
1183
01:11:11,221 --> 01:11:12,299
And their deposit?
1184
01:11:12,596 --> 01:11:14,053
No, l...
1185
01:11:14,679 --> 01:11:16,800
You can't stay.
It's very pricey.
1186
01:11:17,096 --> 01:11:21,006
The Count of Montmirail
sleep'st at Montmirail.
1187
01:11:24,013 --> 01:11:25,470
Keep your rotten coins.
1188
01:11:26,721 --> 01:11:27,883
Outside, scuzzballs.
1189
01:11:29,096 --> 01:11:31,134
Relax, Jacques.
Put it on my visa.
1190
01:11:31,346 --> 01:11:34,546
If Hub feels at home here,
it may jog his memory.
1191
01:11:34,763 --> 01:11:35,676
It's worth trying.
1192
01:11:35,888 --> 01:11:39,668
Whatever you say. If you want
to pay top price, be my guest.
1193
01:11:39,888 --> 01:11:41,262
You want my picture?
1194
01:11:42,097 --> 01:11:44,715
Don't stand there.
show them to their room.
1195
01:11:45,222 --> 01:11:45,921
This way, Beatrice.
1196
01:11:48,597 --> 01:11:53,171
sparks are flying!
The boss is angry at his brother.
1197
01:11:53,389 --> 01:11:55,178
This is the Godefroy Hardy suite.
1198
01:11:55,389 --> 01:11:57,130
The 10th century chimney is...
1199
01:11:57,347 --> 01:11:59,005
a vestige of the watch-tower.
1200
01:11:59,222 --> 01:12:01,343
Zounds! It's different!
1201
01:12:01,556 --> 01:12:02,717
Excuse me?
1202
01:12:02,931 --> 01:12:03,925
Leave us, wretch.
1203
01:12:05,056 --> 01:12:05,801
What?
1204
01:12:06,764 --> 01:12:08,138
The Book of spells.
1205
01:12:11,264 --> 01:12:14,179
Holy scrotums!
You look drunk as a skunk!
1206
01:12:14,431 --> 01:12:16,007
Is that me?
1207
01:12:16,223 --> 01:12:17,597
That's an old fool!
1208
01:12:22,806 --> 01:12:24,133
Who's this monster?
1209
01:12:28,348 --> 01:12:29,889
Gonzague de Montmirail.
1210
01:12:30,098 --> 01:12:31,923
The Count Who helped the peasants?
1211
01:12:32,140 --> 01:12:33,301
A foul creature.
1212
01:12:33,515 --> 01:12:35,920
Nay, a saintly man.
1213
01:12:36,932 --> 01:12:38,555
Come.
1214
01:12:52,890 --> 01:12:54,170
what are you doing?
1215
01:13:02,182 --> 01:13:03,640
Jean-Pierre, don't scream.
1216
01:13:03,849 --> 01:13:04,548
I'm not screaming.
1217
01:13:04,766 --> 01:13:06,591
It's expensive, but it's for Hub.
1218
01:13:06,807 --> 01:13:10,671
Two rooms at 2600, plus the suite
at 3600, comes to 6200 francs a day.
1219
01:13:10,891 --> 01:13:11,839
Breakfast included.
1220
01:13:12,058 --> 01:13:12,970
How much?
1221
01:13:13,183 --> 01:13:15,090
Why three rooms?
1222
01:13:15,308 --> 01:13:16,717
I can't leave him.
1223
01:13:16,933 --> 01:13:17,548
Ridiculous!
1224
01:13:17,766 --> 01:13:19,176
so I took a third room.
1225
01:13:19,391 --> 01:13:20,172
You're staying?
1226
01:13:20,391 --> 01:13:22,181
Hurry. I have other things to do.
1227
01:13:22,391 --> 01:13:25,342
- Bea, you can't do this.
- Okay, toodle-oo.
1228
01:13:33,558 --> 01:13:34,968
The torches are rotten.
1229
01:13:35,183 --> 01:13:36,427
sire, I'm scared.
1230
01:13:38,350 --> 01:13:39,298
What are you doing?
1231
01:13:39,517 --> 01:13:44,055
They called me a wretch
and threw me out. Then I heard a noise.
1232
01:13:44,309 --> 01:13:46,762
Open this door immediately!
1233
01:13:46,975 --> 01:13:48,385
Hub!
1234
01:13:53,976 --> 01:13:55,717
Cousin Hubert!
1235
01:13:56,309 --> 01:13:58,051
Mr. Kass!
1236
01:13:58,267 --> 01:14:00,472
They lit a fire!
There's soot everywhere.
1237
01:14:00,851 --> 01:14:02,806
You'll pay the dry cleaner!
1238
01:14:05,809 --> 01:14:06,804
They're not here.
1239
01:14:07,018 --> 01:14:08,297
Jacqueline, did they leave?
1240
01:14:08,518 --> 01:14:11,136
No, sir. I swear.
1241
01:14:11,351 --> 01:14:12,892
Don't start blubbering.
1242
01:14:13,101 --> 01:14:14,014
That won't help.
1243
01:14:14,601 --> 01:14:16,307
His friend's room.
1244
01:14:25,560 --> 01:14:27,017
Where did you come from?
1245
01:14:27,226 --> 01:14:28,849
Hub, what happened to you?
1246
01:14:29,060 --> 01:14:29,889
I need a torch.
1247
01:14:30,102 --> 01:14:32,139
Why were you hiding
in the chimney?
1248
01:14:32,352 --> 01:14:33,382
The Book of...
1249
01:14:33,602 --> 01:14:35,972
We were here. Just visiting.
1250
01:14:36,310 --> 01:14:38,929
visiting.... You were
visiting the chimney?
1251
01:14:39,144 --> 01:14:43,635
We wanted a fire. A soot ball
was blocking the flue. so Jacquasse,
1252
01:14:43,852 --> 01:14:45,807
climbed on my shoulder.
1253
01:14:46,019 --> 01:14:47,760
I started climbing up...
1254
01:14:47,977 --> 01:14:49,719
And we slipped.
1255
01:14:49,935 --> 01:14:50,551
Everything fell.
1256
01:14:50,769 --> 01:14:54,430
No need to explain, Hub.
At 6200 francs a night,
1257
01:14:54,644 --> 01:14:56,884
We can expect
the chimney to be swept.
1258
01:14:57,102 --> 01:15:00,017
There was no soot ball!
1259
01:15:00,644 --> 01:15:02,185
There's nothing!
1260
01:15:05,519 --> 01:15:07,344
Come on.
1261
01:15:09,561 --> 01:15:12,843
Jacqueline, call the roofer.
Tell him I refuse to pay the bill.
1262
01:15:13,061 --> 01:15:14,969
Not if he leaves soot balls!
1263
01:15:15,186 --> 01:15:17,473
Hub, you've got
some explaining to do.
1264
01:15:17,895 --> 01:15:21,640
I am not Cousin Hubert.
I am Godefroy The Hardy.
1265
01:15:21,853 --> 01:15:24,602
I was born
in the year of our Lord 1 079.
1266
01:15:24,812 --> 01:15:28,556
I'm Jacquasse The Crass, his vassal.
I know not my date of birth.
1267
01:15:28,770 --> 01:15:33,925
You're Godefroy, he's Joan of Arc,
and I'm the Queen of England. Okay?
1268
01:15:34,312 --> 01:15:34,975
Okkk ayyy!
1269
01:15:35,187 --> 01:15:36,135
This is the Hardy.
1270
01:15:36,354 --> 01:15:39,352
Despite a vague resemblance,
he was a fat, hairy macho
1271
01:15:39,562 --> 01:15:43,058
Who must have had
chronic halitosis... You know...
1272
01:15:43,687 --> 01:15:45,393
Okkk ayyy!
1273
01:15:45,604 --> 01:15:47,725
what are you doing here?
1274
01:15:47,937 --> 01:15:51,385
I asked for a torch.
Make haste!
1275
01:15:53,104 --> 01:15:55,225
Hubert, stop telling
tall tales.
1276
01:15:55,854 --> 01:15:58,603
And what, pray tell, is this?
1277
01:15:59,229 --> 01:16:00,805
Mere trickery?
1278
01:16:01,229 --> 01:16:02,142
Hub!
1279
01:16:03,188 --> 01:16:05,013
You knew where the dungeon was?
1280
01:16:05,229 --> 01:16:07,434
Maybe we'll find
the Montmirail treasure.
1281
01:16:09,730 --> 01:16:11,187
It's pitch black.
1282
01:16:11,396 --> 01:16:14,264
I'll get my flashlight.
stay put.
1283
01:16:33,189 --> 01:16:33,970
Yes?
1284
01:16:34,189 --> 01:16:35,302
The torches died.
1285
01:16:36,564 --> 01:16:37,476
Can I help you?
1286
01:16:41,647 --> 01:16:43,602
what on earth happened here?
1287
01:16:45,147 --> 01:16:47,055
who is responsible for this?
1288
01:16:47,272 --> 01:16:48,848
'Tis a piece o' rubbish!
1289
01:16:49,064 --> 01:16:50,438
You can say that again.
1290
01:16:50,731 --> 01:16:54,559
If your brother sees this,
it won't be a picnic.
1291
01:16:54,773 --> 01:16:56,395
Cousin Hubert needs a torch.
1292
01:16:56,606 --> 01:16:57,933
A flashlight.
I'll get you one.
1293
01:16:58,814 --> 01:16:59,727
Okkk ayyy!
1294
01:17:02,731 --> 01:17:05,220
Halogen flashlights.
A total must.
1295
01:17:07,648 --> 01:17:08,892
Could someone
1296
01:17:09,106 --> 01:17:11,393
serve me a scotch?
1297
01:17:11,606 --> 01:17:13,893
I need a drink
before the other brother
1298
01:17:14,106 --> 01:17:15,813
arrives to finish the seminar.
1299
01:17:16,023 --> 01:17:16,852
Edgar and Edouard together...
1300
01:17:17,065 --> 01:17:18,143
aren't easy.
1301
01:17:18,357 --> 01:17:19,636
I'm waiting for sire's torch.
1302
01:17:19,857 --> 01:17:20,769
sire?
1303
01:17:22,273 --> 01:17:23,103
Cousin Hubert.
1304
01:17:23,315 --> 01:17:25,436
Hubert de Montmirail
is your cousin?
1305
01:17:26,523 --> 01:17:27,388
How amazing.
1306
01:17:27,607 --> 01:17:29,349
so Jacquart is their cousin too?
1307
01:17:29,982 --> 01:17:31,439
Nay nay nay!
1308
01:17:31,649 --> 01:17:33,556
Aren't you Jacquart's brother?
1309
01:17:33,774 --> 01:17:34,437
No.
1310
01:17:35,315 --> 01:17:36,891
Your mother isn't his mother?
1311
01:17:37,982 --> 01:17:39,261
My mother was Gwendolyne.
1312
01:17:39,482 --> 01:17:41,058
she was devoured by woIves,
1313
01:17:41,482 --> 01:17:44,149
because my father,
on his way to the tavern,
1314
01:17:44,524 --> 01:17:47,557
fell in the icy lake
due to his club foot.
1315
01:17:49,316 --> 01:17:50,097
How awful!
1316
01:17:51,774 --> 01:17:52,639
How freaky!
1317
01:17:53,233 --> 01:17:54,014
Freakkky!
1318
01:17:54,233 --> 01:17:56,058
If I understand correctly,
1319
01:17:56,274 --> 01:17:57,684
you're Jacquart's half-brother.
1320
01:17:59,441 --> 01:18:01,479
Freakkky! Okkk ayyy!
1321
01:18:01,691 --> 01:18:02,639
Freakkky!
1322
01:18:03,025 --> 01:18:04,221
Freakkky!
1323
01:18:05,066 --> 01:18:07,436
Yes, it sure is freaky.
1324
01:18:08,525 --> 01:18:10,065
Jacquart is so secretive.
1325
01:18:10,275 --> 01:18:12,728
There's no shame in having
a handicapped father.
1326
01:18:13,316 --> 01:18:15,106
Okkk ayyy!
1327
01:18:16,775 --> 01:18:18,351
sorry for your father.
1328
01:18:18,567 --> 01:18:19,941
Thank you.
1329
01:18:20,567 --> 01:18:22,937
why did that idiot
mention my father?
1330
01:18:24,400 --> 01:18:27,813
what are you doing in the garbage,
you dirty thief?
1331
01:18:28,317 --> 01:18:29,146
Come here.
1332
01:18:29,359 --> 01:18:32,973
Let go of me, sleazeball.
I'm a Chernobyl victim.
1333
01:18:33,192 --> 01:18:34,306
save it for the cops.
1334
01:18:35,192 --> 01:18:37,099
Lady Ginette!
Release her, peasant.
1335
01:18:37,942 --> 01:18:39,316
Lady Ginette is my friend.
1336
01:18:40,151 --> 01:18:42,188
- she is a friend of yours?
- Yes.
1337
01:18:42,401 --> 01:18:44,972
she is good-hearted.
she is welcome here.
1338
01:18:45,276 --> 01:18:48,439
As you like, sir.
Her head was in the garbage bin.
1339
01:18:48,651 --> 01:18:52,017
If you rummaged in garbage heaps,
you'd have a nicer bow-tie.
1340
01:18:53,818 --> 01:18:55,773
People with money to burn
1341
01:18:55,984 --> 01:18:57,525
dump lots of great stuff.
1342
01:18:57,734 --> 01:18:59,855
Like I found these great stockings.
1343
01:19:03,985 --> 01:19:05,975
what a ripe apple!
1344
01:19:08,443 --> 01:19:10,149
You're letting them in?
1345
01:19:10,360 --> 01:19:12,895
stow it. she's the boss's
brother's broad.
1346
01:19:13,110 --> 01:19:14,307
They'll kick us out.
1347
01:19:14,527 --> 01:19:17,560
Fear not.
The castle belongs to my family.
1348
01:19:17,777 --> 01:19:18,689
No way!
1349
01:19:18,902 --> 01:19:20,442
I'll give you a tour.
1350
01:19:22,694 --> 01:19:24,270
Ladies and Gents.
1351
01:19:27,027 --> 01:19:28,436
That's the office.
1352
01:19:28,652 --> 01:19:30,808
Hold your tongue, wretch.
It is my youngling's office.
1353
01:19:31,027 --> 01:19:32,733
He is kindred.
1354
01:19:36,652 --> 01:19:38,442
what the hell is this?
1355
01:19:39,902 --> 01:19:43,315
Jacqueline, what happened
in the halIway?
1356
01:19:44,319 --> 01:19:45,184
It's your "youngling", sir.
1357
01:19:46,069 --> 01:19:49,151
Those garbage heaps
fall apart if you sneeze.
1358
01:19:49,361 --> 01:19:51,399
worry not. 'Tis my specialty.
1359
01:19:53,694 --> 01:19:55,022
It needs oil.
1360
01:19:55,236 --> 01:19:57,191
who let you in?
It's private here.
1361
01:19:57,445 --> 01:20:01,142
I'm showing our castle to Lady Ginette.
This is my youngling.
1362
01:20:01,361 --> 01:20:01,977
Hi youngling.
1363
01:20:02,195 --> 01:20:03,901
she scuzzed up the Persian rug.
1364
01:20:04,111 --> 01:20:04,810
The game's over.
1365
01:20:05,028 --> 01:20:06,818
Get out,
or I'll call the cops.
1366
01:20:07,070 --> 01:20:09,061
But you're my youngling.
1367
01:20:09,278 --> 01:20:10,060
I love you.
1368
01:20:10,278 --> 01:20:12,068
Thy success makes me proud.
1369
01:20:12,278 --> 01:20:13,475
Let go, scum.
1370
01:20:13,695 --> 01:20:14,690
Freddy, get the dog.
1371
01:20:14,903 --> 01:20:15,602
Brutus?
1372
01:20:15,820 --> 01:20:17,099
There are guests here.
1373
01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:18,434
I don't care!
1374
01:20:18,904 --> 01:20:20,894
Calm thyself, youngling.
we're kin.
1375
01:20:21,154 --> 01:20:22,066
Chill out.
1376
01:20:22,279 --> 01:20:23,985
Enough!
1377
01:20:25,362 --> 01:20:26,440
Freddy, let him loose.
1378
01:20:31,654 --> 01:20:34,225
You flubbed.
That's not the way out.
1379
01:20:34,446 --> 01:20:36,602
we must find the chapel.
My treasure!
1380
01:20:37,654 --> 01:20:39,277
He'll bite off
our family jewels!
1381
01:20:39,946 --> 01:20:43,477
The chapel! The chapel!
The ruined abbey!
1382
01:21:06,197 --> 01:21:07,571
welcome, Mr. Bernay.
1383
01:21:08,322 --> 01:21:09,565
Long trip.
1384
01:21:12,322 --> 01:21:13,483
Holy smoke!
1385
01:21:18,655 --> 01:21:20,812
Holy Moses! You're loaded.
1386
01:21:24,697 --> 01:21:25,859
what about the pooch?
1387
01:21:26,072 --> 01:21:26,736
Your purse.
1388
01:21:28,031 --> 01:21:29,689
we'll trap him.
1389
01:21:54,031 --> 01:21:55,109
I know him not.
1390
01:21:55,323 --> 01:21:56,780
surely one of our enemies.
1391
01:22:14,990 --> 01:22:16,400
My youngling!
1392
01:22:17,532 --> 01:22:19,238
Help!
1393
01:22:21,324 --> 01:22:22,521
Hold on, youngling.
1394
01:22:32,532 --> 01:22:35,317
- without you, I'd have died.
- Indeed.
1395
01:22:40,658 --> 01:22:41,688
Leeches.
1396
01:22:42,908 --> 01:22:45,231
serpent tongues. Rotten fish.
1397
01:22:45,533 --> 01:22:48,068
All the old wizard's potions.
1398
01:22:48,283 --> 01:22:49,859
A book!
The treasure is near.
1399
01:22:50,283 --> 01:22:51,278
The Book of spells.
1400
01:22:59,033 --> 01:22:59,779
All is lost.
1401
01:23:07,658 --> 01:23:09,032
That just opened.
1402
01:23:09,409 --> 01:23:11,862
I'm a little scared.
1403
01:23:14,409 --> 01:23:17,821
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I'll go first.
1404
01:23:21,451 --> 01:23:22,232
My youngling!
1405
01:23:25,742 --> 01:23:27,899
Hub! Give me some slack.
1406
01:23:28,534 --> 01:23:31,283
Hub, help me!
1407
01:23:34,284 --> 01:23:35,315
Is there a Book?
1408
01:23:37,326 --> 01:23:38,570
- My God!
- what is it?
1409
01:23:38,784 --> 01:23:39,614
There's a note.
1410
01:23:41,910 --> 01:23:43,532
Godefroy de Montmirail.
If you make it here,
1411
01:23:43,743 --> 01:23:46,575
call immediately,
during office hours, 68 77 79.
1412
01:23:46,785 --> 01:23:48,242
Ask for Mr. Ferdinand.
1413
01:23:53,910 --> 01:23:55,486
In here.
1414
01:23:55,702 --> 01:23:57,111
Not you. Only the man.
1415
01:23:57,327 --> 01:23:58,701
- wait.
- sorry, youngling.
1416
01:23:58,952 --> 01:23:59,698
I wanted...
1417
01:24:01,202 --> 01:24:01,865
Great.
1418
01:24:04,368 --> 01:24:06,774
Come closer.
Godefroy de Montmirail?
1419
01:24:06,994 --> 01:24:09,068
The first Count to bear that name?
1420
01:24:09,285 --> 01:24:09,949
Yes, 'tis l.
1421
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:11,867
I've been waiting 30 years.
1422
01:24:12,494 --> 01:24:13,193
who are you?
1423
01:24:13,535 --> 01:24:16,901
I am the descendant
of the wizard Eusaebius.
1424
01:24:17,119 --> 01:24:19,524
I am charged
to send you back in time,
1425
01:24:19,786 --> 01:24:23,198
so you can save the life of Eusaebius,
who is at this very moment...
1426
01:24:23,411 --> 01:24:24,820
being horribly tortured.
1427
01:24:25,452 --> 01:24:28,534
I prepared the potion,
following the recipe
1428
01:24:28,744 --> 01:24:31,363
in my ancestor's Book of spells.
1429
01:24:31,578 --> 01:24:34,659
Leave that.
The potion is on the shelf.
1430
01:24:40,203 --> 01:24:42,277
The same ghastly odor.
1431
01:24:42,661 --> 01:24:44,735
My ancestor's diary
1432
01:24:44,953 --> 01:24:46,743
mentions your companion.
1433
01:24:46,953 --> 01:24:49,193
- where is he?
- At the castle.
1434
01:24:49,411 --> 01:24:50,739
You must leave with him
1435
01:24:50,953 --> 01:24:54,817
before midnight. Or else,
you'll have to wait 33 years.
1436
01:24:55,037 --> 01:24:57,360
If you don't return to your past,
1437
01:24:57,578 --> 01:24:59,486
another future will take form,
1438
01:24:59,703 --> 01:25:01,529
in which you have no descendants,
1439
01:25:02,162 --> 01:25:05,160
because you never
married and fathered children.
1440
01:25:08,537 --> 01:25:09,201
so?
1441
01:25:09,495 --> 01:25:11,202
what was the big secret?
1442
01:25:11,412 --> 01:25:12,786
Let's return to the castle.
1443
01:25:24,413 --> 01:25:25,989
The chariot that arrested me.
1444
01:25:26,538 --> 01:25:28,279
why the ambulance?
1445
01:25:28,538 --> 01:25:30,659
Ma'am, hurry. It's your husband.
1446
01:25:30,871 --> 01:25:31,949
Jean-Pierre?
1447
01:25:32,163 --> 01:25:35,077
He was furious
that you had hung up on him.
1448
01:25:35,288 --> 01:25:38,156
Then the dog bit him.
Come this way.
1449
01:25:42,205 --> 01:25:43,579
Jean-Pierre, what happened?
1450
01:25:43,788 --> 01:25:47,154
Jacquart's dog bit me
while I was paying the taxi.
1451
01:25:47,705 --> 01:25:50,454
Your husband is baring his ass
to this woman.
1452
01:25:50,788 --> 01:25:52,696
she's caressing his bun'lings.
1453
01:25:53,080 --> 01:25:55,367
she's giving him a shot. OK?
1454
01:25:55,580 --> 01:25:56,694
Get him out.
1455
01:25:56,913 --> 01:25:58,572
I want my shot in peace.
1456
01:26:00,955 --> 01:26:01,737
Excuse me, doctor.
1457
01:26:01,955 --> 01:26:03,282
Excuse us.
1458
01:26:03,497 --> 01:26:05,287
Is this Grand Central station?
I should charge admission!
1459
01:26:05,497 --> 01:26:06,410
You're here.
1460
01:26:06,789 --> 01:26:07,452
Yes.
1461
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:12,619
Did Brutus attack for no reason,
or did you excite him first?
1462
01:26:13,247 --> 01:26:14,029
Excite who?
1463
01:26:14,247 --> 01:26:16,617
Excuse me.
The dentist hurt himself?
1464
01:26:17,706 --> 01:26:19,780
I'm sick of having
my ass stared at.
1465
01:26:21,248 --> 01:26:24,364
Jean-Pierre, you're paranoid.
No one is staring.
1466
01:26:25,831 --> 01:26:28,663
I have a phone call
for Cousin Hubert.
1467
01:26:29,164 --> 01:26:30,741
Godefroy?
1468
01:26:35,998 --> 01:26:37,407
Monijoie!
1469
01:26:37,998 --> 01:26:42,288
It's Jacquasse, Godefroy.
No use shouting at the little box.
1470
01:26:43,832 --> 01:26:45,538
stop screaming!
1471
01:26:47,915 --> 01:26:51,032
speak calmly
into the little holes.
1472
01:26:51,248 --> 01:26:52,113
where are you, peasant?
1473
01:26:52,332 --> 01:26:56,195
Bowling Alley. with Lady Ginette.
And I'm no longer a peasant.
1474
01:26:56,415 --> 01:26:57,114
Yo, Jacky.
1475
01:26:57,332 --> 01:27:00,164
I roll the ball.
I'm having a ball!
1476
01:27:04,374 --> 01:27:06,080
we're having balls.
1477
01:27:06,999 --> 01:27:08,077
You were a good master,
Godefroy.
1478
01:27:08,541 --> 01:27:09,868
sire Godefroy!
1479
01:27:10,082 --> 01:27:10,746
Yes, Godefroy.
1480
01:27:11,541 --> 01:27:14,373
The best master.
Better than Montfaucon.
1481
01:27:15,541 --> 01:27:16,322
One minute, vassal.
1482
01:27:16,541 --> 01:27:18,164
No vassal.
No more vassals.
1483
01:27:18,374 --> 01:27:20,827
Leave your Lord alone,
peasants.
1484
01:27:22,166 --> 01:27:23,742
who does he think he is?
1485
01:27:23,958 --> 01:27:25,699
Peasants?
what does he mean?
1486
01:27:26,291 --> 01:27:26,907
Problem, chief?
1487
01:27:27,124 --> 01:27:28,404
No.
1488
01:27:29,083 --> 01:27:29,864
Listen up.
1489
01:27:30,208 --> 01:27:32,163
- we can go home.
- Home?
1490
01:27:32,375 --> 01:27:33,618
Beer and Pernod?
1491
01:27:33,833 --> 01:27:34,911
Godefroy, I'm staying.
1492
01:27:35,125 --> 01:27:37,199
The beer and the Pernod:
are they for you?
1493
01:27:37,416 --> 01:27:38,613
Okkk ayyy.
1494
01:27:40,125 --> 01:27:41,238
Lady Ginette proposed to me.
1495
01:27:41,875 --> 01:27:42,740
who's the bozo?
1496
01:27:42,958 --> 01:27:44,996
A lounge lizard
with that floozy.
1497
01:27:45,542 --> 01:27:47,947
she's wearing high heels.
1498
01:27:48,208 --> 01:27:49,322
Come back!
1499
01:27:49,667 --> 01:27:51,456
Best wishes to Lady Frenegonde.
1500
01:27:51,667 --> 01:27:53,823
I'll miss you,
but I'm too happy here.
1501
01:27:54,042 --> 01:27:56,874
You lunatic!
There's nothing for us here.
1502
01:27:57,875 --> 01:27:58,954
I'll make do.
1503
01:27:59,167 --> 01:28:00,446
You're wearing goddamned boots!
1504
01:28:00,667 --> 01:28:03,452
Let me go!
I don't want your scummy shoes!
1505
01:28:03,667 --> 01:28:05,575
Return here hastily.
1506
01:28:05,792 --> 01:28:06,456
I refuse.
1507
01:28:07,001 --> 01:28:09,952
very well. whatever you say.
1508
01:28:10,167 --> 01:28:11,080
You're not angry?
1509
01:28:11,334 --> 01:28:12,115
No.
1510
01:28:12,917 --> 01:28:14,114
we all must die.
1511
01:28:15,543 --> 01:28:18,494
Yes, I must warn you, Crass One.
1512
01:28:18,709 --> 01:28:20,617
I happened upon a wizard today.
1513
01:28:20,834 --> 01:28:24,994
He told me if you didn't return
before the full moon,
1514
01:28:25,293 --> 01:28:26,572
your innards would rot.
1515
01:28:26,876 --> 01:28:28,286
You'll die in great pain.
1516
01:28:29,293 --> 01:28:31,616
I don't believe you.
You want to scare me.
1517
01:28:32,460 --> 01:28:34,036
You're already rotting.
1518
01:28:34,543 --> 01:28:37,375
Take as proof
the fetid odor in your mouth.
1519
01:28:38,918 --> 01:28:40,376
Come back before tweIve,
1520
01:28:41,252 --> 01:28:41,915
or else,
1521
01:28:42,418 --> 01:28:43,449
farewell.
1522
01:28:43,668 --> 01:28:46,122
sire Godefroy. sire Godefroy.
1523
01:28:51,794 --> 01:28:54,957
Excuse my abruptness,
but I'm o'erjoyed to return home.
1524
01:28:55,169 --> 01:28:55,832
Leaving already?
1525
01:28:56,710 --> 01:28:57,326
How nice.
1526
01:28:57,544 --> 01:28:58,953
where do you live exactly?
1527
01:28:59,794 --> 01:29:00,457
Home.
1528
01:29:02,294 --> 01:29:03,538
where is "home"?
1529
01:29:03,752 --> 01:29:05,624
Here and there.
You couldn't understand.
1530
01:29:06,877 --> 01:29:08,418
They're plotting something.
1531
01:29:08,627 --> 01:29:10,665
They were nosing around the chimney.
1532
01:29:10,878 --> 01:29:12,287
Really...
1533
01:29:12,503 --> 01:29:15,915
I'll conduct an investigation
concerning your strange guest.
1534
01:29:16,128 --> 01:29:17,206
Peasant, come here.
1535
01:29:23,128 --> 01:29:25,083
what the hell, ass-breath!
1536
01:29:25,295 --> 01:29:27,036
You smell like a dead skunk!
1537
01:29:30,753 --> 01:29:31,701
where is Lady Beatrice?
1538
01:29:31,920 --> 01:29:33,164
she's upstairs changing.
1539
01:29:33,545 --> 01:29:36,496
Your cousin has agreed
to dine with Mr. Bernay
1540
01:29:36,712 --> 01:29:37,991
of the Bernay and Bernay Bank.
1541
01:29:38,378 --> 01:29:41,329
Our bank has aIways
appreciated the aristocracy.
1542
01:29:41,545 --> 01:29:44,413
May the Lord bless you,
kind Bernay and Bernay.
1543
01:29:45,379 --> 01:29:46,492
Is he teasing me?
1544
01:29:46,712 --> 01:29:47,790
I doubt it.
1545
01:29:53,462 --> 01:29:55,749
To think my ancestors
built all this!
1546
01:29:55,962 --> 01:29:58,711
- That dungeon is to die for!
- we almost did.
1547
01:29:58,962 --> 01:30:01,451
- what were you doing?
- I was showing...
1548
01:30:01,671 --> 01:30:03,994
my all-too-logical husband
how we almost
1549
01:30:04,212 --> 01:30:05,492
found the treasure.
1550
01:30:05,712 --> 01:30:07,170
You played doctor there?
1551
01:30:08,046 --> 01:30:09,704
Leave me now.
1552
01:30:13,796 --> 01:30:15,337
You called me, Mr. Bernay?
1553
01:30:16,296 --> 01:30:17,326
Tell me, Jacquart,
1554
01:30:18,338 --> 01:30:19,879
is your cousin Montmirail
1555
01:30:20,171 --> 01:30:22,162
a little la-dee-dah-ish?
1556
01:30:22,380 --> 01:30:23,659
what is la-dee-dah-ish?
1557
01:30:24,005 --> 01:30:27,868
Anyone can have a gay cousin
and an alcoholic father.
1558
01:30:28,630 --> 01:30:30,704
There's no cause for embarrassment.
1559
01:30:30,922 --> 01:30:33,291
who are you to insult
my happily-retired father?
1560
01:30:33,505 --> 01:30:35,295
Do I ask if your father farts?
1561
01:30:35,505 --> 01:30:37,661
Or if your wife boozes it up
in the closet?
1562
01:30:38,713 --> 01:30:41,249
Talking about his family
is a major taboo.
1563
01:30:44,964 --> 01:30:46,161
You know the dungeon?
1564
01:30:46,922 --> 01:30:47,668
what is this?
1565
01:30:48,589 --> 01:30:51,255
You entered my chamber
without requesting audience?
1566
01:30:51,464 --> 01:30:54,296
Anything found in the dungeon
belongs to the hotel.
1567
01:30:54,714 --> 01:30:55,911
whatever it's worth.
1568
01:30:56,339 --> 01:30:57,713
what is that? Crack?
1569
01:30:57,922 --> 01:30:58,870
LsD?
1570
01:30:59,089 --> 01:31:01,163
Hand it over.
I'll have it analyzed.
1571
01:31:03,589 --> 01:31:05,295
No tricks! I'm armed!
1572
01:31:07,714 --> 01:31:10,084
Hilda? still there? Lucky me.
1573
01:31:10,464 --> 01:31:13,912
Jump in a taxi and bring me
my black cocktail dress.
1574
01:31:14,131 --> 01:31:15,245
we have a dinner.
1575
01:31:15,923 --> 01:31:17,001
Hub, knock first!
1576
01:31:18,756 --> 01:31:19,787
The little red balls.
1577
01:31:22,465 --> 01:31:23,294
what now?
1578
01:31:23,506 --> 01:31:25,378
You want a tranquilizer, Hub?
1579
01:31:25,798 --> 01:31:26,579
what's wrong?
1580
01:31:27,465 --> 01:31:30,416
He's making progress.
He realizes he's cracking up.
1581
01:31:30,632 --> 01:31:32,089
Maybe he'll ask to be locked up.
1582
01:31:32,298 --> 01:31:34,123
I am totally disappointed in you.
1583
01:31:34,923 --> 01:31:35,753
I swear.
1584
01:31:36,423 --> 01:31:37,703
Free us immediately.
1585
01:31:37,924 --> 01:31:39,582
I'll reduce the sentence.
1586
01:31:39,799 --> 01:31:42,204
- swallow, peasant.
- Enough's enough.
1587
01:31:45,549 --> 01:31:47,835
Don't bother with me.
I'll keep quiet.
1588
01:31:48,049 --> 01:31:49,921
- Is your cousin Hubert joining us?
- soon.
1589
01:31:51,799 --> 01:31:53,706
They stop serving at 9:30.
1590
01:31:53,924 --> 01:31:54,919
Countess.
1591
01:32:09,383 --> 01:32:10,378
Let us eat.
1592
01:32:13,550 --> 01:32:16,003
Did you know this dungeon existed?
1593
01:32:16,300 --> 01:32:18,006
Of course not!
1594
01:32:18,841 --> 01:32:19,754
Help!
1595
01:32:20,258 --> 01:32:21,537
where is sergeant-Major Gibon?
1596
01:32:21,758 --> 01:32:23,464
with Jacques-Henri.
Go have a drink.
1597
01:32:23,675 --> 01:32:24,587
On the house.
1598
01:32:26,967 --> 01:32:29,372
'Twas much more hospitable
in the past.
1599
01:32:29,592 --> 01:32:31,582
we burned entire trees.
1600
01:32:31,800 --> 01:32:34,632
The walls and floors
were covered with rugs.
1601
01:32:34,842 --> 01:32:39,250
Not an evening went by without
jugglers, minstrels, and trollops.
1602
01:32:40,509 --> 01:32:42,049
I remember one evening,
1603
01:32:42,259 --> 01:32:45,838
the fire-eater set afire
Lady Flegmonde's wig.
1604
01:32:46,051 --> 01:32:49,381
we had to throw her
into the icy moat, fully-dressed.
1605
01:32:50,092 --> 01:32:51,834
Family souvenirs are so vivid.
1606
01:32:55,009 --> 01:32:58,090
He tells them so well.
You feel you're there.
1607
01:32:58,634 --> 01:32:59,333
where?
1608
01:33:00,551 --> 01:33:02,625
Isn't he the bum from the church?
1609
01:33:08,301 --> 01:33:09,924
Are you okay, sugardaddy?
1610
01:33:10,135 --> 01:33:12,172
I'm still not used
to this jalopy.
1611
01:33:12,593 --> 01:33:13,458
Evening, wench.
1612
01:33:13,676 --> 01:33:14,458
Hiya Missy.
1613
01:33:14,676 --> 01:33:15,541
sir, ma'am...
1614
01:33:15,760 --> 01:33:16,921
where's Mr. Godefroy,
1615
01:33:17,260 --> 01:33:18,421
dammit?
1616
01:33:19,552 --> 01:33:20,215
There.
1617
01:33:20,677 --> 01:33:21,707
Ladies and Gents.
1618
01:33:23,093 --> 01:33:25,167
Good evening, ma'am.
Good evening, sir.
1619
01:33:30,427 --> 01:33:33,627
My Jacquasse. You came.
I am relieved.
1620
01:33:33,844 --> 01:33:34,625
Ladies and Gents.
1621
01:33:34,844 --> 01:33:35,589
Mr. Goulard.
1622
01:33:36,344 --> 01:33:38,500
Come drink to our friends, my Crass.
1623
01:33:39,344 --> 01:33:40,884
Before we leave.
1624
01:33:41,219 --> 01:33:41,965
when is that?
1625
01:33:42,261 --> 01:33:43,173
This evening.
1626
01:33:43,386 --> 01:33:45,257
- Tonight?
- Traveling by night?
1627
01:33:45,719 --> 01:33:46,833
Indeed.
1628
01:33:47,344 --> 01:33:50,212
I prefer night-driving.
I have 20/20 vision.
1629
01:33:50,427 --> 01:33:52,299
There are fewer road hogs.
1630
01:33:52,511 --> 01:33:53,755
Except in the fog.
1631
01:33:53,969 --> 01:33:55,711
I'm a helicopter-man myself.
1632
01:34:00,928 --> 01:34:02,041
I am not going, sire.
1633
01:34:02,469 --> 01:34:03,334
we're getting hitched.
1634
01:34:04,053 --> 01:34:06,423
He's too shy to ask you
to be best man.
1635
01:34:06,636 --> 01:34:09,670
You can stay too.
I have the antidote against rot.
1636
01:34:11,345 --> 01:34:13,833
- Your purse, Ginette.
- Hold on, babe.
1637
01:34:14,345 --> 01:34:15,624
My bag's a mess.
1638
01:34:16,137 --> 01:34:18,211
so much room
you can shit in it!
1639
01:34:18,470 --> 01:34:19,216
what?
1640
01:34:20,095 --> 01:34:21,671
what do you do, Mr...
1641
01:34:22,762 --> 01:34:24,799
Kass, as in... "gas".
1642
01:34:27,179 --> 01:34:29,881
No rot can resist tooth pate!
1643
01:34:30,720 --> 01:34:31,419
what?
1644
01:34:31,804 --> 01:34:32,668
Pearly white!
1645
01:34:42,137 --> 01:34:43,334
How 'bout that?
1646
01:34:43,804 --> 01:34:45,546
That was really gross.
1647
01:34:46,971 --> 01:34:48,168
Enough.
1648
01:34:49,888 --> 01:34:51,546
what are you doing, bruiser?
1649
01:34:51,763 --> 01:34:52,876
Throwing him out.
1650
01:34:53,096 --> 01:34:55,382
Let go of him!
1651
01:35:01,430 --> 01:35:02,508
what's going on?
1652
01:35:06,138 --> 01:35:07,252
Are you okay?
1653
01:35:08,888 --> 01:35:09,918
No, sire!
1654
01:35:17,222 --> 01:35:19,047
You can't force me to go home!
1655
01:35:19,847 --> 01:35:22,382
I'm not a vassal anymore! I'm free!
1656
01:35:23,013 --> 01:35:24,755
Long live the Revolution!
1657
01:35:37,306 --> 01:35:38,929
Look.
He's your youngling too.
1658
01:35:39,139 --> 01:35:41,544
He was a good man.
He knew about justice.
1659
01:35:41,847 --> 01:35:43,637
They cut off his head, peasant.
1660
01:35:43,847 --> 01:35:44,712
Freddy!
1661
01:35:45,181 --> 01:35:47,171
Help!
1662
01:35:47,389 --> 01:35:49,096
who's that?
1663
01:35:49,306 --> 01:35:50,847
Your youngling.
1664
01:35:51,056 --> 01:35:52,004
You jailed him?
1665
01:35:52,306 --> 01:35:54,593
I left it so they'll find him.
Drink!
1666
01:35:57,848 --> 01:35:59,045
I'm in pain!
1667
01:36:04,765 --> 01:36:05,677
Hub, it's Bea.
1668
01:36:09,098 --> 01:36:10,508
what happened to Mr. Kass?
1669
01:36:10,723 --> 01:36:12,382
My God! My belly!
1670
01:36:12,848 --> 01:36:13,962
I have no time. Listen.
1671
01:36:14,182 --> 01:36:15,379
I'm listening, Hubert.
1672
01:36:15,598 --> 01:36:17,056
I'm not Hubert.
1673
01:36:17,265 --> 01:36:19,220
I'm Godefroy Amaury de Malfete,
1674
01:36:19,432 --> 01:36:21,837
Count of Montmirail, of Apremont
and of Popincourt.
1675
01:36:22,140 --> 01:36:25,719
son of Aldebert de Malfete
and Thibaude de Montfaucon.
1676
01:36:27,390 --> 01:36:28,255
I am your ancestor.
1677
01:36:36,891 --> 01:36:37,720
Torch.
1678
01:36:51,058 --> 01:36:53,214
Fred, it's you. Freddy.
1679
01:36:55,766 --> 01:36:57,389
I beg your pardon, youngling.
1680
01:37:08,267 --> 01:37:11,798
I'm sick of your song and dance.
I don't believe a word of it.
1681
01:37:12,183 --> 01:37:14,221
so spill the beans.
1682
01:37:14,433 --> 01:37:16,341
shit! Damn it!
1683
01:37:19,309 --> 01:37:22,923
You don't believe me? I'll show
you something you've never seen.
1684
01:37:23,475 --> 01:37:25,098
That no one has ever seen.
1685
01:37:26,267 --> 01:37:28,009
That you'll never see again.
1686
01:37:30,309 --> 01:37:32,099
sit thyself down, and watch.
1687
01:37:35,101 --> 01:37:36,926
I'm going to vomit.
1688
01:37:43,059 --> 01:37:44,766
Does your tummy ache?
1689
01:38:12,935 --> 01:38:14,890
where is Mr. Kass?
1690
01:38:15,102 --> 01:38:16,725
How did "Jacky" get so rich?
1691
01:38:16,935 --> 01:38:18,594
An antique car is no bargain.
1692
01:38:18,810 --> 01:38:21,015
It's his own personal fortune.
1693
01:38:21,519 --> 01:38:25,892
His family owns this joint.
He wants us to tie the knot.
1694
01:38:26,102 --> 01:38:28,342
why didn't you
tell me from the start?
1695
01:38:28,894 --> 01:38:30,055
I did.
1696
01:38:31,436 --> 01:38:32,976
You wouldn't listen.
1697
01:38:33,811 --> 01:38:36,181
You're right.
I'm sorry Godefroy.
1698
01:38:37,144 --> 01:38:38,602
I'm going, Beatrice.
1699
01:38:39,144 --> 01:38:41,182
I am very happy to have known you.
1700
01:38:42,103 --> 01:38:44,508
Godefroy, I'm so moved.
what can I say?
1701
01:38:44,978 --> 01:38:46,803
we'll never meet again.
1702
01:38:47,853 --> 01:38:50,555
It is so unique
to be able to touch you,
1703
01:38:51,270 --> 01:38:54,386
my youngling,
my ever-so-young youngling.
1704
01:38:56,811 --> 01:38:57,724
You know,
1705
01:38:58,937 --> 01:39:00,595
I lied.
1706
01:39:01,062 --> 01:39:05,435
I was not searching for a treasure,
but for the magic potion.
1707
01:39:05,895 --> 01:39:06,594
Pardon me.
1708
01:39:07,020 --> 01:39:09,687
No treasure can replace
our having met.
1709
01:39:09,895 --> 01:39:10,559
Indeed.
1710
01:39:10,854 --> 01:39:13,342
Nothing can equal
meeting one's descendants.
1711
01:39:17,770 --> 01:39:18,552
Bea? Are you there?
1712
01:39:20,937 --> 01:39:23,852
My life will seem so boring now.
1713
01:39:24,062 --> 01:39:25,685
You must forget me.
1714
01:39:25,979 --> 01:39:27,388
You have your children.
1715
01:39:28,312 --> 01:39:31,476
Give Florian and Ondine
a big kiss from an old ancestor.
1716
01:39:33,021 --> 01:39:35,889
And deep in your soul, keep
1717
01:39:36,104 --> 01:39:37,976
a memory of me.
1718
01:39:40,188 --> 01:39:41,680
I love you, my Beatrice.
1719
01:39:42,063 --> 01:39:43,307
I love you too.
1720
01:39:56,688 --> 01:39:58,726
A secret passage. This way!
1721
01:39:59,647 --> 01:40:00,808
sergeant-Major Gibon?
1722
01:40:01,022 --> 01:40:02,977
Are you okay?
You're not hurt?
1723
01:40:03,313 --> 01:40:04,475
No, Jean-Pierre.
1724
01:40:04,855 --> 01:40:06,134
where did Hubert go?
1725
01:40:06,355 --> 01:40:08,227
You're too rational to understand.
1726
01:40:08,439 --> 01:40:12,432
spare me your lame interpretations.
Answer me, please.
1727
01:40:12,772 --> 01:40:13,685
where is your cousin?
1728
01:40:13,939 --> 01:40:15,846
He left with Mr. Kass.
1729
01:40:18,772 --> 01:40:19,934
Is the sheriff gone?
1730
01:40:20,147 --> 01:40:22,304
what are you saying?
Mr. Kass is here.
1731
01:40:22,522 --> 01:40:23,719
Mr. Kass!
1732
01:40:23,981 --> 01:40:26,979
Hush! I must find Lady Ginette.
1733
01:40:30,773 --> 01:40:32,680
who left with...?
1734
01:40:34,064 --> 01:40:34,763
shit!
1735
01:40:57,148 --> 01:40:58,558
A bear is chasing her!
1736
01:41:01,482 --> 01:41:03,852
steer clear, beloved!
steer clear!
1737
01:41:04,607 --> 01:41:05,388
Come back!
1738
01:41:08,940 --> 01:41:11,476
If you find enough force
1739
01:41:11,690 --> 01:41:13,267
in yourself,
1740
01:41:13,482 --> 01:41:14,761
you will be able
1741
01:41:14,982 --> 01:41:16,724
to change the course of the arrow.
1742
01:41:30,191 --> 01:41:30,972
Holy scrotums!
1743
01:41:31,399 --> 01:41:32,726
You almost pierced'st me!
1744
01:41:33,733 --> 01:41:36,399
slay the father of my lady-love?
1745
01:41:36,608 --> 01:41:38,480
Your absence was an eternity,
1746
01:41:38,691 --> 01:41:39,639
dear Godefroy.
1747
01:41:43,150 --> 01:41:44,607
- It's hard!
- sorry, beloved.
1748
01:41:45,358 --> 01:41:47,183
Jacquasse,
where are you, peasant?
1749
01:41:47,691 --> 01:41:49,149
Fetch my crossbow.
1750
01:41:49,608 --> 01:41:50,473
He's here, sire.
1751
01:41:50,733 --> 01:41:52,274
A-snoring in clown clothes.
1752
01:41:55,942 --> 01:41:57,186
where are we?
1753
01:41:59,817 --> 01:42:00,812
where's Freddy?
1754
01:42:02,900 --> 01:42:04,274
who are you?
1755
01:42:06,275 --> 01:42:09,143
Take my crossbow.
Oil it at the castle.
1756
01:42:09,525 --> 01:42:10,520
what are you doing here?
1757
01:42:11,067 --> 01:42:12,690
Jump in the river.
You stinketh.
1758
01:42:23,318 --> 01:42:26,020
so Crass?
Have you been sucking up wine?
1759
01:42:29,276 --> 01:42:30,934
what the hell is going on?
1760
01:42:31,818 --> 01:42:34,899
Obey your Lord. I don't want
to whip you on his wedding day!
1761
01:42:37,651 --> 01:42:38,516
Indeed!
1762
01:42:40,651 --> 01:42:42,227
Obey hastily, my Jacquasse.
1763
01:42:42,860 --> 01:42:43,689
shit!
1764
01:42:44,610 --> 01:42:45,937
Fuck!
1765
01:42:47,610 --> 01:42:48,807
Freakkky!
1766
01:42:50,027 --> 01:42:50,726
Okkk ayyy!
1767
01:42:53,110 --> 01:42:54,852
Hand over your jewels!
1768
01:42:59,985 --> 01:43:02,900
Cousin Hubert!
what is this nightmare?
1769
01:43:06,485 --> 01:43:08,393
what the hell is going on?
1770
01:43:10,736 --> 01:43:12,312
I'm hallucinating!
1771
01:43:13,319 --> 01:43:15,689
what the hell is going on?
119628
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