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Attention!
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Be seated.
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Now, I'd like to present to you
Jackass 2.5
4
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But before I do,
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I would like to introduce you
to the fine men
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who risked their lives
7
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and livers to make this film possible.
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By God, they made it their duty.
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Soldiers!
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About face!
11
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Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass!
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At ease.
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When we went out to shoot
Jackass Number Two,
14
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we actually shot
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two movies' worth of a movie.
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I don't know how we ended up
with so much footage. I think...
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We didn't really want to stop filming.
18
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It's just funner than normal life.
19
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This is pure black house paint.
20
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-It's not really house paint, it's interior.
-lt'll be all right.
21
00:03:06,137 --> 00:03:07,229
Water-based, of course.
22
00:03:07,338 --> 00:03:09,898
Just paint the fat bastard up,
and let's get this over with.
23
00:03:10,241 --> 00:03:14,541
The second thing we shot for
Jackass Number Two was a bit called
24
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Beauty and the Beast.
25
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And it's an idea Preston wrote, where
26
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we dress him up as a gorilla, and
Wee Man up as the damsel in distress.
27
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And we stand them up on top of
a building, or in our case a porta-potty,
28
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and fly airplanes at them
and crash them into them
29
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and, you know, he's the big King Kong.
30
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And after hiding
my extreme fear of heights
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for six years, I got busted.
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What's the technical word for that,
fear of heights?
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Fatty-fall-down-aphobia?
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Oh, shit!
35
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Oh, here it comes.
36
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-Come on, Kong.
-Oh, my God!
37
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Oh, my God, Kong!
38
00:03:56,754 --> 00:03:59,917
-Bring it back. Bring it back.
-Come on, Kong!
39
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It's coming in fast this time, Kong!
40
00:04:02,426 --> 00:04:03,393
Come on!
41
00:04:03,528 --> 00:04:05,052
Holy shit!
42
00:04:05,296 --> 00:04:07,764
-Beat its ass!
-Oh, my God!
43
00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:17,332
I'm dizzy. I'm dizzy.
I'm about to pass out.
44
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Oh, my God!
45
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-Oh, shit!
-Oh, crap.
46
00:04:23,147 --> 00:04:25,274
-Oh shit! Hey, Preston!
-Preston! Sit down!
47
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-Sit down.
-Sit down.
48
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Preston, get down.
49
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Hey, do the sound.
50
00:04:38,663 --> 00:04:39,891
Preston, you're doing good, buddy.
51
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I thought he was crying at one point.
52
00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:43,864
How you doing?
53
00:04:44,135 --> 00:04:45,432
Hey, we're getting gold, man.
54
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,333
-Watch out.
-He's going to shit himself.
55
00:04:48,072 --> 00:04:50,267
Hey, Gay Ray can't rescue you.
56
00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:51,932
Get back up there, Wee Man.
57
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:56,039
I was up there having, literally,
the worst day of my damn life.
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00:04:56,414 --> 00:04:59,474
All I could see was all the boys,
all my friends down there,
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00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:01,279
just pointing and laughing at me.
60
00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:03,216
-Grab the prop.
-What's happening?
61
00:05:03,354 --> 00:05:05,652
-Ready, go!
-He looks like a giant target.
62
00:05:05,823 --> 00:05:08,519
It's the kind of shit
that you feel like a bad person for.
63
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Save your woman!
64
00:05:12,129 --> 00:05:14,461
-Shit!
-You all right?
65
00:05:14,832 --> 00:05:17,426
Oh, no, dude, that was not good.
66
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,696
-He's all right.
-ls he good?
67
00:05:20,805 --> 00:05:23,501
-I can't believe he's all right.
-Dude, he missed the mattress.
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-Biggest noise.
-That wasn't very good.
69
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It didn't end very good.
70
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I don't got anything to say about that.
71
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You all right?
72
00:05:36,621 --> 00:05:40,819
It was the hardest day of any day
I've had in Jackass, in eight years.
73
00:05:41,559 --> 00:05:44,323
And I honestly didn't think I'd be able
to finish the movie after that.
74
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,588
It was that bad.
75
00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:54,702
-Hello. I'm Preston Lacy.
-And I'm Wee Man.
76
00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:57,406
This is Beauty and the Beast!
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Save me, big gorilla, save me!
78
00:06:00,845 --> 00:06:03,507
I wonder how you explain
the difference in... That's insane.
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00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:04,581
That's insane.
80
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,947
-Save your woman.
-Save your career.
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Hey, man, come on!
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Save me, big gorilla, save me.
83
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,059
Save me, big gorilla, save me.
84
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-That's one brave monkey.
-Oh, yeah, it is.
85
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What the fuck?
86
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It just goes to show
that when the chips are down
87
00:07:01,772 --> 00:07:02,261
It just goes to show
that when the chips are down
88
00:07:02,373 --> 00:07:03,965
and life looks like it really sucks...
89
00:07:05,309 --> 00:07:06,571
Xanax!
90
00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:13,711
I'm Phil Margera, and I'm hungry
for some goddamn meatballs.
91
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Do it.
92
00:07:18,656 --> 00:07:20,021
Are you all right?
93
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:23,082
Yeah, it got me like a punch.
94
00:07:23,194 --> 00:07:24,821
-You going to have a black eye?
-I think so.
95
00:07:24,929 --> 00:07:25,896
-Oh my God.
-I hope so.
96
00:07:26,764 --> 00:07:29,358
-How was those meatballs, Phil?
-They were delish.
97
00:07:30,768 --> 00:07:33,532
-Ape, you did a good job.
-Thank you.
98
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,340
I wrote this skit, Dizzy Boxing.
99
00:07:37,575 --> 00:07:41,170
And when I wrote it, I wrote that
we would be suspended from ropes
100
00:07:41,278 --> 00:07:43,940
that would be twisted around
and around and around,
101
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so much that when you let go,
it just spins you like crazy,
102
00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:49,480
to where you're just a human blur.
And then you'd box.
103
00:07:49,587 --> 00:07:51,782
So you'd be... I mean, crazy dizzy.
104
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:55,514
And then, so,
we end up at some hotel room
105
00:07:55,926 --> 00:07:58,793
and office chairs to be spun around in.
106
00:07:59,096 --> 00:08:01,530
I'm Dave England,
with Ehren McGhehey,
107
00:08:01,632 --> 00:08:02,599
and this is Dizzy Boxing.
108
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Yeah! Spin that bitch.
109
00:08:08,839 --> 00:08:09,806
Oh, shit.
110
00:08:14,478 --> 00:08:16,412
-Let's get it on!
-Kill him.
111
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,787
Break it up. Break it up. Break it up.
112
00:08:30,895 --> 00:08:32,487
Back to your corner.
Back to your corner.
113
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I want you to kill him. Not just beat
him up. I want you to make him dead.
114
00:08:40,504 --> 00:08:42,335
He's going to go down.
I'm gonna kill him.
115
00:08:42,807 --> 00:08:46,299
I've been saving it for this round.
This is going to be the one.
116
00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:47,377
Round 2.
117
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Let's get it on!
118
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,927
-Fight it out. Let's go. Let's go.
-Kill him.
119
00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:18,631
All right, break it up. Break it up.
Break it up.
120
00:09:20,044 --> 00:09:22,774
-Look, he's all amped up.
-Yeah, he won a round. He's stoked.
121
00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,672
He's got the taste for blood.
He wants to kill.
122
00:09:26,317 --> 00:09:27,614
Yeah!
123
00:09:27,718 --> 00:09:28,742
Round 3.
124
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,622
-All right, D. Just kick his ass.
-Come on, England.
125
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:36,053
Straight to the DVD.
126
00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:38,321
Straight to the DVD.
127
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,390
Let's get it on!
128
00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:43,900
Yeah!
129
00:09:45,703 --> 00:09:46,670
Yeah!
130
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,271
Yeah, that's right!
131
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,603
-Yeah!
-That was a good one.
132
00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,483
Stop! He's down, he's down.
133
00:10:00,985 --> 00:10:02,316
I'd never break up a fight like that.
134
00:10:02,419 --> 00:10:07,482
One, two, three, four, five,
135
00:10:07,591 --> 00:10:12,722
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
136
00:10:12,997 --> 00:10:14,191
We have a winner!
137
00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:15,731
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
138
00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:18,298
Winner is Ehren McGhehey!
139
00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:20,131
Dizzy boxing champion!
140
00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:22,138
And there's the loser.
141
00:10:31,448 --> 00:10:33,211
-Hello?
-Hi, Mom.
142
00:10:34,985 --> 00:10:37,010
-Hi.
-I'm at the beach.
143
00:10:38,322 --> 00:10:40,756
That doesn't sound...
Well normally, I'd say, "Yay!"
144
00:10:40,858 --> 00:10:42,291
But that doesn't sound too good.
145
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:44,287
I'm going to film a skit.
146
00:10:44,395 --> 00:10:47,660
It's called the Butt Bead Ass Kite.
147
00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:50,259
What?
148
00:10:51,268 --> 00:10:53,259
I'm going to fly a kite out of my ass.
149
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:56,464
You need to explain this to me.
How do you fly a kite out of your butt?
150
00:10:56,874 --> 00:10:58,466
You put anal beads up there.
151
00:11:03,147 --> 00:11:04,239
Are you kidding me?
152
00:11:04,415 --> 00:11:05,848
Yeah, don't worry, I'm going to help out.
153
00:11:07,952 --> 00:11:11,410
The beads are going to be totally
lubed up, April, it's cool.
154
00:11:11,956 --> 00:11:13,184
-We're going to spit on them.
-Are you joking?
155
00:11:13,657 --> 00:11:15,284
"We're going to spit on them"!
156
00:11:16,794 --> 00:11:17,852
Ape, what do you think?
157
00:11:17,962 --> 00:11:20,089
How are you not going
to get arrested doing this?
158
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:21,424
We have permits.
159
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,696
-Yeah.
-Where do you get a permit for that?
160
00:11:24,802 --> 00:11:25,962
Paramount.
161
00:11:26,070 --> 00:11:28,868
We can't get a permit
for something stupid, like an addition,
162
00:11:28,973 --> 00:11:30,440
and you're getting a permit for that?
163
00:11:30,574 --> 00:11:34,101
-So, do you approve of this skit?
-No!
164
00:11:34,211 --> 00:11:37,738
-Well, I'm doing it anyway. Goodbye.
-I knew you would, but I...
165
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:46,252
It's a beautiful day at the beach,
and I feel like flying a kite.
166
00:11:46,757 --> 00:11:47,815
Out of my ass!
167
00:11:50,561 --> 00:11:52,654
I just lost a shitload of fans.
168
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,821
But I gained four in Key West.
169
00:11:59,837 --> 00:12:00,997
Oh, man.
170
00:12:01,472 --> 00:12:03,667
Sand in the Vaseline now.
171
00:12:06,777 --> 00:12:07,971
There you go.
172
00:12:08,512 --> 00:12:10,207
Ape is going to hate this one.
173
00:12:11,248 --> 00:12:12,442
Get it in there, buddy!
174
00:12:12,549 --> 00:12:14,016
-I'm trying!
-I can't do this.
175
00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:15,851
What's going on back there?
176
00:12:16,053 --> 00:12:17,816
-Fucking freak!
-Check this. Chris, check.
177
00:12:17,921 --> 00:12:19,320
-What's the ball count there, dude?
-I can't do this.
178
00:12:19,423 --> 00:12:21,823
-What's the ball count, Chris?
-All right, I'll tell you the ball count.
179
00:12:21,925 --> 00:12:23,324
Hold on. I'll tell you guys the ball count.
180
00:12:23,427 --> 00:12:24,451
Take the ball count,
181
00:12:24,561 --> 00:12:26,961
-and just agree that it's good.
-It's...
182
00:12:27,064 --> 00:12:29,157
-It's three balls.
-One more to go!
183
00:12:29,366 --> 00:12:30,355
-Come on.
-One more to go.
184
00:12:30,467 --> 00:12:32,867
One more, Bam. One more.
185
00:12:34,638 --> 00:12:36,333
-I don't need any help.
-Push it in!
186
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,634
-Time to go!
-I got it.
187
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,435
-Okay, it's ready.
-This is just like a fucking pirate...
188
00:12:40,544 --> 00:12:42,910
-It's fucking in! It's all in!
-I'm impressed.
189
00:12:43,247 --> 00:12:44,874
I'm impressed, too. I'm impressed.
190
00:12:45,382 --> 00:12:46,906
Fly the fucking kite!
191
00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:49,877
Fly the kite! Fly the fucking kite!
192
00:12:50,054 --> 00:12:51,521
Fly the kite!
193
00:12:51,622 --> 00:12:53,419
-You ready?
-Fly the kite!
194
00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,219
Here goes the kite!
195
00:12:58,762 --> 00:13:00,093
Pull it out!
196
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,862
Get them out! Get them out!
197
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:08,364
Get them out!
198
00:13:10,607 --> 00:13:11,596
Pull it out!
199
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:15,636
No way!
200
00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:17,178
What happened?
201
00:13:21,585 --> 00:13:23,678
I didn't pull it out.
That was Mother Nature.
202
00:13:26,023 --> 00:13:27,581
I saw a...
203
00:13:27,691 --> 00:13:29,124
Let's see if there's shit on them.
204
00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:33,858
Steve-O, is there shit on it?
205
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,198
Yeah.
206
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:42,133
All the other stuff, like getting
dicks branded on your ass, is funny.
207
00:13:43,941 --> 00:13:45,875
Even the golden dildo up the ass,
that's hilarious.
208
00:13:45,976 --> 00:13:50,504
But, like, anal beads going out
of your ass, from a kite, on the beach?
209
00:13:50,781 --> 00:13:54,342
There's just something
a little too shady about that.
210
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,619
I was under the influence
of alcoholic beverages
211
00:13:58,722 --> 00:14:01,316
and I thought it was
a good idea at the time.
212
00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:04,688
Miller High Life!
213
00:14:24,915 --> 00:14:26,314
I love that we're scared.
214
00:14:37,194 --> 00:14:39,355
That bull's crazy, Wee Man.
215
00:15:01,785 --> 00:15:03,776
Oh shit! Now your cape's gone.
216
00:15:39,423 --> 00:15:40,981
Fuck that.
217
00:15:43,961 --> 00:15:46,191
We're at Ape and Phil's house,
and I'm going to surprise them
218
00:15:46,296 --> 00:15:47,991
with this big honking bazooka.
219
00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:50,929
-Ape, hit the deck!
-Hey!
220
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,594
-Why? What? What is that?
-Hit the fucking deck!
221
00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,364
What...
222
00:16:00,010 --> 00:16:02,137
-Bam!
-Fire in the hole!
223
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,036
What was that?
224
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:07,350
-Check my heart rate, somebody.
-We're burning!
225
00:16:07,451 --> 00:16:08,975
-There's a fucking fire!
-190 over 110 or something.
226
00:16:09,086 --> 00:16:10,951
Where? Where?
227
00:16:12,289 --> 00:16:13,256
Bam!
228
00:16:13,991 --> 00:16:15,856
-What?
-Look at the carpet.
229
00:16:15,959 --> 00:16:17,085
The carpet's all melted.
230
00:16:17,694 --> 00:16:18,991
Dico shot that one.
231
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,523
Yeah, that was Dico's,
'cause he didn't have...
232
00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:22,826
You're kind of like not hearing
what I'm saying.
233
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:24,560
I'm saying the carpet's melted.
234
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,198
-Yeah but that wasn't me.
-That was Dico's.
235
00:16:26,303 --> 00:16:27,634
I fired a bazooka, he fired a rocket.
236
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:30,468
I don't care who it was! The carpet's...
Who's firing this in the house?
237
00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:32,201
That was Dico,
'cause he fired the rocket.
238
00:16:32,309 --> 00:16:33,867
That's a rocket. He did a bazooka.
239
00:16:33,977 --> 00:16:35,774
-Yelling at me is pointless.
-Yeah, it is. 'Cause he...
240
00:16:35,879 --> 00:16:37,176
-You know what?
-He did the carpet.
241
00:16:37,281 --> 00:16:39,249
-It's unfair to yell at me, 'cause l...
-And I put it out.
242
00:16:39,349 --> 00:16:40,839
Here. There's your rocket back.
I put it out.
243
00:16:40,951 --> 00:16:43,545
-I was here to help.
-I'm so tired of burned-up carpet.
244
00:16:44,321 --> 00:16:46,152
It's not my fault, Ape.
We were jamming music so much,
245
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,780
we just wanted to rock it.
246
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,757
I dare you to push that shit over.
247
00:17:11,848 --> 00:17:13,008
Unlock it!
248
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:16,044
Unlock it, I'll let you out.
All right, buddy?
249
00:17:16,353 --> 00:17:17,877
I'm sorry. I love you, bro.
250
00:17:18,221 --> 00:17:20,121
Just unlock it. I'll get you out of there.
251
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,454
Come on, Bam, unlock it.
252
00:17:24,428 --> 00:17:25,861
I so didn't even start.
253
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:28,829
I'm so sorry, buddy.
I didn't mean to do it.
254
00:17:32,736 --> 00:17:34,966
You know, you just stirred up
so much shit in there.
255
00:17:35,072 --> 00:17:37,233
Oh, God!
256
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,576
When we're shooting, everyone's
getting fucked with, all the time.
257
00:17:40,944 --> 00:17:42,343
Including myself.
258
00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:45,642
Oh, fuck!
259
00:17:47,451 --> 00:17:51,353
And it got a little much,
where Tremaine couldn't even...
260
00:17:52,022 --> 00:17:54,149
Couldn't even shoot anything on the set,
because I was just...
261
00:17:54,257 --> 00:17:55,554
I could not stop.
262
00:17:58,862 --> 00:18:01,160
Dude, sorry. Sorry, Jeff.
263
00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:03,697
It was so uncomfortable that l
264
00:18:04,301 --> 00:18:05,700
had to stand with my back to something,
265
00:18:05,802 --> 00:18:08,566
so I could just see
anything coming at me.
266
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,571
Yeah, it's tough some days, man.
267
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,176
This is a crab on a C-clamp.
268
00:18:14,544 --> 00:18:17,877
These C-clamps don't feel good,
especially on your ass.
269
00:18:19,916 --> 00:18:21,747
Or the back of the arm. Oh, my God!
270
00:18:22,386 --> 00:18:24,286
It's going to feel really bad
on the back of the arm.
271
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,458
-Fuck!
-Fuck! Damn! Shit!
272
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,957
-You've been crabbed!
-It's all right.
273
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,200
I'd love to get crabs from Knoxville.
274
00:18:43,273 --> 00:18:45,400
-Bitch!
-Rolling.
275
00:18:52,482 --> 00:18:53,449
Oh, fuck.
276
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:57,817
Fuck!
277
00:18:59,656 --> 00:19:01,954
Don't get me with that thing.
I think I got it enough.
278
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,026
Dude, you want these things to the left?
279
00:19:08,198 --> 00:19:10,098
I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.
280
00:19:10,434 --> 00:19:12,868
-I am fucking done. I'm fucking done.
-That's for the porta-potty.
281
00:19:12,969 --> 00:19:14,664
-I'm done.
-That's for the...
282
00:19:15,439 --> 00:19:17,839
-I'm fucking done.
-Here. Here!
283
00:19:17,941 --> 00:19:20,842
-Come here. I'll get it. I'll get it.
-Watch out.
284
00:19:20,944 --> 00:19:23,913
-Rape face! Rape face!
-He was stuck in the porta-potty.
285
00:19:24,114 --> 00:19:25,206
Oh, my God.
286
00:19:25,515 --> 00:19:28,075
-Kick his ass.
-Kick his ass, Preston, fuck!
287
00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:30,619
I'm done with that. I'm done.
288
00:19:31,788 --> 00:19:33,983
That's what I said. They play
too many practical jokes.
289
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,285
You can't get no rest
around these guys.
290
00:19:36,393 --> 00:19:37,417
Don't fall asleep.
291
00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:39,722
Hell, no. You better not
fall asleep around Jackass.
292
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,678
Best part was
293
00:19:58,215 --> 00:20:02,276
when we sprayed him
with the water guns, in the cooler.
294
00:20:04,354 --> 00:20:06,914
Yeah, that was my best part, too.
295
00:20:07,023 --> 00:20:10,481
Well, we filled the water guns up
with pee, and we sprayed everybody.
296
00:20:12,195 --> 00:20:13,355
What's going on?
297
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,454
I'm pissing into this water gun,
298
00:20:15,565 --> 00:20:18,830
and I'm going to jump in the cooler
and surprise the bros.
299
00:20:38,054 --> 00:20:40,750
-Where the beers at? Rock 'n' roll.
-I think it's one of those coolers.
300
00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:44,458
I really don't drink Miller, but I'm going
to have to make an exception.
301
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:53,469
Get you a drink, man. Join the party.
302
00:20:54,037 --> 00:20:55,561
Captain Morgan on the house.
303
00:20:56,406 --> 00:20:58,772
-Oh, shit!
-Yeah, buddy!
304
00:21:00,810 --> 00:21:03,370
That don't taste like Captain Morgan!
305
00:21:05,415 --> 00:21:06,814
It tastes like piss.
306
00:21:16,259 --> 00:21:18,090
Drink up, buddy.
307
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,941
-I think that was...
-Oh, man!
308
00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:36,278
Last time I checked, it was piss.
309
00:21:36,913 --> 00:21:39,507
Is this piss? Oh, it is piss, isn't it?
310
00:21:39,649 --> 00:21:41,207
Whose piss?
Get away from me, little guy.
311
00:21:41,318 --> 00:21:42,285
Don't waste it all.
312
00:21:42,752 --> 00:21:45,812
What about when the raft
went off in your Lambo?
313
00:21:46,856 --> 00:21:48,915
Oh, God. Yeah.
314
00:21:50,093 --> 00:21:53,494
A raft that instantly inflates to, like,
315
00:21:53,597 --> 00:21:55,360
ten by seven, or some shit,
316
00:21:55,465 --> 00:21:56,700
in a Lamborghini
where the window is this wide as it is.
317
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:58,327
in a Lamborghini
where the window is this wide as it is.
318
00:22:07,844 --> 00:22:10,176
I can just see the whole...
The window was cracking,
319
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,145
the sunroof was popping out.
320
00:22:12,882 --> 00:22:16,340
Yeah, I was like, "This sucks so bad. "
321
00:22:16,653 --> 00:22:18,314
I think your windshield's messed up.
322
00:22:19,556 --> 00:22:20,682
Yeah, that was...
323
00:22:21,791 --> 00:22:24,351
Should have thought that one through
a little bit better, dudes.
324
00:22:28,832 --> 00:22:33,292
-I played, like, maybe two weeks ago.
-Do you honestly play?
325
00:22:33,403 --> 00:22:34,563
-Yeah.
-Really?
326
00:22:34,871 --> 00:22:37,135
-All right.
-What do you say
327
00:22:37,474 --> 00:22:39,101
I bang one out of your ass?
328
00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:41,501
I think we can do it.
329
00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:43,476
-Let me try it out of your ass.
-Awesome.
330
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:44,910
Let's get it... Put it in his ass.
331
00:22:45,015 --> 00:22:46,277
You guys are pricks.
332
00:22:48,351 --> 00:22:49,375
-All right.
-Pull up your cardigan.
333
00:22:49,686 --> 00:22:51,449
-Oh, my...
-All right.
334
00:22:52,555 --> 00:22:55,752
Let's see this kick-ass form
that you're talking about.
335
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:03,026
-Oh, dude! Dude. Dude.
-Get me up!
336
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,391
You okay?
337
00:23:04,501 --> 00:23:06,833
-You did good.
-You asshole, you didn't even try, man.
338
00:23:06,936 --> 00:23:08,460
-You suck at golf.
-No. It was good.
339
00:23:08,571 --> 00:23:10,698
-Show the camera your hole in the butt.
-Show the hole in the butt.
340
00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:11,967
Thank you, sir.
341
00:23:18,748 --> 00:23:19,942
That was great.
342
00:23:23,353 --> 00:23:25,821
Hey, sir. Would you mind
343
00:23:25,922 --> 00:23:28,516
driving a golf ball off my friend's crotch?
344
00:23:29,059 --> 00:23:30,219
If we get a long tee.
345
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,385
-Can you hit one out of his pee-pee?
-Yeah, I'll try.
346
00:23:33,897 --> 00:23:34,864
Oh, man.
347
00:23:35,065 --> 00:23:36,862
-This is golfing.
-Yeah, yeah.
348
00:23:37,901 --> 00:23:39,698
-Oh, man.
-Oh, my God.
349
00:23:39,803 --> 00:23:41,600
-Oh, man.
-Try to get your face out of the way.
350
00:23:41,705 --> 00:23:44,299
Just take a deep breath. Easy up, bub.
351
00:23:44,407 --> 00:23:46,307
-All right?
-Oh, my God.
352
00:23:47,310 --> 00:23:49,175
All right, sir. Do your worst.
353
00:23:49,279 --> 00:23:50,576
Best! Sorry.
354
00:23:56,152 --> 00:23:57,141
Oh, my God!
355
00:23:57,253 --> 00:23:58,948
-He hit it after it fell off.
-Dude, I saw the ball
356
00:23:59,055 --> 00:24:00,522
Iike an inch away from my face.
357
00:24:00,623 --> 00:24:02,284
Yeah, I don't know how he hit it
when it was falling.
358
00:24:02,592 --> 00:24:04,321
-That was great.
-Wow. Good hit.
359
00:24:04,461 --> 00:24:06,190
-Man.
-That was kick-ass.
360
00:24:09,566 --> 00:24:12,034
Please hit the idiots. Pass it on.
361
00:24:12,769 --> 00:24:14,566
-Hit the idiots. Pass it on.
-Please hit the idiots.
362
00:24:14,671 --> 00:24:15,763
Pass it on.
363
00:24:16,272 --> 00:24:17,739
You're going to get hit, midget.
364
00:24:17,907 --> 00:24:19,169
There went one.
365
00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:24,680
Man, these guys are...
366
00:24:25,615 --> 00:24:26,604
Hit them!
367
00:24:28,685 --> 00:24:30,118
Look at Wee Man.
368
00:24:31,321 --> 00:24:32,481
What jerks.
369
00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:35,985
Wow.
370
00:24:39,262 --> 00:24:40,991
-He got it right in the dick.
-Was it good?
371
00:24:41,131 --> 00:24:42,428
That's great.
372
00:24:44,267 --> 00:24:47,725
So one of the things that led
to the making of Number Two
373
00:24:47,837 --> 00:24:49,532
was when I went to Russia
with the Wildboyz,
374
00:24:49,639 --> 00:24:52,130
and Tremaine saw that
I was pretty excited to shoot.
375
00:24:52,342 --> 00:24:55,334
And the first thing I shot in Russia was
when we went to Saint Petersburg
376
00:24:55,445 --> 00:25:02,078
and there was some Russian
sex museum/prostate exam clinic.
377
00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:08,122
"Oh great! That sounds great!
Yeah, let's go shoot it tomorrow! Great!"
378
00:25:09,826 --> 00:25:12,659
But then when we got there,
they told me what they wanted me to do.
379
00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:14,859
Holy...
380
00:25:17,934 --> 00:25:19,367
You're just going to go face-first.
381
00:25:20,503 --> 00:25:22,937
-You can put off your trousers.
-You want my trousers?
382
00:25:23,039 --> 00:25:25,132
Yes. And we shall observe you.
383
00:25:26,643 --> 00:25:29,703
Come here, and put on your knees.
384
00:25:29,879 --> 00:25:32,541
-Okay. Do I need to lose the boxers?
-Just... Just...
385
00:25:32,649 --> 00:25:36,107
Sometime later. Just... Now you are...
386
00:25:36,820 --> 00:25:38,617
-Okay.
-Knees here.
387
00:25:38,721 --> 00:25:40,712
-Okay.
-Knees here.
388
00:25:40,824 --> 00:25:43,190
And elbows. Elbows here.
389
00:25:43,293 --> 00:25:46,751
And also,
you have to put off your trousers.
390
00:25:47,430 --> 00:25:50,558
-Just enough.
-No Sacagawea.
391
00:25:50,667 --> 00:25:54,569
Just enough. These nurses
may do the massage of prostate.
392
00:25:54,671 --> 00:25:57,401
-What? What?
-Yeah.
393
00:25:57,540 --> 00:26:00,873
So... No, wait a second!
Why is he doing it?
394
00:26:00,977 --> 00:26:03,741
-It's the...
-lt is a special doctor procedure.
395
00:26:04,180 --> 00:26:08,173
It may... Only the doctor can
do the massage of prostate.
396
00:26:08,284 --> 00:26:09,649
Not nurse, but doctor.
397
00:26:10,587 --> 00:26:11,849
No, no, no, no.
398
00:26:11,955 --> 00:26:14,014
You guys just did
the fucking Texas switch.
399
00:26:14,357 --> 00:26:15,688
You told me the nurse was going to...
400
00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:18,589
-Rectal examination for prostate...
-I don't care about...
401
00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:21,388
I don't care about a massage
from the doc.
402
00:26:22,265 --> 00:26:25,792
But, it must be done by doctor.
403
00:26:25,902 --> 00:26:26,891
Calm down.
404
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:30,871
-There's no calming down.
-No, no. There is. You're fine.
405
00:26:37,714 --> 00:26:40,239
-That's too far.
-No, no, no.
406
00:26:41,417 --> 00:26:44,113
- All right, he's got to stop. It hurts.
-Oh, my God!
407
00:26:45,388 --> 00:26:46,412
Does it feel good?
408
00:26:46,522 --> 00:26:48,456
-No, it doesn't feel good.
-It's a massage.
409
00:26:51,728 --> 00:26:53,958
Let's... Don't make eye contact.
410
00:26:54,063 --> 00:26:56,031
Tell the doc not to make eye contact.
411
00:26:56,132 --> 00:26:59,397
-Just relax, and try to enjoy it.
-Relax. Try to enjoy, yes?
412
00:26:59,802 --> 00:27:02,327
That will do. That will do. That's all.
413
00:27:02,438 --> 00:27:03,905
-That's good.
-That's all.
414
00:27:04,574 --> 00:27:07,236
Oh, my God. He put two digits in you.
415
00:27:07,911 --> 00:27:10,004
-Come on, that felt good, right?
-You are the champion.
416
00:27:10,313 --> 00:27:12,679
-You are.
-Boy, did I get roped into this one.
417
00:27:12,782 --> 00:27:14,113
-You are the champion.
-I won nothing!
418
00:27:14,217 --> 00:27:15,184
You're the champion.
419
00:27:17,186 --> 00:27:18,778
I'm having a great time here.
420
00:27:19,923 --> 00:27:22,050
-Am I okay?
-Okay, okay.
421
00:27:24,093 --> 00:27:27,859
It's okay. There is no big problem,
but some...
422
00:27:27,964 --> 00:27:30,956
Little loose in your prostate.
423
00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:32,364
He's loose.
424
00:27:33,236 --> 00:27:37,195
After I was anally probed
by a device and a full-grown man...
425
00:27:38,007 --> 00:27:39,167
Hello, ma'am.
426
00:27:39,275 --> 00:27:41,243
...I...
427
00:27:41,344 --> 00:27:43,312
There was an idea for me to go
428
00:27:43,413 --> 00:27:46,314
donate sperm, so they could
you know, assess
429
00:27:47,083 --> 00:27:48,175
my virility.
430
00:27:48,718 --> 00:27:52,745
So, in this room, you are to masturbate,
431
00:27:53,022 --> 00:27:55,513
and to collect your sperm for analysis.
432
00:27:55,758 --> 00:27:58,352
For analysis. Please follow the nurse.
433
00:27:58,728 --> 00:27:59,752
Hi.
434
00:27:59,862 --> 00:28:03,025
How many times have we joked around
about going to a clinic together?
435
00:28:04,667 --> 00:28:06,225
You guys aren't coming in here.
436
00:28:06,703 --> 00:28:07,761
You guys are out.
437
00:28:08,271 --> 00:28:09,795
That's a very small cup.
438
00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:14,167
Yeah, but... Okay, I'll try to hit it.
439
00:28:18,648 --> 00:28:20,383
And so I went in a room,
and tried to, you know,
440
00:28:20,383 --> 00:28:21,975
And so I went in a room,
and tried to, you know,
441
00:28:22,185 --> 00:28:24,085
give them the sperm they wanted.
442
00:28:24,354 --> 00:28:27,653
But it's tough when you got
four of your friends outside the door
443
00:28:27,757 --> 00:28:30,726
Iistening to you try to give sperm.
444
00:28:31,094 --> 00:28:32,959
It really blows your concentration.
445
00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:35,764
Quit giggling!
446
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,067
So, "golden nuggets"...
447
00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:44,072
I can't even get a fucking hard-on.
448
00:28:44,707 --> 00:28:48,165
And for those of you who don't know,
you can produce sperm with a softie.
449
00:28:49,012 --> 00:28:51,242
Just... You got to pull quick.
450
00:28:56,119 --> 00:28:57,245
So, you did it.
451
00:28:58,187 --> 00:29:00,382
It took forever.
452
00:29:00,523 --> 00:29:02,582
I don't know if you want to...
I kind of missed a little.
453
00:29:02,692 --> 00:29:04,489
Who wants to... Who's...
454
00:29:10,299 --> 00:29:11,926
No, no, come on... Hey! No! No!
455
00:29:15,805 --> 00:29:18,171
Look at him! Kosick's... Look at Kosick!
456
00:29:20,777 --> 00:29:23,746
-lt was water.
-Funny joke.
457
00:29:24,881 --> 00:29:27,441
It's about Rick Kosick. It's called
Ricky Did the Boogie-Woogie.
458
00:29:28,985 --> 00:29:30,976
We met Ricky-Wicky
In the spring of '69
459
00:29:31,087 --> 00:29:32,315
He loved to dance the boogie-woogie
460
00:29:32,422 --> 00:29:33,616
And he boogie-woogied fine
461
00:29:33,723 --> 00:29:35,953
Now it's 1987
He's a little bit older
462
00:29:36,059 --> 00:29:38,755
He's traded his Camaro
For a crimson Dodge...
463
00:29:42,732 --> 00:29:46,634
He boogie-woogie all night
Boogie...
464
00:29:51,207 --> 00:29:54,301
We went to do this thing
where Steve-O was going to get
465
00:29:55,044 --> 00:29:57,103
a condom bit out of his ass,
466
00:29:57,447 --> 00:30:00,746
from between his butt cheeks,
by a rattlesnake.
467
00:30:01,050 --> 00:30:04,508
A crazy one, too. The thing was gnarly,
and mad and mean.
468
00:30:04,821 --> 00:30:07,016
These are the fangs of the eastern
diamondback rattlesnake.
469
00:30:07,123 --> 00:30:11,219
-This is what injects the venom into you.
-There goes a little more.
470
00:30:13,763 --> 00:30:14,855
-That's great.
-Ready, Steve-O?
471
00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:20,194
Don't fuck with the eastern
diamondback rattlesnake
472
00:30:20,303 --> 00:30:21,895
without wearing a condom.
473
00:30:22,004 --> 00:30:25,531
I'm Steve-O,
and this is the Rattlesnake Salad Toss.
474
00:30:32,482 --> 00:30:35,451
Move your ass that way.
You got it. There you go.
475
00:30:37,286 --> 00:30:39,982
Come back. Ass back. Ass back.
476
00:30:40,423 --> 00:30:43,324
-Back up.
-Why am I backing up to a rattlesnake?
477
00:30:45,361 --> 00:30:46,328
This is an experiment.
478
00:30:46,429 --> 00:30:49,398
It's so important to get a rattlesnake
to bite something out of my butt!
479
00:30:49,565 --> 00:30:53,262
All right. But you have to put
the condom towards the snake.
480
00:30:55,238 --> 00:30:56,466
That was nice.
481
00:30:56,672 --> 00:30:58,970
Bend down. Bend over. Bend over.
482
00:31:07,083 --> 00:31:08,778
He's still got the condom in his mouth.
483
00:31:09,285 --> 00:31:10,775
So after Jackass: The Movie,
484
00:31:10,887 --> 00:31:13,651
we started making a show called
Wildboyz with Chris and Steve-O,
485
00:31:13,756 --> 00:31:16,190
and we shot some of the most amazing
stuff we've ever made.
486
00:31:16,492 --> 00:31:19,017
And so one of the ideas
with Number Two was to
487
00:31:19,128 --> 00:31:22,120
recreate some of the best things
we shot for Wildboyz.
488
00:31:22,231 --> 00:31:24,028
Unfortunately, it didn't always work out.
489
00:31:25,101 --> 00:31:28,559
I'm Chris Pontius, and my day
is about to take a turn for the worse.
490
00:31:28,938 --> 00:31:29,905
Here's why.
491
00:31:30,006 --> 00:31:33,305
Chris, a snapping turtle's about
to bite your nose.
492
00:31:35,878 --> 00:31:37,869
Oh, Jesus...
493
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:40,448
-Well, that fucking sucked.
-You got it good.
494
00:31:40,550 --> 00:31:42,677
Oh my God! You got it so good.
495
00:31:43,019 --> 00:31:44,748
Dude, you're like
Rudolph the Red-Nosed...
496
00:31:44,854 --> 00:31:45,912
Reindeer!
497
00:31:48,558 --> 00:31:50,116
That's so beautiful.
498
00:31:50,226 --> 00:31:51,921
T-nigs, that snapping turtle
tore him up, huh?
499
00:31:52,028 --> 00:31:55,395
Oh yeah! Guess what? If I was going
to do the snapping turtle thing,
500
00:31:56,098 --> 00:31:57,759
I wouldn't do it on my nose.
501
00:31:57,867 --> 00:31:59,425
Where would you do it?
On your pecker?
502
00:31:59,535 --> 00:32:00,934
Absolutely.
503
00:32:02,138 --> 00:32:04,504
So what became of that?
Did we even air that on the movie?
504
00:32:04,607 --> 00:32:06,734
-Or are we putting that in 2.5?
-Yeah.
505
00:32:06,876 --> 00:32:08,844
Jesus! That...
506
00:32:10,079 --> 00:32:11,068
All right.
507
00:32:11,447 --> 00:32:15,178
One of the most successful places
we ever went with Wildboyz was lndia.
508
00:32:15,451 --> 00:32:17,783
Jeff wanted to go back to lndia because,
509
00:32:17,887 --> 00:32:20,651
I don't know, that's where he found
his spirit animal or something.
510
00:32:20,756 --> 00:32:22,053
I don't know.
511
00:32:22,158 --> 00:32:23,591
India was awesome.
512
00:32:23,693 --> 00:32:29,029
It is a beautiful country filled with
rich culture and a wonderful heritage.
513
00:32:30,266 --> 00:32:31,233
No, I hated it,
514
00:32:31,334 --> 00:32:34,326
and I'm pretty sure I'm the fattest
person, ever, in the history of lndia.
515
00:32:36,339 --> 00:32:40,605
The production company got
about 20 other little people together.
516
00:32:40,710 --> 00:32:41,699
Hello, there.
517
00:32:41,811 --> 00:32:44,143
They probably didn't know
what they were gonna be doing.
518
00:32:44,247 --> 00:32:45,214
What's up? Wee Man.
519
00:32:45,314 --> 00:32:48,306
The next thing you know,
they're all getting painted blue
520
00:32:48,417 --> 00:32:50,544
and wearing orange wigs.
521
00:32:51,487 --> 00:32:55,685
And it was great. I've never been
with that many little people,
522
00:32:55,791 --> 00:32:57,884
filming one big thing at once,
523
00:32:58,261 --> 00:32:59,228
and it was awesome.
524
00:32:59,996 --> 00:33:02,590
We shot with the man with
the longest fingernails in the world.
525
00:33:03,366 --> 00:33:07,769
And he's been growing these things
for like, I don't know, 50 years.
526
00:33:07,870 --> 00:33:10,031
And he carries them around...
He puts, like, a bag over them
527
00:33:10,139 --> 00:33:12,505
that almost looks like
he's got a rifle in his hand.
528
00:33:12,608 --> 00:33:14,542
And so, he agreed to shoot with us.
529
00:33:14,644 --> 00:33:16,509
But he didn't really know
what Jackass was,
530
00:33:16,612 --> 00:33:18,512
and we didn't really know
what to do with him.
531
00:33:20,516 --> 00:33:22,074
It's Miller time.
532
00:33:29,125 --> 00:33:30,217
Oh, God.
533
00:33:30,326 --> 00:33:32,851
Oh, they're coming right off
his fingertips.
534
00:33:35,331 --> 00:33:38,323
He probably hasn't washed those things
in 50 years, O.
535
00:33:46,409 --> 00:33:47,376
Jesus!
536
00:33:55,584 --> 00:33:59,611
Steve-O, I told you no!
It offends the ladies!
537
00:33:59,755 --> 00:34:02,280
No, wait! Where you going?
You can't leave the set!
538
00:34:04,694 --> 00:34:06,059
I'm sorry, ladies.
539
00:34:06,796 --> 00:34:08,354
Thank you, Shridhar.
540
00:34:09,298 --> 00:34:10,765
Thank you, Shridhar.
541
00:34:11,667 --> 00:34:13,157
So we're in lndia, and I decide,
542
00:34:13,269 --> 00:34:18,297
"All right. Well, let's sort of combine
all the lndian stereotypes into one bit."
543
00:34:18,407 --> 00:34:20,534
So, we were like, "All right.
Let's get a bed of nails.
544
00:34:20,643 --> 00:34:23,237
"And let's get some snake charmers,
and, oh, shit, let's get an elephant,
545
00:34:23,346 --> 00:34:24,506
"put the elephant in the background. "
546
00:34:24,613 --> 00:34:27,582
And so, one by one,
I'm going through each cast member.
547
00:34:27,683 --> 00:34:29,742
I'm like, "Hey, Steve-O, you wanna lay
on the bed of nails?"
548
00:34:29,852 --> 00:34:33,083
"Oh, no, dude, I did that for Wildboyz.
I don't wanna do that."
549
00:34:33,189 --> 00:34:36,784
Basically, it gets down to Ehren.
Ehren's always the last guy.
550
00:34:36,892 --> 00:34:41,056
And this one gets down to Ehren.
And he says no.
551
00:34:41,163 --> 00:34:43,825
And I'm like, "Ehren, please,
you're the last guy I can ask.
552
00:34:43,933 --> 00:34:45,161
"Just come over here and look at it."
553
00:34:45,267 --> 00:34:48,100
Go ahead and stick it up your ass.
554
00:34:48,204 --> 00:34:52,197
Dude, look at this. A rusty nail in lndia,
and he wants me to lay on that shit. No!
555
00:34:52,308 --> 00:34:55,573
-Why don't you sit on it and show us?
-I sat on it!
556
00:34:55,678 --> 00:35:00,172
And Trip sits on it, and he fucking gets
punctured with a rusty nail!
557
00:35:00,282 --> 00:35:01,442
Through his fucking hand!
558
00:35:01,550 --> 00:35:03,711
Tetanus here in lndia.
Are you kidding me?
559
00:35:03,819 --> 00:35:04,786
Fuck off!
560
00:35:05,121 --> 00:35:07,351
Crazy, dude. I ain't doing that shit.
561
00:35:08,124 --> 00:35:09,182
Bullshit.
562
00:35:11,394 --> 00:35:15,558
I'm Danger Ehren, and this is
the bed of nails, with snakes.
563
00:35:17,266 --> 00:35:18,893
You got it, Dange.
564
00:35:19,668 --> 00:35:22,933
Don't even worry about the cobras, man.
Chris has your back.
565
00:35:25,007 --> 00:35:26,668
-I do?
-Yeah.
566
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,605
You got it, dude. This is... Just...
567
00:35:34,550 --> 00:35:35,539
Nice and even.
568
00:35:35,651 --> 00:35:37,619
This feels like it's gonna go
right up my ass.
569
00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:38,812
No, it isn't. Put your back...
570
00:35:39,188 --> 00:35:41,952
It's a bed, Danger.
You're supposed to lay on it.
571
00:35:42,525 --> 00:35:43,359
-Okay.
-Dude, right on your legs.
572
00:35:43,359 --> 00:35:44,257
-Okay.
-Dude, right on your legs.
573
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,520
On your legs.
574
00:35:45,628 --> 00:35:47,061
And then this one.
575
00:35:47,763 --> 00:35:48,787
Hold on!
576
00:35:48,898 --> 00:35:50,729
The more you spread your weight out,
the less it's gonna hurt.
577
00:35:50,833 --> 00:35:52,528
-Yeah, that's what you got to do.
-Put your leg down.
578
00:35:52,635 --> 00:35:53,727
Hold on!
579
00:35:53,836 --> 00:35:55,394
What don't you understand
about "put your leg down"?
580
00:35:55,504 --> 00:35:57,972
I'm on a bed of fucking nails, man!
581
00:35:59,141 --> 00:36:00,199
Fuck!
582
00:36:00,876 --> 00:36:03,242
Now on your turban, too.
583
00:36:03,345 --> 00:36:05,905
Put those motherfuckers on!
584
00:36:07,817 --> 00:36:08,806
Oh, shit!
585
00:36:08,918 --> 00:36:10,510
Relax, Ehren. They're just cobras.
586
00:36:10,619 --> 00:36:13,679
Oh, God. No, not between the legs!
587
00:36:13,789 --> 00:36:16,189
Oh! Fuck, man! No fucking way!
588
00:36:18,761 --> 00:36:22,595
There's a fucking snake on my chest,
589
00:36:23,232 --> 00:36:25,063
and I'm on nails right now.
590
00:36:26,268 --> 00:36:28,759
-Are you sad?
-I'm not happy.
591
00:36:30,206 --> 00:36:33,607
-But you like the music.
-Oh, this fucking hurts!
592
00:36:36,111 --> 00:36:39,603
Oh, shit. Shit.
593
00:36:39,715 --> 00:36:44,015
Get me off of here. Get me off of here.
I'm serious. Please.
594
00:36:44,687 --> 00:36:48,179
Please. I don't care... Please. Please.
595
00:36:49,291 --> 00:36:53,955
Jeff, get me the fuck off
of this bed of fucking nails right now.
596
00:36:54,063 --> 00:36:56,429
-Take the snakes off!
-All right, fine.
597
00:36:57,533 --> 00:36:58,625
Please...
598
00:36:59,435 --> 00:37:01,801
I'm so over this right now. Please.
599
00:37:01,904 --> 00:37:03,235
This is not fun!
600
00:37:03,339 --> 00:37:06,866
Seriously, I need to stop. Now!
601
00:37:06,976 --> 00:37:08,102
Please.
602
00:37:09,078 --> 00:37:10,875
-All right!
-Fuck!
603
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,172
Fuck!
604
00:37:13,616 --> 00:37:16,084
-Want to do one more song?
-Wait... Wait, no.
605
00:37:17,553 --> 00:37:18,884
You got it, dude.
606
00:37:19,522 --> 00:37:20,750
All right, a round of applause.
607
00:37:20,856 --> 00:37:23,188
Wait, wait, wait. I still need help.
608
00:37:25,394 --> 00:37:26,520
-All right, dude.
-You do need help.
609
00:37:26,629 --> 00:37:28,790
You're gonna have to pull me up now.
610
00:37:29,265 --> 00:37:31,665
Seriously, don't drop me or anything.
611
00:37:31,767 --> 00:37:32,825
Oh, look at that.
612
00:37:32,935 --> 00:37:34,527
Holy moly!
613
00:37:35,538 --> 00:37:38,098
And remember, safety first.
614
00:37:39,742 --> 00:37:41,710
Jesus. I thought we were gonna
finally get rid of him.
615
00:37:41,810 --> 00:37:43,710
-All right!
-Yeah!
616
00:37:48,284 --> 00:37:51,913
The ultimate failed bit that we shot
for Number Two
617
00:37:52,021 --> 00:37:53,818
was this bit that we shot for Wildboyz
618
00:37:53,923 --> 00:37:57,620
where we got this gold
from this tribe called the Aghoris.
619
00:37:57,993 --> 00:38:00,553
The Aghoris are
this religious sect in lndia
620
00:38:00,663 --> 00:38:03,598
that believe
they can reach enlightenment
621
00:38:03,699 --> 00:38:08,295
by throwing themselves
into all things that are, like,
622
00:38:08,737 --> 00:38:09,829
bad, basically.
623
00:38:09,939 --> 00:38:12,100
They eat fucking human flesh.
624
00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:14,971
They steal dead bodies out of graves
and eat them.
625
00:38:15,077 --> 00:38:18,069
They want to antique you
with fucking cremated human ash.
626
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:22,507
They really are a handful. Like, they'll
try to bite you, and suck your blood,
627
00:38:22,618 --> 00:38:25,712
and throw their pee on you,
and all this terrible stuff.
628
00:38:25,821 --> 00:38:28,051
Nobody went into it with a good attitude.
629
00:38:28,157 --> 00:38:29,249
Actually, nobody even went into it,
630
00:38:29,358 --> 00:38:32,054
except for me and Pontius
and Dave England.
631
00:38:32,828 --> 00:38:36,525
We saw these fucked-up dudes on TV
and we decided we had to meet them.
632
00:38:36,632 --> 00:38:37,599
Again.
633
00:38:40,769 --> 00:38:44,000
So the next thing I know,
I'm in a Wildboyz sandwich.
634
00:38:44,139 --> 00:38:46,334
I fucking had this dumbass shirt.
635
00:38:46,442 --> 00:38:48,410
I looked like a fucking tourist,
and I got flip-flops on,
636
00:38:48,510 --> 00:38:49,477
and I'm like, "What the fuck?"
637
00:38:49,578 --> 00:38:55,642
They were all these fucking creepy,
shitty, spastic, skinny Aghoris.
638
00:39:07,730 --> 00:39:10,130
They were out of control when we
filmed with them on Wildboyz.
639
00:39:10,699 --> 00:39:13,224
But they obviously knew it was a movie
this time around.
640
00:39:13,335 --> 00:39:15,803
It's like they really tried to step it up.
641
00:39:16,372 --> 00:39:18,897
Were those the same dudes
from Wildboyz?
642
00:39:22,578 --> 00:39:25,206
One of the guys takes out a knife
and he just starts slicing up his leg.
643
00:39:25,981 --> 00:39:29,974
And I was like, "Wow, that's cool."
Well, it's not really cool.
644
00:39:30,085 --> 00:39:32,451
And he comes over to us
with all the blood and, like...
645
00:39:32,554 --> 00:39:34,920
God. Yeah, we were like, "Fuck this. "
646
00:39:35,024 --> 00:39:37,788
-Watch it, Dave! Watch it, Dave!
-Whoa! Whoa!
647
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,721
Don't, man!
648
00:39:41,196 --> 00:39:45,189
Dude, seriously, I have Aghori-phobia
and I can't handle this.
649
00:39:45,968 --> 00:39:49,426
Okay, what have you got? Guys, please.
He's got blood on his thumb.
650
00:39:49,772 --> 00:39:50,898
Yeah, that's...
651
00:39:51,006 --> 00:39:53,804
-No, no.
-All right! Back to... Everything's cool.
652
00:39:53,976 --> 00:39:55,944
Yeah, let's check some of that...
653
00:39:56,445 --> 00:39:59,744
Be very fucking careful, man.
Go drink that blood or some shit.
654
00:39:59,848 --> 00:40:02,009
Johnny, I'm gonna
fucking smack someone.
655
00:40:03,786 --> 00:40:06,277
Dave England's freaked out, and...
We all were. We were like...
656
00:40:06,655 --> 00:40:09,146
It was just a complete disaster.
657
00:40:09,258 --> 00:40:12,421
And then the next thing you know,
which I think is kind of weak,
658
00:40:12,528 --> 00:40:16,760
one of the gurus just pees in a cup
and he starts drinking it.
659
00:40:16,865 --> 00:40:18,492
And we're like, "Dude!
Drinking piss! That... "
660
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,467
Fucking put it in a snow cone,
then maybe we'll talk.
661
00:40:22,371 --> 00:40:27,365
Welcome to the DVD extras section
of Jackass Number Two.
662
00:40:27,476 --> 00:40:28,534
Oh, my God.
663
00:40:28,844 --> 00:40:32,143
Yeah, so the Aghoris didn't work,
and I decided at that point,
664
00:40:32,247 --> 00:40:35,478
"All right, we're not shooting any more
Wildboyz bits for Jackass. "
665
00:40:38,253 --> 00:40:39,311
What's happening here today, Daniel?
666
00:40:39,421 --> 00:40:42,083
Well, we're gonna take this
40-millimeter grenade launcher,
667
00:40:42,191 --> 00:40:45,058
and put this specialty impact munition
called a REACT lmpact.
668
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,926
REACT stands for "Radiated Energy
Air-Cushioned Trajectile."
669
00:40:49,031 --> 00:40:50,760
It looks like Bam's dick.
670
00:40:51,233 --> 00:40:53,428
Show it!
Come on, pull it out, pull it out.
671
00:40:53,535 --> 00:40:55,332
-Come on.
-Come on, let's see it.
672
00:40:55,437 --> 00:40:58,235
-It's the same thing!
-How would you know?
673
00:40:58,707 --> 00:40:59,674
Look!
674
00:41:03,078 --> 00:41:04,636
You... Screw you guys!
675
00:41:04,747 --> 00:41:07,181
Bam can have that one.
I've got a new one.
676
00:41:08,584 --> 00:41:10,950
So we're gonna shoot this
at about 60 feet,
677
00:41:11,053 --> 00:41:14,784
and it should make a pretty nice impact.
678
00:41:14,890 --> 00:41:16,221
-What're we gonna shoot?
-You.
679
00:41:16,325 --> 00:41:18,657
You're gonna get shot with Bam's dick
in the ass.
680
00:41:18,761 --> 00:41:20,729
-Assume the position.
-Let's go.
681
00:41:22,264 --> 00:41:25,131
Are you ready for the first laugh
when this happens?
682
00:41:38,781 --> 00:41:40,510
Where'd it hit him?
683
00:41:41,283 --> 00:41:42,978
-lt hit him in the butt!
-Where'd it hit him at?
684
00:41:43,085 --> 00:41:44,746
Oh, yeah, it hit me.
685
00:41:44,853 --> 00:41:47,048
-Right in the middle.
-But where was he hit?
686
00:41:47,156 --> 00:41:48,350
-Let's see.
-I'm not fucking with you.
687
00:41:48,457 --> 00:41:49,617
Yeah, we're not touching anything.
688
00:41:49,725 --> 00:41:50,714
-Where?
-Right there.
689
00:41:50,826 --> 00:41:51,918
Oh, right, underneath...
690
00:41:52,027 --> 00:41:54,359
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
691
00:41:55,764 --> 00:41:57,595
How did Bam's dick feel on your ass?
692
00:41:57,699 --> 00:42:00,566
Oh, fuck. I ain't into that,
back-door shenanigans.
693
00:42:03,038 --> 00:42:04,767
-Where'd it hit you?
-Right there.
694
00:42:04,873 --> 00:42:07,603
-Oh, my...
-Oh, look at it now.
695
00:42:07,709 --> 00:42:09,267
Oh, dude, that looks awful.
696
00:42:10,345 --> 00:42:12,210
Oh, my God.
697
00:42:13,148 --> 00:42:15,139
Holy God.
698
00:42:17,953 --> 00:42:18,920
Oh, God.
699
00:42:22,958 --> 00:42:25,483
Oh, my God,
it's right next to your bean bag.
700
00:42:25,828 --> 00:42:28,262
Oh, my God.
701
00:42:28,363 --> 00:42:30,160
Did you have your bean bag out
when he shot?
702
00:42:30,265 --> 00:42:33,723
-Fuck, yeah.
-That's insane!
703
00:42:35,404 --> 00:42:38,339
-How're you doing today?
-I'm not stoked on the whole situation.
704
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,169
-Why?
-Alligators piss me off.
705
00:42:40,275 --> 00:42:43,472
And then there's fucking barbed wire
above it. That sucks.
706
00:42:43,579 --> 00:42:45,342
And then we're going
in this tiny little hole
707
00:42:45,447 --> 00:42:47,472
with pigs that're gonna shit and piss.
708
00:42:47,583 --> 00:42:48,550
That sucks.
709
00:42:48,650 --> 00:42:52,450
Then we go through that, which is...
Gonna get hit by paintballs,
710
00:42:52,554 --> 00:42:54,249
by professional paintballers.
711
00:42:54,356 --> 00:42:55,345
That sucks.
712
00:42:55,457 --> 00:42:57,550
Then we have to drink a spittoon.
713
00:42:57,659 --> 00:42:59,718
And, like, I already have
a barfing problem.
714
00:42:59,828 --> 00:43:03,457
And then I'm gonna do that again
for sure, 'cause that's disgusting.
715
00:43:04,833 --> 00:43:06,858
This is the Cajun Obstacle Course!
716
00:43:06,969 --> 00:43:09,836
On your mark, set get, go!
717
00:43:35,430 --> 00:43:37,796
-Oh, shit!
-Go, go, go, go!
718
00:43:45,407 --> 00:43:47,238
Go, go, go, go!
719
00:43:47,843 --> 00:43:48,935
Oh, God.
720
00:44:19,274 --> 00:44:21,242
I didn't even touch it! I mean...
721
00:44:21,710 --> 00:44:23,610
Fuck it. I lose, man.
722
00:44:24,079 --> 00:44:25,341
Who drank it first?
723
00:44:25,447 --> 00:44:26,505
Bam did.
724
00:44:26,615 --> 00:44:29,345
All right. And the winner is Bam!
725
00:44:32,220 --> 00:44:33,847
Oh, right on the spit!
726
00:44:35,624 --> 00:44:37,455
Man, right on the spit.
727
00:44:38,827 --> 00:44:40,818
-Hold on.
-Oh, my God.
728
00:44:41,530 --> 00:44:43,828
-Jeez.
-Just get fucking naked, Wee Man.
729
00:44:43,932 --> 00:44:46,025
Today is the worst day of my life.
730
00:44:46,501 --> 00:44:48,196
Throw a snake on that guy.
731
00:44:53,141 --> 00:44:55,666
I always thought my whole life that
most people could shit on command.
732
00:44:55,777 --> 00:44:57,768
I didn't think that was, like, a real...
733
00:44:57,879 --> 00:45:00,370
Some kind of quality
that only certain people had.
734
00:45:00,482 --> 00:45:03,974
I just thought... It's hard to pee
on command, pee in front of people,
735
00:45:04,086 --> 00:45:05,451
but for me,
736
00:45:05,554 --> 00:45:08,045
I can just whip my pants down and
take a shit pretty much any old time.
737
00:45:13,929 --> 00:45:15,920
I've made many people
puke from shitting.
738
00:45:16,031 --> 00:45:19,364
And I'm proud. And I consider myself
a professional shitter,
739
00:45:19,468 --> 00:45:21,026
which I think there's very few of.
740
00:45:21,136 --> 00:45:22,865
I'm sure there are some others
out there,
741
00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:24,734
but can you name one?
742
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:26,407
Probably not.
743
00:45:27,776 --> 00:45:30,506
-Very nice...
-That's fucked up.
744
00:45:30,612 --> 00:45:33,410
-Are you really giving me a pee stain?
-A little bit. Jeff wanted one.
745
00:45:33,515 --> 00:45:36,814
Oh, that is sad. I have no dignity left.
746
00:45:37,919 --> 00:45:41,286
So you, in Number Two,
were a little old lady.
747
00:45:42,357 --> 00:45:44,120
What was it like, being a little old lady?
748
00:45:44,226 --> 00:45:47,389
I think I felt vulnerable as an old lady,
749
00:45:47,863 --> 00:45:52,960
both... Like, sexually, people looking
at my breasts, I felt vulnerable,
750
00:45:53,068 --> 00:45:57,300
and also, I felt like my bones
were more brittle,
751
00:45:57,406 --> 00:45:58,930
and something
could happen to me bad.
752
00:45:59,608 --> 00:46:02,168
Hi. Have we met before?
753
00:46:02,611 --> 00:46:03,873
-No.
-I don't want to meet.
754
00:46:03,979 --> 00:46:06,072
-Do you like sex?
-Hell, no!
755
00:46:06,581 --> 00:46:08,071
That's my boyfriend. Leave him alone.
756
00:46:08,183 --> 00:46:10,378
Oh, okay. All right.
757
00:46:11,787 --> 00:46:13,482
I loved shooting Old Man.
758
00:46:14,356 --> 00:46:17,189
You had to get up super early and
you get three hours of makeup,
759
00:46:17,292 --> 00:46:20,989
but it's so fun, 'cause I can go out
in the street and prank people
760
00:46:21,096 --> 00:46:24,224
Iike I did when the show began,
and no one recognizes me.
761
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,231
No one recognizes this.
762
00:46:27,736 --> 00:46:30,170
It's a blessing and a burden.
763
00:46:30,605 --> 00:46:32,334
Hi. My name is lrving Zisman.
764
00:46:32,441 --> 00:46:34,773
This is my good friend Clyde Singleton,
765
00:46:34,876 --> 00:46:36,776
and today we're going to
take a test drive.
766
00:46:37,979 --> 00:46:38,946
Yeah.
767
00:46:41,750 --> 00:46:42,717
-Hi.
-Hello.
768
00:46:43,919 --> 00:46:46,513
-How're you, son?
-Are you here to see Daniel?
769
00:46:46,621 --> 00:46:47,849
-Yes, sir.
-I'm Daniel. Nice to meet you.
770
00:46:47,956 --> 00:46:49,719
Oh, hi, Daniel. I'm sorry.
How're you, son?
771
00:46:49,825 --> 00:46:51,292
I'm fine, thank you.
772
00:46:52,661 --> 00:46:55,027
Oh, she's a pretty one.
773
00:46:55,130 --> 00:46:57,894
-Can I take it for a spin?
-Of course, of course.
774
00:46:58,233 --> 00:47:00,167
-Here you are.
-Oh, thank you.
775
00:47:03,972 --> 00:47:05,963
-Starts right up.
-Very good.
776
00:47:06,074 --> 00:47:07,098
Where are you from?
777
00:47:07,209 --> 00:47:10,007
Born and raised in Los Angeles,
right here.
778
00:47:10,112 --> 00:47:12,740
-All right.
-Never been anywhere else.
779
00:47:12,848 --> 00:47:15,078
-It's a lovely city.
-lt is, it's great.
780
00:47:15,183 --> 00:47:17,583
-Everything you need, close by.
-Yes.
781
00:47:17,686 --> 00:47:19,677
Watch out, watch out, watch out!
782
00:47:22,124 --> 00:47:23,318
Stop the car.
783
00:47:24,493 --> 00:47:26,723
What the fuck is going on?
784
00:47:26,828 --> 00:47:28,625
Just... Just stop the car, sir.
785
00:47:28,730 --> 00:47:30,493
What the fuck are you guys doing?
786
00:47:30,599 --> 00:47:32,294
-I'm sorry.
-Let's get the foot off the pedal.
787
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,197
-I'm serious!
-Hey, hey, hey.
788
00:47:35,637 --> 00:47:39,004
-You just smashed my cart!
-I'm sorry. He's an old man on...
789
00:47:39,674 --> 00:47:43,201
-What am I supposed to do?
-Score one for Dixie!
790
00:47:43,645 --> 00:47:46,512
You just let Bob Barker hit my cart!
791
00:47:46,615 --> 00:47:47,912
What're you doing?
792
00:47:48,016 --> 00:47:50,507
It's not me, sir. I'm sorry. I didn't...
793
00:47:51,686 --> 00:47:53,313
-I'm shocked, too, right now.
-Oh, my God.
794
00:47:53,421 --> 00:47:56,185
-What did you say, boy?
-Look at this! You let this dude drive?
795
00:47:56,291 --> 00:47:59,920
Come on, dude! You let him drive.
You let him drive the car.
796
00:48:00,495 --> 00:48:02,463
Can I get some reparation cans?
797
00:48:02,564 --> 00:48:04,964
I had no control. You saw what
happened after he slammed.
798
00:48:05,066 --> 00:48:06,090
I'm really sorry.
799
00:48:06,201 --> 00:48:07,930
I got chili on my nose!
800
00:48:08,170 --> 00:48:10,229
This one bit we shot,
The Construction Site.
801
00:48:10,338 --> 00:48:13,000
I wrote it...
I wanted to do The Deconstruction.
802
00:48:13,108 --> 00:48:14,439
You know, I'd go to a construction site,
803
00:48:14,543 --> 00:48:16,807
and whatever they were working on,
I would fuck it up.
804
00:48:17,345 --> 00:48:20,178
If they're hanging drywall,
I knock it down.
805
00:48:22,217 --> 00:48:23,184
Shit.
806
00:48:27,689 --> 00:48:31,352
If they're laying out floors,
I bust the floor.
807
00:48:31,459 --> 00:48:33,427
Where'd you get this shit from?
808
00:48:35,430 --> 00:48:36,920
Oh, fuck.
809
00:48:37,732 --> 00:48:38,699
There he is now!
810
00:48:39,968 --> 00:48:42,129
-We had a really good spot...
-Oh, shit.
811
00:48:42,237 --> 00:48:46,037
...and I walk in,
and everyone's on their lunch break.
812
00:48:46,908 --> 00:48:49,843
So no one's wanting to deal
with an old man,
813
00:48:49,945 --> 00:48:53,073
so I really have to work
to get their attention.
814
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:01,354
Hey, there's a bathroom
outside over here.
815
00:49:04,859 --> 00:49:05,826
So you really peed?
816
00:49:05,927 --> 00:49:07,690
Oh, yeah. I peed a lot!
817
00:49:08,296 --> 00:49:11,094
I mean, they were on lunch.
I had to do something.
818
00:49:11,533 --> 00:49:14,866
I couldn't pull a Dave England,
'cause I don't have that gift.
819
00:49:17,038 --> 00:49:19,700
Hey, sir, excuse me,
you can't do that in here.
820
00:49:20,008 --> 00:49:21,407
There's a bathroom down there.
821
00:49:21,509 --> 00:49:24,137
Oh, thank you, son, I'm done now.
822
00:49:24,379 --> 00:49:26,370
Okay, we're gonna go outside.
We're gonna go outside.
823
00:49:26,481 --> 00:49:27,880
We are outside!
824
00:49:27,983 --> 00:49:30,178
We're gonna go outside, sir,
we're gonna go outside.
825
00:49:30,285 --> 00:49:32,082
We're gonna go outside. Come on.
826
00:49:32,187 --> 00:49:33,677
-I'm coming.
-Come on.
827
00:49:34,289 --> 00:49:36,723
Whoa! Whoa! God damn it.
828
00:49:37,993 --> 00:49:39,324
Let's go outside.
829
00:49:39,661 --> 00:49:42,152
-Come on, let's go.
-Hey... Hey, let go of me!
830
00:49:42,530 --> 00:49:44,020
Whoa! Wow.
831
00:49:47,869 --> 00:49:50,201
God damn it.
You don't got to manhandle me.
832
00:49:55,410 --> 00:49:59,176
-Oh, I bet you fellows like this, huh?
-We don't want you to get hurt.
833
00:49:59,314 --> 00:50:01,373
Well, somebody's gonna get hurt
and it ain't gonna be me,
834
00:50:01,483 --> 00:50:03,348
you keep manhandling me like this.
835
00:50:03,451 --> 00:50:05,009
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
836
00:50:07,689 --> 00:50:09,418
Oh, my back.
837
00:50:09,691 --> 00:50:10,953
Oh, now...
838
00:50:11,092 --> 00:50:12,059
Big man.
839
00:50:12,627 --> 00:50:13,594
Big man!
840
00:50:15,163 --> 00:50:16,130
Punks.
841
00:50:20,235 --> 00:50:21,429
What is this?
842
00:50:25,807 --> 00:50:27,365
Why do you have a camera on you?
843
00:50:27,475 --> 00:50:28,442
Oh, fuck.
844
00:50:29,377 --> 00:50:32,107
The impression I got from watching
the whole crew work today
845
00:50:32,213 --> 00:50:34,181
was that you guys
had never shot before.
846
00:50:34,582 --> 00:50:36,482
We had Jeffrey Ross with us,
847
00:50:36,618 --> 00:50:40,554
who is a comedian
who loves to just tear people apart.
848
00:50:40,655 --> 00:50:43,852
So it was a great idea to put him
right behind me in the van.
849
00:50:43,958 --> 00:50:45,220
Tremaine loves... He's...
850
00:50:45,327 --> 00:50:49,024
First of all, he has a cell phone
in one hand, an earpiece, a walkie,
851
00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:52,065
and he's driving. And he's directing!
852
00:50:52,701 --> 00:50:55,135
Jump up and down. Yeah.
853
00:50:55,236 --> 00:50:57,067
Wait. Mike! Mike! Mike!
854
00:50:57,172 --> 00:50:58,662
What am I gonna do, dude?
855
00:50:58,773 --> 00:51:01,640
You should have moved it
like a pickup basketball game.
856
00:51:02,510 --> 00:51:06,970
Who's around? Let's see who's around.
Maybe we'll get some good shit.
857
00:51:08,817 --> 00:51:11,411
It's like watching a bunch
of retards play poker in the dark.
858
00:51:14,055 --> 00:51:16,387
But at the end
we got the footage we needed.
859
00:51:16,491 --> 00:51:19,221
I mean, there was really
no rhyme or reason...
860
00:51:19,327 --> 00:51:22,524
Yeah, you can cut that together
into a DVD extra.
861
00:51:24,733 --> 00:51:25,893
Ouch!
862
00:51:27,168 --> 00:51:29,500
Are you really peeing? Oh, my God.
863
00:51:29,604 --> 00:51:32,664
-ls it working? Am I hitting anything?
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
864
00:51:32,774 --> 00:51:33,866
Oh, my God!
865
00:51:35,443 --> 00:51:37,673
It hurts to... I'm just gonna save it.
866
00:51:40,415 --> 00:51:43,248
-You fucking asshole!
-Oh, my God! Here! Here, here!
867
00:51:45,587 --> 00:51:48,681
No, no! Let go! Oh, no, no!
My good scarf!
868
00:51:49,257 --> 00:51:51,657
-My piss reeks.
-Oh, God.
869
00:51:53,395 --> 00:51:55,556
We're here with BMX legend
Mat Hoffman,
870
00:51:55,663 --> 00:51:58,393
and this is Mini Motorcycle Mayhem!
871
00:53:07,302 --> 00:53:08,735
Sorry, bro.
872
00:53:08,837 --> 00:53:11,601
I didn't see you there.
I thought you went over to produce.
873
00:53:11,706 --> 00:53:14,504
Dave! You knocked out my tooth again!
874
00:53:14,609 --> 00:53:15,576
Sorry, dude...
875
00:53:16,911 --> 00:53:20,176
We keep trying to get a good bit
with me dressed as a baby.
876
00:53:21,149 --> 00:53:23,709
And it's not happening.
I don't know what it is.
877
00:53:23,818 --> 00:53:25,012
We filmed this atrocity
878
00:53:25,119 --> 00:53:28,555
where we thought it'd be funny
if Wee Man was born.
879
00:53:28,656 --> 00:53:32,592
So we covered him with tomato sauce
and dressed him up as a baby.
880
00:53:34,128 --> 00:53:36,255
This is already fucking bullshit.
881
00:53:38,333 --> 00:53:41,097
-All right, Tremaine.
-Stop it. You need to be there.
882
00:53:41,202 --> 00:53:44,103
We had the lady
that made me disappear.
883
00:53:44,572 --> 00:53:47,302
We tried to have her sit on me.
884
00:53:47,442 --> 00:53:50,502
And then have her giving birth
to a Wee Man.
885
00:53:50,645 --> 00:53:52,977
Full speed once it's on
and then you get out of the way.
886
00:53:53,081 --> 00:53:55,379
-Oh, God.
-No! No! I can't breathe!
887
00:53:55,483 --> 00:53:58,350
Hold on, I can't breathe.
I can't breathe. Seriously.
888
00:53:58,453 --> 00:54:01,718
Up! Up! Help her!
Get her off my fucking ankle!
889
00:54:01,823 --> 00:54:03,415
It's in the ground, dude.
890
00:54:04,993 --> 00:54:08,121
No, dude, I can't do this, dude.
It's fucking...
891
00:54:08,830 --> 00:54:13,665
And it just... It was bad. It was horrible,
and it didn't happen.
892
00:54:13,835 --> 00:54:16,895
-This one, I'm ashamed.
-Okay, watch out.
893
00:54:17,005 --> 00:54:18,597
I'm just ashamed.
894
00:54:18,706 --> 00:54:21,266
In Number Two, we were obsessed
with doing a thing called The Poof,
895
00:54:21,376 --> 00:54:23,241
where you could see a fart.
896
00:54:23,378 --> 00:54:27,906
You had to put powder up the ass,
to fart and see it.
897
00:54:28,016 --> 00:54:30,314
But no one could fart
when they were supposed to.
898
00:54:31,152 --> 00:54:33,382
-I'm Johnny Knoxville.
-And I'm Wee Man.
899
00:54:33,521 --> 00:54:35,921
And this is The Poof.
900
00:54:41,262 --> 00:54:42,251
-All right.
-Oh, yeah?
901
00:54:42,363 --> 00:54:44,092
Yeah, right there.
902
00:54:44,198 --> 00:54:48,157
Baby needs a little powder.
903
00:54:51,773 --> 00:54:55,937
Oh, baby needs a lot of powder.
It's really wet back there.
904
00:54:56,044 --> 00:54:58,672
Okay, this is completely between bros.
This is for the bit.
905
00:54:58,780 --> 00:55:01,476
-I'm just going to spread them a little.
-Wee, turn your head.
906
00:55:01,583 --> 00:55:03,813
-Okay.
-Okay, wait, wait, wait! Let it die down.
907
00:55:03,918 --> 00:55:06,216
Not yet. Let it die down.
908
00:55:07,322 --> 00:55:08,311
-Okay.
-Ready?
909
00:55:08,489 --> 00:55:09,456
I might shit.
910
00:55:11,059 --> 00:55:13,994
-I might shit. Hold on.
-Wait, wait, wait.
911
00:55:14,095 --> 00:55:15,790
Wait, I'm supposed to get
enough in there to, like...
912
00:55:15,897 --> 00:55:16,864
Okay, here goes, here it goes.
913
00:55:17,699 --> 00:55:20,395
I'm afraid I might shit, seriously.
914
00:55:20,501 --> 00:55:22,332
God damn!
915
00:55:23,204 --> 00:55:25,468
No, that's not the goal!
916
00:55:25,573 --> 00:55:29,373
What? Did baby make a boom-boom?
917
00:55:30,078 --> 00:55:32,706
Did the baby... You little rascal!
918
00:55:32,814 --> 00:55:33,781
God!
919
00:55:39,654 --> 00:55:40,643
I told you.
920
00:55:40,755 --> 00:55:43,189
Baby doesn't need
to make a boom-boom!
921
00:55:44,359 --> 00:55:49,023
Now who wants to change
baby's diaper?
922
00:55:50,698 --> 00:55:52,962
You see that?
923
00:55:55,637 --> 00:55:58,470
I told you I had to poop.
924
00:56:00,008 --> 00:56:02,636
So we really couldn't get anyone to fart
on command. We kept trying,
925
00:56:02,744 --> 00:56:05,474
until finally
Knoxville came up with the idea
926
00:56:05,580 --> 00:56:08,845
to force some air
up one of the cast members' asses.
927
00:56:09,717 --> 00:56:11,184
Poor Mike Judge.
928
00:56:11,285 --> 00:56:15,153
I call him and ask him will he be
in the movie, and he's like, "Sure!"
929
00:56:15,523 --> 00:56:18,492
"So, well, come by my house tomorrow.
We're shooting a few things."
930
00:56:18,593 --> 00:56:20,584
And boy, did he walk in
at the wrong time.
931
00:56:20,995 --> 00:56:22,087
He makes...
932
00:56:23,164 --> 00:56:26,133
Like, King of the Hill,
he made Beavis and Butt-Head, and...
933
00:56:26,234 --> 00:56:29,101
He got pulled into it.
I don't know what his role in it was.
934
00:56:29,203 --> 00:56:31,364
Just being there,
you're guilty by association.
935
00:56:32,173 --> 00:56:33,367
You know, once you're there,
936
00:56:33,474 --> 00:56:36,932
I guess you don't wanna be
a party-pooper.
937
00:56:37,045 --> 00:56:40,640
So I ended up pumping a fireplace
bellows up a man's butt.
938
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:47,153
I was thinking, this is usually
939
00:56:47,255 --> 00:56:49,416
the kind of thing you have to do
to get into show business,
940
00:56:49,524 --> 00:56:51,219
or at the beginning of your career,
941
00:56:51,325 --> 00:56:54,522
and I mean,
I've accomplished all this stuff,
942
00:56:54,629 --> 00:56:56,358
and there I am...
943
00:56:57,899 --> 00:57:00,129
I just got to be more careful, I guess.
944
00:57:01,402 --> 00:57:04,599
We're with Mike Judge
and it's time for The Butt Bellows.
945
00:57:05,573 --> 00:57:08,974
No one wants to do this at all,
so we're going to draw reeds of grass
946
00:57:09,077 --> 00:57:12,706
to see who has to get it up their bum.
947
00:57:12,814 --> 00:57:13,974
-All right.
-Okay?
948
00:57:14,082 --> 00:57:17,051
-I'm after Knox.
-Okay. I'm after Pontius, then.
949
00:57:19,654 --> 00:57:21,519
-That's it. He gets the camera.
-Yes!
950
00:57:22,190 --> 00:57:24,249
Let's see who's got the smallest.
951
00:57:24,559 --> 00:57:26,288
-Preston!
-Preston!
952
00:57:26,394 --> 00:57:28,521
Ready, everyone? Okay, let's do it.
953
00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:30,591
Excuse me.
954
00:57:33,835 --> 00:57:37,464
You got to be... Do it slow. Do it...
955
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:39,807
I just...
956
00:57:40,675 --> 00:57:42,472
He hasn't put it in yet, Preston.
957
00:57:42,577 --> 00:57:46,343
I'm just gonna spread your butt cheeks,
okay? Wee Man's gotta find the hole.
958
00:57:46,447 --> 00:57:48,176
Hey, Mike.
959
00:57:48,683 --> 00:57:50,116
Is that it?
960
00:57:50,218 --> 00:57:52,118
Oh, yeah, it's in my butt hole.
961
00:57:52,754 --> 00:57:54,051
I guess I have to look, dude.
962
00:57:55,022 --> 00:57:56,353
-Do you feel wind?
-Slow, Mike!
963
00:57:56,457 --> 00:57:57,754
Yeah, I know, but there is a hole.
964
00:57:57,859 --> 00:57:59,850
-Do you feel like you have to fart?
-Yeah.
965
00:57:59,961 --> 00:58:02,828
-I'll try to fart.
-Okay, wait, wait, wait.
966
00:58:03,531 --> 00:58:04,657
-Do you have to, Preston?
-No.
967
00:58:04,766 --> 00:58:06,893
-No? Okay, keep on pumping.
-I'm trying.
968
00:58:07,502 --> 00:58:08,696
Let's go back in.
969
00:58:09,504 --> 00:58:10,698
What about a straw?
970
00:58:11,472 --> 00:58:14,635
Who's gonna blow a straw
up one of their bros' butts?
971
00:58:14,742 --> 00:58:17,176
Well, Steve-O's probably
done that before.
972
00:58:17,945 --> 00:58:19,606
Easy does it!
973
00:58:20,815 --> 00:58:22,612
To the left, to the left, to the left!
974
00:58:22,717 --> 00:58:24,275
Not... The other left!
975
00:58:25,253 --> 00:58:28,188
-To the fucking left!
-Camera left, you dipshit!
976
00:58:29,791 --> 00:58:31,554
-That is the left!
-That's right!
977
00:58:31,659 --> 00:58:33,957
-That's... Right, then!
-That's his left.
978
00:58:34,061 --> 00:58:36,529
Yeah, but the straw's bending
to the right.
979
00:58:36,631 --> 00:58:37,655
Oh, I'm sorry.
980
00:58:37,765 --> 00:58:39,665
-Does it have to go in a little bit more?
-A little bit more.
981
00:58:39,767 --> 00:58:41,291
-All right, I'm gonna stick it straight in.
-Jesus!
982
00:58:41,402 --> 00:58:43,267
-You got to relax.
-I can't.
983
00:58:45,907 --> 00:58:48,273
I've never had this much trouble
forcing something into someone's ass.
984
00:58:48,376 --> 00:58:49,536
You're gonna get blood.
985
00:58:49,644 --> 00:58:52,112
-I'm gonna blow in the straw.
-Blow! Blow!
986
00:58:52,780 --> 00:58:53,906
Fill him up.
987
00:58:55,516 --> 00:58:57,211
I can't really blow, dude.
988
00:58:57,351 --> 00:58:58,875
We are trying to seal...
989
00:59:06,627 --> 00:59:07,719
Oh, my God.
990
00:59:13,234 --> 00:59:16,567
He farted on him! He farted on him!
991
00:59:30,685 --> 00:59:31,652
Oh, my God.
992
00:59:31,752 --> 00:59:32,980
Preston, way to go!
993
00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:35,884
-Preston! Preston!
-Preston! Preston!
994
00:59:35,990 --> 00:59:38,049
I've wanted to work with Mike Judge
my whole life.
995
00:59:38,159 --> 00:59:39,649
Ever since I've been in this business.
996
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:43,890
But I never thought it would be in the
capacity of him running air up my ass.
997
00:59:50,004 --> 00:59:52,495
Now, there's one thing
998
00:59:52,607 --> 00:59:57,135
most of you men will be able to say
when you get back home.
999
00:59:58,045 --> 00:59:59,910
And you may thank God for it.
1000
01:00:00,748 --> 01:00:04,377
Thirty years from now,
when you're sitting around your fireside,
1001
01:00:04,485 --> 01:00:06,646
with your grandson on your knee,
1002
01:00:07,221 --> 01:00:12,659
and he says, "Grandpa, what did you do
in the great Jackass Number Two?"
1003
01:00:14,395 --> 01:00:19,423
Well, you won't have to say,
"l ate shit down in Louisiana."
1004
01:00:20,067 --> 01:00:21,830
'Cause that was Dave England.
1005
01:00:23,905 --> 01:00:26,135
All right, you sons of bitches.
1006
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,431
Now you know how I feel.
1007
01:00:29,844 --> 01:00:34,872
What do you say we hit the showers?
1008
01:01:01,142 --> 01:01:02,666
That was horrible!
1009
01:01:05,513 --> 01:01:07,003
Film the poo, Rick.
1010
01:01:07,114 --> 01:01:09,082
-Rick, film the poo.
-I'm filming the fucking poo!
1011
01:01:09,183 --> 01:01:11,413
-You're the fucking...
-I'm not getting any closer!
1012
01:01:11,519 --> 01:01:14,454
-Oh, gross!
-Rick, film the poo, dude.
1013
01:01:15,289 --> 01:01:16,688
Rick, film the poo!
1014
01:01:17,992 --> 01:01:19,516
Rick, film the...
1015
01:01:32,540 --> 01:01:35,771
And the spaghetti sauce.
I mean, the whole deal.
1016
01:01:39,347 --> 01:01:41,975
I'm Wee Man, and this is The Leapfrog.
1017
01:01:47,788 --> 01:01:48,755
Damn!
1018
01:01:50,958 --> 01:01:53,085
-Shit!
-Oh, God!
1019
01:01:53,194 --> 01:01:54,491
Oh, God.
1020
01:01:54,595 --> 01:01:56,119
You didn't see that coming!
1021
01:01:57,965 --> 01:01:59,398
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1022
01:02:07,875 --> 01:02:08,842
Safe!
1023
01:02:11,012 --> 01:02:12,411
Yeah, bro!
1024
01:02:33,701 --> 01:02:35,191
That feels awful.
1025
01:02:37,872 --> 01:02:41,103
I'm alive! I'm alive!
1026
01:02:43,878 --> 01:02:46,870
I have to give an apology to
Jeff Tremaine, the director of the movie,
1027
01:02:46,981 --> 01:02:49,814
because I'm a total piece of work
once again,
1028
01:02:50,217 --> 01:02:52,117
and I still have a half a bottle...
1029
01:02:52,219 --> 01:02:55,211
-You have to say sorry now, buddy!
-Fucking motherfucker.
1030
01:02:57,591 --> 01:02:59,650
At this point, I don't even care.
1031
01:03:00,728 --> 01:03:04,459
When the day is done
When the sun goes down
1032
01:03:04,565 --> 01:03:06,658
When the children fry
1033
01:03:08,235 --> 01:03:10,100
When the mothers frown
1034
01:03:10,204 --> 01:03:12,331
When the blood is spilled
1035
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:14,374
And when the knives are drawn
1036
01:03:14,475 --> 01:03:16,136
When the blood is spilled
1037
01:03:16,243 --> 01:03:18,108
And your body shakes
1038
01:03:18,212 --> 01:03:19,645
And your bones will chill
1039
01:03:19,747 --> 01:03:21,544
You see a ghost
1040
01:03:24,652 --> 01:03:26,779
My God, I've seen a ghost
1041
01:03:28,689 --> 01:03:29,656
Yeah.
1042
01:03:30,424 --> 01:03:31,789
It's for the kids.
1043
01:03:32,526 --> 01:03:34,016
What song do you have down?
1044
01:03:34,128 --> 01:03:36,096
No sweat
It's just a ghost
79615
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