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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:03,670
[door opens in distance]
2
00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:06,840
[car alarm beeping]
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,967
[distant horns honking]
4
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:19,895
[groans]
5
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,025
‐ One down, four to go.
6
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,486
♪
7
00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:30,197
If you need answers,
you need to go to the source.
8
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:31,907
And I need to know:
9
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:36,203
why am I doomed to be left?
Why am I doomed to be... rejected?
10
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:37,996
So, I'm gonna ask them.
11
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:39,498
All of them.
12
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,584
Next ex on the big ex list is Kat Mon‐‐
13
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,008
♪ folksy guitar playing in cafe ♪
14
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,094
Simon.
What are you doing in there?
15
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:54,555
What?
16
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,099
I'll come in. I'll come in.
17
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,061
Excuse me. Sorry.
18
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,191
What's up, dude?
19
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,276
‐ Nothing's up.
20
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,944
I'm just... just getting
a coffee beverage.
21
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,323
‐ I'm sorry, have...
have you been body‐snatched?
22
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,367
‐ I just thought I would try it out.
23
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,452
‐ But we hate this place.
24
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,037
‐ Yeah, I don't know. They have oat milk.
25
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,164
‐ This is Mumford & Sons?
26
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,833
‐ Yeah. It's probably.
27
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,169
‐ Okay. So, um, check it out.
28
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,920
I talked to Kevin Bannister's mom
last night‐‐
29
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,505
‐ Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Kevin‐who's‐mom?
30
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,673
‐ Bannister.
31
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,884
My first boyfriend?
‐ Oh‐‐ Okay.
32
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:34,303
‐ Number One on my "Top Five
All‐Time Heartbreak" list?
33
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,180
Left me for Hannah Shepherd?
I've told you this.
34
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,390
‐ You Top Five‐d your
All‐Time Heartbreaks?
35
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,017
‐ Yeah.
36
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,311
‐ Should we maybe wait till
after I have coffee
37
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,062
to go wherever this is going?
38
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,647
‐ Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
Do your thing. Do your thing.
39
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:46,899
I've already had three.
40
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,150
‐ $9.40.
41
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,068
‐ He married her.
42
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,821
Hannah Shephard is now Hannah Bannister.
43
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:53,697
Isn't that incredible?
44
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,657
‐ It's incredible.
‐ I mean, this whole time
45
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,950
I thought he rejected me.
46
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,286
But no. It was fate.
47
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,830
‐ Well, there you have it.
‐ I feel fucking liberated, man.
48
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,292
Which is why I'm reaching out
to everyone else on the list.
49
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,169
‐ Everyone else?
‐ Yeah.
50
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,421
There are more lessons
to be learned here, dude.
51
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:12,132
‐ I mean, like "that it was just fate
and none of it was your fault"?
52
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:13,759
‐ Can you take this seriously, please?
53
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,093
‐ I, I'm doing my best.
54
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,970
‐ Okay, so my plan was
to go chronologically,
55
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,056
but since you're here, Simon,
56
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,558
I'm hoping you can help me understand:
57
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:25,521
why I'm doomed to be left?
Why I'm doomed to be... rejected?
58
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:26,647
‐ You're asking me?
59
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,691
Hold on. Do you think I rejected you?
60
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,737
Rob, have you forgotten
that I'm homosexual?
61
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,781
‐ Yeah, but did you know that
when we got together, though?
62
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,074
‐ Wait a minute, I'm one of
your Top Five Heartbreaks?
63
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,451
‐ That's why you always closed your eyes
when we had sex?
64
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,620
‐ What can I get for you two?
65
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,957
‐ I'll have the, uh,
currant‐forward Ethiopian, please.
66
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:45,832
with a splash of oat milk.
67
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:47,626
‐ I'm good.
68
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,086
‐ It's $8.50.
69
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,008
‐ Okay. Okay. Besides the fact
that I have a vagina,
70
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,261
are there other things about me,
any traits you think
71
00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,638
that could have factored
into us not staying together?
72
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:00,848
‐ Rob.
‐ Yeah.
73
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,307
‐ I still make you mix tapes, all right.
74
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,560
I say I like your outfit
even when I don't, at all.
75
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,646
I even let you pop pimples on my back,
whenever you want.
76
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,607
‐ I'm sorry, what's your point?
‐ My point is, Rob,
77
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,986
this is how we acted and I treated you
when we were in a relationship,
78
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,737
and this is what I continue to do now.
79
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:17,990
We're still together.
80
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,158
Okay? I never left.
81
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,743
You get it?
82
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,537
‐ Yes.
83
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,290
Yes. I get it. Thank you.
84
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,791
It's great.
‐ Hey.
85
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,334
‐ Yeah.
‐ Take me off your goddamn list.
86
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,086
Please.
‐ Done.
87
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,172
‐ Got a currant‐forward Ethiopian.
88
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:34,923
‐ Thanks.
89
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,049
‐ Thank you.
90
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,593
ROB:
That's fucking great!
91
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:41,263
All right. Two down, three to go.
92
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,514
‐ So you're really gonna talk
to all of them?
93
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:45,017
‐ Yeah.
‐ Every single one of them. Even‐‐
94
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:46,143
‐ Yes. Every single one.
95
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,353
‐ Okay, dude? I have to say it:
96
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,063
I think this is crazy.
97
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,858
‐ Uh... no. $8.50 for a coffee is crazy.
98
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,652
This is fuckin' genius.
99
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,655
♪ Aura's Yesterday's Love playing ♪
100
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:02,367
♪
101
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,582
♪
102
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,876
♪ I've been trying so hard ♪
103
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,128
♪ To make ya see ♪
104
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,214
♪ The love in me, baby ♪
105
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,424
[humming]
106
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,258
ROB: Open the window.
107
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:19,676
‐ Ooh.
108
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,053
[doorbell tinkles]
109
00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:21,929
SIMON: What is she‐‐
110
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,263
‐ You're here early.
111
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,307
‐ Yeah, well, you know, somebody got
to pick up the slack around here,
112
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,058
you feel me?
113
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,393
Oh, and, uh, we got that order in,
114
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,895
Bee Tee Dubs. I handled it.
115
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:32,523
‐ You handled the order.
CHERISE: Yep.
116
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:34,608
‐ Oh my god.
117
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,568
[muttering]
118
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,779
CHERISE: I am on my shit today.
119
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,072
[humming]
120
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,073
‐ Is she taking out the trash?
121
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,699
ROB: [laughing]
She's taking out the trash.
122
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:43,909
‐ Where, uh‐‐
123
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,035
‐ It's the one on the‐‐
‐ You're taking out the trash?
124
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:45,869
‐ One on the right.
125
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,371
‐ Yeah.
ROB: Just go out
126
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:48,622
of that door and go to the right‐‐
127
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,998
CHERISE: Your right or my right?
128
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,875
‐ Uh, both of our rights.
129
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,169
‐ It's the side where it's‐‐
We're on the same right.
130
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,921
‐ The big black square one?
131
00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,005
ROB: Yes.
SIMON: That one.
132
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,716
‐ Oh!
‐ What's going on?
133
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,678
‐ Uh, pssh... it must be full moon.
134
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,849
♪ Betty Davis'
They Say I'm different playing ♪
135
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:07,891
‐ Okay, now,
136
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,601
Kat Monroe.
137
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,272
I'm not totally sure
I'm ready for this, but‐‐
138
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,901
[exhales forcefully, then clears throat]
139
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,404
[line ringing]
140
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,865
♪ They say I’m different'cause I’m a piece of sugar cane ♪
141
00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:24,032
[line disconnects]
142
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,368
OPERATOR: The number you dialedis not in service.
143
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,452
[slams receiver]
144
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,495
‐ Changed her number.
145
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,122
That's okay.
146
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:32,916
Important people do that.
147
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:38,130
I should resign myself to the idea
that Kat might be hard to track down.
148
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,466
She's a myth, she's a legend,
she's...
149
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,972
on goddamn Instagram!
150
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,267
♪ Every mornin'I'd have to slop the hogs ♪
151
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:54,104
♪ And they'd be gettin' off humpin'to John Lee Hooker ♪
152
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,398
♪
153
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:00,986
♪
154
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,279
♪ They say I'm different ♪
155
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,113
‐ Hey.
156
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,531
‐ 'Sup.
157
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,327
‐ You guys have a bathroom?
158
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,164
‐ Nah. Customers only.
159
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,874
‐ You can't make an exception?
160
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,543
‐ Nah, I can't. 'Cause, you know,
if I let, if I let you go,
161
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,504
I gotta let everybody else go
to the bathroom.
162
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,838
And I can't do that. So‐‐
163
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,006
‐ But I'm the only one here‐‐
164
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,799
‐ But, dude, can you just go
to the coffee shop, please.
165
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,675
They got one there.
166
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,302
‐ I can see the bathroom right there.
167
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,054
CHERISE:
Motherfucker, just walk straight,
168
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,848
go up the steps, make a left,
169
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:33,143
walk two blocks, turn left,
and you found it.
170
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:36,605
‐ Okay.
171
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,524
‐ [mockingly] Okay, bye‐bye.
172
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,108
Don't forget to vote.
173
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,401
[door slams]
ROB: Hey, Cherise.
174
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:42,778
‐ Yeah, Rob?
175
00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:45,364
‐ What does it mean when someone has
a blue check mark next to their name?
176
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:46,990
‐ What are you talking about,
a blue check‐‐
177
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,534
‐ That. What is that?
178
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:52,704
‐ Oh, damn, you stalking Kat Monroe?
179
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,706
What's wrong with you?
‐ I'm not stalking her.
180
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:58,627
Wait, how do you know Kat?
‐ Uh, 'cause I own my own cellular device.
181
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,380
Oh, shit.
182
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,715
Is she in your Top Five
All‐Time Boo‐Hoo list?
183
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:04,508
‐ Simon!
184
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:05,717
‐ She's very intuitive.
185
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:08,095
‐ No, listen. For real, for real,
no judgment.
186
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,471
I'm here for you. You know what I mean?
187
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,265
If you want to take a vision quest
188
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:14,059
and go into your past
and sort some shit out,
189
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,435
that's dope.
190
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,353
Matter of fact,
191
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:17,855
you want some DMT?
192
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:18,856
‐ What does it mean, Cherise?
193
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,440
‐ Now, listen to me,
because I know a guy‐‐
194
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,234
‐ Cherise, what does
the fucking check mark mean?
195
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,152
‐ It means she's verified, dude.
196
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,696
She is internet royalty.
197
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:28,115
‐ She's been anointed
a public figure by the Instagods.
198
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,992
‐ Yup. I heard
199
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:33,078
she helped The Carters
pick out their art collection.
200
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,706
You sure you really dated her?
201
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,709
‐ Yeah.
‐ And you slid into her DMs?
202
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,002
‐ I guess.
203
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,797
‐ Oooh! She left it on seen.
204
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,132
‐ Wait. You can see she saw it?
205
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,175
[snickers]
206
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:49,052
‐ She is an evil petty bitch,
and I fuckin' love her!
207
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,054
[Cherise laughing]
208
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,222
[crowd cheering, applauding]
209
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,558
WOMAN:
All right, you brilliant idiots.
210
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:57,603
I am thrilled to bring out
the last comic of the night.
211
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,938
Give it up for Justin Kitt.
212
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,900
ROB: Justin, on the other hand,was very easy to get a hold of.
213
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,985
He still has the sameMicrosoft Paint website.
214
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:08,780
And he still does Thursday nights atthe same shitty West Village comedy club.
215
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,033
‐ All right. Some of you
gave me the look‐‐
216
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,035
ROB:
If this all sounds terribly unsexy,
217
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,162
I guess it's because... it is.
218
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,830
Or he is. Or was.
219
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,207
I think.
220
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,792
There's actually a lot aboutthis relationship I don't really remember.
221
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:21,668
Huh.
222
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,171
‐ See, I acknowledge my male privilege,
so you know I'm woke.
223
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,381
And I acknowledge
my aforementioned acknowledgement,
224
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,133
so you know I'm self‐aware.
225
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,593
I got this.
226
00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:32,638
[clears throat]
Hey, you.
227
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,349
Dating apps. Who's swiping? Anybody?
228
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:37,976
Rob Brooks.
229
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,687
I thought that was you.
‐ In the flesh.
230
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,564
‐ Still drinking whiskey neat
like a tough guy?
231
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,399
‐ Still drinking vodka soda
like a little bitch?
232
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:46,818
‐ You got that?
233
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:48,737
[Rob clears throat]
234
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:52,449
So... what brings you in?
235
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,702
‐ Um... all right.
236
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,163
Bear with me here, okay?
‐ Okay.
237
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,122
‐ I'm kinda doing this‐‐
[cell phone buzzing]
238
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,582
‐ Oh shit, hang on one sec.
‐ Oh yeah. Sure.
239
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:02,626
‐ Hey.
240
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,879
No, I told you I'm doing
a late set tonight.
241
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,381
‐ Yeah.
242
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,591
‐ Oh, shit. I'm really sorry.
Put him on the phone.
243
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,511
Hey, Spider‐Man.
244
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,389
Listen, Daddy's gonna be home
a little bit late tonight, okay?
245
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,517
Spider‐Man?
Hel‐‐ Hey.
246
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:21,103
No, he didn't say anything.
247
00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:24,064
Yes, Sheila. I did the Spider‐‐ Hello?
248
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,984
[sighs heavily]
249
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:30,904
‐ You have a kid?
250
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,239
‐ I got a kid
251
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:33,907
and a baby mama.
252
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,619
And... I don't think either of them
like me too much.
253
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:38,996
‐ Oh. Shit.
254
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,623
I'm sorry.
‐ It's all right.
255
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,667
It's just a bit of a rough patch.
256
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,378
She thinks I drink too much.
257
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,880
‐ Do you?
‐ Of course.
258
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,425
Anyway.
Sheila doesn't respect me,
259
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,594
she certainly doesn't love me,
I got no idea how to talk to the kid.
260
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,221
I mean, I go home‐‐
‐ I don't think I have the heart to launch
261
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,182
into the whole "why did you
reject me" thing.
262
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:02,060
This dude is... sad.
263
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,106
‐ Anyway, it's really good
to see you, Rob.
264
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,107
‐ Yeah, you too.
265
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,028
‐ I know I was a real jerk and a mess
when we were together.
266
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,279
‐ Oh‐‐
‐ No, but listen,
267
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,947
honestly, afterwards, I just,
268
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,408
pff, I got a whole lot worse.
269
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,994
I mean, I'm not trying to make it sound
like things haven't been okay
270
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,120
since you broke up with me.
271
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,164
It's not like that,
but... they haven't been great‐‐
272
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,916
‐ Oh, my God, he's right.
JUSTIN: You know how it goes‐‐
273
00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:25,959
‐ I broke up with him. I rejected him!
274
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,378
God, this is great!
275
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,506
Why didn't I do this years ago?
276
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,008
Sorry to hear that, man.
277
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,843
♪ A Tribe Called Quest's
Electric Relaxation playing ♪
278
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,929
♪ Told you in the jamthat we can get down ♪
279
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:39,181
♪ Now let's knock the bootslike the group H‐Town ♪
280
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,767
♪ You got BBD all on your bedroom wall ♪
281
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,353
♪ But I'm above the rimand this is how I ball ♪
282
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,563
♪ A gritty little somethingon the New York street ♪
283
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,233
♪ This is how I representover this here beat ♪
284
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,192
♪ Talking 'bout you ♪
285
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,652
♪ Yo, I took you out ♪
286
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,779
♪ But sex was on my mindfor the whole damn route ♪
287
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,907
‐ You know, I'm not totally sure
that the placement is the problem.
288
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:59,201
‐ And I'm not totally sure
skinny jeans is your look,
289
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:01,703
but you don't see me all up
in your goddamn ass, do you?
290
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:02,788
‐ I'm just trying to help.
291
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,623
‐ All right, go ahead, what is it?
292
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,334
‐ I just think that there's,
that there's not much to latch onto.
293
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,919
‐ The fuck are you talkin' about?
294
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,838
‐ Everybody thinks that they're a bad‐ass.
295
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:13,799
Everyone thinks they're unapologetic
and a visionary. Everybody thinks that.
296
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,217
‐ Yeah, but I actually am though.
297
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:16,343
‐ Sure. Right. I get that.
298
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,345
But just, just, just be like,
299
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,973
just a little bit more specific,
that's all.
300
00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,641
CHERISE: A little bit?
SIMON: That's it!
301
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:25,310
Just, like, show people where
you're coming from, who you are.
302
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,896
‐ I am... a badass.
‐ Understandable.
303
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,606
‐ You gotta show 'em
where you're coming from.
304
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,775
Right? Like, badass is like a big thing,
305
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,151
but you need someone
to see something like,
306
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,528
I'm into "Ooh!" and they're like,
307
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,989
"Oh, that. I wanna be a part of that."
308
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:38,657
[exhales heavily]
309
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:39,575
That's it.
310
00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,118
Then you can put this shit wherever.
311
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,744
And then people will come.
312
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,455
‐ People will come?
313
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,165
They will.
314
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,584
‐ If you build it.
315
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,419
‐ They will come?
316
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,213
Ha, ha, ha! Yes.
317
00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,512
‐ I'm sorry, can I, can I move these
out of the way for you?
318
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,806
‐ Oh, yeah, please. Thank you.
Get that out the way.
319
00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,016
Drrr‐oo!
320
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,392
Du‐du!
321
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,477
[telephone ringing]
322
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,817
‐ Championship.
WOMAN: Hi, is this Rob?
323
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,444
Speaking.
‐ Hi, it's Kat.
324
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:21,491
‐ Um... hey‐‐ hey!
325
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,743
Ho‐‐ how are you?
326
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:26,538
‐ Sorry I didn't call sooner. I was
at this awful silent retreat in Bali,
327
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,248
no internet service,
328
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,083
the most temperamental monks.
329
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,293
Just plain awful.
330
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,544
Anyway,
331
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,630
how've you been
the last nine million years?
332
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,466
What's the damage? Tell me everything.
333
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,134
‐ This is seriously how she talks.
334
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,761
I mean, what is this, a John Hughes movie?
335
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,264
Um, yeah, I'm, I'm good. I'm good.
336
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,766
‐ Aw. That's really great, Rob.
337
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,852
Makes me so happy to hear
that you're doing so well.
338
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,312
‐ Didn't say I was doing so well, but‐‐
339
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,772
‐ Isn't it funny to think
340
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,316
that we used to spend hoursjust dreaming about
341
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,151
the lives that we would lead
10 years down the line
342
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,070
and now here we are living them?
343
00:12:58,070 --> 00:12:59,655
It's so... I don't know‐‐
344
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:01,448
‐ Remarkable.
345
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:02,991
KAT: Remarkable.
346
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,161
‐ Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is.
347
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,871
KAT:
So, are you in or you out, Rob?
348
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,206
‐ I'm sorry, am I, am I what?
349
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:14,002
‐ Well... I received a spate
of these "ex calls" recently.
350
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:17,673
It's probably the downside of beingvaguely whatever on the internet.
351
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:20,008
And everyone just seems
to be going through
352
00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:22,177
these "what‐does‐it‐all‐mean?" trips.
353
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,221
Remember Caitlin?
354
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,098
I went out with her after you?
355
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:27,558
‐ Ka‐‐
356
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,768
Um, vaguely.
357
00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,395
‐ Yeah, yeah.
So, she called me up recently,
358
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:34,398
and she was trying to rehash the past.
359
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,608
And was I up for it? No, I wasn't.
360
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,861
But I am open to being pals, Rob.
361
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,071
So if you're around
for a time, I'd love to,
362
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,322
I'd love to see you and catch up.
363
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,449
‐ Oh, well, uh...
[chuckles]
364
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,868
I'm not trying to rehash anything.
365
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,744
I, uh, I hate rehashing.
366
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,079
Rehashing sucks.
367
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,248
‐ Yeah. You should stop by mine tonight.
368
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:52,958
If you're in.
369
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,128
So... are you?
370
00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:58,797
‐ Tonight. I might be‐‐
371
00:13:58,797 --> 00:13:59,756
[inhales sharply]
372
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,383
Let me just check my, um,
373
00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,386
calendar real fast.
374
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:05,387
Let me just check my‐‐
375
00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:08,849
Uh... yeah, you know, I have something,
376
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,100
but I can, I can move it.
377
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,894
So, yeah, I'm in.
KAT: Cool.
378
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,396
I don't like this.
Take it.
379
00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:20,152
♪
380
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,620
‐ Ha‐ha. That is exactly right.
381
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,248
‐ New York is full of people
who make you feel not enough.
382
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:36,251
There's always someone more successful
or richer or prettier than you.
383
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,713
Kat made me feel not enough.
384
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:40,547
[cash register dings]
385
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,007
She also made me feel special.
386
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:43,926
Until she left me.
387
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:48,013
After which I felt...
especially not enough.
388
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:48,931
‐ You wearing lipstick?
389
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,433
‐ No.
‐ That's lipstick.
390
00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:52,768
‐ Shut up.
391
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,270
It wouldn't be till Mac
392
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:58,357
that a person made me feel
both special and enough.
393
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:01,777
And if you find that person
in this fuckin' city,
394
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,612
you're crazy if you let them go.
395
00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:08,367
Ugh.
396
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,998
[street traffic]
397
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,836
Turns out I'm crazy.
398
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,341
♪ electronic music playing faintly ♪
399
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,425
[clears throat]
400
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,433
♪ electronic music grows louder ♪
401
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,435
‐ Rob.
‐ Hey, Kat.
402
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,436
How are you?
403
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:39,940
Mmm!
KAT: Oh!
404
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,484
‐ Are you still smoking?
405
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,443
‐ Yeah, a little.
406
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:44,903
WOMAN: Kat!
407
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,114
You need to tag me in the pictures.
KAT: Yeah.
408
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,198
Yeah, yeah.
409
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:49,700
‐ Oh, shit. Am I, am I crashing?
410
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,243
‐ What? No, no. Not at all.
411
00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:52,452
I told you it'd be a time.
412
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:53,787
‐ A time, right.
413
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,955
That's a lot of people.
414
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,416
Wow, this‐‐ Oh!
415
00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,085
Hmm. Got a... got a little‐‐
416
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,086
Can I?
‐ Yeah.
417
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:08,177
I... got a little lipstick on.
418
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,471
This is cool? This is‐‐
419
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,599
You got some swings.
‐ Yeah.
420
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:15,100
Just throw your shit everywhere‐‐
421
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:15,976
‐ Oh, yeah, cool.
422
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,561
Oh, I, um, I bought a little‐‐
423
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,188
‐ Oh, my God! Dude!
424
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:20,063
Oh, my God!
425
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:23,775
Do you remember the time
when we just drank the cheapest beer,
426
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,652
and nobody gave a shit?
‐ Yeah.
427
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:26,653
‐ So young and free.
428
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,488
‐ Yeah, I thought
it would be funny to bring it.
429
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,615
‐ Yup.
430
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,160
You know, I got the cutest jacket today.
431
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,288
And I think, I think you might be
the only person here
432
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:37,998
who could just pull it off.
433
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,000
Trust me, just try it on.
434
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,919
‐ I think, I'm fine. It's‐‐
‐ Trust me.
435
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,297
‐ Might be a little hot for this, no?
436
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:46,840
‐ Mm, no. It's breathable.
437
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,841
God!
438
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:51,929
Okay.
439
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:55,682
You're fucking remarkable.
440
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,392
Oh, my God.
441
00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:04,858
Hi, baby!
442
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,489
Pretty good, right?
‐ Yeah, this is.
443
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,866
Oh, hey. Um, I'll be right back.
444
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,952
Mingle.
‐ Oh‐‐ Okay.
445
00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:16,954
[party chatter]
446
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:21,291
‐ Hey, can you help me
with a photo real quick, over there?
447
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,544
‐ Oh, I'm, I'm not really good at that.
Maybe you wanna ask someone‐‐
448
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:26,463
‐ No, no, no, you don't have to be good.
Like, you just come here.
449
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:29,132
Like, make it look
very fucked up and vibey, okay?
450
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,425
Just‐‐
‐ Oh, okay. All right.
451
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:31,552
All right.
452
00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:33,971
‐ Wait. Turn the flash on, please.
‐ Oh, sorry. Okay.
453
00:17:33,971 --> 00:17:34,930
‐ Is it on?
‐ Yeah.
454
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:35,931
‐ Okay. Good.
455
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:38,767
ROB: Hot.
456
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,185
‐ Does it look real?
457
00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:42,604
‐ Uh, yeah, looks, looks real.
458
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,314
‐ Does it look fucked up and vibey?
459
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,483
‐ Um‐‐
‐ Wait, can you see the can?
460
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:48,861
‐ Yeah, the can's in the photo.
461
00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:49,778
‐ Cool.
462
00:17:50,529 --> 00:17:51,572
‐ Looks pretty fucked up.
463
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,657
‐ Oh, sick. Thank you very much.
464
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:54,533
‐ Yep.
465
00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:00,038
‐ [Kat clears throat]
‐ [bell tinkling]
466
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,999
‐ Dinner time! Come on.
467
00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:07,588
That's when I told her, no,
you can't come to my birthday party.
468
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,132
'Cause Beyoncé might be there
and you fucking bit her.
469
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,675
[laughter]
470
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,219
‐ Kat tells me you own a record store?
471
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,930
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ That's so dope.
472
00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:19,975
I've always been shy
about my musical preferences
473
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,643
for, like, fear of judgment.
474
00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:24,479
‐ Most of it comes down
to just blind conviction.
475
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,772
‐ Exactly.
476
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,150
Like, do men feel the need
to justify everything?
477
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,234
No.
478
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,945
They just... take up space, exist.
479
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:32,779
‐ Right.
480
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,407
‐ It's so bad‐ass for you
to not only occupy
481
00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:39,328
but freaking own...
such a historically masculine space.
482
00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:41,038
‐ Yeah, I guess it is kind of bad‐ass.
483
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:44,166
I should hate these people.
484
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:48,462
And I think I do,
but just... give me a second.
485
00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:50,297
‐ So how do you know Kat?
486
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,049
‐ Um... we used to date.
487
00:18:52,508 --> 00:18:54,092
But now I guess we're pals.
488
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:55,469
Yeah. How about you?
489
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:58,388
‐ Well, to be honest,
we've actually never met IRL.
490
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,806
But I've followed her for months.
491
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,225
‐ Right.
492
00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:03,644
‐ Actually, this is the first time
meeting anyone here.
493
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:05,729
‐ What?
‐ Don't get me wrong,
494
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:08,607
I'm usually averse to doing these
Instagram Influencer meet‐ups.
495
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:11,735
But we're getting paid so much
to hawk this Soju shit.
496
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:13,820
Korean money runs deep.
497
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,489
Take a selfie.
498
00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:19,535
♪ hip‐hop music playing ♪
499
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:21,787
♪
500
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,377
[indiscernible conversations]
501
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:31,421
‐ Yeah. I hate these people.
They're awful.
502
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,424
And the most awful of the awful?
503
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,677
Fucking Kat Monroe.
504
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,390
KAT:
Nobody in this world is making‐‐
505
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:44,726
ROB: She doesn't listen to anyone,she says terrible stupid things
506
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,728
that mean absolutely nothing,
507
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,230
and she totally gets away with it,
508
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,566
because no one here cares what you say
509
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:52,734
as long as your selfies are lit right.
510
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,737
[shutters clicking]
511
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,906
‐ Oh, my God. Yes!
512
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,409
Yes, I will see you soon. Call me, okay?
513
00:20:00,409 --> 00:20:02,119
WOMAN: Thank you.
KAT: Say hi to Alberto.
514
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,328
WOMAN: Bye.
515
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,663
KAT: Bye.
[door closes]
516
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:06,999
[sighs heavily]
Oh, fuck.
517
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,003
[exhales forcefully]
518
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:16,925
Hi, Rob.
519
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,010
‐ Hey, Kat.
520
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,137
‐ What?
521
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:22,764
‐ That was quite the production.
522
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,183
‐ Oh, my God, I know.
523
00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:26,643
I mean, it's, it's all a bit ridiculous,
but, you know,
524
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:29,855
it's opening doors...
and the sponsorship pays.
525
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:33,734
Plus these Soju dudes
were just... so eager.
526
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:36,361
I just felt bad for them, you know?
527
00:20:37,738 --> 00:20:38,906
You were great, by the way.
528
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:40,324
‐ Yeah, so, Kat,
529
00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:41,992
why'd you leave me for Caitlin?
530
00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,160
‐ Oh, my God. Fuck!
531
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:45,162
I fuckin' knew it!
532
00:20:45,162 --> 00:20:46,538
I fuckin' knew, motherfucker.
533
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:49,166
I knew that you were going through one
of those "what‐does‐it‐all‐mean?" things!
534
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,918
I fuckin' knew it, I'm telling you.
535
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,170
Shit!
‐ I am.
536
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,422
I am. Very much so.
537
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,635
It's okay, I can take it.
538
00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:04,223
Look.
539
00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:06,808
I mean, of course
540
00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:10,479
I thought that you were charming
and thoughtful.
541
00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,774
And I just, I adored the way
that you just got consumed
542
00:21:13,774 --> 00:21:15,234
by all of the things that you loved.
543
00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:19,029
But I just felt that I was...
dragging you a bit?
544
00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:21,865
And Caitlin was less hard work?
545
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:24,201
Like, a little bit sunnier.
546
00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:25,536
Sparkier.
547
00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:29,164
Like, a little bit more...
sure of herself?
548
00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:31,124
‐ Okay. All right.
Thank you, that's really helpful.
549
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:33,335
‐ And you just always seemed
550
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,840
like, how do I put this,
in search of yourself?
551
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:42,761
Like, looking for constant purpose
and validation?
552
00:21:43,804 --> 00:21:46,014
‐ Is that it?
‐ You could also be a bit obsessive,
553
00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,432
like, um, a little
554
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:49,810
too in touch with your feelings.
555
00:21:50,769 --> 00:21:52,396
‐ Okay.
‐ I hope it's not hurtful.
556
00:21:52,396 --> 00:21:53,981
You seem like you're doing great now,
557
00:21:53,981 --> 00:21:56,608
if it's, you know... any consolation.
558
00:21:57,568 --> 00:21:59,444
Oh, fuck. We gotta go.
559
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:02,739
I need to be out by 10 or I'm screwed.
560
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,448
‐ What do you mean?
561
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:05,367
‐ Oh, my God. You thought
that I live here?
562
00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:08,036
Fuck, you're funny.
563
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,205
Honey, this is an events rental. Come on.
564
00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,294
Let's go. Chop‐chop.
565
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,215
‐ Oh, shit.
566
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:22,009
Da‐da‐da‐da‐da!
567
00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:23,177
Read it to me!
568
00:22:23,886 --> 00:22:25,762
Okay. "Front woman looking for a band.
569
00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:28,140
"Once in a generation
soul samurai front woman
570
00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:30,100
"(Aretha‐meets‐Ann Wilson‐
meets‐Wilson Pickett‐
571
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,435
"meets‐Cree Summer‐meets‐Prince,
572
00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:33,395
but taller and not such a weirdo)"
‐Weirdo.
573
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,272
‐ seeks galactic cowboy supergroup."
574
00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:36,815
‐ Read my motherfuckin' influences.
575
00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:38,150
‐ "Influences must include:
576
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:41,153
"Stevie Wonder '66‐'77 only...
‐ Stevie Wonder!
577
00:22:41,153 --> 00:22:43,906
James Brown, Live at the Apollo 1963
(mostly side A)."
578
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:45,157
♪ Mostly side A ♪
579
00:22:45,157 --> 00:22:48,076
‐ "King Crimson, but not so prog.
Dungen but more Nordic.
580
00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:49,703
"Cream, but only Ginger and Jack.
581
00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,997
"The tambourine
on While My Guitar Gently Weeps.
582
00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:53,665
"The tambourine on Edwin Starr's War.
583
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:56,043
"Think Brian Eno producing
Beyoncé fronting Soul Coughing
584
00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:58,295
"but with Daniel Ash on guitar.
585
00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:00,172
See Cherise in store for more info."
586
00:23:00,172 --> 00:23:01,298
That's definitely more specific.
587
00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:03,884
[laughter]
588
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:09,848
SIMON: You look like
a high fashion Ninja Turtle.
589
00:23:09,848 --> 00:23:11,058
‐ No, it doesn't!
590
00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:14,436
Yo, I could have told you
that lady is the motherfuckin' worst.
591
00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:17,147
Bro, she livestreams
her workouts every morning.
592
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,398
It's the ultimate hate‐watch.
593
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:21,818
‐ You know she told me I was obsessive
and too in touch with my feelings.
594
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:27,658
‐ Those are not the words I would use‐‐
‐ What? No. Not at all. Fuck her.
595
00:23:27,658 --> 00:23:28,992
‐ Yeah.
CHERISE: That is crazy.
596
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:29,910
‐ Yeah.
597
00:23:31,328 --> 00:23:33,539
‐ Yeah, she said
some really fuckin' hurtful shit.
598
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:38,126
I am... yeah, I'm done with this...
this whole thing. I'm done.
599
00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:39,545
‐ Thank you. Thank you.
600
00:23:39,545 --> 00:23:41,421
‐ You know, it's weird and stupid.
601
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:43,298
‐ I'm glad you finally realized that.
602
00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:48,136
‐ Although‐‐
‐ Fuck me!
603
00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:51,181
‐ Why should I care what a person
like that thinks about me, anyway?
604
00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:52,474
‐ Exactly.
‐ You should not.
605
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:53,892
‐ She sucks.
‐ She sucks.
606
00:23:53,892 --> 00:23:57,354
‐ I should want... to be rejected
by someone like that.
607
00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:58,564
‐ How the fuck did you get
from that to this?
608
00:23:58,564 --> 00:23:59,690
‐ What kind of mentality is that? No.
ROB: Yes.
609
00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:01,859
Yes. Yes!
CHERISE: Are you serious?
610
00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:03,652
‐ Oh, my God. Freedom!
611
00:24:03,652 --> 00:24:06,738
The lessons. The lessons.
This idea is so fuckin' baller.
612
00:24:07,239 --> 00:24:09,283
‐ You're gonna end up
with your ex's ballers on your face,
613
00:24:09,283 --> 00:24:10,826
if you keep up
with this list shit, all right?
614
00:24:10,826 --> 00:24:13,161
Now, you gonna sit here and lie to me
and tell me you ain't fucked
none of them exes?
615
00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:14,997
‐ No. This is about the truth, Cherise.
616
00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:16,164
SIMON: Exactly.
617
00:24:16,164 --> 00:24:18,792
Which is why you need to quit
while you're ahead.
618
00:24:18,792 --> 00:24:20,043
‐ What do you mean?
619
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,253
‐ Just stop.
620
00:24:21,253 --> 00:24:23,088
Quit before you get to the one
that broke your heart.
621
00:24:23,088 --> 00:24:24,715
‐ Mac is next.
622
00:24:24,715 --> 00:24:26,717
SIMON:
Yeah. Just don't do it.
623
00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:32,723
‐ Nope. I'm doing it.
624
00:24:32,723 --> 00:24:34,224
‐ Okay. Sure.
625
00:24:35,893 --> 00:24:36,768
[slams glass on table]
626
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:39,062
‐ Four down. One to go.
[grunts]
627
00:24:39,688 --> 00:24:42,566
‐ Yo, what is the probability
that she gonna fuck Mac.
628
00:24:42,566 --> 00:24:43,984
‐ Fifty‐fifty.
629
00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:46,987
♪
630
00:24:46,987 --> 00:24:49,656
♪ Beastie Boys' I Don't Know playing ♪
631
00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:52,326
♪
632
00:24:52,326 --> 00:24:55,454
♪ What's pleasing to ♪
633
00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:57,789
♪ The eye ♪
634
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:05,714
♪ In the delusion of my sight ♪
635
00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:12,554
♪ Is not what I find ♪
636
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:15,933
♪ When I reach into the light ♪
637
00:25:17,601 --> 00:25:22,022
♪ I have lost my mind ♪
638
00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:23,232
[chuckles]
639
00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:25,901
"What are you doing, Rob?
Why are you here?"
640
00:25:25,901 --> 00:25:27,236
Yeah, fuck that.
[clears throat]
641
00:25:29,071 --> 00:25:30,072
MAC: Hey.
642
00:25:30,489 --> 00:25:31,823
‐ Hey!
643
00:25:32,783 --> 00:25:33,825
‐ Rob.
644
00:25:36,245 --> 00:25:37,663
‐ Surprise!
645
00:25:37,663 --> 00:25:38,830
‐ What's up?
646
00:25:39,289 --> 00:25:40,290
‐ Nothin'.
647
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,211
Oh, what's up? Why am I out here?
648
00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:48,382
Um, yeah, I was, uh, I was just over
at the bar with Simon and Cherise,
649
00:25:48,382 --> 00:25:50,342
and we were talking
and I was gonna walk home
650
00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:52,553
and then I remembered
that you live near here now,
651
00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:54,429
so I thought, um, maybe I would stop‐‐
652
00:25:54,429 --> 00:25:55,347
‐ Rob.
653
00:25:56,098 --> 00:25:57,683
ROB: Yeah?
‐ Do you want to come up for a sec?
654
00:25:58,183 --> 00:25:59,226
‐ Yeah. That'd be great.
655
00:26:08,485 --> 00:26:09,444
‐ You want a drink?
656
00:26:10,112 --> 00:26:11,280
‐ Uh, yeah.
657
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,823
‐ I think I've got some
of that tea you like.
658
00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:15,993
‐ Maybe something stronger.
‐ Yeah.
659
00:26:16,493 --> 00:26:17,494
Definitely.
‐ Yeah.
660
00:26:19,121 --> 00:26:20,247
[clears throat]
661
00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:25,294
Oh, hey, Marco.
662
00:26:26,128 --> 00:26:27,129
What's up, little dude?
663
00:26:29,256 --> 00:26:30,549
‐ [meows]
‐ [Rob chuckles]
664
00:26:36,388 --> 00:26:37,431
You got your own.
665
00:26:38,056 --> 00:26:39,183
‐ Yeah, you trained me well.
666
00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:42,060
Computer speakers
will never sound the same.
667
00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:43,812
‐ Need to work on your
record collection though.
668
00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:45,814
That is pitiful, my friend.
669
00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:46,857
‐ I know.
670
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:48,358
‐ Nice digs, dude.
671
00:26:49,193 --> 00:26:50,194
Very nice.
672
00:26:51,862 --> 00:26:52,863
Thank you.
673
00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:58,911
‐ You still rocking the jacket.
674
00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:01,496
‐ Yep, yep, I am.
675
00:27:02,414 --> 00:27:04,875
I, I tried switching it up recently but
676
00:27:05,834 --> 00:27:07,211
'twas not the groove.
677
00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:09,046
‐ No. Don't do that. That's your look.
678
00:27:11,006 --> 00:27:14,676
‐ Hey, I'm really sorry about
the late night playlist thing.
679
00:27:14,676 --> 00:27:16,386
That was, um,
680
00:27:17,596 --> 00:27:19,056
not my finest hour.
681
00:27:19,056 --> 00:27:20,599
‐ Yeah, it was a weird move.
682
00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:21,808
‐ I just said that.
683
00:27:23,060 --> 00:27:25,103
Yes, I'm sorry.
That's what I'm trying to say.
684
00:27:25,103 --> 00:27:25,979
‐ It's cool.
685
00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:28,482
I'm sorry, I know I should have replied‐‐
686
00:27:28,482 --> 00:27:30,442
‐ No, no, no, it's totally fine.
687
00:27:33,278 --> 00:27:34,321
‐ It's dope though.
688
00:27:34,321 --> 00:27:35,531
I've been listening.
689
00:27:35,989 --> 00:27:36,990
‐ Oh, yeah?
‐ Yeah.
690
00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:38,534
‐ In order?
‐ Do you think I'm a crazy person?
691
00:27:39,535 --> 00:27:41,370
I learned my lesson many moons ago, Rob:
692
00:27:41,787 --> 00:27:44,748
thou shalt not shuffle
the lady's playlists.
693
00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,792
‐ I'm just saying
it's like that for a reason.
694
00:27:46,792 --> 00:27:48,210
There's a story there, man.
695
00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:49,211
‐ Oh, I get it.
696
00:27:56,552 --> 00:27:57,636
It's good to see you, Rob.
697
00:27:58,762 --> 00:27:59,680
‐ Yeah, you too.
698
00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:08,021
‐ I'm sorry we never really talked
after everything went down, you know.
699
00:28:08,397 --> 00:28:09,815
‐ Yeah. Me too.
700
00:28:11,942 --> 00:28:14,736
The whole "moving across the Atlantic"
thing didn't really give me
701
00:28:15,529 --> 00:28:17,114
a "let's talk about it" vibe.
702
00:28:17,114 --> 00:28:17,823
So‐‐
703
00:28:19,408 --> 00:28:20,492
‐ Yeah, well.
704
00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:23,161
You know, I tried to talk to you, Rob,
705
00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:25,998
I tried over and over, but you
don't listen, you never listened.
706
00:28:25,998 --> 00:28:27,749
‐ Oh, I, I never listened?
707
00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:30,252
I nev‐‐ I nev‐‐ Okay. All right.
708
00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:32,504
Interesting.
709
00:28:33,422 --> 00:28:34,923
And, um,
[clears throat]
710
00:28:34,923 --> 00:28:36,592
Lily, she's a, she's a good listener?
711
00:28:36,592 --> 00:28:38,343
‐ Oh, Jesus Christ!
‐ What? No, no, I just wanna know.
712
00:28:38,343 --> 00:28:41,054
She understands you? She nods
at all the right times and stuff?
713
00:28:42,264 --> 00:28:43,265
‐ What do you want, Rob?
714
00:28:50,147 --> 00:28:51,148
‐ I‐‐
715
00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:53,483
I want you to‐‐
716
00:28:55,027 --> 00:28:57,321
I want you to tell me that
it's not serious between you two.
717
00:28:58,864 --> 00:29:02,075
I want you to tell me
that you haven't proposed... yet.
718
00:29:03,744 --> 00:29:05,245
And I want that to be the truth.
719
00:29:07,998 --> 00:29:08,999
‐ Uh‐‐
720
00:29:14,171 --> 00:29:15,589
I can't do that, Rob.
721
00:29:22,638 --> 00:29:24,473
‐ Okay. Okay.
722
00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:26,558
[door slams shut]
723
00:29:27,226 --> 00:29:30,229
[breathing heavily]
724
00:29:33,273 --> 00:29:36,527
Why couldn't I just... ask him?
725
00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:38,362
I asked all the others.
726
00:29:38,862 --> 00:29:40,614
I mean, that's what I went there
to do, right?
727
00:29:40,614 --> 00:29:42,950
And I fucking choked.
728
00:29:44,493 --> 00:29:46,870
Instead, I ask him if he's engaged?
729
00:29:48,664 --> 00:29:50,332
And he's engaged.
730
00:29:52,334 --> 00:29:53,377
Jesus!
731
00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:56,380
♪ David Bowie's It Ain't Easy playing ♪
732
00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:59,383
♪
733
00:30:04,763 --> 00:30:08,141
♪ When you climbto the top of the mountain ♪
734
00:30:08,851 --> 00:30:11,436
♪ Look out over the sea ♪
735
00:30:13,772 --> 00:30:15,399
What am I trying to figure out?
736
00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:19,194
That I'm doomed to die alone,
and it's my fault?
737
00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:22,406
Or it's not, and it's fate?
738
00:30:22,990 --> 00:30:24,074
Either way, I'm alone.
739
00:30:24,867 --> 00:30:26,034
Either way, there's no Mac.
740
00:30:27,411 --> 00:30:28,412
Either way‐‐
741
00:30:28,412 --> 00:30:32,958
♪ ...strange things circulating round ♪
742
00:30:32,958 --> 00:30:36,920
♪ All the people have got their problems ♪
743
00:30:37,796 --> 00:30:40,007
♪ That ain't nothing new ♪
744
00:30:40,007 --> 00:30:41,049
It's happening.
745
00:30:42,092 --> 00:30:43,302
It's happening.
746
00:30:45,804 --> 00:30:47,556
Well, thanks for tuning in, folks.
747
00:30:47,556 --> 00:30:49,808
Next week on the Sad Lady show,
748
00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:50,851
we're gonna team up
749
00:30:51,476 --> 00:30:54,688
and fight the loneliness together
with cats and cigarettes
750
00:30:54,688 --> 00:30:56,440
and reruns of Murder, She Wrote.
751
00:31:00,068 --> 00:31:01,612
This was a terrible idea.
752
00:31:01,612 --> 00:31:04,531
♪ It ain't easy ♪
753
00:31:05,073 --> 00:31:08,035
♪ It ain't easy ♪
754
00:31:08,493 --> 00:31:11,413
♪ It ain't easy to get to heaven ♪
755
00:31:11,413 --> 00:31:15,709
♪ When you're going down ♪
756
00:31:15,709 --> 00:31:19,630
♪ Well, all the peoplehave got their problems ♪
757
00:31:20,506 --> 00:31:22,758
♪ That ain't nothing new ♪
758
00:31:23,926 --> 00:31:27,304
♪ But with the help of the good Lord ♪
759
00:31:27,763 --> 00:31:29,932
♪ We can all pull on through ♪
760
00:31:30,474 --> 00:31:33,352
♪ We can all pull on through ♪
761
00:31:34,478 --> 00:31:37,022
♪ Get there in the end ♪
762
00:31:38,065 --> 00:31:41,443
♪ Sometimes it'll take you right up ♪
763
00:31:41,443 --> 00:31:44,363
♪ And sometimes down again ♪
764
00:31:44,363 --> 00:31:47,282
♪ It ain't easy ♪
765
00:31:47,866 --> 00:31:50,410
♪ It ain't easy ♪
766
00:31:51,245 --> 00:31:54,248
♪ It ain't easy to get to heaven ♪
767
00:31:54,248 --> 00:31:57,626
♪ When you're going down ♪
56704
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