Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(HISSING)

(CACKLING)

(HORSE SNORTING)

-Welcome home, you silly dog. -(HAROLD PANTING)

Harold!

-(DOOR CLOSING) -Good to have you back, man.

I see the surgery was a success.

Yeah. The vet said I shouldn't eat any more soccer balls.

You might wanna be careful. I just saw a tasty one rolling around upstairs.

Oh, really?

No. Not really.

-Can I eat it? -Uh, no.

(YAWNS)

Well, I'mma head up to bed, dude.

The vet said I should rest up.

All right. Relax, man. Glad you're home.

-Hey, Chester? -Yeah, buddy?

Will you read me a bedtime story?

Anything for you, buddy.

(CLANKS)

-Hey, Chester. -Yeah?

I'm stuck.

(THUDS)

(STRAINING)

Ugh. (EXHALES)

You wanna see my scar?

Oh! Nope, nope. I'm... I'm good.

It's pretty awesome.

Let's just see what Mina's reading.

Uh, "Algebra 2."

Well, that's gonna go right over your head.

"Where the Red Fern Grows."

Not gonna put you through that in your condition.

(BUNNICULA CACKLING)

-Oh, hey, Bunnicula. -(EXCLAIMS)

Got your own book, huh?

(READING COVER)

Strangely enough, that seems just about perfect. Nice work, Buns.

Wanna see my scar, Bunnicula?

CHESTER: Nope. Nobody needs to see that.

Ah. Just rest your peepers.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(READING) "Harold has a spiderlamb."

Hey, pretty cool.

There's a character in here with the same name as you.

-(CLAPPING) -Oh, yeah. That's wicked awesome.

(READING) "Harold had a spiderlamb."

Spiderlamb?

(READING)

"And everywhere that Harold went,

"his nights were filled with dread."

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(GASPS) What the...

-Get to the part with Gandalf. -Ooh!

All right, what is a spiderlamb, and where did it go?

Keep reading?

Maybe I should switch to a book that's, you know, not glowing.

What kind of book is this, anyways?

-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH) -Hey, give it back.

Aw, what have you done?

(ENERGY CRACKLING)

Oh, sweet. It's a pop-up book.

(SNORING)

-(SPIDERLAMB BLEATS) -That is not normal.

-(BLEATING) -(OBJECTS BREAKING)

(CHESTER SCREAMS)

-CHESTER: Call an exterminator! -(WEBS SLINGING)

-I can't believe this is happening! -(OBJECTS SMASHING)

I'm gonna get out of here, like, right now!

(CHESTER YOWLS)

(YELLS) Oh, my gosh!

-Okay. I got it. -(CRASHING)

Nobody move. Everybody! I'm moving!

-(BLEATING CONTINUES) -Get out of here!

Help! (GRUNTS)

(PANTING)

-(OBJECTS SMASHING) -(MOCKINGLY) "Oh, hello! My name is Bunnicula.

"Here, take my evil storybook

"and read it to your sick friend."

"Aw, thanks, Bunnicula, I'll do that right now,

"because nothing you ever say goes wrong and tries to eat everyone!"

(BLEATING AND SMASHING CONTINUES)

What, do they not have sarcasm in vampire rabbit land?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Yes, I get it.

You want me to keep reading the book

that the eight-legged monster sheep came out of.

The exact same monster sheep that is currently trying to eat...

Wait. Hold on.

(HAROLD SNORING)

Yes, the same monster that's currently trying to eat Harold.

The vet said Harold needs rest.

Getting eaten is not restful!

What we need is a brilliant rescue plan.

-And we need it now. -(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I said "brilliant." Which means, not you!

(SPIDERLAMB BLEATING)

-(BLEATING) -(HAROLD SNORING)

-(TOY SNAPPING) -Hold it off!

Harold, are you okay? Are you resting?

(SNORING)

Mommy, can you turn down the TV?

He's okay. I'll carry him to safety,

you take care of the spiderlamb.

(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)

(GROWLING)

Hey! Uh-huh. No vampire powers.

Magic is what got us into this mess.

Just keep spanking it with that spatula.

(GROANS)

(BLEATS)

What are you doing? You're making it mad.

(BLEATING ANGRILY)

It's slinging webs!

No wait! It's slinging little, woolly sweaters.

Well, that actually looks really cozy.

Maybe it's not an evil spiderlamb after all.

-Okay, do me! -(SQUIRTING)

Oh, it feels like cashmere, only softer and more suave.

Ugh, suave, but significantly sticky.

(BLEATING)

Ahhh! Super sticky stocking caps!

(SCREAMS)

(GRUMBLING)

(BLEATING CONTINUES)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Oh!

-(THUDDING) -(CHESTER GROANING)

(SPIDERLAMB LUMBERING AND BLEATING)

(DULL BLEATING)

So, plan B.

-I can't believe Michelle turned out to be a werewolf. -(DISTANT BLEATING)

She was our ride home.

-We have got to find another way out. -(BLEATING CONTINUES)

Let's split up.

-Marsha, watch! He's gonna get eaten. -(DISTANT SMASHING)

Why are there so many sheep noises in this movie?

I know. It's unnerving right?

I... I think it's a metaphor.

Like the people are sheep and the wolves are...

Wolves or something?

"Get him" is a perfectly valid plan, just so you know.

But this one's gonna be even better.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I understand that you want me to read the evil book because you're evil.

But instead, I'm gonna feed you this squash.

Hmm, hmm, na, na, na, na, na...

This is not a trick.

Think back to the last time you ate a squash.

(SLURPING)

(GRUNTS)

-(EXCLAIMS) -Yup,

you kicked me through a wall.

So, I'm not giving you this because it's a good idea or because I like you.

This is a tool to save Harold!

You're gonna drink this squash,

then you're gonna take that giant, disgusting foot

and you're gonna use it to squash that spiderlamb.

I like to call this little plan,

"Squash for squash sake." Huh?

(EXCLAIMS)

(SNORING)

(SMASHING)

Oh, my gosh!

(SNORING CONTINUES)

CHESTER: That is a cool scar!

I mean, it's shaped like a lightning bolt.

It doesn't get any better than that.

Wow, maybe I oughta

-eat a soccer ball. -(SQUIRTING)

Ow! Bunnicula, focus! Squash!

-(SMASHING) -CHESTER: Ooh, oh!

(SQUIRTING)

CHESTER: Oh!

(EXCLAIMS)

(SPIDERLAMB TAUNTING)

(BUNNICULA STRAINING)

Well, I suppose we should've seen that coming.

-(HOWLING) -(SPIDERLAMB BLEATING)

The surround sound is amazing, right?

-It's kind of freaking me out. -(DISTANT CRASHING)

I know, right?

All right. Harold needs rest,

and that's what we promised him.

So, we just march back in there,

and we take control...

CHESTER: Oh. Oh, my gosh!

Is it doing what I think it's doing?

(BLEATING)

Okay, the spiderlamb is laying eggs...

(GAGGING) All over Harold.

It's gonna be okay.

Maybe this isn't the time for a rescue plan.

Yeah, nope. It's time for panic.

We need fire! Lots of fire!

Or acid!

Okay, we have to change our names and move to Zanzibar.

(GROANING)

You're right, you're right.

We have to save Harold.

(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)

(MIMICS SPIDERLAMB)

(EXCLAIMS)

So, you think if I keep reading the book,

it'll make the monster vanish.

Well, that's the worst plan I've ever heard.

Okay, I'll grab the book. You distract the thing!

(HAROLD SNORING)

Ugh.

-(BLEATING) -(WHISTLES)

(BLEATING)

(BLEATING)

I said distract it, not get its phone number, but whatever.

Aha! The book!

And it's totally stuck to these disgusting monster eggs.

That's hilarious.

Ew, ew, ew, ew...

Okay. (MUTTERING)

(READING) "Harold had a spiderlamb..."

Blah, blah, blah... "Dread..."

(PARLOR MUSIC PLAYING)

(CLAPPING)

(BOOING)

-Huh? -(CHESTER READING)

"The spiderlamb..." So cruel.

"And so, the kitty read the book,

"and, uh, between his sobbing cries,

"he watched in utter terror as the monster grew in size."

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!

(BLEATING)

(WHISTLES)

(CONTINUES BLEATING)

(SQUIRTING)

"And then he turned the final page and the spiderlamb was mad.

"And then the creature was banished back to the foul, dark realm

"of King Bagaboo the wicked,

"never to return to this world again!"

(CHESTER SCREAMS)

(BLEATING CONTINUES)

(BLEATING IN PANIC)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

Well, that wasn't very scary.

But on the plus side, it was super loud.

I'm saying two stars.

What'd you think, Marsha?

(WEAKLY) Is it over?

Well, Bunnicula, I have to admit,

magic did a great job of cleaning up this mess.

But I still hate magic.

Here, put it someplace safe.

(SNORING) Ooh!

Mmm.

Hey, hairball, how you feeling?

That was the best nap of my whole life, I think.

Well, yeah, I'm not surprised.

B and I have been keeping things, uh, mellow for you.

I mean, uh, kind of surprised.

Aw, you guys are the best.

(YAWNS) I think I'm gonna go back to sleepy town for a minute,

if you don't mind?

Can we get you anything to help? More, uh, milk or...

No, no. I'll just count those funny little sheep,

like I did before.

(LAUGHING) Yeah, right. All right, Harold.

You just count those funny little...

-(CRACKING) -(GASPS)

(BABY SPIDERLAMBS BLEATING)

-(BLEATING CONTINUES) -...101, 102,

(YAWNING) 103...

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)