subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for An.American.Pickle.2020.720p.WEB.H264-SECRECY-HI

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian Download

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish Download

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian Download

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,000 [shovel thudding] 2 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000 [man panting] 3 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 [thudding continues] 4 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 [water splashing] 5 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,000 [Herschel] In old country of Schlupsk, I am ditch digger. 6 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 It is not always great. 7 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,000 Life is difficult. 8 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000 But then one day, 9 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,000 Hashem gives me a miracle. 10 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,000 [indistinct chatter] 11 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,000 [Herschel] Her name is Sarah. 12 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,000 She is strong 13 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,000 and she has all her teeth, top and bottom. 14 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000 I decide at once to woo her. 15 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000 [speaking foreign language] 16 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,000 [speaking Yiddish] 17 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,000 [Herschel] Wooing fails, 18 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,000 but I am determined to win her. 19 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,000 Every day, I dig twice the ditch. 20 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,000 It is greatest summer of my life. 21 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000 We have so much in common. 22 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,000 Her favorite color black. My favorite color black. 23 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,000 Her parents murdered by Cossacks. 24 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,000 My parents murdered by Cossacks. 25 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,000 I notice nice little thing about her. 26 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000 She always sneeze same way. 27 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,000 Four time. 28 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,000 Is adorable. 29 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,000 Sometimes, when we want to be alone, 30 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,000 we go to very special bog. 31 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,000 We tell each other all our hopes and dreams. 32 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000 [Sarah speaking foreign language] 33 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000 [chuckles] 34 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000 Oh. 35 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,000 [both chuckling] 36 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000 [sighs] 37 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,000 [Herschel] We have wedding in front of whole town. 38 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,000 Hashem blesses us. 39 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,000 [shouts in foreign language] 40 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000 [Herschel] For a bit. 41 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 We are attacked by Cossacks. 42 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,000 Bloodthirsty, Jew-hungry, 43 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Russian maniacs drunk from vodka. 44 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000 Jew! 45 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,000 -[sword swishing] -[indistinct shouting] 46 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:32,000 [Herschel] The Cossacks destroy our whole world. 47 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 But... 48 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,000 we are the Greenbaums. 49 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,000 We are strong. 50 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,000 And together there is no stopping us. 51 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:48,000 We keep fighting till we have American dream. 52 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000 [man] All right, let's get these 53 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000 dumb Polacks outta here. 54 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000 [child screams] 55 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,000 [Herschel] Compared to Cossacks, 56 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,000 Americans very kind. 57 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,000 [man] All right. This way, you filthy Jews. Let's go. 58 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,000 [Herschel] I find good job in pickle factory. 59 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 A good Jewish business. 60 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,000 The foreman will not let me mix salt. 61 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Or sort cucumber. 62 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,000 But he says I can chase rats with club 63 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,000 and he will pay nickel for every ten Herschel smash. 64 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000 [rat squeaking] 65 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,000 [grunts] 66 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,000 [Herschel] It is not dream job. 67 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,000 But I am grateful for chance to prove my worth. 68 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,000 Get your seltzer water here! Just one bright, shiny nickel. 69 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,000 [Herschel] Some things still out of reach. 70 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Seltzer water. Get your seltzer water! 71 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,000 Yeah, you, sir. Seltzer water today? 72 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000 It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the men. 73 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000 It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the ladies. 74 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:44,000 [Herschel] But over time we work and save. 75 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 I grant Sarah's wish. 76 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:51,000 A beautiful Greenbaum family plot 77 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000 for us to share. 78 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000 Forever. 79 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,000 Then Hashem gives us biggest miracle of all. 80 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000 So one night to Sarah 81 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000 I make this vow. 82 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,000 Our child will be strong. 83 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,000 And our child's child will be strong. 84 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,000 Our family will prosper. 85 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,000 And in 100 years, 86 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000 the Greenbaums will be powerful. 87 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,000 Successful. 88 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000 The strongest in the land. 89 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 [Herschel] And then one day, 90 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,000 everything changed. 91 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 [rats squeaking] 92 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,000 [squeaking] 93 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 [screaming] 94 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000 Attention! 95 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,000 This factory has been condemned. 96 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 [indistinct chatter] 97 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000 [thuds] 98 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000 -Damn it. -Shit. 99 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000 [boy 1] Dude, we're never gonna find this, bro. 100 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000 [boy 2] No, it's definitely this way. 101 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000 Whoa. 102 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,000 [lid clattering] 103 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,000 [all screaming] 104 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,000 [boy] Let's go! 105 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,000 [breathing heavily] 106 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000 -[indistinct chatter] -[cameras flashing] 107 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,000 Please! Please! Settle down. 108 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,000 Essentially, the pickle brine preserved him perfectly. 109 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,000 It's been 100 years, but he hasn't aged a day. 110 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,000 -That's impossible. -You don't honestly expect us 111 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,000 to buy that, do you? 112 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000 What's the science behind it? 113 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000 Please, let me explain. 114 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000 [Herschel] The scientist explains. 115 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,000 His logic is good. 116 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000 It satisfies everyone. 117 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,000 -Oh, yes. -It makes sense. 118 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 -Absolutely. -Very clear. 119 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000 [Herschel] But... 120 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000 I'm very sad. 121 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,000 The world has changed. 122 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,000 Everything I know is gone. And... 123 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,000 ...everyone. 124 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000 [doctor] I'm so sorry, Herschel. 125 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,000 You will check again. 126 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,000 We already checked the city records twice. 127 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000 She wasn't brined. 128 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000 She's been dead for 80 years. 129 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000 You will check again. 130 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000 We already checked. 131 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000 [grunts] 132 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,000 [alarm beeping] 133 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000 [Herschel] My Sarah is gone. 134 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,000 Our child is gone. 135 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000 I have nothing. 136 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,000 Then I get some great news. 137 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,000 Great news, Herschel. 138 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000 It took a little bit of doing, 139 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000 but we were able to track down a living relative. 140 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,000 I have family? 141 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,000 Yes. 142 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000 A great-grandson. 143 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,000 And, as luck would have it, he lives right here in Brooklyn 144 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,000 and he's exactly the same age as you. 145 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,000 -His name is "Ben Greenbaum." -[sighs] 146 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,000 And we're contacting him right now. 147 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000 Thank you. 148 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,000 [Herschel] I am so excited I forget all my misery. 149 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000 Even though I have not met this Ben, 150 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,000 I can see him in my mind. 151 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,000 He will be just like how I vowed to Sarah, 152 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000 powerful. 153 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,000 Successful. 154 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,000 The strongest in the land. 155 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,000 [man speaking indistinctly] 156 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,000 [man sneezes four times] 157 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000 -[woman] Bless you. -[man] Oh, I'm sorry. 158 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000 Excuse me. 159 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,000 Greenbaum. 160 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 Yeah. 161 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000 Greenbaum. 162 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,000 Greenbaum. 163 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000 Greenbaum. 164 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Greenbaum! 165 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000 Greenbaum! 166 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 Greenbaum! 167 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000 [laughs] 168 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,000 All right! 169 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000 This is nuts. [laughs] 170 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000 It must be so crazy for you. 171 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000 Very crazy. 172 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,000 Crazy for me, too, man. 173 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Are you allowed to leave? 174 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,000 Do you wanna come back to my apartment? 175 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,000 -Very much. -All right. Let's go. 176 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,000 [Ben] Yeah, I got him. I'm his great-grandson. 177 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,000 So he's gonna stay with me for a bit. Yeah. Thank you. 178 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000 [car honking] 179 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,000 [Ben] Take it in. 180 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000 Cool, huh? 181 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000 Make way. 182 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,000 [Ben] It's a scooter. 183 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,000 They're actually pretty fun. 184 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,000 Anyway, I can't wait to show you, like, the future. 185 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,000 There's so much cool shit, man. You're gonna love it. 186 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000 [horn honking] 187 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000 It's cool, man. It's a cab. 188 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,000 It's gonna take us back to my apartment. Hop in. 189 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000 [chuckles] It's all right. 190 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000 Oh, yeah, crawl in. 191 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 There you go. You got it. 192 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000 We're going to Brooklyn, please. Thank you. 193 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,000 Here we are, man. 194 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,000 Home, sweet home. 195 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000 Hey, check this out. 196 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,000 Alexa, lights. 197 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000 Pretty cool, huh? 198 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000 All this yours? 199 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000 Yeah. I mean, I don't own it or anything like that. 200 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,000 I do live here by myself. I work from home, 201 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,000 though, a lot. 202 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,000 It would be nice, honestly, to have someone around. 203 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,000 So you can stay here as long as you want. 204 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,000 I do not want to be burden to you. 205 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,000 It's not a burden, Herschel. At all. I mean... 206 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000 I'm amazed you're alive. [chuckles] 207 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,000 I really never thought I would get a chance 208 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000 to meet another Greenbaum. So... 209 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000 Neither did I. 210 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000 You must be thirsty. 211 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000 I mean, you were brined for, like, a century. 212 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000 And there's salt in brine, right? 213 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 So you must be pretty parched, to say the least. 214 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000 Can I get you something to drink? 215 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,000 Macadamia milk? Or there's cashew milk. 216 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,000 I got pea milk. They're milking peas now. 217 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,000 They're milking everything these days, dude. 218 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,000 You name it, they're milking it. 219 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,000 I got mint tea. I have kombucha. 220 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 -"Kombucha"? -Yeah. 221 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,000 It's fermented... stuff. Honestly, I don't even know. 222 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000 Tastes nasty. But it's very healthy. 223 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000 -Would you like some? -Is fine. 224 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,000 They inject drink into my arm in hospital. 225 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,000 -I am fine. -Fair enough. 226 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000 There must be something I can get you. 227 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,000 Would you like some seltzer? 228 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,000 You have seltzer. 229 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000 Oh, I got seltzer for days, son. 230 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,000 I got a whole seltzer machine. It's pretty cool, actually. 231 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,000 Ya just fill this up there. 232 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,000 That's it. You put in the cartridge. 233 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,000 "Cartridge." 234 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,000 And you just press that button. Makes you seltzer. 235 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000 Press button. 236 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000 Exactly. You wanna press it? 237 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,000 You'll let me press seltzer button? 238 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,000 Yeah. It's a pretty big deal, but we're family. 239 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000 So you can press the seltzer button. 240 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 Knock yourself out. 241 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000 Yeah! 242 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 There you go. You're seltzering. 243 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000 Pretty cool, huh? 244 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000 -The bubble. -So many bubbles. 245 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000 Well... 246 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,000 One for you. And one for me. 247 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000 Cheers. 248 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,000 L'chaim. 249 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000 Ooh! 250 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000 [chuckles] 251 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000 Yeah. 252 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 Lots of bubbles. [chuckles] 253 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000 Crazy. 254 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000 This must be very overwhelming for you. 255 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000 It's a lot. It's a little much. 256 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000 But I think you'll find there's actually, like, 257 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000 some pretty cool stuff about the future. 258 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,000 [scoffing] 259 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 Oh, yeah. Exactly. Not just that. 260 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,000 Uh, I know what else you might like. 261 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000 You like music, right? 262 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000 Yes. 263 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Watch this. 264 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 Alexa, play... 265 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000 oldies. 266 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000 [Alexa] Here's a station for you. Oldies. 267 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000 ["Stay" playing] 268 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,000 ♪ Stay ♪ 269 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:22,000 ♪ Just a little bit longer ♪ 270 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000 ♪ Please, please Please, please ♪ 271 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,000 ♪ Tell me you're going to ♪ 272 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000 Pretty cool, huh? 273 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,000 It's a stereo, 274 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,000 and it plays music from the Internet. 275 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 It comes through these speakers. 276 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000 Pretty good, huh? 277 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000 It's a good song. 278 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000 Here, check it, check it, check it. 279 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000 ♪ Oh, won't you stay ♪ 280 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000 It's you. It's you singing. 281 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,000 No, I'm lip-synching. Get in there. 282 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000 -Get in there, man. -It's okay. 283 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000 -It's okay. -Get in there. 284 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000 ♪ You say that you will ♪ 285 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 ♪ Say that you will ♪ 286 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000 I watch you dance. 287 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000 I'm a very good dancer for my time. 288 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000 Come on. Get in there. 289 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,000 Come on. Get in there. I know you want to. 290 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000 Yeah. 291 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Oh, there you go. 292 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000 ♪ Just a little bit longer ♪ 293 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,000 ♪ Please, please Please, please ♪ 294 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,000 ♪ Tell me you're going to ♪ 295 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000 Brooklyn's probably changed a lot since you last saw it, 296 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000 I would imagine. 297 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000 Good pizza, huh? 298 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000 Hey. 299 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000 They are couple? 300 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000 Yeah, yeah. Interracial couples 301 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000 totally cool now 302 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000 in parts of the country. 303 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000 Yeah, check it out. 304 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000 Twinsies. 305 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000 Hey, nice clothes. Is that vintage? 306 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 -Good, huh? -Hmm? 307 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000 Kosher, too. 308 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000 This is a scooter. 309 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,000 You have legs. You do not need this thing. 310 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,000 That is a weirdly inappropriate thing to say. 311 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,000 How many pairs of shoes you own? 312 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000 Um, like seven, maybe? 313 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,000 Seven. How many sock? 314 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 I have like 20, 25 pairs of socks. 315 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 [chuckles] 316 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000 Twenty-five socks! Twenty-five. 317 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000 It's a lot of socks. 318 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000 -You only have two feet, right? -[laughs] 319 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000 No, it's just these. [laughs] 320 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:30,000 Ben Greenbaum. Owner of 25 pair of sock. 321 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000 It's pretty normal for today. 322 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000 Tell me, what is it you do for job? 323 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000 Wait, let me guess. You're a doctor. 324 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000 No. You're a lawyer. 325 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000 No. 326 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000 Close. Freelance mobile app developer. 327 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000 What? 328 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000 It's easier if I show you. 329 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000 Here, come on. 330 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,000 You're gonna think it's dope. Which means "good." 331 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000 Check it out, man. 332 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 Go. 333 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:58,000 A magic rectangle. You make this? 334 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000 No, I didn't invent the iPad. I wish I did, though. 335 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000 But let me ask you this, 336 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000 before people buy something 337 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000 what's something they wish they knew? 338 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000 How long has meat been dead for? 339 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000 Yeah, that. 340 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000 Also, they want to know 341 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,000 whether or not the company they're buying from is ethical. 342 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,000 -They do? -Yes. 343 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000 They do. It's called "conscientious shopping." 344 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000 It's very popular. 345 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000 My app makes it very easy. 346 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000 All you do is, you scan a product. 347 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000 And it tells you whether or not the company is ethical 348 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000 by analyzing its carbon footprint, 349 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000 its labor policies, 350 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,000 and a bunch of other things and it gives you a score. 351 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000 Check it out. 352 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000 91. 353 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,000 These kale chips are gonna be extra delicious 354 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000 because I know how ethical they are. 355 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000 Thanks to Boop Bop. 356 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000 -"Boop Bop"? -Boop Bop, yeah. 357 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000 -It's called "Boop Bop." -Why Boop Bop? 358 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000 Um... 359 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000 You know, it's kinda just like the trend, 360 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000 I guess, these days 361 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000 to give apps, like, silly names. 362 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,000 You know, Venmo, Hulu, Hipmunk and... 363 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000 You know, you might think it's kinda silly. 364 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000 But I've been working on it pretty hard 365 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,000 for five years now, basically. 366 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000 And once I sell this thing, I can finally, you know, 367 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,000 start the next chapter, which is exciting. 368 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,000 You work for five years. How come you no sell? 369 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000 It's just... 370 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000 not ready yet. 371 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000 I'm still finalizing some things. 372 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000 Just really focused on getting it right, you know? 373 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000 Making it perfect. 374 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000 I think once it's ready, though, I'll have 375 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000 a pretty easy time selling it. 376 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,000 I went to school with this guy who works in venture capital. 377 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000 And I'm pretty sure he'd be into it. 378 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000 He said that they wanna hear the pitch as soon as it's done. 379 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000 But I'm still kind of noodling with the logo. 380 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000 I mean, this mustardy one has really been growing on me. 381 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000 I kinda wish it was mustardier, though. 382 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000 Is this your father? 383 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000 No, that's David Bowie. 384 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000 Is this your mother? 385 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000 No, that's also David Bowie. 386 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000 That whole poster's David Bowie. 387 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,000 How come in this whole place you have so many things, 388 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000 but no pictures of family? 389 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000 I have pictures of my family. 390 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000 I just haven't really, 391 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,000 you know, like, framed them and incorporated them in my... 392 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000 design. 393 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000 But I got that stuff right here. 394 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000 [sighs] 395 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000 You kept. 396 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,000 Yeah. I kept. 397 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000 [exhales heavily] 398 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,000 Who is this? 399 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,000 That's... 400 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,000 your son. 401 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,000 It's Mort Greenbaum. 402 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000 "Mort"? 403 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,000 [sighs] 404 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000 Sarah had son. 405 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000 How was his life? 406 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000 Was he success? 407 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:44,000 Yeah. He was a foreman of a brick factory. 408 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,000 A foreman? 409 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,000 Yeah. 410 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,000 Who is this? 411 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000 Uh... 412 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000 That's Mort's son. 413 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,000 David Greenbaum. Your grandson. 414 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000 He was also foreman? 415 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000 He was an accountant. 416 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000 -Accountant. -Yeah. 417 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000 This his wife? 418 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,000 Mm-hmm. 419 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,000 Who is this very shapely young woman here? 420 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,000 That's me. 421 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000 These are your parents. 422 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,000 Where are they? 423 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000 They passed away. 424 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000 I'm very sorry. 425 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000 Murdered or regular? 426 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000 It was a car crash. 427 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000 So, regular. 428 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000 You will tell me everything of their death 429 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,000 so I may bear witness to your grief. 430 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:53,000 How their bodies died, their faces as the life left. 431 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,000 Be very specific. 432 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000 Spare no detail. 433 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000 We will bond over our pain. 434 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000 No detail too small. 435 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000 We don't have to get into that right now. 436 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000 You wanna get outta here? Let's go to Smorgasburg. 437 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000 They have jackfruit nachos that are actually really good. 438 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,000 We will go to cemetery now. 439 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000 Visit Greenbaum family grave, pay our respect to dead. 440 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000 Actually, I'm not sure... 441 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000 I don't think the cemetery's open right now. 442 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000 So we go to cemetery tomorrow. 443 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000 I think it was maybe supposed to rain. 444 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000 So I guess weather permitting. 445 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000 All right. But now we go to shul, 446 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000 we say Mourner's Kaddish, prayer for dead. 447 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:30,000 Must properly honor memory of Sarah, Mort, your parents. 448 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000 Yeah, I'm not... 449 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,000 I'm not sure that's something I want to do right now. 450 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,000 But I would be happy to walk you over there. 451 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000 What is problem? 452 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,000 It's not a problem. 453 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:47,000 I guess I understand why you're a religious person. 454 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000 That makes sense for someone from your era. 455 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,000 But I am not... 456 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000 I'm not very religious. 457 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000 You do not know Mourner's Kaddish? 458 00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,000 [clicks tongue] 459 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000 Not anymore, no. 460 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000 How do you grieve for dead parents 461 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000 if you do not say prayer for dead? 462 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000 I'm doing okay. 463 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000 I do not understand. 464 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,000 You were raised Jew. 465 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:17,000 Yeah. 466 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000 Are you not still Jew? 467 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000 Technically. 468 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000 I also had a Jumanji-themed bar mitzvah. 469 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000 It's not like I was that religious 470 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000 in the first place. 471 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000 Also, like, organized religion is very regressive. 472 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000 [sighs] 473 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,000 Praise Hashem, there is still beautiful Greenbaum plot. 474 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,000 Very special place. Very special. 475 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,000 Tell me, how high is elm tree now? 476 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,000 100 feet? 477 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,000 200 feet? 478 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,000 Yeah. Something like that. Probably. I'm not 100% sure. 479 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000 When last time you come? 480 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,000 I don't know, maybe like five years ago, or somethin'. 481 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000 So been a little while. 482 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000 Wait. 483 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,000 It's this way. 484 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000 This way! 485 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000 Sweet Hashem. 486 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000 You let them put garbage. 487 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,000 And you let them put huge sign block out sun and kill tree! 488 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000 Yeah, it's not on our property. 489 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000 There's nothing we can do about it. 490 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000 Sarah. 491 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000 [Herschel sniffles] 492 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000 You okay? 493 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,000 We will pray. 494 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000 [praying in foreign language] 495 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000 Hey, guys! 496 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000 Sorry, you can't be there. 497 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000 What? 498 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000 We're putting up a billboard! 499 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000 [Herschel] What it say? 500 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000 It's an ad for vanilla-flavored vodka. 501 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000 Vanilla-flavored... 502 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000 ...vodka? 503 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000 Cossacks. 504 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,000 Cossack! 505 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000 Hershel, what are you doin', man? 506 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,000 You will take down vanilla vodka... 507 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000 or I will do violence. 508 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,000 What? 509 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:10,000 You will take down vanilla vodka... 510 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000 or I will do violence. 511 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000 Look, buddy, I don't have time for-- 512 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000 Oh, shit. No! 513 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000 [grunting] 514 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000 -Stop! -Yes! 515 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000 Stop! 516 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000 Come on! Come on! 517 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000 Ben! Ben! 518 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000 Come on! 519 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000 You can never stop the Greenbaums! 520 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000 You will never stop the Greenbaums! 521 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,000 [door buzzes] 522 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,000 Your payment's been processed. You're free to go. 523 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000 Fantastic. 524 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 We must go back to grave. 525 00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000 We will cut down Cossack billboard. 526 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,000 Dude, if we do that, 527 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000 we're gonna go back to jail. So, no. 528 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000 Okay. We must purchase billboard from Cossack, 529 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000 which I do not like, 530 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000 and then we cut down billboard. 531 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000 First off, the Cossacks don't own it. 532 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000 Second off, it's owned by some giant billboard company. 533 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000 It costs $200,000. 534 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,000 Then we buy from giant company and then we cut down billboard. 535 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,000 Why are you being so difficult about this? 536 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,000 I can't afford it! 537 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000 You have moneys? Your parents leave you moneys? 538 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000 I don't have $200,000. 539 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000 You have all this, so you have moneys. 540 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000 How much moneys you have? 541 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 I have some money left, but I don't have a lot left. 542 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000 And I have a lot less now that I had to bail us 543 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000 out of jail, Herschel. 544 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,000 It's not my fault! 545 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000 What is your fault is that you started a fight with 546 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000 some construction workers! 547 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,000 Someone has to defend honor of family. Not you. 548 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000 And I'd be defending the honor of our family more 549 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000 if I wasn't busy trying to create a company 550 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000 and a product, man! 551 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,000 You're busy? Oh, yes. Not selling Boop Bops. 552 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 You don't understand how much pressure there is 553 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 on this stuff. Okay? 554 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,000 I'm trying to make it perfect. 555 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000 Blue. Green. Red. Who cares? 556 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000 Pick a color! 557 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000 Companies are made or broken by the color of their logo! 558 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000 Let me tell you something. 559 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000 In Schlupsk, we have saying. 560 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000 Oh, good. Yeah, what is it? I'm sure this has aged well. 561 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000 If man says he is going to throw punch, 562 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000 but he does not throw punch, 563 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000 it is because this man secretly has polio arm. 564 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000 This is you. 565 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000 You have polio arm. 566 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000 This your polio arm. 567 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000 Throw your punch! 568 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000 Do something, Ben! 569 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,000 Don't just sit there, looking at Boop Bops. 570 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000 Blue, yellow, green! Who cares? 571 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,000 Throw your punch! 572 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,000 Okay. Fine! You know what? Fine! Fine! 573 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,000 -Good. Good. Do it. -I'll email the guy. 574 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000 No choice anyway. I have no money. 575 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,000 It's not ready. Logo's not right. 576 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,000 Who cares about the stupid logo? 577 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,000 [message alert chimes] 578 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000 You know they cured polio, right? 579 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000 -They did? -Yes, they did. 580 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,000 A long time ago. A guy named Jonas Salk. 581 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,000 Was he Jew? 582 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,000 He was. Yes. 583 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000 -He was Jewish? -Yes. 584 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000 Yes! Knew it. 585 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,000 Oh, yeah, big win. 586 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,000 I would look at polio people and think, 587 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000 "They could fix this." 588 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000 You thought that? 589 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,000 This problem not unfixable problem. 590 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000 You put a Jew on this, he will fix this. 591 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000 Very prophetic of you, Herschel. 592 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,000 I was right. Very good. 593 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,000 [message alert chimes] 594 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000 He's texting back. 595 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000 He says my idea's "straight fire." 596 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,000 That's a good thing. 597 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,000 He wants me to come in today and pitch my idea in person. 598 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,000 He wants your Boop Bops. 599 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,000 -This is a big deal, Herschel. -Yes. 600 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,000 He wants my Boop Bops. 601 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,000 Ben, what's up? 602 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000 Hey! How's it going, man? 603 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,000 We're not gonna invest. 604 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,000 -What? -Yeah. Sorry, man. 605 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,000 What's the problem? 606 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,000 Before you came in, we googled your name 607 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000 and the first thing that comes up is your arrest. 608 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,000 Look, it's just bad optics. 609 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,000 I mean, the whole app is about ethics, 610 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000 and the founder is a violent criminal. 611 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000 Like, if you Boop Bopped Boop Bop, 612 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000 you'd get a really low Boop Bop score. 613 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000 Is there anything we can do? 614 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000 Can we spin this or something like that? 615 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000 Oh, no. Definitely not. 616 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,000 No one's gonna touch this, man. This is... 617 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000 This idea is dead. 618 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000 [sighs] 619 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000 Look, consider this an opportunity. 620 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,000 I mean, there's tons of other ideas. 621 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000 -How long did it take to come up with this? 622 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000 -Five years. 623 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000 Five years. That's-- 624 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,000 Long time. 625 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,000 Yeah, that's a while. 626 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000 Sorry to disappoint you, I guess. 627 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000 Maybe you can make an app where it doesn't matter 628 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000 if the founder's a bad person. 629 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000 Like a social media thing. 630 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,000 Hey. I don't know if you want my advice, man, 631 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000 but it's never too late to do things completely differently. 632 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000 You know? 633 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,000 -Yeah. -Yeah. 634 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000 Take care, man. 635 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000 Call me if you got anything new. 636 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,000 [door opening] 637 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000 Did you get moneys? 638 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000 No. I didn't get moneys. 639 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,000 And I'm afraid that I might never get moneys 640 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:06,000 for my business that is based on ethics 641 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000 now that I have a criminal record for assault 642 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000 because of you! 643 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000 I was worried no one would want your Boop Bops 644 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000 because is terrible idea. So... 645 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,000 I have other idea. 646 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,000 We start pickle business. 647 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000 Is good business. Jewish business. 648 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000 I have knowledge of pickling. 649 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,000 I was myself a pickle. 650 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000 That's a very stupid idea, Herschel. 651 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,000 It will work. 652 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,000 We will start pickle business. 653 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,000 We will become success. 654 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,000 You will finally make dead parents proud. 655 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000 Don't you talk about my parents. 656 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,000 You never talk about my parents! 657 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000 You don't know anything about them! 658 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000 You never met them! 659 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000 'Cause you were too busy getting pickle-brined 660 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000 for 100 years! 661 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,000 It's your fault, Herschel. 662 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000 You got us arrested. 663 00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:00,000 You ruined my business that I spent years on! 664 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,000 It's a good thing Sarah's not around anymore. 665 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,000 'Cause if she was, she would be ashamed of you. 666 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000 [dramatic music playing] 667 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,000 You hear this vow. 668 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000 I will create pickle empire. 669 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,000 I will make $200,000. 670 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000 I will buy back Cossack land. 671 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,000 And I will cut down billboard. 672 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:30,000 I will prove you stupid. 673 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000 Because you are my enemy. 674 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,000 You dishonor Greenbaum name. 675 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,000 We are no longer family. 676 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,000 [Ben] Good luck with that. 677 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000 You don't know jack shit about shit, man. 678 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000 You can't even read from what I can tell. 679 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000 You're gonna start a pickle empire? 680 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,000 You can't even survive out there without my help! 681 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,000 Do not need help from anybody. 682 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:55,000 I will prove you stupid with no help from anybody ever! 683 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 I would like to purchase. How much? 684 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000 Looks like these are 90 cents apiece. 685 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000 Terribly sorry, little boy. It sounds to me 686 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000 like you are saying these cucumbers 687 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000 are 90 cents apiece. 688 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000 I am. 689 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,000 Cucumber. 690 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,000 And salt. 691 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000 Yes! 692 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000 [upbeat music playing] 693 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,000 [thunder rumbling] 694 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,000 Yes! 695 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,000 [horn honking] 696 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,000 [man] Oh, my God. Kevin, look. 697 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000 Artisanal pickles. 698 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000 Well, he's not on Yelp. 699 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:27,000 Sir. How local is your produce? 700 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000 I make pickle here in Brooklyn. 701 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000 And are they all-natural? 702 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,000 Is pickle. 703 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000 But do you add any chemicals like, 704 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,000 you know, benzoates or preservatives? 705 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,000 I do not even know these words. 706 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000 Oh, I like your style. 707 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000 Ooh, let's see. 708 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,000 Wow! Ooh. 709 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000 Just hits me in my throat. 710 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,000 Very pungent. 711 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,000 Let me smell it. 712 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000 Oh! Yeah, that burns. 713 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000 You can feel the burn. 714 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,000 I can, like, smell it in my eye. 715 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000 Feel the sting. 716 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000 Give it to me again. Let me smell it. 717 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000 Mm, yeah, that's straight from the devil. 718 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000 Satanic. Oh, it stinks. 719 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000 You know what, it would go so good 720 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000 with the kelp ceviche. 721 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,000 Oh, my God, that's right. How much do we owe you? 722 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000 You want to buy? 723 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000 Of course. 724 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,000 Is four dollar for pickle. 725 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000 Three dollar less than big store 726 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000 and I include the scum. 727 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000 -Okay. Sure. -Okay! Yeah, scum. 728 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000 -Here you go. -That's great. 729 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,000 Scum it is. 730 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000 You no haggle. 731 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000 Haggle? No, I mean, it seems like four dollars 732 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000 is appropriate for one pickle. 733 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000 Yeah, unless you got a coupon. 734 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,000 Ew! 735 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000 Also, you bring back jar when you finish. 736 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000 -He reclaims his jars. He reclaims his jars. 737 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000 -Wow. 738 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000 There is nothing wrong with used jar. 739 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000 They same after many, many use. 740 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000 Amen to that! 741 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,000 -Amen. -Amen. 742 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000 You are religious. 743 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:53,000 Amen! Well, thank you so much. Have a good day. 744 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000 Don't forget bring back jar. 745 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000 Or I will find you, and I will do 746 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000 terrible violence. 747 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000 You know what? You should do a post on him. 748 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000 Oh. Yeah. How could I not? 749 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,000 ["Reflections of My Life" playing] 750 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:21,000 ♪ The changing of sunlight ♪ 751 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000 ♪ To moonlight ♪ 752 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:29,000 ♪ Reflections of my life ♪ 753 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:34,000 ♪ Oh, how they fill my eyes ♪ 754 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,000 ♪ The greetings of people ♪ 755 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,000 ♪ In trouble ♪ 756 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,000 ♪ Reflections of my life ♪ 757 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:55,000 ♪ Oh, how they fill my eyes ♪ 758 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,000 ♪ Oh, my sorrows ♪ 759 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:08,000 ♪ Sad tomorrows ♪ 760 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:13,000 ♪ Take me back to my own home ♪ 761 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,000 [woman] Hey, man, how's it going? 762 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000 Yeah, not fantastic. 763 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000 I found out I gotta basically throw away 764 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000 the app I was working on, 765 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000 and start again from scratch. 766 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000 -Bummer. -Yeah. Big bummer. 767 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,000 But I'll think of something. 768 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000 [Herschel] It's about the smell. 769 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000 You know is good. 770 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,000 Pickles should smell like vomit. 771 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000 Excuse me, what is that? 772 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000 It's a blog post about that old-timey pickle guy 773 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000 over on Bedford. 774 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000 Oh, yeah. I heard about that guy. 775 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000 It's crazy, right? Look, here, check it out. 776 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000 Herschel's jars have no label, 777 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000 and his product doesn't even have a name. 778 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000 But he just might be the most authentic 779 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,000 artisanal pickler in all of Williamsburg. 780 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000 And his accent is cute AF. 781 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,000 Hello. 782 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000 Aww! Oh, my God! 783 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000 So he uses, like, repurposed pickle jars, 784 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,000 cucumbers, salt and rainwater, and that's it. 785 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,000 Time to invest right now, right? 786 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,000 Is this a popular blog? 787 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,000 This video's got like a million views, 788 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000 so people are loving this pickle guy. 789 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000 Maybe we should sell those here. 790 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,000 Picklebacks, pickle shots. That's cool, right? 791 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,000 [man] Looks cool. 792 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,000 -[woman] Aw, I love his hat. -[man] I know. 793 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,000 Herschel, your pickles are the hottest thing in Brooklyn. 794 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:43,000 How does it feel to be such a runaway success? 795 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,000 Ben Greenbaum, you see me now on your television box. 796 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:51,000 Well, I become huge success. 797 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000 Soon I buy back Cossack billboard 798 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000 and I prove you are stupid. 799 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,000 You are stupidest person I ever seen in my life. 800 00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,000 Wow, that Ben guy really sounds stupid. 801 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000 ...genius compared to you. 802 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000 [clears throat] Okay. Not sure who Ben is. 803 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000 Herschel, I understand your pickles are made 804 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000 with rainwater. 805 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000 -Rainwater, yes. -Yes. 806 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,000 Rainwater from gutters. 807 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,000 Nutrients from roof come off into jar. 808 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,000 [reporter] There's bird droppings in there? 809 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000 [Herschel] All sorts of animal parts in here. 810 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,000 Little essence of animal feet. 811 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,000 Could you pull over, please? 812 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000 Hello. Health Department? 813 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,000 I'd like to file a complaint. 814 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000 -There you go. You take pickle. 815 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000 -Gratitude. 816 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000 Are you Herschel Greenbaum? 817 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000 Yes, 14 dollar for pickle. 818 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000 Ten dollar extra if you want telephone photograph 819 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000 with the Herschel. 820 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,000 Get in line. 821 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:53,000 Listen, you're gonna have to shut this down immediately. 822 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,000 Why shut down? 823 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,000 Because you've got dozens of flagrant health violations. 824 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,000 You can't just take food out of a garbage can 825 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,000 and sell it to people. 826 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:04,000 -That's insane. -But is all-natural. Is vegan. 827 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000 No benzoate. No preservative. 828 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000 You're lucky no one has died. 829 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:13,000 You owe $12,000 in taxes, fees and fines. 830 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,000 Till then, you are shut down. 831 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,000 [cellphone buzzing] 832 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,000 [woman] Ew. Guys. 833 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:33,000 Eighty-six the pickles. They're made out of garbage. 834 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,000 -[scoffs] -[indistinct chatter] 835 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,000 Nope. 836 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,000 [woman] Oh, my God. 837 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,000 -CHRISTIAN: Herschel, we heard the terrible news. 838 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,000 -KEVIN: Yeah, what happened? 839 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000 I was shut down by evil woman. 840 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,000 They tell me I have to "bring things up to code." 841 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,000 I do not know how to do this all by myself. 842 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000 -You could scale up the business, right? 843 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000 -True. 844 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000 -Maybe hire some workers. -That's good. 845 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000 Cannot afford workers. 846 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000 You could get interns! 847 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,000 [Christian gasps] Yes. 848 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000 "Interns"? 849 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,000 Yeah, they're unpaid workers. 850 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000 Unpaid workers. 851 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:27,000 Right. You compensate them in education and experience. 852 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,000 Like slave? 853 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,000 No, no, no. That's not what I mean. 854 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,000 That's a little bit of an oversimplification. 855 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,000 Now, listen, Herschel. You run a small, 856 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,000 ethically conscious... 857 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,000 Next. 858 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,000 Mr. Greenbaum, I would just like to thank you in advance 859 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,000 for considering me for this internship. 860 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:55,000 My name is Clara. I am a rising senior at NYU. 861 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000 I have a 4.2 GPA. I am president 862 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000 of the Asian Cinema Club-- 863 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000 Show me your teeth. 864 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,000 Yes. 865 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000 Herschel is back! 866 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000 Gloves, here you go. Everyone needs gloves. 867 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000 That's the regulation. 868 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,000 Like the beard tucked in. That's important! 869 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,000 All right. Let's get this up to code, people. 870 00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000 Just pickling. No talking. 871 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,000 No! 872 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,000 No, no, no! 873 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:23,000 Good pickle. Bad pickle. [grunts] 874 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,000 CLARA: Almost there. Keep it up! 875 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,000 [Herschel] All right! 876 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000 This is what we're reaching for, everybody. 877 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,000 This is the dream. 878 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000 This is the goal. 879 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,000 Perfect jar of pickle. 880 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,000 Go. 881 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,000 -[man] Hey! -[woman] Hey there! 882 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:12,000 [indistinct chatter] 883 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,000 [dramatic music playing] 884 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,000 [upbeat music playing] 885 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,000 Yes! 886 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,000 Yes, yes, yeah! 887 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,000 [crunching] 888 00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,000 Thank you. 889 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,000 Yeah! 890 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000 Move it, move it! 891 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,000 Hurry! Hurry up! 892 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000 It says your deed on the lot is paid in full. 893 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,000 Cut it down. 894 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,000 Herschel win! Yeah! 895 00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,000 [scoffs] 896 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,000 [sighs] 897 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,000 [clicks] 898 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,000 This is the beginning. Right? You heard it here first, folks. 899 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,000 Benjamin Greenbaum is gonna change the world. 900 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,000 That's what you're gonna do. 901 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,000 Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it. 902 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,000 We know it. We know it. 903 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000 Oh, yeah. Bill Gates, move over. 904 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000 -Move over, Bill Gates. -Watch out, Bill. 905 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000 Ben Greenbaum's got your number. 906 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,000 [Ben] I appreciate it. Thank you, guys. 907 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,000 [Susan] And we know you're gonna do such great things. 908 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000 -[David] Great things. -And speaking of... 909 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,000 Guys. 910 00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:57,000 -It's just a little... -A little something. 911 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,000 Oh, my God. 912 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000 [David] It's an investment. An investment 913 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000 in your new company. 914 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000 -We wanted to get in on the ground floor. 915 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000 -Yes, absolutely. Bottom. 916 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,000 My company doesn't even have a name yet, so I think 917 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,000 it's a little premature. 918 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,000 Come on! You'll think of something. 919 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,000 [David] You could just call it "Mom and Dad." 920 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,000 [Susan] You're so creative, inventive. 921 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,000 "Mom and Dad." I like that-- 922 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,000 [banging] 923 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,000 I have done it. 924 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:41,000 I have restored honor to family and conquered the Cossacks. 925 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,000 Congrats. 926 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,000 Now I have some free time on my hands, 927 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000 so I have good news. 928 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,000 Herschel is back. 929 00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,000 I have decided I would come back 930 00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,000 to be with you. 931 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000 Not for me. I am fine. Very stable. 932 00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000 Not ups and downs. Herschel feel very happy 933 00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000 all the time. 934 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000 Oh, yeah? 935 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,000 But for Ben, I figure maybe I come back and I help you. 936 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:12,000 You have no wife, no children, no friends, and now no job. 937 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,000 You need help! 938 00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,000 Herschel will help. Do not worry. 939 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,000 Go away, Herschel. I don't want you here. 940 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,000 Okay? 941 00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,000 Just please leave my apartment. 942 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000 But I am only family you have left. 943 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,000 You need Herschel. 944 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,000 Without Herschel, you'll be all alone. 945 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000 No one to fix broken life. 946 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000 My life isn't broken, Herschel. 947 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,000 I'm fine. I'm completely happy. 948 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:42,000 The only problem I have right now, honestly, is you. 949 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,000 Just please go! 950 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,000 If you do not realize you need Herschel, 951 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000 you are stupider than Polish person. 952 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000 And they are the stupidest. 953 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000 How's your Twitter presence these days, Herschel? 954 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,000 What is Twitter? 955 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,000 "What is Twitter?" You don't know what Twitter is? 956 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000 Big, powerful pickle magnate like you doesn't know 957 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000 what Twitter is? 958 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,000 I might know what it is by other word. 959 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,000 Well, maybe tell me what it is. Clarify. 960 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,000 Twitter, you know, it's a marketplace of ideas 961 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000 where the world's best and brightest come 962 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000 to share their opinions 963 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,000 in a very measured and reasonable manner. Twitter. 964 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000 I will do Twitter. 965 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000 You probably think you can but it's very complicated. 966 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000 I don't think you'll get it. 967 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,000 -I can do anything. -I don't think you can. 968 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,000 -Can you do Twitter? -Oh, I can do Twitter. 969 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,000 If you can do Twitter, I can do Twitter. 970 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,000 In order to do Twitter really well, 971 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,000 you gotta be raw and uncensored 972 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000 and share your completely unfettered opinions. 973 00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,000 I don't think you'll be good at that. 974 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,000 -I will do Twitter! -Really? I don't know. 975 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,000 You watch me, Ben! I will do Twitter. 976 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000 I will do Twitter better than anyone has ever 977 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000 done Twitter. 978 00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,000 Well, I'll believe it when I see it, Herschel. 979 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,000 You will see it. And you will believe it. 980 00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,000 Well, have at it, my friend! 981 00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,000 Watch. 982 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,000 [door closes] 983 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,000 [Clara] Sir, some people hire a publicity team to help. 984 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,000 No help. 985 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,000 I will be Twitter and nothing can stop me now. 986 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000 Now read me back my dictation. 987 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,000 Okay. 988 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,000 "Wheelchair people, 989 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000 -my pickles are so good... -Yes. 990 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,000 ...it will make you forget Hashem has cursed you." 991 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000 Hashem has cursed their legs but not their mouths. 992 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000 They can eat pickle. 993 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,000 -Is good. -Okay. 994 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000 -Send to Twitter. -Sending. 995 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,000 "We sell to all peoples 996 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:36,000 even woman, unless they are menses, 997 00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,000 in which case, stay in tent." 998 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,000 Stay in tent. 999 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,000 Next Twitter. 1000 00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,000 -"Attention, sodomites." -Yes. 1001 00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,000 "Hashem will smite you for your sin! 1002 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:49,000 You will burn in flames for your crimes against God. 1003 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000 Buy my pickles." 1004 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,000 Perfect to send. 1005 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,000 Very good. 1006 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,000 Yep. 1007 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,000 [indistinct chatter] 1008 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:17,000 Oh, lots of customers today. 1009 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,000 Those are not customers. Those are protesters. 1010 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000 -[woman 1] You're disgusting, man! 1011 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000 -[woman 2] How dare you? 1012 00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,000 "Protesters"? 1013 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,000 [man] Down with Herschel! 1014 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,000 [all] Down with Herschel! 1015 00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,000 Down with Herschel! 1016 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:30,000 Down with Herschel! 1017 00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,000 Sir, as grateful as I am to you 1018 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,000 for this educational opportunity, 1019 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,000 I am afraid that I can no longer 1020 00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,000 continue this endeavor in good conscience. 1021 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,000 Thank you for the college credit. 1022 00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,000 Clara! 1023 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,000 [indistinct shouting] 1024 00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,000 Down with Herschel! Down with Herschel! 1025 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,000 You traitor! 1026 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,000 After everything I do for you! 1027 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,000 [mouthing] I'm sorry. 1028 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,000 Down with Herschel! 1029 00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,000 Go away! Go away! 1030 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:03,000 [narrator] Who is Herschel Greenbaum? 1031 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,000 And what is he selling? 1032 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000 Is it pickles? 1033 00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,000 Or is it hate? 1034 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,000 Greenbaum's tweets are so outrageous, 1035 00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,000 they seem almost designed to cause offense. 1036 00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:15,000 You're insane! 1037 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:19,000 [narrator] He's drawing protests and boycotts. 1038 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,000 But maybe that's the point. 1039 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000 Some view him as a hateful bigot 1040 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000 with rage in his heart. 1041 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000 Others see him as a defender of free speech, 1042 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000 a clever provocateur testing the limits 1043 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000 of the First Amendment. 1044 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000 [woman] Look, I get it. He's saying 1045 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000 some controversial things 1046 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,000 but he's religious, so I believe him. 1047 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,000 He's what we need right now. 1048 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000 [man] Everybody in the mainstream media's like, 1049 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,000 "Herschel's this terrible person." 1050 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000 I think they got it all wrong. 1051 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000 He's playing chess. Everybody else 1052 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000 is playing checkers. 1053 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000 [narrator] Tonight, we'll find out who 1054 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000 Herschel Greenbaum really is 1055 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,000 from the man himself, Herschel Greenbaum. 1056 00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000 Tell me, Herschel. How do you respond 1057 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,000 to those who have called your belief system abhorrent? 1058 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,000 I would tell these people 1059 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:08,000 I do not understand what this word means. 1060 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:12,000 So, what you're saying is when it comes to online speech 1061 00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,000 you don't understand restrictions. 1062 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000 I am saying I do not understand 1063 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000 what is happening. 1064 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,000 I do not understand... 1065 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,000 what is happening... 1066 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000 with this whole thing. 1067 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,000 What is happening 1068 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,000 with this whole thing? 1069 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:35,000 With our culture, our country, our way of life? 1070 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,000 This is a question Herschel Greenbaum 1071 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:40,000 for better or worse, is determined to ask. 1072 00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,000 What is happening? 1073 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000 What is happening right now? 1074 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000 I really wish somebody would tell me 1075 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000 what is happening. 1076 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000 Indeed. 1077 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,000 Herschel, you have captivated the imagination, 1078 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:57,000 the hearts and minds of the entire world 1079 00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:00,000 with your passion and your truth. 1080 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:04,000 Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle. 1081 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000 [host] We will. 1082 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,000 [cheering and applause] 1083 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,000 Okay, be that as it may 1084 00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:37,000 your stance on gender roles is so regressive 1085 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,000 that it would effectively limit women to a life of servitude. 1086 00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,000 Exactly, servitude. Woman like to serve. 1087 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:48,000 She has little hands for serving things to people 1088 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,000 in very nice, graceful way. 1089 00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:53,000 Women have nipples to serve milk to people. 1090 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:57,000 Woman have hole in lower body to produce babies. 1091 00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,000 In other words, serve babies out of hole in body. 1092 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,000 Yeah. Yeah! 1093 00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,000 Woman like serve! Yes! 1094 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,000 Incredibly offensive. 1095 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,000 -Someone is menses. -No. 1096 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:09,000 [crowd laughing] 1097 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,000 That debate is certainly settled. 1098 00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,000 Let's throw it to the audience for questions. 1099 00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,000 You, sir. 1100 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000 Herschel, wow. It's amazing to talk to you. 1101 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000 What an honor. 1102 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,000 Honor to be here. 1103 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,000 I was wondering how you felt about the taxes 1104 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,000 that are crushing small businesses. 1105 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000 I'm glad you ask. 1106 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000 You tax Herschel, Herschel will do 1107 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000 violence to you. 1108 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,000 Yes, terrible violence! 1109 00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,000 [all cheering] 1110 00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,000 Miss. 1111 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,000 Herschel, have you considered running for office? 1112 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,000 I would like office. 1113 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,000 [all cheering] 1114 00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,000 I would like big office. 1115 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:57,000 I would like biggest office in America! 1116 00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,000 Huge office! 1117 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:04,000 Oh, how about you? In the back. 1118 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:08,000 Yes, the shapely young woman in the back row. Cannot see. 1119 01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,000 [man] Yes, thank you. Hello. Thank you. 1120 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,000 I was wondering what your thoughts are 1121 01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:17,000 on Christian prayer in public schools. 1122 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,000 Yes, thank you. 1123 01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:23,000 Oh, simple question. Easy to answer. 1124 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,000 I don't think I'm saying anything controversial 1125 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:29,000 when I say everybody know Jesus Christ mother 1126 01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,000 was prostitute. 1127 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000 -[all gasp] -And she invent story 1128 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000 of Christianity 1129 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,000 to cover up fact that she prostitute. 1130 01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,000 So if you believe in Jesus, 1131 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,000 you are stupid idiot. 1132 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:42,000 You suck, Herschel! I'm gonna get you! 1133 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,000 [siren wailing] 1134 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,000 [door opening] 1135 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000 [female reporter] We interrupt your 1136 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000 regularly scheduled program 1137 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,000 to bring you this special report. 1138 01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:05,000 Herschel Greenbaum the time-traveling immigrant 1139 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,000 who captured America's hearts and minds 1140 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,000 has fallen hard from grace. 1141 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,000 The public outcry against his bigotry 1142 01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,000 is spreading throughout the country. 1143 01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:17,000 He's been condemned by leaders on the left and right. 1144 01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,000 And that's not all. 1145 01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:21,000 Authorities are apparently calling for his deportation. 1146 01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,000 Due to an outdated filing system 1147 01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,000 at the Ellis Island storage facility, 1148 01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,000 his paperwork cannot be located. 1149 01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,000 Therefore, his citizenship has been revoked. 1150 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:34,000 If you have information about the whereabouts 1151 01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:37,000 of the fugitive illegal alien Herschel Greenbaum, 1152 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,000 please call the tip hotline below. 1153 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:42,000 [host on TV] I just feel bad for this guy at this point. 1154 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,000 Look, I don't see how Herschel 1155 01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,000 can come back from this one, folks. 1156 01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000 Everyone has deserted him. He's alone in the world. 1157 01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000 His life is in ruins. 1158 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000 And the only person he has to blame for all of it, 1159 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000 I'm sorry, 1160 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,000 is Herschel Greenbaum. 1161 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:54,000 [glass breaking] 1162 01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,000 The hell? 1163 01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,000 Dude. 1164 01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,000 Dude! 1165 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,000 Stop! 1166 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,000 Herschel, what the hell, man? What are you doing? 1167 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,000 These Christians, they try to kill me. 1168 01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,000 They're not trying to kill you, Herschel. 1169 01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000 They just wanna send you back to Schlupsk. 1170 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:13,000 Is worse! I never go back to Schlupsk. 1171 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,000 Everything me and Sarah sacrificed 1172 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:18,000 to come here is for nothing. 1173 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,000 Well, I don't know what to tell you, man. 1174 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,000 I can't do anything for you. 1175 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,000 There is something. 1176 01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,000 You must smuggle Herschel away from American authorities. 1177 01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,000 What? 1178 01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:30,000 I have accepted I have new fate. 1179 01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,000 I will move to Canada, 1180 01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,000 become icicle man. 1181 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,000 I will trade beaver for fire. 1182 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000 It's not ideal. But this is what must happen. 1183 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,000 I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you 1184 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:43,000 and that everyone's turned on you 1185 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,000 because you've said truly despicable things. 1186 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:52,000 But I'm not gonna risk getting arrested again 1187 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:52,000 to help you. 1188 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,000 Is not help. 1189 01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,000 Is trade. 1190 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,000 "Trade"? 1191 01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,000 I know you do not like Herschel. 1192 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,000 I know you think your life better 1193 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,000 before Herschel. 1194 01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:09,000 You take me to Canada, 1195 01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,000 you never have to see me again. 1196 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:16,000 All right. 1197 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,000 Ten miles to Canada, no roads, no checkpoints. 1198 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,000 Just walk from here. 1199 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,000 This will work. 1200 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:38,000 [mysterious music playing] 1201 01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,000 [both grunting] 1202 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:09,000 -[Ben grunts] -[thuds] 1203 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,000 [groans] 1204 01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,000 Very good. 1205 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:40,000 [shivering] 1206 01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,000 We stay warm together. 1207 01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,000 Thank you. 1208 01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,000 [Ben] There's the border. 1209 01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,000 We made it. 1210 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,000 [vehicle approaching] 1211 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,000 Oh, shit. Someone's coming. Here. 1212 01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,000 Come on. Here, come on, come on. 1213 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,000 This way, this way. 1214 01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,000 [officer] Stop. Stop! 1215 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:40,000 [grunts] 1216 01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,000 [indistinct chatter] 1217 01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,000 Looks like they're just taking a break or something. 1218 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,000 So we'll just chill here till they're gone. 1219 01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,000 You do not mind? 1220 01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,000 No, I don't mind. 1221 01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,000 -Is there a lot of woods in Schlupsk? 1222 01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,000 -Forest. 1223 01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,000 -What's the difference? -Wolves. 1224 01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,000 Oh, wow. 1225 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:10,000 Sarah loved to chase wolf. 1226 01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,000 She would club them with stick, 1227 01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,000 hit them with rock, kill them. 1228 01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:16,000 Very good time. 1229 01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,000 She sounds pretty amazing. 1230 01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:20,000 I wish I could have met her. 1231 01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:23,000 Although, maybe it's for the best that I didn't. 1232 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,000 Why you say this? 1233 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,000 I'm probably not, like, 1234 01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,000 the best-case scenario for what the family's become. 1235 01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:33,000 She probably wouldn't be too psyched to, 1236 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:35,000 you know, to see who I am. 1237 01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,000 Not so sure. 1238 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:45,000 Perhaps once I live in Canada, 1239 01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,000 you come to visit Herschel. 1240 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,000 You know, maybe-- 1241 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000 -Maybe you don't have to go to Canada. 1242 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000 -What do you mean? 1243 01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,000 I mean, now that I think about it, 1244 01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:05,000 you know, maybe we just haven't exhausted all of our options. 1245 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000 You don't have to go hide in Canada for the rest 1246 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000 of your life. 1247 01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,000 We'll fix this, and in the meantime, 1248 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,000 you can stay with me. We'll figure it out. 1249 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,000 You do not want this. 1250 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,000 What do you mean? 1251 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,000 You try to get rid of Herschel. 1252 01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:20,000 Take Herschel to middle of wilderness 1253 01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:21,000 to take Herschel to Canada. 1254 01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,000 You hate Herschel. 1255 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:34,000 I'm just gonna tell you this, man. 1256 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,000 I'm the one who called the Health Department on you. 1257 01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,000 I got you shut down. That was me. 1258 01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,000 And that's not all I did. 1259 01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,000 I told you to go on Twitter, 1260 01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:45,000 knowing you would say despicable things. 1261 01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,000 You always do. 1262 01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,000 And I did that to sabotage your business. 1263 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,000 Is this it? 1264 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:53,000 No. After the Twitter thing didn't destroy you, 1265 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,000 I attended the debate you were having. 1266 01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,000 I went to the back row and I disguised my voice 1267 01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:01,000 and I asked the question about Christian prayer in school. 1268 01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:04,000 I knew exactly what you were gonna say. 1269 01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:06,000 I'm so sorry, Herschel. 1270 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000 It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it. 1271 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,000 I caused this whole thing to happen. Do you forgive me? 1272 01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,000 [grunts] 1273 01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:15,000 -Wait. -You are traitor 1274 01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:15,000 to your family! 1275 01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,000 You are not Jew! 1276 01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:31,000 Hey! Hey, you! Stop right there! 1277 01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:32,000 232, requesting backup. 1278 01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,000 [thrilling music playing] 1279 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,000 [officer] Where'd he go? 1280 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,000 I think it's that pickle guy from the news. 1281 01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,000 Come on. 1282 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,000 Herschel Greenbaum! 1283 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,000 We know you're out there. 1284 01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,000 [panting] 1285 01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:04,000 [whirring] 1286 01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,000 Where is this guy? 1287 01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:11,000 Hello there, dudes. 1288 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,000 Who are you? 1289 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,000 I am Ben Greenbaum. 1290 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,000 Where's Herschel Greenbaum? 1291 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,000 Herschel is back there. 1292 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:20,000 You better get him before he escapes. 1293 01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,000 I'm on it. 1294 01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,000 -All right. You're free to go. -Found him! 1295 01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,000 Thanks. 1296 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,000 All right, get up. 1297 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,000 All right, we got him. 1298 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,000 We got a positive ID on Herschel Greenbaum. 1299 01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000 -You have the right to remain silent. 1300 01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000 -[Ben] What? 1301 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000 Anything you say can and will be used against you 1302 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000 in a court of law. 1303 01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,000 [reporter] And now, breaking news. 1304 01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000 This is Susan O'Malley standing inside the Manhattan Federal 1305 01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000 Courthouse 1306 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:50,000 for what has been labeled one of the most bizarre trials 1307 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:50,000 of the century. 1308 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,000 Herschel Greenbaum has been deemed 1309 01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,000 a persona non grata on American soil. 1310 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,000 His deportation trial got off to a strange start 1311 01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:01,000 as his lawyer put forth a truly unexpected defense, 1312 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,000 that Herschel Greenbaum was not, 1313 01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:06,000 in fact, actually Herschel Greenbaum. 1314 01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:09,000 This is Ben Greenbaum. 1315 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,000 This is Herschel 1316 01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:14,000 who switched places with him because as you can see 1317 01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:18,000 Herschel Greenbaum has a beard 1318 01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,000 whereas my client, Ben, has no beard. 1319 01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:23,000 I object, Your Honor. 1320 01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,000 What precedent are we setting here? 1321 01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:28,000 That the defendant isn't actually the defendant? 1322 01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:32,000 Well, then, maybe Charles Manson 1323 01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:36,000 wasn't actually Charles Manson. 1324 01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,000 Let me try something really fast. 1325 01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,000 So I'm me, I'm me, the guy you know. 1326 01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,000 Is this a new guy? 1327 01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:48,000 With that, I move to dismiss the defense's entire case. 1328 01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,000 Granted. 1329 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,000 Court adjourned. 1330 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:54,000 [reporter] Herschel was quickly put on a ship 1331 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:54,000 back to Eastern Europe 1332 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,000 returning to his home country of Schlupsk. 1333 01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:00,000 And with that, America can finally rest easy. 1334 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:03,000 The abomination known as Herschel Greenbaum 1335 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:07,000 will never wreak havoc on our great land ever again. 1336 01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,000 Back to you, Jim. 1337 01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,000 [somber music playing] 1338 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,000 Oh, Sarah. 1339 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,000 "Boop. Bop." 1340 01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,000 [somber music playing] 1341 01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:18,000 [man shouting indistinctly] 1342 01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,000 Excuse me, do you speak English? 1343 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,000 No? 1344 01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,000 Excuse me. Hi. 1345 01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:35,000 Do you guys speak English? No? No? 1346 01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:38,000 Thank you. Thank you. 1347 01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:43,000 Hello. 1348 01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:45,000 Excuse me? 1349 01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,000 Excuse me, hi. 1350 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,000 I need help. I'm very cold. 1351 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,000 Do you know where maybe they'll help me? 1352 01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,000 Do you know where I could go for some help? 1353 01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,000 Thank you. 1354 01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,000 [speaking indistinctly] 1355 01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,000 [speaking foreign language] 1356 01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,000 I only speak English. I'm sorry. 1357 01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:55,000 [in English] You are Jew? 1358 01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,000 Yeah. 1359 01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:03,000 We are need ten Jew men for make minyan 1360 01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,000 for Kaddish. 1361 01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,000 Prayer for dead. 1362 01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,000 I don't know the words to the prayers. I'm sorry-- 1363 01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:16,000 Is fine! 1364 01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:36,000 [all praying in foreign language] 1365 01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:54,000 Amen. 1366 01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:03,000 Amen. 1367 01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:09,000 Are you okay? 1368 01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:14,000 Yeah, I've... 1369 01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,000 I've lost some people. 1370 01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,000 Who? 1371 01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,000 My parents. 1372 01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:32,000 [continues praying] 1373 01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:46,000 [man clears throat] 1374 01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:58,000 Hello. 1375 01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:05,000 Is Herschel. 1376 01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,000 Yeah, I figured that out. 1377 01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:13,000 Alexa tell me how to fly here. 1378 01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:19,000 I am truly sorry for doing violence to you. 1379 01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,000 And getting you deported to Schlupsk. 1380 01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:26,000 I was wrong. 1381 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,000 It's okay. 1382 01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:31,000 Is not okay. 1383 01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,000 I was wrong about you. 1384 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:54,000 I thought you did not care about family. 1385 01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,000 But now I see with your Boop Bops, 1386 01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:59,000 you were just trying to honor family. 1387 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:02,000 This is why you do not sell Boop Bops 1388 01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:04,000 and you sit alone all day. 1389 01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:07,000 Not because you are coward. 1390 01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:09,000 You not sell Boop Bops 1391 01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:12,000 because you are afraid to let down family. 1392 01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:14,000 But you do not. 1393 01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:18,000 I never met mother or father, 1394 01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:21,000 but they would be proud. 1395 01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:23,000 Sarah would be proud. 1396 01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:25,000 I am very proud. 1397 01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:29,000 You make my vow come true. 1398 01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:33,000 You are everything I hoped family would become. 1399 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,000 Thank you. 1400 01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:41,000 Thank you. 1401 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:45,000 All right. Come. 1402 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:50,000 I would like to show you some place. 1403 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:56,000 [Ben] This place is really nice. 1404 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:56,000 I really get it. 1405 01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:59,000 [Herschel] It's very special place. 1406 01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:01,000 This was Sarah's favorite place. 1407 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,000 She had good taste. 1408 01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:06,000 She would be very happy to know you see this place. 1409 01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:09,000 I'm glad I got to see it. 1410 01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,000 You know, I had an idea the other day. 1411 01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:15,000 What? What is idea? 1412 01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:17,000 Promise not to laugh? 1413 01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,000 I promise. 1414 01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:22,000 Okay, so people love your pickles. 1415 01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:25,000 -They do. It's true. -Can't get enough of 'em. 1416 01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:27,000 It's the brine. It make people go crazy. 1417 01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:30,000 And, you know, I'm good with the internet, 1418 01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,000 good at building websites, things like that. 1419 01:19:32,000 --> 01:19:34,000 So I thought maybe I can build a website, 1420 01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,000 we sell your pickles to people all around the world. 1421 01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:38,000 Family business. 1422 01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,000 Yeah. Family business. 1423 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:42,000 You can pickle more things than cucumbers these days. 1424 01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:45,000 You can pickle watermelon. You can pickle strawberries. 1425 01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:47,000 They pickle fruit these days? 1426 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,000 Oh, yeah. You thought they were milking a lot? 1427 01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:50,000 Wait till you hear what they're pickling. 1428 01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:52,000 Just when I think I figure it out, 1429 01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:55,000 you throw a pickled watermelon at me. I'm like, "Oof!" 1430 01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:57,000 It's a crazy world out there, man. 1431 01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,000 Many people still hate Herschel very much. 1432 01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:01,000 That is true. 1433 01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,000 I say many terrible things. And if one thing true 1434 01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,000 in America, 1435 01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:06,000 once you say terrible things, you will never be success. 1436 01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,000 That is not true. At all. 1437 01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:09,000 Oh, that's great news. 1438 01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:12,000 Still, we should make some apologies. 1439 01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:17,000 All I know is that whatever we do next, 1440 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,000 we should do it together. 1441 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:21,000 Together? 1442 01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:24,000 Yeah. 1443 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:26,000 Together. 1444 01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:27,000 [uplifting music playing] 1445 01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:14,000 Do you wanna pray? 1446 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:21,000 You do not mind? 1447 01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,000 I don't mind. 1448 01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:35,000 [praying in foreign language] 1449 01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,000 Amen. 1450 01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,000 Amen. 1451 01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:22,000 [Herschel] I like her very much. 1452 01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,000 -Barbra Streisand? -Yes. 1453 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:26,000 This her name? Barbra Streisand. 1454 01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:28,000 -Babs. -Babs. 1455 01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:30,000 -She very pretty. -Oh, yeah. 1456 01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:31,000 She is Jew. 1457 01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:32,000 Oh, yes. 1458 01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:34,000 She is a Jew. 1459 01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,000 Very much Jew. 1460 01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:38,000 [Herschel] Very attractive trait, 1461 01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:40,000 dress like boy to go to yeshiva. 1462 01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:41,000 I've always said that. 1463 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,000 She little Jew boy. She dress like little Jew boy. 1464 01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:46,000 But little Jew woman underneath there. 1465 01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,000 I like this film very much. 1466 01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:52,000 You're really coloring it in a new way. 1467 01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:53,000 It's very naughty. 1468 01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:55,000 It is super naughty the way you describe it. Yeah. 1469 01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:58,000 -[Herschel] She is married. -She is. 1470 01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:00,000 -One day, Barbra Streisand. -[laughs] 1471 01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:02,000 One day. 94539