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1
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,838
Rog, I'm 10 out.
2
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,407
I'll scoop you,
and then we're headed straight
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,609
to the Sharks Nest
for some laser hockey, baby.
4
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:11,312
Pew pew! My favorite sport! Can't wait.
5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,546
Check this.
6
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,148
We're sitting in the mayor's box.
7
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:15,516
Dick's been moonlighting
8
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,151
as Mayor Garfield's Chief of Security.
9
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,652
Yeah, Dick, killing it!
10
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,021
You're coming as your Pete
Van Smash persona, right?
11
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,523
- You know it!
- Good.
12
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:25,193
All the guys from work
think Van Smash is a God.
13
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,095
He loves sports,
and he's always on the hunt
14
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,829
for new awesome porn.
15
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,132
Van Smash always brings the fire.
16
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,067
I'm going to slip into him right now.
17
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:36,804
Hell yeah.
18
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,306
What up, blowhole?
19
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,141
I hate to do this,
but I got to flake on you
20
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,009
- for that laser game.
- What?
21
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,677
Why didn't you just tell
me on the other line?
22
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:47,148
Van Smash doesn't make other
people take out his trash, bruh.
23
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,083
I got to go. I'm about
to get in an accident.
24
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,890
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
25
00:00:56,924 --> 00:01:00,728
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
26
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,864
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
27
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:08,269
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
28
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:13,541
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
29
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,009
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
30
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,077
Aah!
31
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,715
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
32
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,585
That's a laser goal!
33
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:25,819
Three points!
34
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,055
- Yeah!
- Yeah, yeah!
35
00:01:28,662 --> 00:01:30,458
How sweet is this box?
36
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,092
Stan, where's Van Smash?
37
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,262
- He totally flaked.
- Oh, man.
38
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,096
I bet he had something cool to do.
39
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,766
He's probably being so funny right now.
40
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,169
That's too bad. I wanted everyone here
41
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,903
so I could share some good news.
42
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,439
With the extra money I'm
making working for the mayor,
43
00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,041
I finally bought that boat
I've been lusting after.
44
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:50,110
The one that's been rusting
in the Walmart parking lot
45
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,479
for the last three years?
46
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,947
Yep! But that's not the good news.
47
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,284
If I had not moved out of my apartment
48
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:57,885
and on to that boat,
then I wouldn't have met
49
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,487
the love of my life.
50
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,822
Meet Becky Tenderhearts.
51
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,457
- Goddamnit.
- I got to ask,
52
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,226
how do you guys concentrate at work
53
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:08,962
with this tub of hot roast
beef slopping around?
54
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,934
Francine, I came across
a pretty troubling photo
55
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,937
from your bender last night.
56
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,439
Oh, God!
57
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,807
I made out with Tuttle?
58
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,310
- Ew! Mom!
- Get it, Mrs. S!
59
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:25,579
I wonder if I took a bite
or ate the whole thing.
60
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:28,015
I better pop a Plan B.
61
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:31,419
Got you! It's Photoshop, baby!
62
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,086
Ah!
63
00:02:34,219 --> 00:02:35,623
Too kind, too kind.
64
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,825
Little light on the cheering there,
Klaus.
65
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,627
Now, to more important matters.
66
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,894
What the hell, Roger?!
67
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,963
You have to break up with Dick!
I command it!
68
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,898
First, I'm not dating Dick.
69
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,435
My persona, Becky Tenderhearts, is.
70
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,002
Second, I'm not dumping him.
71
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,304
Becky is in love!
72
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,105
- Aw!
- Yes.
73
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,842
That is so sweet!
74
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,844
It isn't sweet, Hayley. It's annoying.
75
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,280
Roger ditched me,
so there I was looking like
76
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,849
an ass kneeling during the
national anthem all alone!
77
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,484
Relax. Every once and a while,
78
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,086
my characters' schedules conflict,
but don't worry.
79
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:08,422
I don't see any other
conflicts on the horizon.
80
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,791
Good because you and I have a big
81
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,860
Wheels and the Legman case to crack.
82
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,496
The Legman is ready,
and, Frannie, Hayley,
83
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,631
I'll be there as Jeannie
Gold to help you plan
84
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,032
Nerfer's bachelorette party.
85
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,935
I can't believe Nerfer is settling down.
86
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,071
She has such big tits!
87
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:26,874
And Raider Dave and I are
watching the game tomorrow.
88
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,543
See, Stan? Plenty of Roger to go around.
89
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:32,546
Now, if you'll excuse me,
Becky has some planning to do.
90
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,315
She's moving on to Dick's boat!
91
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,084
Roger, that's a big step!
92
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,387
Stop. It's just easier, Steve.
93
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,322
Sure, Roger. That's the reason.
94
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,923
Shut up, Steve!
95
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,598
Oh, no, bro. That's my buddy
96
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,300
Raider Dave's lucky seat.
97
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,802
We're bonded in blood as
citizens of Raider Nation,
98
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,704
and he's going to be here any second!
99
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,792
- Awesome.
- Oh!
100
00:03:59,286 --> 00:04:01,875
Damn it, Roger. Where are you?
101
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:06,380
Jalapeño popper on the floor.
Don't do it, Klaus.
102
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,915
Oh, sick!
103
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,718
I caught this right
before it hit the ground!
104
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,987
The Raider game is about to
start if anyone's interested!
105
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,625
Who cares about football when
we've got this beautiful sunset
106
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,892
over the marina.
107
00:04:19,422 --> 00:04:21,762
And that glorious smell?
108
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,163
What is that smell, Dick?
109
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,432
Dead seagull.
110
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:27,067
Thank you for this life.
111
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:34,174
Mom, Nerfer's bachelorette
must be pirate themed!
112
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,776
Nerfer loves pirates!
113
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,012
That's why I've been saying
we should go steampunk.
114
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,616
It includes pirates
but has some gadgets.
115
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,553
If Roger were here,
Jeannie Gold would tell you to listen
116
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,254
to what the bride wants,
117
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,957
and Nerfer doesn't want future pirates!
118
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,093
Jeannie Gold would help me kick your ass
119
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,864
because she knows that
steampunk isn't future!
120
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,900
It's an alternate
timeline where technology
121
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,570
developed differently,
you piece of shit!
122
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,937
- Aah!
- Aah!
123
00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:12,312
I love dancing barefoot here.
124
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:16,617
I can feel the peanut shells
crunch beneath my toes.
125
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,886
Hey! That guy pinched my ass.
126
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,889
He's going to eat some Dick fist.
127
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:23,477
Ugh!
128
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,294
Stop it! Dick, stop it.
129
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,329
That guy didn't really pinch my ass.
130
00:05:29,892 --> 00:05:32,766
Dick, this guy
just threw a glass at you.
131
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,002
Hey, Jeff. You here to ride Clip Clop?
132
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,070
Every Tuesday at midnight.
133
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,374
Clippy Cloppy,
I've got a dirty carrot for...
134
00:05:41,315 --> 00:05:42,643
Oh, no.
135
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,011
Clip Clop's gone!
136
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,951
As soon as I bang my gavel,
you will be sentenced to death
137
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,786
unless, of course,
something crazy happens
138
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,522
in the next five seconds. Five, four...
139
00:05:55,501 --> 00:05:56,523
Wait!
140
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,325
This man is innocent!
141
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:02,262
- Who are you?
- We're Wheels and...
142
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,797
Legman?
143
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,834
He's supposed to be
here with the evidence.
144
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,268
Oh, well.
145
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:13,340
10,000 volts for Mr.
No-Bicycle-Helmet here.
146
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,148
Do you think this is what Heaven's like?
147
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,752
No. Heaven's got way more birds.
148
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:33,661
The Smiths! As I live and breathe.
149
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:34,695
What has it been,
150
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,564
- 10 years?
- Try a decade.
151
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,232
We're having one of our
famous all-family meetings.
152
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,568
Say no more.
153
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,571
I'll bring you each a glass of marinara.
154
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,340
I call this family meeting to order.
155
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,077
Roger's relationship with
Dick has consumed him.
156
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,545
He's flaking on all of us!
157
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:52,946
He's losing himself in Dick.
158
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,381
We need to break them up.
159
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,017
But Roger will never break up with Dick.
160
00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,353
We need Dick to break up
with him, but how?
161
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:04,224
What if we bribe Dick with,
I don't know, Kit Kats?
162
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,326
Klaus, I'm curious.
163
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,561
Why not money?
164
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,530
I'm curious, too, Steve.
165
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,965
If I know one thing about Dick,
166
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,468
it's that he hates getting cheated on.
167
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,637
- Is there anything there?
- Wait a second.
168
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:20,207
Klaus recently became
amazing at Photoshop.
169
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,477
He could make it look like
Becky has been cheating on Dick.
170
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,012
Is this true, Klaus?
171
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,279
Is it true that you've recently
172
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,715
become amazing at Photoshop?
173
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,149
Let me put it this way.
174
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,652
I've recently become
amazing at Photoshop.
175
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,920
Perfect.
176
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,623
On to our next order of business.
177
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,158
Steven Smith is motioning
that his new nickname
178
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,460
is Bayou Billy With The Heavy Balls.
179
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,996
- All those in favor?
- Aye.
180
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,933
Congratulations,
Bayou Billy With the Heavy Balls.
181
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,737
On my way to work,
182
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,705
I bought a bunch of
new ropes for my boat.
183
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:54,274
I'm talking really good ropes.
184
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,777
Damn, Dick.
These sound like great ropes.
185
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,345
Please tell me you got pics.
186
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:02,082
Better than pics, I have the ropes.
187
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,551
They're here?
188
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,152
Dick, I've been really happy for you
189
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,287
over the last couple weeks,
190
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:09,256
over the Moon honestly,
but you're my best friend.
191
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,291
- I am?
- For this situation, yes,
192
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,594
and I can't lie to my best friend.
193
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,930
I was on the Googz doing some
"I Feel Lucky" searches,
194
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,733
and I stumbled across a
pretty disturbing image.
195
00:08:21,241 --> 00:08:22,636
I don't know.
196
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:25,573
It's Becky, but this looks old.
197
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,609
I'm not naive enough to think
she never dated before me.
198
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:33,113
Wait. Look at the guy
holding the newspaper.
199
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,514
"Two Days Ago"?!
200
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,217
How could she?!
201
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,626
Dick dumped me.
202
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:46,827
He stomped on my heart
203
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,528
and wouldn't even tell me why.
204
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,030
Do you think it was because I had to
205
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,332
stop sex once because I
had a hair in my throat,
206
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,500
and when I finally got it out,
207
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,035
it was a whole eagle feather?
208
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,773
Well, we did an underhanded thing,
209
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,675
but I'd say it's pretty clear that life
210
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,310
is going to go back to normal.
211
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:06,680
I will never, ever get over this!
212
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,549
Oh, hey, Francine.
213
00:09:08,563 --> 00:09:11,351
I just wanted to make
sure you were doing okay
214
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,186
after Becky's big breakup.
215
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,823
Oh, wasn't that so fun?
She was devastated.
216
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,725
What a great ending to her story.
217
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,727
Whenever a character's
story arc is over,
218
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,662
I vacuum seal their costume
219
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,463
and store it in my character closet.
220
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,965
One thing they don't
tell you about these
221
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,867
vacuum pouches is you
can save a ton of money
222
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,869
by not buying the pump.
223
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,707
One thing they don't
tell you about these
224
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,876
vacuum pouches is you
can save a ton of money
225
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,144
by not buying the pump.
226
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,885
Well, I'm glad to see you're
back to your old self.
227
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,188
How can Mr. Taffarelli
not be an all-timer?
228
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,390
He was so shy.
229
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,560
Good to have you back, Legman.
230
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,329
So I ran that hair we found
at the scene of the crime.
231
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,732
You know how we thought no
man could kick that hard?
232
00:09:58,766 --> 00:09:59,900
We were right.
233
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,169
It was a kangaroo.
234
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,371
You're a hell of a private...
235
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,240
Dick.
236
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:10,944
Jeannie, I'm glad you're here
'cause last night,
237
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,946
it hit me... the perfect thing
238
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,148
for Nerfer's bachelorette party...
239
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,684
strippers!
240
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,720
Ooh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
241
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,254
Are we talking full frontal?
242
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,422
Because I want to see some...
243
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,659
Dick.
244
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,696
We have fun. Don't we, Clippy?
245
00:10:29,109 --> 00:10:31,397
_
246
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,135
Chargers are stupid.
247
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,137
Raider Dave, get in here!
248
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,239
I'm not in the right head space.
249
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,208
Just punch him in the balls for me.
250
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,243
It's the area right under his...
251
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,450
What are we doing at BDB's?
252
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,319
We only come here when
there's a problem,
253
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,653
and everything's fine.
254
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,255
Roger, we need to talk.
255
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:58,091
We think Becky's breakup
with Dick is affecting you.
256
00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,492
Why would you think that?
257
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,629
Because all of your characters are sad.
258
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,465
During our meeting,
Jeannie Gold recommended a stripper
259
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,136
who only dances to Tracy Chapman's
"Fast Car."
260
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,938
Jeff said Clip Clop cried.
261
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,873
Now he thinks horses have human feelings
262
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,742
and should be allowed to vote.
263
00:11:15,376 --> 00:11:18,111
Becky was my most vulnerable persona.
264
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:21,014
Her pain must be affecting
my other characters.
265
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:23,516
Oh, we would like
to offer you our authentic
266
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,685
Taste of Tuscany appetizer.
267
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,588
Taste of Tuscany? Wait a second.
268
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,391
Last year, my book club
tried to force me to read
269
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,993
"Under the Tuscan Sun."
270
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,495
Luckily, I found out
it was a movie just in time.
271
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:39,299
But it taught me a valuable lesson.
272
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,035
If you're down, go to Tuscany,
273
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,204
and you'll be magically fixed.
274
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,840
Do you think Tuscany's
magic can fix Becky?
275
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,109
- I do.
- Oh, yeah!
276
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,044
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh, yeah!
277
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,512
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh, yeah!
278
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,713
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh, yeah!
279
00:11:57,947 --> 00:11:58,952
That house.
280
00:11:59,841 --> 00:12:02,089
Stop the bus. Stop the bus!
281
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,790
_
282
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:09,396
Sad lady, I will teach you Italiana.
283
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:12,232
Only then will you be
able to stop the bus.
284
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:20,125
_
285
00:12:20,967 --> 00:12:23,918
_
286
00:12:23,919 --> 00:12:26,889
_
287
00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:30,699
_
288
00:12:31,435 --> 00:12:32,498
_
289
00:12:32,499 --> 00:12:34,799
_
290
00:12:37,025 --> 00:12:38,340
_
291
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,768
_
292
00:12:39,769 --> 00:12:41,687
_
293
00:12:41,688 --> 00:12:43,415
_
294
00:12:43,416 --> 00:12:45,252
_
295
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,972
_
296
00:12:47,973 --> 00:12:49,454
_
297
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,205
Good thing you learned Italian.
298
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,548
Francine, wake up. Wake up!
299
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,785
Last night,
the most wondrous thing happened.
300
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,554
I couldn't sleep, so I went into town,
301
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,422
and you remember that hunky single guy
302
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,059
who owns the Italian soda shop,
Marioigi?
303
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,760
No.
304
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,562
We've only been here for 12 hours.
305
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:16,930
We fell in love!
306
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,331
And we screwed!
307
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,467
Bella, I love you!
308
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,701
I must go now.
309
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:27,207
But then I realized I'm a strong,
independent woman.
310
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,476
I don't need to be
defined by a single man.
311
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,244
- Ciao, bella.
- Mi amore.
312
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,913
- Principessa!
- Mangia, mangia.
313
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,414
- Mi amore!
- Tutta bella!
314
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,748
- Principessa!
- Cara mia!
315
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,150
- Ciao, bella!
- Mangia, mangia,
316
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,785
che ti fa bene! Mwah.
317
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,720
Did you sleep with all these...
318
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:42,990
- Aye!
- Oh!
319
00:13:46,899 --> 00:13:48,361
You were right to bring me here.
320
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,497
In Tuscany, I found the one thing
321
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,832
I was looking for... me.
322
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,602
I'm all better now.
Let's cream out of here.
323
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,941
Van Smash, how's it hanging?!
324
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,043
To the left down my pants
and up the other leg.
325
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,245
Ha! If you speak true,
326
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,848
then you must have the
lengthiest of johnsons.
327
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,084
Good to have you back, Van Smash.
328
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,154
I'm glad you're here
329
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,623
because we've got another special guest,
330
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,859
my new girl, Linda Vulnerabella.
331
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:23,030
Black bra, see-through shirt,
pure class.
332
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,864
Chic, chic, chic.
333
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,834
Like I always say,
nobody who lives on a boat
334
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,636
can stay dry for long,
335
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,071
and I mean that in two ways.
336
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,041
How'd you two meet?
337
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:37,377
We met... at the marina bait shop,
338
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,711
and he took me to this bar called...
339
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,348
Barnacles?! That was our bar!
340
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,051
I've never been to Barnacles
with you, Van Smash.
341
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,652
Yeah, Van Smash,
342
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,521
what are you talking about, Van Smash?
343
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,990
Oh, yeah. I'm Van Smash.
344
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,692
Um, Linda, what's your deal?
345
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,361
You like porn? You like Deadpool?
346
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,563
- You like something else?
- Like all women,
347
00:14:56,596 --> 00:15:00,033
I enjoy the wit and
wisdom of Chester Cheetah.
348
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,402
Isn't she great? Mwah.
349
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,775
Did our time together mean nothing?
350
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,074
Dick is always getting it in. Ah!
351
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,176
I didn't realize you
were such a womanizer!
352
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,244
Ah! Womanizer? I hardly know her.
353
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,380
Ah! You're a snake, Dick.
354
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,049
Ah! I'll show you a snake, my snake.
355
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,918
Van Smash is hilarious.
356
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,654
I had no idea he had a
personality disorder.
357
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,756
So funny!
358
00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:26,226
Sorry I had to whack you, little guy,
359
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,061
but hopefully you got some closure.
360
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,729
Tomorrow,
I'll take you to the laundromat
361
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,598
and let you ride around in the dryer.
362
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,233
That always cheers you up.
363
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,835
Will you put a red
sock in there with me?
364
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,504
Maybe I'll come out a little pink.
365
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,938
No problem, buddy,
366
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,440
but you're not going to turn pink.
367
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,910
But maybe there's a tiny chance.
368
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,578
Maybe. Get some sleep.
369
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,652
Psych!
370
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,321
I ain't going to sleep...
371
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:57,924
until Dick pays for what he did.
372
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,163
Sheesh, hope this hit man's
better at shooting people
373
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,631
than he is at being on time.
374
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,765
Oh, there you are.
375
00:16:06,338 --> 00:16:07,600
Here it is.
376
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,136
I want him dead.
377
00:16:09,757 --> 00:16:11,671
Consider it done.
378
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,446
Back of the line, buddy.
379
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,647
I just need to check on him.
380
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,981
He kind of freaked out when he saw
381
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,450
Dick with a new girl last night.
382
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,917
I don't think he's awake.
383
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,653
I've been waiting an
hour to update the Legman
384
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,421
on the case of the unsolved mystery.
385
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:29,789
We're meeting Jeannie Gold
386
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,124
to sample pirate cakes.
387
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,525
Something's wrong.
388
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,395
I'm going in. Follow me if you dare.
389
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,797
You came. You're braver than I thought.
390
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,599
Smith, thank God you're home.
391
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,135
Last night,
the world's most dangerous assassin
392
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:45,305
landed in Langley.
393
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:49,142
He tried to go unnoticed,
but he can't get by our boys.
394
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:52,112
Our best guess is that he's
been contracted to kill
395
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,646
Mayor Garfield at his first annual
396
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,183
Mayor's Appreciation Parade.
397
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,285
Want to know how we guessed it?
398
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,786
More photos!
399
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,222
_
400
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,523
I'll head there right away, sir.
401
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,158
No need.
402
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:08,295
The mayor is safe because
Dick is his head of security.
403
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,298
I was just passing by on
the way to steal lemons
404
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,900
from the tops of all the farmer's trees.
405
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:18,338
Okay, Miranda!
It's lemon-snatching time!
406
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,973
I don't think Roger is
planning on killing the mayor.
407
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,342
He's planning on killing Dick.
408
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,443
Yeah, that was pretty obvious.
409
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:24,811
That's what I would do.
410
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,180
Well, maybe you will be
surprised to learn
411
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,915
that it's up to us to stop him.
412
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,550
- Again, totally expected.
- Klaus already went
413
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,119
downstairs to warm up the car.
414
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:36,823
Everyone I ever loved is dead!
415
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,534
How the hell are we going to find Roger?
416
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,701
I have an idea.
417
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,039
What the hell did I do?
418
00:17:55,612 --> 00:17:58,611
Hello, Mr. CIA. That's right.
419
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:01,047
I know who you are,
but you'll never find me.
420
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,682
Yes, I will.
421
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,517
You shared your phone's
location services with me
422
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,420
that time you went roller
blading on mushrooms.
423
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,588
Damn it!
424
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,224
Fly. Lead them to Atlanta.
425
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,059
They'll totally believe I'm in Atlanta.
426
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,761
I've been dying to go.
427
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:19,366
I'm in Atlanta.
428
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,533
Roger, stop.
429
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,369
Sorry, Mr. CIA.
430
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:26,573
I was hired to finish job,
and I always finish job.
431
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,874
You don't have to do this.
432
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,109
We tricked Dick into dumping you.
433
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,444
What? How?
434
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,112
Klaus Photoshopped a photo
435
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:34,481
- of you cheating on him.
- We were annoyed
436
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,715
at you for ditching us
437
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,450
just so Becky could be with Dick.
438
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:41,221
So we did something stupid,
but Dick didn't do anything.
439
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,089
Kill me instead!
440
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,457
No, no. Stop that.
441
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,859
Knowing all this,
it would seem silly to...
442
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,127
Do it, Rogertilda!
443
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,365
You dumbasses forgot one thing.
444
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:55,034
Always check for a cage in the air.
445
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,470
Welcome to Atlanta.
446
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,140
Dick!
447
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,909
You look trim.
448
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:06,246
My secret, no bulletproof vest.
449
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,316
Wait! I changed my mind.
450
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,583
I don't want you to kill him.
451
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,051
You can't change your mind.
452
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,487
I have a strict
"no-mind-changing" policy.
453
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,457
- But I love him!
- And I love my job.
454
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,891
Stop!
455
00:19:19,865 --> 00:19:21,294
You shouldn't have done that.
456
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,795
You don't have to kill Dick.
457
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,096
Yes, I do.
458
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,065
Every persona has a story to tell.
459
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,601
But I don't want my
story to end like this.
460
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,303
Raider Dave!
461
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,340
My story ends when I finish my job.
462
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,981
Please!
463
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,321
This ends now.
464
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,461
No-o-o-o-o-o-o!
465
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:56,696
Becky!
466
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,032
Becky, don't die.
467
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,501
I love you.
468
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,702
I'm so sorry.
469
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,804
It's okay, Dick.
470
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,006
This is how our story ends.
471
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,444
We'll always have Barnacles.
472
00:20:09,544 --> 00:20:11,378
No! No!
473
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,046
Stay with me, Becky!
474
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,083
Just promise me one thing, Dick.
475
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,452
Promise me you'll mourn me forever
476
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,988
and never love anyone else.
477
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,990
Uh, okay.
478
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:26,559
And get a face tattoo of my face.
479
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,661
That way,
everyone will know you're taken.
480
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:29,996
Shh.
481
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:33,333
That's not a yes.
482
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,834
I'm not dying until I hear a...
483
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,677
Is anyone else thinking this
was Roger's plan all along?
484
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,178
Like, Dick was never in danger?
485
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,914
Yeah. Roger is weird.
486
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,816
What's shaking, blowholes?
487
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,151
You guys want to go to my
friend Brandon's funeral?
488
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,053
Dude bit it in an ATV accident.
489
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,522
They're getting a taco truck.
490
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,023
There's going to be
tons of chicks there.
491
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,826
I'm down if Bayou Billy
With The Heavy Balls is.
492
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,161
Oh, yeah!
493
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,397
Bye. Have a beautiful time!
494
00:21:06,426 --> 00:21:08,614
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