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(engaging uptempo music)
2
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(phone rings)
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- World Wide Business Group.
4
00:00:05,956 --> 00:00:07,616
Congratulations. You're
talking to Don Angel.
5
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,056
- Who's Haydn King?
6
00:00:09,156 --> 00:00:09,896
- That's your father.
7
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- And who's Marcus Goode
from Feelin' Great?
8
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- [Ray] Yeah.
9
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- And Pete Mandell from
Railway Union Monthly?
10
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- Yes, he is.
11
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- Are you anyone else?
12
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- No, I'm only ever, Ray.
13
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- What causes chronic fatigue?
14
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- Leslie.
15
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- [Don] Leslie, the daughter?
16
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- It's Leslie and the Lord, our savior.
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- I'm seriously considering
adding a mobile dog-wash
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to the World Wide Group of companies.
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- I might have found you a job.
20
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- What is it?
21
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- It's doing all the signage
for a new dog-wash franchise.
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- Good money?
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- Artwork, your Leslie,
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can we say in-house?
25
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- I'd have to ask.
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(bright engaging music)
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♪ This country is the best around ♪
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♪ You can be what you wanna be ♪
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♪ It's got great infrastructure ♪
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♪ And a top economy ♪
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♪ You can make it as a movie star ♪
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♪ A swimmer or a gymnast ♪
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♪ It's the land of opportunity ♪
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♪ If you want to start a small business ♪
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♪ Small business ♪
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(traffic hums)
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- [Don] Yep.
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Yeah, I don't think it's anything serious.
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I've had a look on MedicineNet.com
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and they referred me onto AcidReflux.com
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so, in my opinion,
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it's a bit of the old acid reflux.
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- [Doctor] I'd like you to take
your underpants down for me.
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- Yeah, I've been researching this
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on the internet for quite a few hours
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and I don't really think it's got anything
to do with taking my underpants down.
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- What symptoms have you had?
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- Ah, a bit of gas.
49
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Bit of a pain in the guts.
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Haven't had a really good crap
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for a couple of weeks. (laughs awkwardly)
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- Any cramping?
53
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- Uh, a bit. Yep.
54
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- Was it after eating?
55
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- Yeah, sometimes.
56
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- And how often would
you eat take-away food?
57
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- Probably five, six times a week.
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But two of those would be gourmet pizzas.
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- What about lunch?
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- Probably the same. Yep.
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- So about a dozen takeaways a week?
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- Yep. But I'm getting salads with that.
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You know, mashed potato, coleslaw,
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bit of everything from
the food pyramid is there.
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- Hmm.
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Without having done a full examination,
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I'd say it's very likely
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that you have irritable bowel syndrome.
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- Didn't come up on the internet.
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- I'm writing you a prescription
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for clomatil.
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Take one tablet a day with your main meal.
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No more.
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And I'd also like to book you in
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for an endoscopy.
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- Oh and what's that?
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- Simple procedure where we run
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a camera up your anus,
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into your bowel.
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- Bags on not taking the memory stick
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out of that camera. (laughs)
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(upbeat music)
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(Ray singing to himself)
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- Hi!
85
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Hello, Les.
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- Hi.
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Where should I put this?
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- Oh.
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Good to see you.
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- Yeah.
91
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Oh, hello! Yeah, um.
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- Thanks for coming.
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- And thanks for the opportunity.
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You just moved in, then?
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- No!
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Oh, these are brilliant!
97
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And the detail!
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These are far more
impressive than I expected.
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- From me?
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- No! For us.
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Terrific, Les.
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- Well, I've had a bit of practice
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designing for the Lieutenants of God,
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and it's been an awesome service to Jesus
105
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but it will be great to have some
106
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paid work.
107
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- Yep.
108
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Coffee?
109
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- Got any real?
110
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- Riva is pretty good.
111
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It's the Rhonda Burchmore one.
112
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- Oh. I like her.
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(phone rings)
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- Hello?
115
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- It's Liz Jarvis from the National Bank.
116
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Could I speak to Don Angel, please?
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- No.
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(hangs up and snaps phone shut)
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(Ray singing to himself)
120
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- Are you seeing anyone at the moment?
121
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- Yes. He's a cognitive
behavioral therapist.
122
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I think it's helping.
123
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- I meant a woman.
124
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- No. No!
125
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How about you?
126
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- Um. His name's Lloyd.
127
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We met through church.
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(laughs awkwardly)
129
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It's kinda like our joke.
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Who needs RSVP when you've got Jesus?
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- Jesus, probably.
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He was single.
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- Fuck off.
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He loves you,
135
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and you're just taking
the piss out of him.
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- Sorry, Liz.
137
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I thought we were swapping jokes.
138
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- You know you could do a lot worse
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than coming to a Lieutenants
of God get-together.
140
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There are some seriously
single women there.
141
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- I don't think they'd
be desperate enough.
142
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- No, they are.
143
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:53,157
(car blasting music)
144
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- [Voice On Phone] Grace
Farms. This is Kevin.
145
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- Morning, Kevin. This is Aidan King here,
146
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from the Lower Croidan News.
147
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Just wondering if I could have
148
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a chat to you about your farm there
149
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please, Kevin.
150
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- Oh yeah, what about it?
151
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- Well, I'm wrestling up a
152
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very special school holiday supplement
153
00:06:07,698 --> 00:06:08,798
for the Lower Croidan News
154
00:06:08,898 --> 00:06:10,198
and I just thought that, uh,
155
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what better way to burn some time
156
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with the kids than tour of a working farm?
157
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- No, we don't do tours here, mate.
158
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- Well, it could be a very tidy
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second income stream for you, Kev.
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And all it would take is a couple
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of decent sized right-hand page ads.
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- You want me to start a business so
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you can sell me an ad?
164
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- Well, this could be the hen
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that lays the golden one for you, Kev.
166
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- Look this is a battery farm, pal.
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It gets pretty ugly here, dude.
168
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The kids will be in tears.
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- I think it could be educational
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for them, Kevin.
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- And I'm thinking you could
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jam it up your ass.
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- Sure. (dial tone)
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Have a think about it
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and, look, I'll try and snaffle
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that right-hand page ad for you.
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Okay, my pleasure.
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Yes.
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Alright, Kevin. Good on you, matey.
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Bye bye.
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Got a feature for you.
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Lower Croidan News.
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Guess what it is though, right?
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I'll tell you who's on board.
185
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You have to tell me what the feature is.
186
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- Couldn't you just tell me?
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This is, uh,...
188
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- No, no. You have to guess. Okay.
189
00:07:01,102 --> 00:07:03,242
So, it's hiking equipment,
190
00:07:03,342 --> 00:07:05,382
a motor mechanic, and a laundromat.
191
00:07:06,302 --> 00:07:08,002
So what's the common thread there, right?
192
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How would you bracken them all together?
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- Businesses?
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- School holidays.
195
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See?
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So.
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What I need from you today is
a couple of kilos of your finest words
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tying them all to school holidays
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and to each other.
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Okay?
201
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- Yep. Leslie's here by the way.
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- Oh great. From...
203
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- From the graphic design.
For the dog washing.
204
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- Oh the (licks lips loudly) daughter?
205
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How are you, babe?
206
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,283
- Not bad, thanks.
207
00:07:32,384 --> 00:07:33,124
- Any messages?
208
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- Ah, a couple of calls from
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the King of the Juice.
210
00:07:36,784 --> 00:07:37,524
- Yep.
211
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- Not very happy about his ad.
212
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- Yep. Yeah, yeah.
213
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So, Leslie Leonard, eh?
214
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- She uses her mum's name.
215
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- Harrington.
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- Jesus, what's all this?
217
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- Sorry, I thought you'd have
218
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a board room table or something.
219
00:07:52,745 --> 00:07:54,925
- Yeah. Well, we only up-sized
220
00:07:55,025 --> 00:07:56,125
a couple of weeks ago.
221
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,965
So, all that stuff is on the way.
222
00:07:58,065 --> 00:07:59,365
- "Creature comforts.
223
00:07:59,465 --> 00:08:01,485
Mobile Dog Washing Service."
224
00:08:01,585 --> 00:08:02,725
Clever, eh?
225
00:08:02,826 --> 00:08:04,446
- Should I start the presentation?
226
00:08:04,546 --> 00:08:05,646
- What's that?
227
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,286
- It's a Spaniel puppy.
228
00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:08,686
A Cavalier King Charles.
229
00:08:08,786 --> 00:08:09,846
- [Don] What's the cloud about?
230
00:08:09,946 --> 00:08:11,486
- [Leslie] Well, it suggests serenity.
231
00:08:11,586 --> 00:08:13,806
Most people associate clouds with comfort.
232
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It implies softness.
233
00:08:15,386 --> 00:08:17,766
Pet owners have a soft spot for animals
234
00:08:17,866 --> 00:08:19,606
and an image like this will reinforce
235
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that they're in the right hands.
236
00:08:21,547 --> 00:08:23,487
- [Ray] Does look soft.
237
00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:26,567
- I've used a PMS 298 as
the main colour in the logo,
238
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:28,727
and then I've reinforced
it in the background.
239
00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:30,927
It's a bright sky blue.
240
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Strong enough to stand out,
241
00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:35,567
yet still cool and inviting.
242
00:08:35,668 --> 00:08:37,528
- And the writing is nice and curly.
243
00:08:37,628 --> 00:08:40,248
- It's based on a font called Curlz MT.
244
00:08:40,348 --> 00:08:42,168
I just love the playfulness of it.
245
00:08:42,268 --> 00:08:44,328
It just says "naughty puppy" to me.
246
00:08:44,428 --> 00:08:48,128
- Ha. So it says "lead balloon" to me.
247
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,228
Or "call in the liquidators".
248
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I mean, that's all very
nice in theory, love.
249
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But, look, I don't know if
250
00:08:55,429 --> 00:08:57,329
they teach you this at a university
251
00:08:57,429 --> 00:09:00,689
but, um, what's really
going to catch the eye
252
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:03,389
when you're driving past at 80 clicks,
253
00:09:04,909 --> 00:09:07,009
is your starburst. Hm?
254
00:09:07,109 --> 00:09:09,109
So, it's...
255
00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:17,670
With say, uh, a "Don's Dirty Dog Wash".
256
00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,250
Eh? (laughs)
257
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:22,810
Well, there's your name right there.
258
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,010
(phone ringing)
259
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You can't teach that sort of stuff.
260
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- We could keep the curly font.
261
00:09:31,231 --> 00:09:33,011
- World Wide Business Group, this is Don.
262
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- Don, it's Eric Brennan.
263
00:09:34,951 --> 00:09:35,851
- EB!
264
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,371
Tell me you've scared off those
tossers at the AFL.
265
00:09:38,471 --> 00:09:39,851
- I need to see you about another matter.
266
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- Oh. Right.
267
00:09:40,952 --> 00:09:41,732
- Are you in this afternoon?
268
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,412
- Uh. Um. I'm fairly full, mate.
269
00:09:44,512 --> 00:09:45,812
- I need drop round some documents
270
00:09:45,912 --> 00:09:47,492
from your wife's solicitor.
271
00:09:47,592 --> 00:09:48,692
It's in regards to a divorce settlement.
272
00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:50,252
A date has been set.
273
00:09:50,352 --> 00:09:52,772
- Has it? (scoffs)
274
00:09:52,872 --> 00:09:54,252
About time.
275
00:09:54,352 --> 00:09:56,352
About bloody time.
276
00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:00,893
- You're not happy about
the starburst, are you?
277
00:10:00,993 --> 00:10:03,173
- He's a fuckwit!
278
00:10:03,273 --> 00:10:04,853
- Yep.
279
00:10:04,953 --> 00:10:07,313
- That was utterly humiliating.
280
00:10:09,633 --> 00:10:11,633
Do you have any idea how that felt?
281
00:10:13,194 --> 00:10:14,134
You just stood there.
282
00:10:14,234 --> 00:10:16,234
Why didn't you say anything?
283
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,494
- Well, I said I liked your curly font.
284
00:10:23,594 --> 00:10:25,414
- I don't even know why I'm here.
285
00:10:25,514 --> 00:10:27,744
I don't need you. I have a real father.
286
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,335
And I have Jesus, and I have Lloyd.
287
00:10:30,435 --> 00:10:32,435
- Your own holy trinity.
288
00:10:48,956 --> 00:10:51,796
(muffled talking)
289
00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:13,917
(congregation yelling
and speaking in tongues)
290
00:11:27,038 --> 00:11:29,718
(phone ringing)
291
00:11:40,519 --> 00:11:41,459
- Feeling Great.
292
00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,219
- Sol Dolman, King of the Juice.
293
00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:44,499
Is Marcus Good available yet
294
00:11:44,599 --> 00:11:47,099
or is that meeting into
it's fifth hour now?
295
00:11:47,199 --> 00:11:48,939
(farting sounds)
296
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,260
(phone ringing)
297
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,360
- Which prick's this?
298
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,100
World Wide Business Group.
299
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,060
- Is that you, Pete?
300
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:56,860
- Who's this?
301
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:57,700
- It's Janet Wilson
302
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,020
from Wilson Woodwind and Brass.
303
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,380
- Yes, Janet. It's Pete.
304
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,860
- Oh. I'd just like to speak
305
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,140
to Ray Leonard, please.
306
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,100
- In regards to?
307
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,461
- Railway Union Monthly.
308
00:12:05,561 --> 00:12:06,901
- Well, I'm your man on R.U.M.
309
00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:08,461
- No, I'd like to speak to Ray, please.
310
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,701
- Oh yeah, why's that?
311
00:12:09,801 --> 00:12:10,781
- [Janet] Can I speak to him please?
312
00:12:10,881 --> 00:12:13,541
- Sol Dolmon about Feeling Great.
313
00:12:13,641 --> 00:12:15,541
- Yeah, just hang on a sec
314
00:12:15,641 --> 00:12:17,141
will you, Janet.
315
00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:18,381
Marcus Good here, Sol.
316
00:12:18,481 --> 00:12:19,901
Uh, sorry about this phone tag.
317
00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:21,421
How can I help grow your
business this morning?
318
00:12:21,522 --> 00:12:23,102
- Well you can actually
distribute the magazine
319
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:24,542
I advertised in for a start.
320
00:12:24,642 --> 00:12:26,262
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
321
00:12:26,362 --> 00:12:27,242
- [Janet] Can I speak
to Ray Leonard, please?
322
00:12:27,322 --> 00:12:29,182
- Yeah, just hang on bloody
minute will ya, Janet.
323
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,182
- [Sol] I want a list of every place
324
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:31,462
you claim stocks this magazine
325
00:12:31,562 --> 00:12:33,142
cause I'm buggered if
I can find it anywhere.
326
00:12:33,242 --> 00:12:34,982
- Oh sorry, mate, you're breaking up
327
00:12:35,082 --> 00:12:36,662
a little bit there, right?
328
00:12:36,763 --> 00:12:37,503
Ray! (whistles)
329
00:12:37,603 --> 00:12:38,823
- [Janet] Who am I speaking to?
330
00:12:38,923 --> 00:12:40,063
- I said just bloody hang on a sec
331
00:12:40,163 --> 00:12:40,943
will you, Janet?
332
00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:42,083
- [Sol] Not one health
food shop in my suburb
333
00:12:42,163 --> 00:12:44,863
has ever seen or heard of Feeling Great.
334
00:12:44,963 --> 00:12:46,963
- 'Dirty' Janet Wilson for you.
335
00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:49,663
- [Don] Hello, Sol!
336
00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:50,623
- [Ray] Hello?
337
00:12:50,723 --> 00:12:52,143
- Oi!
338
00:12:52,243 --> 00:12:53,343
- [Sol] Yeah, I'm here. I've gotcha.
339
00:12:53,444 --> 00:12:54,264
I can hear you loud and clear.
340
00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:57,424
- No. No, you're dropping out there, Sol.
341
00:12:57,524 --> 00:12:58,744
I'm sorry, mate.
342
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,144
Look, I'll tell you
what, if you can hear me,
343
00:13:00,244 --> 00:13:02,584
I'll call you back when I get a chance.
344
00:13:02,684 --> 00:13:03,664
- [Sol] No, don't hang up this phone.
345
00:13:03,764 --> 00:13:05,704
- The sooner they sell
this Telstra dinosaur off,
346
00:13:05,804 --> 00:13:06,664
the better, eh?
347
00:13:06,764 --> 00:13:07,504
- [Sol] No, don't, no...
348
00:13:07,604 --> 00:13:09,714
- Alright then, Sol. Cheers, mate.
Talk soon. Bye bye.
349
00:13:09,805 --> 00:13:10,985
Bye.
350
00:13:11,085 --> 00:13:13,705
(farting noises)
351
00:13:13,805 --> 00:13:14,945
- Ray Leonard.
352
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,305
- Oh, hi Ray!
353
00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:19,305
It's Janet Wilson. How ya going?
354
00:13:19,405 --> 00:13:21,385
- Fine. Why?
355
00:13:21,485 --> 00:13:22,185
- Oh, you know.
356
00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:24,185
Just wondering if you're
(trumpet playing in background)
357
00:13:24,285 --> 00:13:26,585
busy in there with your writing.
358
00:13:26,686 --> 00:13:27,746
- Yep, I am.
359
00:13:27,846 --> 00:13:28,986
- Yep, me too. Flat out.
360
00:13:29,086 --> 00:13:31,586
Thanks to you and your
wonderful editorial,
361
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:34,686
the autumn sale's been just huge, Ray.
362
00:13:35,526 --> 00:13:37,706
I especially loved the comparison you made
363
00:13:37,806 --> 00:13:39,466
between trumpets blowing and
364
00:13:39,566 --> 00:13:41,946
the autumn leaves blowing around.
365
00:13:42,047 --> 00:13:44,027
So clever.
366
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,067
- Uh huh.
367
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:47,167
- Mhmm!
368
00:13:49,247 --> 00:13:52,307
So... What are you doing now?
369
00:13:52,407 --> 00:13:55,427
- Well, I'm developing a
school holidays feature.
370
00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:57,887
How to keep your kids happy, basically.
371
00:13:58,768 --> 00:14:00,828
Don't feel particularly well-qualified
372
00:14:00,928 --> 00:14:01,988
for it though.
373
00:14:02,088 --> 00:14:04,028
- (laughs) Why's that?
374
00:14:04,128 --> 00:14:05,388
Because you don't keep them happy or
375
00:14:05,488 --> 00:14:06,908
because you don't have any?
376
00:14:07,008 --> 00:14:09,648
- Both. (phone rings)
377
00:14:10,728 --> 00:14:12,828
The other phone's ringing now.
378
00:14:12,929 --> 00:14:14,589
- Oh. Okay.
379
00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:16,869
- Yeah. So. Uh.
380
00:14:16,969 --> 00:14:18,949
- Maybe I could call you back?
381
00:14:19,049 --> 00:14:20,589
- Yep!
382
00:14:20,689 --> 00:14:21,589
- Okay.
383
00:14:21,689 --> 00:14:23,689
- Yep!
384
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:32,190
Music, music, music, music.
385
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:33,830
- Could I speak to James White
386
00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:35,990
or Don Angel, please?
387
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:37,710
- He's not at his desk at the moment.
388
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:38,670
- Neither of them?
389
00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:39,510
- No.
390
00:14:39,610 --> 00:14:40,950
- To whom am I speaking?
391
00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:43,430
- Ray. The senior journalist.
392
00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:45,750
- Can you inform James or Don that
393
00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:48,511
World Wide Business has exceeded
394
00:14:48,611 --> 00:14:50,511
it's overdraft limit.
395
00:14:50,611 --> 00:14:52,151
And, until I can clear
it up with one of them,
396
00:14:52,251 --> 00:14:55,351
I'll have to suspend all the accounts.
397
00:14:55,451 --> 00:14:56,671
- Right. I'll pass that on.
398
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,191
- Tell him he'll need
to speak to Liz Jarvis
399
00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:01,911
at the National Bank urgently,
400
00:15:02,012 --> 00:15:04,112
if he wants to continue trading.
401
00:15:04,212 --> 00:15:06,212
- Okay. Yep.
402
00:15:15,852 --> 00:15:19,412
(background music playing)
403
00:15:23,293 --> 00:15:25,433
- That looks like a PMS 693 colour
404
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,533
wouldn't you say, Ray?
405
00:15:27,973 --> 00:15:30,693
Make you feel melancholy yet playful?
406
00:15:33,213 --> 00:15:34,513
(laughs) Lovely girl, your Leslie, but
407
00:15:34,614 --> 00:15:36,834
does she talk some frog shit.
408
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,114
- She thinks you're a fuckwit.
409
00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:40,314
- Whoa, whoah. Eh!
410
00:15:40,414 --> 00:15:41,554
She needs to toughen up if she wants
411
00:15:41,654 --> 00:15:43,654
to make it out there.
412
00:15:44,414 --> 00:15:46,434
She needs to take a postgraduate degree in
413
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:48,714
'Welcome to the Real Bloody World'.
414
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:50,284
- I think she's pretty talented.
415
00:15:50,375 --> 00:15:52,475
- Yeah, well, we all think our kids
416
00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:53,515
are talented, right,
417
00:15:53,615 --> 00:15:55,615
but it's healthy not to encourage them.
418
00:16:00,495 --> 00:16:02,495
- She's not my kid.
419
00:16:03,455 --> 00:16:04,155
- Beg yours?
420
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,255
- I only found out six years ago.
421
00:16:09,856 --> 00:16:12,476
My cousin, Adler, came here.
422
00:16:12,576 --> 00:16:15,056
We were looking for a bone marrow donor.
423
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,776
We all had tests.
424
00:16:19,536 --> 00:16:21,656
Leslie's DNA was different to mine.
425
00:16:25,937 --> 00:16:26,917
- Was this around the same time
426
00:16:27,017 --> 00:16:30,137
as the chronic fatigue or?
427
00:16:30,977 --> 00:16:33,177
- Just before it. Yeah.
428
00:16:35,337 --> 00:16:37,037
- So who's the father?
429
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,137
- Jerome.
430
00:16:39,978 --> 00:16:42,298
Some guy Yvonne was seeing before me.
431
00:16:43,618 --> 00:16:45,938
Only a couple of times
at the same time as me.
432
00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:50,138
She got pregnant. Wasn't
sure who the father was.
433
00:16:53,298 --> 00:16:55,398
And since she'd already
broken up with Jerome,
434
00:16:55,499 --> 00:16:57,999
and she just wanted it to be mine.
435
00:16:58,099 --> 00:17:00,559
- The lying, stinking whore.
436
00:17:00,659 --> 00:17:02,659
- I think that's probably a bit strong.
437
00:17:04,059 --> 00:17:06,059
- So when you found out...
438
00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:09,959
- I wrote an article in the Australian
439
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:12,060
exposing the whole thing,
440
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:16,280
but we hadn't told Leslie yet.
441
00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:18,440
- But nobody reads the Australian.
442
00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:20,660
Different if you did it in the Herald Sun.
443
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:22,520
- She couldn't believe I would
444
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:24,800
hurt her like that.
445
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:26,280
It made sense to her that I wasn't
446
00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:28,401
really her father.
447
00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:30,501
She stopped speaking to me.
448
00:17:31,141 --> 00:17:32,241
- Oh, so your wife roots around
449
00:17:32,341 --> 00:17:34,341
and you cop the blame?
450
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:37,801
- They moved out.
451
00:17:37,901 --> 00:17:39,901
I stayed in bed for seven weeks.
452
00:17:41,381 --> 00:17:43,381
- And never went back to work?
453
00:17:46,022 --> 00:17:51,022
(scoffs) They are like
pigeons, I reckon, women,
454
00:17:52,542 --> 00:17:54,122
you feed them, look after them,
455
00:17:54,222 --> 00:17:56,782
but they can't help but
shitting all over you.
456
00:17:58,182 --> 00:18:00,002
All those years of changing nappies,
457
00:18:00,103 --> 00:18:02,803
cleaning up vomit, and sleepless nights,
458
00:18:02,903 --> 00:18:05,883
paying for the school fees, braces,
459
00:18:05,983 --> 00:18:07,403
bikes, food,
460
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,363
and she's not even yours.
461
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,283
How demeaning!
462
00:18:10,383 --> 00:18:13,423
She has made you look like an utter tool.
463
00:18:21,984 --> 00:18:24,584
(upbeat music)
464
00:18:28,544 --> 00:18:30,554
- EB! What's up?
465
00:18:31,665 --> 00:18:33,005
Yeah, I'm on my way.
466
00:18:33,105 --> 00:18:35,345
Just grab yourself a
nougat log and sit tight.
467
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:43,025
(phone ringing)
468
00:18:49,266 --> 00:18:51,266
- Leslie?
469
00:18:55,186 --> 00:18:56,886
I just wanted to say sorry
470
00:18:56,986 --> 00:18:58,966
about this morning.
471
00:18:59,066 --> 00:19:02,566
Sorry you were humiliated like that.
472
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:05,087
I don't mean to keep doing this to you.
473
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:07,407
I was trying to make up for,
474
00:19:07,507 --> 00:19:11,927
you know, everything.
475
00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:16,727
I told Don he was a
fuckwit, if that helps.
476
00:19:16,827 --> 00:19:21,827
Well, that you think he's a fuckwit.
477
00:19:23,508 --> 00:19:25,508
Lloyd seems nice.
478
00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:28,148
How old would he be...
479
00:19:38,029 --> 00:19:40,029
- What are you working on?
480
00:19:40,989 --> 00:19:42,989
- Nothing!
481
00:19:43,709 --> 00:19:45,709
- Alright.
482
00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:50,369
- [Don] This is bullshit, Eric.
483
00:19:50,469 --> 00:19:52,249
Fifty percent of my assets.
484
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:53,970
Can she really claim that?
485
00:19:54,070 --> 00:19:56,070
- I have no idea.
486
00:19:57,350 --> 00:19:58,570
- Equal custody of the kids,
487
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:00,250
well that's not gonna happen.
488
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:02,390
That mole is never satisfied.
489
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:04,490
Have a look at this.
490
00:20:04,590 --> 00:20:05,330
- Don.
491
00:20:05,430 --> 00:20:06,250
- Just bear with me.
492
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:07,770
See that?
493
00:20:07,871 --> 00:20:09,331
Full page, colour ad,
494
00:20:09,431 --> 00:20:11,691
in one of our premier publications.
495
00:20:11,791 --> 00:20:14,611
Twelve hundred and fifty
bucks worth of free
496
00:20:14,711 --> 00:20:15,691
for a stack of new clothes
497
00:20:15,791 --> 00:20:17,531
on contra for her.
498
00:20:17,631 --> 00:20:19,651
Is it any wonder things are a bit tight
499
00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:21,131
at the moment?
500
00:20:21,231 --> 00:20:22,051
I mean, they're fine.
501
00:20:22,151 --> 00:20:23,571
Yeah, we are growing the business
502
00:20:23,672 --> 00:20:24,972
and we're, you know, trending upwards,
503
00:20:25,072 --> 00:20:27,352
but it's no thanks to her.
504
00:20:29,552 --> 00:20:31,372
She seeing anyone at the moment?
505
00:20:31,472 --> 00:20:33,472
- She's seeing a solicitor.
506
00:20:34,872 --> 00:20:36,872
- Marcus!
507
00:20:38,312 --> 00:20:40,292
- Uh, yeah.
508
00:20:40,393 --> 00:20:42,453
- Can you hear me alright?
509
00:20:42,553 --> 00:20:43,293
- Yeah.
510
00:20:43,393 --> 00:20:44,813
- What about if I move over here?
511
00:20:44,913 --> 00:20:46,093
Is that better?
512
00:20:46,193 --> 00:20:47,933
I'm not breaking up, am I?
513
00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:49,613
Cause I can come a lot bloody closer
514
00:20:49,713 --> 00:20:51,373
if you want.
515
00:20:51,473 --> 00:20:53,453
Sol Dolman, King of the Juice.
516
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,613
- Yeah, I know.
517
00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:55,533
You've got to try this guy's juice.
518
00:20:55,634 --> 00:20:56,654
It is sensational.
519
00:20:56,754 --> 00:20:58,754
- How big a dickhead do you think I am?
520
00:20:59,714 --> 00:21:00,694
I know what you're up to.
521
00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:01,974
- In regards to?
522
00:21:02,074 --> 00:21:03,974
- The only copy of this magazine
523
00:21:04,074 --> 00:21:05,494
I've ever seen is the one you sent
524
00:21:05,594 --> 00:21:07,694
to me with your invoice.
525
00:21:07,794 --> 00:21:09,334
- And how many were you after, Sol?
526
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,134
- Thirty-five thousand, distributed across
527
00:21:11,234 --> 00:21:12,264
the state, as promised.
528
00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,775
- Oh, come on mate.
529
00:21:13,875 --> 00:21:14,655
I can't go anywhere without
530
00:21:14,755 --> 00:21:15,535
finding the bloody things.
531
00:21:15,635 --> 00:21:17,775
They're in tanning salons, sports shops.
532
00:21:17,875 --> 00:21:19,455
They're in gymnasiums. Aren't they, Ray?
533
00:21:19,555 --> 00:21:21,655
- They're supposed to be.
534
00:21:21,755 --> 00:21:23,815
- [Sol] Tell you where
I found a box though.
535
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,855
In a dumpster at the
back of this building.
536
00:21:25,955 --> 00:21:29,175
- Oh, you have got to be joking me.
537
00:21:29,276 --> 00:21:31,616
That... Eric. Eric Brennan, by the way.
538
00:21:31,716 --> 00:21:32,416
He's my solicitor.
539
00:21:32,516 --> 00:21:33,496
Could you get straight on to
540
00:21:33,596 --> 00:21:36,216
McNollinson's Distribution, please?
541
00:21:36,316 --> 00:21:37,496
And give them both bloody barrels
542
00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:38,296
across the bow.
543
00:21:38,396 --> 00:21:40,736
I want our contract annulled
544
00:21:40,836 --> 00:21:42,056
because that is a disgrace
545
00:21:42,156 --> 00:21:43,216
and it's certainly not the way we treat
546
00:21:43,316 --> 00:21:45,416
our valued customers here at World Wide.
547
00:21:45,517 --> 00:21:46,537
- I can't do this.
548
00:21:46,637 --> 00:21:47,417
- What?
549
00:21:47,517 --> 00:21:48,497
- You need a solicitor.
550
00:21:48,597 --> 00:21:49,737
- Yeah, you're my solicitor.
551
00:21:49,837 --> 00:21:50,617
- No, I'm not.
552
00:21:50,717 --> 00:21:52,297
- Well, you did my property transfer.
553
00:21:52,397 --> 00:21:55,617
- I'm a conveyancer.
That's why I was cheap.
554
00:21:55,717 --> 00:21:59,337
I can't do divorce
settlements and contracts.
555
00:21:59,437 --> 00:22:00,417
I'm just not qualified.
556
00:22:00,518 --> 00:22:03,218
And the AFL. Jesus!
557
00:22:03,318 --> 00:22:04,058
Anything to do with the
558
00:22:04,158 --> 00:22:06,458
title of your chicken shop, sure.
559
00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:07,938
But, that's it.
560
00:22:08,038 --> 00:22:10,278
- [Don] (scoffs) Look.
561
00:22:11,318 --> 00:22:12,218
We'll talk about it tomorrow
562
00:22:12,318 --> 00:22:14,318
after you've calmed down a bit, alright?
563
00:22:17,759 --> 00:22:20,339
Can you believe that fat prick? (laughs)
564
00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:22,339
- Very impressive setup you've got here.
565
00:22:22,439 --> 00:22:23,979
- Oh, he's just having a bad day.
566
00:22:24,079 --> 00:22:25,459
You know, he's under the pump a bit
567
00:22:25,559 --> 00:22:26,299
at the moment.
568
00:22:26,399 --> 00:22:29,199
Some people don't cope well with
that sort of stuff.
569
00:22:30,319 --> 00:22:31,859
So, I'll tell you what, Sol Dolman.
570
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,020
Why don't we give you free, gratis,
571
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:37,180
on the house, a full page, colour ad,
572
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,460
in the next issue of Feeling Great.
573
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,060
- And what's the point?
574
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,260
No one sees the poxy thing anyway.
575
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,620
- I'd just be a little bit careful about
576
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:45,980
making defamatory remarks
577
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,340
about my publishing house, my friend.
578
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,380
- Or what?
579
00:22:48,481 --> 00:22:51,181
You're gonna sic your
conveyancer on to me?
580
00:22:51,281 --> 00:22:53,061
You need to get your shit together, pal.
581
00:22:53,161 --> 00:22:54,901
- No one's shit is more
together than mine,
582
00:22:55,001 --> 00:22:56,421
I can assure you of that.
583
00:22:56,521 --> 00:22:57,821
- I'm very pleased to hear that.
584
00:22:57,921 --> 00:22:59,461
Because I want my money back,
585
00:22:59,561 --> 00:23:01,641
and I'm not leaving here until I get it.
586
00:23:03,201 --> 00:23:05,201
- Well, that's just, uh,...
587
00:23:09,922 --> 00:23:11,922
Fine.
588
00:23:13,842 --> 00:23:15,842
Fine.
589
00:23:17,722 --> 00:23:19,542
What's two hundred and fifty bucks to me?
590
00:23:19,642 --> 00:23:20,862
- Four hundred and fifty.
591
00:23:20,963 --> 00:23:22,903
- Four hundred and fifty.
592
00:23:23,003 --> 00:23:24,823
Typical of you lot, isn't it.
593
00:23:24,923 --> 00:23:26,663
- Typical of my lot?
594
00:23:26,763 --> 00:23:28,583
Who exactly are my lot?
595
00:23:28,683 --> 00:23:31,883
- Uh, small minded operators.
596
00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:42,364
(phone ringing)
597
00:23:43,924 --> 00:23:46,284
- Sol Dolman King of the Juice!
598
00:23:48,164 --> 00:23:50,204
- Absolute charlatan, that prick.
599
00:23:52,244 --> 00:23:54,774
You know he's just
ripping off Boost Juice?
600
00:23:56,325 --> 00:23:57,705
He's a Boost wannabe.
601
00:23:57,805 --> 00:23:59,805
Mutton dressed up as boost.
602
00:24:00,245 --> 00:24:02,325
(scoffs)
603
00:24:05,125 --> 00:24:07,125
Who's Dirty Liz Jarvis?
604
00:24:16,646 --> 00:24:19,126
(funky music)
605
00:24:30,967 --> 00:24:33,027
- [Don] I'm right for paper, thanks.
606
00:24:33,127 --> 00:24:35,227
- It's the school holidays feature.
607
00:24:35,327 --> 00:24:37,327
I need you to approve it.
608
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:41,687
- It's approved.
609
00:24:42,608 --> 00:24:44,508
- I think you should read it.
610
00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:47,548
- Ugh. Read it out to me.
611
00:24:47,648 --> 00:24:49,648
Trying to concentrate in here.
612
00:24:57,289 --> 00:25:00,589
- "School holidays. Two words to gladden
613
00:25:00,689 --> 00:25:03,429
the hearts of children like no others.
614
00:25:03,529 --> 00:25:05,269
Whether it's camping in the mountains,
615
00:25:05,369 --> 00:25:07,109
lazing at the beach house, or
616
00:25:07,209 --> 00:25:09,509
taking your kids into your office,
617
00:25:09,609 --> 00:25:11,909
school holidays offer
parents the opportunity
618
00:25:12,009 --> 00:25:14,029
to spend some quality and quantity time
619
00:25:14,130 --> 00:25:17,470
with their DNA certified,
biological children.
620
00:25:17,570 --> 00:25:19,950
And don't High-Country
Hiking and Camping Gear
621
00:25:20,050 --> 00:25:22,030
know all about quality.
622
00:25:22,130 --> 00:25:23,830
Without the appropriate all-weather gear,
623
00:25:23,930 --> 00:25:25,310
a hiking expedition can be
624
00:25:25,410 --> 00:25:27,910
a damp, depressing experience.
625
00:25:28,010 --> 00:25:30,030
But with expertly-fitted boots,
626
00:25:30,131 --> 00:25:32,991
thermal underwear, and emergency flares
627
00:25:33,091 --> 00:25:33,911
from High Country,
628
00:25:34,011 --> 00:25:36,531
it can be considerably more enjoyable.
629
00:25:38,011 --> 00:25:40,191
Of course, school holidays means
630
00:25:40,291 --> 00:25:42,691
kids' washing can really pile up.
631
00:25:43,611 --> 00:25:45,591
So, if you're not heading
off to climb mountains,
632
00:25:45,692 --> 00:25:47,752
the One Turner South laundromat can help
633
00:25:47,852 --> 00:25:50,952
get those extra loads washed and dried.
634
00:25:51,052 --> 00:25:52,912
With six fully-automatic washers,
635
00:25:53,012 --> 00:25:55,592
two currently operational dryers, and
636
00:25:55,692 --> 00:25:57,072
a change machine,
637
00:25:57,172 --> 00:25:59,952
the One Turner South
laundromat is your one stop
638
00:26:00,052 --> 00:26:02,252
school holiday laundry Mecca.
639
00:26:03,813 --> 00:26:05,713
But if soiled clothing isn't an issue
640
00:26:05,813 --> 00:26:08,633
and you are heading off
on a hiking adventure,
641
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:10,993
make sure your car is safe and well tuned
642
00:26:11,093 --> 00:26:14,033
with an expert service from Jeff and Liam
643
00:26:14,133 --> 00:26:16,433
at J and B Car Repairs.
644
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,313
Liam replaces Barry,
645
00:26:18,414 --> 00:26:21,674
who has left suddenly to
pursue other interests.
646
00:26:21,774 --> 00:26:24,194
Nothing spoils the
excitement of holiday away
647
00:26:24,294 --> 00:26:25,154
like being involved
648
00:26:25,254 --> 00:26:27,834
in a serious motor vehicle accident.
649
00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:29,474
So, put your car in the safe hands
650
00:26:29,574 --> 00:26:31,114
of Jeff and Liam.
651
00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:33,324
And drive away with a sense of confidence
652
00:26:33,415 --> 00:26:35,415
bordering on arrogance.
653
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:38,495
Enjoy your holidays."
654
00:26:41,175 --> 00:26:42,475
- [Don] (loud sigh)
655
00:26:42,575 --> 00:26:44,575
Wish I could pump out crap like you do.
656
00:26:46,575 --> 00:26:49,135
(upbeat music)
657
00:26:49,185 --> 00:26:53,735
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