Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:03,128
[ Fanfare plays on cellphone ]
2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,464
[ All chanting "Lulu!" ]
3
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,636
[ Cellphone beeps,
fanfare and chanting stops ]
4
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:11,637
You believe it?
5
00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,639
She scored five goals.
6
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:16,183
Well, to be fair,
it was the goalie's nap time.
7
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,811
Is this what pride
feels like?
8
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,855
I've never
felt it before.
9
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,857
[ Knock on door ]
10
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,404
You left me
in the car.
11
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,784
Honey, I'm so sorry.
12
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:36,161
It's okay.
You also left your keys.
13
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,915
Wait. You were in the car
alone with the ‐‐
14
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,041
Yeah, she moved it.
15
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,626
What?!
I'm kidding.
16
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,752
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. I'm just kidding.
17
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,462
I've got to go
change Lulu.
18
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,297
She got so excited
about the victory,
19
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,675
she literally
pooped herself.
20
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,469
Whatcha doing?
21
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,971
My puzzle game.
22
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,264
Mm.
23
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,349
You know, Emily, there's still
time to sign you up
24
00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:59,434
if you want to play soccer
like your sister.
25
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,019
I don't want to
kick the ball.
26
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,105
I feel like
I'm hurting it.
27
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,150
[ Sighs ]
We've got to get her
28
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,694
into something besides
that puzzle game.
29
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,654
Yeah.
She's a sweet kid.
30
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,906
The world
is gonna destroy her.
31
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,157
[ Door opens ]
32
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,536
Oh, Jo,
33
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:20,831
I notice you lose your keys
a lot.
34
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:21,999
Do I?
35
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,292
Yes, you do.
36
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:26,295
That's why I thought
you'd like my new purse.
37
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:27,796
It has a special
key pocket.
38
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,131
Uh‐huh.
39
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:30,882
And a‐a holder
for your phone.
40
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,593
Neat.
41
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:37,806
And I call this little
special pouch "the gum zone."
42
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,391
That's really great.
43
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:40,475
Don't you just love it?
44
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,352
Careful.
45
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:46,815
I‐I do.
46
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,650
I ‐‐ I do just love it.
47
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,027
I knew you'd love it.
48
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,820
So I got one for you,
too!
49
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,657
Yay.
[ Laughs ]
50
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,492
Now you won't be
a hot mess.
51
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,578
You'll just be hot.
52
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:00,704
Like me.
53
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,509
We have to do something
about her gifts.
54
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,637
This cannot be my purse.
55
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,930
It looks like
a giant gorilla testicle.
56
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:26,021
Quick impression ‐‐
me, 10 years ago.
57
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:41,161
♪♪
58
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,331
[ Sighs ]
59
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,502
I gave this bag a shot,
but I can't.
60
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,213
A hawk tried to
steal it from me.
61
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,510
You know,
before I met you,
62
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,012
I never changed my sheets,
and it was fine.
63
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,975
You know [Sighs]
if your mom would stop
64
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,061
spending all her money
on terrible gifts,
65
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,814
maybe she could, like,
chip in on groceries instead.
66
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,024
I know. She keeps eating
all the string cheese.
67
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,818
[ Emily and Lulu screaming ]
68
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,861
Emily: Give it to me!
Lulu: My trophy!
69
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,780
Your turn.
70
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,867
Hey, what's going on?
71
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,453
Lulu wouldn't
give me her trophy.
72
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,414
Oh, Emily.
73
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,166
You know the best way
to get a trophy?
74
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:32,129
Lulu gives me hers?
75
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:39,636
No, no, you earn one by
playing soccer, like Lulu.
76
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,763
Nah. I don't want to
lose my weekends.
77
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,601
You know, you don't have to
play a whole season.
78
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,854
Your Tío Chuy
has a soccer clinic,
79
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,355
and if you try it
for a day,
80
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,065
you get
a participation trophy.
81
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,942
Just a day?
82
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,486
And do you promise
I'll get a trophy?
83
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,822
Yes.
Fine.
84
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,494
Are we making
a mistake here?
85
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,204
Definitely, but what are you
talking about?
86
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,795
I don't want to bribe Emily
into playing sports.
87
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,465
I mean, why doesn't she
just like them like we did?
88
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:19,593
Babe, you remember that moment
in the hospital
89
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,761
when we were alone
with that other couple?
90
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,847
Yeah.
91
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,307
Did we take the right kid?
92
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:30,145
♪♪
93
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,981
Alright,
my superstar niece is here.
94
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,816
And Emily.
95
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,193
Hi, Tío Chuy.
96
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,819
Why don't you go
run a few suicides,
97
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,154
and we'll start
in a minute?
98
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,449
[ Sighs ]
So, Chuy,
99
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:45,702
it took a lot of encouragement
to get Emily here today, so...
100
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,662
Ah, you don't know how to
motivate your kid,
101
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,998
so you need me to step in
and save your family.
102
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,333
I got it.
103
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,627
Yep, that's exactly
what we were gonna say.
104
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,088
Hey, Jo,
I love that purse.
105
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,799
Okay. That's it.
It's gone.
106
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,470
Kids, you probably
know who I am.
107
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,348
Local soccer legend,
Chuy Rodriguez.
108
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,766
Chh, chh!
[ Pops lips ]
109
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,351
[ Exhales sharply ]
110
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,353
[ Chuckles ]
111
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,480
Today it is my honor
112
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,608
to introduce you
to the most beautiful game ‐‐
113
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:17,984
soccer.
114
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,320
And then
you'll all get trophies.
115
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,989
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
116
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,450
Soccer has just a few
simple rules.
117
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,036
Rule number one ‐‐
you can only use your feet.
118
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,037
No hands.
119
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,622
Okay, little early
for questions,
120
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:31,832
but, uh,
what's up, Emily?
121
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,667
Why can't we use
our hands?
122
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,377
Well, because, uh,
soccer's been around
123
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,170
for thousands of years,
124
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,922
and no one's ever
used their hands.
125
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,217
Yes?
126
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,886
Did people used to
not have hands?
127
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,137
What?
128
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:48,515
No. No, no, no. People ‐‐
People had hands.
129
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,017
Then why did
they hate them?
130
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,020
Let's not talk
about hands.
131
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,981
If you don't want to
talk about hands,
132
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,191
then why did you
bring it up?
133
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,486
Okay, change of plans.
134
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,405
Uh, we're gonna do
some sprints.
135
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,866
Okay, now, everybody
run between the cones.
136
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,826
[ Blows whistle ]
137
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,916
Hey, uh...
138
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,084
What are you doing?
139
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,004
I'm not allowed
to use my hands.
140
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:22,132
Well, you ‐‐ you can use
your hands for that.
141
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:25,385
This is the most confusing thing
that's ever happened to me.
142
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,846
Me, too.
143
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:31,641
♪♪
144
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,436
[ Groans ]
145
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,314
Hey, uh,
where's my mom's purse?
146
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,149
[ Smacks lips ]
About that.
147
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,318
Oh, no.
148
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,653
You know I love your mom.
149
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,988
You do?
150
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,032
Of course.
151
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,074
[ Scoffs ]
152
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,077
But a purse is
enormously personal.
153
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,163
That's why
they call it a purse.
154
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,998
Hmm. Really?
155
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,958
No.
156
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,169
Oh, my God, babe.
[ Chuckles ]
157
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,254
Look, hon,
I know it's a lot to ask,
158
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,548
but you don't have to use it
the rest of your life.
159
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,258
Just the rest of hers.
160
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,593
You don't get it.
161
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,928
It's different for you, because
you actually like her gifts.
162
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,847
Pbht! What?
163
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,182
No, I don't.
164
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,309
You don't?
165
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:15,310
No.
166
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,603
Every birthday
since I was 10,
167
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,937
she's given me
a plaid shirt.
168
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,522
You think I like
plaid shirts?
169
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,982
Yes.
170
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,651
You wear one every day.
171
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,153
This is like
a prison to me.
172
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:28,490
I want to wear
Hawaiian shirts.
173
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,326
Hawaiian shirts!
174
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,703
That sounds very doable.
175
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,497
Why don't you
just talk to her?
176
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,499
Oh, you don't think
I've tried?
177
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,542
Once, in 2005,
I started to,
178
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,962
and she looked at me like that
possum you ran over last year.
179
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,467
[ Whimpers ]
Blblblbl!
180
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,345
Don't ever bring him up.
181
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:55,100
Okay, look,
i‐i‐in your family,
182
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,810
if you don't like something,
you just tell each other, right?
183
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,769
Yeah.
184
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,020
Well, that's not
how we do it.
185
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,355
[ Scoffs ]
186
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,941
What do you think is gonna
happen if you're honest?
187
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,276
It would
destroy the system.
What system?
188
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,570
The system of never, ever
saying what you think
189
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,657
to avoid releasing a lifetime of
unexpressed emotions.
190
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,701
You're crazy.
191
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:13,868
Why don't we
go get the kids?
192
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,495
Okay, sure.
[ Sniffs ]
193
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,163
Where are they?
194
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,457
♪♪
195
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,793
Congratulations.
196
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:24,170
I know participation trophies
are stupid, but ‐‐
197
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,423
So stupid.
198
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,717
...I'm excited
for Emily to get one.
199
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:29,718
Me too.
Yeah.
200
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,136
She needs a win.
201
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,763
I mean, even just getting her
to participate
202
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,265
was a huge
accomplishment.
203
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,600
Yeah, they should give us
a trophy.
204
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,602
[ Applause ]
205
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:42,939
Mom, Dad,
206
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,442
I didn't get a trophy.
207
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,526
What?
208
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,362
Tío Chuy
didn't give me one.
209
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,283
Chuy, what the [bleep]
210
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,244
You said every kid
gets a trophy!
211
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:59,164
If they participate.
Emily did not.
212
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,290
What are you talking about?
213
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,208
Emily didn't
kick the ball once.
214
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:05,795
She spent six hours trying to
eat a sandwich with her foot.
215
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,965
Well, that's a new
level of weird.
216
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,967
Okay, Chuy,
but she was here,
217
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,635
so Emily should get
a damn trophy.
218
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:17,849
Jo, attendance is not
the same as participation.
219
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,642
If I give her one,
220
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,687
then a participation trophy
means nothing.
221
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,356
Exactly.
It's just a piece of plastic.
222
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,567
Chuy, come on.
223
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,153
She's been refusing
to play sports for years.
224
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,821
Look, we finally
got her here, okay?
225
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,323
If Emily doesn't
get a trophy today,
226
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,158
I‐I don't think she's ever gonna
try sports again.
227
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,619
So, you guys screw up
for six years,
228
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,996
and you expect me
to fix it in six hours?
229
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,665
That's exactly what you said
you were gonna do.
230
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,794
As much as I love
my niece,
231
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,170
when I get to
the pearly gates,
232
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,296
I don't want
the big guy saying,
233
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,132
"Why did you lie
and say Emily participated?
234
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:55,303
I expected more from local
soccer legend Chuy Rodriguez."
235
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,520
I'm gonna destroy him
on Yelp.
236
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,608
[ Sighs ]
237
00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:12,152
You promised
if I went to the stupid thing,
238
00:10:12,152 --> 00:10:14,404
I would get a trophy.
239
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,699
Yeah, but you didn't
actually play soccer.
240
00:10:17,699 --> 00:10:18,784
Who cares?
241
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,661
I just want a trophy.
242
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,788
[ Sighs ]
243
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,831
Emily, if Daddy or I
went to work
244
00:10:24,831 --> 00:10:26,124
and didn't do anything,
245
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:27,209
do you think
we'd still get paid?
246
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:29,294
Mm, it's kind of
a gray area for me.
247
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:34,216
Yeah, you know,
government work.
248
00:10:35,342 --> 00:10:38,261
You're always
changing the rules.
249
00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,765
[ Footsteps fade ]
250
00:10:43,058 --> 00:10:44,184
Before kids,
251
00:10:44,184 --> 00:10:46,895
did you ever imagine
having a problem like this?
252
00:10:46,895 --> 00:10:49,231
[ Scoffs ] "I don't want to
eat my broccoli"?
253
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:50,899
Sure.
254
00:10:50,899 --> 00:10:53,694
"Not gonna do my homework."
Heard of that.
255
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:54,903
"I don't like fun."
256
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,323
It's not something
they tell you about.
257
00:10:58,323 --> 00:11:00,409
The only thing she ever does
without complaining
258
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:01,785
is that puzzle game.
I know.
259
00:11:01,785 --> 00:11:04,037
I kept thinking this was gonna
get better as she got older.
260
00:11:04,037 --> 00:11:06,123
But now she is older,
and it's not better.
261
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:09,793
We've tried so many
activities ‐‐ piano, ballet.
262
00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:12,838
She wouldn't even pretend
to have a job in improv.
263
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,632
[ Chuckling ] Oh.
I remember that.
264
00:11:15,632 --> 00:11:16,925
She kept saying,
"I'm unemployed."
265
00:11:16,925 --> 00:11:18,885
[ Laughs ]
266
00:11:18,885 --> 00:11:21,179
I don't know. We ‐‐
We can't give up on her.
267
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:24,224
We j‐‐ We have to find a way to
get her interested in something.
268
00:11:25,934 --> 00:11:27,185
What are you
talking about?
269
00:11:27,185 --> 00:11:28,395
We were just saying
that we need to get Emily
270
00:11:28,395 --> 00:11:29,896
interested in something.
271
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:33,650
Oh, you need to get Emily
interested in something.
272
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:36,653
Right, yes,
I‐I just said that.
273
00:11:36,653 --> 00:11:39,489
But, hey, you know,
since we're all talking...
274
00:11:39,489 --> 00:11:40,824
[ Chuckles ]
275
00:11:40,824 --> 00:11:42,576
Yes?
276
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,786
The purse you got me ‐‐
very thoughtful.
277
00:11:44,786 --> 00:11:46,621
Oh, thank you.
278
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:48,915
Yes.
279
00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:51,084
However, a purse...
280
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,970
I...
281
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,184
You know ‐‐
Jo lost the purse.
282
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:10,270
Yes, yes! Yes.
It's so crazy.
283
00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,272
You bought me the purse so that
I wouldn't lose my keys,
284
00:12:12,272 --> 00:12:14,608
and then I lost the purse
that was supposed to
help me not lose my keys.
285
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:17,110
I guess ‐‐ I guess I need
a purse for my purse.
286
00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:18,236
[ Laughs ]
287
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:20,989
Okay.
288
00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:24,826
[ Door opens ]
289
00:12:24,826 --> 00:12:26,870
God.
I couldn't do it.
290
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,705
I cou‐‐ You were right.
291
00:12:28,705 --> 00:12:31,124
Her whole eye was pupil.
292
00:12:32,584 --> 00:12:35,420
Couldn't just use the purse
for the rest of her life, huh?
293
00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,631
Alright,
what happens now?
294
00:12:40,383 --> 00:12:42,511
You're gonna
bury that purse.
295
00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:49,559
[ Fanfare plays on cellphone ]
296
00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:50,977
Okay, Emily.
297
00:12:50,977 --> 00:12:52,771
[ Cellphone beeps,
fanfare stops ]
Open your eyes.
298
00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:56,483
Welcome to
the Olympics of You.
299
00:12:56,483 --> 00:12:59,152
The what of me?
300
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,780
Olympics. Remember?
301
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,157
We watched the summer ones
like three years ago?
302
00:13:04,157 --> 00:13:05,867
I was 3.
303
00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:09,246
Do you remember
when you were 3?
304
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,290
No, but I've had
a lot of drinks.
305
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,752
Look,
i‐in the Olympics,
306
00:13:15,752 --> 00:13:19,172
people participate
in a bunch of different sports.
307
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:21,174
And you can earn
this trophy
308
00:13:21,174 --> 00:13:24,219
if you try any of the sports
on this lawn.
309
00:13:24,219 --> 00:13:26,513
Take your time, honey.
310
00:13:26,513 --> 00:13:29,224
See what speaks
to you.
311
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:34,980
Hello?
312
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,023
It's not saying anything.
313
00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:39,734
Okay, that ‐‐ No, that's just
a figure of speech.
314
00:13:39,734 --> 00:13:41,695
Here. How does the ball
feel in your hands?
315
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,655
This one's too hard.
316
00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:47,909
This one's too soft.
317
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,163
This one's gonna be
just right.
318
00:13:52,163 --> 00:13:53,874
I hate this one!
319
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,753
[ Fanfare plays ]
320
00:14:01,548 --> 00:14:02,549
Oh!
321
00:14:02,549 --> 00:14:03,967
Basket.
322
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,635
Great job, Lulu!
323
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,972
See? It's not hard.
324
00:14:08,972 --> 00:14:10,140
Lulu did it.
325
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:17,188
If Lulu can do it,
I‐I bet you can, too.
326
00:14:17,188 --> 00:14:20,650
You like Lulu
better than me.
327
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,162
Hey, Lulu.
328
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,539
Read the room.
329
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,798
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
330
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,344
Just draw a dagger
through my heart.
331
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,387
What color?
332
00:14:51,431 --> 00:14:54,100
Hey, Em,
can we talk to you?
333
00:14:56,311 --> 00:14:58,897
Hey, we don't
like Lulu better than you.
334
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:01,691
Yeah, there are no favorites
in this family, okay?
335
00:15:01,691 --> 00:15:02,943
I mean, you know,
it's like Mom and me.
336
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,277
You don't have a favorite,
right?
337
00:15:04,277 --> 00:15:05,820
Yeah, I do. It's Mom.
Don't answer tha‐‐
338
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:09,282
It was a hypothetical.
You ‐‐
339
00:15:09,282 --> 00:15:11,242
Look, we're just trying
to get you interested
340
00:15:11,242 --> 00:15:13,787
in something other than
your puzzle game.
341
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,330
I love that game.
342
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:16,456
We know.
343
00:15:16,456 --> 00:15:19,000
There's just
a lot more to life.
344
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,419
Than doing what you love?
345
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:28,301
Yes.
346
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,972
The real lesson here is
347
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:35,016
that there's a whole,
big world out there, baby,
348
00:15:35,016 --> 00:15:36,893
and you should
try new things.
349
00:15:36,893 --> 00:15:40,313
No, thanks. I just want to
lay in bed and play my game.
350
00:15:40,313 --> 00:15:41,356
Okay.
351
00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:44,150
Then the real,
real lesson here
352
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:46,027
is that no matter what,
353
00:15:46,027 --> 00:15:48,446
you're special,
and we love you, okay?
354
00:15:48,446 --> 00:15:50,865
I love you, too.
355
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:59,124
Even though Lulu has two
trophies and I have none.
356
00:16:01,042 --> 00:16:03,962
Oh, God. She's doing
your mom's pupil thing.
357
00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:09,134
You know what?
Hold that thought.
358
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:12,554
Here.
359
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:15,140
This is for being
a great kid.
360
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,809
[ Gasps ]
361
00:16:17,809 --> 00:16:19,019
Okay, we're done here.
362
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,146
Thank you. Bye.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
363
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,273
Thank you. Bye‐bye‐bye.
Bye‐bye‐bye‐bye.
364
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,150
Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
365
00:16:28,111 --> 00:16:30,113
Did we just get played?
366
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:34,367
Well, she's not doing sports,
she didn't learn anything,
367
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:36,995
we gave her a trophy,
and got kicked out of her room.
368
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:38,204
So, yeah.
369
00:16:41,499 --> 00:16:42,959
Oh, Jo.
Jo: Mm.
370
00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:45,378
Would you get me
a diet soda from the fridge?
371
00:16:45,378 --> 00:16:47,130
Sure.
Thanks.
372
00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:50,341
Aah!
373
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,555
Something wrong, Jo?
374
00:16:55,555 --> 00:16:57,348
You look as though
you've seen a ghost.
375
00:17:01,352 --> 00:17:03,104
The purse.
[ Exhales sharply ]
376
00:17:03,104 --> 00:17:04,814
You found it.
377
00:17:04,814 --> 00:17:07,650
How?
378
00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:09,944
I put a tracking tile
in it.
379
00:17:09,944 --> 00:17:12,405
Well, you do lose things
380
00:17:12,405 --> 00:17:14,407
and you said
you liked it a lot,
381
00:17:14,407 --> 00:17:17,660
and I found it
in a bag in a hole.
382
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,874
Oh, Bill,
383
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:24,626
do you know
anything about this?
384
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,753
I told her not to,
Mommy.
385
00:17:28,296 --> 00:17:29,464
Nice.
386
00:17:29,464 --> 00:17:31,132
It seems
we need to talk.
387
00:17:31,132 --> 00:17:33,301
What is going on here?
388
00:17:33,301 --> 00:17:34,552
[ Sighs ]
389
00:17:34,552 --> 00:17:36,304
Okay, this has gone on
long enough.
390
00:17:36,304 --> 00:17:38,431
I have to come clean.
391
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,603
Bill hates plaid shirts.
392
00:17:43,603 --> 00:17:46,064
Jo hates the purse.
393
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,565
Bill hates everything
you've ever given him!
394
00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:50,318
Jo ran over a possum!
[ Gasps ]
395
00:17:57,992 --> 00:18:00,495
So, you don't like
my presents?
396
00:18:02,163 --> 00:18:07,794
Mom, listen, w‐w‐we ‐‐
we appreciate them so much.
397
00:18:07,794 --> 00:18:10,547
But, yes, we hate them.
398
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:13,216
Oh.
399
00:18:13,216 --> 00:18:16,636
Alright, I'll cool it
on the presents.
400
00:18:16,636 --> 00:18:19,472
That's it?
401
00:18:19,472 --> 00:18:21,516
Yeah, what did you think
was gonna happen?
402
00:18:21,516 --> 00:18:23,977
Nah, I knew you'd be
totally cool with it.
403
00:18:25,478 --> 00:18:27,647
Yeah, I'm cool.
404
00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:29,816
Okay,
so you're not mad?
405
00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:31,484
Why would I be mad?
406
00:18:31,484 --> 00:18:33,319
I‐I‐I‐I only
give you gifts
407
00:18:33,319 --> 00:18:34,529
because
I don't contribute.
408
00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:37,824
I don't pay rent.
I‐I don't buy groceries.
409
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,495
Now I can stop.
410
00:18:42,495 --> 00:18:44,706
Okay, great.
411
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,082
Thank you!
Bye!
412
00:18:46,082 --> 00:18:51,045
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye.
413
00:18:54,632 --> 00:18:56,634
Feels like
we just got played again.
414
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,638
You know what?
Who cares if she buys groceries.
415
00:19:00,638 --> 00:19:03,266
I can finally wear
Hawaiian shirts.
416
00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:07,645
Hawaiian shirts.
417
00:19:07,645 --> 00:19:09,481
And I can use
my old purse.
418
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,816
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
419
00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:15,403
Emily: [ Singsong voice ]
Mom. Dad.
420
00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:18,156
And it feels like we're gonna
get played a third time.
421
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:23,786
♪♪
422
00:19:23,786 --> 00:19:25,413
[ Normal voice ] Watch.
423
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,214
[ Fan whirs ]
424
00:19:37,592 --> 00:19:38,635
Oh.
425
00:19:44,307 --> 00:19:46,893
I built the thing
from the iPad game.
426
00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:50,271
Emily,
this is amazing.
427
00:19:50,271 --> 00:19:53,107
I‐I am so proud of you.
428
00:19:53,107 --> 00:19:55,652
Wait. Hold on. Thi‐‐ This is why
you wanted the trophy?
429
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,488
I should've just
given it to you.
430
00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:01,199
I know you don't like Lulu
better than me.
431
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:04,118
I just said that 'cause I knew
you were gonna give me a trophy.
432
00:20:04,118 --> 00:20:06,120
And you did.
433
00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:11,376
You guys are a puzzle,
and I figured you out.
434
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:15,129
[ Laughing maniacally ]
435
00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:24,430
Hey, babe.
Hm?
436
00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,015
What do you think,
the one with a lot of pineapples
437
00:20:26,015 --> 00:20:28,560
or the one with
all the hot sauces?
438
00:20:31,312 --> 00:20:32,605
[ Knock on door ]
439
00:20:32,605 --> 00:20:34,482
I'll get that.
You're very busy.
440
00:20:38,194 --> 00:20:39,904
[ Sighs ]
441
00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:41,073
Chuy.
442
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,825
I've given this
a lot of thought,
443
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,077
and some things are more
important than participation.
444
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,246
One of them is family,
which is why I'm here ‐‐
445
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,623
Chuy, stop talking.
It's all settled.
446
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:50,749
It is?
447
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,459
Yeah,
she just wanted the trophy
448
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:56,171
for this, like, crazy,
cool machine thing.
449
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:58,757
Ha‐ha!
450
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,012
God is so funny.
451
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,266
Here I am, about to compromise
everything I hold dear
452
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,892
to make a child happy,
453
00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:10,144
and He shows me
454
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,605
that rules are more important
than children.
455
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:16,191
Have a great night!
456
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:18,527
[ Door closes ]
31338
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof