Original subtitles

>> Announcer: TONIGHT ON "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS" ‐‐

DAVID SCHWIMMER, CREATOR AND STAR OF "A BLACK LADY SKETCH

SHOW," ROBIN THEDE, AN ALL‐NEW "CLOSER LOOK," FEATURING THE 8G

BAND WITH FRED ARMISEN AND NOW, SETH MEYERS

>> Seth: HOW'S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?

I SET AN ALARM YESTERDAY MORNING FOR 1:30 IN THE AFTERNOON TO

REMIND ME ABOUT A PHONE CALL BUT I ACCIDENTALLY HIT A. M. INSTEAD

OF P. M SO IT WENT OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF

THE NIGHT AND LONG STORY SHORT, WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE.

I'M JUST KIDDING, BUT OUR LAWYER ISN'T.

LET'S GET TO THE NEWS. ATTORNEY GENERAL WILLIAM BARR'S

TESTIMONY BEFORE THE HOUSE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE WAS DELAYED

BY ALMOST AN HOUR YESTERDAY AFTER THE PANEL'S CHAIRMAN,

CONGRESSMAN JERRY NADLER, WAS INVOLVED IN A CAR ACCIDENT

TURNS OUT, HE WAS WEARING HIS MASK WRONG

DURING BARR'S APPEARANCE YESTERDAY, CHAIRMAN JERRY NADLER

ACCUSED BARR OF POLITICIZING THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT

SAID BARR, "OBJECTION. DURING ATTORNEY GENERAL

WILLIAM BARR'S APPEARANCE YESTERDAY BEFORE THE HOUSE

JUDICIARY COMMITTEE, BARR SAID HE DOES NOT BELIEVE THAT THERE

IS SYSTEMIC RACISM IN LAW ENFORCEMENT BUT HE DID GO ON TO

SAY, "THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTION

WE'LL CERTAINLY ‐‐ CERTAINLY GIVE IT A TRY.

WHEN ASKED YESTERDAY ABOUT INFECTIOUS DISEASE EXPERT

DR. ANTHONY FAUCI'S APPROVAL RATING, PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID,

"HE'S GOT THIS HIGH APPROVAL RATING

SO WHY DON'T I HAVE A HIGH APPROVAL RATING WITH RESPECT TO

THE VIRUS? WHICH IS KIND OF LIKE A JETS

PLAYER SAYING, "I DON'T GET IT THE PATRIOTS ARE WINNING THIS

GAME I MEAN, HOW COME WE'RE NOT

WINNING THIS GAME? SAME BALL, SAME FIELD.

I DON'T GET IT." THAT'S RIGHT, TRUMP QUESTIONED

WHY DR. FAUCI'S APPROVAL RATING IS SO HIGH WHEN HIS IS SO LOW.

I DON'T KNOW, MAN, MAYBE BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO SAVE OUR LIVES.

IF THIS PANDEMIC WAS A GROUP PROJECT, FAUCI WOULD BE THE

STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT MAKING SURE IT GETS DONE AND YOU'D BE THE

JOCK WHO KEEPS SAYING, "FLIP A COIN TO SEE WHOSE NAME GOES ON

TOP FIRST? IT'S ONLY FAIR."

FORMER VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN SAID YESTERDAY HE WILL CHOOSE

HIS RUNNING MATE NEXT WEEK AND THIS SHOULD MAKE PENCE

NERVOUS, SO DID TRUMP. ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT,

RUSSIAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES ARE USING THREE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

WEBSITES TO SPREAD FALSE INFORMATION ABOUT CORONAVIRUS IN

THE U. S. IT'S FACEBOOK, TWITTER AND

WHITEHOUSE.GOV PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID IN AN

INTERVIEW YESTERDAY THAT HE HAS NEVER CONFRONTED RUSSIAN

PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN WITH INTELLIGENCE, INDICATING HIS

SECURITY SERVICES PAID THE TALIBAN TO KILL U. S. TROOPS AND

ADDED, QUOTE, "IF IT HAD REACHED MY DESK, I WOULD HAVE DONE

SOMETHING ABOUT IT." WELL, DID YOU EVER THINK MAYBE

THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ROOM ON YOUR DESK

"SIR, WE'D HAVE SOMETHING WE'D LIKE TO GET ON YOUR DESK

IMMEDIATELY. "THERE'S A BIT OF A ‐‐ BIT OF A

BEAN JAM RIGHT NOW LITTLE BACK‐UP ON THE BEAN

PRODUCTS, SO MAYBE NEXT WEEK STOP BACK AND I'LL SEE IF I CAN

WORK THROUGH THE BEANS." SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS

INTRODUCED A BILL YESTERDAY TO PROVIDE A REUSABLE MASK FOR

EVERY AMERICAN SAID BERNIE, "AND HERE IT IS,

EVERYBODY GETS IT FOR 15 MINUTES

WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH IT, WASH IT, GIVE IT TO THE NEXT PERSON."

BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE DONE A BERNIE AND I THINK THE

IMPRESSION MAYBE SUFFERED A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE OF THAT

A BREWERY CALLED THE BALLISTIC BEER COMPANY ANNOUNCED THAT IT

HAS RECALLED THEIR TWANG BRAMBLEBERRY SOUR BEER FROM

STORES BECAUSE CANS OF IT WERE EXPLODING AND BECAUSE WHITE

PEOPLE IN BROOKLYN WERE NAMING THEIR BABIES AFTER IT.

"TWANG BRAMBLEBERRY, IT IS NOT YOUR TURN ON THE SWINGS.

TWANG ‐‐ TWANG ‐ [ LAUGHTER ]

TWANG BRAMBLEBERRY SOUR. TWANG BRAMBLEBERRY SOUR, YOU

COME RIGHT HERE. ACCORDING TO A ‐

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] TBS.

ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, THE DRUGSTORE CHAIN RITE AID ADDED

FACIAL RECOGNITION SYSTEMS TO 200 STORES ACROSS THE COUNTRY

OVER THE LAST EIGHT YEARS. INCIDENTALLY, EIGHT YEARS AGO

WAS THE LAST TIME SOMEONE SPOTTED A RITE AID EMPLOYEE.

"HELLO HELLO, ANYONE?

SOMEONE UNLOCK THE RAZORS? PRODUCERS HAVE ANNOUNCED THAT

"WHEEL OF FORTUNE" WILL RESUME PRODUCTION WITH A REDESIGNED

WHEEL THAT ENSURES CONTESTANTS ARE SIX FEET APART

AND ON "THE PRICE IS RIGHT," THEY MADE DREW CAREY'S

MICROPHONE EVEN LONGER FINALLY, ACCORDING TO A NEW

STUDY, PEOPLE OVER SIX FEET TALL ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET THE

CORONAVIRUS. "THAT'S A RELIEF," SAID EVERY

MAN ON TINDER WHO'S BEEN LYING ABOUT HIS HEIGHT

AND THAT, YOU GUYS, IS A MONOLOGUE.

WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

I'LL BE TALKING TO DAVID SCHWIMMER ABOUT HIS NEW

COMEDY ON PEACOCK. AND OUR FRIEND, ROBIN THEDE WILL

BE HERE. SHE CREATED "A BLACK LADY SKETCH

SHOW." AND YESTERDAY, GOT THREE EMMY

NOMINATIONS. I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK TO ROBIN.

BUT FIRST, "A CLOSER LOOK. HELLO, EVERYONE.

AND WELCOME BACK TO THE CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS

I'VE NOW BEEN TRAPPED INSIDE WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE SINCE MARCH.

AND AS SOME OF YOU HAVE NOTICED, I'VE GONE A LITTLE INSANE.

WEIRD THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING TO MY HAIR

I BEFRIENDED THE WASPS IN MY ATTIC.

AND FOR SOME REASON, I EVEN WENT ON A LENGTHY AND IRRELEVANT RANT

ABOUT A 20‐ YEAR‐OLD TV SHOW FOR TEENS, "DAWSON'S CREEK."

>> YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, SETH. A CREEK IS JUST A TINY OCEAN

>> Seth: WHO WOULD SAY THAT AND WHY?

OH, RIGHT, I'VE ALSO BECOME FRIENDS WITH A TALKING PAINTING.

AND BY THE WAY I'M AWARE THAT THE SEA CAPTAIN CHARACTER HAS

BEEN DIVISIVE. SOME OF YOU LOVE HIM

SOME OF YOU HATE HIM, DAD. SOME OF YOU ARE JUST CONFUSED AS

TO WHY WE'VE CHOSEN TO INVEST SO MUCH OF OUR TIME AND ENERGY INTO

THIS BIT SO WE HAVE DECIDED TO SETTLE

THIS DEBATE ONCE AND FOR ALL WITH A POLL. SHOULD WE KEEP THE

SEA CAPTAIN? YES OR NO.

TO VOTE, JUST LOG ON TO WWW.GOOGLE.COM, TYPE IN SEA

CAPTAIN, BUT DON'T CLICK SEARCH. TAKE A SCREEN SHOT, PRINT IT

OUT, WRITE YES OR NO ON IT WITH A SHARPIE, AND THEN MAIL IT TO

WHEREVER YOUR BEST GUESS IS FOR THE ADDRESS I'M FILMING THE SHOW

AT WE WILL REVEAL THE POLL RESULTS

AT THE END OF THE SUMMER >> THE ONLY POLE I'M INTERESTED

IN IS A FISHING POLE >> Seth: JOKES LIKE THAT AREN'T

HELPING YOUR CHANCES OF STICKING AROUND, SEA CAPTAIN.

>> OKAY. >> Seth: SPEAKING OF PSYCHOSIS,

PRESIDENT TRUMP AND HIS ALLIES IN THE RIGHT WING MEDIA ARE ONCE

AGAIN AMPLIFYING AN UNHINGED VIRAL VIDEO LYING ABOUT THE

CORONAVIRUS. FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR "A CLOSER LOOK."

♪ >> Seth: AS THE CORONAVIRUS

PANDEMIC HAS SPREAD OUT OF CONTROL, SO HAS MISINFORMATION

ABOUT IT IF YOU HAVE FACEBOOK, OR AN

UNCLE WHO STILL WEARS HIS CLASS RING, YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD SOME

OF IT. I'M PRETTY SURE WE'VE ALL GOTTEN

AT LEAST ONE EMAIL FROM A RELATIVE DURING THIS WHOLE THING

WITH THE SUBJECT LINE LIKE, "FORWARD, FORWARD, FORWARD,

CORONAVIRUS CAN BE CURED BY SWALLOWING A CANDLE AND STICKING

GARLIC UP YOUR BUTT. WHEN WE ALL KNOW THAT SWALLOWING

A CANDLE AND STICKING GARLIC UP YOUR BUTT IS NUMBER THREE ON

GOOP'S TOP TEN WAYS TO RELAX ON A JOB INTERVIEW.

AND IT WON'T SHOCK YOU TO LEARN THAT A LOT OF THE MISINFORMATION

CAN BE FOUND ON FACEBOOK, THE WEBSITE YOU SIGNED UP FOR JUST

TO SEE IF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH GOT MARRIED TO THAT SON OF A

BITCH, JEFF. WELL, A, THEY DID.

AND B, THEY ALSO WENT CRAZY. A REPORT IN APRIL COLLECTED SOME

OF THE MOST POPULAR CORONAVIRUS MYTHS CIRCULATING ON FACEBOOK.

SOME EXAMPLES INCLUDE CORONAVIRUS CAN BE DESTROYED BY

CHLORINE DIOXIDE. OREGANO OIL PROVES EFFECTIVE

AGAINST CORONAVIRUS. THERE WAS A POST CLAIMING YOU

CAN HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR TEN SECONDS TO TEST YOURSELF FOR

CORONAVIRUS. AND ANOTHER ALLEGING THAT

SOMEONE NAMED DR. MARIO PESARESI HAD REVEALED THAT INHALING STEAM

IS A NATURAL REMEDY FOR CORONAVIRUS.

WELL, IF STEAM CURES DISEASE, THAT WOULD FINALLY EXPLAIN WHY

ALL NEW YORKERS ON SUBWAYS LOOK SO HALE AND HEARTY

THE L TRAIN IS MORE RESTORATIVE THAN AN ICELANDIC SPA.

SECOND, I DON'T KNOW WHO DR. MARIO PESARESI IS, BUT HE

SOUNDS LIKE A DOCTOR PAULIE WALNUTS WOULD BE FRIENDS

WITH ON "THE SOPRANOS. "WHAT'S THAT SMELL?"

"OH, THAT'S ME, TON. DR. PESARESI TOLD ME IF I PUT

PROVOLONE IN MY PANTS, IT WOULD CURE MY YOU‐ KNOW‐WHAT."

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT." "I GOT A GENITAL DISCHARGE."

"OH, WE'RE EATING HERE!" BY THE WAY, IF YOU'RE OFFENDED,

YOU SHOULD KNOW THE WRITER WHO WROTE THAT IS ITALIAN‐AMERICAN

>> OH, ITALY, THE NEW JERSEY OF EUROPE

>> Seth: SO IS THE WRITER WHO WROTE THAT

MUAHH. NOW, YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD SOME

OF THE MORE INFAMOUS AND LUDICROUS CONSPIRACY THEORIES

LIKE THE IDEA THAT 5G MOBILE TOWERS ARE SPREADING CORONAVIRUS

OR THAT IT WAS CREATED BY BILL GATES AS A WAY TO IMPLANT

CHIPS INTO PEOPLE THROUGH VACCINES

UNFORTUNATELY, THESE IDEAS AREN'T JUST CONFINED TO DARK

CORNERS OF THE INTERNET. THEY OFTEN MAKE THEIR WAY INTO

THE REAL WORLD AS WE SAW IN APRIL WHEN RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY

THEORIST ALEX JONES SHOWED UP TO AN ANTI‐LOCKDOWN PROTEST IN

TEXAS. YOU REMEMBER ALEX JONES, THE GUY

WHO ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRYING TO HULK OUT BUT CAN'T

I THINK BECAUSE INSTEAD OF GAMMA RAYS HE WAS HIT BY HAMA RAYS

>> I LIKE IT >> Seth: JONES LED THE CROWD IN CHANTS OF "ARREST BILL GATES."

>> ARREST BILL GATES ARREST BILL GATES.

ARREST BILL GATES. >> Seth: THE ONLY POLICE WHO

SHOULD ARREST BILL GATES ARE THE FASHION POLICE

"BILL, WHY CAN'T YOU FIND A TIE THAT GOES DOWN TO YOUR WAIST

YOU LOOK LIKE THE ASSISTANT MANAGER AT A GAME STOP

YOU AND TRUMP NEED TO SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE

YOU'RE AN I. T. BILLIONAIRE STOP DRESSING LIKE AN I. T. GUY."

AND THEN THERE ARE THE VIRAL VIDEOS, WHICH MIGHT SEEM AT

FIRST GLANCE TO COME FROM REPUTABLE MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS,

REPEATING SOME OF THE WILDEST DEBUNKED CONSPIRACY THEORIES

ABOUT THE ORIGINS OR EFFECTS OF COVID‐19

LIKE THAT INFAMOUS "PLANDEMIC" VIDEO, FEATURING SYOSSET

STEVIE NICKS, A PERSON WHO CLAIMS, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THAT

MASKS CAN SOMEHOW "ACTIVATE" CORONAVIRUS, THAT BEACHES

SHOULDN'T BE CLOSED BECAUSE THEY HAVE RESTORATIVE PROPERTIES THAT

CURE DISEASES, AND THAT DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, THE NATION'S

TOP EXPERT ON INFECTIOUS DISEASES, WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR

THE CREATION OF THE CORONAVIRUS WHICH IS RIDICULOUS FOR MANY

REASONS. I MEAN, IF THE GUY COULD CREATE

A HIGHLY INFECTIOUS VIRUS IN A LAB AS PART OF A SECRET PLOT TO

SELL A MONEY‐MAKING VACCINE, DON'T YOU THINK HE COULD ALSO

LEARN HOW TO THROW A BASEBALL? AND THEN THERE WERE THOSE TWO

URGENT CARE DOCTORS FROM BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA, WHO

FALSELY CLAIMED IN A VIRAL YOUTUBE VIDEO THAT THE VIRUS

JUST WASN'T AS DEADLY AS MOST OTHER EXPERTS BELIEVED

THEY BASED THAT CLAIM ON SOME EXTREMELY FAULTY DATA, WHICH

THEY ARRIVED AT THROUGH SOME TRULY TERRIBLE MATH.

BASICALLY, THEY CLAIMED THAT A LOT MORE PEOPLE IN CALIFORNIA

HAD BEEN INFECTED WITH THE CORONAVIRUS, WHICH WOULD MAKE

THE PERCENTAGE OF CASES THAT RESULT IN DEATH A LOT SMALLER.

AND THEY ARRIVED AT THAT CONCLUSION, IN PART, BY TAKING

THE RATE OF POSITIVE TESTS AT THE CLINICS THEY OWN AND JUST

EXTRAPOLATING THAT RATE TO THE ENTIRE CALIFORNIA POPULATION,

WHICH MAKES NO SENSE THE PEOPLE WHO WALK INTO AN

URGENT CARE CLINIC BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY MIGHT BE SICK AREN'T

A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE OF THE ENTIRE POPULATION.

I MEAN, I KNOW I'VE DEFINITELY GONE TO URGENT CARE LIKE FOUR OR

FIVE TIMES TO ASK THEM ABOUT A WEIRD RASH AND BEEN TOLD IT'S

JUST NEW YORK SKIN COULD BE BEDBUGS

COULD BE A RAT BITE. COULD BE HEAT RASH FROM HAVING

YOUR RADIATOR STUCK ON HIGH ALL WINTER

COULD BE RADIATION FROM A COCKROACH IN YOUR KITCHEN

SMOKING A CIGARETTE. "I'M YOUR NEW ROOMMATE

AND NO, I WON'T WEAR A MASK. WE NEED TO GET ORGANIC SOAPS."

AS ONE BIOLOGIST ‐‐ "I'M SORRY I DRAW THE LINE AT SOAPS."

AS ONE BIOLOGIST WHO SPECIALIZES IN INFECTIOUS DISEASE MODELING

PUT IT, THE DOCTORS' METHOD WAS A BIT LIKE ESTIMATING THE

AVERAGE HEIGHT OF AMERICANS FROM THE PLAYERS ON AN NBA COURT

WHICH IS RIDICULOUS. YOU CAN'T ESTIMATE THE AVERAGE

HEIGHT OF AMERICANS FROM THE PLAYERS ON AN NBA COURT.

HOWEVER, YOU CAN ESTIMATE THE AVERAGE BASKETBALL SKILL LEVEL

OF AMERICANS FROM THE PLAYERS ON THE KNICKS

AND BOTH OF THESE CASES, THOSE VIDEOS ARE NOT JUST SEEN BY

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE BEFORE BEING TAKEN DOWN, THEY WERE ALSO

AMPLIFIED BY RIGHT‐WING MEDIA. THE SINCLAIR BROADCAST GROUP HAD

PLANNED TO AIR AN INTERVIEW WITH THE STAR OF "PLANDEMIC" THIS

PAST WEEKEND UNTIL IT BACKED DOWN AFTER AN OUTCRY

ALTHOUGH, EVEN IN THEIR STATEMENT WITHDRAWING THE

SEGMENT, THEY ALSO SEEMED TO DEFEND THEIR INITIAL DECISION A

LITTLE, WRITING, "WE'RE A SUPPORTER OF FREE SPEECH AND A

MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS AND VIEWPOINTS, EVEN IF INCREDIBLY

CONTROVERSIAL. THAT'S NOT A JUSTIFICATION FOR

JUST SAYING WHATEVER YOU WANT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES

YOU GUYS LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THE MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS, BUT ACTUAL

MARKETPLACES ARE ALSO FREE TO IMPOSE THEIR OWN RULES

BECAUSE IF YOU JUST LET EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING INTO THE

MARKETPLACE, YOU GET ETSY. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARK.

"OH, A DREAM CATCHER MADE OF OLD FRESCA CANS, YOU SHOULDN'T

HAVE." AND I'M NOT SAYING FREE SPEECH

SHOULD BE REGULATED BY THE GOVERNMENT, BUT WE CAN DO THINGS

LIKE SAY BREAK UP BIG TECH COMPANIES SO THEY DON'T HAVE SO

MUCH MONOPOLY POWER. ALSO, A MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS,

JUST LIKE A MARKETPLACE OF GOODS, SHOULD BE RESPONSIVE TO

CRITICISM. IN A REAL MARKETPLACE, YOU CAN'T

JUST OPEN A STORE CALLED "ARSENIC‐FIL‐A" OR "TOYS R US

AND US TOYS R KNIVES" AND THEN SAY, "YOU CAN'T CRITICIZE ME

IT'S THE FREE MARKET." DANGEROUS MISINFORMATION LIKE

THIS HAS BEEN SURGING DURING THE PANDEMIC, OFTEN WITH THE HELP OF

PROMINENT FIGURES ON THE RIGHT THE LATEST EXAMPLE IS A FACEBOOK

VIDEO STAGED AND FUNDED BY A RIGHT‐WING DARK MONEY GROUPS

THE VIDEO, WHICH WAS VIEWED BY OVER 20 MILLION PEOPLE BEFORE

BEING TAKEN DOWN, CLAIMED YOU DON'T NEED TO WEAR A MASK

BECAUSE THE ANTI‐MALARIA DRUG HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE IS A CURE FOR

CORONAVIRUS, EVEN THOUGH IT'S BEEN REPEATEDLY DISPROVEN BY

STUDY AFTER STUDY. JUST LAST WEEK, THERE WAS YET

ANOTHER STUDY, PUBLISHED IN "THE NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE"

WHICH FOUND THAT HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE DOES NOT HELP

COVID‐ 19 PATIENTS NO DRUG HAS BEEN STUDIED THIS

MUCH ‐ "SINCE THOSE TROUBLEMAKERS AT

PSI U CONDUCTED AN EXPERIMENT TO SEE WHICH STRAIN OF MARIJUANA

MAKES DORITOS TASTE BETTER I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, GENTLEMEN,

YOU'VE ALL FLUNKED OUT." AND BELIEVE ME, WE ALL WISH

HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE ACTUALLY WORKED

WE WISH EVERYTHING WORKED. EVERYONE WISHES THERE WAS A CURE

FOR CORONAVIRUS. NO ONE WANTS TO BE TRAPPED

INSIDE FOR THIS LONG IF HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE REALLY

WORKED, I'D TAKE AN UBER POOL TO TIMES SQUARE TO GET COUGHED ON

BY A TOURIST JUST FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE

OH, TIMES SQUARE WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD CAN YOU

GET M&Ms I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FIRST IN LINE

AT MY LOCAL BODEGA ORDERING A BACON, EGG AND CHEESE.

WELL, NO, WITH MY LUCK, I'D BE SECOND IN LINE BEHIND A

CONSTRUCTION WORKER PLACING AN ORDER FOR HIS ENTIRE CREW.

"ON THE FIFTH SANDWICH, I NEED PEPPER AND LIGHT HOT SAUCE."

I MISS YOU, FRIEND I HAVE CURSED YOU UNDER MY

BREATH, BUT I DO MISS YOU NOW. BUT ALL THE STUDIES TELL US

HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE DOESN'T WORK AND PUSHING IT IS DANGEROUS,

ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY NEED IT FOR

CONDITIONS LIKE LUPUS. AFTER THE PRESIDENT BEGAN

TOUTING HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE FOR CORONAVIRUS EARLIER THIS YEAR,

LUPUS PATIENTS STRUGGLED TO GET IT WITH ONE TELLING "USA TODAY"

THAT BECAUSE SHE WAS UNABLE TO FILL HER PRESCRIPTION, SHE IS

RATIONING HER PILLS, TAKING A HALF‐PILL EVERY DAY, A QUARTER

OF HER NORMAL DOSAGE THAT'S HORRIBLE.

LUPUS PATIENTS BASICALLY HAVE TO MICRODOSE A LIFE‐SAVING

MEDICATION THE SAME WAY YOUR RECENTLY DIVORCED AUNT

MICRODOSES LSD "IF I TAKE THE RIGHT AMOUNT,

IT'S ALMOST LIKE STEVE NEVER EXISTED IN THIS UNIVERSE."

AND YET, BECAUSE THEY'VE FAILED ON THE PANDEMIC RESPONSE, AND

BECAUSE THEY'RE DESPERATE FOR A MAGIC FIX THAT WILL MAKE THE

CRISIS GO AWAY, PROMINENT FIGURES ON THE RIGHT ARE NOW

PUSHING THE DISCREDITED HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE VIDEO

THE PRESIDENT'S SON, DON JR., HAD HIS TWITTER ACCOUNT

PARTIALLY LOCKED FOR 12 HOURS AFTER TWEETING THE VIDEO TO HIS

FIVE MILLION FOLLOWERS AND THEN LAST NIGHT, HE WENT ON FOX NEWS TO COMPLAIN

>> NOW, TWITTER TAKES ME DOWN FOR

THAT BUT TWITTER HAS NO PROBLEM SAYING THAT CORONAVIRUS

DISINFORMATION SPREAD BY THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT

VIOLATE THEIR RULES. THAT'S INTERESTING

JAKE TAPPER HIMSELF, A FEW WEEKS AGO, POSTED, "STUDY FINDS

HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE HELPED CORONAVIRUS PATIENTS SURVIVE

BETTER." NOW, WHY IS JAKE TAPPER NOT

SPREADING MISINFORMATION BUT I SOMEHOW AM

>> Seth: IT'S FUN WHEN A DUMB GUY BRINGS PRINTOUTS TO AN

INTERVIEW. IT'S LIKE WHEN THE JOCK ON

CAMPUS CARRIES AROUND A BOOK TO IMPRESS GIRLS.

"OH, THIS? YEAH, I WAS JUST READING ABOUT

MY FAVORITE AUTHOR, ERNEST HEMINGWAY

HE WENT TO JAIL. THEY MADE A MOVIE ABOUT IT."

OH, WAIT, WAIT I'M SORRY.

WHAT'S ON ONE OF THOSE PRINTOUTS?

OH, MAN. >> WHAT IS IT?

I CAN'T SEE. >> Seth: NOTHING

AND BY THE WAY, THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A JOURNALIST

TWEETING A LINK TO A NEWS STORY AND WHAT YOU TWEETED OUT

AT LEAST HE TWEETED A LINK TO A REPUTABLE NEWS ORGANIZATION

REPORTING ON A STUDY THAT PUT THE FINDINGS IN PROPER CONTEXT

AND USED CAUTIOUS LANGUAGE WHEREAS YOU JUST TWEETED OUT A

VIDEO FUNDED BY A RIGHT WING DARK MONEY GROUP WITH A DOCTOR

CALLING HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE A, QUOTE, "CURE FOR CORONAVIRUS."

A DOCTOR, BY THE WAY, WHO ALSO CLAIMS THAT GYNECOLOGICAL

PROBLEMS ARE, IN FACT, CAUSED BY PEOPLE HAVING SEX IN THEIR

DREAMS WITH DEMONS AND WITCHES, THAT ALIEN DNA IS CURRENTLY USED

IN MEDICAL TREATMENTS AND SCIENTISTS ARE COOKING UP A

VACCINE TO PREVENT PEOPLE FROM BEING RELIGIOUS AND THAT THE

GOVERNMENT IS RUN IN PART NOT BY HUMANS BUT BY REPTILES AND OTHER

ALIENS "HEY, TON, I FIGURED OUT WHERE

THAT DISCHARGE CAME FROM I HAD DREAM SEX WITH A DEMON."

"OH! WE'RE STILL EATING HERE.

DEMON SPERM SOUNDS LIKE A CATCHPHRASE ON "CHURCH CHAT:

AFTER DARK." "LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR THROBBING

LOINS AND PULSATING BUTTOCKS IS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE INFECTED

WITH, COULD IT BE, DEMON SPERM?" SIDE NOTE.

I'M VERY CLOSE TO HAVING EARLY 1990s DANA CARVEY HAIR ALTHOUGH

I'M EVEN CLOSER TO DENNIS MILLER.

OH, MAN. HAVE THOSE '90s MILLER LOCKS

THAT'S THE DREAM >> BACK TO THE LOOK, JOCKO

>> Seth: SEE HE SERVES A PURPOSE.

ALSO, IF THEY WERE REALLY USING DNA IN TREATMENTS, TRUMP

DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE ASKED FAUCI ABOUT IT

"FAUCI, JUST SPITBALLING HERE. WHAT IF WE CAUGHT AN ALIEN AND

JUST LET IT ATTACH ITSELF TO YOUR FACE?

YOU KNOW, LIKE A BIG HAND? I'M HEARING VERY GOOD THINGS

FROM MY FRIENDS AT THE WEYLAND‐YUTANI CORPORATION,

FAUCI. SERIOUSLY, DOES SHE ACTUALLY

PRACTICE MEDICINE? FILLING OUT THOSE INSURANCE

FORMS MUST BE A NIGHTMARE. HAVE YOU RECENTLY, ONE, TRAVELED

ABROAD, TWO, VISITED A FARM, THREE, BONED A DEMON

SERIOUSLY, WHO ON EARTH COULD POSSIBLY TRUST A DOCTOR LIKE

THIS OH, GOD. WHY'D I ASK?

>> THERE WAS A ‐‐ A WOMAN WHO WAS

SPECTACULAR IN HER STATEMENTS ABOUT IT, THAT SHE'S HAD

TREMENDOUS SUCCESS WITH IT AND THEY TOOK HER ‐‐ THEY TOOK

HER VOICE OFF. I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY TOOK HER

OFF BUT THEY TOOK HER OFF. I CAN TELL YOU THIS.

SHE WAS ON AIR, ALONG WITH MANY OTHER DOCTORS.

THEY WERE BIG FANS OF HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE

AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE

I WAS VERY IMPRESSED WITH HER AND OTHER DOCTORS THAT STOOD

WITH HER I THINK SHE MADE SENSE

>> Seth: COOL, SO, TRUMP WON'T LISTEN TO THE RENOWNED

INFECTIOUS DISEASE EXPERT WHO ACTUALLY WORKS FOR HIM BUT HE

LOVES THE DEMON SPERM LADY WAS HE LIKE THIS WHEN HE LIVED

IN NEW YORK? BECAUSE NEW YORK IS FILLED WITH

PEOPLE LIKE THIS IF YOU GO TO A COMMUNITY BOARD

MEETING, THERE'S ALWAYS AT LEAST ONE DEMON SPERM GUY.

THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW THE MEETING IS ENDING.

"ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE MORE ISSUE

YES, YOU, SIR? "YEAH, I GOT A QUESTION.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THE DEMON SPERM ON THE STATUE IN

THE PARK?" "SIR, FOR THE LAST TIME, THAT'S

PIGEON POOP. "THAT'S WHAT AZAZEL WANTS YOU TO

THINK. "WE'RE ADJOURNED."

ALTHOUGH, I GUESS TRUMP IS USED TO HEARING CRAZY STUFF FROM

DOCTORS SINCE THIS GUY WAS HIS DOCTOR

"HEY, MAN, YOU WANT TO TRY THIS ALIEN VACCINE I'VE BEEN WORKING

ON IT'S HERE SOMEWHERE.

SOY SAUCE PACKET, SOY SAUCE PACKET, HONEY MUSTARD.

HERE WE ARE, COCAINE OH, DID I SAY VACCINE?

I MEANT COCAINE. DANGEROUS CORONAVIRUS

MISINFORMATION IS SURGING ON SOCIAL MEDIA

AND IT'S BEING AMPLIFIED BY THE PRESIDENT AND HIS BACKERS

BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEIR RESPONSE TO THE PANDEMIC HAS BEEN A

COLOSSAL FAILURE JUST STEP BACK AND CONSIDER HOW

INSANE THIS IS THE PRESIDENT CAN'T BE BOTHERED

TO FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT ACTUALLY WORK, LIKE TESTING,

CONTACT TRACING, ISOLATION OR MASK‐WEARING, BUT IF A CRAZY

PERSON POSTS A VIDEO CLAIMING LIZARD PEOPLE ARE MAKING ALIEN VACCINES, HIS RESPONSE IS ‐‐

>> THAT'S INTERESTING. >> Seth: "THAT'S THE LOOK,

FOLKS. AND I AM OUT OF HERE."

♪ SO MANY NEW YORKERS ARE TURNING

TO CITY HARVEST FOR HELP FEEDING THEIR FAMILIES AND THEY NEED

YOUR SUPPORT NOW MORE THAN EVER. THERE'S A WEBSITE BELOW TO

DONATE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH

DAVID SCHWIMMER. ♪

♪ >> FOR MORE OF SETH'S "CLOSER

LOOKS," BE SURE SUBSCRIBE TO "LATE NIGHT" ON YOUTUBE.

>> Seth: OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN EMMY‐NOMINATED ACTOR YOU

KNOW FROM HIS WORK IN "AMERICAN CRIME STORY," "BAND OF

BROTHERS," AND OF COURSE "FRIENDS."

HE STARS IN THE NEW COMEDY SERIES "INTELLIGENCE" WHICH IS

CURRENTLY STREAMING ON PEACOCK HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH DAVID SCHWIMMER.

HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M GOOD.

HOW ARE YOU, SETH? >> Seth: I'M DOING VERY WELL

CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW SHOW. I'M VERY JEALOUS

I FEEL LIKE FOR A LONG TIME MY DREAM WAS TO SHOOT A COMEDY IN

ENGLAND AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.

>> YEAH. I FEEL REALLY, REALLY BLESSED,

ACTUALLY IT'S A LOT OF FUN TO WORK IN ‐‐

IN THE UK. >> Seth: AND YOU ‐‐ DID YOU KNOW

THE CREATOR OF THIS SHOW HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED IN THE

FIRST PLACE? >> YEAH, HE'S A BUDDY OF MINE,

NICK MOHAMMED. YOU KNOW, HE AND THIS OTHER

WRITER AND ACTOR, JULIA DAVIS, HAD CREATED A SHOW THAT THEY

WERE THINKING ABOUT ADDING AN AMERICAN CHARACTER TO.

THIS WAS A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO SO I WENT OUT TO LONDON TO DO

ABOUT A WEEK OF IMPROV WITH THEM AND JUST KIND OF FIND THAT

CHARACTER AND FIND WHO THIS GUY WOULD BE

WE DISCOVERED A REALLY FUN DYNAMIC BETWEEN NICK AND I OF

KIND OF A DIFFERENCE IN STATUS, OF POWER

AND I GUESS NICK REALLY LOVED THAT DYNAMIC

AND WE HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME WORKING TOGETHER THAT ABOUT A

YEAR LATER HE JUST EMAILED ME THIS IDEA.

AND I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS ‐‐ I WAS JUST SO TICKLED BY THE IDEA

OF A WORKPLACE COMEDY SET IN THE HIGH‐STAKES WORLD OF NATIONAL

SECURITY AND CYBER TERRORISM THAT I ‐‐ AND THIS GUY WHO'S

SUCH A POMPOUS AMERICAN BLOWHARD

I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A REALLY FUN OPPORTUNITY.

SO ‐ >> Seth: IT DOES SEEM LIKE A

CHARACTER THAT YOU SINK YOUR TEETH INTO

DID YOU KNOW FROM THE EARLY CREATION OF THE CHARACTER OR THE

FACT THAT IT WAS THIS WORKPLACE INTELLIGENCE COMEDY THAT YOU

WANTED TO BE THE BRASH SORT OF BLOWHARDY AMERICAN CHARACTER

>> THAT'S KIND OF WHO HE WAS FROM THE OFFSET.

AND WE WORKED ON IT THEN TOGETHER FOR ABOUT A YEAR, YEAR

AND A HALF, TRYING TO FIND ‐‐ TRYING TO FIND THIS GUY WHO, TO

ME, IS INSPIRED FROM A LOT OF MEN IN POWER IN OUR ‐‐

>> Seth: YEAH. >> IN OUR COUNTRY, AND PROBABLY

HIS. THIS, YOU KNOW ‐‐ THIS MOSTLY

IGNORANT NARCISSIST AND CASUALLY ‐‐ CASUALLY SEXIST AND

RACIST AND HOMOPHOBIC AND ‐‐ AND VERY PATRIOTIC, MOSTLY BECAUSE

HE'S NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE UNITED STATES IN HIS LIFE.

>> Seth: RIGHT WERE YOU ‐‐ YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY

WE BOTH HAVE BACKGROUNDS AS IMPROVISERS BUT I HAVEN'T DONE

IT FOR SO LONG I THINK I WOULD BE A LITTLE

TERRIFIED IF SOMEBODY SAID, "HEY, LET'S GO ‐‐

LET'S IMPROVISE. DID YOU ‐‐ WAS IT ALL ‐‐ DID IT

ALL COME BACK TO YOU, OR WAS IT SCARY?

>> IT WAS ‐‐ IT WASN'T SCARY, BUT I ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I ‐‐ I KNOW

YOUR BACKGROUND OF IMPROV AND BOOM CHICAGO AND EVERYTHING.

BUT ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I LEARNED EARLY ON FROM WHEN I WAS IN AN IMPROV

GROUP WITH COLBERT THAT I ‐‐ HE JUST OUTCLASSED ME

YOU KNOW SO, I ‐‐ I KIND OF APPROACH IT

WHEN I'M IN ‐‐ I THINK IT'S A LITTLE ‐‐ I APPROACH IT MORE

LIKE AN ACTOR IN CHARACTER AS LONG AS I'VE GOT A REALLY

SOLID CHARACTER AND KIND OF AN IDEA OF WHAT THE SCENE'S ABOUT,

I FEEL PERMISSION TO IMPROV. AND NICK IS SO GOOD.

HE'S AS GOOD AS YOU AND COLBERT AT IT.

SO I FEEL LIKE HE CARRIED ME, PRETTY MUCH.

>> Seth: YOU ‐‐ SO YOU BROUGHT UP COLBERT, NOW I NEED TO SAY

IT COLBERT, YOU, MYSELF, OUR OTHER

GUEST TONIGHT, ROBIN THEDE, ALL GRADUATES OF NORTHWESTERN

UNIVERSITY >> YEAH.

>> Seth: I KNOW WE TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE, YOU SPOKE AT MY

GRADUATION AND I KNOW THAT'S LIKE ‐‐

THERE'S A GOOD AND BAD TO THAT 'CAUSE ONE, I FEEL LIKE I'M ‐‐

I'M AGE SHAMING YOU. BUT TWO ‐‐

>> YOU ARE YOU ARE.

THANK YOU FOR THAT THANKS

>> Seth: THE BEST COMMENCEMENT SPEECH I'VE EVER ‐‐ I MEAN I

HAVEN'T HEARD THAT MANY, BUT IT WAS OUTSTANDING.

>> THANK YOU >> Seth: THEN ‐‐ SO RIGHT OUT OF

COLLEGE, DID YOU ‐‐ I KNOW LOOKINGGLASS, YOUR THEATER

COMPANY IN CHICAGO, WAS THAT RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE THAT YOU

STARTED THAT >> YEAH, WE STARTED UPON

GRADUATION, ACTUALLY, FROM NORTHWESTERN

MAYBE BECAUSE WE JUST DIDN'T WANT ‐‐ WE WERE TOO SCARED TO

ENTER THE REAL WORLD BUT, YEAH, WE ‐‐ WE REALLY WERE

HUNGRY AND DETERMINED TO START OUR OWN COMPANY.

WE HAD BEEN DIRECTING EACH OTHER IN ‐‐ THROUGHOUT, YOU KNOW, OUR

YEARS AT NORTHWESTERN. AND THEN I STARTED TO BOUNCE

BACK BETWEEN AUDITIONING FOR TV AND FILM IN L. A.

AND COMMUTING TO CHICAGO SO I GO BACK AND FORTH TO DO

THEATER IN CHICAGO WITH MY COMPANY AND TRY TO ‐‐

TRY TO CLIMB THE, YOU KNOW, THE HOLLYWOOD, YOU KNOW, RUNGS, AS

IT WERE, THE LADDER, TO TRY TO EKE OUT A CAREER IN TV AND FILM

AS WELL. >> Seth: IT'S FUNNY.

YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY, YOU KNOW, I THINK, LIKE EVERYBODY IN THAT

CAST, YOU CAME TO PROMINENCE ON "FRIENDS."

I DID NOT REALIZE YOU WERE ON ANOTHER ICONIC SHOW.

I DID NOT REALIZE UNTIL TODAY THAT YOU WERE ON "THE WONDER

YEARS. >> OH, YEAH.

>> Seth: AND BASED ON THIS PHOTO, A VERY DIFFERENT

CHARACTER THAN ROSS. >> I WAS PLAYING THIS ‐‐ THIS

KIND OF HIPPIE ‐‐ NOT HIPPIE, BUT MORE LIKE A WANDERING

CONSTRUCTION KIND OF GUY AND ‐‐ WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH

OLIVIA dABO'S CHARACTER, YOU KNOW, THE SISTER

AND THAT WAS MY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO TV, REALLY

I MEAN, THAT WAS MY FIRST REAL BREAK.

AND I CAN TELL YOU, THE FIRST ‐‐ ACTUALLY, MY FIRST REAL SCENE ON

CAMERA ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I COME FROM THEATER SO

I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING, RIGHT?

I JUST THOUGHT, "OKAY, WE ALL REHEARSE THIS BIG DINNER SCENE."

ACTUALLY, ABOUT FIVE OF US SAT AT THE TABLE

AND WE REHEARSED, AND I FELT KIND OF NERVOUS.

I'M STEPPING INTO THIS BIG CAST, THIS HUGE SHOW

AND THEY SHOOT ‐‐ THEY SHOOT FRED FIRST

THEY SHOOT HIM BECAUSE HE HAD TO GO TO SCHOOL AFTER HIS ‐

[ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: RIGHT, OF COURSE.

>> SO, THEY SHOT HIM OUT AND THEN THEY SHOOT EVERYONE

ELSE OUT AND I'M LAST

AND WHEN I'M FINALLY ON CAMERA, I'M ACTING ACROSS A PIECE OF

TAPE THAT THEY PUT NEXT TO THE CAMERA BOX

[ LAUGHTER ] AND SOME OLDER SCRIPT SUPERVISOR

KIND OF READING THE LINES. AND I'M LIKE, "OH MY GOD

THIS IS MY INTRO I'M JUST ACTING WITH A PIECE OF

TAPE." ANYWAY, IT WAS ‐‐ IT WAS BAPTISM

BY FIRE, I GUESS, BUT YOU KNOW >> Seth: I THINK THE OTHER WEIRD

THING THAT HAPPENS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU'RE ON TELEVISION ‐‐ MY

FIRST TIME, I WAS AT A VERY SMALL ROLE IN AN EPISODE OF

"SPIN CITY." PEOPLE AT HOME, THEY SEE YOU AND

THEY ASSUME, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN ON NETWORK TELEVISION, THAT YOU

HAVE NOW MADE IT AND YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT MONEY.

BUT THE REALITY IS LIKE, AS SOON AS I DID THAT EPISODE, I WENT

BACK TO MY NORMAL LIFE THE SAME HAPPENED FOR YOU,

RIGHT? >> FOR SURE.

I MEAN, I WAS WAITING TABLES FOR SEVEN YEARS DURING ALL THESE

LITTLE GIGS, YOU KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT

I MEAN, PEOPLE THINK, "WOW, YOU'RE ON TV

YOU MADE IT! BUT, I MEAN, THE FIRST TIME I

ACTUALLY SAW MYSELF ON TELEVISION, ON "THE WONDER

YEARS," I WAS WAITING TABLES I WAS ON MY SHIFT.

AND ONE OF MY BUDDIES, ANOTHER WAITER, YOU KNOW, POINTED OUT TO

THE TELEVISION THAT WE HAD OVER THE BAR ‐‐ AT THE BAR AREA OF

THE RESTAURANT HE SAID, "SCHWIMMER, YOU'RE ON

TV." I LOOKED, LIKE, "YEAH.

AND I TURNED BACK TO MY TABLE. I WAS LIKE, "DO YOU WANT BLUE

CHEESE OR THOUSAND ISLAND? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: IT'S VERY HUMBLING. IT'S ‐‐ THAT'S A GOOD STORY.

I HOPE THAT EVERYBODY WHO'S TRYING TO GET INTO THIS BUSINESS

CAN HEAR THAT AND BE A LITTLE INSPIRED BY HOW IT ULTIMATELY

TURNED OUT >> WELL, IT ALSO ‐‐ I THINK IT

TEACHES YOU SO MUCH RESPECT FOR ANYONE IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY,

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I MEAN ‐

>> Seth: YES >> IF YOU EVER WAITED TABLES, AS

I DID FOR SEVEN YEARS, FIRST OF ALL, YOU TIP REALLY WELL FOR THE

REST OF YOUR LIFE ‐‐ >> Seth: ABSOLUTELY.

>> BECAUSE YOU JUST KNOW HOW MUCH ‐‐ HOW MUCH PEOPLE RELY ON

GRATUITY THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I PAID MY

BILLS, YOU KNOW, FOR ALL THOSE YEARS.

>> Seth: I ALSO ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY, BUT I

THINK THERE'S THIS PROJECTION OF HOW STRESSFUL SHOW BUSINESS CAN

BE AND IT'S NOT WITHOUT ITS

STRESSES, BUT THE ONLY STRESS DREAMS I EVER HAVE ARE ONES

ABOUT BEING A WAITER THAT IS STILL ‐‐ TABLE SEVEN

NEEDS THEIR BURRITO. THAT WILL WAKE ME UP IN THE

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT MORE THAN ANYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENED IN

MY CAREER. WELL, I HOPE, ONE, WE ALL CAN

GET BACK TO RESTAURANTS SOON AND TWO, THAT WE ALL CAN

REMEMBER TO OVERTIP OUR WAITING STAFF.

>> YES, YES. >> Seth: CONGRATS ON THE SHOW.

IT'S ALWAYS NICE TALKING TO YOU, DAVID.

>> THANKS, MAN THANK, SETH.

I APPRECIATE IT. >> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

WITH A VISIT FROM FRED ARMISEN ♪

♪ >> Seth: I'M SO GLAD

FRED ARMISEN IS BACK THIS WEEK LEADING THE 8G BAND.

AND WHEN HE'S HERE, THERE'S A THING WE LIKE TO DO WHERE I SHOW

FRED A FAMOUS PAINTING AND GET HIM TO TELL US ABOUT IT.

LITTLE‐KNOWN FACT, FRED HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE PAINTING IS OR

REALLY ANYTHING ABOUT ART HISTORY.

IT'S JUST ALL OFF THE TOP OF HIS

HEAD AND I GRIN AND LOVE IT. HERE'S ONCE AGAIN IS "FRED ARMISEN: ART AFICIONADO.

>> Seth: HEY, FRED, HOW ARE YOU? >> Fred: HOW YOU DOING

>> Seth: I'M GOOD. SO YOU HAVE ALWAYS CLAIMED YOU

KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERY PAINTING EVER PAINTED.

LAST CHANCE TO ADMIT THAT THAT WAS A LIE.

>> Fred: NO. I KNOW ABOUT ALL ART, PAINTING,

SCULPTURE, PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING

>> Seth: OKAY, WELL, HERE'S TODAY'S PAINTING

THIS IS GEORGE BELLOWS' 1924 PAINTING, "DEMPSEY AND

FIRPO. >> Fred: YES, THIS IS A VERY,

VERY FAMOUS PAINTING PEOPLE WILL RECOGNIZE IT AS THE

MOST FAMOUS PAINTING >> Seth: UH‐HUH.

>> Fred: BUT, IT'S SORT OF SECOND

I THINK SECOND OR THIRD. IT'S JUST THAT WE JUST ‐

>> Seth: WHAT'S ‐‐ >> Fred: DON'T REALIZE HOW ‐

>> Seth: IF IT'S ‐‐ IT'S THIRD, WHAT ARE ‐‐ WHAT ARE ONE AND

TWO? >> "MONA LISA.

>> Seth: UH‐HUH. >> AND "THE DAVID." ‐‐

>> Seth: OKAY. >> Fred: WHICH IS A SCULPTURE.

BUT PEOPLE SEE IT AS A ‐‐ THEY SEE IT AS A SORT OF PAINTING

ANYWAY ‐ >> Seth: A CLAY PAINTING

>> Fred: THIS IS SECOND OR THIRD.

AND PEOPLE, THEY JUST KNOW IT, BUT THEY DON'T RECOGNIZE IT ‐‐

>> Seth: OKAY. >> Fred: IF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT.

IT'S SOMETHING THAT THEY SEE AND GO, "OF COURSE, I KNOW THIS

PAINTING." SO THIS ‐‐ YOU KNOW, THIS WAS A

SORT OF ‐‐ THIS WAS ALREADY COMPLETED.

AND THE PAINTER'S PROFESSOR CAME BACK AND WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW,

YOU HAVE A LOT OF PROMISE. >> Seth: OH?

>> Fred: AND THEN HE WAS LIKE ‐‐ AND HE WAS LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU

TALKING ABOUT? I'M ALREADY A WELL‐KNOWN

PAINTER. I'M DOING FINE

I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL." AND HE'S LIKE, "NO, NO, YOU'RE

REALLY ‐‐ IT'S REALLY COMING ALONG.

IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A LOT OF EMOTION.

AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE OTHER BOXER'S FALLING OUT OF THE

RING." HE'S LIKE, "I KNOW, I'M GOOD

I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL YES, I AM ‐‐ I AM ACCOMPLISHED

THIS IS MAYBE MY 40th PAINTING I'M ALL GOOD."

AND THIS PROFESSOR IS JUST LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER.

HE WAS LIKE, "REALLY, I MEAN, I WOULD ‐‐ YOU KNOW, WITH THE

LIGHT, I WOULD TRY TO ‐‐ AND HE WAS LIKE, "I AM ‐‐

LISTEN, YOU'RE ONLY GETTING IN THE WAY.

SO FOR THE REST OF THE PAINTING, HE PAINTED LIKE ‐‐ LIKE QUIETLY

AND ANGRILY. HE'S LIKE, "DUDE IS LOOKING

RIGHT OVER MY SHOULDER AND I'M TRYING TO FINISH THIS

PAINTING." >> Seth: WOW

>> Fred: AND OUT OF POLITENESS, HE WAS JUST LIKE "THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. >> Seth: WOW

>> Fred: SO THIS IS A PAINTING IT'S A VERY INTERESTING PAINTING

BECAUSE IT WAS DONE TOWARDS THE END IN A LITTLE BIT OF A RUSH.

LIKE, "I'M GOING TO JUST FINISH THIS THING AND GET IT OUT THERE

BECAUSE THIS PROFESSOR IS LIKE ‐

[ LAUGHTER ] LITERALLY LOOKING OVER MY

SHOULDER AS I'M TRYING TO COMPLETE IT.

>> Seth: WOW, LOOKING AT THE PAINTING ‐

>> Fred: WHICH IS THE REASON THE REF ISN'T DRESSED LIKE A REF

DID YOU NOTICE THE REF THERE [ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: YEAH. YEAH, HE'S LIKE ‐‐

>> Fred: SO HE ORIGINALLY ‐‐ >> Seth: HE'S DRESSED LIKE

SOMEONE IN AN OFFICE >> Fred: YEAH.

OH, YEAH AND I THINK HE DID IT JUST TO

SORT OF LIKE, "I NEED TO PUT BEIGE AND LIGHT BLUE AND GET

THIS GUY OUT OF HERE." SO IT WAS LIKE, "I'M DONE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'M DONE

THIS IS ‐‐ I'M DONE. I'M GOING TO GET IT OUT THERE.

AND THE PROFESSOR IS LIKE, "YOU'RE REALLY COMING ALONG.

HE'S LIKE, "THANKS." >> Seth: WOW

THAT'S FANTASTIC THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT

INSIGHT, AS ALWAYS

THIS HAS BEEN "FRED ARMISEN: ART AFICIONADO." [ LAUGHTER ]

♪ >> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

WITH ROBIN THEDE.

♪ ♪

>> Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY ACTRESS, COMEDIAN,

WRITER AND PRODUCER. HER HBO SHOW "A BLACK LADY

SKETCH SHOW" WAS JUST NOMINATED FOR THREE EMMYS, INCLUDING

OUTSTANDING VARIETY SKETCH

SERIES HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH ROBIN THEDE.

>> Seth: WELCOME BACK, ROBIN HOW ARE YOU?

>> I'M SO GOOD >> Seth: YES, CONGRATULATIONS.

"A BLACK LADY SKETCH SHOW" NOMINATED FOR THREE AWARDS,

INCLUDING BEST VARIETY SERIES. YOU MUST BE SO HAPPY

>> I'M SO THRILLED I ‐‐ YESTERDAY, I ATE JELLY

BEANS FOR BREAKFAST. I WAS VERY ‐‐ THAT WAS MY TREAT

TO MYSELF. AND MY HOME CURRENTLY LOOKS LIKE

A FLOWER SHOP BECAUSE I'VE HAD SO MANY DELIVERIES FROM

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE >> Seth: AND I WANT TO

CONGRATULATE NOT JUST THE SHOW GETTING NOMINATED FOR SERIES,

BUT ANGELA BASSETT AND WE TALKED LAST TIME YOU WERE

ON THE SHOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU GOT HER TO DO A CAMEO IN

YOUR SERIES. SHE GOT NOMINATED FOR GUEST

ACTOR IN A COMEDY. AND THIS IS A WORLD‐RENOWNED

ACTRESS. BUT I DON'T BELIEVE SHE'S EVER

BEEN NOMINATED FOR COMEDY BEFORE, SO I TIP MY CAP TO YOU

AND YOUR TEAM. >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YES.

I AM ‐‐ YOU KNOW, ANGELA BASSETT, A YOUNG UPSTART,

REALLY JUST SOMEONE ‐‐ >> Seth: YES

>> AT THE BEGINNING OF THEIR COMEDY CAREER.

SO, I'M THRILLED FOR HER AND, YOU KNOW, I SAW HER,

ACTUALLY, AT THE IMAGE AWARDS EARLIER THIS YEAR.

AND SHE SAID, "HEY, ROBIN. I SAID, "OH, HEY."

AND SHE SAID, "SO WHEN DO WE START SHOOTING AGAIN?"

[ LAUGHTER ] SO SHE OBVIOUSLY WANTED TO KEEP

DOING THIS SO I'M LIKE, "HEY, ANYTHING YOU

WANT TO DO." >> Seth: AND A MORE ‐‐ OBVIOUSLY

DIME DAVIS, YOUR DIRECTOR, LESSER KNOWN, BUT HER

ACCOMPLISHMENT IS MORE HISTORIC AND ‐‐ AND TRULY INCREDIBLE.

CAN YOU JUST SPEAK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND

>> IT'S SO HUGE. SO DIME DAVIS DIRECTED OUR

ENTIRE SERIES, SEASON ONE. SHE IS AN INCREDIBLE DIRECTOR, A

VISIONARY. AND SHE HAS NOW SET THE RECORD

SHE'S THE FIRST BLACK WOMAN TO EVER BE NOMINATED FOR DIRECTING

A SERIES FOR A VARIETY SKETCH. SO, THAT'S A REALLY BIG DEAL

THIS IS A VERY HISTORICALLY WHITE MALE SORT OF GENRE SKETCH

COMEDY SO WHAT WE'RE DOING WITH THE

SHOW IS RECORD BREAKING, WHAT SHE IS DOING DIRECTING IS

RECORD‐BREAKING AND ANGELA BASSETT THE COMEDIAN.

I MEAN, IT'S REALLY A TRANSFORMATION

[ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ‐‐

YOU KNOW ‐‐ AND OBVIOUSLY, IT'S TRUE THAT THIS HAS BEEN, YOU

KNOW, A PLATFORM THAT HAS BEEN, YOU KNOW, WHITE MALE DOMINATED

OVER THE YEARS YOU WORKED ON SOME SHOWS, "THE

NIGHTLY SHOW," AND THEN YOUR OWN SHOW, "THE RUNDOWN," THAT TALKED

ABOUT ISSUES OF RACIAL INEQUALITY IN A WAY THAT I THINK

ARE NOW BEING TALKED ABOUT MORE THAN THEY EVER HAVE BEEN BEFORE.

HOW DID IT FEEL TO BE AT THE FOREFRONT OF THAT?

AND HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW TO WATCH IT SORT OF BECOME MORE OF

A MAINSTREAM ISSUE, FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD?

>> I MEAN, HONESTLY, PEOPLE JUST WOULD HAVE LISTENED TO ME YEARS

AGO, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS NOW, BUT ‐

[ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: YOU KNOW WHAT

TRUE STORY [ LAUGHTER ]

>> NO, I THINK IT'S ‐‐ LOOK, EVERYTHING TAKES TIME.

PROGRESS FEELS FAST, BUT IT REALLY HAPPENS SLOWLY.

AND I THINK WE'RE AT THIS MAGICAL POINT IN HISTORY WHERE

EVERYBODY WAS HOME AND HAD TO LIKE ACTUALLY HEAR THE VOICES

WHO HAD BEEN SPEAKING OUT. BUT I THINK IT'S REALLY, REALLY

AN INCREDIBLE TIME I THINK IT'S A TIME OF PROGRESS.

I REALLY HOPE WE DON'T BACKSLIDE FROM WHERE WE'RE HEADING

AND LOOK, THERE'S A LOT OF WORK TO BE DONE

BUT LUCKILY ALL THE SEGMENTS I'VE DONE ON "LATE NIGHT" ARE

AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE AND ‐ [ LAUGHTER ]

AND PEOPLE CAN WATCH THEM. BUT NO, I'M JUST HAPPY

YOU KNOW, THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN STUFF THAT, YOU KNOW, HAS BEEN

IMPORTANT TO ME FOR YEARS. SO, I'M EXCITED THAT PEOPLE ARE

LISTENING. AND YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY ASKED ME,

LIKE "IS IT TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE?"

I'M LIKE, "NO. THE TIME FOR PROGRESS IS ALWAYS

NOW. SO, I'M EXCITED ABOUT IT

>> Seth: IT'S BEEN OBVIOUSLY A VERY IMPRESSIVE YEAR FOR YOU

AND I WOULD IMAGINE YOUR PARENTS ARE IMPRESSED, BUT THEY'RE VERY

IMPRESSIVE PEOPLE IN THEIR OWN RIGHT.

>> THEY'RE IMPRESSIVE IN THEIR OWN RIGHT.

I MEAN, I'M CONSTANTLY LIVING IN THEIR SHADOW

MY MOTHER IS A POLITICIAN. SHE'S IN HER SIXTH TERM, I

THINK, IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES IN IOWA.

FIRST BLACK WOMAN FROM HER DISTRICT TO BE ELECTED

SHE WAS ELECTED THE SAME NIGHT AS BARACK OBAMA AND WORKED FOR

THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY, SO HAD WORKED ON HIS CAMPAIGN AND HERS

AT THE SAME TIME SO ONE TIME I TOLD HE ‐‐ I THINK

WHEN I FIRST GOT MY LATE‐NIGHT SHOW, I SAID, "MOM, YOU KNOW,

I'M GOING TO BE DOING MY OWN LATE‐NIGHT SHOW.

SHE'S LIKE, "COOL, I'M HERE. LET ME CALL YOU BACK" AND TEXT

ME A PICTURE OF HER WITH BARACK OBAMA

[ LAUGHTER ] SO, I CAN'T WIN.

I CAN'T WIN. I'M TRYING

>> Seth: YOU DID A STORYLINE AT THE END OF YOUR SHOW ABOUT A

QUARANTINE THIS WAS BEFORE THERE WAS AN

ACTUAL QUARANTINE. >> YES

>> Seth: SO I SHOULD NOTE THAT RACIAL INEQUALITY WAS NOT THE

ONLY THING YOU WERE AT THE FOREFRONT OF

[ LAUGHTER ] WE REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN

LISTENING TO YOU I DON'T KNOW WHAT ‐‐ AS SOON AS

YOU WRITE EVEN SCRIPTS FOR SEASON TWO, WOULD YOU SEND THEM

TO ME SO I CAN KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS

I FEEL LIKE THERE'S GOING TO BE THIS LIKE WAVE OF QUARANTINE

CONTENT. YOU MUST ‐‐ IT MUST FEEL NICE TO

KNOW THAT YOU'VE ALREADY DONE YOUR COMEDY ABOUT BEING

ISOLATED >> YES, I AM SO GLAD THAT WE PUT

FOUR WOMEN IN A HOUSE QUARANTINING AT THE END OF THE

WORLD IN OUR FIRST SEASON IN AUGUST OF 2019

AND THAT STORYLINE HAS TO CONTINUE

ANYBODY WHO'S SEEN THE SHOW, OR IF YOU HAVEN'T, SPOILER ALERT.

IT'S A YEAR OLD, CATCH UP. [ LAUGHTER ]

BUT WE END WITH SOMEONE RINGING THE DOORBELL

SO, OBVIOUSLY THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY FOUR PEOPLE LEFT ON EARTH

BUT YOU KNOW, THEY DO ALL THE QUARANTINE THINGS THAT LITERALLY

HAPPENED TO ALL OF US. THEY ARGUE, THEY GET ON EACH

OTHER'S NERVES, THEY EAT ALL THEIR SNACKS

YOU KNOW, THEY LITERALLY GO THROUGH ALL THE THINGS THAT

WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING THROUGH NOW, WHICH IS SO CRAZY

I MEAN, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS A CLAIRVOYANT, BUT I DO NOW PUT

THAT ON MY RESUME NEXT TO ‐‐ >> Seth: I KNOW I MENTIONED

ALREADY, DO YOU GET ‐‐ WHAT IS THE FEEDBACK LIKE FROM YOUR

PARENTS? ARE THEY ‐‐ DO THEY LIKE

EVERYTHING YOU DO? OR ARE THERE TIMES THAT THEY

HAVE SOME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM?

>> FOR THE MOST PART THEY LIKE WHAT I DO, BUT I WILL SAY THEY

ARE VERY HONEST WHEN THEY DON'T LIKE SOMETHING

>> Seth: REALLY? >> WE DID A SKETCH ON "A BLACK

LADY SKETCH SHOW" WHERE I PLAYED THIS WOMAN, FEATHER ATWOOD, WHO

WAS THE FIRST NEGRO LEAGUE GROUPIE.

AND MY MOM WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T LOVE THAT SKETCH.

I REALLY DIDN'T LOVE THAT SKETCH."

AND I WAS ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I CALL THEM EVERY NIGHT, EVERY WEEK IT

WOULD AIR. AND I'M LIKE, "OH, DID YOU LOVE

IT?" AND THEY'RE LIKE, "YEAH, YEAH,

YEAH." AND MY MOM'S LIKE, "GIVE ME THE

PHONE. I DIDN'T LIKE THAT SKETCH.

I DIDN'T GET IT. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS TASTEFUL."

AND I'M LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ] I'LL TRY HARDER NEXT TIME.

>> Seth: YEAH. I THINK ONE TIME ‐‐ ONCE YOU GET

ELECTED TO OFFICE LIKE FIVE, SIX TIMES, YOU'RE GOING TO BE VERY

OPEN WITH HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THINGS

>> SHE'S A VERY HONEST POLITICIAN, I'LL GIVE HER THAT

[ LAUGHTER ] >> Seth: HEY, ROBIN, IT IS SO

GREAT TO SEE YOU CONGRATULATIONS.

AND I REALLY DO ‐‐ ALL JOKES ASIDE, THIS IS SIX INCREDIBLY

TIGHT EPISODES FULL OF TALENTED PEOPLE

AND NOW IS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY FOR PEOPLE TO CATCH UP ON "A

BLACK LADY SKETCH SHOW." >> YES

>> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "LATE NIGHT.

♪ ♪

>> Announcer: FOR MORE "LATE NIGHT," GO TO

LATENIGHTSETH.COM. FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM AND

TWITTER @LATENIGHTSETH AND BE SURE TO CHECK US OUT ON

YOUTUBE AND FACEBOOK HEAD OVER TO iTUNES TO SUBSCRIBE

TO THE "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS" PODCAST.

YOU'LL GET "A CLOSER LOOK" AND MORE DOWNLOADED RIGHT TO YOUR

PHONE.

>> Seth: I WANT TO THANK MY

GUESTS DAVID SCHWIMMER AND ROBIN THEDE.

I WANT TO THANK FRED ARMISEN AND THE 8G BAND.

STAY TUNED FOR "LILLY SINGH. STAY SAFE.

WASH YOUR HANDS. WEAR A MASK.

WE LOVE YOU. ♪

♪