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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 THERE WERE NINE BACHELORS 2 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:52,000 Good evening, Madam Countess. 4 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,000 She's probably just returned from a trip. 5 00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:08,500 Is the Countess in a good mood today? 6 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:14,800 Far from it; I'm furious. 7 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,300 Can I do anything? 8 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,500 Get me my lawyer, Mr. Renard. 9 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,100 By phone? 10 00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:25,000 What do you think? Morse code? 11 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,350 Must you ask so many questions? 12 00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:31,000 I've always dreamed of being honest. 13 00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:33,100 - Really? - Really. 14 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,700 I didn't have the chance. You know why? 15 00:02:36,850 --> 00:02:40,100 - You never have a chance to. - To be honest? 16 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,650 Rarely. But you have many chances to be dishonest. 17 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:45,600 And being dishonest can be a full-time job. 18 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,600 At least thieves eat, don't they? 19 00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:52,600 Being honest isn't a job. 20 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:54,350 - It's a virtue. - Precisely. 21 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,700 The honest but ignorant man starves. 22 00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,900 When you're honest, nothing you do is dishonest. 23 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,000 - I don't badmouth honest people. - I hope so. 24 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,100 Where's my lawyer? 25 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,300 It's ringing, Countess. 26 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,800 You really know how to aggravate me. 27 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:17,100 You can see I'm nervous, yet you answer reprovingly. 28 00:03:17,275 --> 00:03:19,700 So you can say I'm unfair. 29 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,650 It's true: I am being unfair right now. 30 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,300 Here are 100 francs. 31 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:30,000 I dare say I like it when the countess is unjust. 32 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,900 Mr. Renard? 33 00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:35,000 Hello, this is Countess Batchefskaia. 34 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,600 I must see you right away. 35 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,750 I've just heard some frightful news. 36 00:03:42,350 --> 00:03:44,200 When will you be free? At 8:00? 37 00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:47,500 Let's meet for dinner. 38 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,600 Let's meet here. 39 00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:55,700 Meet me in 15 minutes. In a nearby restaurant. 41 00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:57,800 On Pelouse Street? 42 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,500 Meet me at Au Melon d'Espagne. 43 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:03,300 But ... 44 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,900 Tell me, What's stopping you from being honest. 45 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:11,400 It's like telling someone without skills to work ... 46 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,600 In short, it means taking someone else's place, 47 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,900 thus preventing him from earning a living. 48 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,500 Besides, why should I work? 49 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000 I've been living this way for 20 years. 50 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,750 Do you know how much I spend? 51 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,200 How much money you spend doesn't concern me. 52 00:04:28,525 --> 00:04:31,700 But how you earn it worries me. 53 00:04:32,150 --> 00:04:35,000 Am I in trouble? Never! 54 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:38,800 How would you describe what you do? 55 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,500 I'm a middleman. 56 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,900 I intervene on behalf of the buyer and seller. 57 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:47,400 One party is ready to pay out a large sum, 58 00:04:47,550 --> 00:04:48,900 and another to receive it. 59 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,500 I transfer the sum. 60 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,800 While it's being transferred .... 61 00:04:53,225 --> 00:04:54,600 I levy a tax. 62 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:58,600 Half of all humans are looking for the other half. 63 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:02,300 Men and women are like apples cut in two. 64 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,000 Each half looks for the other. 65 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,400 Aren't men's wives referred to as their better halves? 66 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,800 Too often, they find the wrong half. 67 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,300 And simply don't get along. 68 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,200 When the right apple halves find each other, 69 00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:21,000 you have love. 70 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,900 I love you so ... 71 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:30,150 If a man and a woman form 2 halves of an apple, 72 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:33,200 2 men form both halves of a pear. 73 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,300 Tell the master I'll be back by 9:00. 74 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,700 Yes, Madam, by 9:30. I'll tell him to wait. 75 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,000 To wait? Don't criticize me. 76 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,500 Yes, Ma'am. 77 00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:45,800 It's no wonder you've remained an old maid. 78 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,900 I'm not an old maid. 79 00:05:49,325 --> 00:05:51,400 I've been married for 27 years. 80 00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:54,900 - I never see your husband! - Neither do I. 81 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,200 I haven't seen him in 11 years. 82 00:05:57,275 --> 00:06:01,500 He left to get some matches one day, and never came back. 83 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,250 What do you think happened? 84 00:06:04,350 --> 00:06:08,000 I guess he didn't find any. 85 00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,650 We don't have any private rooms, sir. 86 00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:17,200 But I can give you a quiet corner table. 87 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:30,100 It'll do. But if the person I'm waiting for ... 88 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,000 We'll give you another one. 89 00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:38,000 That guy's nothing but trouble. 90 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,500 2 coffees. 91 00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:43,900 Boss, that waiter looks like you. 92 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:45,300 He's my son. 93 00:06:45,950 --> 00:06:48,900 He's not only your waiter, he's also your son. 94 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:52,300 - The cashier is my wife. - She's lovely. 95 00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:54,300 The chef's my brother-in-law. 96 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,900 The busboy's my nephew. 97 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,200 - Your entire kin's in France? - Yes, for now. 98 00:07:00,950 --> 00:07:04,700 This is Au Melon d'Espagne, there are no melons, 99 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:06,950 and only the few of you come from Spain. 100 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,200 Exactly. 101 00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:09,450 Happens all the time. 102 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,650 Where's the private room entrance? 103 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,200 - We have no private rooms. - That's too bad. 104 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,200 So pretty and contemptuous! 105 00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:24,500 The look she gave me ... 106 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,850 Ever notice how a queen looks at dog poop? 107 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,800 - No. - That was the look. 108 00:07:29,150 --> 00:07:31,500 It's late and we're here already. 109 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:33,950 The next table is empty. 110 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,000 I'll whisper to you. 111 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,900 It seems you serve succulent calf's head and pig's feet. 112 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,900 We certainly do! 113 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:46,900 How ravishing. What a woman! 114 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,100 You've fallen for her? 115 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,800 Not yet. 116 00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:52,500 But I adore attractive women. 117 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:58,200 - That man is so rude. - Which one? 118 00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,950 The one facing me. 119 00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:02,199 That guy ... 120 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,900 He keeps staring at me! 121 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,900 Think she's Russian? 122 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:08,800 Polish. 123 00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:09,950 Not French? 124 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000 No, but Parisian ... 125 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,300 Now I'm really getting to her. 126 00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:19,950 Sit there. 127 00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:27,950 A little more, not too much. 128 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:33,000 Move a little, a little more. 129 00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:37,300 I've just heard some terrible news. 130 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:44,200 The Cabinet just tabled a law that affects foreigners. 131 00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:47,600 Can he hear us? 132 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,600 It would seem ... 133 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,400 You're not speaking into my good one. 134 00:08:51,850 --> 00:08:53,300 - Your good what? - My good ear. 135 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,600 The law states ... 136 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,000 Read all about it! 137 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,000 New law targets foreigners living in France. 138 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:06,300 It's too late. 139 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,400 Hurry! 140 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:20,000 - You see? - Yes. 141 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,550 - The law. - Yes. 142 00:09:21,650 --> 00:09:23,000 Now what? 143 00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:25,200 There you go. 144 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,500 Time for me to go. 145 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,200 We're good people, but we can't allow an invasion. 146 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:58,200 First you invade France, then try to kick Frenchmen out. 147 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,500 What are you thinking? 148 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,000 What just happened. 149 00:10:10,325 --> 00:10:13,350 See why I'm worried? 150 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,300 Care to discuss it? 151 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:21,900 I think the new law has many people worried. 152 00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:27,000 I'm wondering how I can benefit from the situation. 153 00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,600 No, Ma'am. There's nothing I can do. 154 00:10:29,850 --> 00:10:32,350 If you wish to remain in France, 155 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:37,200 you have no choice but to marry a Frenchman. 156 00:10:37,225 --> 00:10:39,200 But you know my lifestyle. 157 00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:41,800 I know about the master ... 158 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,650 I've got it. 159 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,900 Pen and paper, please. 160 00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:49,400 About that man ... 161 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,500 He's married and he's Belgian. 162 00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,100 Belgian, you say? 163 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,200 OLD FRENCH BACHELORS' HOME 164 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,500 - Get it? - Not yet. 165 00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:09,800 First, I rent a small house. In Neuilly, for example. 166 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,200 Second, I turn it into a home. 167 00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:13,900 Thirdly? 168 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,650 Yes, thirdly. 169 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,700 - It's common usage. - Thanks. 171 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:23,000 Third, when it's ready, I place ads in the papers: 172 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,600 A generous soul has anonymously opened ... 173 00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:36,300 What style! 174 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,400 See you soon, madam. 175 00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:46,500 This is interesting. 176 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:49,200 Why do you write "French bachelors"? 177 00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:51,900 To attract foreign women, stupid. 178 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:55,200 I'm targeting her. Not too bright, are you? 179 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,150 Maybe not. 180 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,200 Try eating lentils. 181 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,200 I'm very late, dear. 182 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,350 Where were you? 183 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,300 I had dinner with Mrs. Gabouleff. 184 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:11,650 We spoke about the law for foreigners. 185 00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:15,825 Many people are worked up about it. 186 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,800 What do you think? 187 00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:21,450 I think the government has no choice. 188 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,700 Really? 189 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,100 France is being besieged by an army of aliens. 190 00:12:26,275 --> 00:12:28,700 And you're not a foreigner? 191 00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:30,700 Of course I am. 192 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,100 The law doesn't scare you? 193 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,200 Why should it? 194 00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:38,850 It doesn't affect people like me. 195 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,900 - Only suspicious individuals. - Really? 196 00:12:42,050 --> 00:12:44,225 You're not worried, are you? 197 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,700 - Wait. - What? 198 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,400 I don't see how it's dishonest. 199 00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,100 Neither do I. 200 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,600 Just be patient. 201 00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:56,350 - And your film deal? - Done! 202 00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:00,900 - I'm now sole owner of the studios... - No! 203 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:02,400 ... that nearly went bankrupt. 204 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:07,750 I'll reopen the studios as soon as I find the right script. 206 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,200 I'll star in it! 207 00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:13,650 My dear, you're not an actress. 208 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,200 I could be one. 209 00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:18,800 It's better not to be talented! 210 00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:21,900 Maybe. But you have to be photogenic. 211 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,400 - I'm not photogenic? - I'm not sure. 212 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:34,500 OLD FRENCH BACHELORS' HOME 213 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:37,400 This is the dorm. 214 00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,900 I'm all set to open tomorrow. 215 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,600 There's room for 9 bachelors in all. Careful! 216 00:13:49,050 --> 00:13:52,900 Tomorrow, my ads appear in the papers. 217 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,450 And a plane will scatter 30,000 brochures over Paris. 218 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:13,200 Can I have some food? 219 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:15,500 You come here often. 220 00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,200 I'm often hungry. 221 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,800 I only come once a day. 222 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,800 Think one meal a day's too much? 223 00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:28,800 It may seem like a lot to you, 224 00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,600 but to me, one meal a day isn't much. 225 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,800 So you think you're entitled? 226 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,700 I am, actually. 227 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:41,350 You agree with me, and that bothers you. 228 00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:45,400 It's annoying not to be able to say no. 229 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,900 I'm a free man. 230 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,700 I don't have to come here. 231 00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:52,850 But if I do, let's face it: 232 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,400 You have to give me something. - Have to? 233 00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:57,700 I most certainly don't. 234 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,800 I give because I want to. 235 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,950 - In that case, I think I'll pass it up. - Why? 237 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:07,900 Because you don't think I'm entitled. 238 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:10,400 Take it, you old fool! 239 00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:14,900 The old fool bids you good-bye forever! 240 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,800 That's just the way old fools are ... 241 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,900 Unbelievable! 242 00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:24,450 I have to run after you? 243 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,200 Why not, since I'm entitled? 244 00:15:27,850 --> 00:15:30,900 Now, do you owe me this, yes or no? 245 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,650 - Yes. - I thought so. 246 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,650 If all the poor were like you ... 247 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,000 There'd be fewer beggars. 248 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,800 Good night, madam. 249 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:41,800 Good-bye. See you tomorrow. 250 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,350 You don't deserve me. 251 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:45,600 Drop by anyway. 252 00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:48,900 Ok, I'm too kind. 253 00:15:49,550 --> 00:15:51,200 Are you doing Me a favor? 254 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,900 Well, I'm giving you a chance to be kind. 255 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,700 That is something ... 256 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,900 "Now open: old French bachelors' home" 257 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,200 Well, well! 258 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,500 Spare some change? 259 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,200 We've already told you to move! Are you deaf? 260 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,650 No, blind. 261 00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:38,200 - Please move. - Move? 262 00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:42,400 - Do you understand? - Yes, I see. 263 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,000 Then just do it. 264 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:49,900 It's not so easy for a blind man. 265 00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:55,700 Give me 10 more minutes so I can enjoy the sun. 266 00:16:55,900 --> 00:17:00,900 Ok, 10 minutes. I'm keeping my eye on you. 267 00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,000 I just don't see what's the big deal. 268 00:17:10,850 --> 00:17:14,100 Spare some change? 269 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,200 It's me, Adolphe. 270 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,000 Dear Adolphe! How are you? 271 00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,300 Come with me. 272 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:40,900 Read this. 273 00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,900 - Shall we go? - Why not? 275 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,400 We're old, we're bachelors and we're French. 276 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,800 And we're free. 277 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:03,300 Yes, but free to do what? 278 00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:04,800 That's true. 279 00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:08,000 - So? - So, let's go. 281 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,400 Shouldn't we tell Anatole? 282 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,900 I was thinking about him. 283 00:18:14,350 --> 00:18:17,900 The guy's really down on his luck. 284 00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:22,150 He's like us, he's got nothing. 285 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:26,400 Yes, but the guy's depressed. 286 00:18:27,475 --> 00:18:29,900 He really looks pitiful. 287 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:35,200 I told him to try his hand at something else. 288 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,600 Well said. 289 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,200 He's actually a poor poor person. 290 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:43,400 You're right. Come on, let's go. 291 00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:57,500 No, Anatole! 292 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:01,300 Come down, we have good news! 293 00:19:01,425 --> 00:19:04,400 No, take the stairs! 294 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,250 Retrieve my hat. 295 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,850 We got here just in time. 296 00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:15,300 - We were lucky. - So was he! 298 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:19,700 - He wouldn't have known. - True, but what a great moment for us! 300 00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:23,900 What's wrong? 301 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:28,100 I wanted to end it all by drowning myself. 302 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,200 - Why, were you thirsty? - No, hungry. 303 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,600 So? 304 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:39,500 A home for old bachelors just opened in Neuilly. 305 00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:40,700 We're headed there. 306 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:46,300 - We've got to tell Mr. Adhemar. - Who's Mr. Adhemar? 308 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:52,400 A royalist nobleman who might be a little ... 309 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:56,400 He's poorer than the 3 of us put together. 310 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,000 Let's go. 311 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,950 "... and your flask to drink from." 312 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,000 Come in, whoever you are! 313 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,200 Hello, Mr. Adhemar. 314 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,900 Hello, young man. Hello, gentlemen. 315 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,500 Hello. 316 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,550 What brings you here? Who are they? 317 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,650 Old friends of mine. 318 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,900 Welcome! Have a seat. 319 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,400 I always have one. 320 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:38,150 Care to join me for breakfast? 321 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,900 I only eat sugar. 322 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,800 - Were you playing dominoes? - This is my meal. 323 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,850 Hors d'oeuvres, main course, toast, dessert and fruit. 324 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:51,900 I've been eating sugar for years and I feel great. 325 00:20:52,175 --> 00:20:54,800 It's filling, wholesome, and even exquisite. 326 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,700 An olive? Gudgeon? Chicken? 327 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,300 Piece of pie? 328 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,000 Maybe an apricot? 329 00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:08,000 The chicken's good, but salty. 330 00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:11,500 Why don't we tell you why we came. 331 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:17,200 He has the eyes of a kangaroo. Go on! 332 00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:21,100 There's a bachelor's home in Neuilly ... 333 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:24,000 I also need a burning cigarette. 334 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:27,200 I place the hankie on my hand. 335 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,400 I then place the cigarette on the hankie. 336 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,950 Will your hankie start to burn? 337 00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:37,900 Not at all. Watch. 338 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,200 The cigarette's gone! 339 00:21:43,925 --> 00:21:47,800 My next trick is even more amazing. 340 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,400 I need a cigarette. 341 00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:57,900 This is really amazing ... 342 00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:03,650 In Neuilly, they've just opened ... 343 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,000 ... a home for old bachelors. 344 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,200 So long, ladies and gentlemen. 345 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,600 Show him out! Maybe he's a thief. 346 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:29,500 - Me? A thief? - Out! 347 00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:34,400 He forced open my gate! 348 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:36,800 I just wanted some charity. 349 00:22:36,850 --> 00:22:39,000 People don't like it when you enter like that. 350 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,300 We aren't protected from the poor. 351 00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:46,700 What? 352 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,600 You're here just in time. 353 00:22:49,850 --> 00:22:51,450 In Neuilly ... 354 00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:05,700 - Know him? - No. 355 00:23:06,450 --> 00:23:10,700 - He looks pitiful. - Poor guy. 356 00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:12,900 Shall we tell him? 357 00:23:12,950 --> 00:23:14,500 Yes! 358 00:23:32,350 --> 00:23:35,500 - Have you lost someone? - My wife. 359 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:38,750 - How terrible! - What a shame! 360 00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:42,600 But that's life ... 361 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,700 Yes, that's life. 362 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,800 - Time heals all wounds. - You make friends. 363 00:23:49,450 --> 00:23:53,200 - Friends can console you. - How true. 364 00:23:53,800 --> 00:24:00,800 - Friends know many things. - Interesting things. 365 00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:06,400 Would you believe a home just opened in Neuilly? 366 00:24:06,425 --> 00:24:12,500 - A special home. - For old bachelors. 367 00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:14,000 Let's walk. 368 00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:24,900 Am I really a bachelor? 369 00:24:25,050 --> 00:24:28,500 - What don't you have? - You're right ... 370 00:24:34,550 --> 00:24:37,200 A widower is a renewed bachelor. 371 00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:40,750 You're right, I am a bachelor. 372 00:24:40,850 --> 00:24:42,000 Not so loud! 373 00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:44,000 I'm a bachelor. 374 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:47,700 My God, I've lost my wife. 375 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,100 We know, we know! 376 00:24:50,450 --> 00:24:52,800 I mean I've just lost her again. 377 00:24:53,650 --> 00:24:55,600 I've lost her twice since Sunday. 378 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,350 Let's run after her! 379 00:25:05,425 --> 00:25:09,400 Don't do that! Come with us. 380 00:25:17,175 --> 00:25:20,850 In Neuilly, a home for old bachelors has opened. 381 00:25:39,900 --> 00:25:43,300 - Monsieur, Are you sick? - Are you in pain? 382 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:48,300 No, stupid, I was dreaming. 383 00:25:48,550 --> 00:25:49,700 Of what? 384 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:57,400 I dreamt of a home for old French bachelors in Neuilly. 385 00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:01,900 - You're kidding, right? - Not at all. 386 00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:16,200 We can expect 2 or 3 bachelors within 48 hours. 387 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,000 Ah, who might that be? 388 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,300 Come in. 389 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,200 Hello. 390 00:26:56,850 --> 00:26:59,100 How do you do? 391 00:27:01,050 --> 00:27:03,200 We learned through the papers, 392 00:27:03,250 --> 00:27:06,750 - ... through hearsay, - ... and quite by chance, 393 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,300 - ... that a special home - ... had opened in Neuilly. 394 00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:13,525 - We looked. - And found each other. 395 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:14,700 How did you find us? 396 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:19,200 Quite moving. But very numerous. How many are you? 397 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:25,800 Eight! Eight on the nose. 398 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,200 Not more, not less. 399 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:28,950 - 7 + 1 = 8. - 4 + 4 = 8. 400 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,200 - 5 + 3 = 8. - 6 + 2 = 8. 401 00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:34,600 There are fully 9 of you. 402 00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:44,300 Good thing, too. I have exactly 9 beds. 403 00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:48,000 - Please sit down. - Thank you. 404 00:27:54,850 --> 00:27:56,300 NO VACANCY 405 00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:01,000 I must ask you 3 questions. First, are you French? 406 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:08,900 Gentlemen, please, answer the question. 407 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,200 Are you French? 408 00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:12,700 - Yes, sir. - Certainly. - Thank the Lord. 409 00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:14,400 Definitely. 410 00:28:14,450 --> 00:28:17,850 - Proudly. - I swear. - Am I ever. 411 00:28:17,900 --> 00:28:20,000 - I swear. - Proof! 412 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,750 Fine. Second, are you 60 years old? 413 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,400 For 2 years and 13 months. 414 00:28:26,775 --> 00:28:31,325 - For 5 years, you know. - For a merry 7 years now. 415 00:28:31,450 --> 00:28:34,000 For a long 11 years. 416 00:28:34,750 --> 00:28:38,000 Me, 60? Twice that much. 417 00:28:38,325 --> 00:28:41,000 - You're 120!? - I'm 75. 418 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,900 2 x 60? 418 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000 You'll see ... 420 00:28:45,001 --> 00:28:47,300 I hope so. Are you 60? 421 00:28:47,925 --> 00:28:49,750 For 9 years now. 422 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,200 - For 16 years! - For a mere 8 days ... 423 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,000 I'll be 60 in a moment. 424 00:28:57,300 --> 00:29:01,850 I was born on May 15, 1879, at 2:30 p.m. 425 00:29:02,350 --> 00:29:05,950 It's 50 seconds past 2:29, and today's May 15. 426 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,900 It's now official. 427 00:29:08,950 --> 00:29:12,450 Last question: Are you all bachelors? 428 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:19,400 Your laughter is revealing, but I need you to answer. 429 00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:20,900 - You bet! 430 00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:26,600 - I was born a bachelor. - I hope to die a bachelor! 431 00:29:27,550 --> 00:29:30,000 I don't need problems. 432 00:29:30,450 --> 00:29:34,900 - I'd remember if I was. - Divorced 40 years ago. 433 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,750 I dig married women! 434 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,400 - Engaged 4 times. - Married? 435 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,300 - No way! - Widower. 436 00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:44,900 Great. 437 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:50,200 I had an ulterior motive: I'd like each of you to marry. 438 00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:56,900 - Why? - Yes, why? 439 00:29:57,100 --> 00:29:58,400 To help you. 440 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:03,000 Many foreign-born women would do anything to stay here. 441 00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:06,250 Even marry an honorary husband. 442 00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:08,500 - If he's harmless. - Exactly. 443 00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:10,600 - Strange. - Amusing. 444 00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:14,650 - And very ingenious. - They'd pay a fee ... 445 00:30:14,750 --> 00:30:16,100 That we'd split. 446 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,300 - How? - 50 - 50. 447 00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:19,950 - Each? - Of course. 448 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:22,400 - To take care of you. - Sounds good. 449 00:30:22,650 --> 00:30:26,800 Each of you would get at least 25,000 francs. 450 00:30:29,775 --> 00:30:31,000 A staggering sum! 451 00:30:31,350 --> 00:30:36,500 - From a woman, at our age! - I'll take it! 452 00:30:36,725 --> 00:30:38,100 Any objections? 453 00:30:38,700 --> 00:30:40,400 None! 454 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:41,950 Not even one. 455 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,600 So you all agree to marry? 456 00:30:49,750 --> 00:30:52,800 Bring these gentlemen to the dining room. 457 00:30:52,850 --> 00:30:55,700 After their meal, show them the dorm and the home. 458 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,500 Please take good care of them. 459 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:00,700 Good-bye, gentlemen. 460 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:03,000 Have a good night's sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. 461 00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:21,000 Coming with us? 462 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,500 - Did you take care ... - Of everything. 463 00:31:26,850 --> 00:31:29,000 The clothes, the linen and everything else. 464 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:34,700 Please collect their birth certificates, ID cards, etc., 465 00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:37,000 then prepare a chart I can consult for each one. 466 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,500 Yes, sir. 467 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:54,000 For each ID, a card lists their names, their ages, and other pertinent information. 469 00:31:54,350 --> 00:31:55,700 That's fine. 470 00:31:55,750 --> 00:31:58,300 - Doesn't he have any ID? - No, sir. 471 00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:01,000 He must contact his town's mayor. 472 00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:14,000 It's working. 473 00:32:14,025 --> 00:32:15,100 Hurry, Miss, hurry! 474 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,000 A radio would be great. 475 00:32:24,900 --> 00:32:26,050 Come in, madame. 476 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,500 How can it be fun to play fair? 477 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,700 Who says we're playing fair? 478 00:32:50,950 --> 00:32:58,400 Is it true we can marry your home's residents? 479 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,000 Yes, it's true. 480 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,550 I didn't open this home for that purpose, 481 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,600 but the thought did occur to me. 482 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:05,900 For any number of reasons, 483 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:13,200 a woman might suddenly decide she needs to get married. 484 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:18,900 An honorary husband won't affect her private life. 485 00:33:19,350 --> 00:33:25,450 Especially if he's basically harmless. And non-functional. 487 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:30,650 Couldn't we have relations? 488 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,400 I never thought of that. 489 00:33:33,550 --> 00:33:39,600 It's a delicate issue, but I don't see why not. 490 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,600 Perhaps you only have old men? 491 00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:47,650 Old men? 492 00:33:47,700 --> 00:33:50,000 Yes, I only have old men. 493 00:33:52,850 --> 00:33:55,000 - And you? - Me? 494 00:33:55,800 --> 00:34:01,750 I'm sorry. I need my independence. Sorry. 495 00:34:02,100 --> 00:34:03,200 Too bad. 496 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:06,200 I can offer you Athanase. 497 00:34:06,850 --> 00:34:09,000 - Lovely name. - Isn't it? 498 00:34:10,900 --> 00:34:14,600 Hello, Please send me Mr. Athanase. 499 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:16,600 Mr. Athanase? 500 00:34:16,650 --> 00:34:18,000 The director wants to see you. 501 00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:21,750 - Me? Why? - I don't know. 502 00:34:22,100 --> 00:34:23,500 Is he being kicked out? 503 00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:25,900 Why would they do that? 504 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:29,900 What does he want? 505 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,200 So long, maybe? 506 00:34:51,900 --> 00:34:53,000 Come in. 507 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:58,400 Here's your husband. 508 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,000 Yes! 509 00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:09,000 - Hello, madam. - Hello, sir. 510 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,800 I highly recommend Mr. Athanase. 511 00:35:16,450 --> 00:35:18,100 Strange feeling, isn't it? 512 00:35:18,900 --> 00:35:20,100 Very. 513 00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:24,100 Shall I leave you 2 alone? 514 00:35:24,950 --> 00:35:26,000 What for? 515 00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:28,200 I mean, for what? 516 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:33,000 - We've said everything. - I agree. 518 00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:36,150 I find you most charming. 519 00:35:36,750 --> 00:35:38,100 You're too kind. 520 00:35:38,650 --> 00:35:41,900 Are you Spanish, may I ask? 521 00:35:43,050 --> 00:35:45,400 I was born in South America. 522 00:35:45,775 --> 00:35:48,100 Federated Republic of Brazil. 523 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,600 - When would we be married? - In a week. 524 00:35:53,900 --> 00:35:56,100 - Great. - In a week. 525 00:35:56,250 --> 00:36:01,500 Can I do anything for you? 526 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,700 Madam, Do I dare? 527 00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:07,300 Dare, dare! 528 00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:11,600 I think we would all appreciate a radio. 529 00:36:12,750 --> 00:36:17,300 I'll have one delivered, along with a picture of me. 530 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:22,500 Thank you so much, I didn't dare ask for one. 531 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,900 Good-bye, madam, I'll see you again real soon. 532 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,200 Good-bye. 533 00:36:38,750 --> 00:36:42,100 - He's so sweet. - As promised. 534 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,400 You're not kicked out? 535 00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:49,000 On the contrary. 536 00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,000 I just met my fiancee. 537 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,100 - Already? - So? 538 00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:57,100 How is she? 539 00:36:59,100 --> 00:37:02,000 Well, not bad, actually. 540 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:08,550 She's South American, with a great figure. 541 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,400 - and ears ... - How many? 542 00:37:12,350 --> 00:37:14,000 Next, please. 543 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:37,100 - Must we meet him? - Who? 544 00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:38,700 The husband. 545 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:43,500 You don't have to, but you'll see him on your wedding day. 546 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:48,400 Shouldn't you at least meet each other briefly? 547 00:37:49,050 --> 00:37:50,350 Yes, you're right. 548 00:37:50,750 --> 00:37:53,200 And the terms of the sale ... I mean service? 549 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,000 Here. 550 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,900 - 50,000 francs? - Yes. 551 00:37:59,450 --> 00:38:02,800 But you make a man happy and you get to stay in France. 552 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:04,500 That's true. 553 00:38:08,750 --> 00:38:11,150 Hello. Very well, sir. 554 00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:14,000 Which one? 555 00:38:15,050 --> 00:38:16,400 Mr. Alexandre. 556 00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:19,200 Maybe you should first wash your hands. 557 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:20,600 Good idea. 558 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,100 - How is she? - I don't know. 559 00:38:25,825 --> 00:38:27,900 The meeting might be very brief. 560 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,100 Come in. 561 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,550 Meet your husband. 562 00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:41,200 - Pleased to meet you. - How do you do? 563 00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:44,650 - You're very pretty. - Thank you, sir. 564 00:38:45,050 --> 00:38:47,200 - Have a seat. - Thank you. 565 00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:54,300 I've always wanted to marry a pretty young woman. 566 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,300 But I'm not marrying you because you're young. 567 00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,250 You're marrying me because I'm old. 568 00:39:06,900 --> 00:39:11,500 Well, I think I'd like a picture of you. 569 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:16,100 And we'd all like a radio. 570 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:17,500 A radiograph? 571 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,000 No, a console. 572 00:39:20,525 --> 00:39:23,500 - I'll take care of it. - Thank you. 574 00:39:26,950 --> 00:39:28,650 - Good-bye. - Good-bye. 575 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,600 - How is she? - Very pretty. 576 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:51,300 I haven't seen his wife, but mine has incredible eyes. 577 00:39:51,750 --> 00:39:54,450 - She was wearing a fox. - Socks? 578 00:39:54,650 --> 00:39:57,200 An expensive fox. 579 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,000 Next. 580 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,450 - May I help you? - Husband, for me. 581 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,200 A husband? 582 00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:18,100 - French. - Of course. 583 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:19,700 How much? 584 00:40:19,950 --> 00:40:22,500 How much? 40,000. 585 00:40:22,850 --> 00:40:24,700 - 40? - No, 30. 586 00:40:26,550 --> 00:40:27,700 Me choose? 587 00:40:27,850 --> 00:40:31,000 No, I only have one. 588 00:40:32,700 --> 00:40:36,200 Why do we assume foreigners are deaf? 589 00:40:36,550 --> 00:40:38,200 Please complete this form. 590 00:40:42,725 --> 00:40:44,150 A radio! 591 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,600 No, not there. 592 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,200 Right-side up! 593 00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:55,900 - Me see husband? - Yes, right away! 594 00:40:57,900 --> 00:41:00,400 - I have a letter for Mr. Athanase. - That's me. 595 00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:04,200 - Must be her picture. - I don't know. 596 00:41:05,900 --> 00:41:07,000 Yes, it is! 597 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,400 Show us your pretty wife! 598 00:41:09,750 --> 00:41:11,600 No, this is personal. 599 00:41:11,950 --> 00:41:15,000 The radio is for everybody. 600 00:41:15,250 --> 00:41:16,500 Too bad! 601 00:41:16,850 --> 00:41:19,800 Yes, sir. Mr. Amedee, please. 602 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,900 ... 27 ... 28 ... 29 ... 603 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,300 Enough. Gift! 604 00:41:26,900 --> 00:41:29,900 - Thank you! Cigarette? - No, thank you. 605 00:41:32,950 --> 00:41:34,300 Nothing, thank you. 606 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,000 Come in. 607 00:41:46,850 --> 00:41:48,000 Chinese? 608 00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:49,900 Yes. Is that OK? 609 00:41:50,100 --> 00:41:51,450 No problem. 610 00:41:51,850 --> 00:41:53,500 - Husband? - Yes. 611 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,000 Why is she laughing? 612 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,900 - You're humoring her. - Maybe. 613 00:42:02,550 --> 00:42:03,800 Hello, husband. 614 00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:05,400 Hello, wife. 615 00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:06,900 - So long. - So long. 616 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,700 - Picture? - Here. 617 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,300 - Thank you. So long. - So long. 618 00:42:21,850 --> 00:42:23,350 - Charming. - Isn't she? 619 00:42:23,450 --> 00:42:25,850 - A mask. - No one underneath. 620 00:42:25,950 --> 00:42:27,000 Maybe. 621 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,300 How about some Beethoven? 622 00:42:33,900 --> 00:42:36,600 We don't share the same tastes. 623 00:42:37,300 --> 00:42:38,950 Thank the Lord! 624 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,200 Honorary husbands ... 625 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,200 - Onerous fees! - Inevitably. 626 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,500 Isn't there something else? 627 00:43:01,650 --> 00:43:03,500 - Yes, there is. - Give it to me. 628 00:43:08,700 --> 00:43:12,500 I won't be as discreet. This is my wife. 629 00:43:14,450 --> 00:43:16,700 - Beautiful! - Charming... 630 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,450 - Let me see. - Look. 631 00:43:22,850 --> 00:43:23,900 She's OK. 632 00:43:24,300 --> 00:43:26,700 Mine's different. 633 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,450 - She's a doll. - Just right for him. 634 00:43:34,425 --> 00:43:36,450 You're not a foreigner. 635 00:43:36,850 --> 00:43:43,000 No, but for personal reasons, I must get married. 636 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,900 I don't need a husband at home. 637 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,300 - You want him to stay here. - Yes. 638 00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,450 - I don't need a husband. - He'd only get in the way. 639 00:43:53,750 --> 00:43:57,900 - You keep an eye on him. - I will. 640 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,500 - Care to be a countess? - Sure! 641 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:05,100 How about a royalty nut who's clueless? 642 00:44:05,900 --> 00:44:07,900 - Perfect! - Isn't it! 643 00:44:08,950 --> 00:44:11,900 Charles X made one mistake. 644 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,000 - Mr. Adhemar ... - I'm talking! 645 00:44:15,250 --> 00:44:17,900 - It's the director. - How odious! 646 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:35,500 For you, but only for you, 60,000. 647 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:37,500 Agreed. 648 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:43,400 Come in. Meet Count Adhemar Colombinet. 649 00:44:47,525 --> 00:44:49,900 - Madam. - Charmed. 650 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,400 This is your wife. 651 00:44:56,650 --> 00:44:58,700 But I told you I'm not married! 652 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,500 I meant your wife-to-be. 653 00:45:00,750 --> 00:45:02,100 Ok, fine. 654 00:45:12,425 --> 00:45:16,700 My wife-to-be is a present from the past. 655 00:45:17,100 --> 00:45:18,300 When will we be married? 656 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:19,650 In a week. 657 00:45:20,100 --> 00:45:24,000 We'll look the same. Toodle-oo, madam. 658 00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:26,800 I'd like a picture of you. 659 00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:29,400 At your first Communion. 660 00:45:31,850 --> 00:45:35,800 Tall, distinguished, 661 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,600 with darting, dancing eyes. 662 00:45:40,925 --> 00:45:43,500 She must live in a very nice house. 663 00:45:43,700 --> 00:45:48,000 She can keep house, I'll bet. Long live the King! 664 00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:57,400 You see? He's a buffoon. 665 00:45:57,500 --> 00:46:00,950 No doubt about that. 666 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,650 He's the right man for me. 667 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:09,950 A queen, all things considered. 668 00:46:10,050 --> 00:46:11,350 - Young? - Pretty? 669 00:46:12,100 --> 00:46:13,550 Wait for the picture. 670 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,900 A radio would make them very happy. 671 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:18,600 - Ok. - Thank you. 672 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,300 You're welcome. Good-bye. 673 00:46:22,100 --> 00:46:26,900 - Maybe you could be a guest? - I'd like that. 674 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,200 22 Marcel Simon St. 675 00:46:28,350 --> 00:46:30,250 - 2 sweeties? - I have 8! 676 00:46:31,850 --> 00:46:33,150 Next. 677 00:46:44,850 --> 00:46:48,650 - Are you 18, miss? - Yes, why? 679 00:46:48,750 --> 00:46:52,200 Because of your parents. 680 00:46:52,750 --> 00:46:55,000 I have no parents. I'm all alone. 681 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,500 Yes, but aren't we all? 682 00:47:00,550 --> 00:47:02,000 Probably. 683 00:47:02,250 --> 00:47:04,000 You don't have a ... 684 00:47:04,650 --> 00:47:06,800 - No one. - Do you work? 685 00:47:06,900 --> 00:47:09,000 - Yes. - Sewing? 686 00:47:09,100 --> 00:47:11,000 No, nightclub singer. 687 00:47:12,300 --> 00:47:17,200 I've seen you perform, I'm sure of it. 688 00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:20,000 Can I meet an old man? 689 00:47:20,750 --> 00:47:25,800 Please don't panic because of the new law. 690 00:47:25,950 --> 00:47:27,750 There'll be exceptions. 691 00:47:27,950 --> 00:47:30,800 - Wait another 48 hours? - No. 693 00:47:30,900 --> 00:47:32,650 Some women might report me. 694 00:47:32,950 --> 00:47:35,800 I'd better act quickly. 695 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:37,300 As you wish. 696 00:47:39,750 --> 00:47:41,000 Yes, sir. 697 00:47:41,850 --> 00:47:43,000 Mr. Adolphe? 698 00:47:43,900 --> 00:47:45,000 Well, well. 699 00:47:46,900 --> 00:47:50,250 Could I have some cologne? 701 00:47:52,900 --> 00:47:56,850 - They don't go out? - Not unaccompanied, no. 702 00:47:57,150 --> 00:47:59,350 - They go for walks Sundays? - I think so. 703 00:47:59,550 --> 00:48:02,300 - They must like the zoo. - Very much so. 704 00:48:03,750 --> 00:48:05,000 Come in. I'm sorry! 705 00:48:05,300 --> 00:48:07,700 Not at all. Come in. 706 00:48:10,050 --> 00:48:12,100 She's so young! 707 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,850 Those eyes! Like those of a retriever! 708 00:48:28,350 --> 00:48:31,000 I'd really like to have a picture of you. 709 00:48:31,350 --> 00:48:35,200 - What else? - What else? That's all. 710 00:48:35,700 --> 00:48:36,950 You'll have it in an hour. 711 00:48:37,700 --> 00:48:39,150 With a little surprise. 712 00:48:40,650 --> 00:48:42,200 Thank you, miss. 713 00:48:45,750 --> 00:48:49,350 - Well, good-bye. - Good-bye, sir. 714 00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:57,950 He's truly adorable. 715 00:48:59,700 --> 00:49:01,300 What about the conditions? 716 00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:04,900 25,000 francs. 717 00:49:05,900 --> 00:49:08,900 5,000 for me, 20,000 for him. 718 00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:11,000 Is that Ok? 719 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:16,100 I get the feeling the others pay a little more. 720 00:49:16,900 --> 00:49:18,250 What if they did? 721 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,400 Then so be it. 722 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,400 Thank you. 723 00:49:33,850 --> 00:49:40,000 - Mine is very young and has beautiful eyes. - Tell us more. 725 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,200 Next. 726 00:49:51,500 --> 00:49:53,000 Please sit down. 727 00:50:03,750 --> 00:50:07,400 It's up to you to determine the division of property. 728 00:50:07,550 --> 00:50:08,700 Yes. 729 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:13,200 Neuilly's council favors such marriages. 730 00:50:14,500 --> 00:50:16,000 What are the conditions? 731 00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:18,500 Very reasonable. 732 00:50:19,150 --> 00:50:21,800 It'll cost you 70,000 francs in all. 733 00:50:22,100 --> 00:50:23,200 - 70,000 francs? - Yes. 734 00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:24,800 A fortune! 735 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,450 Maybe a small fortune. 736 00:50:26,550 --> 00:50:30,900 But did you calculate how much less you'll pay in taxes? 737 00:50:31,250 --> 00:50:34,400 - That's why I'm here. - I thought so. 738 00:50:34,700 --> 00:50:38,300 The sum is split between your husband and me. 739 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,800 - You're pretty, too. - Thanks. 740 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,200 Yes, sir. 741 00:50:47,900 --> 00:50:49,100 Mr. Antonin, it's your turn. 742 00:50:50,700 --> 00:50:52,000 Ready! 743 00:50:54,750 --> 00:50:56,300 You look ready, go. 744 00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:01,750 - Count Adhemar Colmbinet. - That's me! 745 00:51:02,250 --> 00:51:05,500 Let me listen to some Beethoven. 746 00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:09,600 - Sir. - Yes? 747 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:14,500 Thought yours was young? 748 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,200 Take a look at mine! 749 00:51:24,750 --> 00:51:26,250 - Delighted, madam. - Sir. 750 00:51:26,350 --> 00:51:27,500 Sit down. 751 00:51:29,900 --> 00:51:33,150 Haven't we met before? 752 00:51:33,850 --> 00:51:37,550 I don't think so. Where might we have met? 753 00:51:38,650 --> 00:51:41,200 I've often been to Dieppe. 754 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,200 I've yet to go there. 755 00:51:45,250 --> 00:51:47,200 We could honeymoon there. 756 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:48,850 That won't be necessary. 757 00:51:49,650 --> 00:51:51,250 Or much fun. 758 00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,200 Do you have a picture of you? 759 00:51:55,650 --> 00:51:57,000 Of me? 760 00:51:58,650 --> 00:52:01,200 I was just about to ask you. 761 00:52:01,300 --> 00:52:05,500 If you wish. But I need yours. 762 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,700 I'll send you mine, and a surprise. 763 00:52:09,950 --> 00:52:13,150 - Thank you. - Good-bye, sir. 764 00:52:23,900 --> 00:52:26,000 That's exactly what I wanted. 765 00:52:26,350 --> 00:52:28,000 Here's my check. 766 00:52:29,900 --> 00:52:31,000 So? 767 00:52:33,625 --> 00:52:36,800 I feel like I've just seen my wife. 768 00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:41,200 Are you sure that's Beethoven? 769 00:52:47,850 --> 00:52:49,500 The next person, please. 770 00:52:55,300 --> 00:52:59,700 - Are you the director here? - Yes, madam. I've been waiting for you. 773 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:04,750 - Waiting? - Impatiently. 774 00:53:04,850 --> 00:53:08,600 You're the reason I decided to open this home. 775 00:53:10,900 --> 00:53:13,350 We were at a restaurant. 776 00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:17,400 You were worried about the law. 777 00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,900 - That was you? - That was me. 778 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,700 Yes, that look ... 779 00:53:21,850 --> 00:53:26,700 It was hard to look at you more. 780 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,500 But impossible to look at you less. 781 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,900 - Am I free to look? - But you overdid it. 782 00:53:32,050 --> 00:53:34,750 - You over-seduced me. - Me? 783 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,000 Yes! 784 00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,100 - Was it my fault? - Was it mine? 785 00:53:38,250 --> 00:53:40,900 Why tell everyone what you think? 786 00:53:41,150 --> 00:53:43,950 - I merely responded. - Did I question you? 787 00:53:44,100 --> 00:53:46,100 You? That's all you do! 788 00:53:46,750 --> 00:53:52,100 Your eyes, hands and shoulders question me. 789 00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,100 Your back is a question mark. 790 00:53:54,350 --> 00:53:57,900 The colors you wear speak volumes. 791 00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:06,500 Your dresses inquire, your hair bellows. Your grace is eloquent. 793 00:54:06,650 --> 00:54:10,650 And yes, your hat flatters you. 794 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,800 First, you dress to kill, 795 00:54:13,900 --> 00:54:15,900 then feign surprise when others notice? 796 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:20,200 - You were lewd. - Lewd? 797 00:54:20,300 --> 00:54:22,500 Then why did you keep looking? 798 00:54:22,650 --> 00:54:25,500 - It was to shame you! - Please, madam. 799 00:54:25,900 --> 00:54:32,750 You can't shame someone who wants you. 800 00:54:34,450 --> 00:54:36,500 How some people must dislike you, 801 00:54:36,850 --> 00:54:38,450 for others to like you so much. 802 00:54:40,950 --> 00:54:45,900 And how some people must like you, for you to displease others so much. 804 00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:47,650 You're wrong. 805 00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:51,600 - You wish to become French through marriage? - Yes. 806 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:53,950 With a very old husband? 807 00:54:54,250 --> 00:54:55,500 What's very old? 808 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:58,800 Between 75 and 87. That's not very young. 809 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,750 What's young for a husband? 810 00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:03,650 It depends on the opponent. 811 00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:06,200 - Who's the opponent? - Usually the wife ... 812 00:55:06,300 --> 00:55:08,500 Now describe your husband. 813 00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:09,850 Do you have many bachelors? 814 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:14,300 Not right now. I only have 2. 815 00:55:15,100 --> 00:55:17,250 The youngest is almost 75. 816 00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,600 And the other? 817 00:55:19,850 --> 00:55:22,100 - 47 - That's not old. 818 00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:23,600 I agree. 819 00:55:23,700 --> 00:55:26,350 - Can I see his picture? - You're looking at him. 820 00:55:27,225 --> 00:55:31,900 He's French, single, and you know his feelings for you. 821 00:55:32,650 --> 00:55:34,000 I want the old man. 822 00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:36,900 How kind of you! 823 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,800 - It slipped out! - Even better. 824 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,400 Your husband was a lieutenant in the marines. 825 00:55:44,450 --> 00:55:46,400 - I don't care. - Neither do I. 826 00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:50,400 He limps slightly and suffers from memory loss. 827 00:55:50,850 --> 00:55:52,600 - Can I see him? - Right away. 828 00:55:57,850 --> 00:56:03,950 Hello. Please send me Mr. Agenor. 829 00:56:04,300 --> 00:56:05,900 Mr. Agenor. 830 00:56:08,325 --> 00:56:10,900 - What? - I'm calling you. 831 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,000 - What about us? - Wait your turn. 832 00:56:13,150 --> 00:56:15,600 It's never us. 833 00:56:16,050 --> 00:56:18,000 - Want to go instead? - Yes. 834 00:56:18,250 --> 00:56:22,000 Out of the question! You can't choose. 835 00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:24,500 I sign here? 836 00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,750 Yes, but are you Polish or Russian? 837 00:56:28,900 --> 00:56:31,000 - Polish. - Polish? 838 00:56:31,900 --> 00:56:34,950 - Let me write that. - For the forms? - Yes. 840 00:56:35,300 --> 00:56:39,350 Let's say Russian. 841 00:56:39,850 --> 00:56:41,600 - Please. - Ok. 842 00:56:43,700 --> 00:56:45,500 Now please sign. 843 00:56:48,300 --> 00:56:50,300 Come in! Your husband. 844 00:56:51,150 --> 00:56:53,350 - Hello. - Hello. 845 00:56:53,900 --> 00:56:55,300 Come in. 846 00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,000 Come, come. 847 00:57:09,750 --> 00:57:12,150 - Shall I leave you alone? - No need. 848 00:57:13,350 --> 00:57:17,850 - If you want another ... - Not at all. 849 00:57:19,900 --> 00:57:23,800 Well ... now that we've met ... 850 00:57:26,650 --> 00:57:28,400 Can I do anything for you? 851 00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:31,200 A picture, perhaps? 852 00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:36,200 Yes, a picture of you would be nice. 853 00:57:36,425 --> 00:57:38,000 All right. 854 00:57:38,750 --> 00:57:40,250 Good-bye, madam. 855 00:57:40,900 --> 00:57:42,450 See you soon. 856 00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:59,800 He didn't notice you but he'll be your husband. How wonderful! 858 00:58:03,900 --> 00:58:08,400 - Do you regret passing up a younger man? - Oh, no! 860 00:58:08,900 --> 00:58:11,150 - That makes you laugh? - Oh, yes! 861 00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:15,800 I guess you just wanted to show me your teeth. 862 00:58:15,850 --> 00:58:17,350 - So long! - Maybe. 863 00:58:18,300 --> 00:58:20,300 Curious, aren't we? 864 00:58:21,900 --> 00:58:23,400 So? 865 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:29,900 She must be Russian, with that blond hair. 866 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:31,450 She looks good. 867 00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:37,450 But I don't feel she's marrying me for love. 868 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,700 A radio for Mr. Adolphe. 869 00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:47,800 What's that? 870 00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:49,600 Next ... 871 00:58:53,100 --> 00:58:57,925 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7. That's fine. 872 00:58:58,425 --> 00:59:01,900 And if I don't get married, 873 00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,200 I don't get my 25,000. 874 00:59:04,450 --> 00:59:06,750 I know how you feel. 875 00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:15,450 ... 365,000, minus ... 876 00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:18,900 7 x 25,000 ... 877 00:59:19,725 --> 00:59:23,000 About 200,000 left. 878 00:59:23,350 --> 00:59:25,600 Not bad, with more to come. 879 00:59:29,650 --> 00:59:31,600 - The weddings ... - Tomorrow morning. 880 00:59:31,700 --> 00:59:33,500 - All 9? - All 7. 881 00:59:33,550 --> 00:59:34,600 Only 7? 882 00:59:34,700 --> 00:59:38,000 I'm keeping 2 bachelors in reserve. 883 00:59:38,325 --> 00:59:39,300 Why? 884 00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:43,000 If they all marry, can I call this a home for bachelors? 885 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,300 That's true. 886 00:59:45,550 --> 00:59:48,300 - Come in, ladies. Is everything Ok? - Yes, sir. 887 00:59:48,650 --> 00:59:50,200 - The tuxedoes have arrived. - Good. 888 00:59:50,300 --> 00:59:51,900 - It's a one-day rental. - Great. 889 00:59:52,150 --> 00:59:54,550 Mr. Agenor hasn't received his papers. 890 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,300 - Who's Agenor? - The Russian woman's husband. 891 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,900 How interesting. No papers. 892 01:00:03,150 --> 01:00:04,900 But we might be able to ... 893 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:08,000 It's Ok, I'll handle it personally ... 894 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,500 - See you tomorrow, ladies. - See you tomorrow, sir. 895 01:00:30,900 --> 01:00:33,900 - Good morning, Antonin. - Good morning, Alexandre. 896 01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:37,900 - Good morning, Agenor. - Good morning, Mr. Adhemar. 897 01:00:38,625 --> 01:00:39,700 Here! 898 01:00:40,700 --> 01:00:41,800 Hi, everybody. 899 01:00:42,850 --> 01:00:45,500 - What's that? - Your tuxedoes. 900 01:00:45,900 --> 01:00:48,900 Today's the day we're getting married! 901 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:50,500 Speak for yourself. 902 01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:52,600 You'll be next. 903 01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:54,700 That's all I hear. 904 01:00:55,325 --> 01:00:56,650 Mr. Agenor? 905 01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,000 Please go to the office. 906 01:00:58,100 --> 01:01:00,900 - I'm married already.. - For your divorce! 907 01:01:03,275 --> 01:01:06,900 - I'd like to shave. - Good idea. 908 01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:11,950 Mr. Agenor, where are your papers? 909 01:01:13,700 --> 01:01:15,900 I haven't received them, sir. 910 01:01:16,950 --> 01:01:20,100 Sounds fishy to me. Now what do I do? 911 01:01:20,300 --> 01:01:23,900 Give me Anatole's papers. He's not getting married. 912 01:01:24,100 --> 01:01:27,325 And when he does marry? And who'll get the 25,000? 913 01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,800 - Me! - Really! 914 01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:31,600 Too easy. 915 01:01:32,650 --> 01:01:34,000 So what do we do? 916 01:01:34,125 --> 01:01:36,900 I know what we'll do. 917 01:01:37,250 --> 01:01:39,400 I'll give you false papers. 918 01:01:39,500 --> 01:01:41,575 - Another name. - Good idea! 919 01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:43,950 - Don't double-cross me! - Never! 920 01:01:44,150 --> 01:01:49,650 No one must hear the name the mayor pronounces, 921 01:01:49,900 --> 01:01:51,000 especially not his age. 922 01:01:51,150 --> 01:01:52,450 The mayor's age? 923 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:57,200 No, the age of the one who's replacing you. 924 01:01:58,500 --> 01:02:02,000 - I'll make a lot of noise. - But not too much. 925 01:02:02,150 --> 01:02:04,800 - I'll start coughing. - Fine. 926 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:13,900 Why do I think we're wearing each other's tux? 927 01:02:14,850 --> 01:02:16,900 Messrs. Aristide and Anatole, please. 928 01:02:17,100 --> 01:02:18,400 Can it be? 929 01:02:19,225 --> 01:02:21,000 - We're getting married, too? - Hooray! 930 01:02:21,850 --> 01:02:23,200 Kids! 931 01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:31,400 The shoes don't fit but they add a regal air. 932 01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,250 - I don't see our wives. - No, unfortunately. 933 01:02:36,350 --> 01:02:38,750 I knew it, we're left out. 934 01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:42,400 It's true, you won't be getting married today, but ... 935 01:02:43,100 --> 01:02:46,000 - But? - I have an idea ... 936 01:03:36,100 --> 01:03:37,400 The Mayor. 937 01:03:50,300 --> 01:03:52,000 - How many? - Seven. 938 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:54,000 - What? - Seven! 939 01:03:54,300 --> 01:03:56,000 7 + 7 = 14. 940 01:03:57,450 --> 01:03:59,000 Please rise. 941 01:04:01,150 --> 01:04:04,400 - Do you take as your wife ... - Miou. 942 01:04:04,900 --> 01:04:06,200 Who's meowing? 943 01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:09,200 She isn't meowing. That's her name. 944 01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:13,300 Do you meow, I mean take Mi-ha-ou to be your wife? 945 01:04:13,650 --> 01:04:14,900 I do! 946 01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:19,200 Count Adhemar Colombinet, do you take 947 01:04:19,450 --> 01:04:23,500 Mrs. Isabelle Patureau to be your wife? 948 01:04:23,700 --> 01:04:28,000 I won't discuss the irregular circumstances of this event. 949 01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:29,600 Yes or no? 950 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,900 Yes, of course. 951 01:04:35,500 --> 01:04:38,250 - Do you ... - No, next couple. 952 01:04:38,850 --> 01:04:40,750 These serial weddings are rather odd. 953 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:46,200 Do you, madam, take Jean Lecuyer ... 954 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:49,300 I do, Mr. Mayor. 955 01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,300 Now you're married and French. 956 01:04:55,650 --> 01:04:56,900 ... lawful wedded husband? 957 01:04:56,950 --> 01:05:00,300 - I most certainly do. - How sweet! 958 01:05:00,825 --> 01:05:05,400 - Do you? - Bravely, yes! 959 01:05:05,475 --> 01:05:08,100 And I most definitely do! 960 01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:12,400 Please sign, sir, madam, witnesses. 961 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,900 Don't move. Thank you. 962 01:06:01,900 --> 01:06:03,800 - Chicken! - Pate! 963 01:06:03,900 --> 01:06:05,300 Champagne! 964 01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:33,900 Here are your 25,000 francs. 965 01:06:35,350 --> 01:06:37,400 - Mr. Athanase. - Thank you. 966 01:06:37,750 --> 01:06:39,900 - Mr. Antonin. - Thank you. 967 01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,100 - Mr. Agenor. - Thank you. 968 01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,100 - Mr. Adhemar. - Thank you. 969 01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:46,350 - Mr. Alexandre. - Thank you. 970 01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,400 - Mr. Amedee - Thank you. 971 01:06:48,650 --> 01:06:50,800 - And Mr. Adolphe. - Thank you, sir. 972 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,600 Please count it. 973 01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:55,500 It's all here. 974 01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:58,000 It's Ok? Good. 975 01:06:58,250 --> 01:07:00,000 Would Messrs. Aristide and Anatole 976 01:07:00,500 --> 01:07:04,000 kindly accept a 1,000 franc advance? 977 01:07:04,550 --> 01:07:06,200 Thank you. 978 01:07:10,950 --> 01:07:13,400 - It's all here. - Great. 980 01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:15,200 Bon appetit, gentlemen! 981 01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:21,300 So now we're married. 982 01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:23,900 We got our 25,000 francs. 983 01:07:24,100 --> 01:07:26,700 Now we can rest easy. 984 01:07:27,250 --> 01:07:29,350 We'll age quietly. 985 01:07:29,500 --> 01:07:33,650 And wait for the inevitable. 986 01:07:33,950 --> 01:07:36,700 You're prematurely dead! 987 01:07:37,100 --> 01:07:38,900 You're so upbeat! 988 01:07:38,950 --> 01:07:42,350 Still, there's some truth to it. 989 01:07:42,775 --> 01:07:44,650 I'm facing reality. 990 01:07:45,625 --> 01:07:47,300 I have no regrets. 991 01:07:47,825 --> 01:07:49,400 That's not the point. 992 01:07:49,500 --> 01:07:53,300 - What good is regretting? - It's not good. 993 01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:58,400 - The smart thing to do ... - What? 994 01:07:58,650 --> 01:08:00,900 We should simply leave! 995 01:08:02,750 --> 01:08:05,000 He just gave us 25,000. 996 01:08:05,275 --> 01:08:09,900 All the more reason! 997 01:08:10,100 --> 01:08:12,400 Would it be right? 998 01:08:12,650 --> 01:08:15,750 He said smart, not right. 999 01:08:15,900 --> 01:08:17,400 I say it again. 1000 01:08:17,700 --> 01:08:20,000 Not a bad idea. 1001 01:08:20,100 --> 01:08:23,400 - We did our duty. - We kept our word. 1002 01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,950 - We got married. - We got our 25,000. 1003 01:08:26,150 --> 01:08:30,100 - We don't know who's who. - We should enjoy ourselves. 1004 01:08:30,450 --> 01:08:32,200 I see your point. 1005 01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:34,200 What about other bachelors? 1006 01:08:34,350 --> 01:08:39,100 Maybe they'd like to get married, too. 1007 01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:42,800 You're absolutely right. 1008 01:08:43,225 --> 01:08:45,500 We must think of the others. 1009 01:08:45,700 --> 01:08:48,900 We'll surprise our wives! 1010 01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,500 What do we tell 'em? 1011 01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:53,000 - That they closed the home! - That we're homeless! 1012 01:08:53,225 --> 01:08:56,600 Wait till they find out! 1013 01:08:56,900 --> 01:08:59,000 - So we'll do it? - Let's do it! 1014 01:09:01,300 --> 01:09:02,800 What about us? 1015 01:09:05,900 --> 01:09:06,675 Those 2 ... 1016 01:09:06,700 --> 01:09:09,900 - What about us? - I think it's disgusting. 1017 01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:14,350 You got gifts and money, and now you just take off! 1018 01:09:15,900 --> 01:09:17,900 And forget about us! 1019 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:19,500 Quiet! 1020 01:09:20,550 --> 01:09:23,150 - No, sir. - We won't keep quiet! 1021 01:09:25,750 --> 01:09:28,500 Maybe there is a way. 1022 01:09:28,700 --> 01:09:34,000 When you want someone to keep quiet ... 1023 01:09:34,850 --> 01:09:37,900 A kind gesture. 1024 01:09:38,050 --> 01:09:40,000 You know what we mean ... 1025 01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:41,600 We understood. 1026 01:09:41,950 --> 01:09:44,000 2,000 francs each? 1027 01:09:44,650 --> 01:09:47,500 So 8,000, plus their 1,000. 1028 01:09:47,800 --> 01:09:49,000 Sounds good! 1029 01:09:49,250 --> 01:09:52,100 - What can the papers print? - The truth. 1030 01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:54,200 - Please! - Yes! 1031 01:10:46,950 --> 01:10:48,250 Come in. 1032 01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:53,900 What is it? 1033 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:59,100 Sir, could we have ... 1034 01:10:59,500 --> 01:11:01,850 the addresses of our wives? 1035 01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:05,250 We have a surprise for them. 1036 01:11:05,900 --> 01:11:06,900 Right away. 1037 01:11:08,900 --> 01:11:10,200 Here you go. 1038 01:11:10,675 --> 01:11:13,350 You'll give these back? 1039 01:11:13,700 --> 01:11:16,250 In 5 minutes, sir. 1040 01:11:16,675 --> 01:11:18,000 Good-bye. 1041 01:11:23,650 --> 01:11:29,300 Aren't they sweet to want to do that? 1042 01:11:33,850 --> 01:11:35,900 Yes, you're right. 1043 01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:40,200 I should warn the bachelors about reporters. 1044 01:11:40,275 --> 01:11:43,950 Come with me, we'll go talk to them right now. 1045 01:11:47,550 --> 01:11:50,100 - Where could they be? - Maybe they're resting. 1046 01:11:54,675 --> 01:11:56,000 No one! 1047 01:11:56,450 --> 01:11:58,600 They've left! 1048 01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:02,450 Those 2 ... 1049 01:12:04,850 --> 01:12:06,000 Where are they? 1050 01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:10,400 - Where were you? - In the kitchen. 1051 01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:13,400 They left in the meantime. 1052 01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:16,400 - Can it be? - Let's go! 1053 01:12:18,500 --> 01:12:20,300 Mr. Tax Man, 1054 01:12:20,500 --> 01:12:25,600 please note that this morning 1055 01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:27,500 I got married. 1056 01:12:28,850 --> 01:12:30,000 Come in! 1057 01:12:30,700 --> 01:12:31,800 What is it? 1058 01:12:32,200 --> 01:12:35,150 - Madam's husband is here. - What did you say? 1059 01:12:35,950 --> 01:12:39,300 That's what the gentleman claims, madam. 1060 01:12:39,600 --> 01:12:40,950 What's he look like? 1061 01:12:41,500 --> 01:12:42,700 Fine ... 1062 01:12:43,300 --> 01:12:44,900 ... like in his picture. 1063 01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:47,750 - Well ... - Yes. 1064 01:12:47,900 --> 01:12:49,800 Yes, what? Show him in! 1065 01:12:59,100 --> 01:13:00,350 You? 1066 01:13:00,425 --> 01:13:01,800 Yes, madam. 1067 01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:03,100 Leave us alone. 1068 01:13:05,900 --> 01:13:07,400 What happened? 1069 01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:10,100 We were kicked out. 1070 01:13:10,625 --> 01:13:13,000 I thought you'd like to know. 1071 01:13:13,900 --> 01:13:15,000 Please sit down. 1072 01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:17,300 Thank you, madam. 1073 01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:22,000 Looks good! 1074 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,000 Yes ... 1075 01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:29,900 I'm both honored and shocked. 1076 01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:34,000 When I last set foot on these grounds ... 1077 01:13:35,450 --> 01:13:37,500 You've been here before? 1078 01:13:37,700 --> 01:13:40,500 You chased me away recently. 1079 01:13:40,700 --> 01:13:45,150 - Chased you away? - Remember? 1080 01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:48,600 I begged for a handout. 1081 01:13:48,750 --> 01:13:49,900 It was you? 1082 01:13:50,100 --> 01:13:51,500 Yes, madam. 1083 01:13:51,900 --> 01:13:55,000 You married the beggar. 1084 01:13:56,600 --> 01:13:57,850 I'm sorry. 1085 01:13:58,200 --> 01:13:59,850 Mrs. Margaret Brown. 1086 01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:03,000 Small door on your left. 1087 01:14:07,800 --> 01:14:09,900 You were an accountant? 1088 01:14:10,300 --> 01:14:12,200 Yes, unfortunately. 1089 01:14:12,500 --> 01:14:14,000 What do you mean? 1090 01:14:14,225 --> 01:14:15,750 It's delicate. 1091 01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:19,500 But I can't hide it. 1092 01:14:21,050 --> 01:14:23,500 - I once committed ... - A crime? 1093 01:14:23,900 --> 01:14:25,800 Worse than a crime. 1094 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,650 An indiscretion. 1095 01:14:28,750 --> 01:14:31,900 I revealed to a close friend 1096 01:14:32,475 --> 01:14:34,100 the foolproof method 1097 01:14:34,250 --> 01:14:39,100 of concealing one's income. 1098 01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:41,100 Foolproof? 1099 01:14:41,450 --> 01:14:43,550 To conceal income. 1100 01:14:44,500 --> 01:14:46,700 It's wrong, of course. 1101 01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:49,150 But so interesting! 1102 01:14:51,900 --> 01:14:54,100 - Margaret Brown. - Why? 1103 01:14:54,900 --> 01:14:57,750 - I'd like to see her. - See her? Are you nuts? 1104 01:14:57,825 --> 01:15:00,300 No, I'm not nuts. Tell her I'm here. 1105 01:15:00,950 --> 01:15:03,000 She has 12 for dinner! 1106 01:15:04,175 --> 01:15:06,350 - You finally show up! - Me? 1107 01:15:06,525 --> 01:15:08,000 Aren't you the extra help? 1108 01:15:09,850 --> 01:15:11,100 Yes or no? 1109 01:15:11,350 --> 01:15:12,750 Yes, of course. 1110 01:15:12,900 --> 01:15:14,500 Then say so! 1111 01:15:14,650 --> 01:15:16,425 Slow down a second. 1112 01:15:16,500 --> 01:15:19,200 Don't I look the part? 1113 01:15:19,475 --> 01:15:21,050 Beautiful suit! 1114 01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:24,000 I've always enjoyed compliments. 1115 01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:25,900 You show up at 10 p.m. 1116 01:15:26,325 --> 01:15:28,200 I'll have more compliments later! 1117 01:15:28,275 --> 01:15:30,100 - How kind of you. - Come with me. 1118 01:15:33,750 --> 01:15:38,900 You're saving 23,000 francs in scheduled taxes. 1119 01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:40,400 That's great! 1120 01:15:41,900 --> 01:15:46,000 As for the land you own ... 1121 01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:50,100 - Prepare the blue room. - Yes, madam. 1122 01:15:51,225 --> 01:15:52,500 Would you like to? 1123 01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:57,250 Will you chase away beggars? 1124 01:15:58,000 --> 01:15:59,200 Never. 1125 01:16:00,200 --> 01:16:02,500 Maybe we'll get along just fine. 1126 01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:07,600 I don't see why not. 1127 01:16:08,050 --> 01:16:10,600 Now about that land I own ... 1128 01:16:15,500 --> 01:16:18,700 - The service is slow. - We have extra help now. 1129 01:16:19,075 --> 01:16:20,400 How shameful! 1130 01:16:34,950 --> 01:16:36,400 What are you doing? 1131 01:16:36,500 --> 01:16:39,500 - Saying hi. - Just serve. 1132 01:16:41,150 --> 01:16:43,250 As if I were a waiter ... 1133 01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,000 How wonderful! 1134 01:16:53,750 --> 01:16:57,850 - Hello, Miss Wife. - Keep quiet, I beg you. 1135 01:16:57,900 --> 01:17:00,300 - No one can hear me. - What are you doing here? 1136 01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:01,800 I'll explain later. 1137 01:17:01,900 --> 01:17:07,100 Please don't flirt or I'll spill gravy on him. 1138 01:17:07,500 --> 01:17:09,400 One can become jealous in a second! 1139 01:17:16,300 --> 01:17:17,450 Enough! 1140 01:17:17,700 --> 01:17:20,600 Did you see what he just said? 1141 01:17:20,800 --> 01:17:25,800 I've never seen you as beautiful as you are tonight. 1142 01:17:29,250 --> 01:17:30,300 What are you doing? 1143 01:17:30,450 --> 01:17:34,700 Did you know you can suddenly become jealous? 1144 01:17:34,800 --> 01:17:37,700 Please, not now. Pass the cheese. 1145 01:17:37,900 --> 01:17:39,200 No, you do it. 1146 01:17:39,300 --> 01:17:42,600 Handing me weapons like this one could be deadly. 1147 01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:45,500 - Are you drunk? - I wish I were. 1148 01:17:46,800 --> 01:17:49,250 The help is a real blast! 1149 01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:58,300 - Have they finished? - Just now. 1150 01:18:30,575 --> 01:18:32,400 What are you doing here? 1151 01:18:32,650 --> 01:18:34,500 I'll explain, but change your tone of voice. 1152 01:18:34,650 --> 01:18:38,400 Don't make me tell them you're my wife. 1153 01:18:39,550 --> 01:18:41,450 They closed the home tonight. 1154 01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:46,000 Shouldn't I let you know? 1155 01:18:46,150 --> 01:18:48,600 I won't cause you any trouble. 1156 01:18:49,625 --> 01:18:51,450 - A drink? - No, thanks. 1157 01:18:55,650 --> 01:18:58,900 But when you ask me what I'm doing in your home, 1158 01:18:59,800 --> 01:19:04,200 I'm tempted to answer that I am home. 1159 01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:07,700 Let's discuss it calmly, shall we? 1160 01:19:07,900 --> 01:19:10,000 - Sit down, please. - Please stand up! 1161 01:19:10,800 --> 01:19:13,050 You sit and I'll stand. 1162 01:19:14,900 --> 01:19:16,400 A cigar, please. 1163 01:19:18,900 --> 01:19:20,200 Any long ones? 1164 01:19:21,950 --> 01:19:23,100 Too bad. 1165 01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:28,850 What do you advise me to do? 1166 01:19:29,150 --> 01:19:34,000 Should I live in the country with my dowry? 1167 01:19:34,100 --> 01:19:35,900 A relative of mine owns a farm ... 1168 01:19:36,000 --> 01:19:40,500 Listen, can we talk once my guests have left? 1169 01:19:40,600 --> 01:19:42,000 - Ok. - See you later? 1170 01:19:42,100 --> 01:19:43,100 Fine. 1171 01:19:43,500 --> 01:19:46,250 No one will find out who you are? 1172 01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:48,450 I promise. 1173 01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:52,450 My wife is so pretty! 1174 01:19:53,650 --> 01:19:54,900 Come and eat. 1175 01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:56,650 - Eat? - Yes. 1176 01:19:57,200 --> 01:19:59,300 - Coming? - So then ... 1177 01:19:59,550 --> 01:20:01,200 Make up your mind. 1178 01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:05,000 - Eat where? - The kitchen, of course! 1179 01:20:06,175 --> 01:20:07,500 How nice. 1180 01:20:18,850 --> 01:20:20,100 The one and only. 1181 01:20:29,800 --> 01:20:31,000 Yes, that's right. 1182 01:20:32,400 --> 01:20:36,550 Admit that you've never waited on anyone before. 1183 01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:38,050 I admit it. 1184 01:20:38,125 --> 01:20:39,900 You're amazing. 1185 01:20:40,200 --> 01:20:43,750 He's all thumbs and he makes strange faces. 1186 01:20:44,000 --> 01:20:47,100 Luckily, the Duke didn't notice you. 1187 01:20:48,200 --> 01:20:50,750 - The Duke? - Her lover, facing her. 1189 01:20:51,400 --> 01:20:55,300 - Her love is a duke? - What did you think? 1191 01:20:56,100 --> 01:20:59,400 - Does the duke sleep here? - Of course. 1192 01:20:59,800 --> 01:21:03,050 He gives her 100,000 a month, so what do you expect? 1193 01:21:03,575 --> 01:21:04,650 100,000? 1194 01:21:04,750 --> 01:21:06,350 She's quite a number! 1195 01:21:07,750 --> 01:21:11,000 - They get along well? - Very well. 1196 01:21:12,600 --> 01:21:13,850 They get along well? 1197 01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:15,900 Yes, why? 1198 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:19,000 I'm just asking ... 1199 01:21:19,575 --> 01:21:21,700 Margaret, come here, dear. 1200 01:21:22,150 --> 01:21:24,425 You're nervous, what's wrong? 1201 01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:27,000 - Nothing. - Margaret! 1202 01:21:27,600 --> 01:21:29,250 Margaret, you're hiding something. 1203 01:21:30,900 --> 01:21:34,900 What were you telling the waiter earlier? 1204 01:21:35,175 --> 01:21:37,200 - Me? - Yes, you! 1205 01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,200 You were alone for at least 3 minutes. 1206 01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:41,550 Don't exaggerate. 1207 01:21:41,850 --> 01:21:45,100 What could we have in common? Let me go! 1208 01:21:46,800 --> 01:21:48,100 Please answer me. 1209 01:21:48,500 --> 01:21:51,000 All right, let's clear the table. 1210 01:21:51,550 --> 01:21:53,800 You really want to know? 1211 01:21:53,900 --> 01:21:55,400 Yes, tell me. 1212 01:21:55,500 --> 01:21:56,900 - Too bad for you. - Go ahead. 1213 01:21:57,000 --> 01:21:58,700 I married him this morning. 1214 01:21:58,850 --> 01:22:01,900 - Married? Him? - To stay in Paris. 1215 01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:04,900 And become French. You won't marry me. 1216 01:22:05,575 --> 01:22:07,300 - Who is he? - I don't know. 1217 01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:09,600 Leave me now if you wish. 1218 01:22:09,900 --> 01:22:13,500 How could you be so foolish? 1219 01:22:13,600 --> 01:22:16,600 He'll try to blackmail you. 1220 01:22:18,350 --> 01:22:20,000 Shall I carry away the liquor? 1221 01:22:20,200 --> 01:22:20,950 Yes. 1222 01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:23,650 - Would the duke like some? - No, thank you. 1223 01:22:24,550 --> 01:22:26,925 I'm sorry I arrived late. 1224 01:22:27,250 --> 01:22:28,850 That's all right. 1225 01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:33,825 I hope you'll use my services again next time. 1226 01:22:33,950 --> 01:22:38,400 You're very diplomatic, but I know everything. 1227 01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:39,950 He does? 1228 01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:43,150 I told him about us. 1229 01:22:44,950 --> 01:22:51,850 Is this some kind of joke? What's going on? 1230 01:22:53,200 --> 01:22:54,900 ... Did you marry each other or not? 1231 01:22:56,800 --> 01:22:59,650 Us? Married? No, sir. 1232 01:22:59,900 --> 01:23:04,300 You see, I'm married already. 1233 01:23:04,650 --> 01:23:08,400 If you married someone this morning, it wasn't me. 1234 01:23:08,875 --> 01:23:10,150 Who's fooling who? 1235 01:23:10,350 --> 01:23:12,450 You're somebody's fool, sir. 1236 01:23:12,800 --> 01:23:15,800 - Why did you lie to me? - To upset you, sir. 1237 01:23:16,900 --> 01:23:19,550 Women have weird ideas. 1238 01:23:19,750 --> 01:23:23,000 If she'd married someone like me, 1239 01:23:23,500 --> 01:23:25,900 would she admit it? 1240 01:23:26,200 --> 01:23:28,175 What's to brag about? 1241 01:23:29,700 --> 01:23:30,900 Chartreuse? Kummel? 1242 01:23:34,500 --> 01:23:35,700 Yes, a drop. 1243 01:23:36,900 --> 01:23:39,300 Let's drink to your health, 1244 01:23:39,850 --> 01:23:41,600 to the Duke's, 1245 01:23:42,550 --> 01:23:44,000 and especially mine. 1246 01:23:48,875 --> 01:23:50,100 Good-bye, miss. 1247 01:23:51,800 --> 01:23:54,750 The 3 of them are drinking! 1248 01:23:55,900 --> 01:23:58,100 He knows how to put on an act. 1249 01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:45,100 Mrs. Consuelo Rodriguez, or, to be exact, Mrs. Athanase Outriquet. 1250 01:24:45,500 --> 01:24:47,900 - Yes, sir. - Can I see her? 1251 01:24:48,350 --> 01:24:49,850 To order guano? 1252 01:24:51,100 --> 01:24:54,800 I didn't come for guano. I came for her. 1253 01:24:54,950 --> 01:24:56,250 Who are you, sir? 1254 01:24:56,950 --> 01:25:01,000 In all modesty, I'm her husband. 1255 01:25:01,400 --> 01:25:02,800 That's who I am. 1256 01:25:02,900 --> 01:25:04,200 - Her husband? - My God! 1257 01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:06,100 - She's dead? - On the contrary. 1258 01:25:06,650 --> 01:25:10,200 - What do you mean? - She'll be so happy! 1259 01:25:11,500 --> 01:25:12,600 Mother! 1260 01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:17,000 - My husband! - Yes, Mother. 1261 01:25:17,450 --> 01:25:21,850 I'm so happy to see you. They let you out? 1262 01:25:22,000 --> 01:25:23,800 - Forever. - What? 1263 01:25:23,950 --> 01:25:26,900 They closed the home. 1264 01:25:27,000 --> 01:25:29,450 - So you're free? - Totally. 1265 01:25:29,550 --> 01:25:32,400 - I can keep you? - Yes, madam. 1266 01:25:32,750 --> 01:25:35,300 What luck, what joy! 1267 01:25:35,600 --> 01:25:38,200 We'll pamper him. 1268 01:25:38,350 --> 01:25:41,400 He'll sleep next to me in my boudoir. 1269 01:25:41,850 --> 01:25:42,800 Did you eat? 1270 01:25:42,950 --> 01:25:46,950 I eat sometimes. Today, not yet. 1271 01:25:47,550 --> 01:25:51,700 - Come quickly! - We didn't eat either! 1272 01:25:51,850 --> 01:25:53,600 He must be hungrier than you! 1273 01:26:04,600 --> 01:26:05,700 Sit down. 1274 01:26:08,500 --> 01:26:10,400 This is very good wine. 1275 01:26:11,900 --> 01:26:15,500 First, a little foie gras. 1276 01:26:15,800 --> 01:26:19,450 Make him a large omelet. 1277 01:26:19,900 --> 01:26:22,500 We have chicken, ham and carrots. 1278 01:26:22,650 --> 01:26:26,200 Chicken, ham, carrots. Do you like salads? 1279 01:26:26,325 --> 01:26:29,100 Oh, yes, madam. I like all salads! 1280 01:26:29,250 --> 01:26:32,750 Don't call me madam! I'm Consuelo. 1281 01:26:32,900 --> 01:26:37,950 Soon, your very own Consuelo! 1282 01:26:38,750 --> 01:26:42,000 Won't they be surprised! 1283 01:26:43,350 --> 01:26:44,600 Who's "they"? 1284 01:26:46,350 --> 01:26:48,750 My daughter's husbands. 1285 01:26:48,900 --> 01:26:55,050 They married and became French before I did. 1286 01:26:55,600 --> 01:26:57,800 Would you like to take a shower? 1287 01:26:58,400 --> 01:27:00,200 - A what? - A shower. 1288 01:27:01,300 --> 01:27:04,850 I can't start showering at my age. 1289 01:27:05,200 --> 01:27:08,500 - Prepare his room. - I just did, Mom. 1290 01:27:08,850 --> 01:27:11,150 - Here's the omelet. - A shower ... 1291 01:27:11,750 --> 01:27:16,300 I'll serve. Oh, my own man! 1292 01:27:23,875 --> 01:27:27,300 Here come my sons-in-law. 1293 01:27:31,700 --> 01:27:32,850 What is it? 1294 01:27:33,100 --> 01:27:36,000 Why did you suddenly stand? 1295 01:27:38,250 --> 01:27:41,000 - They're my sons-in-law? - Yes! 1296 01:27:42,325 --> 01:27:46,000 I've met them before. This is a cold shower! 1297 01:27:46,400 --> 01:27:50,750 Meet my husband, your father-in-law. 1298 01:27:51,100 --> 01:27:52,850 Well, well, well. 1299 01:27:53,175 --> 01:27:56,200 - Isn't this our blind friend? - Sure looks like him. 1300 01:27:56,500 --> 01:27:57,500 - Hello, dear. - Hi. 1301 01:27:57,600 --> 01:27:58,800 Hi, Albert. 1302 01:27:59,450 --> 01:28:01,600 - Hi. - Hi, Al...bert. 1303 01:28:02,800 --> 01:28:09,250 Let's all sit down together like one big family. 1304 01:28:09,600 --> 01:28:11,325 What do you like for breakfast? 1305 01:28:11,950 --> 01:28:14,200 I used to have tea. 1306 01:28:14,525 --> 01:28:17,300 For a while I had only bread. 1307 01:28:17,700 --> 01:28:22,700 At the home we had coffee, but I like hot chocolate. 1308 01:28:23,150 --> 01:28:26,550 - Do you like jam? - I like all jams. 1309 01:28:26,625 --> 01:28:30,800 - He'll put on at least 25 lbs. - Where? 1310 01:28:31,250 --> 01:28:33,100 Do you like the great outdoors? 1311 01:28:33,300 --> 01:28:34,300 Do I ever! 1312 01:28:34,775 --> 01:28:39,650 On Sunday, we'll all go to Ville-d'Avray. 1313 01:28:39,800 --> 01:28:41,500 - All of us? - All of us. 1314 01:28:41,650 --> 01:28:42,800 Pass the plate. 1315 01:28:43,850 --> 01:28:45,400 - Proceed! - Move along! 1316 01:28:49,225 --> 01:28:50,800 Talk about a one-track mind! 1317 01:28:51,075 --> 01:28:53,400 - Like anything else? - No. 1318 01:28:53,650 --> 01:28:54,800 You look worried. 1319 01:28:55,525 --> 01:28:58,100 I'm not worried ... 1320 01:28:59,750 --> 01:29:02,400 But I'd like to speak to you privately. 1321 01:29:03,150 --> 01:29:05,750 Not your Consuelo? 1322 01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:08,400 No. Her, please. 1323 01:29:08,825 --> 01:29:11,000 Could I talk to you for 2 minutes? 1324 01:29:12,700 --> 01:29:15,700 - Come, come. - What's with him? 1325 01:29:15,900 --> 01:29:18,750 What is he doing? I don't understand. 1326 01:29:22,750 --> 01:29:23,950 I'm listening. 1327 01:29:24,300 --> 01:29:25,850 I want to talk to you outside. 1328 01:29:44,050 --> 01:29:52,000 I've brought you here, dear, so you can understand 1329 01:29:52,225 --> 01:29:56,750 my feelings in my own surroundings. 1330 01:29:57,625 --> 01:30:02,900 Thank your mom for me, for she's very sweet and kind. 1331 01:30:03,075 --> 01:30:06,300 You're all very sweet. 1332 01:30:06,700 --> 01:30:10,000 But it's too much for me. 1333 01:30:11,000 --> 01:30:12,450 Sleeping in a boudoir, 1334 01:30:12,800 --> 01:30:15,400 eating like a king, 1335 01:30:15,700 --> 01:30:17,900 and showering every day is great. 1336 01:30:18,375 --> 01:30:22,200 In fact, it's wonderful. 1337 01:30:24,500 --> 01:30:29,400 But freedom is much better than all that. 1338 01:30:30,750 --> 01:30:32,150 If only you knew ... 1339 01:30:32,650 --> 01:30:35,400 Please don't be offended, 1340 01:30:35,525 --> 01:30:40,900 but I can't have cops as family! 1341 01:30:41,550 --> 01:30:43,100 There's just no way! 1342 01:30:43,500 --> 01:30:48,625 Picture them on either side of me. 1343 01:30:48,850 --> 01:30:52,075 People would think I was being arrested. 1344 01:30:54,750 --> 01:30:57,000 I must bid you farewell, my dear. 1345 01:30:59,400 --> 01:31:05,100 Be happy and may your mother please forgive me. 1346 01:31:06,850 --> 01:31:08,300 I love foggy weather ... 1347 01:31:37,800 --> 01:31:41,000 This is the classiest nightclub in Paris. 1348 01:31:41,350 --> 01:31:45,800 The prison motif is very original. 1349 01:31:54,800 --> 01:31:56,800 Reserve this table for me every night. 1350 01:31:56,850 --> 01:31:58,475 - Certainly, sir. - Thank you. 1351 01:31:59,725 --> 01:32:00,750 Come in. 1352 01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:04,100 - Again? - Still. 1353 01:32:04,250 --> 01:32:05,800 - No name? - Never. 1354 01:32:06,225 --> 01:32:07,500 Every day for a week. 1355 01:32:07,600 --> 01:32:10,350 You don't know who they might be from? 1356 01:32:10,750 --> 01:32:12,350 I'm afraid I don't. 1357 01:32:12,725 --> 01:32:16,500 There's a young man outside the room. 1358 01:32:16,775 --> 01:32:18,800 - You think so? - I know so. 1359 01:32:19,400 --> 01:32:22,450 - He told you? - He begged me to tell you. 1360 01:32:24,500 --> 01:32:26,900 - He's very presentable. - Good for him. 1361 01:32:29,000 --> 01:32:33,350 Did you know I burst in here to say, "I love you"? 1362 01:32:33,725 --> 01:32:37,200 Did you know I don't approve of what you did? 1363 01:32:37,650 --> 01:32:39,925 Do I need to leave? 1364 01:32:40,500 --> 01:32:42,300 Do I need to tell you? 1365 01:32:42,700 --> 01:32:45,150 Do I need to stay? 1366 01:32:55,225 --> 01:32:57,100 - Still upset? - No. 1367 01:32:58,150 --> 01:32:59,800 But I'm not sure about this. 1368 01:33:00,100 --> 01:33:03,550 Well, you're wrong. And I'm dead serious. 1369 01:33:03,900 --> 00:33:04,900 I know. 1370 01:33:05,350 --> 01:33:06,800 That's the problem. 1371 01:33:07,775 --> 01:33:09,200 Take your time. 1372 01:33:10,300 --> 01:33:13,800 You have all of mine. I must go now. 1373 01:33:13,925 --> 01:33:15,200 I'm up next. 1374 01:33:15,950 --> 01:33:21,250 "Yes", I'll be back, "no", I'll disappear. 1375 01:33:21,450 --> 01:33:24,000 - Forever? - Forever, until tomorrow. 1377 01:33:26,000 --> 01:33:28,250 Here's my card. See you later. 1378 01:33:31,000 --> 01:33:34,250 - Are you a foreigner? - American, why? 1379 01:33:34,475 --> 01:33:37,650 I heard you were concerned. 1380 01:33:39,500 --> 01:33:40,750 And so? I'm French. 1381 01:33:40,800 --> 01:33:43,800 If you marry a Frenchman, you become French. 1382 01:33:44,125 --> 01:33:47,000 - Why tell me that? - Because I love you. 1383 01:34:06,900 --> 01:34:09,400 Our American songstress ... 1384 01:34:12,550 --> 01:34:15,600 - Is she black? - No, wait. 1385 01:34:23,625 --> 01:34:26,200 Are you kidding? She's at least 20! 1386 01:34:26,750 --> 01:34:28,150 It's possible, I guess. 1387 01:34:28,550 --> 01:34:30,900 You told me she was just a child. 1388 01:37:11,650 --> 01:37:14,900 - I asked for a stein. - We don't serve beer. 1389 01:37:15,150 --> 01:37:17,200 Just as well ... 1390 01:37:38,800 --> 01:37:40,000 Come in. 1391 01:37:46,500 --> 01:37:48,950 - You're crying! - Yes, I'm sorry. 1392 01:37:49,900 --> 01:37:51,100 Why? 1393 01:37:52,100 --> 01:37:55,300 - I can't tell you. - But you must! 1394 01:37:56,025 --> 01:38:00,800 I don't want you to cry. Talk to me. 1395 01:38:01,375 --> 01:38:06,200 - Why are you here? - They closed down the home. 1396 01:38:06,500 --> 01:38:07,750 Oh my! 1397 01:38:10,200 --> 01:38:11,800 I came at a bad time? 1398 01:38:12,200 --> 01:38:15,900 - It isn't a good time. - I understand. 1399 01:38:17,100 --> 01:38:19,000 - He's charming. - Isn't he? 1400 01:38:20,600 --> 01:38:23,500 - Almost as handsome as me. - Almost. 1401 01:38:24,900 --> 01:38:27,950 - Is he serious about you? - Yes! 1402 01:38:31,900 --> 01:38:35,500 - Then our marriage is a terrible thing! - Yes. 1403 01:38:35,700 --> 01:38:38,350 I'm sorry. It's not a nice thing to say. 1404 01:38:38,500 --> 01:38:40,000 - It doesn't matter. - Really? 1405 01:38:41,950 --> 01:38:44,000 Maybe we can make an arrangement. 1406 01:38:44,300 --> 01:38:46,650 - You think so? - I hope so. 1407 01:38:46,900 --> 01:38:48,750 But I wouldn't ... 1408 01:38:50,025 --> 01:38:52,900 ... want to lose you forever. - Neither would I. 1409 01:38:53,700 --> 01:38:55,900 You needn't worry, but me ... 1410 01:38:58,525 --> 01:39:00,600 Do your parents know you got married? 1411 01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:02,500 I have no parents. 1412 01:39:03,625 --> 01:39:05,200 My mother died 3 years ago. 1413 01:39:06,625 --> 01:39:07,900 And your father? 1414 01:39:08,000 --> 01:39:10,600 I don't know. I never met him. 1415 01:39:11,650 --> 01:39:18,000 - So you're all alone? - Yes, among so many people. 1417 01:39:18,625 --> 01:39:20,000 You poor dear! 1418 01:39:21,600 --> 01:39:22,900 He's here again! 1419 01:39:23,000 --> 01:39:25,200 - Tell him to go! - Yes, miss ... 1420 01:39:37,750 --> 01:39:40,600 That says it all! 1421 01:39:41,850 --> 01:39:43,000 Introduce me. 1422 01:39:45,800 --> 01:39:47,400 Mr. Michel Servais. 1423 01:39:48,900 --> 01:39:50,200 - My ... - Your father. 1424 01:39:50,300 --> 01:39:51,500 - No! - Yes! 1425 01:39:51,900 --> 01:39:53,050 My father. 1426 01:39:54,750 --> 01:39:59,500 Aren't you going to ask me for my daughter's hand? 1427 01:39:59,800 --> 01:40:01,700 Sir, I'm asking for it. 1428 01:40:01,900 --> 01:40:03,700 Sir, I'm granting it to you. 1429 01:40:05,950 --> 01:40:09,800 I'll divorce you and give you away. 1430 01:40:11,600 --> 01:40:13,200 What do you say? 1431 01:40:14,825 --> 01:40:16,300 Thanks, Daddy! 1432 01:40:21,550 --> 01:40:23,500 - Aha! - What? 1433 01:40:25,600 --> 01:40:27,250 - Good luck. - Good luck. 1434 01:40:31,825 --> 01:40:33,400 I'm off to a good start! 1435 01:40:40,900 --> 01:40:42,700 - The lady of the house is here? - Yes, sir. 1436 01:40:42,800 --> 01:40:45,400 - Tell her I'm here. - There's no need, sir. 1437 01:40:45,500 --> 01:40:47,750 - There's no need? - No, just follow me. 1438 01:41:10,950 --> 01:41:12,450 The young ladies are coming. 1439 01:41:13,200 --> 01:41:14,450 The young ladies? 1440 01:41:39,550 --> 01:41:41,800 They're all so pretty! 1441 01:41:44,550 --> 01:41:46,600 - Here comes Mother. - Mother? 1442 01:41:48,475 --> 01:41:49,825 Look at this! 1443 01:41:49,900 --> 01:41:52,400 - You? - Yes, me! 1444 01:41:52,850 --> 01:41:57,400 Our home was closed and we have nowhere to go. 1445 01:41:58,200 --> 01:42:00,800 So we're all showing up at our wives' homes! 1446 01:42:04,750 --> 01:42:07,250 - Isn't this a surprise? - It sure is ... 1447 01:42:12,500 --> 01:42:16,750 And the most amazing thing is that these are your girls! 1448 01:42:16,900 --> 01:42:19,700 - Huh? - Your beautiful girls! 1450 01:42:20,000 --> 01:42:22,900 She hadn't told me! 1451 01:42:25,775 --> 01:42:28,650 Come kiss your new daddy! 1452 01:42:30,900 --> 01:42:35,800 My dears, my children! 1453 01:42:40,150 --> 01:42:42,900 I see you've traveled. 1454 01:42:43,300 --> 01:42:46,200 She's conspicuous but very pretty. 1455 01:42:46,800 --> 01:42:48,400 Let me guess. 1456 01:42:48,850 --> 01:42:51,200 Madagascar? Morocco? 1457 01:42:51,500 --> 01:42:52,550 Dakar. 1458 01:42:52,600 --> 01:42:53,800 Long live France! 1459 01:42:56,300 --> 01:42:58,800 They're all beautiful, yet different. 1460 01:42:59,000 --> 01:43:03,900 What a life you must have led! 1461 01:43:04,100 --> 01:43:06,900 And they're all so very modest! 1462 01:43:07,500 --> 01:43:09,300 A father knows everything! 1463 01:43:09,900 --> 01:43:12,000 They're well behaved. Congratulations! 1464 01:43:12,950 --> 01:43:16,400 - None is married yet? - No, none. 1465 01:43:16,850 --> 01:43:19,400 Let's work on it right now. 1466 01:43:20,000 --> 01:43:22,700 They need good husbands. 1467 01:43:23,150 --> 01:43:24,400 Tell me ... 1468 01:43:25,350 --> 01:43:26,500 Sit down. 1469 01:43:27,250 --> 01:43:29,400 Do you ... Where are you? 1470 01:43:30,500 --> 01:43:31,700 Let's change seats. 1471 01:43:32,950 --> 01:43:34,600 As I was saying ... 1472 01:43:36,200 --> 01:43:38,300 Don't move. Wait for me. 1473 01:43:39,650 --> 01:43:40,925 I've got you! 1474 01:43:41,000 --> 01:43:44,900 - Do you entertain often? - Yes, all the time. - Good! 1476 01:43:44,950 --> 01:43:48,750 - You have to show them off. - Don't worry about that! 1477 01:43:48,950 --> 01:43:54,200 Rather than choosing, they get to be chosen. 1478 01:43:54,600 --> 01:43:56,200 That's my policy. 1479 01:44:01,000 --> 01:44:03,200 - Two men are here. - Guests, no doubt. 1480 01:44:03,900 --> 01:44:06,000 - Show them in. - No, let's go. 1481 01:44:06,500 --> 01:44:08,100 - Think so? - Definitely. 1482 01:44:08,275 --> 01:44:09,550 All right. 1483 01:44:10,250 --> 01:44:12,250 Children, be gracious hosts. 1484 01:44:13,300 --> 01:44:15,100 - And remember to behave. - Go! 1486 01:44:43,000 --> 01:44:44,600 Her name's Mi-ha-ou! 1487 01:45:59,750 --> 01:46:03,450 I'm offering you both a 3-year contract! 1488 01:46:18,900 --> 01:46:20,350 May I help you, sir? 1489 01:46:20,900 --> 01:46:23,200 I'd like a word with my wife. 1490 01:46:23,400 --> 01:46:24,600 Your wife? 1491 01:46:25,000 --> 01:46,26,000 Excuse me. 1492 01:46:26,900 --> 01:46:30,800 - Is this the home of Stacia Batchefskaia? - Yes, sir. 1494 01:46:31,000 --> 01:46:33,400 Her husband would like to see her. 1495 01:46:33,650 --> 01:46:36,000 - Her husband? - Yes, please. 1496 01:46:36,800 --> 01:46:39,000 Don't argue and go get her. 1497 01:46:49,400 --> 01:46:51,900 She spoils herself! 1498 01:46:52,300 --> 01:46:53,400 Come in. 1499 01:46:54,825 --> 01:46:57,100 The Countess's husband is here. 1500 01:46:57,400 --> 01:46:58,500 My husband? 1501 01:47:00,350 --> 01:47:02,100 This is some sort of joke. 1502 01:47:02,450 --> 01:47:03,450 I hope so. 1503 01:47:03,500 --> 01:47:05,000 - Where is he? - In the entranceway. 1504 01:47:06,900 --> 01:47:08,700 What's going on here? 1505 01:47:10,825 --> 01:47:12,000 A horrible man! 1506 01:47:21,800 --> 01:47:25,900 - I know him. He's very sick. - So that's it! 1507 01:47:26,000 --> 01:47:27,850 I send him money. 1508 01:47:28,000 --> 01:47:29,900 Tell him I'm leaving tonight. 1509 01:47:30,000 --> 01:47:32,800 But that I'll write him upon my return. 1510 01:47:32,850 --> 01:47:33,900 Yes, madam. 1511 01:47:35,425 --> 01:47:41,000 The poor guy thinks we're married because I help him. 1512 01:47:41,750 --> 01:47:45,000 You expect me to buy that? 1513 01:47:45,325 --> 01:47:47,950 If she left, why'd you go upstairs? 1514 01:47:49,350 --> 01:47:51,000 Now he's starting to scream! 1515 01:47:52,200 --> 01:47:54,100 Nicolas could throw him out. 1516 01:47:54,250 --> 01:47:57,550 He might go over the edge ... 1517 01:47:57,750 --> 01:48:00,000 Maybe madam is afraid? 1518 01:48:01,000 --> 01:48:02,950 Yes, I am afraid. 1519 01:48:04,900 --> 01:48:07,300 We're expecting the master! 1520 01:48:07,600 --> 01:48:11,100 In that case, why not talk to him for a minute? 1521 01:48:11,500 --> 01:48:15,300 - You think so? - I think it's a way out. 1522 01:48:15,675 --> 01:48:18,000 I think you're right! 1523 01:48:19,350 --> 01:48:20,600 He won't leave. 1524 01:48:20,800 --> 01:48:22,800 He says he'll wait for you downstairs. 1525 01:48:22,925 --> 01:48:24,400 Tell him I'll see him. 1526 01:48:24,750 --> 01:48:27,200 When I come out, you'll bring him in. 1527 01:48:27,750 --> 01:48:28,800 In here? 1528 01:48:28,850 --> 01:48:31,700 Yes, in here, please. 1529 01:48:32,300 --> 01:48:36,200 - My jewelry! - Here's your jewelry, madam. 1530 01:48:36,350 --> 01:48:37,625 My poor Clementine. 1531 01:48:37,700 --> 01:48:41,000 Shall I stay? You never know ... 1532 01:48:41,125 --> 01:48:44,500 - This is so awkward. - I understand, madam. 1533 01:48:44,775 --> 01:48:47,025 But madam knows I'm discreet. 1534 01:48:47,225 --> 01:48:50,200 And if madam has made a mistake, 1535 01:48:50,325 --> 01:48:53,500 she shouldn't allow him to blackmail madam. 1536 01:48:53,525 --> 01:48:58,900 - That's what I fear! - Then I'll stay! I'll be a witness. 1538 01:48:59,000 --> 01:49:01,300 You're right! Hide behind the curtains. 1539 01:49:01,525 --> 01:49:04,900 - You'll come to my rescue. - Don't worry, I'm strong! 1540 01:49:05,225 --> 01:49:08,300 - Let's hope nothing happens. - That'd almost be a shame! 1541 01:49:11,575 --> 01:49:14,450 You wish to avoid me that much? 1542 01:49:15,900 --> 01:49:17,550 I don't take it badly. 1543 01:49:19,825 --> 01:49:21,350 I mean you no harm. 1544 01:49:22,200 --> 01:49:25,900 But they closed the home. 1545 01:49:26,700 --> 01:49:28,100 So now I'm homeless. 1546 01:49:28,725 --> 01:49:30,900 You owe me nothing! 1547 01:49:31,700 --> 01:49:33,550 In your best interests, maybe no one should 1548 01:49:33,700 --> 01:49:39,900 find out that the husband of Countess Batchefskaia ... 1549 01:49:41,400 --> 01:49:42,900 Her husband! 1550 01:49:43,400 --> 01:49:44,950 - You old scoundrel! - Clementine! 1551 01:49:45,000 --> 01:49:48,750 I can't take it! How dare you! 1553 01:49:48,825 --> 01:49:50,600 Take this! And that! 1554 01:49:50,900 --> 01:49:54,350 - Clementine, don't hit him! - You're her husband, right? 1555 01:49:55,000 --> 01:49:56,250 He is my husband! 1556 01:49:56,300 --> 01:49:59,000 Believe me, madam, he's not your husband! 1557 01:49:59,300 --> 01:50:03,800 - I swear he is! - How? He's my husband! 1558 01:50:03,950 --> 01:50:04,950 What? 1559 01:50:05,000 --> 01:50:08,775 He left me 11 years ago and never came back! 1560 01:50:08,825 --> 01:50:12,300 Did you find any matches? You old skunk! 1561 01:50:12,400 --> 01:50:18,000 When he says he's your husband, I have to laugh. 1562 01:50:18,050 --> 01:50:19,900 You wanted to blackmail her. 1563 01:50:20,100 --> 01:50:22,350 Then madam claims he's her husband! 1564 01:50:22,550 --> 01:50:25,950 He married me this morning! 1565 01:50:26,800 --> 01:50:28,050 What? 1566 01:50:32,400 --> 01:50:33,950 It's the master! 1567 01:50:34,800 --> 01:50:36,450 Countess Batchefskaia. 1568 01:50:36,725 --> 01:50:39,000 - Who shall I announce? - Her husband. 1569 01:50:39,400 --> 01:50:40,500 What? 1570 01:50:40,800 --> 01:50:44,700 - I married to become French. - How much did madam pay? 1571 01:50:44,800 --> 01:50:46,900 50,000 francs. He gets half. 1572 01:50:48,000 --> 01:50:49,550 Keep quiet! 1573 01:50:51,400 --> 01:50:52,500 Come in. 1574 01:50:53,850 --> 01:50:54,900 What is it? 1575 01:50:55,350 --> 01:50:58,350 Madam, it's another husband. 1576 01:50:58,650 --> 01:51:01,000 - What's going on? - I wish I knew, madam. 1577 01:51:01,900 --> 01:51:03,250 What does he look like? 1578 01:51:03,650 --> 01:51:06,600 Well, this one's not bad. 1579 01:51:07,700 --> 01:51:12,650 If this keeps up, dare I say, the next one will be perfect! 1581 01:51:12,750 --> 01:51:14,125 What did he tell you? 1582 01:51:14,250 --> 01:51:18,700 ... on behalf of madam's husband, he runs a home ... 1583 01:51:21,300 --> 01:51:25,750 - But he's not my husband? - He seemed to imply he was. 1584 01:51:26,450 --> 01:51:28,000 I understand everything. 1585 01:51:28,400 --> 01:51:30,050 I envy madam. 1586 01:51:30,550 --> 01:51:32,250 - Show him in. - Yes, madam. 1587 01:51:33,500 --> 01:51:35,000 Perfect timing! 1588 01:51:35,550 --> 01:51:37,900 I'll leave you two alone ... 1589 01:51:37,950 --> 01:51:39,350 No, stay! 1590 01:51:39,825 --> 01:51:42,450 Give me a moment with him? 1591 01:51:43,425 --> 01:51:45,000 Absolutely not! 1592 01:51:45,800 --> 01:51:48,200 - Is madam alone? - No, sir. 1593 01:51:53,100 --> 01:51:55,700 - Good evening, madam. - Good evening, sir. 1594 01:51:56,150 --> 01:51:59,500 There he is! I knew it. 1595 01:51:59,550 -->01:52:05,200 Maybe the others tried the same stunt, but you knew you couldn't! 1597 01:52:05,250 --> 01:52:08,950 What you did is very, very wrong! 1598 01:52:09,950 --> 01:52:11,300 And what you did is right? 1599 01:52:11,500 --> 01:52:12,700 What did I do? 1600 01:52:13,775 --> 01:52:18,000 You had the nerve to make me marry my maid's husband. 1601 01:52:18,550 --> 01:52:20,850 He was already married, so now he's a bigamist. 1602 01:52:20,900 --> 01:52:21,900 No, madam. 1603 01:52:21,950 --> 01:52:23,800 - He's not a bigamist? - No, madam. 1604 01:52:24,000 --> 01:52:26,900 - So I'm not French? - Yes, madam. 1605 01:52:27,575 --> 01:52:28,800 I was married this morning? 1606 01:52:28,900 --> 01:52:31,900 Yes, but you didn't marry him. 1607 01:52:32,000 --> 01:52:33,850 He didn't have his papers. 1608 01:52:33,900 --> 01:52:40,500 At the last minute, I found a kind soul 1609 01:52:40,550 --> 01:52:42,450 who agreed to a substitution. 1610 01:52:42,600 --> 01:52:45,150 Gallant men still exist! 1611 01:52:45,300 --> 01:52:48,400 Another old Frenchman, then? 1612 01:52:48,525 --> 01:52:53,000 A younger Frenchman who happened to be available. 1613 01:52:53,150 --> 01:52:56,300 Promise me I'm French? 1614 01:52:57,375 --> 01:52:58,500 I promise. 1615 01:52:58,750 --> 01:53:00,200 That's great! 1616 01:53:00,600 --> 01:53:02,000 I'm sorry I was so curt. 1617 01:53:02,250 --> 01:53:04,500 I expected it. 1618 01:53:06,225 --> 01:53:08,900 - I'm sorry. Sit down. - Thanks. 1619 01:53:09,700 --> 01:53:11,100 Not you! 1620 01:53:11,500 --> 01:53:14,700 Now give me the 25,000 francs. 1621 01:53:14,900 --> 01:53:21,000 I worked hard for 11 years, while you did nothing! 1623 01:53:21,400 --> 01:53:24,800 - So, my husband ... - Yes, dear? I mean, madam. 1624 01:53:25,575 --> 01:53:29,700 - What's his name? - His name is Jean Lecuyer. (arguing in background) 1625 01:53:32,900 --> 01:53:34,800 - Wait a second ... - Yes? 1626 01:53:35,150 --> 01:53:37,550 He's going to show up here? 1627 01:53:37,750 --> 01:53:41,950 - No, he no longer needs to come. - Are you sure? 1628 01:53:42,000 --> 01:53:46,600 Yes. Believe me, no one else will show up here. 1629 01:53:48,000 --> 01:53:49,100 My God! 1630 01:53:49,400 --> 01:53:50,400 That's him. 1631 01:53:50,425 --> 01:53:53,150 - Now what? - Let's leave. 1632 01:53:53,175 --> 01:53:54,500 It's too late. 1633 01:53:55,450 --> 01:54:00,200 What's this picture of you in today's paper? 1634 01:54:00,675 --> 01:54:02,950 A wedding! What wedding? 1635 01:54:03,250 --> 01:54:05,900 Who are the two men standing beside you? 1636 01:54:06,200 --> 01:54:08,000 I see them in your mirrors. 1637 01:54:09,300 --> 01:54:10,400 Am I going nuts? 1638 01:54:10,500 --> 01:54:12,900 No, you're not. But it is a crazy story. 1640 01:54:13,300 --> 01:54:17,400 Let me explain: I organized everything. 1641 01:54:17,450 --> 01:54:21,450 Madam didn't really marry that old man. 1642 01:54:21,500 --> 01:54:24,500 I can prove it, too. He's been married 27 years. 1643 01:54:24,550 --> 01:54:27,650 - Have I lied? - No, not yet. 1644 01:54:27,800 --> 01:54:30,150 Why were the three of you ready to get in the car? 1645 01:54:32,800 --> 01:54:34,100 Shall we tell him? 1646 01:54:34,750 --> 01:54:36,100 It's awkward. 1647 01:54:36,175 --> 01:54:38,000 - Will he understand? - Tell him. 1648 01:54:39,000 --> 01:54:41,900 We were getting ready to act in a new film. 1649 01:54:42,000 --> 01:54:46,900 I want the film to be based on a true story. 1650 01:54:47,000 --> 01:54:50,900 It was my idea to open a home for old bachelors. 1651 01:54:51,200 --> 01:54:53,650 What a funny premise! 1652 01:54:54,100 --> 01:54:57,900 Isn't it? But I need to find an honest producer. 1653 01:54:57,950 --> 01:55:00,950 And I still don't have a producer. 1654 01:55:01,050 --> 01:55:07,650 How could I show that my script was realistic? 1655 01:55:07,750 --> 01:55:10,100 By having papers cover it like a true story, you see? 1656 01:55:10,300 --> 01:55:14,000 What a clever idea! 1657 01:55:14,400 --> 01:55:15,500 It was mine. 1658 01:55:15,600 --> 01:55:18,100 It was her idea. 1659 01:55:18,300 --> 01:55:21,400 - We met ... - At Mrs. Goloubeff's house. 1660 01:55:22,350 --> 01:55:26,350 We met and talked about my script ... 1661 01:55:26,400 --> 01:55:27,750 We laughed our heads off! 1662 01:55:27,950 --> 01:55:28,950 We sure did! 1663 01:55:35,600 --> 01:55:36,800 Hilarious! 1664 01:55:36,850 --> 01:55:40,000 - He was there, too? - We were all there. 1666 01:55:40,050 --> 01:55:42,100 Not me, I'm laughing now. 1667 01:55:45,800 --> 01:55:47,850 What's your role in all of this? 1668 01:55:49,050 --> 01:55:50,750 She's in the leading role. 1669 01:55:50,900 --> 01:55:54,000 To show you I'm photogenic. 1670 01:55:54,250 --> 01:55:55,500 So the story ... 1671 01:55:55,600 --> 01:55:59,750 Its in the papers, along with additional details. 1672 01:56:00,950 --> 01:56:02,000 How does it end? 1673 01:56:03,225 --> 01:56:05,900 With a wedding. It's a happy ending. 1674 01:56:06,000 --> 01:56:07,700 The bachelors leave the home. 1675 01:56:07,900 --> 01:56:09,000 And you? 1676 01:56:09,800 --> 01:56:14,650 I cleverly switch places with one of the bachelors. 1677 01:56:14,700 --> 01:56:19,600 Then I marry madam, and we both become film stars. 1678 01:56:19,700 --> 01:56:24,850 Although she doesn't like me at first, you sense 1679 01:56:24,900 --> 01:56:27,350 that in the end, she'll love me despite herself. 1680 01:56:27,800 --> 01:56:32,000 - A splendid idea! - I can't wait to see it. 1681 01:56:32,700 --> 01:56:35,700 I'll call my partner. I'll be right back. 1682 01:56:35,900 --> 01:56:38,625 He's hooked, don't stop now. 1683 01:56:38,700 --> 01:56:40,900 Do we have to get married? 1684 01:56:40,950 --> 01:56:42,275 - I can't help it. - Why? 1685 01:56:42,325 --> 01:56:43,650 - Because. - Because what? 1686 01:56:43,700 --> 01:56:47,500 - Because we got married this morning. - Oh! 1687 01:56:47,900 --> 01:56:50,900 I'm Jean Lecuyer and you are my wife! 1688 01:56:52,150 --> 01:56:53,800 How could I pass it up? 1689 01:56:54,350 --> 01:56:55,500 Happy? 1690 01:56:56,450 --> 01:56:58,750 Furious? Ok, let it out. 1691 01:56:58,800 --> 01:57:00,600 You forced me into it! 1692 01:57:00,750 --> 01:57:05,900 I would rather be your lover, but I had no choice. 1693 01:57:06,000 --> 01:57:11,475 I was able to marry you without telling you. 1694 01:57:11,525 --> 01:57:13,850 Yet I can't become your lover if I tell you. 1695 01:57:13,950 --> 01:57:18,700 Life can be so strange. As though fate drew us together. 1697 01:57:18,800 --> 01:57:19,950 Really! 1698 01:57:20,000 --> 01:57:25,550 We might very well spend the rest of our days together. 1699 01:57:27,350 --> 01:57:29,700 - It's not funny! - I know! 1700 01:57:29,825 --> 01:57:34,600 Living with you will be no picnic, but I love you. 1701 01:57:34,800 --> 01:57:36,900 But I hate you! 1702 01:57:37,100 --> 01:57:38,250 - Really? - Really! 1703 01:57:38,700 --> 01:57:40,900 Maybe, but you might still love me. 1704 01:57:41,025 --> 01:57:45,100 Give me your hand. Obey your husband! 1705 01:57:45,150 --> 01:57:47,500 Give me your hand and tense your arm. 1706 01:57:47,925 --> 01:57:49,100 Rehearsing? 1707 01:57:49,500 --> 01:57:52,550 Keep rehearsing, I'm making the film! 1708 01:57:54,050 --> 01:57:55,200 Very good! 1709 01:57:55,400 --> 01:57:57,200 Again and again! 1710 01:58:02,100 --> 01:58:04,500 As often as you wish! 1711 01:58:07,900 --> 01:58:09,150 Original translation: Alberto de Lisi, TV5. 1712 01:58:09,250 --> 01:58:10,950 transcribed & synched September 2017 Horace Holly 114646