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1
00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:05,550
Guess who just got her first place!
2
00:00:05,553 --> 00:00:08,730
Me! Although you can't
really call a tiger a place,
3
00:00:08,733 --> 00:00:10,816
and also it's not my first one.
4
00:00:10,817 --> 00:00:12,609
- Are you finished?
- Fine.
5
00:00:12,610 --> 00:00:14,486
Tell us more about your dumb thing.
6
00:00:14,487 --> 00:00:16,989
My thing is not dumb.
7
00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:20,075
I just finished moving my
stuff into my new condo!
8
00:00:20,076 --> 00:00:21,660
- What?
- Congratulations.
9
00:00:21,661 --> 00:00:23,453
- When do we get to see it?
- Soon,
10
00:00:23,454 --> 00:00:27,833
because you're all
invited to my housewarming.
11
00:00:27,834 --> 00:00:29,501
[all gasp]
12
00:00:29,502 --> 00:00:31,420
Well, I will be there.
13
00:00:31,421 --> 00:00:33,630
Unless it's within 100
yards of a petting zoo.
14
00:00:33,631 --> 00:00:35,132
Do I even want to kn...
15
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:37,676
It's exactly what you think it is.
16
00:00:37,677 --> 00:00:39,219
Well, no excuses,
17
00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:40,721
because it's super close.
18
00:00:40,722 --> 00:00:42,014
In fact, you can see it from here.
19
00:00:42,015 --> 00:00:43,307
Come on.
20
00:00:45,184 --> 00:00:48,854
It's right there. The
tall black building.
21
00:00:48,855 --> 00:00:51,523
Right where that weird thing is flying.
22
00:00:51,526 --> 00:00:53,526
The thing that's shooting space rays?
23
00:00:53,529 --> 00:00:54,776
- Yeah.
- [explosion]
24
00:00:54,777 --> 00:00:56,361
[all gasp]
25
00:00:56,362 --> 00:00:58,697
Ooh, that's why I rent.
26
00:00:58,698 --> 00:01:01,700
[dramatic music]
27
00:01:01,701 --> 00:01:08,708
♪ ♪
28
00:01:09,792 --> 00:01:12,794
[heroic music]
29
00:01:12,795 --> 00:01:19,886
♪ ♪
30
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:33,416
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
31
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,736
Sources say a wormhole has
opened up somewhere on Earth
32
00:01:37,737 --> 00:01:40,822
and released a fleet of
mysterious alien ships.
33
00:01:40,823 --> 00:01:43,033
President Luthor, who was
golfing at the Mar-A-Luthor,
34
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,743
responded in a Tweet:
35
00:01:44,744 --> 00:01:48,246
"Space wall will be built,
and aliens will pay for it."
36
00:01:48,247 --> 00:01:51,416
How did we elect a president
who tweets in all caps?
37
00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:53,043
Who cares? I got a tax cut.
38
00:01:53,044 --> 00:01:54,920
And I can dump whatever
I want into the river.
39
00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:56,421
[phone chimes]
40
00:01:56,422 --> 00:01:58,840
Oh, my God. Wayne
Headquarters has been hit.
41
00:01:58,841 --> 00:02:00,967
I hope there weren't any casualties...
42
00:02:00,968 --> 00:02:02,302
Bob Lackey's dead!
43
00:02:02,303 --> 00:02:03,637
Yes!
44
00:02:03,638 --> 00:02:04,971
So tragic.
45
00:02:04,972 --> 00:02:07,432
He leaves behind a wife and two kids,
46
00:02:07,433 --> 00:02:09,726
and a seat on Wayne Industries' board.
47
00:02:09,727 --> 00:02:12,854
This is my chance! [giggles]
48
00:02:12,855 --> 00:02:16,441
My insurance won't cover any
of the damage to my condo.
49
00:02:16,442 --> 00:02:18,276
Wait, you didn't get alien insurance?
50
00:02:18,277 --> 00:02:20,112
It turns out the aliens
are from the future,
51
00:02:20,113 --> 00:02:22,781
so they're saying technically
it hasn't happened yet.
52
00:02:22,782 --> 00:02:24,923
- Well, that's hard to argue.
- Same thing happened to me.
53
00:02:24,925 --> 00:02:29,287
I put all my savings into that condo.
54
00:02:29,288 --> 00:02:31,123
I just lost everything.
55
00:02:31,124 --> 00:02:33,125
All of your things fit into one condo?
56
00:02:33,126 --> 00:02:34,960
Now I'm sad.
57
00:02:34,961 --> 00:02:37,587
Oh, I should use this
and call Bob Lackey's wife
58
00:02:37,588 --> 00:02:39,297
before it wears off.
59
00:02:39,298 --> 00:02:41,883
Karen, I just heard.
60
00:02:41,884 --> 00:02:44,595
Oh, yes, it's sad. Can't
you tell by my voice?
61
00:02:46,430 --> 00:02:49,432
[upbeat music]
62
00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:53,228
♪ ♪
63
00:02:53,229 --> 00:02:54,479
[whistles] Oh, boy.
64
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,148
- [knocking at door]
- [sighs]
65
00:02:56,149 --> 00:02:58,483
Door's stuck. Just
enter through the hole.
66
00:02:58,484 --> 00:03:00,403
- Easy.
- Careful.
67
00:03:01,988 --> 00:03:04,322
I like the open floor plan.
68
00:03:04,323 --> 00:03:06,825
Yeah. There's so much natural light.
69
00:03:06,826 --> 00:03:09,828
Yeah. A lot of that's the explosion.
70
00:03:09,829 --> 00:03:12,831
All I have left is one
decorative throw pillow
71
00:03:12,832 --> 00:03:14,499
and my robot vacuum...
72
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,502
[vacuum whirring]
73
00:03:19,172 --> 00:03:21,339
[crashes]
74
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:23,008
Which just committed suicide.
75
00:03:23,009 --> 00:03:26,678
Well, before you get any ideas,
76
00:03:26,679 --> 00:03:28,513
um, we got a little surprise for you.
77
00:03:28,514 --> 00:03:30,682
Yeah. We made you a care package.
78
00:03:30,683 --> 00:03:32,267
I brought you some clothes.
79
00:03:32,268 --> 00:03:34,978
Aw, Wendy.
80
00:03:34,979 --> 00:03:38,481
Oh! These are very... cats.
81
00:03:38,482 --> 00:03:40,191
I love that sweater.
82
00:03:40,192 --> 00:03:41,860
And I found you some
apartments on Craigslist.
83
00:03:41,861 --> 00:03:43,612
Oh, and there's even one
for free if you're willing
84
00:03:43,613 --> 00:03:45,363
to let someone massage
your feet while you eat.
85
00:03:45,364 --> 00:03:47,198
Oh, there's got to be a catch.
86
00:03:47,199 --> 00:03:49,367
Aww, you guys are so sweet.
87
00:03:49,368 --> 00:03:51,202
I thought this condo was the symbol
88
00:03:51,203 --> 00:03:55,498
of everything I worked for
this year, but I was wrong.
89
00:03:55,499 --> 00:03:56,833
It's you guys.
90
00:03:56,834 --> 00:03:58,710
- [alarm sounding]
- Oh, no!
91
00:03:58,711 --> 00:04:01,838
The petting zoo people know that
I violated my restraining order!
92
00:04:01,839 --> 00:04:05,426
I took a chance coming here! Ugh!
93
00:04:07,094 --> 00:04:08,595
Just let go of the pretzel.
94
00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:11,014
Yeah, but then I won't have a pretzel.
95
00:04:11,015 --> 00:04:13,516
Who designed this abattoir?
96
00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:16,061
Oh, my God. You're Dean West,
97
00:04:16,062 --> 00:04:17,729
the chairman of Wayne Industries.
98
00:04:17,730 --> 00:04:19,564
Hi. I...
99
00:04:19,565 --> 00:04:21,566
May I?
100
00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:23,235
Oh.
101
00:04:23,236 --> 00:04:25,570
I've come from Gotham. I
have something important
102
00:04:25,571 --> 00:04:27,405
to talk to you about.
103
00:04:27,406 --> 00:04:30,451
Yes. Um, right this way.
104
00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:34,537
[whispering] Oh, my God, it's happening.
105
00:04:34,538 --> 00:04:36,332
I'm finally getting my promotion.
106
00:04:40,086 --> 00:04:43,546
Wendy, thank you for
letting me borrow this dress.
107
00:04:43,547 --> 00:04:46,091
That's a sweater, and
you know it's a sweater.
108
00:04:46,092 --> 00:04:47,801
Why would I own a cat dress?
109
00:04:47,802 --> 00:04:50,470
Emily, Van wants to
see you in his office.
110
00:04:50,471 --> 00:04:51,931
Great.
111
00:04:53,766 --> 00:04:57,270
Emily, uh, this is Chairman West.
112
00:04:58,604 --> 00:05:02,232
Nice to meet you, cat woman.
113
00:05:02,233 --> 00:05:05,443
Oh, this is a loaner.
Aliens blew up my condo.
114
00:05:05,444 --> 00:05:06,903
Heh. Yeah.
115
00:05:06,904 --> 00:05:09,114
- You got the promotion?
- [groans]
116
00:05:09,115 --> 00:05:13,618
Ms. Locke, because of the
dastardly attack on Gotham,
117
00:05:13,619 --> 00:05:15,787
we're gonna have to make some cuts.
118
00:05:15,788 --> 00:05:18,290
He wants you to fire one
of your department heads.
119
00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:19,958
[group chattering]
120
00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:21,793
But that's Wendy, Teddy, and Ron.
121
00:05:21,794 --> 00:05:24,338
- [all laughing]
- Oh, we are inseparable.
122
00:05:26,299 --> 00:05:28,800
So this was the only reason
that you came from Gotham?
123
00:05:28,801 --> 00:05:31,344
Was there any other
board-related reason?
124
00:05:31,345 --> 00:05:33,013
Nope. That's it.
125
00:05:33,014 --> 00:05:36,559
I admit, it's a bit
of a gratuitous cameo.
126
00:05:38,728 --> 00:05:40,187
What?
127
00:05:44,795 --> 00:05:47,438
The aliens, known as the
Blight, continue their path
128
00:05:47,441 --> 00:05:50,739
of destruction as the Justice
League hunts for the wormhole
129
00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:52,324
that unleashed these creatures.
130
00:05:52,325 --> 00:05:54,993
But first, the story of Mubu,
131
00:05:54,994 --> 00:05:56,828
the dyslexic panda who makes jewelry!
132
00:05:56,829 --> 00:05:58,330
All: Aww!
133
00:05:58,331 --> 00:06:00,165
What am I supposed to do?
134
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,959
Go up to the people I've
spent a year bonding with,
135
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,340
who have literally given
me the shirt off their back,
136
00:06:05,343 --> 00:06:06,504
and say, "You're fired"?
137
00:06:06,505 --> 00:06:09,299
That is exactly what
you do. This is business.
138
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,009
I'm gonna find another way around this.
139
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:13,345
Do you even listen to me
when we have these talks?
140
00:06:13,346 --> 00:06:15,138
Exactly.
141
00:06:15,139 --> 00:06:18,099
[upbeat music]
142
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,185
[groans]
143
00:06:20,186 --> 00:06:21,811
Van, I...
144
00:06:21,812 --> 00:06:23,355
[groaning]
145
00:06:23,356 --> 00:06:25,023
Are you wearing shorts and Ugg boots?
146
00:06:25,024 --> 00:06:26,775
Yeah, I am.
147
00:06:26,776 --> 00:06:28,360
They gave away my spot on the board
148
00:06:28,361 --> 00:06:30,111
to Bob Lackey's weepy wife.
149
00:06:30,112 --> 00:06:32,030
- [sighs]
- My life is over.
150
00:06:32,031 --> 00:06:34,657
And, you know, not in the
same way that Bob Lackey's is,
151
00:06:34,658 --> 00:06:37,702
but it is equally as tragic.
152
00:06:37,703 --> 00:06:40,538
Don't you have, like, $100 million?
153
00:06:40,539 --> 00:06:43,333
Yeah. But what's that worth?
154
00:06:43,334 --> 00:06:45,710
Okay. Well, the good news is,
155
00:06:45,711 --> 00:06:47,712
I found tons of budget cuts,
156
00:06:47,713 --> 00:06:49,130
and we can meet Mr. West's goals
157
00:06:49,131 --> 00:06:51,341
without firing anyone.
158
00:06:51,342 --> 00:06:53,593
Please don't eat... okay.
159
00:06:53,594 --> 00:06:55,261
You know, Emily, they tell you
160
00:06:55,262 --> 00:06:58,139
that if you're rich and
you know the right people,
161
00:06:58,140 --> 00:07:01,226
that you'll go far in
life, but it is a lie!
162
00:07:01,227 --> 00:07:03,061
The only thing people
care about is hard work
163
00:07:03,062 --> 00:07:04,687
and if you have talent.
164
00:07:04,688 --> 00:07:07,065
The system's broken!
165
00:07:07,066 --> 00:07:08,566
Don't look at me.
166
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,360
Okay, well, if it's cool with you,
167
00:07:10,361 --> 00:07:12,153
I am just going to
take your hand right now
168
00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:14,906
and sign this budget.
169
00:07:14,907 --> 00:07:17,700
There you go. Good job. [chuckles]
170
00:07:17,701 --> 00:07:19,495
Hello, beautiful.
171
00:07:20,704 --> 00:07:22,497
- That one.
- Yes.
172
00:07:22,498 --> 00:07:24,749
All right. I've got chemicals,
173
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,751
and I'm about to have electricity.
174
00:07:26,752 --> 00:07:28,419
I'm gonna be the next Flash.
175
00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:29,420
- Nerd.
- Mm-hmm.
176
00:07:29,421 --> 00:07:31,047
[chuckles]
177
00:07:31,048 --> 00:07:32,715
- [electrical popping]
- [both laughing]
178
00:07:32,716 --> 00:07:34,634
- Ooh, okay.
- Oh! It burns!
179
00:07:34,635 --> 00:07:36,201
- Look at those legs.
- Where's he... where's he going?
180
00:07:36,203 --> 00:07:37,762
[both laughing]
181
00:07:37,763 --> 00:07:39,722
Look at these fools. I mean,
what's with the chemicals?
182
00:07:39,723 --> 00:07:41,099
Everyone knows The Flash got his powers
183
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:42,517
from a radioactive cheetah.
184
00:07:42,518 --> 00:07:44,269
Well, actually, the science holds up.
185
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:46,062
But if you want super-speed,
you're gonna need
186
00:07:46,063 --> 00:07:48,731
a way higher voltage and
much stronger chemicals.
187
00:07:48,732 --> 00:07:50,568
Is that true?
188
00:07:52,945 --> 00:07:55,113
Well, yeah, in theory.
189
00:07:55,114 --> 00:07:56,531
You should try it, Van.
190
00:07:56,532 --> 00:07:58,283
Imagine the power. I can videotape it.
191
00:07:58,284 --> 00:08:00,618
Oh, no, no, no, no. That's a bad idea.
192
00:08:00,619 --> 00:08:03,121
Sure. Who gives a [bleep]?
193
00:08:03,122 --> 00:08:05,623
All right, you're gonna
take this metal pole
194
00:08:05,624 --> 00:08:06,958
and touch it to the electricity
195
00:08:06,959 --> 00:08:08,960
right as Teddy tosses in the chemicals.
196
00:08:08,961 --> 00:08:10,795
Oh, also, if you pass out,
just try to land on your back.
197
00:08:10,796 --> 00:08:12,463
I want people to see
my podcast T-shirt.
198
00:08:12,464 --> 00:08:13,965
Right.
199
00:08:13,966 --> 00:08:16,467
You know, as a fellow human being,
200
00:08:16,468 --> 00:08:19,179
I have to tell you this
is greatly dangerous.
201
00:08:19,180 --> 00:08:24,225
I used to think that the
name Wayne was my superpower,
202
00:08:24,226 --> 00:08:26,811
but it obviously means nothing.
203
00:08:26,812 --> 00:08:28,771
But if I had actual superpowers,
204
00:08:28,772 --> 00:08:30,648
then I could show all of
those people who laughed at me,
205
00:08:30,649 --> 00:08:31,983
and then they'd see.
206
00:08:31,984 --> 00:08:34,110
Then they would all see!
207
00:08:34,111 --> 00:08:37,447
[laughter, then sobbing]
208
00:08:37,448 --> 00:08:39,324
Are we about to create a super villain?
209
00:08:39,325 --> 00:08:40,491
Eh.
210
00:08:40,492 --> 00:08:41,952
[crying]
211
00:08:42,912 --> 00:08:45,163
It's show time!
212
00:08:45,164 --> 00:08:49,168
- [electricity buzzing]
- Aah!
213
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:52,880
[chuckles]
214
00:08:56,175 --> 00:08:57,634
[grunts]
215
00:08:57,635 --> 00:09:00,053
[sighs]
216
00:09:00,054 --> 00:09:02,055
Well, I do feel different.
217
00:09:02,056 --> 00:09:05,850
[very slowly] Are you
218
00:09:05,851 --> 00:09:11,022
okay?
219
00:09:11,023 --> 00:09:12,649
Yeah.
220
00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:13,858
I'm fine.
221
00:09:13,859 --> 00:09:20,365
[very slowly] He's so fast!
222
00:09:20,366 --> 00:09:21,866
Oh, my God! It worked!
223
00:09:21,867 --> 00:09:24,035
It worked! Ooh!
224
00:09:24,036 --> 00:09:27,705
[laughing] Look at me!
Oh, you can't look at me,
225
00:09:27,706 --> 00:09:29,374
'cause I'm too fast!
226
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:31,709
Am I over here? Am I
over here? Where am I?
227
00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:34,379
Oh, my God! Oh! Whoo!
228
00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:37,507
How'd that happen? [laughing]
229
00:09:37,508 --> 00:09:40,426
Bow before my speed!
230
00:09:40,427 --> 00:09:42,095
- Whoo-hoo!
- [crashing]
231
00:09:42,096 --> 00:09:43,972
What the hell are you doing?
232
00:09:43,973 --> 00:09:46,100
Oh, you got super-speed too?
233
00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:50,895
[laughter]
234
00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:53,064
Here. Teddy Talks podcast.
235
00:09:53,065 --> 00:09:54,566
Give us five stars on iTunes.
236
00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:55,900
Subscribe!
237
00:09:55,901 --> 00:09:57,402
[both laugh]
238
00:09:57,403 --> 00:09:59,404
That was super fun, man.
239
00:09:59,405 --> 00:10:00,823
[elevator dings]
240
00:10:02,199 --> 00:10:05,535
Chairman West! Uh,
did you get my budget?
241
00:10:05,536 --> 00:10:07,704
Yes. It was quite impressive.
242
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:11,583
We had no idea this division
could be so profitable.
243
00:10:11,584 --> 00:10:14,919
So, are you here to tell me I
don't have to let go of anybody?
244
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,588
Not exactly.
245
00:10:16,589 --> 00:10:18,923
Wait, they're selling
the division to LexCorp?
246
00:10:18,924 --> 00:10:20,758
You're selling us to our rival!
247
00:10:20,759 --> 00:10:23,303
See, Emily? That's how you fire someone.
248
00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:25,430
Thanks, Jackie. But why?
249
00:10:25,431 --> 00:10:28,099
I showed you how profitable we could be.
250
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:30,935
Exactly. That's why
the sale went through.
251
00:10:30,936 --> 00:10:32,895
Apparently they've
been looking for a buyer
252
00:10:32,896 --> 00:10:35,690
over the last year, and
the numbers didn't work out
253
00:10:35,691 --> 00:10:37,358
until you came along.
254
00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:41,571
But what's gonna happen to our jobs?
255
00:10:41,572 --> 00:10:45,450
Will this ragtag band
of plucky performers
256
00:10:45,451 --> 00:10:47,952
keep their precious positions?
257
00:10:47,953 --> 00:10:50,955
Or, will they be thrown to the wolves?
258
00:10:50,956 --> 00:10:53,042
Find out next week!
259
00:10:54,793 --> 00:10:56,961
What's next week?
260
00:10:56,962 --> 00:11:00,674
Oh, that's when the head of
HR gets back from vacation.
261
00:11:08,038 --> 00:11:10,723
Look. They're calling
us into LexCorp tomorrow.
262
00:11:10,726 --> 00:11:12,602
They wouldn't do that just to fire us.
263
00:11:12,603 --> 00:11:14,812
Yeah, she's right, you know?
We have a unique skill set.
264
00:11:14,813 --> 00:11:16,272
We're irreplaceable.
265
00:11:16,273 --> 00:11:19,484
Guys, the LexCorp R&D team is here.
266
00:11:19,485 --> 00:11:22,612
They wanted to say hello.
267
00:11:22,613 --> 00:11:25,323
Hi. I'm Emma. This is our
chief design officer, Freddie,
268
00:11:25,324 --> 00:11:26,991
our head engineer, Don,
269
00:11:26,992 --> 00:11:29,994
and Wanda, our lead software engineer.
270
00:11:29,995 --> 00:11:32,288
If a parole officer
named Sam Clarke asks,
271
00:11:32,289 --> 00:11:33,998
I wasn't in Charm City.
272
00:11:33,999 --> 00:11:36,000
Your parole officer is Sam too?
273
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:37,502
Freaky.
274
00:11:37,503 --> 00:11:40,506
[together] So nice to meet you.
275
00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:46,804
So, we're not unique, and
we're all getting fired.
276
00:11:49,522 --> 00:11:51,349
You know, none of this would've happened
277
00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:53,434
if I had just fired one of them.
278
00:11:53,435 --> 00:11:56,187
Well, it's a tough decision to make.
279
00:11:56,188 --> 00:11:58,690
[together] It was gonna be Wendy.
280
00:11:58,691 --> 00:12:01,484
Well, we might all be losing our jobs,
281
00:12:01,485 --> 00:12:04,195
but it doesn't mean we
won't still see each other.
282
00:12:04,196 --> 00:12:06,030
I mean, we're family.
283
00:12:06,031 --> 00:12:08,324
Oh, honey,
284
00:12:08,325 --> 00:12:09,867
we're not family.
285
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:11,661
We're all work buddies.
286
00:12:11,662 --> 00:12:13,538
Sure, we'll say we're
gonna keep in touch,
287
00:12:13,539 --> 00:12:16,374
but we're not gonna see each
other until one of us dies.
288
00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:18,585
[together] Which is gonna be Wendy.
289
00:12:23,549 --> 00:12:25,466
You know what? You're wrong.
290
00:12:25,467 --> 00:12:27,636
This is a bond for life.
291
00:12:30,723 --> 00:12:33,015
See you at Wendy's funeral.
292
00:12:33,016 --> 00:12:35,018
[thunder cracks]
293
00:12:36,687 --> 00:12:38,229
Idiots.
294
00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:40,232
[electricity crackling]
295
00:12:44,236 --> 00:12:46,154
Guys, this place is perfect.
296
00:12:46,155 --> 00:12:48,906
It's a shame we're
only here to get fired.
297
00:12:48,907 --> 00:12:52,160
What? Ha-ha! Oh!
298
00:12:52,161 --> 00:12:54,579
The only thing I didn't
like about nachos was
299
00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:56,247
having to go get them.
300
00:12:56,248 --> 00:12:59,375
But they solved it.
They really solved it!
301
00:12:59,376 --> 00:13:04,088
I don't know about you, but
I'm making a play to stay.
302
00:13:04,089 --> 00:13:06,090
Oh, my God, Van, did you shave your head
303
00:13:06,091 --> 00:13:07,925
just to suck up to Lex Luthor?
304
00:13:07,926 --> 00:13:11,471
Emily, this is a fresh start for me.
305
00:13:11,472 --> 00:13:14,265
All right? I got a new ass
to kiss, a new nose to brown.
306
00:13:14,266 --> 00:13:15,892
If anyone asks,
307
00:13:15,893 --> 00:13:17,518
I have always been bald.
308
00:13:17,519 --> 00:13:19,604
[chuckling] Hey, guys!
309
00:13:19,605 --> 00:13:22,440
Welcome to LexCorp!
310
00:13:22,441 --> 00:13:24,275
- [chuckles]
- Yeah! All right,
311
00:13:24,276 --> 00:13:26,235
I see you already
dipped into some nachos.
312
00:13:26,236 --> 00:13:29,113
Here's a little fun fact:
our queso is actually made
313
00:13:29,114 --> 00:13:30,531
from a nutritional yeast,
314
00:13:30,532 --> 00:13:32,450
which means no calories!
315
00:13:32,451 --> 00:13:33,868
- Wow!
- Oh!
316
00:13:33,871 --> 00:13:35,405
Yeah, yeah, this place is great.
317
00:13:35,408 --> 00:13:37,076
Just put us out of our misery.
318
00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:39,624
Are you experiencing misery?
Because we actually have
319
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:41,292
some therapeutic dolphins
you can swim with.
320
00:13:41,293 --> 00:13:42,960
Hey, quit messing with us, man!
321
00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:45,129
We know we're redundant
and we're getting fired.
322
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:47,131
Fired? Why would we fire you?
323
00:13:47,132 --> 00:13:50,176
You don't buy the Emporium
and then fire Mr. Magorium!
324
00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:52,678
- What? [laughing]
- I boycotted that movie.
325
00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:54,472
You don't name a character Magorium
326
00:13:54,473 --> 00:13:56,474
just so it rhymes with Emporium.
327
00:13:56,475 --> 00:13:58,809
That's just a cheat. [bleep] that movie.
328
00:13:58,810 --> 00:14:00,478
- Yes.
- Um, could you just go back
329
00:14:00,479 --> 00:14:01,646
to what you were saying before?
330
00:14:01,647 --> 00:14:03,147
We're keeping our jobs?
331
00:14:03,148 --> 00:14:04,982
Absolutely, you're keeping your jobs.
332
00:14:04,983 --> 00:14:08,819
In fact, we're creating an
entire division just for you.
333
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:12,782
Basically, anything that
your big brains think of,
334
00:14:12,783 --> 00:14:13,824
we're gonna build.
335
00:14:13,825 --> 00:14:15,451
[all laughing]
336
00:14:15,452 --> 00:14:16,994
Jackie's gonna love this place.
337
00:14:16,995 --> 00:14:19,497
Oh, well, we might have to figure out
338
00:14:19,498 --> 00:14:20,665
a way around that one.
339
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:22,333
We don't hire assistants here.
340
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:24,669
So, Jackie won't be working here?
341
00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:27,838
- Uh, no.
- That's fine.
342
00:14:27,839 --> 00:14:29,633
We don't care.
343
00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:34,387
[sighs] This place is so fancy.
344
00:14:34,388 --> 00:14:36,180
You know, instead of toilet paper,
345
00:14:36,181 --> 00:14:39,183
they have these expensive
Egyptian cotton towels?
346
00:14:39,184 --> 00:14:42,478
No, Ron. They definitely
have toilet paper.
347
00:14:42,479 --> 00:14:44,647
- Oh, dear.
- Anyway,
348
00:14:44,648 --> 00:14:47,191
this LexCorp takeover is the best thing
349
00:14:47,192 --> 00:14:49,860
that has ever happened to us.
350
00:14:49,861 --> 00:14:52,196
There you guys are. I
felt it out with Russell,
351
00:14:52,197 --> 00:14:54,532
and I think if we all
band together and say
352
00:14:54,533 --> 00:14:57,368
we're not going to take the
jobs unless they hire Jackie too,
353
00:14:57,369 --> 00:14:58,828
they'll give in.
354
00:14:58,829 --> 00:15:00,830
We just have to be willing to walk away.
355
00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:03,708
Do we look like people who
are willing to walk away?
356
00:15:03,709 --> 00:15:06,210
I mean, I don't even know where
my pants are. Anybody else?
357
00:15:06,211 --> 00:15:08,255
Van, she's taken care
of your entire life
358
00:15:08,258 --> 00:15:09,297
for ten years.
359
00:15:09,298 --> 00:15:10,869
You know what? I don't even remember
360
00:15:10,872 --> 00:15:12,717
what Jackie looks like anymore.
361
00:15:12,718 --> 00:15:15,761
Hey, who here wants to
go swimming with dolphins?
362
00:15:15,762 --> 00:15:19,223
- This guy!
- Yes!
363
00:15:19,224 --> 00:15:21,058
Ooh. Jesus Christ!
364
00:15:21,059 --> 00:15:23,728
Oh, that is not the dolphin room.
365
00:15:23,729 --> 00:15:25,062
Ha!
366
00:15:25,063 --> 00:15:27,315
[suspenseful music]
367
00:15:27,316 --> 00:15:28,858
[dramatic music]
368
00:15:28,859 --> 00:15:31,736
Oh, my God. This is a wormhole.
369
00:15:31,737 --> 00:15:35,282
This place has everything! [giggles]
370
00:15:36,408 --> 00:15:39,410
- Yeah. Wow.
- [dark music]
371
00:15:39,411 --> 00:15:43,748
♪ ♪
372
00:15:43,749 --> 00:15:46,751
I think this is the wormhole
everyone's looking for.
373
00:15:46,752 --> 00:15:49,086
Oh, my God. LexCorp's behind this?
374
00:15:49,087 --> 00:15:50,421
Hold on. Hold on. We don't know
375
00:15:50,422 --> 00:15:52,381
that this is the evil wormhole.
376
00:15:52,382 --> 00:15:54,050
There's only one way to find out.
377
00:15:54,051 --> 00:15:55,259
Cha-kah!
378
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:57,928
- No!
- No, no, no!
379
00:15:57,929 --> 00:16:01,891
♪ ♪
380
00:16:01,892 --> 00:16:03,225
Well, Wendy's dead.
381
00:16:03,226 --> 00:16:05,562
[whooshing] Whoa.
382
00:16:07,105 --> 00:16:10,107
[heroic music]
383
00:16:10,108 --> 00:16:11,609
[chuckles]
384
00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:17,365
♪ ♪
385
00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:19,283
[chuckles]
386
00:16:19,284 --> 00:16:24,789
Well, that was definitely
the evil wormhole.
387
00:16:24,790 --> 00:16:28,292
I was in the land of
Scartarus for two years.
388
00:16:28,293 --> 00:16:32,588
I became a warlord. I
freed a nation of slaves.
389
00:16:32,589 --> 00:16:34,465
It was so cool.
390
00:16:34,466 --> 00:16:36,509
Why did you come back?
391
00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:39,095
Oh, I got to see that last
season of "Game of Thrones."
392
00:16:39,096 --> 00:16:40,638
It's gonna be crazy.
393
00:16:40,639 --> 00:16:42,306
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
394
00:16:42,307 --> 00:16:43,808
We have to shut this thing off.
395
00:16:43,809 --> 00:16:45,810
- Yep.
- Ohh, oh, oh, oh!
396
00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:47,645
Slow down, there, Erin Brockovich!
397
00:16:47,646 --> 00:16:51,148
Now, every company does
morally questionable things.
398
00:16:51,149 --> 00:16:52,483
Sometimes it's fuzzy accounting.
399
00:16:52,484 --> 00:16:54,402
Sometimes it's a wormhole
400
00:16:54,403 --> 00:16:56,320
that releases evil aliens
401
00:16:56,321 --> 00:16:58,781
that are bent on destroying the earth.
402
00:16:58,782 --> 00:17:00,157
Nobody's perfect!
403
00:17:00,158 --> 00:17:02,159
Aww!
404
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,913
You guys discovered the evil wormhole!
405
00:17:06,331 --> 00:17:08,624
- What wormhole?
- No. Don't do that.
406
00:17:08,625 --> 00:17:11,085
You saw it. I know you saw
it, 'cause I saw you see it.
407
00:17:11,086 --> 00:17:12,962
- All right.
- All right?
408
00:17:12,963 --> 00:17:15,673
This is unfortunate. Now
we got to kill you guys.
409
00:17:15,674 --> 00:17:17,842
- What?
- You are going to die.
410
00:17:17,843 --> 00:17:20,052
But not all bad.
411
00:17:20,053 --> 00:17:21,887
Some good news: it's gonna be painless,
412
00:17:21,888 --> 00:17:23,848
it's gonna be humane, and
your bodies are gonna be
413
00:17:23,849 --> 00:17:25,516
turned into no-calorie cheese!
414
00:17:25,517 --> 00:17:27,643
- Oh!
- Oh.
415
00:17:27,644 --> 00:17:28,729
Cheese!
416
00:17:34,811 --> 00:17:36,989
All right, so, I'm gonna give you guys
417
00:17:36,992 --> 00:17:39,196
just a few minutes to
say your final good-byes,
418
00:17:39,197 --> 00:17:43,325
and then you get to select
which cheese you want to become!
419
00:17:43,326 --> 00:17:45,453
Russell, come on! Deal with me, man!
420
00:17:45,454 --> 00:17:47,663
I got houses. I got boats.
421
00:17:47,664 --> 00:17:51,792
Hmm. Sorry, guys, but
President Luthor is
422
00:17:51,793 --> 00:17:54,003
really set on destroying the world.
423
00:17:54,004 --> 00:17:56,714
Plus I've already entered
your deaths into the system,
424
00:17:56,715 --> 00:17:58,549
so, you know how it goes.
425
00:17:58,550 --> 00:18:00,384
[chuckles] All right.
426
00:18:00,385 --> 00:18:02,720
Guys, we've got to do something.
427
00:18:02,721 --> 00:18:04,023
There's nothing to do!
428
00:18:04,026 --> 00:18:05,888
Things don't always have a happy ending.
429
00:18:05,891 --> 00:18:07,892
Things aren't always
warm and fuzzy friendship,
430
00:18:07,893 --> 00:18:09,226
blah, blah, blah.
431
00:18:09,227 --> 00:18:10,728
Sometimes you just die,
432
00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:12,396
and then you get turned into cheese.
433
00:18:12,397 --> 00:18:14,565
Oh, my God, I just realized
434
00:18:14,566 --> 00:18:16,817
I ate four people's worth of nachos.
435
00:18:16,818 --> 00:18:18,569
[sobbing] That's disgusting.
436
00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:21,072
I refuse to believe this is how we end.
437
00:18:21,073 --> 00:18:25,534
How about a round of applause
for our euthanasia guy, Esteban?
438
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,828
- Boo! Boo!
- Nope.
439
00:18:27,829 --> 00:18:29,497
He has a bunch of
poisonous scents in here
440
00:18:29,498 --> 00:18:31,082
that you can inhale.
441
00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:33,709
The lavender is very calming, I'm told.
442
00:18:33,710 --> 00:18:36,754
[dramatic music]
443
00:18:36,755 --> 00:18:43,345
♪ ♪
444
00:18:44,304 --> 00:18:45,805
Hey.
445
00:18:45,806 --> 00:18:47,264
[restrains snapping]
446
00:18:47,265 --> 00:18:49,767
- [gasping and laughter]
- Oh, my God.
447
00:18:49,768 --> 00:18:51,854
Jackie, are you The Flash?
448
00:18:51,857 --> 00:18:54,484
No. These dummies gave me superpowers.
449
00:18:54,487 --> 00:18:56,107
It worked!
450
00:18:56,108 --> 00:18:57,733
How did you even find us?
451
00:18:57,734 --> 00:18:58,943
I saw on Emily's Twitter account
452
00:18:58,944 --> 00:19:00,736
that you guys were at LexCorp,
453
00:19:00,737 --> 00:19:02,780
so I searched all the
rooms at super-speed,
454
00:19:02,781 --> 00:19:04,782
got a fro-yo, went to California,
455
00:19:04,783 --> 00:19:07,451
learned jiu-jitsu, which is
how I knocked out these guys,
456
00:19:07,452 --> 00:19:08,869
and then I found you.
457
00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:11,413
Aww, you follow me on Twitter?
458
00:19:11,414 --> 00:19:14,542
You know who else does? My family.
459
00:19:14,543 --> 00:19:16,627
And also Taye Diggs, for some reason.
460
00:19:16,628 --> 00:19:18,462
- [all speaking at once]
- He's following everybody.
461
00:19:18,463 --> 00:19:20,131
- Yeah.
- All right. Fine.
462
00:19:20,132 --> 00:19:21,799
I like all of you guys enough
463
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,509
that I didn't want any of you to die.
464
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,512
- Aww!
- Aww!
465
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,222
- You!
- Aw.
466
00:19:28,223 --> 00:19:30,641
It's sweet that you
think that's a high bar.
467
00:19:30,642 --> 00:19:32,227
Yeah.
468
00:19:34,146 --> 00:19:37,106
Uh, guys, we should shut this down
469
00:19:37,107 --> 00:19:38,482
before it destroys the Earth.
470
00:19:38,483 --> 00:19:40,651
- Oh, right, right.
- I got it.
471
00:19:40,652 --> 00:19:43,154
What if Jackie runs around
it with her super-speed,
472
00:19:43,155 --> 00:19:46,115
and the speed force will
repair the fabric of space-time?
473
00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:48,326
[power winding down]
474
00:19:51,452 --> 00:19:52,920
Or that.
475
00:19:52,923 --> 00:19:55,791
Jackie, you saved the world
and you saved our lives.
476
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:58,502
You deserve a break...
of seven to ten minutes,
477
00:19:58,503 --> 00:20:00,171
and then get me out of these handcuffs!
478
00:20:00,172 --> 00:20:02,673
And go get me a wig.
479
00:20:02,674 --> 00:20:04,008
Congressional Republicans voted
480
00:20:04,009 --> 00:20:06,010
not to impeach President Luthor
481
00:20:06,011 --> 00:20:09,471
in spite of his comically
evil plan to destroy the Earth.
482
00:20:09,472 --> 00:20:11,265
In other news,
483
00:20:11,266 --> 00:20:12,850
what if I told you these earrings
484
00:20:12,851 --> 00:20:14,852
were made by a panda?
485
00:20:14,853 --> 00:20:18,022
So you have super-speed,
and you're not gonna use it?
486
00:20:18,023 --> 00:20:19,523
No. I hate it.
487
00:20:19,524 --> 00:20:20,933
You get a bunch of bugs in your teeth,
488
00:20:20,935 --> 00:20:22,193
it's murder on your shoes,
489
00:20:22,194 --> 00:20:24,695
and I don't have any
excuses now for being late.
490
00:20:24,696 --> 00:20:27,156
Yeah, but you used it for us.
491
00:20:27,157 --> 00:20:29,617
And it just occurred to
me that our jobs ended,
492
00:20:29,618 --> 00:20:31,702
and we're still hanging out.
493
00:20:31,703 --> 00:20:34,038
Of course we are. I
don't need some dumb job
494
00:20:34,039 --> 00:20:35,623
to hang out with my friends.
495
00:20:35,624 --> 00:20:38,042
Yeah, I've been trying for a long time
496
00:20:38,043 --> 00:20:39,293
to be accepted by a cooler group,
497
00:20:39,294 --> 00:20:40,961
but I think this is my ceiling,
498
00:20:40,962 --> 00:20:42,171
and I'm okay with that.
499
00:20:42,172 --> 00:20:44,506
Well, hey, whatever happens,
500
00:20:44,507 --> 00:20:46,175
we'll have each other.
501
00:20:46,176 --> 00:20:48,178
A round of hugs, on me.
502
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,847
- [all laughing]
- Ouch!
503
00:20:51,848 --> 00:20:54,058
I might use my power occasionally.
504
00:20:54,059 --> 00:20:57,061
Hey, screw it. Let's all
go to the petting zoo!
505
00:20:57,062 --> 00:20:59,230
- Yeah!
- Come on!
506
00:20:59,231 --> 00:21:04,735
What will become of our little
gang of scrappy underdogs?
507
00:21:04,736 --> 00:21:07,738
Will Bruce Wayne bail out our heroes?
508
00:21:07,739 --> 00:21:14,745
Or will the treacherous
Lex Luthor seek revenge?
509
00:21:14,746 --> 00:21:17,248
What do you think, tree?
510
00:21:17,249 --> 00:21:19,333
You always tell me the truth.
511
00:21:19,334 --> 00:21:20,876
Why is he talking to a plant?
512
00:21:20,877 --> 00:21:22,357
Are we sure he even works here?
513
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,999
You know, we might still have our jobs.
514
00:21:24,002 --> 00:21:25,840
I'm gonna call Bruce.
515
00:21:26,295 --> 00:21:32,166
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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