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1
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:06,874
- [Woman] You sprinkle on
a cup of chopped walnuts,
2
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:11,079
put them in a hot oven,
and just sit back and wait.
3
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,949
(clunking)
4
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:19,087
- [Man] Evaluation
negative, discard.
5
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:22,190
- What was that?
6
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,759
- Well that was my intercerebral
information evaluator.
7
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,261
- Huh?
8
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:28,629
- The human brain is capable
of retaining approximately
9
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,998
300 million individual images.
10
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,367
We Martians of course have
a much greater capacity,
11
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,836
but even so it is not limitless.
12
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,672
Periodically therefore
we use our intercerebral
13
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:42,210
information evaluator to
discard useless knowledge.
14
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,512
Lorelei's fudge brownies
recipe, for example.
15
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,513
(audience laughs)
16
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,715
- Hey, how about that?
17
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,584
Holy smoke, if I ever get
in to work on time again,
18
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,720
my editor is going to
remember to fire me.
19
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,222
Would you care to
join me for breakfast?
20
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:55,456
- Oh you go ahead, Tim.
21
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,425
I can't clear my head
on a full stomach.
22
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:58,992
(audience laughs)
23
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,762
(pleasant music)
24
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,835
- [Woman] Martin,
detective Brennan
25
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,537
was asking me the other
day where you were born
26
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,440
and where you went to school.
27
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:13,641
(clunking)
28
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,409
- [Man] Evaluation
indeterminate.
29
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:18,279
Retain for corollary
information.
30
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,416
- [Woman] Martin I
think detective Brennan
31
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,884
is beginning to like you.
32
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,953
He spent the whole evening
just talking about you
33
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,721
and asking questions.
34
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,757
(clunking)
35
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:30,991
- [Man] Evaluation
indeterminate,
36
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,127
retain for corollary
information.
37
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,596
(audience laughs)
38
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,697
- [Woman] Detective Brennan?
39
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,732
Oh he's out of town, Martin.
40
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:42,970
He said he had to check up on
a very suspicious character.
41
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,205
(clunking)
42
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,607
- [Man] Evaluation
you're in big trouble.
43
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,477
(audience laughs)
44
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:53,447
(eerie music)
45
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,649
(beeping)
46
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:09,597
(upbeat music)
47
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,712
(pleasant music)
48
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,896
- Oh Uncle Martin, don't
forget to pick me up tonight.
49
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,698
Imogene Garson can
take me to work,
50
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:47,401
but I told her you'd pick me up.
51
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,771
Uncle Martin?
52
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,307
(eerie music)
53
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,453
What's so interesting
about Mrs. Brown's house?
54
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,556
- Detective Brennan,
he's closing in.
55
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,559
- Closing in?
56
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,228
- He has documentary proof
that one Martin O'Hara
57
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:18,131
does not now nor ever
did in fact exist.
58
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:21,902
- Do you mean that he
is investigating you?
59
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,170
- Mr. Brennan is one
of those unfortunate
60
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,406
individuals who cannot
believe his own eyes.
61
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,708
He must have it in writing.
62
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,944
Fortunately I had the
foresight to bring
63
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:34,047
a benevolence bulb
with me from Mars.
64
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:39,420
(audience laughs)
65
00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:42,022
- What kind of bulb?
66
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,223
- Benevolence.
67
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:46,427
It permeates us Martians
with a like me glow.
68
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,161
- Now wait a minute, do you mean
69
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:52,633
that that little gadget is
gonna make Brennan like you?
70
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:56,003
- Mhmm, it made George
Washington like Benedict Arnold.
71
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,037
Temporarily.
72
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,539
(audience laughs)
73
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,473
Turn it on.
74
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,484
Okay, turn it off.
75
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,588
(knocking)
76
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:15,456
Brennan.
77
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,430
Yes Mr. Brennan?
78
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,598
Did you wish to see me?
79
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,934
- O'Hara for some
time now I've been
80
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:30,538
collecting documentary
evidence that you...
81
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,408
That you are
indubitably one of the
82
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:37,911
noblest gentlemen that
ever walked the Earth.
83
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:38,979
(audience laughs)
84
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,014
O'Hara I like you.
85
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,950
- Well, thank you Mr. Brennan.
86
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:46,420
- Bill, all my
friends call me Bill.
87
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,989
- I shall deem it a privilege.
88
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:49,990
Bill.
89
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:53,394
(audience laughs)
90
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,263
(audience laughs)
91
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:01,602
Tim I wouldn't do
that if I were you.
92
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,504
- Look old friend,
Lorelei has just
93
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,539
put on a fresh pot of coffee.
94
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:08,108
I insist that we go
downstairs and drink
95
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,644
to our everlasting friendship.
96
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,404
(knocking)
97
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,007
- Just a minute.
98
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,346
(knocking)
99
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,051
Hi Mrs. Brown.
100
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,655
- Oh Tim, why didn't
you come down with...
101
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,525
(audience laughs)
102
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,630
- All I said was good
morning and she slapped me.
103
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,399
- I told you not to fool around
with the benevolence bulb.
104
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,801
- Well it didn't make Mrs.
Brown very benevolent.
105
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,136
- Well that's what I
was trying to tell you.
106
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,804
Because of systemic differences,
107
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:14,207
the bulb has a completely
opposite effect on Earthlings.
108
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,810
Instead of a like me
glow, it permeates you
109
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,278
with a hate me glow.
110
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,747
- A hate me glow?
111
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:23,517
- Exactly, until and unless
I can find the florenzium
112
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,786
and restore you to
normal, everyone
113
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,422
is going to loathe you on sight.
114
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:32,125
- Ah now come on Uncle
Martin, with my personality?
115
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:34,027
Even automation
couldn't do that.
116
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,195
- Mrs. Brown seems
to have resisted
117
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,397
that bounty
personality of yours.
118
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,199
(audience laughs)
119
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,169
(pleasant music)
120
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,605
(horn honks)
121
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:51,344
- Imogene's here, I'm
off to the office.
122
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,680
See you later.
123
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,982
- Tim, Tim wait a minute...
124
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:04,592
- Imogene as always you
look lovely this morning.
125
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,163
(engine revs)
126
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,634
(audience laughs)
127
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:14,502
Imogene?
128
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,410
Boy you weren't kidding
about that hate me glow.
129
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,878
I just went down
to meet Imogene,
130
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,113
I was down at the car.
131
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,314
Well as soon as I walked up--
132
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,049
(audience laughs)
133
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,151
You wouldn't dare.
134
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,886
- Don't be alarmed Tim,
this isn't for you.
135
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,155
I'll need it to dig
out the florenzium.
136
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,125
- Oh, well I just
don't understand it.
137
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:39,960
I mean I don't
look any different.
138
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,195
I'm still handsome, lovable.
139
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,296
(glass tinkles)
140
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,932
(audience laughs)
141
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,233
- Any question?
142
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,769
- You don't hate me, do you?
143
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,138
You still like me, don't ya?
144
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,945
- I'm forcing myself.
145
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,480
(audience laughs)
146
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,249
- Uncle Martin how long,
147
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,416
how long is it gonna
take for this thing
148
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,218
to wear off, this hate me glow?
149
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,787
- Well I don't know.
150
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,956
Florenzium hasn't been
discovered on Earth yet,
151
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,257
but when I was
landing on your planet
152
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,626
my mineral detector
indicated a deposit
153
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,127
not too far from
here in the desert.
154
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,129
If I'm lucky, I can
find it in a few hours.
155
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,731
If not it may take several days.
156
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,499
- But isn't there
something you can give me
157
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:22,736
temporarily like
a, like an aspirin?
158
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,938
- No, the only similarity
between a headache
159
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:28,776
and the hate me glow is that
they both wear off eventually.
160
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,210
- How eventually?
161
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:35,549
- In a rough estimate I
would say 100 to 110 years.
162
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:38,418
(audience laughs)
163
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,653
- I can hardly wait.
164
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,288
- Precisely, on a
Martian the effects
165
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,857
of the benevolence bulb
dissipate within a few hours,
166
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:46,059
but of course you Earthlings
lack our great stamina,
167
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,629
supreme intellect, and
strength of character.
168
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,331
- Not to mention
your extreme modesty.
169
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,333
(audience laughs)
170
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,736
- I might warn you that
even I am not completely
171
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,338
unaffected by your hate me glow.
172
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,408
I could learn to dislike you
with only a minimum effort.
173
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,476
(audience laughs)
174
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,778
- Uncle Martin!
175
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,547
Today is the interview!
176
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,016
- What interview?
177
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,984
- I told you, the young
executive training program!
178
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,586
Look, the Sun is diversifying.
179
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,487
They're taking young men
out of the organization
180
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:16,423
and training them as executives.
181
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:19,693
Mr. Phelps is going to
interview me himself.
182
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,995
- Tim, if that publisher
sees you in this condition
183
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,864
you'll be fortunate
if he only demotes you
184
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,599
to junior assistant
pencil sharpener.
185
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,000
(audience laughs)
186
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:30,203
- Uncle Martin this interview
means my whole career!
187
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,705
- Tim if I don't
get that florenzium,
188
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:35,108
your whole career will consist
of standing in bread lines.
189
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,877
Now stay away from Mr.
Phelps or I assure you,
190
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,846
you will be unemployed.
191
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,448
- Yeah, but Uncle Martin you...
192
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,856
Why did I ever have to get
involved with a Martian?
193
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,824
If I say one thing,
if I ever run across
194
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:53,627
a Martian again, I'm gonna
keep right on running
195
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:56,263
and I'm not gonna get involved.
196
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,739
(phone rings)
197
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,042
- Morning, Mr. Phelps office.
198
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,678
- Ah, hello Debbie.
199
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,681
This is Tim.
200
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:17,050
- Well Tim it's good
to hear your voice.
201
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,087
So you're sick huh?
202
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,122
Nothing trivial I hope.
203
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,158
- Oh no, not on the phone too.
204
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:29,129
Now Debbie, don't believe
what you're thinking.
205
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,534
- Good morning Mr. Phelps.
206
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,369
- Good morning Ms. Tylis.
207
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,805
- That goldbrick O'Hara
from the newsroom's
208
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,439
trying to weasel out
of his appointment.
209
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,908
- Debbie what are you saying?
210
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,542
Listen, don't listen
to her Mr. Phelps.
211
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,878
Debbie will you put Mr.
Phelps on the phone, no no no
212
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,947
don't put him on the phone.
213
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,515
- Mr. Phelps wishes me
to inform you he'll call
214
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,183
at your home this evening
for your interview.
215
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,985
He's as much interested
in the private lives
216
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:55,088
of his applicants in
sickness as he is in health.
217
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,089
- What?
218
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,290
Now listen Debbie, listen Debbie
219
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,525
you don't know
what you're saying.
220
00:10:58,558 --> 00:10:59,760
I'm telling you one
thing right now,
221
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,061
don't let Mr. Phelps
come over here,
222
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,562
and Debbie don't hang up.
223
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,364
Debbie don't, Debbie.
224
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,167
Debbie?
225
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:11,872
Oh.
226
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:20,748
Information.
227
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,417
Do you have a listing
228
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,418
for the Foreign Legion?
229
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,922
(audience laughs)
230
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:31,124
Well that's not very nice!
231
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,828
(pleasant music)
232
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,335
(barking)
233
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,806
Nice doggy.
234
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:46,740
Nice doggy.
235
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,010
(audience laughs)
236
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,678
Oh now now come on, come on.
237
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,913
Let me go by will ya?
238
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,448
(barking)
239
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,150
Look, my boss is
coming over here
240
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:59,586
and if he sees me, I'm
going to get fired.
241
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,321
He--
(dog barks)
242
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,090
Well you don't want
me to get fired do ya?
243
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,391
(barking)
244
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,826
Look, I'll tell
you what I'll do.
245
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,428
If you let me go by,
I'll get you a bone
246
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,697
or something really
nice to chew on.
247
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,165
(growling)
248
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:13,666
Didn't mean me!
249
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,969
(audience laughs)
250
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,171
(barking)
251
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,608
(banging)
252
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,989
(growling)
253
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,725
- Well hello you sweet thing.
254
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,628
Oh my aren't you
the friendly one?
255
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:44,397
(pleasant music)
256
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:53,740
(audience laughs)
257
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,477
(knocking)
258
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,282
What is the meaning of this?
259
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,516
- Well Mrs. Brown,
it was just an idea
260
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,718
to keep my boss
from coming inside.
261
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,055
I'm afraid if he sees
me, he'll fire me.
262
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,023
- Well I should
certainly think he would!
263
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,324
I'm gonna put this
down on the lawn
264
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,625
where more people can see it.
265
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,861
- But I don't mean it.
266
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,063
- Well I do, that's
the first decent idea
267
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,998
you've had since
you moved in here.
268
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:22,202
I shall expect you to vacate
the premises within 24 hours.
269
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,043
- Uncle Martin.
270
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,412
Wherever you are will
you please come home
271
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:35,082
before you haven't got
a home to come home to?
272
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,951
(audience laughs)
273
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,800
(growling)
274
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,669
(audience laughs)
275
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,214
(sighs)
276
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,216
Hello, city pound?
277
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,919
I would, I'd like to report
a vicious dog downstairs.
278
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,286
He won't let me out of my house.
279
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,488
(audience laughs)
280
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:16,489
I did not kick him.
281
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,691
(audience laughs)
282
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,994
Well I don't care
what I sound like,
283
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:23,931
I've never kicked
a dog in my life!
284
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,067
Investigate me for what?
285
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,402
Cruelty to animals!
286
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:30,971
(audience laughs)
287
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:34,241
But I didn't, well I
know there are laws.
288
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,043
Now listen to me I...
289
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:37,744
Hello?
290
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,594
(audience laughs)
291
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,365
(whistling)
292
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,232
Mm.
293
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,107
(barking)
294
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:17,484
(audience laughs)
295
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,856
- [Martin] What are you doing?
296
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,092
- What am I doing?
297
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,193
I'm trying to get
that little dog
298
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,494
from the front to the back
299
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,497
so that I can go out
the, Uncle Martin!
300
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,831
Uncle Martin you're home!
301
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,366
- [Martin] No I'm not.
302
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,535
I'm out in the desert about
five miles east of Palmdale.
303
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,037
(audience laughs)
304
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,405
- Oh now look what you've done.
305
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,040
- [Martin] It wouldn't
have worked anyway.
306
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,008
- What do you mean it
wouldn't have worked?
307
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:44,044
It was working fine until you...
308
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,212
Palmdale?
309
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:46,579
- [Martin] I am
coming to you through
310
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,349
the forces of mental
telepathy audio.
311
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:52,419
On Mars we abbreviate it to MTA.
312
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,886
It's merely another
manifestation
313
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,356
of our superior
Martian intellect.
314
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,824
- Really?
315
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,727
Well, it was that same
superior Martian intellect
316
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,696
that got me into this
in the first place.
317
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,632
(audience laughs)
318
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,768
Do you mind reversing it
and getting me out of it?
319
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,337
- [Martin] I'm doing
the best I can,
320
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,005
but it isn't easy
trying to locate
321
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:16,109
this florenzium for you with
Brennan breathing down my neck.
322
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,644
- Brennan?
323
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:18,645
- [Martin] When
he saw me leaving,
324
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,280
he couldn't bear for us to part.
325
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,349
He insisted on tagging along.
326
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:27,020
- [Brennan] Martin, Martin
old friend, where are you?
327
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,088
- [Martin] He's looking for me.
328
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,222
I'll have to hang up.
329
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:30,990
- Oh really?
330
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:34,294
What do you suggest I
do about Mr. Phelps?
331
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,428
- [Martin] Phelps?
332
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:36,529
- Yeah, he...
333
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,301
(growling)
334
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:45,805
He happens to be coming
over here to interview me.
335
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,807
- [Martin] Saturn's
sainted rings, Tim.
336
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,077
How did you manage that?
337
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:53,613
(audience laughs)
338
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:54,881
Tim?
339
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,549
Tim are you there?
340
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,151
Did we lose the connection?
341
00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,018
- No, no.
342
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,091
We lost a $50 fishing rod.
343
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,325
- [Martin] That
isn't important now.
344
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,559
The important thing
is to make you over
345
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,129
into someone other
than Tim O'Hara.
346
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,164
- Well it may not
be important to you,
347
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,865
but $50 is important to me.
348
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:16,303
After all, I work
for a living and...
349
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,071
We have to do what?
350
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,539
- [Martin] For the
time being, no one
351
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:22,475
can stand the sight of
you including Mr. Phelps.
352
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,010
Ergo in order to
protect our livelihood
353
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:27,847
you'll have to disguise
yourself as someone else.
354
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,482
- Really?
355
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:30,850
Any suggestions?
356
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,057
(audience laughs)
357
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,066
(glass tinkles)
358
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,135
(audience laughs)
359
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,569
- Mm, I keep forgetting.
360
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,837
That's the third mirror today.
361
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,706
(audience laughs)
362
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,008
(knocking)
363
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,777
Oh coming Mr. Phelps.
364
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,485
(knocking)
365
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,787
Yeah, yeah, I mean yes yes.
366
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,997
- Oh are you Tim's uncle Martin?
367
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,267
- Uncle Martin?
368
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,569
Oh no no, I'm not my uncle.
369
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,504
I mean Tim's uncle, no no.
370
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,873
I am in no way related
to that handsome, young,
371
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:29,709
charming, sophisticated,
would you give me that back?
372
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,144
I'm supposed to
be somebody else.
373
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:34,181
- All right handsome, young,
despicable Tim O'Hara.
374
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,382
Who are you hiding from?
375
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,916
What detestable
thing have you done?
376
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,084
- I haven't done
anything, I'm trying
377
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,520
to keep from getting fired!
378
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,289
- I just simply
don't understand it.
379
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:46,259
All day long I couldn't wait
to see you to apologize,
380
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,161
and now that I see you, yuck!
381
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,462
- All right, I
forgive you Imogene.
382
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,863
Now give back my
mustache and get
383
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:52,131
out of here before
Phelps gets here.
384
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:55,067
- You let go of me you beast.
385
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:58,271
- You are looking
at a desperate man.
386
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:01,608
(growling, barking)
387
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,610
Oh Mrs. Brown, would you please
get that dog out of here?
388
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,312
(growling)
389
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,779
No, no, nice dog.
390
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:10,783
Nice, nice doggy, nice doggy.
391
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,085
Mrs. Brown, nice nice puppy,
392
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,554
would you please let go?
393
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,889
(barking)
394
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:20,293
Mrs. Brown, will you
please call off this hound?
395
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,462
- Stop that Tim, you're
liable to hurt him.
396
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,163
(audience laughs)
397
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,198
- Good idea.
398
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,637
(knocking)
399
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:41,113
- Oh, good day sir.
400
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:42,649
If you're looking
for Mr. Tim O'Hara
401
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,150
why don't you come
back another day, sir?
402
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,753
Believe me, he's
not feeling well.
403
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:50,122
- Your mustache O'Hara, is
indicative of the diligence
404
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:53,926
with which you applied yourself
to your former employment.
405
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,061
- Now Mr. Phelps
I'd like to explain
406
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,829
about this, former employment?
407
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,498
- Yes you called in
to cancel an extremely
408
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,933
important interview with me
and now I see you're preparing
409
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,669
to go out to a masquerade.
410
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,672
Will you stand still
when I'm talking to you?
411
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,839
- Yes sir.
412
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,141
(growling)
413
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:14,046
- O'Hara, if I didn't
dislike you so intensely
414
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,016
I'd try to be fair
with you, but...
415
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,219
What is this?
- It's a dog.
416
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,488
- What?
417
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:22,989
- Well you see he's
terribly fond of me.
418
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,491
He follows me everywhere I go.
419
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,959
- You know I'm strongly
tempted to hire you back again.
420
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,461
- Oh?
421
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:32,365
- Just so I can have the
pleasure of re-firing you.
422
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,566
- Sir?
423
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,201
Would you mind
opening that door?
424
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,936
I don't want to get
near that, that--
425
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,204
- Careful.
426
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,439
- [Imogene] In fact
I don't want to stay
427
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,407
in the same room
with him any longer
428
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,974
than is absolutely necessary.
429
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:42,942
- Neither do I.
430
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,877
You better let go of him, doggy.
431
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,446
He may not have had
his distemper shots.
432
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:47,880
- Oh Mrs...
433
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,682
(audience laughs)
434
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:52,819
- O'Hara, you really
are a cur, sir.
435
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:53,853
(dog barks)
436
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,288
No offense.
437
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,824
(audience laughs)
438
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,527
(knob rattling)
439
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,000
Will you kindly
unlock that door?
440
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:09,035
- Mr. Phelps, I wish
you'd reconsider--
441
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,570
- Open that door!
442
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,440
(audience laughs)
443
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,443
- Uncle Martin?
444
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,478
- Ah, shame on you Tim!
445
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,046
Trying to blame your Uncle
Martin for breaking the door
446
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:20,980
when he isn't even here!
447
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,415
- Oh he isn't huh?
448
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,150
- Oh you're
absolutely obnoxious.
449
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:25,418
- [Mr. Phelps]
I'll open the door.
450
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,019
- It's my door, Mr. Phelps.
451
00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:29,922
I am perfectly
capable of opening it.
452
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,191
- If I'm not out of
here in five minutes, I,
453
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,461
I'm going to call the police.
454
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:36,696
- Psst, Uncle Martin?
455
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:40,032
Oh come on, I know
you're around somewhere.
456
00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:41,334
Uncle Martin?
457
00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:42,268
Hey--
- Ow.
458
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:47,139
- Oh Uncle Martin, welcome home!
459
00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:48,007
- Hold it.
460
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:51,110
- What's that?
461
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,645
- Shh, florenzium.
462
00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:54,113
- Flor, oh oh oh!
463
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,552
(audience laughs)
464
00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:00,587
Huh huh huh?
465
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,557
(dog whining)
466
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:07,927
It worked, it worked!
467
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,161
I'm lovable again!
468
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:10,363
- I hope you've
learned a lesson,
469
00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:11,931
not to touch things that
don't belong to you.
470
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:13,633
- Oh believe me, listen
I've learned more than that.
471
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,768
From now on, no more
artificial aids.
472
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,470
From here on in,
people are just gonna
473
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,338
have to like me for myself.
474
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:20,640
- [Mr. Phelps] Well
there's only one thing
475
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:21,908
to do, break the door
down, stand back.
476
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,443
- You do and you'll pay for it.
477
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:25,978
- Madam may I remind
you, time is money.
478
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:28,615
- Ooh well I'm going
to call the police.
479
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:31,484
- [Lorelei] Well
I wish you would.
480
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:36,255
(pleasant music)
481
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:41,494
(giggles)
482
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,329
- Oh that's all
right, I won't bite.
483
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,764
(audience laughs)
484
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:47,800
- Oh, oh let me
get that for you.
485
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:49,268
- Oh Tim.
486
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:52,038
Oh you're such a
dear, sweet boy.
487
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,174
I'm going downstairs
to bake a batch
488
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,876
of fudge brownies just for you!
489
00:22:56,909 --> 00:22:58,210
(audience laughs)
490
00:22:58,244 --> 00:22:59,512
- [Tim] Thanks Mrs. Brown.
491
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,080
- I don't understand
this at all, O'Hara.
492
00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,849
Somehow you just don't strike me
493
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,151
as being executive material,
494
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:07,520
but then again neither
are you as contemptuous
495
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:10,256
or despicable as I was thinking.
496
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:13,392
You'd better stay in your
present position as a reporter,
497
00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:16,162
for the time being at least.
498
00:23:16,195 --> 00:23:17,096
(audience laughs)
499
00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:17,964
O'Hara.
500
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,801
- Yes sir, thank you sir.
501
00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:24,571
- Yes, well.
502
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:26,939
Good day.
503
00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:27,974
- Yes it is.
504
00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:31,944
- Excuse me.
505
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,014
Hello Tim.
506
00:23:35,047 --> 00:23:36,148
Hello.
507
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:38,618
Is my old friend Martin here?
508
00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:42,054
- Hello Bill.
509
00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:43,990
- Bill?
510
00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:45,858
Bill?
511
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,698
I think I resent your
familiarity, O'Hara.
512
00:23:51,731 --> 00:23:52,932
Hereafter I should
appreciate you
513
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:56,836
addressing me by my last
name, Mr. Brennan sir.
514
00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:01,574
(growling)
515
00:24:04,511 --> 00:24:07,313
(audience laughs)
516
00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:15,087
- I say, what did
you say to the dog?
517
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:19,158
- Nothing, I merely implied
that Mr. Brennan, sir,
518
00:24:19,191 --> 00:24:20,192
was a sausage.
519
00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:23,062
(audience laughs)
520
00:24:25,898 --> 00:24:28,034
- Well don't wait up for
me tonight, Uncle Martin.
521
00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:29,569
I may not decide
to forgive Imogene
522
00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:32,371
until about two
or three o'clock.
523
00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:35,808
You're not gonna use that
benevolence bulb again.
524
00:24:35,842 --> 00:24:36,676
- Mhmm.
525
00:24:38,177 --> 00:24:39,712
But not on myself, Tim.
526
00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:42,081
I contemplate forestalling
Mr. Brennan's further attempts
527
00:24:42,114 --> 00:24:44,283
to prove that I do not exist.
528
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:45,518
- You're gonna use that on him?
529
00:24:45,552 --> 00:24:46,686
- Uh-huh.
530
00:24:46,719 --> 00:24:48,054
- But, but that'll
give him a hate me glow
531
00:24:48,087 --> 00:24:50,222
like it did to me.
532
00:24:50,256 --> 00:24:51,323
- Do tell.
533
00:24:51,357 --> 00:24:54,193
(audience laughs)
534
00:24:57,530 --> 00:25:00,132
(upbeat music)
36966
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