All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S02E07.My.Uncle.the.Folk.Singer.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

* I lost my true lover

* In courtin' too slow

* For courtin's a pleasure

* And partin' is grief

* And a false-hearted lover

(audience laughing)

* Is worse than a thief

(magical music)

* A thief he will rob you

- Aw, too late, I lost
four bars of the chorus.

- Oh I'm sorry, Uncle Martin.

I didn't see you sitting there.

I'm afraid I'm a little upset.

I just got stood up by my date.

- Well in that case,
your irritation

is understandable,
my sympathies.

- Was that folk music you
were just listening to?

- Um hmm.

- I didn't know you
like folk music.

- Oh well, it's
part of my research

into your social patterns,
and he was rather good.

The Brothers Four Minus Three.

- He?

The Brothers Four Minus Three?

Why does he call himself that?

- You're asking me?

These are your Earth people.

When it comes to Earth
creatures, my field

is anthropology, not psychiatry.

However, I'll be able to
add him to my collection

in another recording session.

- Uh, I don't see any equipment.

- Naturally, my skull
blocks the view.

- In your head?

- Yes.

- You have a recording machine?

- Um hmm.
(Tim laughing)

Tim, no, no, no, no, no.

The process is all mental.

My brain contains
silicone wafers.

They absorb auditory
impulses and store them up

for future playback.

- Sure, just like the memory
bank of an electronic computer.

I don't believe it.

- Yeah, my library of Earth
music is rather complete.

I've been recording it for
a couple of hundred years.

- And you can play back
any time you want to?

- Um hmm.

* We will rally
from the hillside

* We'll gather from the plain

* Shouting the battle
cry of freedom *

- Hmm, but that's just
an old Civil War song.

- Exactly, and that's the
man who first sang it,

General Ulysses S. Grant.

(light music)

(magical music)

(antennae beeping)

(peppy music)

(light music)

Tim, your looks
had nothing to do

with your being stood up.

If she's a worthwhile girl,

she probably had
a better reason.

- Worthwhile!

Della's dignified, and
yet she's vivacious.

Well yeah, she's
intellectual, but she's hip

and cook, uh, is she cool.

And yet she still has that
little schoolgirl kinda charm.

- Naturally.

She has a split
personality like you.

Why not try her again?

- Well, pride I guess.

- Nonsense, I'm sure if you
went down to her coffee house--

- How did you know she
had a coffee house?

- A little bird told me.

- Bird?

- Bird, the one that makes
its nest in your mind.

(audience laughing)

- Well, I suppose you're right.

I guess I should give
her another chance, but.

Hey, hey Uncle Martin,
I've got a great idea.

Why don't you go down with me,

and that way she'll
think I'm bringing

you along just to listen
to the entertainment.

- Well, if you think that
I could be of some help.

And who knows, I may
add some new fragment

of vulgar Earth noise
to my collection.

- Vulgar Earth noise?

- Well what else can
you call it, music?

- Why do you always
pick on Earth?

I mean, I don't pick on Mars.

- Well how can you?

You know nothing about us.

Well perhaps I am
being too disparaging

of your rather
primitive melodies,

but that's because I
prefer Martian music.

- I have never heard
a Martian song.

- Than you're in for a treat.

- Oh?

(cacophonous music)

- Wasn't that beautiful?

You Earthlings, you simply
do not appreciate culture.

- No, no, no, I'm glad
you sang your song.

- Really?

- Yes, now I know
something about Mars,

that I can criticize.

(audience laughing)

* And there I took her life

* I met her on the mountain
- Tim!

Oh Tim, I'm so sorry
I stood you up,

but honestly it's just
been panic-time all day.

- Well, think nothing of it.

Actually, I brought my
Uncle Martin down here

to hear the music.

Oh, Della Darwell, this
is my Uncle Martin.

- Hi.
- How do you do?

- Now look, Tim, please
try to understand.

You see, they shut off
my gas and electricity,

so I had to call 'em up and
talk 'em into turning it on,

and the next thing, I've
been arguing all day

with my restaurant supply
about stopping deliveries,

and now the landlord's
hounding me for the rent.

- Gee, I'm really sorry
to hear that, Della.

- Well with this
kind of success,

why even bother to stay open?

- Well I'm hoping that
eventually I can make

enough of a go of it to
kinda keep me in school.

- School?

- UCLA, I'm going for
my Master's degree.

But, if I don't do any
better than I'm doing now,

I'll never make it.

- Oh miss.

Could we have a
couple of cappuccinos

and two hero sandwiches?

You see what happens,
as soon as we come in,

business picks up.

- Well just keep on eating.

I need the money.

See ya later.

* I met her on the mountain

* And stabbed her
with my knife *

(patrons applauding)

- Very mediocre, not
even worth recording.

Tim, what is this?

- Mmm, it's cappuccino, why?

- Cappuccino, what's that?

- Well, it's an Italian coffee.

It's expresso with a
little bit of cinnamon.

- Tim, how could you?

It distorts my metabolism.

My silicone wafers lose
their electrical charge.

* Oh love, oh love, oh
love, oh love, oh love *

- I didn't know.

What's happening?

- My recorder playback.

I can't control it.

* Oh love, oh love, oh
love my careless love

* Oh love, oh love
my careless love

* Oh love, oh love my
careless, careless love

* Look and see what
careless love has done *

(audience applauding)

- Oh Tim, your uncle,
he's just wonderful.

Look at all the people.

- [Tim] Yeah.

- Why did he leave?

- Oh well, he's very shy.

- Shy?

Oh but, you know if
I only had him here,

then all my troubles
would be over.

Tim, do you think
that maybe you could

get him to come
back tomorrow night?

- Here?

- Yes.

- I, uh, you mean to sing?

- Well of course, I mean,
he's the greatest new

sound in folk music.

- Oh well, I don't think
- Oh Tim.

- I could, no.
- Please.

- Well I don't uh.

- Oh please, Tim.

- I don't really think
- Oh please, Tim.

- I could.

(romantic music)

Well I suppose I could

try to use my influence.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, good morning, Tim.

- Morning.

- Sorry I wasn't awake
last night when you got in,

but I had to sleep off that
small dose of cinnamon.

- I'm really sorry
about that Uncle Martin.

- It's not your fault.

You couldn't know.

- Boy, I must say,
you were really great

last night, though.

I mean really great.

- Naturally.

My playback gives
it a richer tone.

My recorder has
extremely high fidelity,

higher than any
equipment known on Earth.

- Say, I don't suppose
that you'd consider,

well, working a couple
of nights, would you?

- Tim, I'm surprised at you.

You know the risk of being
exposed as a Martian.

With the mentality of
your people, either they'd

start jumping off
buildings in panic,

or they'd put me on exhibit
in a circus sideshow.

- This is just a little
neighborhood joint.

It's dark in there, and
nobody's gonna notice you,

and besides--

- I know, I know, she needs
the business to stay in school.

A laudable ambition but
not my responsibility.

- You've got some
responsibility, to me.

- True, but you're merely
using me to ingratiate

yourself with her,
and for what purpose?

Her gratitude would
be merely an ego

satisfaction for you.

- Well it's my ego!

I mean, who has a better
right to give it satisfaction?

And besides, Della's
not just any girl.

She's a...

Well I feel
differently about her.

- I appreciate your
sincere feelings

about the young lady, Tim.

However, my desire to
avoid the limelight

should be completely
understandable.

- Well, that's gratitude for ya.

I mean, when you
had no place to go,

who took you in?

- And whenever you
got into difficulty,

who helped you out?

- Well that's the trouble
with our friendship,

it's in and out!

(audience laughing)

- Well, perhaps I have been
unnecessarily cautious.

Very well, Tim, I'll sing
at Della's if you want.

- You will?

Oh gee, that's great.

Thanks, Uncle Martin.

I mean, if you don't mind.

If you're sure you
don't mind doing it.

- No, no, no, I want to,
for the sake of friendship.

- That's great.

Thanks again, but

well, Uncle Martin, I
wouldn't want to take

advantage of our friendship.

- I insist.

- But I insist you don't
if you'd rather you didn't.

- Tim, it's my decision.

I'll show you what
a friend I am.

- Well no, I won't
let you do it!

I'm just as good a
friend as you are!

- Don't order me around, friend!

- Don't tell me
what to do, friend!

(tense music)

You know, uh, maybe
we kids better grow up

or we'll kick the slats
out of our playpen.

(light music)

* Jimmy crack corn,
and I don't care

* Jimmy crack corn,
and I don't care

* Jimmy crack corn,
and I don't care

* My master's gone away

* They laid him
under a Simmon tree

* His epitaph is there to see

* Beneath this stone
I'm forced to lie

* A victim of the blue-tail fly

* Jimmy crack corn,
and I don't care

* Jimmy crack corn,
and I don't care

* Jimmy crack corn,
and I don't care

* My master's gone away

(crowd applauding)

(funny music)

(crowd applauding)

- What was that?

- Oh hello, Tim.

- What was that?

- The thunderous applause
I received last night.

I recorded it.

It's such bliss
to hear it again.

(crowd applauding)

(audience laughing)

- Well um, what about
all these posters?

- I was hoping you'd like them.

They liven up the
place, don't they?

(magical music)

- Um, professional photographs?

- I ordered 1,000 to begin with.

My public is begging for
autographed pictures.

- Oh no.

Look, Uncle Martin,

would you please just
stop that for one second?

I want to talk to you.

- Go right ahead, Tim.

We Martians are quite
capable of doing

more than, ah, one
thing at a time.

- Uncle Martin,
you've got a problem.

- I know.

I'm not getting
enough publicity.

How about quitting your
job on the newspaper

and taking over
as my press agent?

- Will you just listen?

- You could start a
fan club, write up

some good reviews of my
act, promote a record

album for me, Uncle
Martin Sings Beethoven,

Country Music Style.

- What happened to you?

- The inevitable, I'm a star.

(audience laughing)

- Tim, you haven't said
two words all evening.

- I'm sorry, Della, I've
got something on my mind.

- Well maybe this
will cheer you up.

Your uncle's giving
a special concert.

- A special concert?

- Yes, tomorrow night.

I've gone all out.

I've got all these
big ads, and I've had

the place all redone.

I've sunk every
dime I have into it.

- Yeah, well, I'll
ah see ya hon.

- What's your rush?

The concert isn't
until tomorrow night.

- Well, I have something
special that I have to do.

You see, I have to make
Uncle Martin's breakfast.

- Oh, you prepare his
breakfast the night before?

- Well this is a very
special kind of breakfast.

Hi, Miss Brown.

Hey you know the old expression,

the way to a man's heart
is through his stomach?

- Yes, yes, I know it,
but the advice is useless.

It never told me how
to open his mouth.

- Well I know how,
with Uncle Martin.

- You do?

- Uh huh, I just discovered
his favorite food.

Why it'll speed you to his
heart like you're on a freeway.

- Oh!

Move over, I wanna
get in the fast lane.

- Well it's a special
recipe, toasted Italian

garlic bread with
lots of cinnamon.

(angry music)

- You traitor!

Now my recorder is
completely jammed!

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- Oh yes you do, I can
see it in your mind.

That toast was
loaded with cinnamon.

The garlic concealed it.

- Now just one second, you
oughta be proud of yourself,

some of your superior
intellect rubbed off on me.

- Proud?

- Um hmm.

- This is the worst
treachery since Socrates

drank that hemlock highball.

- All I was trying to do was
protect you from yourself.

- From myself?

- That's right, and
now your ego's not only

threatened your safety,
it's going to bankrupt

an innocent girl.

- What are you talking about?

- Della went into
hock for advertising,

extra help, decorations,
and now all the advance

ticket money's gonna
have to be returned.

- And you're
blaming me for that?

- Who else?

You were the one
who had to be saved,

even at her expense.

- You mean that lovely
young lady is being

sacrificed to protect me?

- Yup.

- Tim, I'm terribly ashamed.

Forgive me for acting
like such an idiotic,

pardon the
expression, Earthling.

- Well I guess I'm
sorta responsible, too.

After all, I was the
one who talked you

into all this in
the first place.

- Thank you, Tim, for
trying to relieve me

of some of my guilt.

We must find a way to
right this terrible wrong.

- How badly is your
recorder damaged?

- My silicone wafers
get their energy

from internal secretions
of adrenaline.

I need a massive dose of
natural adrenaline to recharge.

- Well if a Martian's
adrenaline glands get

stimulated the same
way as a human's

by emotional disturbance,
all I have to do

is, you know, get
you excited or angry.

- I'm afraid it's
not that simple, Tim.

We Martians are not as
easily disturbed as humans,

at least not by things
that happen on Earth.

(audience laughing)

- There must be something
else you can do.

- There's one other way.

Subject me to an
enormous shock wave

from a light beam of cold heat.

- A light beam of cold heat?

I never heard of such a thing.

- The method of producing
it exists only on Mars.

Wait, you've got it here, too.

You call it the laser.

- You mean that beam
of light they bounce

off the moon and back
in 2 1/2 seconds.

- That's the one,
concentrated light,

a pencil-thin beam
over vast distances.

Your scientists finally
figured out how to do it.

- Yeah, yeah, it's
been in the papers.

They also call it the death ray.

- Yes, it can make anything
in its path vanish,

but it has other uses:
delicate surgery,

radar, long-distance
communication,

it depends on the concentration.

- Where do we get such a gadget?

- I'll make it.

It's simple, laser comes
from the initial letters

of the words light
amplifications

by stimulated
emission of radiation.

- That's simple?

- I just need a ruby rod
about four inches long.

Any jewelry supply
house stocks it,

polish the ends to act
like internal mirrors,

wrap a coiled bulb around it,

and mount it in a slide
projector and away we go.

(busy music)

Now, aim it at my
head and switch it on.

- Well, how does it work?

- The flash from
the coil stimulates

red rays from the ruby.

The red rays bounce
back and forth inside.

A chain reaction builds up.

In a few seconds, the
laser beam bursts out.

(suspenseful music)

(phone ringing)

(dramatic music)

- Tim, answer the phone.

- The phone.

Hello.

Oh hello, Mrs. Brown.

Mrs. Brown.

- No, no, no, no, no.

- I'm sorry, Mrs.
Brown, he's busy.

What happened?

- It's set too high.

There's no time to adjust it.

Continue.

- But, won't the beam do
the same thing to your head?

- No, no, no.

I set up brain wave
frequencies to neutralize

the destructive element,
but you be careful.

- Yeah.

(suspenseful music)

(knocking)

- [Lorelei] Oh Martin,
may I go with you

to the club tonight?

- Yes, yes, I'll see
ya later, Mrs. Brown.

Hurry up, Tim, hurry up.

Della will be here
soon to pick me up.

- Well the beam hit your head.

- It didn't stay on long enough.

I need a bigger jolt.

- [Lorelei] Oh Martin, I
want your okay on this dress

I'm wearing tonight.

(frantic music)

- He'll be right
down, Mrs. Brown!

(laser firing)

- Tim, look out.

- Boy, that was close.

- Tim.

- Well I'm sorry,
Uncle Martin, it's just

makin' me a nervous wreck.

- Well then sit down.

- Yeah okay.

Where?

- Don't worry about the
furniture, it was cheap.

We can replace it easily.

(light music)

(knocking)

- [Della] Uncle Martin?

I just dropped by
to give you a lift.

- Della.

Wait in the car, please.

I can't go with her now.

- Well it's too late.

You can't stall her
like you did Mrs. Brown.

She'll get suspicious.

Look, maybe you'll think
of something on the way.

- That's exactly what
Marie Antoinette said

on the way to the guillotine!

(audience laughing)

(gentle music)

- Well it's no use,
you were supposed to go

on five minutes ago.

I guess we're licked.

- Yeah.

Aren't those my
socks you're wearing?

- Oh yeah, why?

- You're always
borrowing my things.

My shirts, my ties, my sweaters.

I've told you 1,000 times
not to go through my dresser.

- Well don't get sore about it.

- This is the last straw.

I'm getting sick and
tired of your flagrant

disregard of my
personal property.

- Hey come on, Uncle
Martin, take it easy.

- Take it easy?

Those are hand-knit socks!

You're always wearing
holes in them!

You've got an insufferable
nerve, nerve, nerve.

- Your face is getting red.

* The gospel train is coming

* I can hear it round the bend

* I hear the car wheels movin'

* And runnin' through the land

* Get on board little children

* Get on board little children

* Get on board little children

* There's room for many more

* I hear the bell and whistle

* A-comin' round the curve

* She's blowin'
all her steam out

* And strainin' every nerve

* Get on board little children

* Get on board little children

* Get on board little children

* There's room for many more

* To signal for
another train to follow

* On the line
- You're losing control!

* Consider you're forever lost

* If once you're left behind

- You're getting too loud!
* Get on board little children

* Get on board little children

* Get on board little children

* There's room for many more

* She's comin' to the station

* Oh sinner don't be vain

* Now come and get your ticket

* And be ready for the train

* Get on board little children
(glass shattering)

* Get on board little children

* Get on board little children

* There's room for many more
(glass shattering)

(ceiling crashing)
* The fare is cheap

* And all can go

* The rich and poor are there

* No second class
aboard this train

* No difference in the fare

* Get on board little children

(dramatic music)

- Well I just drove Della back
from the insurance adjuster.

They're gonna pay off
her insurance policy.

Looks like she'll be
able to get the place

all fixed up and probably
have a few bucks left over.

- Well I'm delighted.

I'm also through
recording folk music.

From now on, I'll just
continue recording

political speeches.

- Political speeches?

- That disturbs you?

- Well suppose
something went wrong

with your recorder?

You'd be the first Martian
in the White House.

(audience laughing)

- Hmm,

hmm, hmm.

An interesting thought.

("Hail to the Chief")

Fellow Americans, if
I'm elected to office,

I promise.

(crescendoing music)

(light music)

(deep music)