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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Son of a gun
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00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:49,250
♪ You walked into the party ♪
5
00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:53,654
♪ Like you were ♪
♪ Walking onto a yacht ♪
6
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:58,859
♪ Your hat strategically dipped ♪
♪ Below one eye ♪
7
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:02,896
♪ Your scarf, it was apricot ♪
8
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:07,535
♪ You had one eye In the mirror ♪
9
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:12,039
♪ As you watched yourself Gavotte ♪
10
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,774
♪ And all the girls... ♪
11
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,610
How does a girl who falls...
12
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,446
No, actually, she jumps,
13
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:22,283
eyes open, down a rabbit hole,
plummeting into chaos,
14
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:24,918
come out the other end
unchanged?
15
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,421
The answer?
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00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,022
She doesn't.
17
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:35,296
See, I know,
because that girl is me.
18
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:39,066
♪ You're so vain ♪
19
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:43,604
♪ You probably think ♪
♪ This song is about you ♪
20
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:46,874
♪ You're so vain ♪
♪ So vain ♪
21
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,776
♪ I'll bet you think this song... ♪
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00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,712
But to truly understand
the predicament I was in,
23
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,182
i.e., stuck
in the middle of chaos...
24
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:56,384
...you'd have to go back
25
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,352
to that first day at my new job.
26
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:00,354
Actually, to be fair,
27
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,390
you should go back
a little further,
28
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,857
starting with Mom.
29
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,360
Don't worry,
I'm not blaming her...
30
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:07,695
entirely.
31
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,832
She believed that all problems
could be solved
32
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,501
by listening to Carly Simon.
33
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,903
Greatest Hits.
34
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,306
Side two. Hurry.
35
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,446
My father sits at night
With no lights on...
36
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:29,317
Something about her voice
or her lyrics or her music
37
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,585
helped Mom clear the chaos,
38
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:35,088
especially after a fight
with Dad...
39
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:38,859
...or when he left
us for good.
40
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,430
People said Mom was better off
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00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,897
They said she was lucky.
42
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,466
But she believed...
43
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:51,405
Luck is when preparation
meets opportunity.
44
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,707
You've got to prepare
for the life you want.
45
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:56,277
And though I knew I wanted
a career
46
00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,711
in broadcast journalism,
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00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,147
it took a little Carly
and a lot of time
48
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,783
to find the person
I most wanted to work with...
49
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,084
But she is smart...
50
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,486
...Diane Sawyer.
51
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:08,722
Chic, smart, intelligent...
52
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,891
And she married well.
Good point.
53
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,193
She's a little beige.
54
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:16,163
No, no. She's taupe.
Taupe is never beige.
55
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:18,699
Taupe's classic, confident.
56
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,501
It says, "I'm elegant."
57
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,102
"And I don't need color
to prove it."
58
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,471
There you go.
59
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,873
Oh, I want to work
with her one day.
60
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,509
You should work with her.
I will work with her.
61
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:31,912
With my career decided,
I left for college,
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00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:35,215
hopeful I would meet someone
I could be certain of.
63
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,818
Phillip. Sean. Bruce.
Jeremy. Gideon. Noah.
64
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,788
Mudfoot. Dan. Trotsky.
Earl. Frank. Brian. Bean.
65
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,089
Bean? As in, "How have you...?"
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00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,524
Bean. Yeah.
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00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:44,992
I really, really like him, Mom.
68
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,126
You do?
69
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:49,062
Yeah, I do.
I think I do. Maybe.
70
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,364
Don't over-commit yourself
71
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:53,200
unless you are
absolutely certain.
72
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,570
You've got to prepare
for the life you want.
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00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,072
Again, I turned to Carly.
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00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:03,377
Nobody does it better
75
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:06,914
Makes me feel sad
76
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,782
For the rest
77
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:14,488
Nobody does it
Half as good as you...
78
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,790
And while my roommates
weren't as understanding
79
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,225
as I'd hoped...
80
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,927
Is that Stacy again?
Come back to bed.
81
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,629
...it did bring certainty.
82
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,996
I'm sorry, Bean.
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00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,699
We have only but one road
to travel in this life,
84
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,068
and I just don't think
we're on the same one.
85
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,937
So to get more involved,
86
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,839
or for me to over-commit myself,
87
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,474
would just lead to chaos.
88
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:34,808
But how do you know?
89
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,110
I am certain.
90
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,015
I mean, what if you're wrong?
91
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,084
What if we're
supposed to be together?
92
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,887
What if you just made the
biggest mistake of your life?
93
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:49,823
Stacy, honey!
94
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,725
Smile.
95
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,126
There are moments in life
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00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,896
where you hope
your decisions weren't rash.
97
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,366
Bean! Bean!
98
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:01,569
And moments where you just know.
99
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,036
Stacy.
Derek.
100
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,138
Nice to meet you.
Yeah, ditto.
101
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,808
I had met my life mate.
102
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:10,010
I was certain.
103
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:16,384
That's good.
Guys.
104
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,851
Yes?
The bar's closed.
105
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,423
What are you doing?!
106
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,892
That first year of our
relationship was amazing.
107
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:29,630
We were in sync,
inseparable and in love.
108
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,768
And though I technically
still lived with Mom,
109
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:38,238
I was spending practically
all my time at Derek's.
110
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,376
My life was going
according to plan.
111
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,577
Sort of.
112
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,746
Derek!
Bob! Bob!
113
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,280
Professionally speaking,
114
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,017
I was the go-to girl
in a dead-end job.
115
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,753
I mean, you can only
work your way up for so long.
116
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,154
Right?
117
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,789
It was time to move on.
118
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,259
And while Diane Sawyer
was still out of reach,
119
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:02,596
television personality
Kippie Kann wasn't.
120
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:07,701
The grand dame of daytime talk
needed an associate producer.
121
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:08,802
Me.
122
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,004
It was a match made in Trenton
123
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,607
Which pretty much brings us
up to speed.
124
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,476
Ira Nachlis. Follow.
125
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,878
The beginning of the end.
126
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,613
Day one.
127
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,482
Oi. Er...
128
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:25,486
Tight on space,
but your desk is right next to
129
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,621
- Barb.
- Campbell-hyphen-Dunn.
130
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,156
Hi.
Hi.
131
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,058
Meet our new associate
producer, Stacy Hoyt.
132
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,926
Holt.
Whatever.
133
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,128
Put your stuff down and
I'll take you to the taping.
134
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,697
Okay.
135
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,499
We got pictures of six
different strippers he's been with.
136
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,733
Cheating bastard.
137
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,969
They call it "fluffing."
Prepping the guests.
138
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:44,605
Yeah, we got proof. Go on now,
be strong... and violent.
139
00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,807
By the time they're on they're
ready to go nine rounds.
140
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,241
You'll see.
141
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,243
So there's two shows today,
9 and 3.
142
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,012
Nine is "Cheating Bastards."
My idea.
143
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,413
Hey, I owe you one, Bea.
144
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:54,682
Oh, no problem.
145
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,884
That's a great idea.
Thanks.
146
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,987
Why aren't you producing?
I am. Carl just takes credit.
147
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,723
Deep breath.
148
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,357
And showtime.
149
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:09,797
- Pathway, people.
- I'm on my way, on my way.
150
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,198
Hi.
151
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,266
Anybody have tickets
for Thomas Oglestein?
152
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,704
Uh, I haven't proofed these
yet They look okay to you?
153
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,506
Did you use the words "dope,"
"dog" and "stripper"
154
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,640
at least five times?
155
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:20,741
Yeah.
They're fine.
156
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:21,842
They're fine.
157
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,644
Good lord, is it just me?
158
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,879
I think a horse in Montana
is missing his feedbag.
159
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,148
I just got word
we're about ready to start,
160
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,617
but before we do,
161
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,552
I'd like you all
to get to know one another.
162
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,353
If everyone could turn
to the person behind them
163
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,255
and shake hands,
that would be great.
164
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,326
You guys are not that bright.
We are really gonna start...
165
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,028
I lost my scream.
166
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,162
What?
167
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,131
I have doorbell, buzzer,
rapidly-beating heart...
168
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,667
But no scream, no show!
No scream, no show!
169
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,136
Go, Barb.
170
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,374
Run title.
171
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,777
Stand by, DP.
172
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,680
- Thanks, Barb.
- Did we get that?
173
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,081
And cue applause.
174
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,951
- Standing by.
- Stand by, Kippie.
175
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,787
Go gray, and cue Kippie.
176
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,427
There she is!
177
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,470
Hey, nice to see you.
178
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,338
Hey, hello.
179
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:28,041
Hello.
180
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,578
She's getting ahead of you.
Stand by, camera three.
181
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:31,679
Stand by, three.
182
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,080
Camera three.
183
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,582
Carl, what are you looking at?
184
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,783
Four next.
185
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,122
Welcome to Kippie Kann Do!
186
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,025
Today we're putting the dogs
to the ultimate test.
187
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,127
Is your man a cheating bastard?
188
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,662
No!
189
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:49,930
Then he'll have to pass
190
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:52,032
the Kippie Kann Lie Detector
to prove it.
191
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,366
Phil, camera two.
192
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:54,968
Camera two, ready?
193
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,103
Cue doorbell.
194
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,938
Cue scream.
195
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,072
Better get that.
196
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,341
Yeah, bring it on, sucker!
197
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,811
What up? What!
198
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,112
Cue apes.
199
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,014
Apes?
Security.
200
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,515
Oh. Hoo-hoo.
201
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,585
Yeah, represent!
202
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,991
What? What? What? Unh!
203
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,660
Rapper Boy Taye.
Yeah.
204
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,294
Why do you think you're here?
205
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,663
I'm here because
206
00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,632
my woman's getting
a hot hoochie-mama makeover.
207
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,734
- Camera four.
- I'd do her.
208
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,603
There is some kind of critter
under the table.
209
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,371
It's either a rat...
210
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:34,775
My sister saw you humping
on a dirty-girl stripper.
211
00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,309
Dirty-girl stripper?
212
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,846
You crazy! I never been
with no stripper.
213
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,049
That ain't your grandma.
214
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,984
- That ain't me.
- Liar!
215
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,754
You stupider than you look!
No, you didn't!
216
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,056
What are you, crazy?
217
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,423
You a dirty dog.
218
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:51,825
Now, let's not rush to judgment.
219
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,927
Are you willing
to prove it, Taye?
220
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:56,964
Yeah.
What do you say, audience?
221
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,466
Prove it! Prove it!
Prove it! Prove it!
222
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:00,901
Prove it! Prove it!
223
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:08,175
- I've got nothing.
- Lori, what's up?
224
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,410
Another guest?
225
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,012
Do we have
the right running order?
226
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,146
Should we have someone?
227
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,715
Who's up?
228
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,183
I'm sorry.
I don't have this.
229
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:18,986
Whoa!
230
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,321
Hello? Anyone there?
231
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,090
Oh, Jesus.
Kippie's gonna...
232
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,225
[MIC SLAMS, FEEDBACK SCREECHES
Thar she blows.
233
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,426
Kippie can't keep covering,
Carl!
234
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:27,861
Good girl.
235
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,229
Is anybody running anything
in the booth,
236
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,630
or is it just me
down here by myself?
237
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:32,866
I'm all alone down here!
238
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,501
What are you guys doing.
You're crazy!
239
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,170
What was the problem, Phil?
240
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:41,441
Oh, shoot! There it is.
It's a big one!
241
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:47,147
Okay, people, lots to do.
We've got two shows today.
242
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:50,617
But first I want to say hello
to our new associate producer,
243
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,352
our little doorbell-ringer
herself,
244
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,420
Stacy Holt.
245
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,654
What's up, girl?
246
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,656
Just kidding, Stace.
Just a little fun.
247
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:58,892
Welcome to our little thing.
248
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,528
Katie, you want
to show them the...
249
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,064
Take a look at our new look.
250
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:06,900
You've got to be kidding.
251
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:10,170
"Kippie Kann
keeps competitors crying..."
252
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,005
He's bringing back the hard K's.
253
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,240
The what?
254
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,808
Keep going, Katie, keep going.
255
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,410
It was her thing, you know?
Like a trademark.
256
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,980
"...creatively,
while keeping keen on..."
257
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,282
But that was
a million years ago.
258
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,550
Nostalgia, folks.
259
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:26,553
Hearkens back to a
simpler time. They eat it up.
260
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,288
Like when Captain Kangaroo
was king
261
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,023
and Casey Kasem
was still in kindergarten.
262
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,892
Casey Kasem?
He's nuts.
263
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,293
Who invented reality?
264
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,561
We did.
265
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,563
So keep those hard K's
coming on the cue cards.
266
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,165
Kip, you should be
in makeup, kiddo.
267
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,499
Cut the K's, Carl.
268
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:40,734
It's cute, it's Kippie...
269
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:41,835
It's crap!
270
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,103
Capisce?
271
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,338
Here's the thing.
272
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:48,175
That orchid on the desk,
well, I just got it.
273
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,812
Which can only mean
it's a new picture.
274
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,713
Let me see that.
275
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:54,948
She's right.
276
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,616
This cruelty cannot continue.
277
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:57,851
Katie... Carl.
278
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,086
Kippie.
279
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,754
If somebody
has a problem with me,
280
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,555
just tell me straight up.
Otherwise...
281
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,892
You get canned!
With a C.
282
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,162
Kippie, to makeup.
283
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,098
- Good girl.
- I told you.
284
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:14,601
I'll do my best to catch
the culprit, Kippie.
285
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,537
Thank you... um...
286
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,606
Ira.
287
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:21,909
Nachlis.
288
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,311
Nice to meet you.
289
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,582
I've worked here
for three years.
290
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:33,120
Okay, people!
Need your focus right here!
291
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,788
It's all about sweeps.
292
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:38,325
Give me drama, pathos,
life unfolding.
293
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,427
Make me cry.
294
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,030
Ira,
regurgitate something fresh.
295
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,298
"Midget Holiday Hell."
296
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,366
Stinks.
297
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,801
Come on, give it to Daddy.
298
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,769
"My Boyfriend's a Girl."
"Parents Who Party."
299
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,771
Who do they party with?
You're rejecting the midgets?
300
00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,006
Midgets.
What?
301
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,541
Mixed parents.
Happy mixed parents.
302
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,976
One normal size...
303
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,445
One midget?
Sexy. I like it.
304
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,247
Those midgets are mine!
305
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,548
You can't corner
the midget market!
306
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,516
Besides, yours only party
during holidays,
307
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,852
mine party as a family.
308
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,887
Are they a happy family?
It'd make you cry.
309
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,288
Kippie is great with sentiment
310
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:09,656
Okay, give me that thing.
311
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,458
Don't... Get back in the chair.
Don't touch it.
312
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,860
He has no happy, mixed midgets!
313
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,661
Gentlemen, please!
314
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:15,996
We combine the segments,
315
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:17,597
we share the credit
and the midgets.
316
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,567
We work together here, people.
We are a team.
317
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,801
"Grandma's a Hooker."
318
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:22,970
You got a grandma?
319
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,938
Several.
Run the prep.
320
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,806
- "Pregnant Strippers."
- "Penitentiary Porn."
321
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:27,941
"Little Black Books."
322
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,076
Do not follow.
323
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,511
Electronic little black books.
324
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:32,946
As in?
325
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:36,216
As in Palms, BlackBerries,
desk organizers.
326
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,685
Electronic footprints
327
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,221
of where your man has been
and with whom.
328
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:43,756
I don't think that...
Under the right circumstances,
329
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,658
they could prove to be
a girl's best friend.
330
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,795
Especially a... A scorned
girlfriend, wife, mistress...
331
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,263
I think it's a fantastic idea.
332
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,531
Thank you!
333
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,934
And since our audience
is 90 percent female...
334
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,302
Sexy. Run the prep.
335
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,037
Let's go! Come on.
336
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:58,171
"Pregnant Strippers."
"Black Midgets With Books."
337
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,239
"Hillbilly Love."
338
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,507
"Unnatural Animal Love."
339
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,608
Yes.
340
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,144
"Literacy in Inner-City
Schools."
341
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,279
- Shit! Take it back!
- Take it back!
342
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,081
- She was just kidding.
- That's funny.
343
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,317
And I tried to pretend I was.
344
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,321
First the doorbell,
then the staff meeting.
345
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,289
I'm absolutely mortified.
346
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,791
Don't worry.
No one will even remember.
347
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,660
You can ring my bell
348
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,695
Hey, hey, stop it.
Ring my bell
349
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:23,897
She's really upset.
350
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,798
Oh, please.
I'm the only victim here.
351
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,168
Why should I be forced
to share credit with...?
352
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,171
Not fair.
353
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,606
Your midget idea was tired.
His twist made it different.
354
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,575
Thanks. I feel so much better.
355
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,344
If you make sweeps
even with shared credit,
356
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,811
that's a huge deal.
357
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,948
I happen to know
that the people from Harpo,
358
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,182
Oprah's group,
359
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,516
TiVo every one of our shows.
360
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:44,717
For what it's worth,
361
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,319
I really like
your "Little Black Book" idea.
362
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,554
Really?
363
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,122
Yeah. So don't cry
in my soup.
364
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:52,259
So how does it all work exactly?
365
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,860
You put your best shows
in sweeps.
366
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,196
The most outrageous,
the most provocative.
367
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,597
You know, attention-grabbers.
368
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,232
And then they promo
the hell out of it.
369
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,934
It's all about getting
eyeballs, to get numbers,
370
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,569
to get revenue, to get renewed.
371
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,037
We're beginning sweeps now,
372
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,705
so things are pretty much
in the can.
373
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,640
So, what was pitched today?
374
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,042
June sluts.
375
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,511
Slots. Of which we average
nine a month.
376
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,346
"We" being the drones, the APs.
377
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,715
Every time an AP gets a slut...
Slot. It's a notch.
378
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:16,950
You know, like a credit.
379
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,351
You need so many credits
to advance.
380
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,586
And you have the most?
381
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,488
Catching on.
He's up next.
382
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,090
The only way
to jump ahead of him
383
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,691
is if you land the live show.
384
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,093
Please.
This month?
385
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,494
A week from Friday.
386
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,129
Which never happens.
APs never get the live show.
387
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,597
Karen Meskil.
Urban legend.
388
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:33,166
Anyway, if you do,
you're instantly promoted.
389
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,301
Wow.
390
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,602
Hi, Barbara.
391
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,005
- Hey, Kippie.
- Great show.
392
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,672
Let's not go there.
393
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,508
You must be Stacy.
394
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:45,212
Wow. I am so unbelievably
sorry about what happened...
395
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,479
Oh, please.
396
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,182
Let he who is without sin
cast the first stone.
397
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,619
Hello again.
398
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:55,188
Ira.
399
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,658
Nachlis.
400
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,060
Yes, you are.
401
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,529
I'm so sorry
to hear about you and Neil.
402
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:03,997
I thought he was a keeper.
403
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,332
Kippie.
404
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,234
Sorry, excuse me.
405
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,435
Bye.
406
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,437
Who's Neil?
407
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:13,240
My boyfriend. Ex, actually.
408
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:20,147
"Hi, Barbara. How's Neil?"
"You must be Stacy."
409
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,381
What's missing here?
410
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,782
Oh, me.
411
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,384
You're right.
412
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,786
I should get as many shows
on the air as possible.
413
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:27,987
Be seen.
414
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:30,523
Noticed by somebody. Anybody.
415
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,359
Okay, so what I'm about to do
416
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,494
should not be interpreted
as groveling,
417
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,129
hypocrisy or desperation.
418
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,165
It's merely a loss
of personal integrity.
419
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,667
Excuse me.
Larry, wait up.
420
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,001
Hmm.
He's funny.
421
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,070
Yeah.
422
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,304
Talented too.
423
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,473
Okay, I'll do the midgets.
424
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,874
Too bad he'll never
make it here.
425
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,142
Why not?
426
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,211
He cares too much
what everyone thinks.
427
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:52,545
Especially Kippie.
428
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,347
And that's bad because...?
429
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,183
Because they're shopping
for a newer model.
430
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,218
But she's the boss.
431
00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:00,887
It's been in the works
a long time.
432
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:03,256
Who do you think leaked
the pictures to the tabloids?
433
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,424
What?
434
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,792
Well, our ratings are down
435
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,427
and she's got five years left
on her contract.
436
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:08,861
You do the math.
437
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,063
So it is always like this?
438
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,464
I don't know.
439
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,899
I haven't been here
long enough to say.
440
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,468
Oh. No, I thought you were...
441
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,470
A lifer? Nah.
442
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,772
A year and a half ago
I was on Wall Street,
443
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,808
and before that I drove a bus.
444
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,010
It's all pretty much
the same, you know?
445
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,746
People will tell you who
they are if you just listen
446
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,481
You can figure them out.
447
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,150
Sometimes you can help.
448
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,486
Let's help Kippie.
449
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,854
I should warn you,
450
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,724
I'm uncomfortable
with touching and sentiment.
451
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,192
Sorry.
Thank you.
452
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:44,364
It's all about the bottom line
in every business.
453
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:45,598
Does she know?
454
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,634
She used to be prime-time
out of New York.
455
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,536
Now she's syndicated in Jersey.
456
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,803
It's one thing to start here,
457
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,972
but you don't climb your way
to Trenton.
458
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:55,508
Nothing we can do,
short of winning sweeps.
459
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,843
Well, then, let's win sweeps.
460
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,077
Oh, okay.
461
00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:00,012
We could try.
Win one for the Kipper?
462
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,080
Yeah.
No.
463
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,382
Please.
464
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,916
Okay, this is
too earnest for me.
465
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,051
I mean, you've been teetering
and now you just crossed over.
466
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,153
Don't you like her?
467
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:09,222
I do, actually. A lot.
468
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,524
But that's irrelevant.
469
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,727
That may be so,
470
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,929
but does it reveal
who your true friends are?
471
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,598
Are they keeping secrets?
472
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,534
Well, it's not a secret
anymore for someone.
473
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,003
And we'll tell you why
after these words.
474
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,606
Hey.
475
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,908
Man, you should've seen
what came out of this animal.
476
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,378
Oh, I miss all the good stuff.
477
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,012
You think you're pretty cute,
don't you?
478
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,481
Well, I'm no Bob.
479
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,383
Oh, you better apologize.
480
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,617
Uh-uh.
481
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,252
I think you just insulted Bob.
482
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:41,588
You insinuated ugliness.
483
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,089
I did not, I did not.
484
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,791
Apologize.
Okay, okay.
485
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:45,958
I'm sorry, Bob, I'm sorry.
486
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,026
All right.
487
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,127
Wait, where are you going?
488
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,429
I gotta finish packing.
Two minutes.
489
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,697
Okay.
490
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,465
Did I tell you about
Nieuwendyk's cousin?
491
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,033
MVP out of Detroit?
492
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,636
Guess who he's seeing
Friday morning? His request.
493
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,938
Yeah, you told me.
It's amazing.
494
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:01,140
Honey, this fast-forward thing
isn't working.
495
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,109
Oh, my God!
496
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,178
What?
Oh, he has gas.
497
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,579
Oh, God.
498
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,847
Bob, get down.
Can we open a window,
499
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,417
Come here, boy.
honey, or just...
500
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,852
Yeah, plus Robbie Moore
out of Buffalo?
501
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,120
These guys are, like,
502
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,323
the top two recruits
in the entire country.
503
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,491
If I can nail them both...
504
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:22,229
No ifs.
You will. I know it.
505
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,731
Oh, what is the matter
with that Bob?
506
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,533
Burrito.
Want me to take him out again?
507
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,034
Later.
I can do it right now.
508
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,302
No, later.
Positive?
509
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,403
Uh-huh.
510
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,071
Mmm! Jesus wept.
511
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:35,508
Bob, no more hot sauce,
all right?
512
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,177
Why are you feeding him hot sauce?
513
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,579
I don't know.
514
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,582
What are you watching?
515
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,252
Oh, Kippie.
I'm studying the format.
516
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,019
- Huh.
- Tell us how bulimia
517
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,555
affected your relationships,
Lulu.
518
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,956
I lost them all.
519
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,058
My agent, my friends,
my boyfriends.
520
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,193
Lulu?
Fritz.
521
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,428
The supermodel.
522
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,863
I was so ashamed.
523
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,265
I knew it.
524
00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,499
Hmm?
525
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,000
I knew she barfed.
526
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:04,070
Oh. That documentary.
527
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,905
No, I mean I heard her.
528
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:11,244
You heard Lulu Fritz barfing?
529
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,446
Yeah, a couple times.
Nasty.
530
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:16,182
You think I'm gonna need
a sweater in Detroit? In May?
531
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:19,852
What?
532
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,757
You don't feel compelled
to explain further?
533
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,093
We dated... a little.
I told you that, didn't I?
534
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:29,496
Let me think. Mmm, no.
535
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,663
Ahh, thought I did.
536
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,665
Are you gonna be cool
staying here by yourself?
537
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,267
Yeah.
Walk Bob when you come home?
538
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,436
Sure.
Don't let him walk you.
539
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:37,804
All right? Who's the boss?
Me.
540
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,372
Tell him that.
541
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,708
I'm the boss, Bob.
Hear that, Bob?
542
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:44,844
You never mentioned her.
543
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,178
Who?
544
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,480
Lulu.
545
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,049
That's probably because
546
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,718
we don't sit around talking
about past relationships.
547
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,720
She was a relationship.
548
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,254
Oh, come on, Stace.
549
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,489
Yeah, we do.
550
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:57,957
You told me
about that med student
551
00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,459
you dated right before me.
552
00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:02,128
And then the girl before that.
Uh, what's her name?
553
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,463
Joyce.
554
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,465
I guess you just
forgot to mention...
555
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:07,900
Stace, come on. This is why
I hate talking
556
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:11,471
about this stuff It's just..
you end up fighting
557
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:14,040
over old ghosts. It's history.
It's over. The past is past.
558
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,241
That's before the past
559
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,310
was a supermodel
that barfed quietly.
560
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,779
All right, you know, I don't
pry into your old boyfriends.
561
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:22,749
I never dated Brad Pitt.
562
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,384
All right, shut it off, okay?
563
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,322
Look.
564
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,223
I've had really bad experiences
565
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,659
talking about
past relationships,
566
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,994
no matter how casual.
567
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:38,798
If you have to know, uh,
we had problems... in bed.
568
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:41,300
Hallelujah
569
00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:42,569
Okay?
570
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:43,936
Okay.
571
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,872
You know, Bob hates it
when we fight.
572
00:21:45,938 --> 00:21:47,607
We're not fighting.
Tell him.
573
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:49,676
We are not fighting, Bob.
574
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,244
So no more Lulu Fritz?
575
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,382
I will never mention
the name Lulu Fritz again.
576
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,485
All right.
Mm.
577
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,753
Lulu Fritz.
No!
578
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,188
And he never told you?
579
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,090
The past is past.
580
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,125
"Unnatural Animal Love" in five.
581
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:07,394
Tell me you're not quoting him.
582
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,795
We sort of made an agreement
583
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:10,296
not to discuss
old relationships.
584
00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:11,431
Renegotiate.
585
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,532
No!
586
00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:13,600
Those who do not learn
587
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:14,667
from his history
588
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:15,935
are condemned to repeat it.
589
00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:17,370
It doesn't even matter
who he dated.
590
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:19,205
What matters is why he stopped.
591
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:20,940
What's he do for a living?
He works for the Devils.
592
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,009
Who doesn't?
Ha! Kidding.
593
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:24,377
Think about it hypothetically.
594
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:25,945
Say Derek's like Neil.
595
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,480
Hypothetically.
596
00:22:27,547 --> 00:22:29,281
How do you find out
before you're too far gone?
597
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,250
He's not gonna say, "We broke up
598
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,252
because I was screwing my way
through the phone book."
599
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:34,887
"And I only got to K."
Thank you.
600
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:36,288
He'll say...
"The past is past."
601
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,457
Right.
602
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:38,558
The man is hiding something.
603
00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:39,626
What about his family?
604
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:40,727
Excellent point.
605
00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:41,828
They'll always give dirt.
606
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:43,229
No, no, no.
That's not what I mean.
607
00:22:43,295 --> 00:22:45,097
What are they like?
What's the dynamic?
608
00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:47,299
You can tell a lot by
studying where he came from.
609
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,635
It's just a rehearsal.
610
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:49,969
I haven't met them.
611
00:22:51,438 --> 00:22:53,039
He doesn't bring girls home.
612
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,574
He just doesn't.
613
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,244
Can I ask, did you ever think
of appealing this decision,
614
00:22:58,310 --> 00:22:59,378
meeting the folks?
615
00:22:59,446 --> 00:23:01,881
I don't want to make him
feel uncomfortable.
616
00:23:01,948 --> 00:23:03,983
Oh, yeah, let's not do that.
That'd be bad.
617
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:05,485
Stop it!
618
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:06,819
What century are you in?
619
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,054
You have a right...
Nay, an obligation
620
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,456
to find out more.
621
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:11,357
Now, he's away
for, what, two weeks?
622
00:23:11,424 --> 00:23:12,692
Take that time, I beg you.
623
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:13,993
Learn a few things.
Anything.
624
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,695
Information's power.
625
00:23:15,762 --> 00:23:17,296
All livestock stage left.
626
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:18,531
It feels dishonest.
627
00:23:18,598 --> 00:23:19,632
Yeah, that's because it is.
628
00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:20,733
You want to keep your man,
629
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,535
you find out why they didn't.
630
00:23:22,602 --> 00:23:23,603
I thought you stopped.
631
00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:24,771
I have.
632
00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:26,005
Look, I agree.
633
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:27,273
There's better ways to do it.
634
00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:29,208
I mean, it'd be great
if you could ask him...
635
00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:30,443
Or the folks.
636
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:32,445
But since no one argues
with the lord and master,
637
00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:34,213
you gotta get creative.
Personally, I think
638
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,348
all men should come
with letters of recommendation
639
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,416
or warning labels.
640
00:23:37,484 --> 00:23:38,518
Or little black books.
641
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:40,653
Does he have one?
A Palm. Why?
642
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:41,788
She may be hopeless.
643
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:42,855
She's not hopeless.
644
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:43,990
I'm not hopeless.
645
00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:45,458
Okay, then open it up, explore.
646
00:23:45,525 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaking of which,
what was Lulu's last name?
647
00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:48,995
Fritz. Why?
648
00:23:49,061 --> 00:23:50,963
What's that?
649
00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:53,065
Vintage. Working Girl.
650
00:23:53,132 --> 00:23:54,934
1988.
651
00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:56,068
Good movie?
652
00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:57,537
It's a great movie!
653
00:23:57,604 --> 00:23:59,071
You've never seen it?
654
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,141
Staten Island girl.
655
00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:05,277
Trying to make her way in
the big city on her own terms.
656
00:24:05,344 --> 00:24:06,378
Melanie Griffith, huh?
657
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:07,714
Yeah.
658
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,649
Has she never heard
of call waiting?
659
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:13,219
And Mike Nichols.
660
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:14,353
He's famous.
661
00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:15,688
Oh, he's a genius.
662
00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:18,658
Plus he's married
to Diane Sawyer.
663
00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:20,527
Ah!
Who you want to be.
664
00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:21,861
Ringing.
665
00:24:21,928 --> 00:24:23,663
Ladies.
666
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:28,768
I don't want to be her, Barb.
I want to work with her.
667
00:24:28,835 --> 00:24:31,003
I will work with her.
I believe I will.
668
00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:32,872
I believe you will too.
669
00:24:32,939 --> 00:24:34,173
Hello, Lulu Fritz?
670
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,508
Ira Nachlis,
671
00:24:35,575 --> 00:24:36,709
senior associate
producer/producer
672
00:24:36,776 --> 00:24:37,944
for Kippie Kann Do.
673
00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,211
Listen, uh...
674
00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:40,613
"I Model, Then I Barf Quietly"
675
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,381
is one of our highest-rated
shows ever.
676
00:24:42,448 --> 00:24:43,683
What are you doing?!
677
00:24:43,750 --> 00:24:45,585
Excuse... Okay, look.
678
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:46,953
I am trying to give
a young innocent
679
00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:48,855
her 15 minutes of fame.
Now shhh!
680
00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:51,858
I'm sorry.
681
00:24:51,924 --> 00:24:55,294
Lulu, we're thinking
of having a special next month
682
00:24:55,361 --> 00:24:57,496
We'd like you to come in
tomorrow for an interview.
683
00:24:57,564 --> 00:24:58,831
Mm-hm.
684
00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:01,634
Excellent. We'll do lunch
and throw up.
685
00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:02,869
Catch up.
686
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:04,236
Mm-hm.
687
00:25:04,303 --> 00:25:07,173
I would love to expose myself
to your viewers.
688
00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,275
Okay.
Not going there.
689
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:12,945
Uh, so how did the documentary
affect your personal life, Lulu
690
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:17,917
Well, it forced Stephen,
my ex, to face his truth.
691
00:25:18,484 --> 00:25:20,452
He barfed too.
692
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:23,723
Fascinating.
And before Stephen?
693
00:25:23,790 --> 00:25:25,424
I didn't date much.
694
00:25:25,491 --> 00:25:27,226
I was shy.
695
00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:28,828
And ugly.
696
00:25:28,895 --> 00:25:30,897
Why is it that every supermodel
697
00:25:30,963 --> 00:25:32,799
says how ugly they were
when they were young?
698
00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:34,934
Is it because they want us
to know they suffered?
699
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:38,337
Do they think that it
makes them more deserving,
700
00:25:38,404 --> 00:25:39,839
that we'll forgive them
their bounty?
701
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:42,775
None of us believe you.
702
00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:45,044
No one invited me to the prom.
703
00:25:45,111 --> 00:25:46,412
Makes you stronger.
704
00:25:46,478 --> 00:25:49,749
So the only relationship
you ever had ever was Stephen?
705
00:25:49,816 --> 00:25:51,984
No. I mean,
I dated a few people.
706
00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:53,219
Names, please?
707
00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:55,321
Fabrizio. Renato.
708
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:56,823
Carmine. Jahni.
709
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:57,957
Derek.
710
00:25:58,024 --> 00:26:00,793
She said his name.
711
00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:03,129
Der... eek.
712
00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:05,431
His name... came out of... that mouth.
713
00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:07,767
Der... eek.
714
00:26:07,834 --> 00:26:09,568
Der... eek.
715
00:26:09,636 --> 00:26:12,972
Her "Dereek" was my Derek.
716
00:26:13,039 --> 00:26:14,240
But mostly I was lonely.
717
00:26:14,306 --> 00:26:15,307
How sad.
718
00:26:15,374 --> 00:26:16,943
Tell me about
one of the early guys.
719
00:26:17,009 --> 00:26:18,544
Oh, say... Derek.
720
00:26:18,611 --> 00:26:19,812
Derek?
721
00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:21,413
It was just
a casual kind of thing.
722
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,050
Stacy, let her tell the story.
I am. She is.
723
00:26:24,116 --> 00:26:25,451
Go ahead.
I was so young.
724
00:26:25,517 --> 00:26:27,820
She was so young.
I can hardly remember.
725
00:26:27,887 --> 00:26:29,656
Happens to all of us.
It was all superficial.
726
00:26:29,722 --> 00:26:32,524
What isn't these days?
Completely about sex.
727
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,026
Completely about...
728
00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,361
What?
Sex.
729
00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:36,896
Sex.
Sex.
730
00:26:36,963 --> 00:26:38,597
But you had problems in bed.
731
00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:40,299
Ira! You don't know that, Ira.
Guessing!
732
00:26:40,366 --> 00:26:41,768
Someone needs to chill.
733
00:26:41,834 --> 00:26:45,071
Actually, the bedroom
was the only place
734
00:26:45,137 --> 00:26:47,774
we really... connected.
735
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,810
Two, sometimes
three times a day.
736
00:26:50,877 --> 00:26:53,980
Funny how your memory
just snapped back like that.
737
00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:56,883
Anyways, Derek and I
didn't talk much.
738
00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:58,017
I just used him for...
739
00:26:58,084 --> 00:26:59,185
We know. We know.
We know.
740
00:26:59,251 --> 00:27:01,020
Pretty amazing.
741
00:27:01,087 --> 00:27:02,221
Experimental.
742
00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:03,956
Wild.
743
00:27:04,023 --> 00:27:05,357
Sounds great.
Why did you split?
744
00:27:05,424 --> 00:27:06,926
Oh, same old, same old.
745
00:27:06,993 --> 00:27:09,628
Schedules, travel, temptation.
746
00:27:09,696 --> 00:27:11,964
Uh-huh.
He cheated?
747
00:27:12,031 --> 00:27:13,866
No, I did! All the time.
748
00:27:13,933 --> 00:27:17,737
But he stuck around
like a lovesick puppy.
749
00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:20,239
Finally, I asked him to
go back to his old girlfriend.
750
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:24,043
She called all the time,
begging him, pleading.
751
00:27:24,110 --> 00:27:28,580
She was desperate.
Joyce?
752
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:29,982
How did you know her name?
You mentioned it.
753
00:27:30,049 --> 00:27:31,117
She mentioned it!
You did.
754
00:27:31,183 --> 00:27:32,218
She did.
You did.
755
00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:34,220
I did?
Yeah.
756
00:27:34,286 --> 00:27:35,855
Hmm.
Mm-hm.
757
00:27:35,922 --> 00:27:41,227
Well, Joyce. He only went
back to her out of pity.
758
00:27:41,293 --> 00:27:43,662
I wonder what he's doing now.
759
00:27:45,798 --> 00:27:48,100
Hey, Derek, this is Lulu.
760
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,702
Just thought I'd give you a call
761
00:27:49,769 --> 00:27:51,971
and let you know I was in town...
762
00:27:52,038 --> 00:27:53,105
Cow!
763
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:56,575
Quietly barfing cow.
764
00:27:56,642 --> 00:27:59,611
And, suddenly, my certain world
765
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,613
didn't seem so certain
after all.
766
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,015
Hi, Bob.
767
00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:05,785
Are you hungry?
I'm not hungry.
768
00:28:05,852 --> 00:28:09,621
Lulu dangled before me
like bait on a wire.
769
00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:13,325
I swallowed it whole.
770
00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:15,527
And then wanted more.
771
00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:21,333
It was time for the past
772
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,735
to meet the present.
773
00:28:22,802 --> 00:28:26,238
Bob, look, a box!
774
00:28:28,574 --> 00:28:31,310
I just need to clean up
some stuff.
775
00:28:31,377 --> 00:28:33,045
He told me to.
776
00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:34,113
You know.
777
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,155
I'm just checking things out,
you know?
778
00:28:44,590 --> 00:28:46,492
Oh, look, pictures.
779
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,098
So this is hysterical Joyce.
780
00:28:52,164 --> 00:28:54,533
You don't look so desperate.
781
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,804
You look... athletic.
782
00:28:57,870 --> 00:29:00,506
And pretty.
783
00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:02,975
Where was this taken?
784
00:29:03,042 --> 00:29:05,244
New York City Marathon. Okay!
785
00:29:05,311 --> 00:29:08,480
Where you crossed
the finish line.
786
00:29:10,116 --> 00:29:12,618
And you were crying.
787
00:29:12,684 --> 00:29:14,787
And so was Derek
while he hugs you.
788
00:29:14,854 --> 00:29:19,225
There's so many
neat pictures, Bob.
789
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,328
Rachel Keyes.
790
00:29:22,394 --> 00:29:26,132
You are a... podiatrist,
I think.
791
00:29:26,198 --> 00:29:29,335
What's with that
little minx-like smile?
792
00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:31,303
What?
793
00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:35,341
Can you just not look at me
like that, please?
794
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:38,210
It's making me
very uncomfortable.
795
00:29:38,277 --> 00:29:40,112
I'm... There. See?
796
00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:41,848
I'm done. Okay?
797
00:29:41,914 --> 00:29:44,450
And don't judge me!
Okay, Bob?
798
00:29:46,085 --> 00:29:47,486
Oh!
799
00:29:47,553 --> 00:29:49,388
Hey, Stacy, it's me. Are you there?
800
00:29:49,455 --> 00:29:50,789
Oh!
801
00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:52,124
Honey...
I guess you're out with Bob.
802
00:29:52,191 --> 00:29:53,725
Listen, I left my Palm at home.
803
00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:56,195
I need you to go through it
and get me some numbers.
804
00:29:56,262 --> 00:29:57,763
All right, take care.
805
00:29:57,830 --> 00:29:59,231
Palm?
806
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,568
Did you hear that, Bob?
807
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:05,171
Derek left his Palm at home.
808
00:30:06,572 --> 00:30:07,907
Guess we'll have to look for it.
809
00:30:10,109 --> 00:30:13,779
Oh, if I were a Palm,
where would I be?
810
00:30:13,846 --> 00:30:15,314
If we were Palms,
811
00:30:15,381 --> 00:30:17,149
where would we be, Bob?
812
00:30:17,216 --> 00:30:19,551
Where is it?
813
00:30:20,686 --> 00:30:22,454
Where could it be right now?
814
00:30:22,521 --> 00:30:24,756
He asked for it.
815
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:27,493
Where could it be?
Hmm?
816
00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:37,436
Luck is when preparation
meets opportunity.
817
00:30:37,503 --> 00:30:39,038
Okay, Bob?
818
00:30:41,207 --> 00:30:43,242
Life's about certainty.
819
00:30:43,309 --> 00:30:45,277
It's about being in control.
820
00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:50,349
Password, password, password.
What would his password be?
821
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:53,119
Thank you.
822
00:30:55,554 --> 00:30:56,956
What?
823
00:30:58,357 --> 00:31:00,960
Go to your bed.
824
00:31:02,494 --> 00:31:05,764
Go to your bed, Bob!
825
00:31:10,436 --> 00:31:12,771
Seconds before opening the metallic case,
826
00:31:12,838 --> 00:31:14,907
I envisioned all the evil
flowing into the world.
827
00:31:14,974 --> 00:31:17,476
I was Pandora.
828
00:31:18,644 --> 00:31:20,679
And then I got over it.
829
00:31:27,419 --> 00:31:30,789
Look at that. Joyce works
with Kaleidoscope Kitchen.
830
00:31:30,856 --> 00:31:33,459
So?
Brand-new place.
831
00:31:33,525 --> 00:31:35,894
You know what that means?
It's a new entry in this thing
832
00:31:35,962 --> 00:31:38,130
That place has only been
open two, three months.
833
00:31:38,197 --> 00:31:40,566
How would he know that
unless they still talk?
834
00:31:40,632 --> 00:31:42,668
That's ridiculous!
Ladies.
835
00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:44,703
Hey!
836
00:31:44,770 --> 00:31:46,272
We could give her
a little jingle.
837
00:31:46,338 --> 00:31:48,374
"Hello, Joyce...
838
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,309
Moore.
839
00:31:50,376 --> 00:31:53,445
"We're doing research
on an upcoming episode,
840
00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:55,447
"'Best Chefs
in the Tri-state Area.'
841
00:31:55,514 --> 00:31:58,150
No guarantees, of course, but
I was wondering if we could..."
842
00:31:58,217 --> 00:31:59,451
No.
843
00:31:59,518 --> 00:32:01,053
"Spend a little time
getting to know you."
844
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:02,921
Not doing it.
845
00:32:02,989 --> 00:32:06,492
Uh, uh, uh.
846
00:32:06,558 --> 00:32:09,628
Now, how about that doctor
he dated? What was her name?
847
00:32:09,695 --> 00:32:11,397
Barb!
848
00:32:11,463 --> 00:32:12,798
You have to admit
it's educational.
849
00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:14,166
Look what you learned with Lulu.
850
00:32:14,233 --> 00:32:15,834
What?
He didn't cheat.
851
00:32:15,901 --> 00:32:17,069
I never thought he did.
852
00:32:17,136 --> 00:32:18,870
But he told you
they had problems in bed.
853
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:21,473
It turns out the only problems
they had in bed
854
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:23,976
was getting out. Little lie.
Harmless.
855
00:32:24,043 --> 00:32:25,577
Unless it's a pattern.
856
00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:27,413
It's not a pattern.
How do you know?
857
00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:32,918
Say, hypothetically,
you get a dog.
858
00:32:32,985 --> 00:32:34,053
A what?
A dog.
859
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,521
Hypothetically.
860
00:32:35,587 --> 00:32:37,823
And you find out
his grandfather chased cars.
861
00:32:37,889 --> 00:32:39,391
His father chased cars.
Whose father?
862
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:40,826
The dog's.
863
00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:42,928
In fact, all the males
in his line are car-chasers.
864
00:32:42,995 --> 00:32:44,896
Chances are he'll chase cars.
865
00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,799
Helpful information you can
only get by doing research.
866
00:32:47,866 --> 00:32:48,900
Come on, Leo.
867
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:50,102
You need to find out.
868
00:32:50,169 --> 00:32:52,571
Is your man a car-chaser?
No!
869
00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:54,240
Are you sure?
870
00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:56,342
People are creatures of habit.
871
00:32:56,408 --> 00:32:58,844
Last one. Their behavior
is patterned.
872
00:32:58,910 --> 00:33:01,213
After Neil slept
with half of Newark,
873
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,614
I found out what
everybody else knew:
874
00:33:02,681 --> 00:33:04,083
He'd been doing it for years.
875
00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:06,452
So keep yourself dumb
and believe what he tells you
876
00:33:06,518 --> 00:33:07,953
or... Up to you.
877
00:33:08,020 --> 00:33:10,756
God, I hate this.
I know.
878
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:12,791
I hate doubt.
879
00:33:12,858 --> 00:33:15,127
You'll get over it. Now, what'
the name of that chiropractor?
880
00:33:15,194 --> 00:33:17,296
Podiatrist.
Mmm.
881
00:33:17,363 --> 00:33:18,630
Dr. Rachel Keyes.
882
00:33:18,697 --> 00:33:21,200
Barb?
Yeah.
883
00:33:21,267 --> 00:33:22,568
I...
884
00:33:22,634 --> 00:33:24,036
Look, make an appointment,
that's all.
885
00:33:24,103 --> 00:33:26,004
See how you feel
once you meet her.
886
00:33:26,072 --> 00:33:28,207
If you decide not to do
that whole Kippie spiel,
887
00:33:28,274 --> 00:33:30,176
then at least
your feet will be happy.
888
00:33:30,242 --> 00:33:31,577
You wanna work
with Diane Sawyer?
889
00:33:31,643 --> 00:33:32,811
Mm-hm.
890
00:33:32,878 --> 00:33:35,281
You gotta learn
how to do research...
891
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,049
in the field.
892
00:33:37,116 --> 00:33:38,684
Health and Wellness Women's Clinic.
893
00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:40,086
Hold, please.
894
00:33:40,152 --> 00:33:42,954
Look under the hood
before you purchase the car.
895
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:45,724
Thank you for holding. Health
and Wellness Women's Clinic.
896
00:33:45,791 --> 00:33:48,094
Ah, yes, I'd like
to make an appointment
897
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:49,495
with Dr. Keyes,
please.
898
00:33:49,561 --> 00:33:50,929
She's booked through the month.
899
00:33:50,996 --> 00:33:52,498
Okay, thanks anyway.
No cancellations?
900
00:33:52,564 --> 00:33:55,534
Oh, wait, we have one
for Thursday morning, 8:45.
901
00:33:55,601 --> 00:33:57,736
I'll take it.
Name?
902
00:33:57,803 --> 00:34:00,106
Barb Campbell-hyphen-Dunn.
903
00:34:00,172 --> 00:34:02,641
And what is this
regarding, please?
904
00:34:02,708 --> 00:34:04,143
Warts. Plantar warts.
905
00:34:04,210 --> 00:34:05,944
Hurt like hell.
906
00:34:06,011 --> 00:34:07,346
See you Thursday.
907
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:12,651
Hey, don't let the chickens out!
908
00:34:12,718 --> 00:34:14,720
I was strangely calm
909
00:34:14,786 --> 00:34:17,489
as I waited to meet the woman
Derek dated before me.
910
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:21,193
So calm, in fact,
I never questioned the gown
911
00:34:21,260 --> 00:34:24,263
or the need for easy access.
912
00:34:24,330 --> 00:34:25,464
So when was your last period?
913
00:34:25,531 --> 00:34:27,065
My what?
914
00:34:27,133 --> 00:34:29,735
Your menses.
I don't understand.
915
00:34:31,770 --> 00:34:34,540
Okay, each month, you might
notice a change in your body.
916
00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,542
I understand what you mean.
917
00:34:36,608 --> 00:34:38,677
I just don't know why
you'd want to know that.
918
00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:40,112
- Barbara Campbell?
- Hyphen-Dunn.
919
00:34:40,179 --> 00:34:41,713
Yes.
I'm Dr. Keyes.
920
00:34:41,780 --> 00:34:43,749
Hi.
Hi.
921
00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:47,586
So, what brings you
in here today?
922
00:34:47,653 --> 00:34:49,020
Warts.
Warts.
923
00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:51,290
Really painful.
924
00:34:51,357 --> 00:34:52,424
All the time?
925
00:34:52,491 --> 00:34:54,493
Well, mostly when
you step on them.
926
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,495
Heels, you know, ouch.
927
00:34:56,562 --> 00:34:59,665
I have a bit of a shoe fetish.
928
00:34:59,731 --> 00:35:02,234
Stilettos. I'm trying to stay
away from them. It's my bad.
929
00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:05,171
Well, uh, maybe you
can be more specific
930
00:35:05,237 --> 00:35:06,572
as to where the warts are.
931
00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:08,140
You wanna use this mirror?
932
00:35:08,207 --> 00:35:10,776
No, that's not necessary.
I'm very flexible.
933
00:35:10,842 --> 00:35:12,778
They're sort of...
934
00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:14,413
deep down.
935
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,315
Just look way deep down inside.
936
00:35:16,382 --> 00:35:19,551
You can't really see them
unless you look inside.
937
00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,353
Well, maybe not that way.
938
00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:23,088
Why don't you
just relax, Barbara?
939
00:35:23,155 --> 00:35:24,390
Okay.
940
00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,225
That's a good girl.
There you go.
941
00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:29,094
We're just gonna put your feet
in these stirrups.
942
00:35:32,097 --> 00:35:33,131
Stirrups?
943
00:35:37,669 --> 00:35:39,070
A gynecologist?
944
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,639
Not a podiatrist?
945
00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:42,774
Ten-to-1
those aren't for the opera.
946
00:35:42,841 --> 00:35:44,576
And we'll have
a little look-see.
947
00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:45,977
Look-see? Where?
948
00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:49,415
Oh... Oops!
949
00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:51,149
Someone left their panties on.
950
00:35:51,217 --> 00:35:52,651
Oops.
951
00:35:52,718 --> 00:35:54,786
Just, uh...
There you go.
952
00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:56,355
Good girl.
953
00:36:00,058 --> 00:36:01,860
Good!
954
00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:05,063
Comfy?
955
00:36:05,130 --> 00:36:06,598
Well, let's see.
956
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,200
I'm spread-eagle
in front of my boyfriend's ex
957
00:36:08,267 --> 00:36:09,768
who's about to go searching
for warts.
958
00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:11,903
Super. Thanks.
959
00:36:11,970 --> 00:36:13,972
Barbara, you know
what they say, right?
960
00:36:14,039 --> 00:36:16,275
You can never be
too rich, too thin
961
00:36:16,342 --> 00:36:17,676
or too far down on the table,
962
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:19,411
so let's scoot ya!
There we go.
963
00:36:19,478 --> 00:36:21,713
Perfect!
964
00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:23,915
I'm going to insert
the speculum now.
965
00:36:23,982 --> 00:36:27,353
Oh, good. Narration.
966
00:36:27,419 --> 00:36:29,688
You may feel a bit of pressure.
967
00:36:29,755 --> 00:36:31,590
Ow!
968
00:36:31,657 --> 00:36:36,862
Whoa, would you take a look at
that cervix, Nurse Kisilevsky?
969
00:36:36,928 --> 00:36:38,964
Hmm, textbook.
970
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,866
I'm not the first person
who's told you that.
971
00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:42,601
Can't hear it enough.
972
00:36:42,668 --> 00:36:46,171
- It was all too horrible.
- I had to avert my eyes.
973
00:36:46,238 --> 00:36:48,974
Which made me focus on
a sight more horrific.
974
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,443
Midst what seemed like
an unusual amount
975
00:36:51,510 --> 00:36:53,044
of Dr. Keyes' beauty shots
976
00:36:53,111 --> 00:36:55,747
stood a picture
that jumped out... big.
977
00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:58,384
Dr. Rachel Keyes and Bob?!
978
00:36:58,450 --> 00:36:59,718
Stinky Bob!
979
00:36:59,785 --> 00:37:01,287
Why would she have
a picture with him
980
00:37:01,353 --> 00:37:02,954
unless he was hers?
Worse, theirs?
981
00:37:03,021 --> 00:37:06,292
I needed
to take control... fast!
982
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:07,759
Dr. Keyes?
983
00:37:07,826 --> 00:37:09,227
I work with
the Kippie Kann show.
984
00:37:09,295 --> 00:37:15,000
You would never be interested
being on television,
985
00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:17,002
- would you?
- Call me Rachel. I started the vitamin company
986
00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:18,404
about a year and a half ago.
987
00:37:18,470 --> 00:37:20,672
It's just taken off.
Oh?
988
00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:22,508
And look.
Your picture's on it.
989
00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:24,443
I fought them on that.
990
00:37:24,510 --> 00:37:25,944
Sure you did.
991
00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:27,346
So tell me, Rachel,
992
00:37:27,413 --> 00:37:29,615
what did you have
to sacrifice to get here?
993
00:37:29,681 --> 00:37:32,584
Relationships?
Family? Pets?
994
00:37:32,651 --> 00:37:35,887
I never wanted to settle
in order to settle down.
995
00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:37,423
You know what I'm talking about.
996
00:37:37,489 --> 00:37:38,890
Oh, yeah.
Back to pets.
997
00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:41,960
I noticed a picture of a dog
in the examination room.
998
00:37:42,027 --> 00:37:43,762
So... happy-looking.
999
00:37:43,829 --> 00:37:45,864
Bob.
1000
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:47,733
He's my ex's dog,
but I raised him.
1001
00:37:47,799 --> 00:37:49,768
He was such a cuddler.
1002
00:37:49,835 --> 00:37:51,337
Your ex?
The dog.
1003
00:37:51,403 --> 00:37:53,905
I could've lobbied
to keep him when we split.
1004
00:37:53,972 --> 00:37:56,742
But med school by day,
the book by night...
1005
00:37:56,808 --> 00:37:58,276
You wrote a book?
1006
00:37:58,344 --> 00:37:59,978
Here we go.
Second printing.
1007
00:38:00,045 --> 00:38:01,547
Oh.
Take one.
1008
00:38:01,613 --> 00:38:03,148
I'll just bill you for it.
1009
00:38:03,214 --> 00:38:05,116
It's a play on words.
1010
00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:06,652
Keyes to Your Vagina.
1011
00:38:06,718 --> 00:38:07,986
Clever.
1012
00:38:08,053 --> 00:38:11,022
Oh, and there's
that picture again.
1013
00:38:11,089 --> 00:38:13,158
So anyways...
Bob, is it?
1014
00:38:13,224 --> 00:38:15,761
Yeah, he's with Derek, my ex.
1015
00:38:15,827 --> 00:38:17,663
But I have visitation rights.
1016
00:38:17,729 --> 00:38:19,731
Oh, really?
1017
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:21,132
Sure, the photograph
in the exam room
1018
00:38:21,199 --> 00:38:23,502
was taken a few weeks ago
at a picnic we had.
1019
00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:26,071
A picnic? A few weeks ago?
1020
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:29,341
He went on a picnic with
this self-obsessed prodigy?
1021
00:38:29,408 --> 00:38:30,942
My head was spinning.
1022
00:38:31,009 --> 00:38:33,579
Anyway, Barb, good news.
Your warts have cleared up.
1023
00:38:35,213 --> 00:38:36,815
That's good to know.
1024
00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:42,621
Welcome back to "Grandma's
a Hooker, So Handle It."
1025
00:38:42,688 --> 00:38:44,656
Tell me, Grandma,
as a working girl...
1026
00:38:44,723 --> 00:38:46,558
- Stand by, mystery guest.
- Standing by.
1027
00:38:46,625 --> 00:38:49,194
I pull down
about five grand a weekend.
1028
00:38:50,962 --> 00:38:52,398
Ten if I bring a friend!
1029
00:38:52,464 --> 00:38:54,533
What do you say, Kippie?
1030
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,135
Wha...? Me?
1031
00:38:57,202 --> 00:38:59,137
Talent is in place
and ready to go.
1032
00:38:59,204 --> 00:39:00,572
Hey.
1033
00:39:00,639 --> 00:39:02,441
How'd it go?
1034
00:39:02,508 --> 00:39:04,209
I went to third base
with his ex.
1035
00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:07,078
What?
But my warts have cleared up.
1036
00:39:07,145 --> 00:39:09,515
She was a gynecologist!
1037
00:39:09,581 --> 00:39:11,049
Gyne... Oh!
1038
00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:12,951
Mommy, no!
1039
00:39:13,018 --> 00:39:14,753
Oh, shut up.
1040
00:39:14,820 --> 00:39:16,354
Ira, can you...?
1041
00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:20,926
A gynecologist.
Yikes.
1042
00:39:20,992 --> 00:39:22,327
Oh, no, "yikes"
does not even begin
1043
00:39:22,394 --> 00:39:24,029
to describe what
I experienced today.
1044
00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:25,196
Don't screw up.
1045
00:39:25,263 --> 00:39:26,998
Turkey sausage.
Turkey sausage.
1046
00:39:27,065 --> 00:39:28,400
But the small one.
1047
00:39:28,467 --> 00:39:29,801
She's an absolute
freak of nature.
1048
00:39:29,868 --> 00:39:31,903
She's gotta be,
like, what, 26, 27?
1049
00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:35,206
She's publishing books,
she's practicing medicine.
1050
00:39:35,273 --> 00:39:36,608
Oh, and did I mention
1051
00:39:36,675 --> 00:39:38,610
there's, like, a zillion
pictures of her in her office?
1052
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:40,412
Just her? Alone?
Uh, yeah.
1053
00:39:40,479 --> 00:39:42,213
Oh, and let's not forget
the little vitamin company
1054
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:43,849
that's just taken off!
1055
00:39:43,915 --> 00:39:45,250
Look at the positive side.
1056
00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:46,518
Which is?
1057
00:39:46,585 --> 00:39:48,454
He's attracted to
extraordinary women.
1058
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,656
Beautiful, talented.
1059
00:39:50,722 --> 00:39:52,290
Which is why he's with you now.
1060
00:39:52,357 --> 00:39:56,462
The only salient information
need to know is, did he cheat?
1061
00:39:56,528 --> 00:39:59,197
What? No.
1062
00:39:59,264 --> 00:40:00,899
She was more in love
with herself.
1063
00:40:00,966 --> 00:40:02,300
This is good news.
1064
00:40:02,367 --> 00:40:04,069
Yeah.
1065
00:40:04,135 --> 00:40:06,337
Yeah.
1066
00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:09,875
It's just that
he saw her a few weeks ago.
1067
00:40:09,941 --> 00:40:12,177
They picnicked,
which is totally fine.
1068
00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:16,648
He's completely free
to picnic with whomever.
1069
00:40:16,715 --> 00:40:18,416
But why wouldn't he mention it?
1070
00:40:18,484 --> 00:40:20,452
Maybe...
1071
00:40:21,453 --> 00:40:23,855
He forgot?
Maybe.
1072
00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:25,457
Yeah. Okay.
1073
00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:27,659
Who put those damn K's
all over the cue cards?
1074
00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:30,896
Bob, slow down.
You're rocking the Palm.
1075
00:40:32,698 --> 00:40:35,400
You are so busted.
What?
1076
00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:37,002
You're out with
another guy, aren't you?
1077
00:40:37,068 --> 00:40:39,571
Two foot six,
loves the lips, farts a lot.
1078
00:40:39,638 --> 00:40:40,839
You giving him a nice walk?
1079
00:40:40,906 --> 00:40:42,741
Oh, well, actually,
1080
00:40:42,808 --> 00:40:44,409
he's giving me one.
1081
00:40:44,476 --> 00:40:45,844
Oh, honey,
don't let him do that.
1082
00:40:45,911 --> 00:40:47,345
Oh, of course not. No.
1083
00:40:47,412 --> 00:40:48,413
Oh!
1084
00:40:49,848 --> 00:40:51,382
Feel like we haven't spoken
all week.
1085
00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:53,418
I feel like we haven't spoken ever.
1086
00:40:53,485 --> 00:40:55,887
Bob, slow down!
1087
00:40:55,954 --> 00:40:57,556
Been kind of busy here,
you know?
1088
00:40:57,623 --> 00:41:00,992
Bob, Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob!
1089
00:41:02,293 --> 00:41:04,963
We don't live here, Bob!
1090
00:41:05,030 --> 00:41:06,331
Come on! No!
1091
00:41:07,799 --> 00:41:10,401
"Keyes"?
1092
00:41:11,870 --> 00:41:13,238
Keyes?!
1093
00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:16,608
As in "Keyes to
Your Vagina," Bob?!
1094
00:41:16,675 --> 00:41:18,309
Traitor.
1095
00:41:18,376 --> 00:41:20,912
Stace? What's going on?
Who are you talking to?
1096
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:24,816
Oh, honey,
you're not gonna believe this.
1097
00:41:24,883 --> 00:41:26,985
You wanna hear something funny?
1098
00:41:27,052 --> 00:41:30,088
Bob just dragged me up
the steps of a brownstone
1099
00:41:30,155 --> 00:41:31,557
just a few blocks away from you.
1100
00:41:31,623 --> 00:41:34,526
Who's the boss?!
On Malverne.
1101
00:41:34,593 --> 00:41:36,695
You think he has a friend
in the neighborhood?
1102
00:41:36,762 --> 00:41:38,964
Dark-haired genius, about 5'4"?
1103
00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:41,166
Stace, he's a dog, okay?
1104
00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:42,968
You let him, he's gonna
walk all over you.
1105
00:41:43,034 --> 00:41:44,703
Wonder where he learned it.
1106
00:41:44,770 --> 00:41:46,104
Oh! Honey, I'm sorry.
1107
00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:48,874
I've gotta go. Okay, call you
from a hard line.
1108
00:41:48,940 --> 00:41:50,208
Excuse me!
1109
00:41:50,275 --> 00:41:51,677
Sorry.
1110
00:41:52,944 --> 00:41:54,980
- Hello.
- Who is it?
1111
00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:56,381
- Hello?
- Who's there?
1112
00:41:57,749 --> 00:41:59,851
- Hello. Bob?
- Is anybody there?
1113
00:42:01,486 --> 00:42:02,487
Bob?
1114
00:42:02,554 --> 00:42:04,455
Oh, come on, man.
1115
00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:06,792
Stay!
You recognize his bark?
1116
00:42:06,858 --> 00:42:08,760
- Sit!
- And he did.
1117
00:42:08,827 --> 00:42:10,161
I'm coming down.
1118
00:42:11,697 --> 00:42:14,099
Bob, come on! Shh.
1119
00:42:14,165 --> 00:42:16,568
Come on, down here, down here.
1120
00:42:16,635 --> 00:42:18,604
Shh, shh. I need you
to be very, very quiet.
1121
00:42:18,670 --> 00:42:20,672
Bob?
1122
00:42:22,207 --> 00:42:23,241
Bob?!
1123
00:42:23,308 --> 00:42:24,776
As I squatted,
1124
00:42:24,843 --> 00:42:27,946
holding the snout of a dog
in love with another woman...
1125
00:42:28,013 --> 00:42:29,247
Bob?
1126
00:42:29,314 --> 00:42:31,950
I sadly realized I had reached
an all-time low.
1127
00:42:32,017 --> 00:42:34,252
Bob! Oh, come here,
sweetheart.
1128
00:42:34,319 --> 00:42:36,287
You little boy.
1129
00:42:36,354 --> 00:42:38,256
What are you doing
out there, huh?
1130
00:42:38,323 --> 00:42:40,058
Huh? Where's your daddy?
Let's go call your daddy.
1131
00:42:40,125 --> 00:42:41,526
Come on, little pumpkin head.
1132
00:42:47,198 --> 00:42:49,167
Ooh!
1133
00:42:49,234 --> 00:42:51,737
I ran out on my mani.
Where is he?
1134
00:42:51,803 --> 00:42:53,204
In there with her.
1135
00:42:54,673 --> 00:42:55,707
Number two.
1136
00:43:00,679 --> 00:43:02,914
Yes?
Hi, it's Stacy Holt.
1137
00:43:02,981 --> 00:43:04,082
Don't use my name!
1138
00:43:04,149 --> 00:43:05,416
Holtenfrau.
What?
1139
00:43:05,483 --> 00:43:06,584
The dog-walker.
I'm here for Steve.
1140
00:43:06,652 --> 00:43:07,819
Bob!
1141
00:43:07,886 --> 00:43:09,955
Bob!
Come on up. Number two.
1142
00:43:21,299 --> 00:43:23,434
Did she have pictures of
herself in the apartment?
1143
00:43:23,501 --> 00:43:25,203
No. She was very nice.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
1144
00:43:25,270 --> 00:43:27,138
That makes me feel better.
1145
00:43:27,205 --> 00:43:28,640
It's vibrating.
Really?
1146
00:43:28,707 --> 00:43:29,975
Mm-hm.
1147
00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:31,710
What are you doing?
1148
00:43:31,777 --> 00:43:33,645
Give me a few minutes.
1149
00:43:33,712 --> 00:43:35,681
Oh, stop that!
1150
00:43:35,747 --> 00:43:37,683
You know, this little guy
could make me very happy.
1151
00:43:37,749 --> 00:43:39,350
Okay, now you're
officially scaring me.
1152
00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:41,319
If it turns into a pizza,
I'm getting one.
1153
00:43:41,386 --> 00:43:43,221
Take that thing
out of your pants.
1154
00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:47,959
Oh, wow.
1155
00:43:48,026 --> 00:43:50,395
So Joyce has freckles, huh?
1156
00:43:50,461 --> 00:43:52,097
All over!
1157
00:43:52,163 --> 00:43:54,866
What?
And she's not self-conscious.
1158
00:43:54,933 --> 00:43:59,337
So many women hide their
bodies these days, but not her
1159
00:44:01,907 --> 00:44:03,241
How did you get that?
1160
00:44:03,308 --> 00:44:05,844
The little camera thing
came on against my...
1161
00:44:05,911 --> 00:44:07,645
And she, you know...
There she is.
1162
00:44:07,713 --> 00:44:09,080
Jackpot!
1163
00:44:09,147 --> 00:44:10,716
Look at that arrow.
Should I press it?
1164
00:44:10,782 --> 00:44:12,350
No.
Why not?
1165
00:44:12,417 --> 00:44:13,785
Okay, yes.
1166
00:44:13,852 --> 00:44:15,553
[PRESSES KEY,
PALM PILOT CHIMESÑ
1167
00:44:15,620 --> 00:44:17,188
Oh, my God.
There's so many.
1168
00:44:19,791 --> 00:44:21,126
I'm not doing this.
1169
00:44:21,192 --> 00:44:22,694
I can't.
Okay.
1170
00:44:22,761 --> 00:44:24,095
I can't. It's like going
through someone's drawers.
1171
00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:26,231
Hey, Stace, would you
wear a thong...
1172
00:44:26,297 --> 00:44:28,399
in front of your
boyfriend's parents...
1173
00:44:28,466 --> 00:44:29,801
repeatedly?
1174
00:44:29,868 --> 00:44:32,370
My boyfriend's parents?
1175
00:44:35,406 --> 00:44:38,276
"Mom, Dad, Joyce.
Hawaii, '99"?
1176
00:44:38,343 --> 00:44:40,445
He doesn't bring
girls home, huh?
1177
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,613
Oh, look.
Christmas '98.
1178
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,149
They went to Aspen.
1179
00:44:44,215 --> 00:44:46,151
I can't believe this.
1180
00:44:46,217 --> 00:44:49,054
He could have a sister named
Joyce who he French kisses.
1181
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,956
And licks.
1182
00:44:51,022 --> 00:44:52,490
Mmm.
1183
00:44:52,557 --> 00:44:54,760
Dare you to press
the next arrow.
1184
00:44:54,826 --> 00:44:56,094
Shit!
1185
00:44:56,161 --> 00:44:57,963
How bad?
Shit!
1186
00:44:58,029 --> 00:44:59,865
Pornographic?
It's out of power.
1187
00:44:59,931 --> 00:45:01,099
Where are we going?
1188
00:45:01,166 --> 00:45:02,700
We're gonna put
this baby in a cradle.
1189
00:45:02,768 --> 00:45:04,435
Okay. Okay.
Come on!
1190
00:45:05,470 --> 00:45:06,872
Hurry up, Bob!
1191
00:45:15,613 --> 00:45:17,148
I'll be right back.
1192
00:45:21,820 --> 00:45:24,122
All systems go!
1193
00:45:24,189 --> 00:45:26,224
Okay!
1194
00:45:36,434 --> 00:45:38,436
I know.
1195
00:45:38,503 --> 00:45:41,072
Because you can.
1196
00:45:46,812 --> 00:45:48,914
Would I like to sync?
1197
00:45:48,980 --> 00:45:50,849
Kinky.
1198
00:45:53,418 --> 00:45:55,987
Entertainment. Absolument.
1199
00:45:59,624 --> 00:46:01,726
Here's the thing... No!
1200
00:46:03,061 --> 00:46:04,562
No!
1201
00:46:04,629 --> 00:46:06,364
You'll thank me.
I know.
1202
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:10,101
Jesus!
1203
00:46:10,168 --> 00:46:11,702
Wow.
1204
00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:15,040
Presenting Joyce Moore
and her cheesy music.
1205
00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:16,908
Make it stop.
1206
00:46:16,975 --> 00:46:18,309
Barbara!
1207
00:46:18,376 --> 00:46:20,345
Trying. Trying.
Please make it stop.
1208
00:46:23,214 --> 00:46:25,583
Oh, great.
Now it's frozen.
1209
00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:27,118
Hey, if you can do better...
1210
00:46:27,185 --> 00:46:28,719
Later. Listen.
1211
00:46:28,786 --> 00:46:30,655
Here's the thing.
1212
00:46:30,721 --> 00:46:33,224
If you were happy
with what you know,
1213
00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:35,393
do you deserve an explanation
about what you don't?
1214
00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:37,195
Mmm.
I'm... No.
1215
00:46:37,262 --> 00:46:38,596
I mean, hypothetically,
1216
00:46:38,663 --> 00:46:40,398
you're in this great
relationship with Neil...
1217
00:46:40,465 --> 00:46:41,799
That's his name, right?
1218
00:46:41,867 --> 00:46:43,601
I was never in a good
relationship with Neil.
1219
00:46:43,668 --> 00:46:45,136
Hypothetically.
1220
00:46:45,203 --> 00:46:47,973
You get married, you have kids.
1221
00:46:48,039 --> 00:46:50,675
I mean, you're totally
and completely fulfilled.
1222
00:46:50,741 --> 00:46:51,776
Then Neil dies...
1223
00:46:52,911 --> 00:46:54,012
Where's that dial tone
coming from?
1224
00:46:54,079 --> 00:46:55,947
I don't know. Tragically?
Does he die tragically?
1225
00:46:56,014 --> 00:46:57,949
Okay. And then you
find out he cheated,
1226
00:46:58,016 --> 00:46:59,584
that he had
this whole other life.
1227
00:46:59,650 --> 00:47:02,353
Now, does that detract from
what you two had together?
1228
00:47:02,420 --> 00:47:03,754
Does it make it all a lie?
1229
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,523
Yes.
Why?
1230
00:47:05,590 --> 00:47:08,894
Because omissions are betrayals.
1231
00:47:10,261 --> 00:47:11,930
Omissions are...
Betrayals.
1232
00:47:11,997 --> 00:47:13,764
They are betrayals.
1233
00:47:14,900 --> 00:47:16,401
Is that your cell?
1234
00:47:16,467 --> 00:47:17,802
Mine whistles.
1235
00:47:17,869 --> 00:47:19,604
- Hey there.
- It's Joyce Moore.
1236
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:21,439
Do the deed after the beep.
1237
00:47:21,506 --> 00:47:23,108
What?
1238
00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:25,343
The computer called Joyce.
1239
00:47:25,410 --> 00:47:28,046
What did you do?!
Nothing. I was standing here!
1240
00:47:29,547 --> 00:47:31,082
Hey, you got Derek's machine.
1241
00:47:31,149 --> 00:47:33,084
You know what to do
and when to do it.
1242
00:47:33,151 --> 00:47:35,686
Derek, are you there?
It's Joyce.
1243
00:47:35,753 --> 00:47:37,088
My caller ID
said you just phoned.
1244
00:47:37,155 --> 00:47:38,589
Why'd you hang up?
1245
00:47:38,656 --> 00:47:40,591
I've been waiting for you
to call since last week.
1246
00:47:40,658 --> 00:47:41,993
What?
1247
00:47:42,060 --> 00:47:43,394
Okay, give me a holler.
1248
00:47:43,461 --> 00:47:45,363
If I'm not home, try my cell.
1249
00:47:45,430 --> 00:47:48,199
By the way,
everyone loved your joke.
1250
00:47:48,266 --> 00:47:49,400
Bye.
1251
00:47:49,467 --> 00:47:51,369
His joke?
1252
00:47:51,436 --> 00:47:53,404
What joke?
1253
00:47:53,471 --> 00:47:55,806
Derek doesn't joke.
1254
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:57,542
Nobody thinks he's funny.
1255
00:47:57,608 --> 00:47:59,544
He's not funny.
What does this mean?
1256
00:47:59,610 --> 00:48:01,612
I think it means
she's not history.
1257
00:48:03,614 --> 00:48:05,083
Is it always like this here?
1258
00:48:05,150 --> 00:48:06,451
Hey, you got Derek's machine.
1259
00:48:06,517 --> 00:48:08,553
You know what to do
and when to do it.
1260
00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:11,589
Oh, God. It's Derek.
He's checking the messages.
1261
00:48:11,656 --> 00:48:12,991
He's gonna hear Joyce.
1262
00:48:13,058 --> 00:48:15,460
E-e-e-e-e-erase it.
1263
00:48:15,526 --> 00:48:16,827
Smash it! Do something!
Okay.
1264
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:18,796
How? What am I
gonna do?
1265
00:48:18,863 --> 00:48:20,665
Kill it!
Arggh! I... Okay.
1266
00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:22,433
Okay. Get... Ooh!
1267
00:48:25,070 --> 00:48:26,104
Derek...
1268
00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:31,009
Good! There!
Yeah!
1269
00:48:31,076 --> 00:48:32,477
Ha!
1270
00:48:37,082 --> 00:48:39,117
What?
1271
00:48:39,184 --> 00:48:43,121
I've just smashed an answering
machine with a hockey stick!
1272
00:48:43,188 --> 00:48:44,922
Damn proud of you!
1273
00:48:44,990 --> 00:48:47,892
There were numbers on that
machine that he needed and I...
1274
00:48:47,959 --> 00:48:49,927
I've just smashed it.
1275
00:48:49,995 --> 00:48:52,097
I smashed the hell out of it.
1276
00:48:52,163 --> 00:48:54,265
God's punishing me.
1277
00:48:54,332 --> 00:48:56,367
I hear you, God.
1278
00:48:56,434 --> 00:48:58,003
You can stop now.
1279
00:49:01,172 --> 00:49:02,673
What has happened to me?
1280
00:49:02,740 --> 00:49:04,875
You've discovered truth.
1281
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:07,612
I've discovered
a whole other reality.
1282
00:49:07,678 --> 00:49:11,582
They all talk. Dr. Keyes
and Derek. Joyce and Derek?
1283
00:49:11,649 --> 00:49:14,185
Maybe... Maybe they all talk
to each other.
1284
00:49:14,252 --> 00:49:15,987
Maybe it's just me
they don't talk to.
1285
00:49:16,054 --> 00:49:18,689
Bottom line is...
he's withheld.
1286
00:49:18,756 --> 00:49:20,391
I'm gonna find out
what's going on.
1287
00:49:20,458 --> 00:49:21,659
Good!
1288
00:49:21,726 --> 00:49:23,161
Why she was
waiting for his call.
1289
00:49:23,228 --> 00:49:24,262
Good question.
1290
00:49:24,329 --> 00:49:25,563
And if he still sees her,
1291
00:49:25,630 --> 00:49:27,032
why don't I know?
Better question.
1292
00:49:27,098 --> 00:49:28,499
And if he has nothing to hide,
1293
00:49:28,566 --> 00:49:30,768
why does he insist on hiding
these old relationships?
1294
00:49:30,835 --> 00:49:32,270
Want me to write these down?
1295
00:49:32,337 --> 00:49:34,872
So I guess I need to know...
1296
00:49:34,939 --> 00:49:37,675
what I don't know.
1297
00:49:37,742 --> 00:49:40,711
I just need to.
1298
00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:43,314
...the new Jerusalem...
1299
00:49:43,381 --> 00:49:45,483
Hi, Joyce Moore?
1300
00:49:45,550 --> 00:49:48,153
I'm sorry to call so late.
1301
00:49:48,219 --> 00:49:52,290
This is Barb Campbell-hyphen-
Dunn from the Kippie Kann show
1302
00:49:52,357 --> 00:49:54,259
We're doing a segment on chefs
1303
00:49:54,325 --> 00:49:56,261
and we'd love to talk to you.
1304
00:49:56,327 --> 00:49:57,862
No, I'm not kidding.
1305
00:49:57,928 --> 00:49:59,430
Okay.
1306
00:49:59,497 --> 00:50:01,499
So I'll call tomorrow
and we'll set something up.
1307
00:50:01,566 --> 00:50:03,434
I'd love to talk to you.
1308
00:50:03,501 --> 00:50:04,935
Bye-bye.
1309
00:50:08,373 --> 00:50:14,011
♪ It's asking for the taking ♪
1310
00:50:14,079 --> 00:50:18,983
♪ Trembling, shaking ♪
1311
00:50:19,050 --> 00:50:24,322
♪ Oh, my heart is aching ♪
1312
00:50:24,389 --> 00:50:27,458
♪ We've come to the edge ♪
♪ Running on the water ♪
1313
00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:30,128
♪ Coming through the fog ♪
♪ Your sons and daughters ♪
1314
00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:32,763
♪ Let the river run ♪
1315
00:50:32,830 --> 00:50:34,332
♪ Let the river run ♪
1316
00:50:34,399 --> 00:50:36,067
♪ Let all the dreamers ♪
1317
00:50:36,134 --> 00:50:37,268
♪ Let all the dreamers ♪
1318
00:50:37,335 --> 00:50:38,469
♪ Wake the nation ♪
1319
00:50:38,536 --> 00:50:40,205
♪ Wake the nation ♪
1320
00:50:40,271 --> 00:50:42,107
♪ Come ♪
1321
00:50:42,173 --> 00:50:49,080
♪ The new Jerusalem ♪
1322
00:50:51,949 --> 00:50:53,384
I'll have a double espresso...
Sorry, no.
1323
00:50:53,451 --> 00:50:54,985
What?
1324
00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:56,854
I live in a basement
apartment on Malverne.
1325
00:50:56,921 --> 00:51:00,325
You were hiding in my doorway
last night, smothering a dog.
1326
00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:02,427
I was not smothering him.
1327
00:51:02,493 --> 00:51:04,395
It's a little game we play.
1328
00:51:04,462 --> 00:51:06,197
Double espresso, please.
1329
00:51:06,264 --> 00:51:07,632
You already scare people.
1330
00:51:07,698 --> 00:51:10,201
More caffeine
will make you a freak.
1331
00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:12,036
Are you trying to upset me?
1332
00:51:12,103 --> 00:51:14,038
If I do, are you
gonna hold my snout?
1333
00:51:14,105 --> 00:51:16,707
I'll get the latte
and you get a chai iced tea.
1334
00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:19,377
We'll switch after.Thanks.
1335
00:51:19,444 --> 00:51:21,212
I heard that.
1336
00:51:21,279 --> 00:51:23,948
Joyce? Hi.
1337
00:51:24,014 --> 00:51:25,616
Hi. You're Barb?
1338
00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:27,352
How'd you know it was me?
1339
00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:29,387
Lucky guess.
1340
00:51:30,555 --> 00:51:31,989
I'll be watching.
1341
00:51:33,891 --> 00:51:35,493
You're a jokester.
1342
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:36,994
Yeah.
1343
00:51:37,061 --> 00:51:39,864
We have this little thing.
1344
00:51:41,232 --> 00:51:43,868
So I've heard amazing
things about you,
1345
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:45,570
about the Kaleidoscope.
1346
00:51:45,636 --> 00:51:47,772
From?
People.
1347
00:51:47,838 --> 00:51:50,641
Who've been there.
Who know your work.
1348
00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:52,143
You have a fan base.
1349
00:51:52,210 --> 00:51:53,811
I'm only on two nights a week.
1350
00:51:53,878 --> 00:51:56,414
Quality, not quantity.
Yes.
1351
00:51:56,481 --> 00:51:58,249
So, um, tell me about the show.
1352
00:51:58,316 --> 00:51:59,584
I haven't watched for a while,
1353
00:51:59,650 --> 00:52:01,552
but doesn't Kippie Kann
1354
00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:03,821
do more of the "my wife slept
with my sister..."
1355
00:52:03,888 --> 00:52:06,023
"And my dad." Ew.
Ew.
1356
00:52:07,625 --> 00:52:09,894
No, we're trying to revamp
the show right now.
1357
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,930
So I pitched this idea,
which is this cook-off.
1358
00:52:12,997 --> 00:52:15,065
This is its research stage
where I pretend
1359
00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:17,535
that I'm Diane Sawyer
asking brilliant questions,
1360
00:52:17,602 --> 00:52:19,036
while looking chic.
1361
00:52:19,103 --> 00:52:20,371
Well, that's funny.
1362
00:52:20,438 --> 00:52:22,373
You know, she was just in
the restaurant last week.
1363
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:24,509
Do you want your latte?
1364
00:52:24,575 --> 00:52:26,177
No. Who was?
1365
00:52:26,244 --> 00:52:27,445
Diane Sawyer.
1366
00:52:27,512 --> 00:52:30,281
She was here... in Jersey?
Yeah.
1367
00:52:30,348 --> 00:52:32,683
The night manager
knows her field producer,
1368
00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:35,119
so they all came in
for this big dinner.
1369
00:52:35,186 --> 00:52:36,587
She's really nice.
1370
00:52:37,555 --> 00:52:38,589
She is?
1371
00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:39,757
Wow.
1372
00:52:39,824 --> 00:52:42,126
I have wanted to meet her
my whole, entire life.
1373
00:52:42,193 --> 00:52:43,394
Then you will.
1374
00:52:43,461 --> 00:52:45,296
I believe in destiny, don't you?
1375
00:52:45,363 --> 00:52:46,564
I do.
1376
00:52:48,299 --> 00:52:49,900
Excuse me.
Mm-hm. Yeah.
1377
00:52:49,967 --> 00:52:51,135
Coming, coming, coming, coming.
1378
00:52:51,202 --> 00:52:52,870
Hey.
1379
00:52:52,937 --> 00:52:54,071
Kipp!
1380
00:52:54,138 --> 00:52:56,674
I'm just in the middle
of an interview.
1381
00:52:56,741 --> 00:52:57,875
Okay. Uh, yeah, I'm sorry.
1382
00:52:57,942 --> 00:52:59,477
Listen, uh, real quick, then.
1383
00:52:59,544 --> 00:53:01,279
My machine at home is screwed up
1384
00:53:01,346 --> 00:53:03,080
and I need to get
a couple of numbers.
1385
00:53:03,147 --> 00:53:04,549
Do you know where my Palm is?
Yeah.
1386
00:53:04,615 --> 00:53:06,317
Ah, that's great.
Okay, I need to get...
1387
00:53:06,384 --> 00:53:07,385
Could you look up Rafalski?
1388
00:53:07,452 --> 00:53:08,553
Yikes!
1389
00:53:11,856 --> 00:53:13,458
Stace?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
1390
00:53:13,524 --> 00:53:15,260
Can I borrow a pen?
Mm-hm.
1391
00:53:15,326 --> 00:53:16,461
And a piece of...
1392
00:53:16,527 --> 00:53:18,162
Thank you.
1393
00:53:18,229 --> 00:53:19,397
Thanks.
1394
00:53:19,464 --> 00:53:20,465
Rafalski.
1395
00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:22,767
Rafalski.
1396
00:53:22,833 --> 00:53:23,901
And Langenbrunner.
1397
00:53:23,968 --> 00:53:28,138
And Langenbrunner.
1398
00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:29,807
Is that it?
That's it.
1399
00:53:29,874 --> 00:53:30,875
I love you.
1400
00:53:30,941 --> 00:53:32,543
I love you!
1401
00:53:33,478 --> 00:53:34,545
You too, Kipp.
1402
00:53:34,612 --> 00:53:35,746
Oh, hey, listen.
1403
00:53:35,813 --> 00:53:37,448
Before I forget,
the password is "Bob."
1404
00:53:37,515 --> 00:53:38,983
Gotcha.
1405
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:40,318
All right, bye.
1406
00:53:40,385 --> 00:53:42,387
Okay, then.
1407
00:53:42,453 --> 00:53:45,323
Can I ask you something
totally none of my business?
1408
00:53:45,390 --> 00:53:46,724
Were you just talking
to Kippie Kann
1409
00:53:46,791 --> 00:53:49,394
about Jamie Langenbrunner
and Brian Rafalski?
1410
00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:51,496
You know them?
I wish!
1411
00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:54,131
I am the biggest hockey nut
this side of Newark.
1412
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:57,802
We're trying to book them
on the show.
1413
00:53:57,868 --> 00:53:59,804
We're doing
a whole recruiting segment.
1414
00:53:59,870 --> 00:54:01,506
I'm their hockey gal.
1415
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:03,774
You should meet my ex.
He's a scout for the Devils.
1416
00:54:03,841 --> 00:54:06,411
Here, give me your Palm
and I can beam you his number.
1417
00:54:06,477 --> 00:54:07,545
It's frozen.
1418
00:54:07,612 --> 00:54:08,813
I can fix it.
Mmm, doh.
1419
00:54:08,879 --> 00:54:11,349
No. That's so sweet,
but thank you.
1420
00:54:11,416 --> 00:54:13,751
Okay, well, why don't you just
hold down the power button?
1421
00:54:13,818 --> 00:54:15,353
Go ahead.
1422
00:54:16,387 --> 00:54:17,622
Power button.
1423
00:54:18,856 --> 00:54:20,625
And you should hear a...
1424
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,395
And fingers crossed...
1425
00:54:24,462 --> 00:54:25,563
Fingers crossed.
1426
00:54:25,630 --> 00:54:26,831
...it will reset.
1427
00:54:27,832 --> 00:54:29,199
Okay.
1428
00:54:31,436 --> 00:54:33,404
I cannot believe it.
1429
00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,542
I can explain.
1430
00:54:37,608 --> 00:54:40,311
You have I Spy.
That's a brand-new program.
1431
00:54:40,378 --> 00:54:41,512
Do you mind?
1432
00:54:41,579 --> 00:54:43,481
Having I Spy?
No, I don't mind.
1433
00:54:43,548 --> 00:54:45,516
Do you mind beaming it to me?
1434
00:54:45,583 --> 00:54:47,151
Here, I can...
Want me to show you?
1435
00:54:47,217 --> 00:54:48,586
Just do this.
1436
00:54:49,720 --> 00:54:51,756
This. And...
1437
00:54:53,090 --> 00:54:54,992
Voilà!
1438
00:54:55,059 --> 00:54:56,193
Voilà, what?
1439
00:54:56,260 --> 00:54:57,495
Voilà, now I've got it.
1440
00:54:57,562 --> 00:54:58,996
But it's his... Mine.
1441
00:54:59,063 --> 00:55:00,531
I want it back, please.
1442
00:55:00,598 --> 00:55:02,800
No, we both have it.
1443
00:55:02,867 --> 00:55:04,769
You have one
and I have its twin.
1444
00:55:06,971 --> 00:55:08,706
You've never done it before.
1445
00:55:08,773 --> 00:55:11,241
Virgin. Damn proud of it.
1446
00:55:13,010 --> 00:55:14,479
You're funny.
1447
00:55:14,545 --> 00:55:17,147
So I work next Wednesday.
1448
00:55:17,214 --> 00:55:18,783
Why don't you come by
for dinner?
1449
00:55:18,849 --> 00:55:21,251
I will wow you
with my chicken paillard.
1450
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:23,954
How could I refuse?
1451
00:55:24,021 --> 00:55:28,025
She had an ease, an openness,
and the answers.
1452
00:55:28,092 --> 00:55:30,060
She had the answers.
1453
00:55:30,127 --> 00:55:31,496
Party!
1454
00:55:31,562 --> 00:55:32,730
Uh!
1455
00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:38,869
Kippie! Watch it, here!
Watch it!
1456
00:55:42,039 --> 00:55:43,841
Cut it! Phil, cut it!
1457
00:55:43,908 --> 00:55:45,275
Cut it. Reset.
1458
00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:47,111
Oh, God, she's coming up.
1459
00:55:47,177 --> 00:55:48,278
She's coming up.
1460
00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:49,480
Katie!
1461
00:55:49,547 --> 00:55:50,981
Take it easy.
1462
00:55:51,048 --> 00:55:52,049
Okay!
1463
00:55:55,553 --> 00:55:57,321
Seven, eight, nine...
1464
00:55:57,388 --> 00:55:58,523
Carl!
1465
00:55:58,589 --> 00:56:00,925
What? You were fantastic.
1466
00:56:00,991 --> 00:56:02,827
That was very emotional.
1467
00:56:02,893 --> 00:56:04,028
Phil?
1468
00:56:04,094 --> 00:56:05,329
Yeah, I teared up.
1469
00:56:05,396 --> 00:56:07,097
Trust me, no one does midgets
like Kippie.
1470
00:56:07,164 --> 00:56:08,265
Like you.
1471
00:56:08,332 --> 00:56:09,400
But everyone does 'em!
1472
00:56:09,467 --> 00:56:11,101
Don't you get it?
1473
00:56:11,168 --> 00:56:13,771
I want something fresh,
original...
1474
00:56:13,838 --> 00:56:14,872
It was his idea.
1475
00:56:14,939 --> 00:56:16,073
Ira?
1476
00:56:16,140 --> 00:56:17,975
Now she remembers my name.
1477
00:56:18,042 --> 00:56:20,377
Can somebody get these midgets
out? I'm tripping all over 'em
1478
00:56:20,445 --> 00:56:22,146
Here comes the numbers speech.
1479
00:56:24,549 --> 00:56:27,785
My numbers go up,
your numbers go up.
1480
00:56:27,852 --> 00:56:29,219
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
1481
00:56:29,286 --> 00:56:32,389
My success is your success.
1482
00:56:32,457 --> 00:56:34,291
Jerry Maguire.
Jerry Maguire.
1483
00:56:34,358 --> 00:56:37,094
Help Kippie help you!
1484
00:56:37,161 --> 00:56:39,296
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
That was very moving.
1485
00:56:39,363 --> 00:56:41,466
I think we should
all take a moment...
1486
00:56:41,532 --> 00:56:42,667
Places!
1487
00:56:42,733 --> 00:56:43,934
Miserable midgets!
1488
00:56:44,001 --> 00:56:45,102
Moment's up.
1489
00:56:45,169 --> 00:56:47,271
Places! Stand by, intro.
1490
00:56:47,337 --> 00:56:48,639
We're back in one.
1491
00:56:48,706 --> 00:56:50,040
We are just about ready
1492
00:56:50,107 --> 00:56:51,609
Phil, we're reset.
1493
00:56:51,676 --> 00:56:52,977
Okay, stand by, Kippie.
1494
00:56:53,043 --> 00:56:56,346
"'Kippie's Kute Kouplings'
continues."
1495
00:56:56,413 --> 00:56:58,048
Three, two...
1496
00:57:00,117 --> 00:57:02,887
Bob, I want you
to move in really tight.
1497
00:57:02,953 --> 00:57:06,524
Tighter, tighter, tighter,
till I tell you to stop.
1498
00:57:06,591 --> 00:57:08,726
Yeah. There. Take it.
1499
00:57:08,793 --> 00:57:11,629
We've a collection of cute
couples to clear things up.
1500
00:57:12,897 --> 00:57:14,231
I can't believe this.
1501
00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:19,236
What are you so worried about?
1502
00:57:19,303 --> 00:57:21,772
Do you think my idea is good?
I mean, enough...
1503
00:57:21,839 --> 00:57:23,173
For the live show?
Yeah.
1504
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,009
Absolutely. I'm convinced
they'll give it to you.
1505
00:57:25,075 --> 00:57:27,244
"Grandma Was a Grandpa
Last Week"? Over here.
1506
00:57:27,311 --> 00:57:28,312
Why? What do you know?
1507
00:57:28,378 --> 00:57:29,580
Not much.
1508
00:57:29,647 --> 00:57:31,281
It's just, after staff...
1509
00:57:31,348 --> 00:57:32,850
When?
Monday.
1510
00:57:32,917 --> 00:57:35,319
Today's the big day!
I know!
1511
00:57:35,385 --> 00:57:36,453
Go on.
1512
00:57:36,521 --> 00:57:37,822
I overheard them.
1513
00:57:37,888 --> 00:57:39,189
Pardon me? Who? Who?
1514
00:57:39,256 --> 00:57:41,225
Uh, Barb, Carl, Kippie.
1515
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:42,560
Kippie? Kippie?
Kippie's there?
1516
00:57:42,627 --> 00:57:43,661
Yes.
1517
00:57:43,728 --> 00:57:44,795
Continue.
1518
00:57:44,862 --> 00:57:46,430
Well, they thought
1519
00:57:46,497 --> 00:57:47,998
your "Little Black Book" idea
was great.
1520
00:57:49,166 --> 00:57:50,334
They're right.
1521
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,703
I mean, uh... it's my time.
1522
00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:57,041
I put in the work.
I'm next up for promotion.
1523
00:57:57,107 --> 00:57:58,208
It only makes sense.
1524
00:57:58,275 --> 00:57:59,577
It only makes sense.
1525
00:58:01,512 --> 00:58:02,913
Little black books.
Little black books.
1526
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:05,249
Little black books.
Little black books.
1527
00:58:05,315 --> 00:58:06,751
This season's live show
1528
00:58:06,817 --> 00:58:08,919
will be...
1529
00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:11,155
Little black books.
Little black books.
1530
00:58:11,221 --> 00:58:12,322
"Plastic Surgery Nightmares."
1531
00:58:12,389 --> 00:58:16,126
Congratulations, Barb.
Our newest producer.
1532
00:58:16,193 --> 00:58:17,662
Way to go, girl.
1533
00:58:17,728 --> 00:58:18,863
Good one.
1534
00:58:20,598 --> 00:58:22,332
Now, people. People.
1535
00:58:22,399 --> 00:58:23,601
People.
1536
00:58:23,668 --> 00:58:24,835
Since we are live,
1537
00:58:24,902 --> 00:58:26,403
I'm expecting everybody
to pitch in, right?
1538
00:58:26,470 --> 00:58:27,638
Right.
1539
00:58:27,705 --> 00:58:28,706
Right. Now that's a wrap.
1540
00:58:29,940 --> 00:58:30,975
- Katie?
- Yes?
1541
00:58:31,041 --> 00:58:32,042
Tough luck, Ira.
1542
00:58:40,818 --> 00:58:42,286
Sorry, Ira.
1543
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:43,888
Maybe next sweeps.
1544
00:58:43,954 --> 00:58:45,222
Sweet.
1545
00:58:46,657 --> 00:58:48,158
Naive, but sweet.
1546
00:58:49,359 --> 00:58:50,460
Hey.
1547
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:52,329
You wanna go to dinner?
1548
00:58:52,396 --> 00:58:53,430
Uh, can't.
1549
00:58:53,497 --> 00:58:54,498
I'm on the collection committee
1550
00:58:54,565 --> 00:58:55,633
for the Kippie Kann Kan Drive,
1551
00:58:55,700 --> 00:58:57,034
the Kippie Kares for Kids
Koalition.
1552
00:58:57,101 --> 00:58:58,168
Catch you later.
1553
00:58:58,235 --> 00:58:59,236
'Kay.
1554
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:04,241
Is he okay?
1555
00:59:04,308 --> 00:59:07,077
Uh, he's trying to be.
1556
00:59:07,144 --> 00:59:09,146
How about you?
Urban legend.
1557
00:59:09,213 --> 00:59:12,717
Huh? You said APs
never get the live show.
1558
00:59:12,783 --> 00:59:14,384
What do I know? Come with me.
1559
00:59:14,451 --> 00:59:15,753
I've got a surprise for you.
1560
00:59:16,854 --> 00:59:18,522
Carl, here she is.
1561
00:59:21,626 --> 00:59:22,660
Stacy...
1562
00:59:22,727 --> 00:59:25,062
Kippie liked your idea too.
1563
00:59:25,129 --> 00:59:26,831
Yeah.
1564
00:59:26,897 --> 00:59:28,933
For the tri-state cook-off!
1565
00:59:28,999 --> 00:59:30,868
So if you could ask...
What's her name?
1566
00:59:30,935 --> 00:59:32,502
Joyce.
Joyce.
1567
00:59:32,569 --> 00:59:34,271
If we could have it at the...
Kaleidoscope Kitchen.
1568
00:59:34,338 --> 00:59:35,640
Oh, love the K's.
1569
00:59:35,706 --> 00:59:36,707
And Kippie loves cook-offs,
1570
00:59:36,774 --> 00:59:38,108
so you get
those pre-interviews in
1571
00:59:38,175 --> 00:59:39,443
by the end of the week.
1572
00:59:39,509 --> 00:59:41,411
Barb, you copilot. Katie.
1573
00:59:41,478 --> 00:59:42,847
Carl, can I talk to you
about Kippie's fund-raiser?
1574
00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:44,782
Was he saying...?
Are you saying...?
1575
00:59:44,849 --> 00:59:45,883
Congratulations.
1576
00:59:47,184 --> 00:59:49,053
My first show!
1577
00:59:49,119 --> 00:59:51,521
I mean, it's not a done deal
or anything, but...
1578
00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:52,723
I mean, at least I'll have
1579
00:59:52,790 --> 00:59:54,558
something legitimate
to offer Joyce.
1580
00:59:54,625 --> 00:59:55,793
This is perfect!
1581
00:59:55,860 --> 00:59:57,394
It's perfect! Thank you.
1582
00:59:59,396 --> 01:00:01,198
Oh. I'm sorry.
1583
01:00:01,265 --> 01:00:02,366
That's okay. It's fine.
1584
01:00:02,432 --> 01:00:03,500
I'm smiling.
1585
01:00:06,170 --> 01:00:07,537
Now Joyce could bake her cake
1586
01:00:07,604 --> 01:00:10,007
and the audience
could eat it too.
1587
01:00:10,074 --> 01:00:11,475
Get that out to table four.
1588
01:00:11,541 --> 01:00:12,977
Make sure they still have wine.
1589
01:00:14,278 --> 01:00:15,946
Which somehow made me feel
1590
01:00:16,013 --> 01:00:19,449
a little less like
the lying scumbag that I was.
1591
01:00:19,516 --> 01:00:21,986
And voilà.
1592
01:00:23,688 --> 01:00:25,355
And this is for dessert.
1593
01:00:25,422 --> 01:00:26,957
What?
1594
01:00:27,024 --> 01:00:28,759
What did you do?
1595
01:00:30,928 --> 01:00:33,163
Oh! Joyce!
1596
01:00:33,230 --> 01:00:35,800
Open it.
1597
01:00:35,866 --> 01:00:38,836
"To Barb. I can't wait to...
Love, Diane."
1598
01:00:38,903 --> 01:00:40,570
I can't believe you!
1599
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:41,872
The night manager
got it for you.
1600
01:00:41,939 --> 01:00:42,973
It's just a little thing.
1601
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,074
Thank you!
1602
01:00:44,141 --> 01:00:45,309
You're welcome.
1603
01:00:45,375 --> 01:00:46,510
Table 24 left this for you.
1604
01:00:46,576 --> 01:00:47,611
Thank you, Gordon.
1605
01:00:47,678 --> 01:00:49,146
It's Pat Burns. He's the...
1606
01:00:49,213 --> 01:00:50,948
Head coach for
the New Jersey Devils. I know.
1607
01:00:51,015 --> 01:00:52,783
Right, I forgot.
You're the hockey gal.
1608
01:00:54,418 --> 01:00:56,721
Oh! Oh, my God!
1609
01:00:57,722 --> 01:00:59,990
Tickets for the playoffs?
1610
01:01:00,057 --> 01:01:01,558
You're beloved.
1611
01:01:01,625 --> 01:01:03,060
Come with me.
1612
01:01:03,127 --> 01:01:04,128
They're for tomorrow night.
1613
01:01:04,194 --> 01:01:05,362
I mean, if you can.
1614
01:01:05,429 --> 01:01:06,897
These are tickets
for the Stanley Cup.
1615
01:01:06,964 --> 01:01:09,066
You're a crazy girl.
1616
01:01:09,133 --> 01:01:12,770
Well, I don't know anyone else
who likes hockey.
1617
01:01:12,837 --> 01:01:13,871
Except my little brother.
1618
01:01:13,938 --> 01:01:15,272
And I'd rather go with you.
1619
01:01:16,340 --> 01:01:17,975
And Derek will be there.
1620
01:01:18,042 --> 01:01:20,377
I'm s... Who?
1621
01:01:20,444 --> 01:01:21,879
My ex.
1622
01:01:21,946 --> 01:01:24,148
I told you about him.
He works for the Devils.
1623
01:01:24,214 --> 01:01:25,950
We'll meet him after the game
for a drink.
1624
01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:27,017
It's a ritual.
1625
01:01:28,018 --> 01:01:29,353
Oh, really?
1626
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:31,789
Oh, my God.
1627
01:01:31,856 --> 01:01:33,423
The beautiful people
have arrived.
1628
01:01:33,490 --> 01:01:36,660
They come every Wednesday
night to be seen.
1629
01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:41,131
Anyway,
I better call the manager
1630
01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:42,733
and make sure
the camera crew is cleared.
1631
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:43,934
So we're on for the game?
1632
01:01:44,001 --> 01:01:45,202
Yeah.
Great. Give me a call.
1633
01:01:45,269 --> 01:01:46,303
You have my number?
Yep.
1634
01:01:46,370 --> 01:01:47,872
Okay, good. Oh!
1635
01:01:47,938 --> 01:01:49,706
Those are Manolos, you clumsy...
1636
01:01:50,507 --> 01:01:52,276
Joyce.
1637
01:01:52,342 --> 01:01:54,678
If I were you, I wouldn't
finish that statement.
1638
01:01:56,346 --> 01:01:57,347
Stacy?
1639
01:01:58,883 --> 01:02:00,785
Lulu!
1640
01:02:00,851 --> 01:02:02,319
Get a shot of us.
1641
01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:04,454
She produces
the Kippie Kann show.
1642
01:02:04,521 --> 01:02:06,556
Why is she
calling you Stacy, Barb?
1643
01:02:06,623 --> 01:02:07,691
That's her name.
1644
01:02:07,758 --> 01:02:10,527
No, actually, my name is Barb.
1645
01:02:10,594 --> 01:02:13,363
The other woman
you met's name is Stacy.
1646
01:02:13,430 --> 01:02:14,899
No.
Yes.
1647
01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:16,633
She was Barb.
No.
1648
01:02:16,700 --> 01:02:17,935
Huh?
1649
01:02:18,002 --> 01:02:19,236
What?
1650
01:02:19,303 --> 01:02:20,805
Enjoy your meal.
1651
01:02:20,871 --> 01:02:23,173
Join us, Stacy-Barb?
1652
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:25,810
Uh-uh.
1653
01:02:25,876 --> 01:02:27,812
- Okay, Phillip.
- Bring your camera. Follow me.
1654
01:02:27,878 --> 01:02:29,847
How do you know her?
1655
01:02:31,782 --> 01:02:34,051
We did a show last year
on bulimia.
1656
01:02:34,118 --> 01:02:35,652
Oh, why am I not surprised?
1657
01:02:35,719 --> 01:02:37,287
She does make you
want to throw up.
1658
01:02:37,354 --> 01:02:38,522
Or at least me.
1659
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:40,124
Sorry. I don't
really like her, I guess.
1660
01:02:40,190 --> 01:02:42,126
"I guess"?
1661
01:02:42,192 --> 01:02:44,829
She used to hang out
with my brother,
1662
01:02:44,895 --> 01:02:47,865
and I sort of
took her under my wing,
1663
01:02:47,932 --> 01:02:50,700
until she took Derek
from under mine.
1664
01:02:50,767 --> 01:02:52,636
He cheated on you with her?
1665
01:02:52,702 --> 01:02:54,771
No, we had split up,
1666
01:02:54,839 --> 01:02:57,942
but, you know, one day we're
talking about getting married
1667
01:02:58,008 --> 01:03:01,011
and the next day
we're dating other people.
1668
01:03:01,078 --> 01:03:02,746
Taking space.
1669
01:03:02,813 --> 01:03:05,816
God, I hate that expression,
don't you?
1670
01:03:05,883 --> 01:03:07,051
Hate it. So then?
1671
01:03:07,117 --> 01:03:09,286
So then he starts
talking to Lulu,
1672
01:03:09,353 --> 01:03:10,888
who totally knows the score,
1673
01:03:10,955 --> 01:03:13,891
and then she advises me
to see other people.
1674
01:03:13,958 --> 01:03:15,159
Hideous.
1675
01:03:15,225 --> 01:03:17,027
And she meant nothing to him.
1676
01:03:17,094 --> 01:03:18,428
She was a fling.
1677
01:03:18,495 --> 01:03:20,564
I mean, he wanted us
to get back together,
1678
01:03:20,630 --> 01:03:24,601
but, in a way, we're just
closer being friends.
1679
01:03:24,668 --> 01:03:26,270
You are? Good.
1680
01:03:26,336 --> 01:03:27,504
You are.
We are.
1681
01:03:27,571 --> 01:03:31,008
And if not, there's
always the boomerangs.
1682
01:03:31,075 --> 01:03:32,943
The boomerangs.
1683
01:03:33,010 --> 01:03:34,044
Yeah, you know the kind.
1684
01:03:34,111 --> 01:03:35,779
You throw them out there
into the world...
1685
01:03:35,846 --> 01:03:38,015
And they always
come back to you.
1686
01:03:38,082 --> 01:03:39,149
Yeah, that's right.
1687
01:03:39,216 --> 01:03:40,384
He bought us each one,
1688
01:03:40,450 --> 01:03:43,653
and we promised
never to throw them away,
1689
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:46,190
So no matter what happened,
1690
01:03:46,256 --> 01:03:50,627
if we needed to, or wanted to,
1691
01:03:50,694 --> 01:03:53,263
then we could still end up...
1692
01:03:53,330 --> 01:03:54,398
Together.
1693
01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,404
Anyway, whatever.
1694
01:04:00,470 --> 01:04:01,671
Blech!
1695
01:04:01,738 --> 01:04:03,173
Why were we talking about this?
1696
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:04,508
Um, you know,
1697
01:04:04,574 --> 01:04:06,543
he probably wouldn't even
remember the story,
1698
01:04:06,610 --> 01:04:07,777
never mind the boomerangs,
1699
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:09,146
and then there's me,
1700
01:04:09,213 --> 01:04:11,949
the romantic sap,
who still has hers.
1701
01:04:12,016 --> 01:04:13,783
Ahem. Framed.
1702
01:04:13,850 --> 01:04:14,985
In the bedroom.
1703
01:04:15,052 --> 01:04:16,887
Hm.
1704
01:04:16,954 --> 01:04:18,923
How stupid is that?
1705
01:04:20,524 --> 01:04:22,192
Not stupid.
1706
01:04:22,259 --> 01:04:24,328
It's just a waste of energy.
1707
01:04:24,394 --> 01:04:26,130
There's so many
other interesting guys
1708
01:04:26,196 --> 01:04:27,397
out there for you.
1709
01:04:27,464 --> 01:04:29,733
Joyce, you're gonna meet
the right person.
1710
01:04:29,799 --> 01:04:31,101
Watch.
1711
01:04:31,168 --> 01:04:33,904
Or I could end up with Derek.
1712
01:04:35,372 --> 01:04:36,640
Wouldn't that be funny?
1713
01:04:38,108 --> 01:04:41,111
Right now I'm not rushing
into anything or anyone.
1714
01:04:41,178 --> 01:04:43,480
Fool me once, shame on you.
1715
01:04:43,547 --> 01:04:44,814
Fool me twice...
1716
01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:45,916
Shame on me.
1717
01:04:45,983 --> 01:04:47,684
Exactly.
1718
01:04:47,751 --> 01:04:50,387
Something about the way
she believed she might get
1719
01:04:50,454 --> 01:04:53,557
him back made me believe it too.
1720
01:04:53,623 --> 01:04:58,662
Makes me feel sad For the rest
1721
01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:04,501
Nobody does it
1722
01:05:04,568 --> 01:05:09,539
Half as good as you
1723
01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:16,380
Baby, you're the best
1724
01:05:18,615 --> 01:05:21,918
I wasn't looking
1725
01:05:21,986 --> 01:05:24,989
But somehow you found me
1726
01:05:26,890 --> 01:05:33,897
I tried to hide
From your love light
1727
01:05:34,898 --> 01:05:38,935
But like heaven above me
1728
01:05:39,003 --> 01:05:42,006
This guy who loved me...
1729
01:05:43,540 --> 01:05:44,841
Thanks, pal.
1730
01:05:44,908 --> 01:05:49,813
Is keeping all my secrets
Safe tonight
1731
01:05:52,416 --> 01:05:55,485
Nobody does it better
1732
01:06:00,457 --> 01:06:06,163
Though sometimes
I wish someone could
1733
01:06:09,133 --> 01:06:13,703
Nobody does it
1734
01:06:13,770 --> 01:06:17,107
Quite the way you do
1735
01:06:18,742 --> 01:06:19,809
Why'd you have
1736
01:06:19,876 --> 01:06:22,512
To be so good?
1737
01:06:22,579 --> 01:06:23,880
Hey.
1738
01:06:25,149 --> 01:06:26,783
I'm home.
1739
01:06:26,850 --> 01:06:29,619
Hey, Bob, how you doing?
Come here, buddy. Come here.
1740
01:06:29,686 --> 01:06:31,655
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Hey.
1741
01:06:31,721 --> 01:06:32,889
Hey.
1742
01:06:32,956 --> 01:06:34,558
I heard you from downstairs.
1743
01:06:34,624 --> 01:06:35,725
You did?
Yeah.
1744
01:06:35,792 --> 01:06:37,894
Oh, yikes, was I that loud?
1745
01:06:37,961 --> 01:06:39,329
No, you sounded great.
1746
01:06:39,396 --> 01:06:41,065
Kind of sad, though.
Everything okay?
1747
01:06:41,131 --> 01:06:42,566
Yeah.
Hm?
1748
01:06:42,632 --> 01:06:45,969
You know, work issues,
but I'm fine.
1749
01:06:46,036 --> 01:06:47,504
You're home early.
1750
01:06:47,571 --> 01:06:49,406
Well, you say that
like that's a bad thing.
1751
01:06:49,473 --> 01:06:51,541
No! No, no, no, no, no.
1752
01:06:51,608 --> 01:06:53,743
I just didn't expect you,
that's all.
1753
01:06:57,647 --> 01:06:58,748
Mmm.
Mmm.
1754
01:06:58,815 --> 01:07:00,584
Mmm!
Mm!
1755
01:07:00,650 --> 01:07:02,686
What happened to the other guy?
1756
01:07:02,752 --> 01:07:04,588
A... mouse.
1757
01:07:05,889 --> 01:07:08,258
A mouse did this?
Yeah.
1758
01:07:08,325 --> 01:07:10,127
Uh, no.
1759
01:07:10,194 --> 01:07:13,197
There was a mouse, and, um...
1760
01:07:13,263 --> 01:07:15,299
You know, Bob freaked,
1761
01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:16,700
and, uh, forget about it.
1762
01:07:16,766 --> 01:07:18,068
A mouse scared Bob?
1763
01:07:18,135 --> 01:07:20,337
Went crazy.
You wouldn't believe it.
1764
01:07:20,404 --> 01:07:23,940
I mean, he chased him onto
the answering machine, where..
1765
01:07:24,007 --> 01:07:25,542
Where...
1766
01:07:25,609 --> 01:07:28,545
Where the mouse just, like,
taunted and taunted Bob.
1767
01:07:28,612 --> 01:07:30,147
So I ran and I got your stick.
1768
01:07:30,214 --> 01:07:32,316
Your hockey stick.
Oh, yeah.
1769
01:07:32,382 --> 01:07:33,383
And then just smashed it.
1770
01:07:33,450 --> 01:07:34,584
You smashed a mouse?
1771
01:07:34,651 --> 01:07:36,253
Yeah!
1772
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:37,587
No!
1773
01:07:37,654 --> 01:07:39,323
Like I would smash a mouse!
1774
01:07:39,389 --> 01:07:42,058
He got away,
but I scared him good.
1775
01:07:42,126 --> 01:07:44,027
I don't think he'll be
coming back anytime soon.
1776
01:07:44,094 --> 01:07:45,462
Did he carry my box down too?
1777
01:07:45,529 --> 01:07:47,931
Ha! That's very funny.
1778
01:07:47,997 --> 01:07:49,533
Yeah.
No.
1779
01:07:49,599 --> 01:07:50,934
I did.
1780
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:53,103
I was looking for another phone.
1781
01:07:53,170 --> 01:07:55,071
Which you found,
1782
01:07:55,139 --> 01:07:57,006
in a closed box
marked "personal stuff."
1783
01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:58,575
Um, no offense, Derek,
1784
01:07:58,642 --> 01:08:01,578
but you're not exactly
Mr. Organized.
1785
01:08:01,645 --> 01:08:03,046
You're a mess.
1786
01:08:03,113 --> 01:08:04,581
All right, all right.
1787
01:08:04,648 --> 01:08:06,316
Don't go criticizing homey.
Homey just got home.
1788
01:08:06,383 --> 01:08:08,218
Yo, I was
defending your dog, yo.
1789
01:08:08,285 --> 01:08:09,553
Well, thank you.
1790
01:08:09,619 --> 01:08:11,221
Who gets very sad
when you're away.
1791
01:08:11,288 --> 01:08:12,322
Hmm.
1792
01:08:12,389 --> 01:08:13,423
Very needy.
1793
01:08:13,490 --> 01:08:14,591
Oh, yeah?
1794
01:08:14,658 --> 01:08:15,725
He missed you.
1795
01:08:15,792 --> 01:08:17,194
He the only one?
1796
01:08:17,261 --> 01:08:19,429
No, Joyce missed you too Hmm.
1797
01:08:23,733 --> 01:08:25,502
So you want to know
why I'm home early?
1798
01:08:25,569 --> 01:08:27,437
I'm seeing Robbie Moore's
parents tomorrow.
1799
01:08:28,472 --> 01:08:29,739
That means you're close.
1800
01:08:29,806 --> 01:08:31,074
Bringing the contract.
1801
01:08:31,141 --> 01:08:33,143
Wait, wait.
Tomorrow's the playoffs.
1802
01:08:33,210 --> 01:08:34,844
Yeah.
You're not gonna go?
1803
01:08:34,911 --> 01:08:36,146
No.
1804
01:08:36,213 --> 01:08:37,381
If I don't close
this kid tomorrow,
1805
01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:39,048
Terry Curtin's gonna
swoop in and sign him.
1806
01:08:39,115 --> 01:08:40,650
I can't miss the opportunity.
1807
01:08:42,018 --> 01:08:44,053
You know what?
I'm doing this for both of us.
1808
01:08:46,089 --> 01:08:49,526
I'm sorry, Bob. All of us.
1809
01:08:49,593 --> 01:08:52,396
I felt like a lying sack of fertilizer,
1810
01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:55,565
knowing what I knew
and not knowing what I didn't,
1811
01:08:55,632 --> 01:09:00,270
and knowing more than anything
that I had to know... more.
1812
01:09:00,337 --> 01:09:03,640
She called all the time,
begging him, pleading.
1813
01:09:03,707 --> 01:09:04,941
Pathetic.
1814
01:09:05,008 --> 01:09:07,444
He played me the messages
on the machine.
1815
01:09:07,511 --> 01:09:11,215
They were hysterical.
She was desperate.
1816
01:09:11,281 --> 01:09:13,383
One angry chef, coming up.
1817
01:09:13,450 --> 01:09:15,118
I can't show her that.
1818
01:09:16,453 --> 01:09:18,722
I'd be purposely
hurting a friend.
1819
01:09:18,788 --> 01:09:22,492
Knowledge is a terrible
and a marvelous thing.
1820
01:09:22,559 --> 01:09:24,961
It just depends
on your perspective.
1821
01:09:25,028 --> 01:09:26,763
Think of it this way.
1822
01:09:26,830 --> 01:09:29,599
If she knew who you
really were, she'd hate you.
1823
01:09:29,666 --> 01:09:30,667
Can you blame her?
1824
01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:34,271
And Stace?
1825
01:09:35,739 --> 01:09:37,140
She's not your friend.
1826
01:09:48,585 --> 01:09:50,019
Have fun at the game.
1827
01:09:53,657 --> 01:09:55,158
O'er the land
1828
01:09:55,225 --> 01:09:59,062
Of the free
1829
01:09:59,128 --> 01:10:04,868
And the home of the brave
1830
01:10:04,934 --> 01:10:06,069
Hi.
1831
01:10:06,135 --> 01:10:07,271
I'm sorry I'm late.
1832
01:10:07,337 --> 01:10:09,138
I was in the middle
of a crisis with Derek.
1833
01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:10,374
I'm helping him out
with something.
1834
01:10:10,440 --> 01:10:12,008
Doesn't he have
someone else to help,
1835
01:10:12,075 --> 01:10:13,443
like a girlfriend?
1836
01:10:13,510 --> 01:10:14,544
Probably a bunch.
1837
01:10:14,611 --> 01:10:16,613
But... Ohh!
1838
01:10:18,081 --> 01:10:20,250
You know, we agreed
not to discuss anyone,
1839
01:10:20,317 --> 01:10:21,585
you know, who we date,
1840
01:10:21,651 --> 01:10:23,086
unless one of us was serious,
1841
01:10:23,152 --> 01:10:25,355
then we have to,
but he's not, and I'm not,
1842
01:10:25,422 --> 01:10:26,956
so why torture each other?
1843
01:10:27,023 --> 01:10:28,191
You know, it's just...
1844
01:10:28,258 --> 01:10:30,927
It's too painful
for both of us, you know?
1845
01:10:32,095 --> 01:10:33,363
Sorry. That's my cell.
1846
01:10:33,430 --> 01:10:34,898
Hello?
1847
01:10:34,964 --> 01:10:37,133
Hey.
I was just talking about you.
1848
01:10:37,200 --> 01:10:38,302
Derek.
1849
01:10:38,368 --> 01:10:39,369
Ah!
1850
01:10:39,436 --> 01:10:40,970
Um, uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1851
01:10:41,037 --> 01:10:42,872
So, what happened?
1852
01:10:42,939 --> 01:10:45,174
You might think it odd
that I didn't strangle her
1853
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:47,377
as I watched her flirt and coo
with my man.
1854
01:10:47,444 --> 01:10:50,280
But... I didn't.
1855
01:10:50,347 --> 01:10:52,782
I was strangely drawn
to their banter.
1856
01:10:52,849 --> 01:10:53,983
Really? Uh-huh.
1857
01:10:54,050 --> 01:10:55,852
Curious about
this part of his life
1858
01:10:55,919 --> 01:10:58,688
that I had been completely
dumb to just a
1859
01:10:58,755 --> 01:11:00,324
few days earlier
1860
01:11:00,390 --> 01:11:01,891
They had a past.
1861
01:11:01,958 --> 01:11:04,193
Oh, they scored. Listen.
They had a present...
1862
01:11:04,260 --> 01:11:05,695
separate from me.
1863
01:11:05,762 --> 01:11:06,996
Can you hear?
1864
01:11:07,063 --> 01:11:08,465
Whoo!
1865
01:11:08,532 --> 01:11:10,166
She didn't know
he had a girlfriend, but...
1866
01:11:10,233 --> 01:11:11,768
she didn't want to.
1867
01:11:13,169 --> 01:11:16,940
Suddenly,
I knew what I had to do.
1868
01:11:17,006 --> 01:11:18,608
Finally I asked him
1869
01:11:18,675 --> 01:11:20,276
to go back to
his old girlfriend.
1870
01:11:20,344 --> 01:11:22,912
She called all the time,
begging him, pleading.
1871
01:11:22,979 --> 01:11:25,615
She was desperate.
1872
01:11:25,682 --> 01:11:26,916
Joyce?
1873
01:11:26,983 --> 01:11:28,885
How'd you know her name?
1874
01:11:28,952 --> 01:11:30,687
- You mentioned it.
- She mentioned it.
1875
01:11:30,754 --> 01:11:31,921
- You did.
- She did.
1876
01:11:31,988 --> 01:11:34,324
I did? Hm.
1877
01:11:34,391 --> 01:11:36,526
Well, yes, Joyce.
1878
01:11:36,593 --> 01:11:39,796
He only went back to her
out of pity.
1879
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:45,469
Barb was right.
1880
01:11:45,535 --> 01:11:48,405
As soon as Joyce realized that
he'd lied to her about Lulu,
1881
01:11:48,472 --> 01:11:50,374
she'd never forgive him.
1882
01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:54,043
Which was, after all,
what I'd wanted.
1883
01:11:54,110 --> 01:11:56,713
So why did I feel so bad?
1884
01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:06,122
I shouldn't have shown you that.
1885
01:12:06,189 --> 01:12:08,692
No, I appreciate it.
Really.
1886
01:12:08,758 --> 01:12:11,127
It's just so... bad,
you know.
1887
01:12:11,194 --> 01:12:14,531
I probably did call him a few
times when he was with her,
1888
01:12:14,598 --> 01:12:16,065
but I was upset.
1889
01:12:16,132 --> 01:12:19,569
I wouldn't characterize It as
being hysterical or pathetic.
1890
01:12:19,636 --> 01:12:22,872
But for her to know
that I called
1891
01:12:22,939 --> 01:12:24,307
means that he told her.
1892
01:12:24,374 --> 01:12:25,942
Even if she didn't hear it,
she knew,
1893
01:12:26,009 --> 01:12:28,945
and that's just so bad.
1894
01:12:31,948 --> 01:12:33,583
Joyce, I'm sorry.
1895
01:12:36,420 --> 01:12:37,621
I'm so sorry.
1896
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:40,690
He's in there.
1897
01:12:40,757 --> 01:12:41,791
Where?
1898
01:12:43,226 --> 01:12:44,260
Right there,
1899
01:12:44,327 --> 01:12:46,663
with the orange sweater
1900
01:12:46,730 --> 01:12:48,064
and the stupid haircut.
1901
01:12:50,066 --> 01:12:51,801
It is stupid.
1902
01:12:54,237 --> 01:12:55,338
Yeah.
1903
01:12:55,405 --> 01:12:57,541
We stood there,
1904
01:12:57,607 --> 01:13:00,376
both of us sadly in love
with the same man.
1905
01:13:01,611 --> 01:13:03,980
Both of us
feeling let down by him.
1906
01:13:05,415 --> 01:13:06,650
Where are you going?
1907
01:13:06,716 --> 01:13:08,351
I'm going home.
1908
01:13:08,418 --> 01:13:10,219
I'll see you tomorrow
for the pre-interview, okay?
1909
01:13:10,286 --> 01:13:11,788
Good night, Barb.
1910
01:13:11,855 --> 01:13:13,389
Wait. Joyce?
1911
01:13:13,457 --> 01:13:14,791
Wait.
1912
01:13:14,858 --> 01:13:16,626
Please, wait.
1913
01:13:16,693 --> 01:13:19,262
Uh, that tape...
1914
01:13:19,328 --> 01:13:20,363
The Lulu...
1915
01:13:20,430 --> 01:13:22,098
You know what?
It's not about the tape.
1916
01:13:22,165 --> 01:13:24,434
It's just...
1917
01:13:24,501 --> 01:13:26,169
Talking to you lately
and seeing Lulu,
1918
01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:28,972
all that stuff just brought up
such bad memories.
1919
01:13:29,038 --> 01:13:31,207
And who am I trying to kid,
you know?
1920
01:13:31,274 --> 01:13:32,776
A clean break is easier.
1921
01:13:32,842 --> 01:13:36,045
You can reset it,
and it heals, and you move on.
1922
01:13:36,112 --> 01:13:39,048
But if you leave things messy
or things don't get put right,
1923
01:13:39,115 --> 01:13:41,017
then it just hurts.
1924
01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:42,619
Forever.
1925
01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:50,426
Yeah, I'm... all right.
1926
01:13:51,861 --> 01:13:55,098
It's really time
for me to move away from him.
1927
01:13:55,164 --> 01:13:56,633
From all this.
1928
01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:01,971
I don't even know
who he is anymore.
1929
01:14:13,717 --> 01:14:16,553
I should have felt happier at that moment.
1930
01:14:16,620 --> 01:14:18,988
I had won.
1931
01:14:19,055 --> 01:14:21,591
But the cost was high,
and the victory hollow.
1932
01:14:21,658 --> 01:14:25,228
I had taken a good friend
from someone I loved.
1933
01:14:25,294 --> 01:14:27,664
And nothing about that
felt right.
1934
01:14:27,731 --> 01:14:29,966
We have no secrets
1935
01:14:31,701 --> 01:14:36,339
We tell each other Everything
1936
01:14:36,405 --> 01:14:40,109
About the lovers In our past
1937
01:14:40,176 --> 01:14:41,711
I needed a reality check.
1938
01:14:41,778 --> 01:14:43,312
I needed Mom.
1939
01:14:43,379 --> 01:14:48,251
But she was out,
so I settled for Carly.
1940
01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:50,754
From A to Z
1941
01:14:50,820 --> 01:14:54,724
We know each other's Fantasies
1942
01:14:54,791 --> 01:14:59,262
And though
We know each other better
1943
01:14:59,328 --> 01:15:01,665
When we explore...
1944
01:15:01,731 --> 01:15:04,568
The line between right and wrong had blurred.
1945
01:15:04,634 --> 01:15:08,337
In my search for truth,
I had become the lie.
1946
01:15:08,404 --> 01:15:10,039
Often I wish
1947
01:15:10,106 --> 01:15:13,677
Perhaps some secrets should remain secret.
1948
01:15:13,743 --> 01:15:15,011
That I never knew
1949
01:15:15,078 --> 01:15:18,682
Some of those Secrets of yours
1950
01:15:18,748 --> 01:15:24,954
Some of those secrets Of yours
1951
01:15:25,021 --> 01:15:27,824
Okay, you guys are not
that bright.
1952
01:15:27,891 --> 01:15:29,593
- Can I have an amen?
- Amen!
1953
01:15:29,659 --> 01:15:31,828
Oh, my gosh. Oh, don't go...
1954
01:15:31,895 --> 01:15:34,764
Oh! Girl, mm-mm.
Don't go there.
1955
01:15:34,831 --> 01:15:36,099
Is everything okay?
1956
01:15:39,002 --> 01:15:40,403
Wow.
1957
01:15:43,172 --> 01:15:45,842
It's great. Yeah. Yeah.
1958
01:15:47,744 --> 01:15:49,312
That makes one of us.
1959
01:15:50,947 --> 01:15:51,948
What's the matter?
1960
01:15:52,015 --> 01:15:54,951
I'm not feeling so, uh...
1961
01:15:55,018 --> 01:15:56,119
you know, good.
1962
01:15:57,887 --> 01:15:59,455
You can't go home.
1963
01:15:59,522 --> 01:16:01,290
I mean, I need you.
1964
01:16:02,659 --> 01:16:03,793
Today's my show.
1965
01:16:03,860 --> 01:16:05,528
I'm a nervous wreck.
We're live.
1966
01:16:05,595 --> 01:16:07,964
Oh, my God!
I totally forgot.
1967
01:16:08,031 --> 01:16:09,332
Of course I'll be here.
1968
01:16:10,266 --> 01:16:12,702
Wouldn't miss it for the world.
1969
01:16:12,769 --> 01:16:16,139
You are so beautiful,
like a real producer.
1970
01:16:16,205 --> 01:16:19,408
Hello. Headset.
1971
01:16:19,475 --> 01:16:22,511
And there was something
I needed to tell you.
1972
01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:23,947
What was it?
Cue Kippie.
1973
01:16:24,013 --> 01:16:25,314
Oh, right.
We're live.
1974
01:16:25,381 --> 01:16:26,616
There she is!
1975
01:16:27,851 --> 01:16:29,452
Yikes!
Showtime.
1976
01:16:34,223 --> 01:16:35,224
Watch this thing.
1977
01:16:35,291 --> 01:16:37,226
Great to see you.
1978
01:16:37,293 --> 01:16:38,795
Hey!
1979
01:16:40,229 --> 01:16:41,998
Welcome to Kippie Kann Live.
1980
01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:43,066
Watch this ladder.
Thanks.
1981
01:16:43,132 --> 01:16:44,300
I need a running order.
1982
01:16:44,367 --> 01:16:45,902
A very special live show.
1983
01:16:45,969 --> 01:16:47,103
Who's on first?
You.
1984
01:16:47,170 --> 01:16:48,838
What?
It's for you.
1985
01:16:48,905 --> 01:16:50,073
What is?
Everything.
1986
01:16:52,508 --> 01:16:55,111
Let's see
who's at Kippie's door.
1987
01:16:55,178 --> 01:16:56,179
Just go with it.
1988
01:16:57,180 --> 01:17:00,984
Stacy! Oh, come on out!
1989
01:17:12,295 --> 01:17:14,097
- Stop at the green X.
- Too far.
1990
01:17:14,163 --> 01:17:15,765
That's right, Stacy.
1991
01:17:15,832 --> 01:17:17,400
Make yourself comfortable.
1992
01:17:18,501 --> 01:17:21,004
You look a little confused.
1993
01:17:21,070 --> 01:17:22,605
What's going on, girl?
1994
01:17:22,672 --> 01:17:24,540
Do you know what the name
of today's show is, Stacy?
1995
01:17:24,607 --> 01:17:27,176
"Plastic Surgery Nightmares"?
1996
01:17:27,243 --> 01:17:28,978
We're on three.
Stand by, camera two.
1997
01:17:30,246 --> 01:17:32,749
No, actually it's called
"Little Black Book."
1998
01:17:32,816 --> 01:17:35,651
Let's fill our audience in
on some recent history.
1999
01:17:35,719 --> 01:17:37,687
Stacy's a new member
of our staff
2000
01:17:37,754 --> 01:17:39,355
who's been using
the resources here
2001
01:17:39,422 --> 01:17:41,624
to do her own personal research
2002
01:17:41,691 --> 01:17:43,727
on her boyfriend, Derek...
2003
01:17:45,461 --> 01:17:47,697
...and three
of his ex-girlfriends.
2004
01:17:47,764 --> 01:17:49,733
Oh, no.
2005
01:17:49,799 --> 01:17:50,967
Oh, no.
2006
01:17:51,034 --> 01:17:52,736
Oh, yes.
2007
01:17:52,802 --> 01:17:55,839
She went through his
little black electronic book
2008
01:17:55,905 --> 01:17:57,974
found his ex-girlfriends,
I don't believe this.
2009
01:17:58,041 --> 01:17:59,508
called them up
and interviewed them
2010
01:17:59,575 --> 01:18:02,445
under the guise
of being a guest on our show.
2011
01:18:02,511 --> 01:18:03,947
That's my idea.
That's my idea.
2012
01:18:04,013 --> 01:18:05,314
Wow, man, too bad.
2013
01:18:05,381 --> 01:18:07,483
Barb's upstairs,
in case you want to kill her.
2014
01:18:09,452 --> 01:18:11,087
But not for the reasons
they thought.
2015
01:18:11,154 --> 01:18:14,257
Take, for example,
supermodel Lulu Fritz.
2016
01:18:14,323 --> 01:18:16,159
Simply irresistible
2017
01:18:19,262 --> 01:18:21,030
Hello! Bonjour.
2018
01:18:21,097 --> 01:18:22,365
Simply irresistible
2019
01:18:22,431 --> 01:18:24,333
Welcome to Kippie Kann Live.
2020
01:18:24,400 --> 01:18:27,670
You used us. You took my idea,
and you set her up.
2021
01:18:27,737 --> 01:18:29,638
Is this a clip from your documentary?
2022
01:18:29,705 --> 01:18:30,940
How can you just stand there?
2023
01:18:31,007 --> 01:18:32,575
Camera two, Phil.
You stole my idea!
2024
01:18:32,641 --> 01:18:34,210
- It's poetry.
- You stole it.
2025
01:18:34,277 --> 01:18:35,678
I'll share credit.
2026
01:18:35,745 --> 01:18:37,914
Ira, there's a bigger thing
happening here.
2027
01:18:37,981 --> 01:18:39,282
I mean, just watch. God!
2028
01:18:39,348 --> 01:18:40,950
Are you watching?
2029
01:18:41,017 --> 01:18:45,188
It was all superficial.
Completely about sex.
2030
01:18:45,254 --> 01:18:48,224
I'd have to say, "No, that's
not from my documentary."
2031
01:18:48,291 --> 01:18:50,393
That's right, Lulu.
2032
01:18:50,459 --> 01:18:52,228
It's all a ruse.
2033
01:18:52,295 --> 01:18:53,863
A flower?
2034
01:18:55,164 --> 01:18:56,866
A ruse. A joke.
2035
01:18:56,933 --> 01:18:58,534
How can you do this?
2036
01:18:58,601 --> 01:19:00,937
This woman, Stacy Holt,
a member of our staff,
2037
01:19:01,004 --> 01:19:03,907
got you here under
false pretenses.
2038
01:19:03,973 --> 01:19:05,408
Her name's Barbara.
2039
01:19:05,474 --> 01:19:08,477
No, the woman producing
this segment is Barbara.
2040
01:19:08,544 --> 01:19:10,780
The woman beside you is
actually the current
2041
01:19:10,847 --> 01:19:13,049
girlfriend of the man
you once dated.
2042
01:19:13,116 --> 01:19:14,317
Stephen?
2043
01:19:14,383 --> 01:19:15,952
Derek.
2044
01:19:16,019 --> 01:19:17,586
Camera five, doorbell.
2045
01:19:18,721 --> 01:19:20,589
Oh!
2046
01:19:20,656 --> 01:19:22,458
Another woman scorned,
2047
01:19:22,525 --> 01:19:24,160
and she doesn't
even know it yet.
2048
01:19:24,227 --> 01:19:26,095
Come in, Dr. Keyes!
2049
01:19:26,162 --> 01:19:28,164
Doctor, doctor, Give me the news
2050
01:19:28,231 --> 01:19:30,266
I've got a bad case...
2051
01:19:30,333 --> 01:19:34,203
Drama, pathos, life unfolding.
2052
01:19:34,270 --> 01:19:36,172
It's good.
It's Greek.
2053
01:19:36,239 --> 01:19:38,474
Go to three, Phil.
Camera three, go.
2054
01:19:38,541 --> 01:19:40,643
Dr. Keyes, you're a gynecologist.
2055
01:19:40,709 --> 01:19:42,778
This woman posed as a patient
2056
01:19:42,846 --> 01:19:45,614
to obtain personal information
on her boyfriend
2057
01:19:45,681 --> 01:19:47,250
whom you once dated.
2058
01:19:47,316 --> 01:19:49,252
But I examined her.
2059
01:19:50,987 --> 01:19:52,155
Well, that was all a setup.
2060
01:19:52,221 --> 01:19:54,023
Even the warts?
2061
01:19:54,090 --> 01:19:56,292
No, it was a joke.
There were none.
2062
01:19:56,359 --> 01:19:57,593
Ever.
2063
01:19:59,228 --> 01:20:02,832
Ah! The apex. Joyce.
2064
01:20:02,899 --> 01:20:05,301
She thinks she's doing
pre-interview for a cook-off.
2065
01:20:05,368 --> 01:20:08,004
That's what you told her,
right, Stace?
2066
01:20:08,071 --> 01:20:09,272
Come in, Joyce.
2067
01:20:09,338 --> 01:20:11,440
Bring home the bacon
2068
01:20:11,507 --> 01:20:13,877
Welcome to Kippie Kann Live.
2069
01:20:13,943 --> 01:20:15,644
Here comes the tough part.
2070
01:20:15,711 --> 01:20:17,380
You can do it.
2071
01:20:17,446 --> 01:20:19,048
Welcome.
2072
01:20:21,084 --> 01:20:23,419
What's with the audience
and all these...?
2073
01:20:23,486 --> 01:20:24,954
Lulu?
2074
01:20:25,021 --> 01:20:27,123
Oh, that's right.
2075
01:20:27,190 --> 01:20:29,758
You two go way back,
but what about you two?
2076
01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:31,427
Barb?
2077
01:20:31,494 --> 01:20:32,828
Stacy!
No, actually that's Stacy,
2078
01:20:32,896 --> 01:20:35,031
Derek's current girlfriend.
2079
01:20:35,098 --> 01:20:36,332
What?
2080
01:20:36,399 --> 01:20:37,967
Oh!
2081
01:20:38,034 --> 01:20:39,668
No cook-off today.
2082
01:20:43,139 --> 01:20:45,008
You lied to me?
2083
01:20:45,074 --> 01:20:47,877
After everything
I told you, you lied?
2084
01:20:47,944 --> 01:20:50,313
Just like she did.
2085
01:20:50,379 --> 01:20:51,915
Are you referring to me?
2086
01:20:51,981 --> 01:20:54,650
Shut up!
What did you say?!
2087
01:20:54,717 --> 01:20:57,220
Ladies, please.
2088
01:20:57,286 --> 01:20:58,888
Let's fill the audience in,
shall we?
2089
01:20:58,955 --> 01:21:02,558
We sent our own
Kippie Kann crew to the
2090
01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:05,461
Kaleidoscope Kitchen
posing as a crew for 48 Hours.
2091
01:21:05,528 --> 01:21:07,430
Then that was all a rose too?
2092
01:21:07,496 --> 01:21:09,265
Ruse, yeah. Roll it.
2093
01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:13,269
Why is she calling you Stacy, Barb?
2094
01:21:13,336 --> 01:21:14,938
Because that's her name.
2095
01:21:15,004 --> 01:21:17,640
No, actually, my name is Barb.
2096
01:21:17,706 --> 01:21:20,309
The other woman
you met's name was Stacy.
2097
01:21:20,376 --> 01:21:21,911
No, she was Barb.
2098
01:21:21,978 --> 01:21:23,579
- No.
- Huh?
2099
01:21:23,646 --> 01:21:25,414
- What?
- Stimulating as ever.
2100
01:21:25,481 --> 01:21:29,452
I'd say it's nice to see you,
but then I'd be lying.
2101
01:21:29,518 --> 01:21:31,520
Enjoy your meal.
2102
01:21:31,587 --> 01:21:32,688
Aha!
2103
01:21:32,755 --> 01:21:35,191
I got sick that night,
and not on purpose!
2104
01:21:35,258 --> 01:21:37,660
Stay put for more surprises
2105
01:21:37,726 --> 01:21:40,129
when "Little Black Book"
continues.
2106
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:43,666
- Hey, lady. Ladies.
- Stay in your seat.
2107
01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:45,534
Okay, we're still live.
2108
01:21:45,601 --> 01:21:47,570
I'm sorry...
2109
01:21:47,636 --> 01:21:50,106
Don't... Don't say another word.
2110
01:21:50,173 --> 01:21:51,674
You wanted me to hate him?
2111
01:21:51,740 --> 01:21:53,977
Mission accomplished. I do.
2112
01:21:54,043 --> 01:21:56,679
But as bad as he is...
2113
01:21:56,745 --> 01:21:59,815
he is still too good for you.
2114
01:21:59,882 --> 01:22:02,218
Now, if you could please just have a seat.
2115
01:22:02,285 --> 01:22:03,953
No, this is
completely unacceptable.
2116
01:22:04,020 --> 01:22:06,589
I will sue this entire show
for defamation of character.
2117
01:22:06,655 --> 01:22:09,625
This is America and you
are welcome to sue anyone.
2118
01:22:09,692 --> 01:22:11,227
But that release
you signed is ironclad.
2119
01:22:11,294 --> 01:22:14,863
I was told we'd be discussing
sexually transmitted diseases.
2120
01:22:14,930 --> 01:22:17,466
Sexually transmitted diseases?
2121
01:22:17,533 --> 01:22:20,436
Ooh, that's an idea.
2122
01:22:20,503 --> 01:22:21,837
Ninety seconds to air.
2123
01:22:21,904 --> 01:22:23,239
Ninety seconds!
2124
01:22:23,306 --> 01:22:24,940
I love it live.
2125
01:22:25,008 --> 01:22:28,044
You stoop to conquer.
Yeah, I stoop.
2126
01:22:28,111 --> 01:22:30,379
We all do. I mean,
look at where we work.
2127
01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:33,916
We march thousands of Stacys
through here every year.
2128
01:22:33,983 --> 01:22:36,986
We uncover their secrets,
we spare no feelings.
2129
01:22:37,053 --> 01:22:39,488
But today, suddenly,
you get a conscience
2130
01:22:39,555 --> 01:22:41,190
because you know one personally.
2131
01:22:41,257 --> 01:22:43,226
You're unethical!
You're a hypocrite.
2132
01:22:43,292 --> 01:22:45,161
I'm a hypocrite?!
Which is fine, really.
2133
01:22:45,228 --> 01:22:47,830
Because this show
is based on hypocrisy.
2134
01:22:47,896 --> 01:22:49,765
You wanna call me unethical?
Okay!
2135
01:22:49,832 --> 01:22:51,934
But don't you judge me
and then worship Kippie
2136
01:22:52,001 --> 01:22:54,070
for doing the same
duplicitous thing.
2137
01:22:54,137 --> 01:22:56,205
We're all swimming
in the same cesspool!
2138
01:22:56,272 --> 01:22:58,207
We work in reality TV, Ira!
2139
01:22:58,274 --> 01:22:59,608
This is reality!
2140
01:22:59,675 --> 01:23:02,078
Forty-five seconds to air, Phil.
2141
01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:03,379
She is a giver!
2142
01:23:03,446 --> 01:23:05,614
And she's such a giver,
that each one of you...
2143
01:23:05,681 --> 01:23:07,350
Ira?
2144
01:23:07,416 --> 01:23:10,519
...have a Kippie Kann Live cap
for each one of you.
2145
01:23:10,586 --> 01:23:11,654
Kippie's a giver!
2146
01:23:11,720 --> 01:23:13,422
I've gotta get to
the control room.
2147
01:23:13,489 --> 01:23:15,758
Carl, you wanna handle this?
Got it... Got it covered here.
2148
01:23:15,824 --> 01:23:17,393
Thanks.
You're all in on this?
2149
01:23:17,460 --> 01:23:18,761
Everyone knew?!
2150
01:23:18,827 --> 01:23:20,929
There is no conspiracy
here, sweetheart.
2151
01:23:20,996 --> 01:23:22,998
Just a good idea for sweeps.
2152
01:23:23,066 --> 01:23:25,101
Now, you can fight it...
It seems kind of pointless.
2153
01:23:25,168 --> 01:23:26,669
Lame. Really stupid.
2154
01:23:26,735 --> 01:23:29,038
Or you could become
a part of something bigger,
2155
01:23:29,105 --> 01:23:30,506
something completely different.
2156
01:23:30,573 --> 01:23:33,176
Now, of course,
I cannot "mmm" right now.
2157
01:23:33,242 --> 01:23:35,744
But trust me. Gonna be big.
Huge. It's giant.
2158
01:23:35,811 --> 01:23:38,947
I'm talking about
a real show here, Stacy.
2159
01:23:39,014 --> 01:23:41,284
Changing formats,
breaking the fourth wall,
2160
01:23:41,350 --> 01:23:42,685
and the fifth.
2161
01:23:42,751 --> 01:23:44,620
Kamikaze television,
2162
01:23:44,687 --> 01:23:46,155
without restriction,
without hesitation...
2163
01:23:46,222 --> 01:23:48,191
without Kippie.
2164
01:23:48,257 --> 01:23:51,960
It's a pretty exciting time
to be on the ground floor.
2165
01:23:52,027 --> 01:23:53,529
Thanks, Carl.
2166
01:23:53,596 --> 01:23:56,599
But being that low
doesn't interest me.
2167
01:23:56,665 --> 01:23:58,667
Don't fool yourself, kiddo.
2168
01:23:58,734 --> 01:24:01,604
What you did was lower than
anything I've ever done.
2169
01:24:01,670 --> 01:24:05,441
By the way, if you leave now,
I will sue you for fraud.
2170
01:24:05,508 --> 01:24:08,311
Oh, come on.
2171
01:24:08,377 --> 01:24:10,946
It's your 15 minutes.
It's not so bad.
2172
01:24:11,013 --> 01:24:14,217
It's my life!
It'll be over soon.
2173
01:24:14,283 --> 01:24:15,651
Here we go.
2174
01:24:15,718 --> 01:24:17,052
I meant the show.
2175
01:24:17,120 --> 01:24:21,224
Five, four, three, two...
2176
01:24:23,126 --> 01:24:26,929
Welcome back to Kippie Kann Live
2177
01:24:26,995 --> 01:24:28,631
and "Little Black Book."
2178
01:24:28,697 --> 01:24:31,234
I think it's time to bring out
the man of the hour.
2179
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:32,635
What do you say, audience?
2180
01:24:32,701 --> 01:24:34,036
Yeah!
2181
01:24:34,103 --> 01:24:35,771
Are you ready for Derek?
2182
01:24:35,838 --> 01:24:37,039
Oh, yeah!
2183
01:24:37,106 --> 01:24:38,541
Derek, Derek, Derek...
2184
01:24:38,607 --> 01:24:40,042
Roll scream, roll doorbell.
2185
01:24:43,246 --> 01:24:46,782
Derek, come on out!
2186
01:24:46,849 --> 01:24:49,118
Tainted love...
What the...?
2187
01:24:51,053 --> 01:24:53,256
Derek thought
he was coming to attend
2188
01:24:53,322 --> 01:24:55,658
a surprise promotion
party for Stacy.
2189
01:24:55,724 --> 01:24:57,526
Derek, you're in for it now!
2190
01:24:57,593 --> 01:24:58,861
Lulu?
2191
01:24:58,927 --> 01:25:00,596
Rachel? Joyce?
2192
01:25:00,663 --> 01:25:02,665
- What the hell's going on?
- Everybody's here.
2193
01:25:02,731 --> 01:25:04,099
What are you guys doing here?
2194
01:25:04,167 --> 01:25:06,802
- You can do it.
- Wanna tell him, Stace?
2195
01:25:06,869 --> 01:25:08,404
Or shall I?
2196
01:25:08,471 --> 01:25:09,805
Yes!
2197
01:25:13,809 --> 01:25:15,511
I wanna tell him.
2198
01:25:15,578 --> 01:25:17,513
I'll do it.
2199
01:25:18,747 --> 01:25:19,982
God.
2200
01:25:20,048 --> 01:25:22,551
What's going on?
2201
01:25:24,253 --> 01:25:26,822
they're all here because of me.
2202
01:25:26,889 --> 01:25:30,125
They're all here because of me.
2203
01:25:30,193 --> 01:25:32,261
See...
2204
01:25:32,328 --> 01:25:36,232
after I heard
about you and Lulu...
2205
01:25:36,299 --> 01:25:38,167
I interviewed her.
You did what?
2206
01:25:38,234 --> 01:25:42,004
You know! Look under the hood
first. She's Lulu Fritz!
2207
01:25:42,070 --> 01:25:43,572
Thank you.
2208
01:25:45,208 --> 01:25:47,676
Anyways, when we got around
to the sex question...
2209
01:25:47,743 --> 01:25:49,245
What a minute.
You're not serious.
2210
01:25:49,312 --> 01:25:52,515
She said that you guys did it
like two, three times a day.
2211
01:25:52,581 --> 01:25:54,116
Whoo!
2212
01:25:54,183 --> 01:25:56,685
It's funny, huh? I mean,
why would she lie like that?
2213
01:25:56,752 --> 01:25:59,121
What are you doing?
Purging.
2214
01:25:59,188 --> 01:26:00,489
You can go next.
2215
01:26:00,556 --> 01:26:02,090
Then I went to Rachel.
2216
01:26:02,157 --> 01:26:04,493
I mean, I wanted to
go straight to Joyce,
2217
01:26:04,560 --> 01:26:05,694
but I couldn't.
Not right away.
2218
01:26:05,761 --> 01:26:07,896
So I made up
this story about warts
2219
01:26:07,963 --> 01:26:11,066
and went to Rachel, who
I thought was a podiatrist.
2220
01:26:11,133 --> 01:26:13,436
But it turns out,
oops, joke's on me.
2221
01:26:13,502 --> 01:26:14,803
Okay, you know what?
2222
01:26:14,870 --> 01:26:16,205
You can just shut
the cameras off,
2223
01:26:16,272 --> 01:26:17,406
because this is never gonna air.
2224
01:26:17,473 --> 01:26:20,509
We're live...
in 70 markets.
2225
01:26:21,610 --> 01:26:22,878
Hi, Mom.
2226
01:26:24,813 --> 01:26:26,349
Then Barb and I were
browsing your Palm.
2227
01:26:26,415 --> 01:26:27,516
Barb who?
2228
01:26:27,583 --> 01:26:29,452
Barbara Campbell-hyphen-Dunn,
2229
01:26:29,518 --> 01:26:32,621
who sold me out for this show.
2230
01:26:32,688 --> 01:26:35,658
Just like Carl's
selling Kippie out.
2231
01:26:35,724 --> 01:26:37,893
I mean, at least,
isn't that what you told me?
2232
01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:40,463
Yes, yes, that's it.
Turn the tables on us all.
2233
01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:41,997
That's real. It's honest.
Phillip.
2234
01:26:42,064 --> 01:26:43,899
Yeah?
Get Carl.
2235
01:26:43,966 --> 01:26:46,669
Jay, get me...
Get me a shot to Carl.
2236
01:26:46,735 --> 01:26:48,904
What is she doing?
What are you doing?
2237
01:26:48,971 --> 01:26:50,205
Regurgitating.
2238
01:26:50,273 --> 01:26:52,174
Something sexy
just for you, Carl.
2239
01:26:52,241 --> 01:26:55,344
Who's Carl?
Stage left, crooked toupee.
2240
01:26:55,411 --> 01:26:58,046
- Phillip, on four.
- Camera four, go.
2241
01:27:00,015 --> 01:27:01,517
Get that camera off of me.
2242
01:27:01,584 --> 01:27:04,553
Phil?
We can't do this to him.
2243
01:27:04,620 --> 01:27:06,922
You hold that shot. Split the
screen. Split the screen, Phil
2244
01:27:06,989 --> 01:27:09,057
Good.
Kippie, did you know
2245
01:27:09,124 --> 01:27:10,526
that sometimes Carl
comes in really close
2246
01:27:10,593 --> 01:27:12,094
so that America can see
2247
01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:14,930
that tape you wear on your
face right there? Mm-hm.
2248
01:27:14,997 --> 01:27:17,333
Then he edits it out of
the copy he gives to you.
2249
01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:19,402
Back to Carl now.
And those tabloid leaks? Well.
2250
01:27:19,468 --> 01:27:21,604
Nice. Really nice.
2251
01:27:21,670 --> 01:27:23,439
You're burying Carl.
2252
01:27:24,707 --> 01:27:26,309
I'm burying him.
2253
01:27:26,375 --> 01:27:30,979
Carl, you, me,
we're all going down.
2254
01:27:32,247 --> 01:27:33,882
Go to commercial.
2255
01:27:33,949 --> 01:27:35,518
No commercial!
2256
01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:37,219
I'm still running things.
Stay with me, Phil!
2257
01:27:39,822 --> 01:27:41,424
Not you. You'll get promoted.
2258
01:27:43,392 --> 01:27:44,860
I'm out of here.
2259
01:27:44,927 --> 01:27:46,662
I can't top this.
2260
01:27:46,729 --> 01:27:48,797
Anyway, Barb and I were playing
2261
01:27:48,864 --> 01:27:50,866
with your Palm
and we stumbled across
2262
01:27:50,933 --> 01:27:52,868
a lovely montage of Joyce.
2263
01:27:52,935 --> 01:27:54,470
And your folks.
2264
01:27:54,537 --> 01:27:56,939
On holiday.
2265
01:27:57,005 --> 01:28:00,075
Which is really odd because
you never bring girls home.
2266
01:28:00,142 --> 01:28:01,276
I don't!
2267
01:28:01,344 --> 01:28:02,645
You brought her.
2268
01:28:02,711 --> 01:28:05,348
Well... She's different.
2269
01:28:05,414 --> 01:28:07,383
Oh...
2270
01:28:07,450 --> 01:28:09,952
Why?
2271
01:28:10,018 --> 01:28:11,454
Yeah, man.
2272
01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:13,356
Yeah, why?!
2273
01:28:13,422 --> 01:28:15,658
- Tell us!
- Tell her.
2274
01:28:15,724 --> 01:28:17,660
You know what?
I'm not doing this.
2275
01:28:18,861 --> 01:28:20,262
Why?
2276
01:28:20,329 --> 01:28:21,697
You wanna get out of my way?
2277
01:28:21,764 --> 01:28:23,366
Is she better?
For you?
2278
01:28:27,470 --> 01:28:28,937
Ha!
2279
01:28:30,606 --> 01:28:32,307
I guess so.
2280
01:28:33,609 --> 01:28:37,513
Maybe I always knew it.
2281
01:28:37,580 --> 01:28:40,383
Maybe that's why
I had to meet her.
2282
01:28:40,449 --> 01:28:43,586
And when I did, I understood,
because I liked her too.
2283
01:28:43,652 --> 01:28:45,621
I liked you so much.
2284
01:28:45,688 --> 01:28:48,491
I want you to know that. Not...
Not in a weird kind of way.
2285
01:28:48,557 --> 01:28:49,925
But in a way that I thought,
2286
01:28:49,992 --> 01:28:53,228
"Maybe, in some alternate
universe, we could be friends.
2287
01:28:53,295 --> 01:28:54,930
And then, yesterday, you told me
2288
01:28:54,997 --> 01:28:56,432
you were schmoozing up
some new recruit.
2289
01:28:56,499 --> 01:28:58,367
And the whole time
you're schmoozing up Joyce?
2290
01:28:58,434 --> 01:29:01,003
No! Joyce's brother!
2291
01:29:01,069 --> 01:29:03,906
Robbie Moore, the recruit.
It's Joyce's brother!
2292
01:29:03,972 --> 01:29:07,009
Joyce hooked us up because
she's trying to help me out.
2293
01:29:07,075 --> 01:29:10,513
Then why wouldn't you have
just told me that straight up?
2294
01:29:10,579 --> 01:29:12,581
Why lie?
I never lied to you!
2295
01:29:15,418 --> 01:29:17,252
Omission is betrayal.
2296
01:29:17,319 --> 01:29:19,622
- Yes!
- Oh, okay.
2297
01:29:19,688 --> 01:29:21,390
Now you're gonna tell
me about betrayal?
2298
01:29:21,457 --> 01:29:22,791
What the hell do you call this?
2299
01:29:22,858 --> 01:29:26,061
I would never do this
to you... ever!
2300
01:29:26,128 --> 01:29:27,763
No?
2301
01:29:29,097 --> 01:29:30,799
Then answer me this.
2302
01:29:32,735 --> 01:29:35,738
If we shared
our lives together...
2303
01:29:37,606 --> 01:29:40,008
why didn't we share our lives?
2304
01:29:40,075 --> 01:29:43,812
You shouldn't have to tell
me everything, Derek.
2305
01:29:43,879 --> 01:29:45,848
But why wouldn't you want to?
2306
01:29:47,583 --> 01:29:50,052
Unless there's somebody else
you're waiting for.
2307
01:29:50,118 --> 01:29:55,357
Someone who isn't afraid to say
2308
01:29:55,424 --> 01:29:57,059
"The past isn't past, Derek.
"Or, "I really wanna meet
2309
01:29:57,125 --> 01:30:00,328
your folks Or, "I really,
really hate hockey."
2310
01:30:01,597 --> 01:30:02,898
You do?
2311
01:30:02,965 --> 01:30:05,934
Oh, to the bottom of the ninth.
2312
01:30:07,536 --> 01:30:09,438
That's, uh... That's baseball.
2313
01:30:09,505 --> 01:30:11,139
Okay. You see that?
2314
01:30:11,206 --> 01:30:15,911
I was just too afraid to be
honest with you, with myself,
2315
01:30:15,978 --> 01:30:18,447
because...
2316
01:30:21,684 --> 01:30:23,686
if I was really honest,
2317
01:30:23,752 --> 01:30:27,089
gut-wrenching honest...
2318
01:30:28,824 --> 01:30:32,294
then I'd have to admit...
2319
01:30:33,896 --> 01:30:39,301
that... we weren't right
the way you guys are.
2320
01:30:39,367 --> 01:30:41,036
Were we?
2321
01:30:53,248 --> 01:30:55,651
There's your show, Kippie.
2322
01:30:55,718 --> 01:30:59,221
"My Boyfriend Belongs
With His Ex,
2323
01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:02,525
and I Just Figured It Out."
2324
01:31:06,662 --> 01:31:08,964
Sue me, Carl!
2325
01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:14,169
Listen.
2326
01:31:14,236 --> 01:31:17,105
I'm fully aware that you may
never speak to me again.
2327
01:31:17,172 --> 01:31:19,407
And I understand. I do.
2328
01:31:19,474 --> 01:31:21,677
But before you leave,
I want you to know
2329
01:31:21,744 --> 01:31:23,178
that this thing,
this whole idea,
2330
01:31:23,245 --> 01:31:25,280
wasn't planned out,
it was not premeditated.
2331
01:31:25,347 --> 01:31:27,382
It presented itself.
2332
01:31:27,449 --> 01:31:32,087
And then I guided it
into this... event.
2333
01:31:32,154 --> 01:31:34,590
Now, granted, it was dramatic,
it was extreme...
2334
01:31:35,891 --> 01:31:37,626
but you dove
2335
01:31:37,693 --> 01:31:39,027
head-on into the muck
2336
01:31:39,094 --> 01:31:42,097
and came out with
this masterpiece.
2337
01:31:43,532 --> 01:31:46,034
And I hope, one day,
you can understand...
2338
01:31:48,604 --> 01:31:51,073
that you got
what you wanted, Stace.
2339
01:31:51,139 --> 01:31:53,542
Your life back.
2340
01:31:55,744 --> 01:31:58,647
I should tear your eyes out
right now.
2341
01:32:00,916 --> 01:32:03,986
But how will you ever be able
2342
01:32:04,052 --> 01:32:06,354
to look at yourself
in the morning?
2343
01:32:10,225 --> 01:32:11,594
Oops.
2344
01:32:15,263 --> 01:32:17,299
Looks like we have an audience.
2345
01:32:21,203 --> 01:32:22,605
Stay put.
2346
01:32:22,671 --> 01:32:24,707
Kippie Kann Live
and "Little Black Book"
2347
01:32:24,773 --> 01:32:27,576
will be back after these words.
2348
01:32:39,554 --> 01:32:41,924
Move it, will ya?!
2349
01:32:41,990 --> 01:32:43,659
The question:
2350
01:32:43,726 --> 01:32:46,494
How does a girl
who jumps into a rabbit hole,
2351
01:32:46,561 --> 01:32:48,330
plummeting into chaos,
2352
01:32:48,396 --> 01:32:49,832
come out unchanged?
2353
01:32:49,898 --> 01:32:51,634
The answer?
2354
01:32:51,700 --> 01:32:53,736
She doesn't.
2355
01:33:11,519 --> 01:33:14,456
No, you can't be closed now!
2356
01:33:14,522 --> 01:33:15,891
Oh.
2357
01:33:19,427 --> 01:33:20,929
Stacy?
2358
01:33:22,064 --> 01:33:24,667
Stacy Holt?
It's Bean.
2359
01:33:24,733 --> 01:33:27,335
King. Bean King
from college.
2360
01:33:27,402 --> 01:33:28,937
Bean?
2361
01:33:29,004 --> 01:33:31,373
Bean, what are you doing here?
2362
01:33:31,439 --> 01:33:34,309
Uh, inventory.
We... We just finished.
2363
01:33:34,376 --> 01:33:36,679
Bean There is yours?
2364
01:33:36,745 --> 01:33:38,146
Yeah.
The coffee place?
2365
01:33:38,213 --> 01:33:40,382
I come here all the time.
Of course it's yours.
2366
01:33:40,448 --> 01:33:42,284
Wow.
2367
01:33:42,350 --> 01:33:45,320
This all makes sense
in some cosmic way.
2368
01:33:45,387 --> 01:33:46,789
Ha!
2369
01:33:47,890 --> 01:33:50,425
I get it! I get it.
2370
01:33:51,794 --> 01:33:54,830
This must sound crazy to you.
2371
01:33:56,431 --> 01:33:58,000
It's just...
2372
01:33:59,902 --> 01:34:03,706
I have spent a lifetime
preparing for a lifetime
2373
01:34:03,772 --> 01:34:08,643
and I was beginning to think
it all went wrong somehow.
2374
01:34:08,711 --> 01:34:12,815
But maybe you're
the reason, Bean.
2375
01:34:12,881 --> 01:34:14,349
For...?
2376
01:34:14,416 --> 01:34:15,818
Everything.
2377
01:34:15,884 --> 01:34:19,955
Maybe you're the plan
I was supposed to hang on to.
2378
01:34:20,022 --> 01:34:22,390
Bean?
2379
01:34:22,457 --> 01:34:25,260
The 8:00 was sold out.
Should I try the 10:20?
2380
01:34:25,327 --> 01:34:27,295
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, sure, honey.
2381
01:34:27,362 --> 01:34:28,797
I'll be right there.
2382
01:34:30,298 --> 01:34:31,633
Um, that's my wife.
2383
01:34:31,700 --> 01:34:33,736
Colleen.
2384
01:34:33,802 --> 01:34:35,570
You should come meet her.
2385
01:34:35,637 --> 01:34:38,073
Love to.
2386
01:34:38,140 --> 01:34:41,443
But I just gotta go jump
in the river now.
2387
01:34:41,509 --> 01:34:43,511
Oh, hey, come on, now.
2388
01:34:46,281 --> 01:34:51,319
Every plan I had for my life
went so unbelievably wrong.
2389
01:34:52,554 --> 01:34:54,456
John Lennon said,
2390
01:34:54,522 --> 01:34:57,059
"Life happens when you're busy
making other plans."
2391
01:34:57,125 --> 01:34:59,294
Then he got shot.
Right.
2392
01:34:59,361 --> 01:35:01,063
You just gotta live.
2393
01:35:01,129 --> 01:35:03,799
Stop planning your moves.
Let them happen.
2394
01:35:03,866 --> 01:35:05,901
I mean, you might be surprised.
2395
01:35:07,635 --> 01:35:10,005
Do you believe
in happy endings, Bean?
2396
01:35:12,607 --> 01:35:15,543
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
2397
01:35:15,610 --> 01:35:17,345
How...? How about you?
2398
01:35:17,412 --> 01:35:19,314
I do.
2399
01:35:20,783 --> 01:35:22,517
Isn't that funny?
2400
01:35:22,584 --> 01:35:25,053
I still do, with all my heart.
2401
01:35:26,789 --> 01:35:29,657
Even when the girl doesn't
get the guy in the end.
2402
01:35:29,724 --> 01:35:33,661
Or, in my case, both guys.
2403
01:35:36,999 --> 01:35:39,935
Well, that's amazing.
Congratulations.
2404
01:35:40,002 --> 01:35:41,003
Thanks.
2405
01:35:42,637 --> 01:35:45,874
You go find your happy ending,
Stacy Holt.
2406
01:35:48,610 --> 01:35:53,015
And, uh, thanks
for the continuing patronage.
2407
01:36:06,962 --> 01:36:09,998
By fall, I was ready to try again.
2408
01:36:10,065 --> 01:36:13,301
A little bruised,
a little humbled,
2409
01:36:13,368 --> 01:36:15,470
and, hopefully,
a little smarter.
2410
01:36:17,840 --> 01:36:20,042
I believe we write
our own stories.
2411
01:36:20,108 --> 01:36:22,978
And each time we think
we know the end...
2412
01:36:24,479 --> 01:36:26,014
we don't.
2413
01:36:26,081 --> 01:36:30,185
Perhaps luck exists somewhere
between the world of planning,
2414
01:36:30,252 --> 01:36:32,054
the world of chance,
2415
01:36:32,120 --> 01:36:34,089
and in the peace
that comes from knowing
2416
01:36:34,156 --> 01:36:36,224
that you just can't know it all.
2417
01:36:38,894 --> 01:36:40,395
You know, life's funny that way.
2418
01:36:40,462 --> 01:36:43,131
Once you look over the wheel,
2419
01:36:43,198 --> 01:36:45,868
you might end up...
2420
01:36:45,934 --> 01:36:48,003
right where you belong.
2421
01:36:50,572 --> 01:36:53,541
Wow, that is
such an amazing story.
2422
01:36:53,608 --> 01:36:55,710
I mean, you went
through all of that
2423
01:36:55,777 --> 01:36:57,745
and here you are.
2424
01:36:59,681 --> 01:37:02,017
I can do this job, Jane.
2425
01:37:02,084 --> 01:37:04,652
I've been preparing
my whole life.
2426
01:37:04,719 --> 01:37:07,489
It's too bad Diane's gone.
2427
01:37:08,857 --> 01:37:10,258
She is?
2428
01:37:10,325 --> 01:37:11,459
On assignment.
2429
01:37:11,526 --> 01:37:12,895
She'll be back next week.
2430
01:37:12,961 --> 01:37:14,362
Oh.
2431
01:37:14,429 --> 01:37:17,832
But... before she left,
2432
01:37:17,900 --> 01:37:20,235
she told me, "If you find
someone great for this job,
2433
01:37:20,302 --> 01:37:23,371
"I mean, perfect,
2434
01:37:23,438 --> 01:37:25,807
don't let them go."
2435
01:37:27,242 --> 01:37:28,877
Welcome aboard, Stacy.
2436
01:37:28,944 --> 01:37:30,378
You mean...?
2437
01:37:30,445 --> 01:37:32,614
I got the job?
2438
01:37:32,680 --> 01:37:33,882
You got the job.
2439
01:37:35,817 --> 01:37:37,152
Congratulations.
2440
01:37:37,219 --> 01:37:40,255
Stay here. I'll go check
Diane's calendar.
2441
01:37:40,322 --> 01:37:42,190
Thank you.
2442
01:38:00,708 --> 01:38:02,377
Hello, Mama.
2443
01:38:02,444 --> 01:38:03,811
I got the job!
2444
01:38:03,878 --> 01:38:05,480
You got the job!
2445
01:38:05,547 --> 01:38:07,382
You got the job!
She got the job!
2446
01:38:07,449 --> 01:38:09,384
I got the job! I got the job!
2447
01:38:09,451 --> 01:38:11,286
She got the job!
2448
01:38:11,353 --> 01:38:13,288
It's amazing, amazing, amazing!
2449
01:38:13,355 --> 01:38:14,722
I knew it! I knew it!
2450
01:38:14,789 --> 01:38:16,158
What could be better than this?
2451
01:38:16,224 --> 01:38:18,326
I mean, Mama,
what could be better?
2452
01:38:19,527 --> 01:38:21,029
Are you Jane?
2453
01:38:22,564 --> 01:38:25,733
I'm Carly Simon.
I'm here for the pre-tape.
2454
01:38:28,036 --> 01:38:29,571
Jane!
2455
01:38:29,637 --> 01:38:31,473
Jane? Jane?!
2456
01:38:31,539 --> 01:38:33,008
Jane, are you okay?
2457
01:38:33,075 --> 01:38:34,676
- Are you okay?
- Hello? Stacy?
2458
01:38:34,742 --> 01:38:36,111
Honey?
2459
01:38:36,178 --> 01:38:37,512
Honey, are you there?
2460
01:38:37,579 --> 01:38:38,813
Hello?
2461
01:38:38,880 --> 01:38:40,315
Hi, I've just come
into the studio
2462
01:38:40,382 --> 01:38:41,984
and I think your friend fainted.
2463
01:38:42,050 --> 01:38:43,518
She fainted?
Oh, my God.
2464
01:38:43,585 --> 01:38:46,054
Who is this?
My name is Carly Simon.
2465
01:38:46,121 --> 01:38:48,490
I'm just here to meet with Jane.
2466
01:38:48,556 --> 01:38:49,924
Oh.
2467
01:38:49,992 --> 01:38:51,059
And I, uh...
2468
01:38:51,126 --> 01:38:52,660
Oh, I think
she's coming round again,
2469
01:38:52,727 --> 01:38:54,329
so I'm gonna give her the phone.
2470
01:38:55,430 --> 01:38:56,564
Hello?
2471
01:38:56,631 --> 01:38:58,166
Mama?
2472
01:38:58,233 --> 01:39:00,702
Hmm, gone.
2473
01:39:00,768 --> 01:39:02,670
Are you really Carly Simon?
2474
01:39:02,737 --> 01:39:04,372
Yeah, yeah, I just... I can't...
2475
01:39:04,439 --> 01:39:06,008
I can't believe this.
2476
01:39:06,074 --> 01:39:07,909
You just really made my life.
Are you really Jane?
2477
01:39:07,976 --> 01:39:10,545
My name is Stacy Holt.
Stacy.
2478
01:39:10,612 --> 01:39:13,781
I just got a job here. Please
don't tell Diane that I fainted
2479
01:39:13,848 --> 01:39:15,850
You really are Carly Simon?
You really are okay?
2480
01:39:15,917 --> 01:39:17,785
This is the most...
Yes, thank you!
2481
01:39:17,852 --> 01:39:21,056
I'm so mortified! I hug people
when I'm embarrassed.
2482
01:39:21,123 --> 01:39:22,790
This is... So do I.
2483
01:39:22,857 --> 01:39:24,692
I'm so nervous.
I do exactly the same thing!
2484
01:39:24,759 --> 01:39:26,561
I think this is just about
the greatest day
2485
01:39:26,628 --> 01:39:27,962
of my whole entire life.
2486
01:39:28,030 --> 01:39:30,165
Thank you.
Thank you so much!
2487
01:39:30,232 --> 01:39:32,167
I love you!
2488
01:39:32,234 --> 01:39:35,203
♪ Let the river run ♪
2489
01:39:35,270 --> 01:39:36,804
♪ Let the river run ♪
2490
01:39:36,871 --> 01:39:38,440
♪ Let all the dreamers ♪
2491
01:39:38,506 --> 01:39:39,974
♪ Let all the dreamers ♪
2492
01:39:40,042 --> 01:39:41,343
♪ Wake the nation ♪
2493
01:39:41,409 --> 01:39:43,178
♪ Wake the nation ♪
2494
01:39:43,245 --> 01:39:44,612
♪ Come ♪
2495
01:39:44,679 --> 01:39:50,685
♪ The New Jerusalem ♪
2496
01:40:02,964 --> 01:40:05,233
♪ Why'd you tell me this? ♪
2497
01:40:05,300 --> 01:40:11,039
♪ Were you looking ♪
♪ For my reaction? ♪
2498
01:40:11,106 --> 01:40:14,176
♪ What do you need to know? ♪
2499
01:40:14,242 --> 01:40:19,013
♪ Don't you know ♪
♪ I'll always be your girl? ♪
2500
01:40:20,482 --> 01:40:23,218
♪ You don't have to prove To me ♪
2501
01:40:23,285 --> 01:40:27,889
♪ You're beautiful To strangers ♪
2502
01:40:27,955 --> 01:40:33,095
♪ I've got loving eyes ♪
2503
01:40:34,262 --> 01:40:37,965
♪ Of my own ♪
2504
01:40:38,032 --> 01:40:40,034
♪ You belong to me ♪
2505
01:40:40,102 --> 01:40:43,105
♪ Tell her, tell her ♪
♪ You were foolin' ♪
2506
01:40:43,171 --> 01:40:45,307
♪ You belong to me ♪
2507
01:40:45,373 --> 01:40:46,774
♪ You don't even know her ♪
2508
01:40:46,841 --> 01:40:49,144
♪ You belong to me ♪
2509
01:40:49,211 --> 01:40:51,446
♪ Tell her that I love you ♪
2510
01:40:51,513 --> 01:40:54,516
♪ You belong to me ♪
2511
01:40:55,917 --> 01:40:59,087
♪ You belong to me ♪
2512
01:40:59,154 --> 01:41:00,522
♪ Can it be, honey ♪
2513
01:41:00,588 --> 01:41:03,925
♪ That you're not sure? ♪
2514
01:41:05,127 --> 01:41:07,162
♪ You belong to me ♪
2515
01:41:07,229 --> 01:41:09,497
♪ Thought we'd closed the book ♪
2516
01:41:09,564 --> 01:41:13,701
♪ Locked the door ♪
2517
01:41:13,768 --> 01:41:16,070
♪ You don't have to prove To me ♪
2518
01:41:16,138 --> 01:41:21,176
♪ That you're beautiful ♪
♪ To strangers ♪
2519
01:41:21,243 --> 01:41:24,045
♪ I've got loving eyes ♪
2520
01:41:24,112 --> 01:41:27,549
♪ Of my own, of my own ♪
2521
01:41:27,615 --> 01:41:31,319
♪ And I can tell, ♪
♪ I can tell, darling ♪
2522
01:41:31,386 --> 01:41:33,721
♪ Tell her ♪
2523
01:41:33,788 --> 01:41:35,790
♪ You belong to me ♪
2524
01:41:35,857 --> 01:41:38,059
♪ Tell her that I love you ♪
2525
01:41:38,126 --> 01:41:39,694
♪ You belong to me ♪
2526
01:41:39,761 --> 01:41:42,264
♪ You belong, you belong, ♪
♪ You belong to me ♪
2527
01:41:42,330 --> 01:41:43,731
♪ You belong to me ♪
2528
01:41:43,798 --> 01:41:46,301
♪ Tell her you were foolin' ♪
2529
01:41:46,368 --> 01:41:48,970
♪ You belong to me ♪
2530
01:41:49,036 --> 01:41:51,539
♪ Tell her She don't even know you ♪
2531
01:42:08,456 --> 01:42:09,957
♪ Tell her ♪
2532
01:42:10,024 --> 01:42:12,026
♪ You belong to me ♪
2533
01:42:12,093 --> 01:42:14,162
♪ Tell her you were foolin' ♪
2534
01:42:14,229 --> 01:42:15,763
♪ You belong to me ♪
2535
01:42:15,830 --> 01:42:18,500
♪ I've known you ♪
♪ From a long time ago, baby ♪
2536
01:42:18,566 --> 01:42:20,101
♪ You belong to me ♪
2537
01:42:20,168 --> 01:42:22,837
♪ Don't leave me To go to her now ♪
2538
01:42:22,904 --> 01:42:24,939
♪ You belong to me ♪
2539
01:42:27,141 --> 01:42:29,177
♪ You belong to me ♪
2540
01:42:31,413 --> 01:42:33,114
♪ You belong to me ♪
2541
01:42:33,181 --> 01:42:35,417
♪ Baby, I really love you ♪
2542
01:42:35,483 --> 01:42:36,918
♪ You belong to me ♪
2543
01:42:36,984 --> 01:42:40,488
♪ Tell her, tell her ♪
♪ Tell her she don't know you ♪
2544
01:42:40,555 --> 01:42:42,257
♪ You belong to me ♪
2545
01:42:42,324 --> 01:42:44,726
♪ You belong to me ♪
2546
01:42:44,792 --> 01:42:46,328
♪ You belong to me ♪
2547
01:42:48,563 --> 01:42:50,732
♪ You belong to me ♪
2548
01:42:50,798 --> 01:42:53,167
♪ 'Cause you belong to me ♪
2549
01:42:53,235 --> 01:42:55,403
♪ You belong to me ♪
2550
01:42:57,572 --> 01:42:59,374
♪ You belong to me ♪
2551
01:42:59,441 --> 01:43:00,575
♪ You belong ♪
2552
01:43:00,642 --> 01:43:02,109
♪ You belong, you belong to me ♪
2553
01:43:02,176 --> 01:43:03,511
♪ You belong to me ♪
2554
01:43:03,578 --> 01:43:04,579
♪ Oh ♪
2555
01:43:04,646 --> 01:43:06,047
♪ Oh, babe ♪
2556
01:43:06,113 --> 01:43:07,815
♪ You belong to me ♪
2557
01:43:07,882 --> 01:43:10,585
♪ You belong, you belong ♪
♪ You belong to me ♪
2558
01:43:10,652 --> 01:43:11,986
♪ You belong to me ♪
2559
01:43:12,053 --> 01:43:13,755
♪ Oh, oh, no ♪
2560
01:43:13,821 --> 01:43:15,390
♪ Oh, no, baby ♪
2561
01:43:15,457 --> 01:43:16,924
♪ You belong to me ♪
2562
01:43:16,991 --> 01:43:19,261
♪ I'm telling her, darling ♪
♪ I love you so ♪
2563
01:43:19,327 --> 01:43:21,229
♪ You belong to me ♪
2564
01:43:23,598 --> 01:43:26,200
♪ You belong to me ♪
2565
01:43:28,336 --> 01:43:30,538
♪ You belong to me ♪
163232
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