Original subtitles

>>> FROM ROCKEFELLER CENTER, IN THE HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S

THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON

TONIGHT JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS

MIKE TYSON, ADAM DEVINE, MUSICAL GUEST CHRONIXX, AND FEATURING

THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW, AND NOW HERE'S YOUR HOST...

JIMMY FALLON ♪ ♪

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY AND WELCOME TO "THE

TONIGHT SHOW." I'M JIMMY FALLON

TODAY IS JULY 27TH AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

>> 99 DAYS. >> 99 DAYS

>> 99 DAYS AWAY FROM THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

>> THAT'S RIGHT. WE ARE JUST 99 DAYS AWAY FROM

ELECTION AND JUST 100 DAYS AWAY FROM PRESIDENT TRUMP DECLARING

THE RESULTS INVALID. JUST 99 DAYS, OR AS ONE PERSON

PUT SO MUCH HACKING, SO LITTLE TIME

TRUMP THINKS 99 DAYS AND PLENTY OF TIME TO GET HIS CAMPAIGN IN

SHAPE. HE'S LIKE SOMEONE LOOKING IN THE

MIRROR GOING I STILL HAVE TIME TO GET READY FOR SWIM SUIT

SEASON THAT'S LIKE AN ENTIRE BASEBALL

SEASON PLUS 96 DAYS. YEAH, 99 DAYS DOESN'T SEEM LIKE

THAT MUCH. THEN AGAIN THE LAST 99 DAYS HAVE

FELT LIKE 900 YEARS. THE CLOCK IS TICKING ON TRUMP'S

CHANCES TO TURN AROUND HE SPENT THE MORNING SCREAMING

INTO HIS MYPILLOW, WHICH HAS 99 DAYS LEFT, IT LOOKS LIKE JOE

BIDEN IS CLOSE TO CHOOSING ‐‐ I GOT SCREWED BECAUSE NO ONE

LAUGHED AT THAT LAST JOKE. MAYBE IF YOU HEAR IT AT HOME ‐‐

THE MYPILLOW GUY IS HIS BIGGEST SUPPORTER IS MYPILLOW.

KEEP IT IN THERE >> NO, NO.

>> OH, GOOD. >> IT'S NOT WORTH IT

WELL W JUST 99 DAYS LEFT T LOOKS LIKE JOE BIDEN IS CLOSE TO

CHOOSING A RUNNING MATE THIS WEEK AND HE'S PERSONALLY

INTERVIEWING ALL THE CANDIDATES. HE SAID I'M GOING TO ASK YOU THE

SAME QUESTION OBAMA ASKED ME, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE QUIET

GAME HE'S ASKING THE HARD‐HITTING

QUESTIONS LIKE DO YOU HAVE ORGANIZE EXPERIENCE ORGANIZING

PILLS? AND WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN

FIVE YEARS AND THE CANDIDATES ARE LIKE, PRESIDENT.

WHILE DISCUSSING TRUMP'S RESPONSE TO THE PANDEMIC, PELOSI

SAID HER NEW NICKNAME FOR TRUMP IS MR. MAKE MATTERS WORSE.

FOR MORE, I'M JOINED BY THE PERSON WHO WRITES THE CLEVER

NICKNAMES NANCY PELOSI USES. HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THE

NICKNAME, MR. MAKE MATTERS WORSE?

>> WELL, FIRST I STARTED WITH TRUMP'S AGENDA, WHICH IS MAN

AND I THOUGHT WHAT IS TRUMP DOING THAT'S UPSETTING SO MANY

PEOPLE RIGHT NOW AND THAT'S OBVIOUS.

IT'S THE WAY HE HANDLES MATTERS, RIGHT?

WELL, HE MAKES THEM WORSE AND THAT'S HOW THE FAMOUS NICKNAME

WAS BORN NOW EVERYONE CALLS TRUMP

MR. MAKE MATTERS WORSE >> I DON'T THINK ANYONE BUT

PELOSI IS CALLING HIM THAT NO OFFENSE BUT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

IT'S NOT THE BEST NICKNAME EVER. >> IT'S NOT MY PROUDEST WORK

I CAME UP WITH A NICKNAME FOR BETSY DEVOS THAT IS DEVASTATING.

MY NICKNAME FOR HER, THE SECRETARY OF MISEDUCATION OF THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE. >> I THINK YOU'RE HITTING THE

SAME WALL THERE. NICKNAMES ARE USUALLY CATCHY

>> I USUALLY ONLY HAVE TO ANSWER TO SPEAKER PELOSI.

THESE NAMES ARE VERY FUNNY TO AN 80‐YEAR‐OLD WOMAN WHO IS

EXTREMELY STRESSED >> DWAYNE JOHNSON'S NICKNAME WAS

THE ROCK, NOT THE BIG MAN GOOD AT PUNCHING AND ACTING

>> I'LL COME CLEAN I KNOW THESE NAMES AREN'T GOOD,

I GET IT BUT NANCY LOVES THEM

SHE TOLD ME THE KEY TO A GOOD NICKNAME IS LONG AND IMPOSSIBLE

TO REMEMBER. BEING THE NICKNAME WRITER IS MY

DREAM JOB. DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME

>> I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU

>> MAYBE YOU CAN TELL ME IF YOU THINK SPEAKER PELOSI WOULD LIKE

THEM >> SURE.

IT SEEMS LIKE YOU AND I WOULD HAVE DIFFERENT TASTES BUT, SURE,

LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT >> THIS IS FOR STEVE KILIS A

MEMBER OF THE HOUSE. MORE LIKE MEMBER OF THE HOUSE

AND THE HOUSE IS A HOUSE OF CARDS THAT IS TUMBLING DOWN.

>> THAT'S ALL ONE NICKNAME >> LOUD AND CLEAR, JIMMY

BUT THIS NEXT IS A PERFECT BURN FOR MIKE PENCE

THE VICE PRESIDENT DON'T OF THE UNUNITED STATES OF AMERI‐DON'T

MITCH MCCONNELL, CAPTAIN OF THE SS ALL ABOARD TOOT TOOT.

>> LOOK, IT SEEMS LIKE THE OTHER ONES PELOSI LIKES KIND OF, SO I

WON'T SAY TILTS IT'S GOOD, BUT MAYBE SHE'LL LIKE THAT ONE

>> NOW I CAN GO BACK TO HELPING THE DEMOCRATS FIGHT THE TRUMP

ADMINISTRATION THE BEST WAY WE KNOW HOW, WITH SASS.

>> KEVIN CHIPRIANO, EVERYBODY. AND GET THIS, THE OTHER DAY

TRUMP SAID HE'D BE THROWING OUT THE FIRST PITCH AT A YANKEES

GAME NEXT MONTH. >> PRESIDENT TRUMP SAYS HE WON'T

BE THROWING OUT THE FIRST PITCH AUGUST 15TH AFTERALL

HE TWEETED HE'S FOCUSING ON CORONAVIRUS MEETINGS AND THE

ECONOMY AND CAN'T BE THERE THAT DAY.

>> ALTHOUGH, THANKS TO HIS HAND LING OF THE PANDEMIC, HE MIGHT

BE ABLE TO THROW OUT THE LAST PITCH TOMORROW

I WISH TRUMP DIDN'T CANCEL ‐‐ [ LAUGHTER

>> ‐‐ MOSTLY BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE HIM SLOWLY WALK DOWN THE

PITCHER'S MOUND. >> THE DIRT IS VERY SLIPPERY,

VERY, VERY SLIPPERY AND I'M WEARING LEATHER SHOES.

EVERYONE KNOWS WHEN YOU WEAR LEATHER SHOES AND SLIPPERS,

PITCHER'S MOUNDS, IT'S HARD TO GET DOWN OFF THE MOUND

>> IT'S KIND OF SAD TRUMP CANCELLED THROWING THE BALL.

DON JR. WAS LIKE YOU GET USED TO IT

WELL, TRUMP SKIPPING THE FIRST PITCH ISN'T THE NEWS BASEBALL

FANS ARE UPSET ABOUT TODAY ALREADY THERE'S TROUBLE.

>> ESPN REPORTING THE MIAMI MARLINS HOME OPENER TONIGHT HAS

BEEN CANCELLED EIGHT MORE PLAYERS AND TWO

COACHES HAVE TESTED POSITIVE FOR CORONAVIRUS.

IN ALL 14 PEOPLE IN THE CLUBHOUSE HAVE TESTED POSITIVE

>> 14 PLAYERS AND COACHES ON ONE TEAM HAVE ALREADY TESTED

POSITIVE JUST DAYS INTO THE SEASON

BUT LET'S REOPEN SCHOOLS THAT'S A TOUGH BREAK FOR THE

MARLINS AND MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

BESIDES THAT, WHO SAW THIS COMING

WHO KNEW A SPORT WHERE THEY SPIT AND HIGH FIVE WOULD PUT PEOPLE

AT RISK. HALF THE MARLINS TESTED

POSITIVE EVEN WORSE, THE TEAM IS

REPLACING THOSE PLAYERS WITH DR. FAUCI.

[ SYMBOL >> AND IF DR. FAUCI ISN'T

AVAILABLE, THEY COULD TRY TO GET QUEST LOVE

♪ >> NOT FUNNY

>> HEY >> OH, CHECK THIS OUT.

I SAW THAT BUGATTI IS SELLING A CAR FOR KIDS

AND I GUARANTEE EVERY OTHER PARENT IS HERE

AND TIKTOK AND 10,000 NEW JOBS OVER THE

NEXT THREE YEARS AND I SAW THIS COMMERCIAL ON TV.

>> FINDING THE RIGHT CAREER CAN BE TOUGH

AT TIKTOK CAREER COLLEGE, WE GIVE YOU THE RESOURCES AND

TRAINING WE NEED TO BUILD THE TIKTOK INDUSTRY.

WHETHER YOU'RE POINTING AT TEXT DOT SCREEN OR POINTING AT PEOPLE

POINTING AT TEXT DOT SCREEN, WE HAVE YOU COVERED

IT'S GROWING >> NOW TIKTOK CAREER COLLEGE, I

HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RIP THAT LOW, OR MAKE MY GRANDPA LIP SINK

A BABY SONG. THANKS TIKTOK CAREER COLLEGE

>> THEY'RE THE BEST IN THEIR FIELD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT TO STUDY ADD THE FEET OF SANDY DEVETO

>> I USED TO WORK IN RETAIL BUT I REALIZED I COULD EARN A LOT

MORE FROM A DEGREE AT TIKTOK CAREER COLLEGE

NOW I HAVE MY DREAM JOB OF DOING ONE‐PERSON REENACTMENTS OF

"HOUSE HUNTERS." I DON'T GET PAID AND I WORK IN

RETAIL BUT I DO HAVE NEARLY 2,000 FOLLOWERS.

>> WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? ENROLL TODAY

>> HE'S GOING TO GET BACK INTO THE BOXING RING.

MIKE TYSON IS HERE THIS EVENING. ADAM DIVINE IS HERE.

HE'S GOT A NEW QUIBI, QUIBI, AND WE HAVE GREAT MUSIC ALL THE

WAY FROM JAMAICA CHRONIXX IS ON THE SHOW.

HEY, EVERYONE, THIS PAST WEEKEND WE LOST AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND. TV

HOST AND OUR GOOD FRIEND REGIS PHILBIN PASSED AWAY AT 88 YEARS

OLD. REGIS GOT HIS START AS AN NBC

PAGE HERE AT "THE TONIGHT SHOW" WHEN STEVE ALLEN WAS THE HOST,

BUT THE BIG BREAK FOR HIM WAS IN 1967 WHEN HE BECAME FAMOUS AS

THE SIDEKICK ON THE JOEY BISHOP SHOW

HE COULD DO EVERYTHING. HE COULD SING, HE WAS FUNNY, LIKE REALLY

FUNNY. AND HE WAS AN ENTERTAINER. HE

WAS ALWAYS GAME TO DO A BIT, DRESS UP, HE WOULD DO ANYTHING

FOR A LAUGH. I LOVED HIM, MY GRANDPARENTS

LOVED HIM, MY MOM AND DAD LOVED HIM.

BETWEEN HIS EARLY CAREER AND HIS TIME ON "REGIS AND KATHIE LEE"

AND "REGIS AND KELLY," HE WAS PART OF ALL OF OUR LIVES. HE

WOULD TELL FUNNY STORIES ABOUT HIS NIGHT OUT IN MANHATTAN THE

NIGHT BEFORE AND TELL THEM WITH SUCH HUMOR AND CLASS AND GRACE.

I LOVED THAT HE NEVER FORGOT HIS IRISH ROOTS, AND AS SOMEONE WHO

GREW UP IN AN IRISH FAMILY, I COULD RELATE TO ALL OF HIS

STORIES. WHEN I STARTED TO BECOME FAMOUS

ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AND PEOPLE WOULD ASK, "WHAT'S IT

LIKE WHEN PEOPLE RECOGNIZE YOU ON THE STREET?" AND I WOULD

REPLY, "I FEEL LIKE REGIS" ‐ AND EVERYONE UNDERSTOOD THAT. THERE

WAS NO NEED FOR EXPLANATION, HE WAS THE KING OF NEW YORK

I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE ON HIS SHOW AS A GUEST AND HE WAS ON MY

SHOW NUMEROUS TIMES. HE'LL BE REMEMBERED AS A

GENUINELY NICE PERSON A FUNNY HUMAN A GOOD HUSBAND, FATHER AND

GRANDFATHER. AND HE ALWAYS HAD THAT SMILE

WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING, THEY'LL STEAL YOUR HEART AWAY.

REGIS, W

>>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

HEY, WHENEVER I NEED A PICK ME UP, I GO TO MY MAIN SOURCE OF

SPIRITUAL STRENGTH IT'S TIME

FOR #BLESSED, #INSPIRE >> AND NOW #BLESSED #INSPIRED.

>> OUR FIRST INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE IS SING LIKE NO ONE IS

LISTENING, DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS WATCHING, BUT I CAN'T PROMISE I

WON'T POST THIS ON TIKTOK. I'M ALREADY STARTING TO FEEL

BETTER HOW ABOUT THIS MORSEL?

YOU HAVE THE BEST VIEW THERE'S EVER BEEN UNTIL TOM HANKS PLAYS

YOU IN A BIO PICK, THEN TOM HANKS IS THE BEST YOU.

HERE'S A TREASURE. IT TAKES MORE MUSCLES TO FROWN

THAN IT DOES TO SMILE. SO, FROWN MORE AND USE THAT

PELOTON I GOT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS, BABE

HERE'S A LITTLE BLESSING THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES

BEGINS WITH THE SINGLE STEP AND THE WORDS MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN

OH MAN OH MAN. ♪ ♪

NOT A BIG VANESSA CARLTON FAN? HERE'S A SPOT OF ‐‐ A SPOT OF

CLEAR TEA. DON'T CRY START SMILING AND

EVERYONE WILL BE JEALOUS OR CRY AND SMILE AT THE SAME TIME

IT'S TERRIFYING. HOW ABOUT ANOTHER TOUCH OF

INSPIRATION? TRUE BEAUTY IS ON THE INSIDE

WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE AN OLD AVOCADO, THEN YOU'RE JUST BROWN

MUSH COME TO THINK OF IT YOU'RE NOT

SO PRETTY ON THE OUTSIDE EITHER. HERE'S A USED BIRKENSTOCK THAT

HAS THE OUTLINE OF YOUR FOOT IN IT

I USED TO THINK THAT BOTH DRAGONS AND DINOSAURS WERE REAL

AND I LIKE THEM BOTH A LOT THEN WHEN I GOT OLDER, I

REALIZED DINOSAURS WERE REAL AND DRAGONS WERE IMAGINARY, SO I

LIKED DINOSAURS MORE AND WHEN I GOT OLDER, I STARTED READING

FANTASY BOOKS, SO I LIKED DRAGONS MORE

THEN THE FINAL SEASON OF "GAME OF THRONES" GAME, AND I DIDN'T

LIKE DRAGONS ANYMORE I THOUGHT THE "JURASSIC "FILMS

WERE A FUN ROMP. IS THAT A WORD

ROMP THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STAY TOO

MUCH IT'S CALLED SEMANTICS

ASSOCIATION. THE LAST SEIZE OFTEN GAME OF

THRONES RUINED DRAGONS FOR ME. LET'S CRACK OPEN THIS LAST

LITTLE GEODE LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.

PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE

FOR #BLESSED, #INSPIRED. STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT

BACK WITH MIKE TYSON

>>> MY FIRST GUEST IS A BOXING

LEGEND AND THE CREATOR OF "LEGENDS ONLY LEAGUE." HE'S

MAKING HIS RETURN TO THE RING TO TAKE ON ROY JONES JR. ON

SEPTEMBER 12TH ‐‐ YOU CAN CATCH THAT ON PAY‐PER‐VIEW AND

TRILLER. AND ON AUGUST 9TH, YOU CAN CHECK OUT "TYSON VS. JAWS:

RUMBLE ON THE REEF" AS PART OF DISCOVERY CHANNEL'S SHARK WEEK.

HERE'S MIKE TYSON! >>> MAN IT HAS BEEN A WHILE

SINCE THE FIRST TIME I TOLD YOU I SAW YOU WAS AT MY HIGH SCHOOL

IN SOCRATES. >> IT WAS LIKE A GOLDEN GLOVE OR

SOMETHING. AND THE LOCAL STORE SOLD YOU A

PAIR OF BOXING SHOES MIKE TYSON GOT HIS BOXING SHOES

FROM MONTANAS. IT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER

AND NOW HERE YOU ARE, MIKE TYSON IS BACK.

IRON MIKE. >> YEAH, I'M SO HAPPY.

IT'S GOING TO BE SO AWESOME. I'M SO HAPPY TO BE COMING TO THE

RING AND FACING ROY JONES. IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME

AND I'M LAUNCHING BEING A PROTOTYPE OF IT, I'M LAUNCHING

MY "LEGENDS ONLY LEAGUE. LEAGUES FROM ALL OVER ‐‐ I DON'T

CARE POOL SHARK, ALL THE EX‐LEGENDS

WHO WANT TO PLAY AND STILL ABLE TO PLAY AND STILL BEAUTIFUL,

LIKE MYSELF, THEY CAN COME WITH US, CALL ME.

LIKE BEFORE I WAS SAYING WE HAVE METTA WORLD PEACE, ONE ON ONE

AND HAVE WAYNE GRETSKY GO UP AGAINST THE GUY ONE ON ONE

>> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA >> OH, MAN, WE'RE GOING TO HELP

VARIOUS CHARITIES. OF COURSE, I CAN STILL DO IT, OF

COURSE THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO.

REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT >> AND DID YOU PICK ROY JONES

JR. OUT OF A LINE UP BECAUSE YOU COULD FIGHT ANYONE

>> I DON'T KNOW. IT'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF GUYS

I GOT FROM ROB SAPP TO ROY JONES.

I THINK HE'S THE GREATEST FIGHTER OF MY JOANERATION AND

HE'S THE GREATEST OF HIS GENERATION AND NO BRAINER WE

SHOULD CLASH TOGETHER. >> YOU'VE NEVER FOUGHT TOGETHER?

>> >> WE PLANNED ON FIGHTING BUT IT

DIDN'T HAPPEN AND THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY NOW.

>> I SAW THE TRAINING FOOTAGE OF YOU ON INSTAGRAM AND OH, MY

GOSH, YOU'VE GOT IT, MAN UNBELIEVABLE

>> I DON'T KNOW HOW COME IT CAME BACK

I STARTED TRAINING I'M BACK IN SHAPE, 228

I'VE BEEN BOXING I CAN'T BELIEVE THE SEASON

I DON'T BELIEVE IN THE FOUNLT FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH BU

SOMETHING CAME OVER ME MAN, I'M BACK.

>> HOW DOES IT FEEL TRAINING FROM 54 COMPARED TO WHEN YOU

WERE 24? >> WELL, IT'S REALLY PAINFUL

REALLY PAINFUL AND FROM THIS EXPERIENCE RIGHT

NOW, I'LL NEVER CALL ANOTHER FIGHTER A BUM BECAUSE ANYONE WHO

ATTEMPTS TO DO THIS IS NO BUM. >> IT'S TOUGH.

WHAT DO YOUR KIDS THINK? >> THEY THINK I SHOULD SIT MY

OLD AS DOWN. BUT WHAT DO THEY KNOW?

NEITHER ONE OF MY KIDS CAN BEAT ME IN A FIGHT.

SO, WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? >> WAIT UNTIL THEY SEE WHAT DAD

DOES >> ABSOLUTELY.

>> I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO WIN BECAUSE I KNOW YOU

YOU'RE MIKE TYSON. HOW LONG IS A ROUND?

THREE MINUTES? >> THREE MINUTES

>> I THINK IN YOUR HEAD, YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO GO FIVE ROUNDS.

BUT I THINK ONCE YOU GET IN THERE AND YOU GET TAGGED ONCE,

THE HURRICANE IS GOING TO COME OUT, THE IRON MIKE IS GOING TO

COME OUT I'M GOING TO SAY FOURTH ROUND.

AND THAT'S BEING NICE. >> WHY DON'T WE JUST DO A

LOTTERY AND FIND OUT >> DEFINITELY.

I'LL FLY TO YOU. >> ABSOLUTELY.

IT'S GOING TO BE SO AWESOME. >> IRON MIKE, WHERE DID THAT

COME FROM? CUSTOM AUTO?

>> SOMEONE STARTED CALLING ME IRON MIKE A FRIEND OF MINE,

CARLOS SANTOS. HE SAID MAN, I'LL BUY A T‐SHIRT

THAT SAID IRON MIKE AND NOW EVERYBODY CALL SAID ME IRON

MIKE >> SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT

AND I JUST SAW PICTURES OF JAIME FOX, WHO IS UNBELIEVABLE

I LOVE THAT GUY. HE'S SO TALENTED

HE'S PLAYING YOU IN A MOVIE CALLED FINDING MIKE.

WE TALKED ABOUT IT LAST TIME YOU WERE ON THE SHOW

AND SO NOW IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.

>> AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS

IT'S GOING TO BE INTERESTING OBSERVING MYSELF

>> BUT JAIME SAID TO ME I HAVE TONS OF MIKE'S STORIES

LIKE, HE WAS WITH YOU THROUGH THE GOOD TIMES AND THE BAD

TIMES. >> JAIME MIGHT PARTICIPATE IN

THE LEGENDS ONLY LEAGUE AS WELL BECAUSE I'M SURE THERE ARE SOME

COMEDIANS THAT WANT TO KICK HISS AS

AND LISTEN, FOR ALL ATHLETES, ANYONE, PING PONG PLAYERS,

HANDBALL PLAYERS, ALL THE LEGENDS OF THE PASTS

WHO ARE AROUND FOR 45/50 YEARS OLD, COME WITH ME.

TELL YOUR AGENTS TO CALL ME. GET IN SHAPE

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE EVERYBODY.

WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU. OF COURSE THEY'RE STILL

BEAUTIFUL, AS MYSELF AND ABLE TO DO WHAT THEY DO.

SO, WHY DO THEY HAVE TO NOT DO WHAT THEY DO

YOU CAN STILL HAVE A GREAT FOOTBALL TEAM, ONE ON ONE

TENNIS, PING PONG, WHATEVER, HANDBALL, WHATEVER

BASKETBALL, FOOTBALL WHATEVER IT IS, WE GOT IT.

>> JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT OLDER, DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT STILL AN

ATHLETE? >> EXACTLY

HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU KNOW STILL OUT RUN JERRY RICE

>> NO. NO ONE

NO ONE I KNOW. >> EXACTLY

AND I BET YOU HE HAS MORE FAN BASES AND MORE YOUTUBE FOLLOWERS

THAN THE GUY WHO PLAYS HIS POSITION IN THE TEAM HE USED TO

PLAY FOR >> I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA

>> WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DIE BECAUSE THEY SAY HE CAN'T PLAY

NO MORE? >> EXACTLY

I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS. SEPTEMBER 12TH

AND IF ANYONE NEEDS ANYMORE REASON BE TO EXCITED FOR THE

FIGHT, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS >> WHY DO I WANT TO BE THE

BADDEST MAN IN THE PLANET? SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD QUIT

HAVING DESIRES TO GO FORWARD AND BE SOMEBODY BECAUSE IT'S A LOT

OF WORK. >> YOU GOT TO BE WILLING TO GET

UP EVERY MORNING, 5:00, HIT THAT ROPE, EVERY DAY.

HIT THAT GYM BECAUSE THERE ARE OTHER MAN IS GOING TO DO

ANYTHING HE GOT TO DO NECESSARY TO WIN

NOBODY EVER WENT FROM DREAMING AND BECOMING HEAVYWEIGHT

CHAMPION JUST LIKE DAVID AND GOLIATH, IF

HE HITS YOU, HE CAN TAKE YOUR HEAD OFF AND I'M THE LITTLE

DAVID WHO ONLY HAS GOD ON MY SIDE

>> THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO STICK AROUND BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT "SHARKS? >> LET'S DO IT

>> MORE WITH MIKE TYSON WHEN WE COME BACK, EVERYBODY

♪ ♪ >>> WE'RE BACK WITH IRON MIKE

TYSON.

MIKE, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, BUDDY.

>> YOU ARE TOO FANTASTIC, MAN. CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO SEE ME IN

THE RING AND DO MY THING >> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS

THING ON SHARK WEEK. >> LISTEN.

MY WIFE TALKED ME INTO DOING THIS SAID, HEY, WILL SMITH DID

IT AND HE DIDN'T COMPLAIN. WHY ARE YOU GOING TO COMPLAIN?

AND I SAID WILL SMITH IS A DIFFERENT KIND OF GUY.

HE'S ADVENTURES. I'M NOT.

SHE CONVINCED ME TO GO ON THIS TRIP

SO, I'M IN THE BAHAMAS AND SHE ACCOMPANIED ME IN THE BAHAMAS

AND MAN, FIRST I WAS IN THE CAGE WITH THE SHARK AND NOW IT'S KIND

OF CLAUSTROPHOBIC. IT WASN'T FUN AND EXCITING

AND THEN I DID THE FREE DIVE AND I WAS HANGING OUT WITH SOME

SHARKS >> NO, NO, NO.

PEOPLE FROM BROOKLYN SHOULD NOT DO THAT.

>> HEY, LISTEN, I UNDERSTAND BUT MY WIFE FELT IT WAS A WAY

FOR ME TO OVERCOME MY FEAR AND I DID.

SHE WAS RIGHT. >> IT MUST HAVE BEEN AMAZING

YOU MUST BE HAPPY YOU DID IT NOW THAT IT'S OVER

>> I'M VERY SATISFIED THAT I DID IT AND I SURVIVED.

THE MOST EXCITING THING IS I LOOKED UP AND MAN, IT WAS LIKE

50 FEET UP AND I SAID HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP MIKE TYSON WEEK

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M NOT A WATER GUY ‐‐

>> NO. >> ‐‐ AND I WAS HAPPY TO DO IT

I OVER CAME SO MANY FEARS, UNBELIEVABLE

>> TYSON VERSES JAWS A RUMBLE IN THE REEF

SINCE YOU'RE FACING UP AGAINST "JAWS" AND ROY JONES JR., I WANT

TO GET YOUR TAKE AND SEE IF YOU CAN BEAT A FEW OTHER LEGENDS

YOU READY? >> I'M READY FOR ANYBODY

>> MIKE TYSON VERSES ROCKY BALBOA

>> I WILL KICK ROCKY'S BUT >> COME ON

>> YEAH, DUDE. >> HE'S AN UNDERDOG, HE CAME

FROM NOWHERE >> NO, DUDE, I WOULD SLAUGHTER,

SLAUGHTER, SLAUGHTER I WIN, I WIN, I WIN.

>> STICK WITH ROCKY MOVIES, HOW ABOUT IVAN DRAGO FROM "ROCKY 4"?

>> OH, MAN, TOO SLOW, TOO MANY MUSCLES.

>> YEAH, YEAH. HOW ABOUT THIS ONE

THIS ONE COULD HAPPEN? MIKE TYSON VERSES CONOR

MCGREGOR >> WOW

LOOK AT THAT >> YEAH.

THAT DUDE'S NUTS >> YEAH, BUT I'M GOING TO KICK

HIS AS ANYWAY. [ LAUGHTER

>> BUT HE DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES.

HE'S ALL MMA AND STUFF >> THEN WE DON'T PLAY WITH

BOXING RULES >> MIKE TYSON VERSES THE KARATE

KID? >> WHOA.

WAX OFF, WAX ON. THIS IS PRETTY COMPLICATED

I'M GOING TO SURRENDER TO HIM ON THIS ONE BUT THEN AGAIN IT'S ME

AND ROY JONES, AN EIGHT‐ROUND EXHIBITION AND IT'S GOING TO BE

MAGNIFICENT AND I'M GOING TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL AND FOURTH PARK

AND THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME. LET ME SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.

THIS IS THE HEALTH SPORTS CENTER PARK

THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT. >> SEPTEMBER 12th.

BEST OF LUCK, MY FRIEND. >> AND LISTEN, I LOVE YOU AND

LISTEN, MAN, TRY TO COME IF NOT, GO TO PAY‐PER‐VIEW ON

TRILLER, INNOVATION. WE'RE KICKING AS, MAN.

DON'T FORGET, EON'S INNOVATIONS, FORGIVE ME

WE'RE KICKING AS I LOVE YOU GUYS.

>> "TYSON VERSES JAWS RUMBLE ON THE REEF" AUGUST 12TH ON

PAY‐PER‐VIEW AND TRILLER WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

ADAM DIVINE, EVERYBODY ♪

>>> OUR NEXT GUEST IS A TALENTED ACTOR AND COMEDIAN WITH A BRAND

NEW SHOW CALLED "BAD IDEAS" WITH ADAM DIVINE, NOW ON QUIBI.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

>> I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE ON MY SHOW

THANK YOU SO MUCH BECAUSE I GET TO CONGRATULATE YOU, KIND OF,

OVER ZOOM. CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING ENGAGED

TO BE MARRIED. >> OH, THANKS, JIMMY

>> DID THE QUARANTINE PUT A STOP THE PLANNING AT ALL?

>> WELL, NEITHER OF US ARE LIKE HUGE PLANNERS.

SO, WE KIND OF DIDN'T START PLANNING UNTIL THE QUARANTINE

HIT AND WE'RE LIKE WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET ON THIS

AND REALIZED THAT EVERYTHING IS PUSHED LIKE A SOLID YEAR AND A

HALF SO, I DIDN'T WANTED TO BE

INVOLVED WITH ANY OF THE PLANNING

I WROTE A POST TO CHLOE SAYING, LOOK, WE GOT ENGAGED AND IN THE

POST I WROTE HAVE FUN PLANNING THE WEDDING.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE CAKE TESTING AND EVERYONE IS LIKE THAT'S

CUTE I'M LIKE, THAT'S REAL.

I PLAN ON NOT BEING INVOLVED I'M JUST HERE.

PUT ON THE TUX I DO

AND NOW THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND IT BECAUSE SHE'LL BE LIKE

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE FLOWERS AND I CAN'T BE LIKE I'M

BUSY AND SHE'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT BUDDY,

YOU'RE WATCHING SEASON SIRKS OF "THE SOPRANOS.

WHICH IS GOOD. >> WHICH IS GREAT, BY THE WAY.

I WANT TO GET INTO BAD IDEAS HAS YOUR CONFIDENCE INCREASED

BECAUSE OF YOUR SHOW ON QUIBI, "BAD IDEAS."

NOW THAT YOU'RE LIKE A DARE DEVIL NOW?

>> YEAH. IT'S A WEIRD THING

DEFINITELY KIND OF STUFF THAT IN MY NORMAL REGULAR LIFE I WOULD

NEVER DO WE WENT UP THE AMAZON AND SWAM

WITH PIRANAS AND THINGS I NORMALLY WOULDN'T DO

THERE'S DEFINITELY AN ELEMENT OF DANGER IN THE SHOW THAT, IN

HINDSIGHT, I WAS LIKE MAYBE IF WE DO A SEASON TWO, I'M A LITTLE

MORE CAUTIOUS. >> I'VE NEVER HAD A FRIED EGG

BEFORE THAT WOULD BE COOL, RIGHT?

THAT'S A BAD IDEA. >> IT'S A BAD IDEA

>> THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE GOOD AT ALL IF I EAT TWO OF THESE

MCMUFFINS. >> I'M A WILD MAN.

KILL ME NOW. >> THAT'S A DIFFERENT SHOW

>> YEAH, HOW MANY FRUIT I CAN EAT OUT OF THIS FRUIT TRAY

>> OH, MAN, HE'S NUTS. NO SPOILERS.

>> THIS IS WILD, AND HE'S DIPPING IT IN YOGURT

THIS GUY'S INSANE. >> CAN I SHOW THIS ON TV

>> TOO MUCH DAIRY. >> DID YOU GET HURT?

>> YEAH, SO, I DID ONE WITH BLAKE ANDERSON FROM

"WORKAHOLICS." AND WE DID A DEMOLITION DERBY.

THAT WAS NUTS, JIMMY THEY LITERALLY TAUGHT US HOW TO

DRIVE STICK BEFORE WE DID THE DEMOLITION DERBY

WE DID ONE WITH A DOUBLE DECKER ON TWO CARS WELDED ON TOP OF

EACH OTHER AND BLAKE WAS IN CHARGE OF THE

GAS AND BRAKES AND I WAS IN CHARGE OF THE STEERING

AND WE WERE DOING GREAT. BUT THEN WE ‐‐ IT WAS LIKE WE

WERE IN FIRST PLACE AND REALLY, FOR WHATEVER REASON THIS JUST

WORKED FOR THE TWO OF US, BUT YOU COULDN'T HEAR, SO WE'RE

SCREAMING. I'M LIKE BRAKE, BRAKE AND HE'S

LIKE GAS AND WE TOOK A CORNER TOO

QUICKLY. >> DOESN'T EVEN RHYME WITH

BRAKE. >> AND WE FLIPPED OVER AND I WAS

AT THE TOP SO, CAME AND A FULL ON, SURPLAP,

SURPLAP. I SAW STARS, I CRACKED A RIB

MY NECK WAS ALL MESSED UP. AND FROM THERE, THEY PULLED US

OUT AND THEY'RE LIKE ARE YOU GOOD

AND I'M LIKE I THINK SO. AND THEY'RE LIKE CAN YOU DO

THAT AND I'M LIKE UH.

AND THEY'RE LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE A CONCUSSION

NEXT RACE. >> WOW

>> AND THAT'S JUST ONE OF THE EPISODES

REBEL WILSON AND I DID AN ACTION STUNT EPISODE.

>> REUNITED. >> AND IT FEELS SO GOOD.

WE TALK ABOUT HOW WE'RE KNOWN AS COMEDY PEOPLE BUT WE WANT TO BE

COOL ACTION HEROES YOU KNOW

>> ALL COMEDIANS WANTED TO BE JAMES BOND

>> WE ALL WANT TO BE SOMETHING WE'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT.

AND I'M LIKE I'M A COOL ACTION HERO AND SHE'S THE SAME WAY.

SO, WE WERE LIKE WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING WE GET IN A TON OF

COOL STUNTS. SO, WE'RE IN WILD WESTERN THEME

PLACE. WE GET IN A BIG BAR FIGHT AND

SHE SHOOTS ME AND I RUN UP THE STAIRS AND I'M LOOKING FOR A WAY

TO ESCAPE AND SHE COMES OUTSID AND SHOOTS ME FROM THE STREET

AND I FALL LIKE FOUR STORIES INTO SOME CARDBOARD BOXES AND I

TOLD THE STUNT GUYS THIS IDEA AND THEY'RE LIKE COOL, SO WHEN

YOU GET UP THERE, WE'LL DO A TEXAS SWITCH AND YOU'LL FLIP

WITH A REAL STUNT GUY AND HE'LL FALL ON BOXES.

I'M LIKE, NO, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW IS I'M GOING

TO FALL ON THE BOXES AND THEY'RE LIKE THAT'S A REALLY

BAD IDEA AND I'M LIKE EXACTLY. >> THAT'S THE NAME OF THE SHOW

>> BACK TO QUIBI NOW >> THIS IS FROM THE DEMOLITION

DERBY EPISODE. >> OH, COOL.

>> SLOW DOWN WHEN WE GET INTO THE TURNS BECAUSE THIS THING CAN

TIP. >> ALL GAS, NO BRAKE

>> WHAT? >> ALL GAS NO BRAKE.

>> NO. >> NOW WE'RE COOKING, BABY

>> LET'S MAKE A RUN FOR THE JEWELS

>> HEY, ADAM YOU GOOD? >> I FEEL LIKE I GOT HIT IN THE

HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT WE DIDN'T DIE.

>> WE HAD IT TOO >> MY THANKS TO ADAM DIVINE.

CHECK OUT "BAD IDEAS" WITH ADAM DIVINE ON QUIBI.

CHRONIXX PERFORMS FOR US NEXT. GOOD LUCK ON THE WEDDING, BUDDY.

♪ ♪ OH YEAH

OH YEAH OH YEA YEAH YEAH YEAH

YEAH YEAH YEAH ♪ ♪ ROLL OUT WE COO

AS THE BREEZ WALLET LOOK LIKE

A SCIENCE BOOK ♪ ♪ SWEAR A SCHOO

MI AGO TEACH REV THE TRUCK UP T

THE MOUNTAIN TOP ♪ ♪ AND AS SOON AS MI REACH

GO GET DI SKUN KICK THE SHOES

OFF MI FEET ♪ ♪ THEN ME BLESS THE CUP

32 PSALMS MI REA GIVE THANKS FO

DI LOVE MI RECEIVE ♪ ♪ MI WORK EVERY DAY

INNA THE STREE AND EVERYDAY END

WITH NIGHTS LIKE THESE ♪ ♪ WHEN A HOLIDA

WI TOUCH PAN DI BEAC WHITE T‐SHIR

AND A CUT OFF JEANS ♪ ♪ AND WE NU

NEED NO SNEAKERS SAND GRAINS

MASSAGE MI FEET ♪ ♪ BLESSING A FLOW

LIKE RIVER GIRL DROP ASLEE SHE STEAM THE INDICA

WAKE HER AN SHE ♪ ♪ THE SUN BURNING

UP TIL IT RE WELCOME TO KINGSTO

EVERY DAY IS A SUMMER ♪ ♪ EVERY NIGHT FEE

LIKE A FRIDA REV DA BIKE TIL DE

SWEAR IS A HUMMER ♪ ♪ HIGH GRADE

MAKE WI EYE RE STILL WI NAH GO RE

YIY FI NOBODY TINGS ♪ ♪ EVERY NIGHT A FRIDA

OH YEAH OH YEA GENERAL A GENERAL AN

WHEN WI TOUCH DI ROAD ♪ ♪ MI AN MI EMPRES

AN MI BREDDA DEM NUH ROLL WID NUH STRANGE

HERBS PRETTY LIKE ♪ ♪ A EMERALD NO ONE POUN

A SEVERAL IN THE CHALICE PUFF IT UP MEK

BABYLON SEE THE VAPOUR ♪ ♪ TELL YUH DEM NUH READ

FEEL DI ENERGY WI BRINGING EVERY STYLE WEH DEM A FALL

YES A WE A DI MAKER ♪ ♪ SPENDING LIKE A RUNNE

THINK A BOLT WHE WI COME YA

MEMBER EVERYDAY A ♪ ♪ SUMMER WHEN

YUH DEH A JAMAIC HOLD ON NUH BABY

THIS PLACE KINDA CRAZY ♪ ♪ EVERYBODY A DANCE

CATCH THE ENERGY BABYLON CAN'

STOP THE MUSIC ♪ ♪ RASTAFARI KEE

IT GROOVIN THE WHOLE WORLD A PREE

FI TOUCH DOWN ♪ ♪ IN THE WEST INDIE

THE SUN BURNIN UP TIL IT RE

WELCOME TO KINGSTON ♪ ♪ EVERY DAY

EVERY NIGHT FEEL LIKE A FRIDA

REV DA BIKE TIL DEM ♪ ♪ SWEAR IS A HUMMER

HIGH GRADE A MAKE WI EYE RED STILL WI NAH GO RE

YA FI NOBODY TINGS ♪ ♪ EVERY NIGHT A FRIDA

OH YEAH OH YEA MI WORK EVERY DA

INNA THE STREET ♪ ♪ EVERYDAY END WITH

NIGHTS LIKE THES WHEN A HOLIDAY

WE TOUCH PAN DA BEACH ♪ ♪ A WHITE T‐SHIRT

AND A CUT OFF JEAN AND WE NUH NEED NO SNEAKER

DI WARM SAND GRAINS ♪ ♪ A MASSAGE ME FEET

MI LOCS LONG LIKE JESUS LOCS WHEN MI STEAM THE SATIVA U

DANCEHALL ♪ ♪ LA LA LA LA

DANCEHAL LA LA LA L

LA LA LA LA ♪ ♪ DANCEHALL

LA LA LA L DANCEHAL

LA LA LA LA ♪ ♪ DANCEHALL

LA LA LA L DANCEHAL

LA LA LA LA ♪ ♪ SUN BURNING U

TIL IT RED WELCOME TO KINGSTO

EVERY DAY IS A SUMMER ♪ ♪ EVERY NIGHT FEE

LIKE A FRIDA REV THE BIKE TIL

DEM SWEAR IS A HUMMER ♪ ♪ HIGH GRADE A MAKE

WI EYE RED STILL WI NAH G

RED YIY FI NOBODY TINGS ♪ ♪ EVERY NIGHT A FRIDA

OH YEA OH YEAH OH YEA

SUN BURNING UP ♪ ♪ TIL IT RE

WELCOME TO KINGSTO EVERY DAY IS A SUMME

EVERY NIGHT FEEL ♪ ♪ LIKE A FRIDAY

REV DA BIKE TIL DE SWEAR IS A HUMME

HIGH GRADE A MAKE ♪ ♪ WI EYE RE

STILL WI NAH GO RE YIY FI NOBODY TING

EVERY NIGHT A FRIDAY ♪ ♪ OH YEAH YEA

SUN BURNING UP TILL IT RED WELCOME TO KINGSTON EVERYDAY

EVERY NIGHT FEEL ♪ ♪ LIKE A FRIDAY

REV DA BIKE TIL DEM SWEA HIGH GRADE A MAK

WI EYE RED ♪ ♪ SILL WI NAH G

RED YEAH ♪ ♪

>> Jimmy: THANK YOU ALL FOR WATCHING

STAY SAFE OUT THERE. WASH YOU HANDS

DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE. WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. ♪

♪