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1
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,925
Dear Mama, I am sorry but I do not think
2
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,432
we are able to travel to Sierra Leone
very soon.
3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,965
So, instead, we are saving money
towards your ticket
4
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,558
so you can come next year.
5
00:00:15,594 --> 00:00:18,765
We cannot wait to show you
our lives and our home.
6
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,080
Hey!
7
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,605
Dear Mama, I am sending you money
to come visit me.
8
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,440
There is so much I want to show you.
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00:00:28,577 --> 00:00:30,942
My van, a tree that looks like Uncle,
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00:00:30,978 --> 00:00:32,983
a dog who smells like a goat.
11
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:35,925
London is full of amazing things.
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00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,408
OK, bye.
13
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,180
Ahh!
14
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:48,645
Ahh!
15
00:00:48,998 --> 00:00:52,483
- Is something wrong, brother?
- Don't touch my beer.
16
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:08,124
Mm.
17
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:09,580
Mm!
18
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,285
- Er... Mm!
- Bagpipes.
19
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:15,408
- Mm!
- They're for Melissa's party tomorrow.
20
00:01:15,444 --> 00:01:16,444
Oh, sorry.
21
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,125
I'll make some more.
22
00:01:18,325 --> 00:01:19,596
Huh! What are they?
23
00:01:19,632 --> 00:01:21,590
Do you think your dad
might wear his uniform?
24
00:01:23,264 --> 00:01:24,735
Bagpipes.
25
00:01:25,506 --> 00:01:28,130
There's a teeny-tiny
chance that my parents...
26
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- might not make it.
- How teeny-tiny?
27
00:01:31,866 --> 00:01:35,196
- They're not coming.
- I knew it.
28
00:01:35,232 --> 00:01:36,232
Kirst.
29
00:01:36,268 --> 00:01:39,084
You know, I send them
letters, photos of the kids.
30
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,165
And what do they get back?
A Laura Ashley voucher each.
31
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,645
Yeah, but they do have
some smashing fabrics.
32
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:46,884
Do you think it's because Melissa's...
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00:01:47,754 --> 00:01:50,679
- Well, you know.
- No, my parents aren't racist.
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Well... No, I mean, course they aren't.
35
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,880
I mean, so what if they're not coming.
36
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,720
- Er...!
- Get off! Give it.
37
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,101
Everyone knows it's
not a free bar, right?
38
00:02:05,137 --> 00:02:06,247
Stop it.
39
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,449
Huh?
40
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,472
No free bar?
41
00:02:13,005 --> 00:02:16,699
Don't you start. I've got enough grief
at home for my parents not coming.
42
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,450
What did you say?
43
00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,605
And then tomorrow morning will be spent
44
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:24,365
balling melons and
putting walnuts on things.
45
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,805
I don't know.
I'm no good at the party stuff.
46
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,965
I am. Decorations, buffets.
47
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,045
Check lists. I love it.
48
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,286
Well, fancy swapping places?
49
00:02:33,322 --> 00:02:35,755
Great idea, Bagpipes!
I would be honoured.
50
00:02:35,791 --> 00:02:36,941
So let me get this straight.
51
00:02:36,977 --> 00:02:39,685
Your parents are not coming to
your daughter's adoption party?
52
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:40,747
Yeah, but it's fine.
53
00:02:40,783 --> 00:02:43,636
We're not really a
spending-time-together sort of family.
54
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:46,573
- When was the last time you saw them?
- Oh, I don't know.
55
00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:48,675
Um, it was about three, four...
56
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,005
four, five...
57
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,760
um... years ago.
58
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,786
You haven't seen your
parents in five years?
59
00:02:55,822 --> 00:02:58,845
It's a 45-minute drive,
Walter, an hour in traffic.
60
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,748
Hell, Baggy. If you were my son,
I would beat you with my belt.
61
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:04,705
Uhh! Rajesh, can you believe it?
62
00:03:04,741 --> 00:03:06,723
He hasn't seen his
parents in five years.
63
00:03:06,759 --> 00:03:08,501
My God.
64
00:03:08,537 --> 00:03:10,559
- Would that happen with your daddy?
- Of course not.
65
00:03:10,595 --> 00:03:11,219
Hm.
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00:03:11,255 --> 00:03:16,175
Living with daddy in his home,
with all his belongings, is a gift.
67
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,081
And once Rani and I are
blessed with children,
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00:03:19,246 --> 00:03:20,764
children who will also learn,
69
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,501
not to touch anything
in the living room,
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00:03:22,537 --> 00:03:24,805
especially his porcelain dog collection,
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00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,622
he will be a wonderful source of er...
knowledge.
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00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,354
Until then...
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♪ Saturday, Saturday... ♪
74
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,120
It's the weekend. The cleaning
fairies have a day off.
75
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,948
Well, the demon that makes a mess
in my flat works every day,
76
00:03:49,482 --> 00:03:52,853
- sometimes when I sleep. Yeesh.
- And so he's taking a shift here?
77
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:54,255
Tidy your bowl!
78
00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:56,205
After this very good programme, sister.
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00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,885
- Now!
- 'Ey!
80
00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,785
That's so unfair. I was watching this.
81
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,165
Look where your face fit
but don't waste any flakes.
82
00:04:03,374 --> 00:04:05,484
Kobna, you are not wearing this.
83
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:09,311
It's an adoption party
not a Beastly Boy video.
84
00:04:09,347 --> 00:04:13,232
- But I'm not going to the party.
- Ha, ha, ha! Yes, you are.
85
00:04:13,268 --> 00:04:16,443
But everyone's going to be at
the youth club, Barney, Dale...
86
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:17,916
Kerry.
87
00:04:17,952 --> 00:04:20,585
Kobna, you are not bringing
shame on this family.
88
00:04:20,621 --> 00:04:22,986
- Watchy. You are going.
- But that's so unfair!
89
00:04:23,022 --> 00:04:24,073
- Boy!
- Hey, hey!
90
00:04:24,109 --> 00:04:26,395
Who are you to speak to your
mother like this, house boy?
91
00:04:26,441 --> 00:04:29,166
You will come to this party
and make your parents proud.
92
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,705
And to make sure you don't sneak
away, you will come with me now
93
00:04:31,741 --> 00:04:34,667
while I get some DJ equipment. Go now!
94
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,965
Lucky bobo. Pee-pee face.
95
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,765
- Sh...
- 'Ey, 'ey, 'ey! Don't not worry, sister.
96
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,325
He will be there.
'Ey, your hair looks nice today.
97
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,205
Kobna! Latch up your lip. Wait for me.
98
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,360
I said wait for me!
99
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:56,005
Frank, do you ever clean these tables?
100
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,045
When they need it.
101
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,565
This is from last year.
102
00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:04,925
We need to get this place cleaned up.
Then put the ashtrays out.
103
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,480
But not the pub ones.
Scallop shells. Classy.
104
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:11,081
Then we'll make that punch you made at
Sheila's wake, the one with the bits.
105
00:05:11,117 --> 00:05:13,722
- The one I dropped the peanuts in?
- Yeah, like it.
106
00:05:13,758 --> 00:05:16,643
Then decorations up, put the buffet out,
collect the cake.
107
00:05:16,679 --> 00:05:19,324
We can pay Gary at
the bakers with these.
108
00:05:19,697 --> 00:05:21,214
- Hey, Baggy.
- Huh?
109
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,435
I've been thinking about you and
your parents all night. Listen.
110
00:05:23,471 --> 00:05:25,956
If we leave now,
we can go, speak to them
111
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,126
- and come back before the party starts.
- No.
112
00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:30,752
- Walter, it's not a good idea.
- The Cortina is outside.
113
00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:34,273
- No, he's got to ball these melons.
- Ball the melons and pick up the cake
114
00:05:34,309 --> 00:05:36,307
and do the decorations and...
pick up the cake.
115
00:05:36,343 --> 00:05:37,343
Baggy.
116
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:40,174
All right, if you insist.
But I'm not chipping in for the petrol.
117
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:42,335
- But I need you to help me with this.
- Don't worry,
118
00:05:42,371 --> 00:05:44,931
the cavalry has arrived, madam.
119
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,222
Stop it.
120
00:05:48,533 --> 00:05:51,860
- Which way to the kitchen, please?
- Oh, just through... This way.
121
00:05:52,762 --> 00:05:54,553
I missed wrestling for this?
122
00:05:56,906 --> 00:05:58,826
My daddy.
123
00:06:01,905 --> 00:06:05,390
So, what happened with your parents,
huh, five years ago?
124
00:06:06,045 --> 00:06:07,845
Well, Melissa happened.
125
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,485
Yeah. Since she was born...
126
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,000
they've been a bit... funny.
127
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,160
Funny? How? How do you mean funny?
128
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:23,040
Well, I'm starting to
think that my parents...
129
00:06:23,531 --> 00:06:26,571
Well, there's a chance that
they might be a little bit...
130
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,785
..racist.
131
00:06:29,145 --> 00:06:31,065
- Don't like black people?
- Look...
132
00:06:31,101 --> 00:06:33,267
Yeah, no, I understand. I see.
133
00:06:33,336 --> 00:06:35,005
You know,
I told you this was a bad idea.
134
00:06:35,291 --> 00:06:38,536
- No, listen, it's fine.
- They'll like you, Walter.
135
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:39,342
Oh?
136
00:06:39,377 --> 00:06:41,577
I mean, you can charm the birds
out of the trees.
137
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,400
As long as the birds ain't...
138
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,245
- ..racist.
- Racist, yeah.
139
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,960
- Oh, is it me or is it hot?
- It's never bloody hot in this country.
140
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,405
Did I mention my dad's a trained sniper?
141
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,015
Baggy...
142
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,440
Well, look who it is.
143
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,570
Oh!
144
00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:23,160
Welcome home, Terence.
145
00:07:28,634 --> 00:07:30,679
So, where is this DJ equipment then?
146
00:07:30,715 --> 00:07:32,379
In the back of the van.
147
00:07:33,823 --> 00:07:35,383
Huh?
148
00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:37,498
Well, why are we here?
149
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:43,285
Because you are going to invite
your Kerry and ask her to the party.
150
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,998
- Yeah, yeah.
- Really?
151
00:07:45,034 --> 00:07:48,919
Yes, but don't take long otherwise
your mama will make my life very bad.
152
00:07:49,098 --> 00:07:52,978
You remember the time she threw the
cups at me? It almost hit my head.
153
00:07:53,895 --> 00:07:55,300
Hey, er...
154
00:07:55,961 --> 00:07:57,632
do you know what to say to her?
155
00:07:57,668 --> 00:07:59,473
No! Help me, please!
156
00:07:59,509 --> 00:08:01,313
OK, OK. Don't worry.
157
00:08:01,349 --> 00:08:02,989
Uncle Vali has got this.
158
00:08:04,078 --> 00:08:07,558
OK, OK, er, I will be your Kerry,
huh? Hm?
159
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,085
Mm! Hello, Kobna.
160
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,854
How are you today?
161
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,992
OK, this is weird.
162
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:18,042
All right. How about...
..I do this voice then?
163
00:08:18,078 --> 00:08:19,084
That's even worse.
164
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,433
Oh, just ask me to the
party, house boy. Come on.
165
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,365
OK, er...
Do you want to go to the party?
166
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,405
No, no, no, not like this.
167
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,765
Compliment me.
168
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,020
How do I smell?
169
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,805
- Mm, you smell nice.
- Ooh, cheeky.
170
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,965
- Thank you.
- Did you have a bath this mor...
171
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,400
- Oh, this is stupid.
- OK, OK. OK, OK.
172
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,445
Ah, I can see that these skills
173
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,760
are too advanced for a
house boy of your age.
174
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,965
Just go in there and be yourself.
175
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,365
Kobna, you are a nice young man
176
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,192
- and she will see that. Huh?
- All right.
177
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,895
I'll make tea.
178
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,925
We haven't got anything
exotic, I'm afraid.
179
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,126
OK.
180
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:15,811
Are you all right?
181
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,404
No, I'm not all right.
Your racist dad has a gun.
182
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,110
- Yeah, but he's just put it down.
- That doesn't make me feel better.
183
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:24,513
Kettle's on.
184
00:09:24,954 --> 00:09:28,237
Would you like me to see if
next door have a can of Lilt?
185
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,405
Oh, I see you got the invitation.
186
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,685
Oh, yes!
187
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,645
An adoption party!
188
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,116
How um...
189
00:09:39,993 --> 00:09:41,038
modern.
190
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,280
Anything you want to say, Bagpipes?
191
00:09:45,648 --> 00:09:48,013
No. Uh-huh.
192
00:09:48,428 --> 00:09:51,428
Well, you've got a lovely place.
193
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,085
- It's like Hamleys.
- So glad you like it!
194
00:09:55,370 --> 00:09:57,165
Fancy a quick tour?
195
00:09:57,531 --> 00:10:00,685
Take you to the bedroom and
stick with my wife an' all.
196
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,598
Get the full Delacroix set.
197
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,965
What? You must be joking, man.
198
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,965
I mean, you're lovely,
you're very beautiful, but...
199
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,280
That your modus operandi, is it?
200
00:10:11,005 --> 00:10:14,824
Woo them with sweet talk?
And get them up the spouts!
201
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,880
Er... Take care of yourself, Dorothy.
202
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,845
Wh... Er...
203
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,885
I don't know what you think but er...
204
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,127
Well, hold on.
205
00:10:24,851 --> 00:10:28,136
- He's not Melissa's father.
- I'm not Melissa's father.
206
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,320
No. Unless there's something
you're not telling me.
207
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,485
- Now's not the time.
- Yeah. No.
208
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,455
- This is Walter. From Sierra Leone.
- Mm-hm.
209
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,517
Oh.
210
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,125
Oh, I do apologise, Walter.
211
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,445
That is no way to treat
a guest to our home.
212
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:49,325
It's no way to treat a guest from
another country, for that matter.
213
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,045
Er, so, um...
214
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,485
..the... the party.
215
00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:55,553
Er, yes.
216
00:10:55,871 --> 00:10:59,196
Er, well, unfortunately,
217
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,344
Malcolm has to go to um...
er... Folkestone...
218
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:03,285
Hospital.
219
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,405
..Folkestone Hospital that day...
220
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,800
- to have his knee...
- Hearing aid.
221
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,372
Fixed. Damn thing.
222
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:11,658
Ouch.
223
00:11:14,927 --> 00:11:16,439
The party's today.
224
00:11:32,595 --> 00:11:35,240
Why the bloody hell
aren't the decorations up?
225
00:11:35,275 --> 00:11:37,960
- Why aren't the directions up?
- I don't do heights.
226
00:11:37,995 --> 00:11:40,280
- He doesn't do heights.
- It's only 9ft.
227
00:11:40,315 --> 00:11:41,800
Well, it's only 9ft.
228
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:44,520
- Let you do it, man.
- Let you do it, man.
229
00:11:44,555 --> 00:11:46,032
BOTH: Shut up.
230
00:11:46,875 --> 00:11:48,880
OK, so the left one needs to go up a bit
231
00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:51,760
and you need at least two or three
232
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:54,080
over the other um... the other um...
233
00:11:54,115 --> 00:11:56,275
Yeah. Maybe four. Four.
234
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:59,520
- Don't poke it.
- Why? No.
235
00:11:59,805 --> 00:12:01,228
Dean, no looking.
236
00:12:02,915 --> 00:12:04,995
Can I have six packets of nuts, please?
237
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:12,280
Mm!
238
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,752
You smell.
239
00:12:15,955 --> 00:12:18,955
- Nice! You smell nice.
- OK.
240
00:12:20,995 --> 00:12:23,024
- Wanna get me another coke?
- No.
241
00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:24,060
Oh.
242
00:12:24,102 --> 00:12:26,160
Sorry. I mean, I can't.
243
00:12:26,195 --> 00:12:28,840
I have to get back
for this family party.
244
00:12:29,368 --> 00:12:30,960
- Boring.
- Yeah.
245
00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:32,390
Really boring.
246
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,360
Apart from the music. And the food.
247
00:12:35,395 --> 00:12:37,800
- Mum's made fish balls. They're wicked.
- Ah.
248
00:12:37,835 --> 00:12:40,720
I didn't know fish had balls.
249
00:12:42,235 --> 00:12:44,316
- Good one!
- Are you all right?
250
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:49,040
My uncle told me to laugh at your
jokes, especially the bad ones.
251
00:12:49,075 --> 00:12:50,030
Oh, shit.
252
00:12:50,066 --> 00:12:53,000
So... are we going to
this party then or what?
253
00:12:53,035 --> 00:12:54,915
Eh? You wanna come?
254
00:12:57,874 --> 00:13:02,199
All right, calm down. It's not like
I've kissed you... yet.
255
00:13:02,235 --> 00:13:04,400
Time is over.
You need to get in my van now.
256
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,480
Argh! Stranger danger!
257
00:13:06,515 --> 00:13:09,555
What is this?
'Ey, Kobna, what did you say to her?
258
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,070
Oh, that's just reminded me.
259
00:13:16,106 --> 00:13:18,729
Can you pick up a box of
Shrimpy Snacks from Valentine's?
260
00:13:18,955 --> 00:13:23,040
- What is Shrimpy Snacks?
- Like, er, fishy breakfast cereal.
261
00:13:23,075 --> 00:13:25,240
Do not smell them.
262
00:13:25,275 --> 00:13:27,195
Er, Mr...
263
00:13:27,835 --> 00:13:29,840
- Daddy.
- Daddy.
264
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,875
Would you mind putting out the food...
265
00:13:33,927 --> 00:13:35,887
that I've prepared?
266
00:13:36,823 --> 00:13:39,183
Please?
267
00:13:40,135 --> 00:13:42,542
_
268
00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:44,435
_
269
00:13:45,715 --> 00:13:47,008
He says er...
270
00:13:47,755 --> 00:13:49,760
he can't wait to try it all.
271
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:51,715
Aw. Yum.
272
00:13:52,155 --> 00:13:54,115
Aw!
273
00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:57,912
That is very nice.
274
00:13:58,715 --> 00:14:01,960
Oh, thank you. That's one of mine.
275
00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:02,963
Mm.
276
00:14:03,595 --> 00:14:07,040
- The model was nude.
- Well, as is the custom.
277
00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,710
But I popped a twinset on her.
278
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:13,320
I can't have all that gawping down at me
279
00:14:13,355 --> 00:14:15,435
when I'm trying to watch The Equalizer.
280
00:14:18,235 --> 00:14:19,846
Right, I've had enough of this.
281
00:14:20,355 --> 00:14:23,760
- I'll see you in five years.
- Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no.
282
00:14:24,326 --> 00:14:25,800
You can't leave, man.
283
00:14:26,037 --> 00:14:27,957
Look at them. They're not young.
284
00:14:29,155 --> 00:14:30,483
They might die.
285
00:14:32,275 --> 00:14:34,235
We can hear you, you know.
286
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,635
I'm sorry. You know,
287
00:14:39,035 --> 00:14:42,800
when my father was ill, I had just
moved to England from Sierra Leone
288
00:14:42,835 --> 00:14:45,035
and my mother didn't
tell me how bad it was.
289
00:14:45,235 --> 00:14:47,420
So I said, "I'm gonna go
back and see him."
290
00:14:47,456 --> 00:14:50,430
I just wanted to make some
money and settle in, you know?
291
00:14:51,395 --> 00:14:53,480
And the next time I saw him, well,
292
00:14:53,515 --> 00:14:56,040
- it was his funeral.
- Oh.
293
00:14:56,075 --> 00:14:58,160
I never got the chance to say goodbye.
294
00:14:58,195 --> 00:15:00,480
I would do anything
to speak to him again.
295
00:15:00,821 --> 00:15:02,960
And you are lucky, Bagpipes.
You are here.
296
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,197
You should speak before...
297
00:15:06,435 --> 00:15:07,497
..you know.
298
00:15:08,555 --> 00:15:10,960
I think what Walter's
trying to say is...
299
00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:13,840
when did you two become such racists?!
300
00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:16,048
Eh? What?
No, I'm not trying to say that.
301
00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:17,960
I never had you down as racist.
302
00:15:17,995 --> 00:15:21,480
A bit xenophobic towards the French,
maybe, who isn't,
303
00:15:21,515 --> 00:15:22,870
but racist?
304
00:15:22,906 --> 00:15:24,840
Don't be silly.
305
00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:28,600
Ever since Melissa's been born,
you've had nothing to do with us.
306
00:15:28,635 --> 00:15:31,155
Just because she's... You know, she's...
307
00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:36,920
- Half... Yeah... Half... Mixed.
- Not... You know, not white.
308
00:15:36,955 --> 00:15:39,600
Darling! That's not the reason.
309
00:15:39,635 --> 00:15:41,920
We've got no axe to
grind against Melissa.
310
00:15:41,955 --> 00:15:43,290
No, it...
311
00:15:43,795 --> 00:15:46,669
It's Kirsty, love. She's...
312
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,898
Well, she's...
313
00:15:49,235 --> 00:15:52,183
Well, she... she's a slut!
314
00:15:54,675 --> 00:15:58,315
- Would you mind leaving us a moment?
- Yeah, of course. I'll leave you to it.
315
00:16:01,715 --> 00:16:05,115
Hm. What are these Shrimpy Snacks, huh?
316
00:16:06,795 --> 00:16:09,395
Hey, Valentine, this place is a mess.
317
00:16:12,675 --> 00:16:15,555
Agnes, you will not
organise his kitchen.
318
00:16:19,155 --> 00:16:22,080
Valentine.
How can you live like this, huh?
319
00:16:23,555 --> 00:16:26,315
I don't believe it.
Look what you have done to my top.
320
00:16:26,351 --> 00:16:30,311
This is my lucky top. Now I'm going
to be late. What will your daddy say?
321
00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:33,920
We...
322
00:16:33,955 --> 00:16:35,960
just couldn't stand...
323
00:16:36,327 --> 00:16:39,000
seeing you with that sort of woman.
324
00:16:39,035 --> 00:16:41,560
We did worry when you got married.
325
00:16:41,847 --> 00:16:43,600
She seemed so young.
326
00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:46,640
Never trust anyone under 40.
327
00:16:46,675 --> 00:16:51,480
But she seemed a lovely
wife and mother until...
328
00:16:51,515 --> 00:16:53,720
- The event.
- What?
329
00:16:53,755 --> 00:16:56,760
Making you raise another man's child.
330
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,924
I couldn't watch you going
through that sort of humiliation.
331
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,765
But... I wasn't humiliated.
332
00:17:05,995 --> 00:17:08,147
Well, you should bloody
well have been, son.
333
00:17:09,555 --> 00:17:11,092
OK, well...
334
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,226
yeah, I was...
335
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,115
when Melissa was tiny.
336
00:17:16,795 --> 00:17:17,921
Yeah.
337
00:17:18,315 --> 00:17:22,262
I definitely hated Kirsty for a while.
338
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,358
I nearly left once.
339
00:17:28,054 --> 00:17:30,534
Well, why didn't you say something?
340
00:17:31,155 --> 00:17:33,348
Well, it's not the sort of
thing you talk about, is it?
341
00:17:34,155 --> 00:17:37,920
"How was your Christmas?"
"Oh, great. New pair of socks.
342
00:17:37,955 --> 00:17:41,915
Walked out on my family. Broke my
kids' hearts. So, a mixed bag."
343
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:45,715
But then I saw 'em on the sofa and...
344
00:17:46,835 --> 00:17:50,600
Kirsty with a silly
bloody grin on her face
345
00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:53,480
and... the kids all cuddled up,
346
00:17:53,515 --> 00:17:56,008
all laughing watching The Two Ronnies.
347
00:17:56,355 --> 00:17:59,475
I thought, I can't say,
"It's goodbye from me."
348
00:18:00,475 --> 00:18:02,435
You know? I couldn't do it to 'em,
349
00:18:03,195 --> 00:18:05,115
no matter how shitty it made me feel.
350
00:18:07,784 --> 00:18:09,462
Melissa's my little girl.
351
00:18:10,075 --> 00:18:11,483
She's beautiful.
352
00:18:11,955 --> 00:18:13,535
She makes me so...
353
00:18:13,791 --> 00:18:15,250
so happy.
354
00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:20,257
If the cost of
having her in my life is...
355
00:18:20,955 --> 00:18:25,676
some meaningless bunk-up
from five years ago,
356
00:18:26,995 --> 00:18:28,985
that's a price worth paying, isn't it?
357
00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:31,440
Yeah.
358
00:18:31,708 --> 00:18:33,753
That little girl deserves
359
00:18:33,789 --> 00:18:36,669
to have her granny and her grandad
at her party.
360
00:18:37,635 --> 00:18:39,348
So...
361
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:42,556
..are you coming or what?
362
00:18:44,595 --> 00:18:46,795
- Stop moving the food!
- You call this food?
363
00:18:46,831 --> 00:18:48,524
I wouldn't feed it to my enemies.
364
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,840
Which one?
There are so many to choose from.
365
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:53,332
No, don't say this to me.
366
00:18:53,368 --> 00:18:55,200
Er, right, everyone.
367
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:58,680
Hello, everyone.
368
00:18:58,715 --> 00:19:00,272
Oi!
369
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:04,880
This sodding party starts
in ten sodding minutes.
370
00:19:04,915 --> 00:19:09,200
So, I want you lot to do
exactly as I say... or else.
371
00:19:09,494 --> 00:19:10,600
Understand?
372
00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:13,080
- Er...
- Don't you dare.
373
00:19:15,115 --> 00:19:17,480
All right. Respect.
374
00:19:17,515 --> 00:19:19,435
- Should we put it?
- Yeah, yeah.
375
00:19:28,675 --> 00:19:30,035
Wait.
376
00:19:30,755 --> 00:19:32,235
Oye.
377
00:19:33,355 --> 00:19:34,894
The cleaning fairies?
378
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,235
Ahh. Hey hey!
379
00:19:42,155 --> 00:19:46,320
Hello. Now, I want to introduce you
to Granny and Grandad.
380
00:19:46,355 --> 00:19:48,395
- Isn't she lovely?
- Hello.
381
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,155
Mmm!
382
00:19:59,755 --> 00:20:02,400
Look at the way she's
flirting with Kobna.
383
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,006
- Aggie, leave this boy.
- But Walter...
384
00:20:05,042 --> 00:20:06,360
No, no. There's nothing you can do.
385
00:20:06,395 --> 00:20:09,000
Listen, a fishing pool is for fishing.
386
00:20:09,035 --> 00:20:10,955
Hey! Thank you, sister.
387
00:20:11,154 --> 00:20:13,022
My flat is looking very amazing, eh?
388
00:20:13,058 --> 00:20:16,359
I don't know what you're talking about.
389
00:20:16,395 --> 00:20:18,560
She's joking, right?
390
00:20:18,595 --> 00:20:21,840
Oh, it's a lovely do, Kirsty.
391
00:20:21,875 --> 00:20:27,160
Come and do our next regimental
reunion and karaoke night.
392
00:20:27,195 --> 00:20:29,600
I'll show you my Shakin' Stevens.
393
00:20:29,635 --> 00:20:33,480
No-one wants to see you
shaking anything, Malcolm.
394
00:20:33,515 --> 00:20:36,360
What, so do this? For money?
395
00:20:36,395 --> 00:20:38,440
- What else?
- Oh, my God.
396
00:20:38,857 --> 00:20:41,657
Well, that's it.
Bagpipes, that's what I'm gonna do.
397
00:20:41,995 --> 00:20:45,400
- I'm gonna start my own business.
- Eh?
398
00:20:45,606 --> 00:20:47,486
Oh, shit.
399
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,760
- Where would they be without you, eh?
- Essex.
400
00:20:56,075 --> 00:20:59,040
'Ey, look at the house boy.
401
00:20:59,075 --> 00:21:00,563
But you know what?
402
00:21:01,413 --> 00:21:05,040
- I miss my mama.
- Oh, me too, brother.
403
00:21:05,075 --> 00:21:07,280
Hey. Me too, man. 'Ey.
404
00:21:11,955 --> 00:21:14,320
♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪
405
00:21:14,355 --> 00:21:16,400
Hey, hey, 'up. Hey, 'up.
406
00:21:16,435 --> 00:21:18,480
- ♪ We are family ♪
- Pass the ball. Pass the ball.
407
00:21:18,515 --> 00:21:20,520
Hey! Pass the ball.
408
00:21:20,555 --> 00:21:22,475
♪ Get up, everybody, and sing ♪
409
00:21:24,715 --> 00:21:26,915
♪ We are family ♪
410
00:21:28,515 --> 00:21:31,200
♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪
411
00:21:31,235 --> 00:21:33,880
Pass the ball. Pass the ball.
Pass the ball.
412
00:21:33,915 --> 00:21:35,835
♪ We are family ♪
413
00:21:37,035 --> 00:21:39,755
♪ Get up, everybody, and sing ♪
414
00:21:41,195 --> 00:21:43,635
♪ We are family... ♪
415
00:21:47,992 --> 00:21:50,992
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
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