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1
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♪ Here we are
2
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,510
♪ such good friends
3
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:47,580
♪ reunited once again
4
00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:53,319
♪ been through good times
5
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,855
♪ through the bad
6
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,793
♪ you've been family
I've never had ♪
7
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,899
♪ Could we be friends
and lovers? ♪
8
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:09,536
♪ You know me like no other ♪
9
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:13,573
♪ Would we ruin it all
with a kiss? ♪
10
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:18,845
♪ We have stuck through
11
00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:21,514
♪ thick and thin
12
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:26,686
♪ ooh, with eyes of love
you look within ♪
13
00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:31,624
♪ Still remain here
14
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,527
♪ by my side
15
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:38,798
♪ but now feelings stir
I cannot hide ♪
16
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,937
♪ Could we be friends
and lovers? ♪
17
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:46,673
♪ Who knows, we might discover ♪
18
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:49,642
♪ A much deeper love than this ♪
19
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:53,680
♪ Find the thing
we've always missed... ♪
20
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,616
Merry Christmas, sir.
21
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,351
Merry Christmas.
22
00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:00,529
Can you show me your most
handsome scotch pines, please?
23
00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:02,789
Sure. right there next
to the Douglas fir.
24
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,558
Ah, thank you.
25
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,793
Mm!
26
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:09,295
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
27
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,499
[Sniffs] mm! mm mm mm!
28
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:16,836
What are you doing, Ian?
29
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,638
I've decided
we're not gonna have
30
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,207
a long-needle, short-needle
thing again this year.
31
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,443
It's gonna be long needle.
32
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,611
Mm!
33
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:25,945
We have it every year.
34
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,514
Well, it's at
my house. My choice.
35
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,657
Next year, your
house, your choice.
36
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:30,250
Ok. one vote for long needle.
37
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,385
Ok. the one vote that counts.
38
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,554
That's the thing about
living in a democracy.
39
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:35,822
Republic.
40
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,557
Yeah, it always
comes down to one thing
41
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:38,992
and one vote,
and you always lose.
42
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,360
Hey, this is a good one.
43
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,595
That's right. Now put it back.
44
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,902
Supposed to try it
with the breadcrumbs.
45
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,446
No, it's the creamy
soup that makes it...
46
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,704
Hello!
47
00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:52,906
Hello. merry Christmas.
48
00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,274
Promise me one thing?
49
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:55,408
[Together] maybe. maybe.
50
00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:56,585
That we will still be friends
51
00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,611
no matter what tree we pick.
52
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,847
Children... merry Christmas.
53
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,615
Oh, god, look at this one.
54
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,792
This is great. This is perfect.
This is the one.
55
00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:05,652
All: we hate long needles!
56
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,853
Just don't like them.
57
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,454
Stop.
58
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,957
Just stop. It's an ugly tree.
59
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,892
Ho ho ho!
60
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,460
Look at this.
61
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:15,728
Nice uni.
62
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,864
I'm a ho.
63
00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:19,499
You're rotten, Jon.
64
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,934
Check this out.
65
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,670
I wish it was Christmas
all year long.
66
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,772
Tell you, the Santa claus uni
67
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:28,408
is the ultimate magnet.
68
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:29,776
Forget about that whole thing
69
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,744
with the sheeps
in wolf clothing.
70
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,546
Did you get a number, Jon?
71
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,558
I would've got her number,
but the husband came back.
72
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,450
Oh, those pesky husbands.
73
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,619
Exactly. heh heh heh!
74
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:44,390
Santa, Santa!
Did you get my letter?
75
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,326
Well, of course I did, angel.
76
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:49,362
Now... where's your mommy?
77
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,434
Jon: yecch.
78
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:58,304
Ok, thank you very much, honey.
That's good.
79
00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:01,841
Didn't you get it? I sent
it to the north pole.
80
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:05,044
Well, you know, Santa's
been very, very busy.
81
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,914
Very good. Now go on and
scram out of here. Go on.
82
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:10,383
No, no, no, no!
83
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:15,955
All right, now listen, kid.
84
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,491
I ain't Santa claus, and
there is no Santa claus,
85
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:21,394
so you want something,
you go ask your mom.
86
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,962
Now scram.
87
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,433
You're unbelievable.
88
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,936
You are so mean-spirited!
89
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:32,538
♪ Want to spend some time ♪
90
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:36,609
♪ In another universe
91
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:39,445
♪ leaving things behind ♪
92
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:42,615
♪ Far away from sister moon... ♪
93
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:45,318
[All laughing and chattering]
94
00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:49,756
No, no, no! That
corner's all wrong.
95
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,791
We always put it in there.
96
00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:53,559
Man: you're really good
with children, Jon.
97
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,028
Ian: right there.
Right over there.
98
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:56,929
Woman: don't hurt the tree.
99
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,108
Man: just stick it in the hole.
You know how to do that.
100
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,800
Ha ha.
101
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,911
Know what? I think this is
gonna be our best tree ever.
102
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,103
What do you got to eat?
103
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,505
Look in the fridge.
104
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,474
[Telephone rings]
105
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,543
I'll get it. No, no! Let
the machine get it.
106
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:11,911
I'll get it!
107
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:14,714
Who are you avoiding?
We're all here.
108
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,683
I'm not avoiding anyone.
Could be the office.
109
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,160
I don't want them to get ahold of
me till we get the tree trimmed.
110
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:21,054
Ian on machine:
Hi. It's Ian. I'm not in.
111
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,098
If you don't leave a message, I can't
call you back. [Machine beeps]
112
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,667
Man on machine:
Ian, this is your father.
113
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:27,093
I'm sorry to bother you,
but I need to know
114
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:28,937
whether you and your
friends are coming skiing.
115
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,697
There's something that I...
116
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,632
That I have to say,
117
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,133
and I would feel
more comfortable
118
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,644
telling you in person,
if that's all right.
119
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,603
So, I look forward to your call.
120
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,138
[Machine beeps]
121
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,743
You really want to go?
122
00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:46,646
What part of free skiing
didn't you understand?
123
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,691
Wait a minute. I thought you and
your father weren't speaking.
124
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,883
We speak. A little.
125
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,819
What? he just calls you
out of the blue?
126
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,620
Look, he calls every 6 months.
127
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,031
It's no big deal.
Let's get that tree trimmed.
128
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,890
I'll start dinner!
129
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,859
So, then, Ian,
if you do see your dad
130
00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:01,861
or you don't see your dad,
it's no biggie?
131
00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,463
Yeah. that's what I'm saying.
132
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,573
Great. when are we leaving?
133
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:05,965
Man: Jon.
134
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:07,476
Well, I mean, isn't
this an opportunity
135
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,768
for, you know, your dad and you
136
00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,670
to kind of kiss and make up?
137
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,772
You guys are taking this
thing way too seriously.
138
00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,107
No, no, no. I'm with Lisa.
139
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,109
I mean, he did call, right?
140
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:18,010
So he made a call. Whoopee.
141
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,513
My birthday was 2 months ago.
Did he call then?
142
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,881
Send a letter? Anything?
143
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,149
No.
144
00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:24,984
And which I'm cool with, right.
145
00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:26,228
I worked my way through college
waiting tables.
146
00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:27,754
Did he show up
for my graduation?
147
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,122
Man: no.
148
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:30,923
But he offered you the money.
149
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:31,958
You wouldn't take it.
150
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,693
Free skiing!
151
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,862
Come on, Ian. He's your father.
152
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,131
Hey, guys, I have a great life.
153
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,565
I started my own business.
154
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,134
We started our own business.
155
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:44,036
Sorry. we started
our own business.
156
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,805
Besides, I have you guys.
157
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,607
Look...
158
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,041
[Whispering] ...very much.
159
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,977
I don't ski.
I don't like the cold.
160
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,780
I don't like fathers in
general, mine in particular.
161
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,615
Well, at least
all of you know...
162
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,150
All: who your father is.
163
00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:00,086
[Laughing] fuck all of you.
164
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:03,556
However, I think we should go.
165
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,825
Come on. You can't seriously
be thinking of doing this.
166
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:07,193
Free skiing!
167
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,861
Jon!
168
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,062
What?
169
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:14,567
It ain't gonna happen,
all right?
170
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,203
You know, I think you're taking
this really, really well.
171
00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:20,606
Yeah. I don't know why I
didn't think of this before.
172
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,141
All I have to do is go up there,
173
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,076
let him talk at me a little bit,
174
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,021
take my lumps, we get the
run of the place, right?
175
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:28,514
We're golden. Free skiing
maybe all winter, huh?
176
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,750
Nothing but the best
for my good buddy.
177
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:31,918
Hey, jonny!
178
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,724
I'll put any amount
on this one, fellas.
179
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,528
Ian: ah.
180
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,197
Ugly.
181
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:51,003
I don't know, Jon. She seems
way out of your league.
182
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,772
Yeah, she almost
seems, you know,
183
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,842
too pretty to imagine
the act, so...
184
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,643
Hell, I wouldn't be
able to get a chubby,
185
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,078
let alone maintain it.
186
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:02,215
Liar. all bets are on.
187
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,083
So, let me take your bag.
188
00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:05,751
No, no, no, I'm cool. I got it.
189
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,623
Um, Ian. You're coming, right?
190
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,034
I mean, you're not gonna
pull one of your...
191
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:15,761
No, I just need to know
I got a way to go,
192
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,163
I gotta go. You know?
193
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:18,731
Right on.
194
00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:20,166
Take care.
195
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:32,278
You are so...
196
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,048
Mmh!
197
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:39,585
Jon. [chuckles]
198
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,087
Uh, Jon.
199
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,856
I'm sorry. Can I get a hug?
200
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,658
Ok.
201
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,226
Great.
202
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,327
Unh!
203
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,763
Ow! the hair!
204
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:53,032
Ok. well, mind your manners.
205
00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:54,734
Of course.
206
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,136
I'm sorry.
207
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,392
Now, hold on.
208
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:20,826
What?
209
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,862
Well, you didn't get a lover
210
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,797
when I said I'm come along.
211
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,198
You got a model.
212
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,600
I see.
213
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,604
Are you really a photographer?
214
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,176
Are you kidding me?
215
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:39,812
Ok.
216
00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,814
I'm absolutely a photographer.
217
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,182
Mm-hmm.
218
00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:46,319
There she is. Right on time.
219
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,323
Oh, my god.
220
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,391
Hey, big brother!
221
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,093
Little sister!
222
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,896
Big sister.
223
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,764
You look very, uh...
224
00:09:58,798 --> 00:09:59,899
Pregnant. yeah.
225
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,133
Oh, man, do you think?
226
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,135
God, I thought I was
just getting fat
227
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:04,870
and had a mean case
of indigestion.
228
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,305
Heh heh heh!
229
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,708
I told you there was something
230
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:09,942
I wanted to talk to you about.
231
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,277
No shit.
232
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,045
Greetings from home.
233
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:14,146
I'll bet.
234
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,125
Well, I'm not really a model.
235
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:28,427
I can't ski. I don't know
any of your friends.
236
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,196
I mean, what am I doing here?
237
00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:33,132
This is gonna be great.
You'll see.
238
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:36,202
Come on. This is gonna be great.
239
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,175
Baby.
240
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,377
Keaton, jeez.
241
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,879
Dad took this better than you.
242
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:48,414
All right, explain that again.
243
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:51,217
What, that I.U.D.S
aren't 100% reliable?
244
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:55,921
No, the part about not telling
the father he's the father.
245
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:58,124
Well, you seem to have heard me.
246
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,458
I heard her.
247
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,194
What you're doing
is totally unfair.
248
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,763
No, it's not.
249
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:06,032
She told him.
250
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:09,268
I asked him if he wanted
to have a child with me,
251
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,404
and he said no.
252
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,239
That's not the same thing
253
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,007
as telling him you're
gonna have his child.
254
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,910
It's not his child.
It's their child.
255
00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:19,383
Hey, I don't need
some guy to tell me
256
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,746
to go get an abortion.
257
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,381
So you're happy about the baby?
258
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,383
Ecstatic.
259
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,085
That's great.
260
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:32,324
[German accent] Shit!
261
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,327
4,000 deutsche marks,
and I'm stranded!
262
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:39,231
[Screaming in German]
263
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,044
Hey, fella!
264
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,846
Ja?
265
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,115
Which way is timber Ridge road?
266
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,184
It's that way... oh!
267
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,519
Bitte, mein auto is
totaled, is dead,
268
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,221
and I'm stranded,
269
00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:03,823
so please give me
a ride into town.
270
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:07,460
I'll show you the way. Please?
271
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,296
Yeah, sure. Come on, get in.
272
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:12,064
Danke.
273
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,036
[Shouting in German]
274
00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:23,476
Oh, how serendipitous.
275
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,845
I need ride,
and you need directions.
276
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,347
My name is hans.
277
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:30,883
Hello, hans. I'm Jon.
This is Carla.
278
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:33,152
Hello, Jon. Helllooo, Carla.
279
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,990
Oh, timber Ridge road is
just up here a little ways,
280
00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:39,225
a little bit
281
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,361
around the bend and so forth.
282
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,833
[Speaking German]
283
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,301
I'm from Bavaria.
284
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,912
Where from in Deutschland
do you hail, sweet?
285
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:51,937
From stuttgart.
286
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,472
Stuttgart. so marvelous!
287
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,608
Which way am I going, please?
288
00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:57,919
You just right, left. I'll show
you how to get there, sweetie.
289
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,279
Thanks for the ride.
I was so stranded.
290
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:06,252
So, my car is so much
troubles lately, a little...
291
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,888
Why don't you sit back a
little there, hans, and relax.
292
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,389
Ok, pal? Thanks.
293
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:12,091
Be nice. How much fun
can you have
294
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,160
when your car breaks down?
295
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,462
Don't worry.
I'm sure it's only minor.
296
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:19,298
Oh, my god. She has got
the most beautiful hands.
297
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:22,635
Which is interesting because my
name is also strangely hans.
298
00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:24,136
I learned from my grandmother
299
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,172
back in schwarzwald...
In baden-baden.
300
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,873
How to read palms
a long time ago.
301
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,484
It's just a little skill
that I still possess.
302
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,010
Really? yes.
303
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,178
Can you read mine?
304
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,946
Yes, I'd be happy to.
305
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,524
Do you want to know the
present or the future?
306
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,316
The future.
307
00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:40,052
Very well. This here
is your lifeline.
308
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:42,421
Look down here. See how
this arcs around like this?
309
00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:44,256
This is your lifeline.
You have good, long,
310
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,292
long, long life.
311
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,460
Strong stock.
312
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,238
But I see here on the
loveline there's a break,
313
00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,064
which means many things.
314
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,266
What you think might happen
is not going to happen,
315
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,570
and perhaps something
else will happen.
316
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,075
You know, I thought for sure
317
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,386
you'd have, like,
a bonehead bavarian
318
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,644
in your immediate future.
319
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,217
Jon, behave. Come on.
320
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:13,552
I also see here finally...
321
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:16,522
Oh! funf kinder! 5
little children.
322
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,357
Not with you, hans.
Now sit back and relax.
323
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,559
Jon! what?
324
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,928
He's from Europe.
325
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:25,240
I mean, you can't expect him
to act like a normal American.
326
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:28,167
You're not really going for
this bullshit are you?
327
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,935
What?
328
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,638
You know what? Forget it.
329
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,311
Just let's forget it.
I'm gonna pull over.
330
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:35,975
I'd like you to get out.
Ok there, hans?
331
00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,509
I do something wrong?
332
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,383
I want you out of my
fucking car, ok, bavarian?
333
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:40,713
Have you gone nuts?
334
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,514
This is unbelievable.
335
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,483
You want this guy coming on to you?
Is that it?
336
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:47,653
He's not coming
on to me. Are you?
337
00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,497
Jon, I wasn't coming on to
her in the slightest, Jon.
338
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,023
Sit back, buddy!
339
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,291
You're crazy.
340
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:55,327
I'm crazy? You're crazy.
341
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,361
What, do you think this
wacko is cute or something?
342
00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,665
Yeah, he's cute.
343
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,100
Ooh!
344
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,167
Cute, my ass!
345
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,505
Hans: Jon, did I do
something wrong to Jon?
346
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:08,040
Get out.
347
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,009
Right, thanks.
348
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,320
Kiss mein arschloch!
349
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,557
Ha ha! She likes me better.
350
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,459
He can't handle it.
351
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,028
Hans read her hands.
352
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,496
Now she wants me in her pants.
353
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,264
♪ Swim the deepest ocean
354
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:36,101
♪ just to see you smile
355
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:40,239
♪ scale the highest mountain,
touch the sky ♪
356
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:44,576
♪ For you I cross a desert
357
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,047
♪ walk for miles and miles
358
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:53,585
♪ just to wipe a tear
from your eye ♪
359
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:59,458
♪ Baby, I'd do
anything for you... ♪
360
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,698
You know, keat? Hmm?
361
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:08,434
I've been thinking. Maybe, you
could fix me up with Ian.
362
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,768
Oh, score.
363
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,737
That's not funny.
364
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,548
I'm not joking. I've seen
the way he looks at me.
365
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:14,749
He looks at everyone that way.
366
00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,175
Does not. He does too.
367
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,443
Does not. Hello!
368
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,111
Look! that's lan's father.
369
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,384
How you doing, Mr. wickham?
370
00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:27,119
Hi. Keaton.
371
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,221
Oh, yes. Keaton. Ian's
told me about you.
372
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:30,656
Now, Richard, ok?
Call me Richard.
373
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:31,824
No Ian?
374
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,125
He's driving himself.
375
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,259
All right.
376
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,461
This is Lisa,
377
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,162
and this is my sister Jane.
378
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:38,364
She's pregnant.
379
00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:39,531
Great.
380
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,300
I have heard so much about you.
381
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,544
Oh, thank you. I'm so
glad you could come.
382
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,770
My... oh, you... you are pregnant!
383
00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:47,106
Let's get you inside and
comfortable, all right?
384
00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:48,283
There's a beautiful fireplace.
385
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:49,475
Oh, yummy.
386
00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:53,345
He doesn't seem
so horrible to me.
387
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,647
Everybody's parents are
great except your own.
388
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,583
Richard: for you.
389
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,318
Hi, guys!
390
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,186
All: hey!
391
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,721
Hi, there. I'm Jon.
392
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,858
Welcome. I'm Richard,
and merry Christmas.
393
00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:07,635
Thank you, Richard. Merry
Christmas to you, too.
394
00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:08,694
And you are?
395
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,129
Carla. nice to meet you.
396
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,765
This is my new friend Carla.
397
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,166
Hi, Carla.
398
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,768
Can I interest you
in a glass of wine.
399
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,304
Real cork or a plastic cap?
400
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:22,274
It's mouton rothschild '75.
401
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:25,477
1975? wow. Where'd you get that?
402
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:26,845
Oh, didn't Ian tell you?
403
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,680
Well, I'm in the business.
404
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,150
All right, a toast.
This'll be on me.
405
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,552
To friends and family.
406
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,255
All: hear, hear.
407
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,690
Or anything resembling.
408
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,495
Keaton!
409
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,130
What? be careful.
410
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:47,166
That's very sensitive
equipment. Please!
411
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,444
Jon, I don't even know why you're
bringing all this crap, anyway.
412
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:51,270
We didn't even take
a group photo last year.
413
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:52,514
Well, we're going to
take one this year.
414
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,473
And something else.
415
00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:56,484
You're gonna want to get in
on this thing about Carla.
416
00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:58,811
I'm telling you, I have a sixth
sense about these matters.
417
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:01,380
She's at least an inch
and a half, maybe 2.
418
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,817
I promise you, the woman
needs a nipple-ectomy.
419
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:07,753
God!
420
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,288
What?
421
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:11,690
I've got an aerobics
instructor inside there.
422
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:12,791
Ooh.
423
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,193
Yeah.
424
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:15,527
You're so brave.
425
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,529
Really?
426
00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,165
Yeah. I mean, having a child, I
would not know where to start.
427
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,800
Oh, starting,
that's the easy part.
428
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,769
You just gotta lie there
for about 60 seconds,
429
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,737
and then you're
well on your way.
430
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,372
I see.
431
00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:32,544
Could I ask you
something embarrassing?
432
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,246
The answer is yes.
433
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,814
Hemorrhoids and flatulence
434
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,816
will become your friends
during pregnancy.
435
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,551
Ok, well...
436
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,424
Well, I don't understand.
I mean, why...
437
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,860
Why am I such
a magnet for losers?
438
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:50,662
Well, there's no shortage
of losers in the world.
439
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,500
Ohh.
440
00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:57,236
Do you think Jon is a loser?
441
00:18:57,269 --> 00:19:00,239
No, I'm afraid
I'm not much of a cook.
442
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,374
My wife took care
of most of that.
443
00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:04,276
Oh, I'm sorry to hear
about her passing.
444
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:07,813
Oh. this house
was her pride and joy.
445
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:11,216
And Ian, oh, he always
loved this place.
446
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,219
Right, right.
447
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,555
Hello.
448
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:17,956
Baby, come here.
449
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,258
What?
450
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,560
[Jane whispering]
451
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,562
[Lisa and Jane laugh]
452
00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:26,331
Um, Jon?
453
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:27,599
Mm-hmm. mm-hmm.
454
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,502
What did he hit you with,
the modeling line?
455
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,671
[All giggle]
456
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:33,939
Ohh!
457
00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:35,340
Oh, baby.
458
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,808
I guess I fell for it. Ok.
459
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:40,755
I mean, how do you
tell the difference
460
00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:42,481
between the good
and the bad ones?
461
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:45,584
Ok, well, I just make a list...
462
00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:48,987
You know, 2 columns,
pros and cons.
463
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,722
Really? mm-hmm.
464
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,500
I just feel their heads,
and if they're not pointed,
465
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,861
I figured I'm on
the right track. Cheese?
466
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:57,729
Yeah, pass me a log, baby.
467
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,464
Little loggy.
468
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:00,933
Mm!
469
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,935
I've got it. I've got it.
470
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,403
You loosen this first...
471
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:07,005
Jon, I got it. I'm loosening it.
472
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,707
Lisa: right there.
473
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:12,277
Loosen there... stop it.
Please get off!
474
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,446
Oh, you got a huge point here.
475
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:16,048
Get off. Stop.
476
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:17,749
I have a point
because when I was a kid
477
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,284
I fell down and bumped my head.
478
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:20,485
Really, you did?
479
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,321
Stop it. That's crooked.
480
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,590
It's not your dick, Keaton.
It can't be crooked.
481
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,024
Stop!
482
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,627
Stop! stop!
483
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:33,932
[Laughing]
484
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,567
Stop it! Stop!
485
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,736
Please stop, stop, stop! Stop.
486
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:43,875
[Doorbell rings]
487
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,844
And that will be...
488
00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:47,980
Richard: ahh.
489
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,917
Ian!
490
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,653
Uh, merry Christmas. I'm David.
491
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:56,922
Merry Christmas. Welcome.
492
00:20:56,955 --> 00:20:59,558
Is Ian with you?
493
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:00,959
He's not here?
494
00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:03,862
Come on in. I'm Richard.
495
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:05,864
Hi.
496
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:11,770
Keaton: sassy Dave is here.
497
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:13,905
Lisa: oh, ducky!
498
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:16,775
Jon: uh, this is Carla.
499
00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:18,844
Hi. David. Nice to meet you.
500
00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:19,845
Jane: hey, baby.
501
00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:22,414
Hey! oh, my god!
502
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,082
Baby is right.
503
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,417
Did you bring the father?
504
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,785
Oh, no. Turkey baster.
505
00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:28,420
Keaton, why didn't you tell me?
506
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:29,564
I don't want to talk
about it, David.
507
00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:31,023
Jane: oh, Jesus.
508
00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:33,959
So, uh, where's Ian?
509
00:21:33,992 --> 00:21:35,961
Jon: he's a slow driver.
510
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:37,763
Yeah! if I know Ian,
511
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,364
he hasn't even left yet.
512
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:42,401
I'll call him.
513
00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:45,437
[Video game beeping]
514
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:49,841
[Telephone rings]
515
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,510
Ian here.
516
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:54,646
Oh, hi... ahem. Hi, dad.
How you doing?
517
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,782
[Whispering] what do we
do if Ian doesn't show?
518
00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:00,519
Pretend like nothing happened,
519
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,921
at least until we
get in one day of skiing.
520
00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:03,922
Women: Jon!
521
00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:05,390
Try not to speak.
522
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:07,793
[Hangs up]
523
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:10,996
Well, he said
524
00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:12,998
he must've lost track of time,
525
00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:15,133
and he's going to
jump in the car
526
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,868
and drive right over.
527
00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:18,704
Jane: great. Good.
528
00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:19,871
Perfect.
529
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:30,449
Look, I really don't think
he's gonna come at this point.
530
00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:32,050
We're sorry, Mr. wickham.
531
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,619
It's all right, but I
just want you to know
532
00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:37,189
that, uh, if you want to stay,
533
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:38,890
you're more than welcome.
534
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,792
All right? Really,
enjoy yourselves.
535
00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:43,095
He's coming, Richard.
I mean, you heard him.
536
00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:47,065
Well, thank you,
but I don't think so.
537
00:22:49,134 --> 00:22:50,602
God.
538
00:22:50,635 --> 00:22:52,070
Jon: I don't know
about you guys,
539
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:54,773
but tomorrow,
I am skiing all day.
540
00:22:54,806 --> 00:22:57,776
I don't know. I think
we should go home.
541
00:22:57,809 --> 00:22:59,745
No! come on.
542
00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:02,047
I know. Let's take the picture.
543
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,449
Everybody on the couch.
Come on, let's go.
544
00:23:09,821 --> 00:23:12,224
Hi. I thought we'd
have something sweet
545
00:23:12,257 --> 00:23:14,659
and then just turn in
so we can get up early.
546
00:23:14,693 --> 00:23:16,461
Sounds good. Good.
547
00:23:16,495 --> 00:23:17,939
Can you read that? I
don't have my glasses.
548
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:20,699
How much time does that take?
549
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,667
It says about...
550
00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:24,069
30 minutes.
551
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:25,904
Perfect. all right.
552
00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:27,072
You ready for us?
553
00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:28,807
For what?
554
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,551
Well, every year, we do a
Christmas photo of the group,
555
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:32,177
and we'd love for you
to join us.
556
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:34,846
Heh! all right.
557
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,182
All right. Ok.
558
00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:38,817
30 minutes.
559
00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:48,936
Carla, if you can just sit up
560
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,862
a little bit for me, please.
561
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,097
Uncross your legs.
562
00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:54,032
Chin down, 3/4 profile.
563
00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:56,935
Right. ok, now just sit up
more and arch your back.
564
00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:58,570
A little bit more. Harder.
565
00:23:58,603 --> 00:23:59,838
Jon! Jon!
566
00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:03,575
Sorry. just gonna set the timer.
567
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,710
And... here we go.
568
00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:07,579
And I'm coming in here.
569
00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:11,082
Let me just... i need to just
squeeze in right here.
570
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,884
Hold still. Put your arm
around my neck.
571
00:24:12,918 --> 00:24:13,928
All right, wait!
You'll blow the picture.
572
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,120
Hold still, and...
573
00:24:15,153 --> 00:24:18,857
Everybody say, "we love you!"
574
00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:20,992
We love you!
575
00:24:21,026 --> 00:24:22,093
[Explosion]
576
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,229
[All screaming]
577
00:24:25,897 --> 00:24:28,166
Don't push me! Don't push!
578
00:24:29,768 --> 00:24:32,571
Oh, my god!
579
00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:35,006
That was so weird. I don't know!
580
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,975
Wait, wait.
581
00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:38,944
I might know.
582
00:24:40,178 --> 00:24:41,613
Go check!
583
00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:42,914
He shouldn't go in like that.
584
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:44,091
He shouldn't go in there alone.
585
00:24:44,115 --> 00:24:45,283
I thought it was you.
586
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,852
It sounded like a bomb.
587
00:24:46,885 --> 00:24:48,245
I hope it wasn't me.
I'm not ready.
588
00:24:49,721 --> 00:24:51,089
Are you sure
you want to do this?
589
00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:52,591
It could be gas.
590
00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:54,125
No, I don't think it's gas.
591
00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:57,095
No, I have this sinking feeling.
592
00:24:57,128 --> 00:24:59,598
No, the fuse box
is here somewhere.
593
00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:01,199
Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi.
594
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:02,634
Here's the fuse box.
595
00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:04,836
Oh, thank you.
596
00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:08,707
There we are.
597
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:10,108
Huh.
598
00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:11,319
I don't think
we're gonna be having
599
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,711
any Christmas pudding.
600
00:25:12,744 --> 00:25:14,145
All right, look, um...
601
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:17,082
I will clean this up
tomorrow morning, all right?
602
00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:19,284
Well, obviously...
603
00:25:19,317 --> 00:25:21,820
What the hell was it?
604
00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:23,221
The microwave blew.
605
00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:24,656
No.
606
00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:25,957
You kidding?
607
00:25:25,991 --> 00:25:27,325
I'm freezing. What's in there?
608
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:28,669
Oh, my god, the
Christmas pudding!
609
00:25:28,693 --> 00:25:29,928
That can...
610
00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:31,329
Go, go! It's freezing!
611
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:32,864
He put the whole can in there?
612
00:25:32,898 --> 00:25:34,699
I hope he doesn't have any pets.
613
00:25:36,234 --> 00:25:37,736
Oh, my god!
614
00:25:37,769 --> 00:25:40,305
[Laughs] whoa!
615
00:25:40,338 --> 00:25:42,674
This could have taken
someone's eye out.
616
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,376
Jon: you know what, though?
617
00:25:44,409 --> 00:25:46,845
It's not bad.
618
00:25:46,878 --> 00:25:48,813
Ok, let's clean this up.
619
00:25:48,847 --> 00:25:50,715
Richard said he'd clean
it up in the morning.
620
00:25:50,749 --> 00:25:53,218
Lisa: we can't
leave it like this.
621
00:25:53,251 --> 00:25:55,020
That's what the man wants.
We're his guests.
622
00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:56,855
If you don't want
to do what he wants,
623
00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:58,256
knock yourselves out.
624
00:25:58,290 --> 00:25:59,958
Oh, men are ridiculous.
625
00:25:59,991 --> 00:26:01,293
Totally.
626
00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:03,828
Ok, boys with the boys
in the first room.
627
00:26:03,862 --> 00:26:05,730
Girls with the girls
in the second.
628
00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:07,675
That's what the man wants,
that's what the man gets.
629
00:26:07,699 --> 00:26:09,067
This really sucks.
630
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:10,168
It'll be just like camp.
631
00:26:10,201 --> 00:26:11,903
David...
632
00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:14,172
You're not getting any,
and that's final.
633
00:26:14,205 --> 00:26:16,041
Jon.
634
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,275
Yes?
635
00:26:26,151 --> 00:26:28,086
[Chuckles]
636
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,188
Richard: no, he told his friends
637
00:26:30,221 --> 00:26:32,390
that he was going to drive
up when they drove up.
638
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:35,026
I don't know why you're making
such a big deal out of this.
639
00:26:35,060 --> 00:26:36,828
Because, sweetheart,
640
00:26:36,861 --> 00:26:38,129
if you're willing to walk away
641
00:26:38,163 --> 00:26:39,941
from your own child
without putting up a fight
642
00:26:39,965 --> 00:26:41,866
or at least trying
to fix things,
643
00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:43,868
honey, what does that say
about our chances
644
00:26:43,902 --> 00:26:45,236
come some cloudy day?
645
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,138
Why don't you
just come up anyway?
646
00:26:47,172 --> 00:26:48,273
Really.
647
00:26:48,306 --> 00:26:49,874
[Laughing]
648
00:26:49,908 --> 00:26:52,978
So what's the group
you've got going?
649
00:26:53,011 --> 00:26:54,412
What, the boys and me?
650
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:58,016
Chez George,
if you can believe it.
651
00:26:58,049 --> 00:26:59,884
Hmm. on main?
652
00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:01,219
Mm-hmm.
653
00:27:01,252 --> 00:27:02,396
10 years ago,
we all worked there.
654
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:03,788
It was our first jobs.
655
00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:05,056
Really?
656
00:27:05,090 --> 00:27:07,292
After that,
we just sort of stuck.
657
00:27:07,325 --> 00:27:08,793
Jane: oh, shit.
658
00:27:08,827 --> 00:27:10,261
Are you ok doing this?
659
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:13,798
I'm pregnant, not paralyzed.
660
00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:15,166
[Passes wind]
661
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,301
Jesus!
662
00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:18,203
[Laughs]
663
00:27:19,337 --> 00:27:21,239
I... I'm sorry.
664
00:27:21,272 --> 00:27:23,875
[Jane laughing]
665
00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:27,812
Mmm.
666
00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:31,383
Jon: I mean,
what is the big deal
667
00:27:31,416 --> 00:27:33,351
if I stay in the
same bed with Carla?
668
00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:35,329
You think Richard's really
gonna get that freaked out?
669
00:27:35,353 --> 00:27:36,888
Take her to a motel.
670
00:27:36,921 --> 00:27:38,123
I can't take her to a motel.
671
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:39,791
It'll ruin the whole...
672
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:40,859
Mood?
673
00:27:40,892 --> 00:27:42,460
Exactly.
674
00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:43,804
Well, then, you're stuck
here with us, Jon.
675
00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:45,263
Jon: fine.
676
00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:48,299
I just don't want anyone
calling me a liar.
677
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:52,137
Oh, no, here we go on this
peculiar notion of yours
678
00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:53,872
about the size of a woman's...
679
00:27:53,905 --> 00:27:56,141
Luscious lips.
680
00:27:56,174 --> 00:27:58,410
And based on the
correspondence to the...
681
00:27:58,443 --> 00:28:00,045
Jon: length of the nipple.
682
00:28:00,078 --> 00:28:03,148
Gentlemen, my advanced
research proves
683
00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:04,949
beyond the shadow of a doubt
684
00:28:04,983 --> 00:28:07,185
that the lips are a
definitive indicator of the...
685
00:28:07,218 --> 00:28:08,787
Both: erective nipples.
686
00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:11,156
We know. Jon: Exactly.
687
00:28:11,189 --> 00:28:13,792
Fellas, take a good look
at those lips.
688
00:28:18,963 --> 00:28:20,365
You're sick.
689
00:28:20,398 --> 00:28:22,233
I mean, we're talking
about at least an inch,
690
00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:24,536
probably an inch and a half.
I'm willing to bet 2 inches.
691
00:28:24,569 --> 00:28:25,970
Now...
692
00:28:26,004 --> 00:28:28,206
Who would like
to put their money
693
00:28:28,239 --> 00:28:31,476
where their mouths
wish they were?
694
00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:33,211
Well, maybe just you, Keaton.
695
00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:34,446
Ok, ha ha.
696
00:28:34,479 --> 00:28:35,947
Well, tell me this, Jon.
697
00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:37,324
What exactly is
the scientific formula
698
00:28:37,348 --> 00:28:38,483
for extrapolating the length
699
00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:40,852
of an erect nipple
from the, uh...
700
00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:42,153
Surface area
701
00:28:42,187 --> 00:28:43,521
and girth of the lips.
702
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,223
David, it's so simple.
703
00:28:45,256 --> 00:28:47,525
"L" equals "en" squared.
704
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,328
Lips equals
erect nipples squared.
705
00:28:50,361 --> 00:28:52,897
[Both laughing]
706
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:55,266
David: thanks, professor.
707
00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:57,402
Fine, go ahead.
708
00:28:57,435 --> 00:28:58,570
Laugh, laugh.
709
00:28:58,603 --> 00:29:00,872
Would you like me to get...
710
00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:02,307
Photographic proof?
711
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:06,020
I mean, do you actually
think that I would, like,
712
00:29:06,044 --> 00:29:08,346
retouch these luscious
gifts from god?
713
00:29:08,379 --> 00:29:10,415
Yes, I do.
714
00:29:13,384 --> 00:29:15,019
Ok.
715
00:29:15,053 --> 00:29:17,522
[Snaps fingers] I got it.
716
00:29:17,555 --> 00:29:20,291
The jacuzzi.
717
00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:22,160
So I make a list of everything
718
00:29:22,193 --> 00:29:23,962
I think I want from a guy,
719
00:29:23,995 --> 00:29:25,930
you know, in a relationship,
720
00:29:25,964 --> 00:29:28,166
and then I just make a list
of all the guys I know,
721
00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:32,203
and then I'll see
if anything matches.
722
00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:34,839
And then what?
723
00:29:34,873 --> 00:29:36,574
Then I take 'em home
and fuck 'em.
724
00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:38,376
[Laughs]
725
00:29:40,345 --> 00:29:41,980
Nice.
726
00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:43,157
Yeah, and that works.
It actually works, right?
727
00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:44,458
You find somebody
very good that way.
728
00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:47,185
Well, hey, I found
an impregnator.
729
00:29:47,218 --> 00:29:49,487
Yeah, but not a husband.
730
00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:50,588
No.
731
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,223
Oh.
732
00:29:56,361 --> 00:29:58,630
Well, I know what I want.
733
00:29:58,663 --> 00:30:00,965
I just need to know
what they're really like.
734
00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:02,233
Lisa: what, the boys?
735
00:30:02,267 --> 00:30:04,469
Well, they're
pretty true to form.
736
00:30:04,502 --> 00:30:06,504
I mean, what you see
is what you get.
737
00:30:06,538 --> 00:30:09,174
No, I mean in bed.
738
00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:10,608
Oh.
739
00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:14,546
Well, now this is
getting interesting.
740
00:30:14,579 --> 00:30:17,015
What? what...
741
00:30:17,048 --> 00:30:18,183
Don't look at me.
742
00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:19,551
I've never slept with them.
743
00:30:19,584 --> 00:30:21,419
Jane: please, do we buy this?
744
00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:24,088
Come on. I mean, you know a
bunch of guys for 10 years,
745
00:30:24,122 --> 00:30:25,890
and you don't do it with them?
746
00:30:25,924 --> 00:30:28,092
No, I didn't.
747
00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:29,436
Oh, please, that doesn't
sound very natural,
748
00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:30,662
does it?
749
00:30:30,695 --> 00:30:31,996
No. no.
750
00:30:33,631 --> 00:30:35,433
You're not a lesbo, are you?
751
00:30:35,466 --> 00:30:38,970
No! Jesus!
752
00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:40,438
There's nothing wrong with it.
753
00:30:40,471 --> 00:30:42,273
No!
754
00:30:42,307 --> 00:30:44,976
Well, the only thing I know
is that my brother, Keaton,
755
00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:46,344
he's supposed to, um...
756
00:30:46,377 --> 00:30:48,513
Have a long penis.
757
00:30:48,546 --> 00:30:53,117
I mean, a really,
really long penis.
758
00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:55,320
Really?
759
00:30:56,654 --> 00:30:59,891
Ok, now wait.
760
00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:02,527
Now, remember,
761
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,629
a wolf in sheep's clothing.
762
00:31:04,662 --> 00:31:06,231
Arooo.
763
00:31:06,264 --> 00:31:07,608
So is the bellybutton
like one of those
764
00:31:07,632 --> 00:31:09,133
little Turkey popper things?
765
00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:11,135
Like, when it's done, it "poop"!
766
00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:12,270
Ha ha ha.
767
00:31:12,303 --> 00:31:14,205
It's almost done!
768
00:31:14,239 --> 00:31:16,207
Hey.
769
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:19,244
Listen, you guys don't want
to take a jacuzzi, do you?
770
00:31:19,277 --> 00:31:21,346
Carla: sure. Yeah.
771
00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:23,481
Well, it's not gonna be
ready for a half-hour.
772
00:31:23,514 --> 00:31:25,354
I mean, you guys still
have to clean up, right?
773
00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:27,418
We're done now.
774
00:31:27,452 --> 00:31:28,620
Yeah.
775
00:31:28,653 --> 00:31:30,688
We just have to get changed.
776
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:33,358
Ok, I'll, uh...
Tell 'em you're coming.
777
00:31:35,026 --> 00:31:36,060
He's so cute.
778
00:31:36,094 --> 00:31:38,196
I think he's a virgin.
779
00:31:38,229 --> 00:31:39,530
No. are you kidding?
780
00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:41,132
No.
781
00:31:41,165 --> 00:31:43,067
Well, let's get him
to lose the antlers,
782
00:31:43,101 --> 00:31:44,345
and maybe we can
find him someone.
783
00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:45,637
[Laughs]
784
00:31:45,670 --> 00:31:48,039
Ok, I will go to the jacuzzi,
785
00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:49,540
remove the thermometer.
786
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,042
I will look at it.
Then I will say,
787
00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:53,711
"ok, the jacuzzi is ready."
788
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:57,115
Then you will say,
"ok, everybody strip."
789
00:31:57,148 --> 00:31:58,449
And you think that's gonna work?
790
00:31:58,483 --> 00:32:00,018
I know it's going to work!
791
00:32:00,051 --> 00:32:02,086
Just be sure that Carla is
in the precise position.
792
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:03,187
They're coming!
793
00:32:03,221 --> 00:32:05,523
What?! uhh!
794
00:32:05,556 --> 00:32:06,724
Oh, shit!
795
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:08,993
[Laughs] are you all right?
796
00:32:13,164 --> 00:32:14,532
It's only 65 degrees.
797
00:32:14,565 --> 00:32:15,776
They don't have to get
in the jacuzzi.
798
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,368
They just have to get naked.
799
00:32:17,402 --> 00:32:20,071
Hi, guys. Hey.
800
00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:21,339
How's the water?
801
00:32:21,372 --> 00:32:23,007
Water's good. Water's good.
802
00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:24,208
Really? sure.
803
00:32:24,242 --> 00:32:26,477
Are you wearing
a bathing suit, Jon?
804
00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:29,681
You don't have to wear a
bathing suit in the jacuzzi.
805
00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:32,250
Why not?
806
00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:34,218
Well, because you're
supposed to go...
807
00:32:34,252 --> 00:32:35,586
Au naturel.
808
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,622
Jane: yeah, well,
you can count me out.
809
00:32:37,655 --> 00:32:40,224
I can't go in.
I'll just dip my toes.
810
00:32:40,258 --> 00:32:42,226
Carla: so...
811
00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:43,361
Everybody's getting naked?
812
00:32:43,394 --> 00:32:45,063
Yup.
813
00:32:46,164 --> 00:32:47,332
Yup.
814
00:32:48,433 --> 00:32:49,500
Yup.
815
00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:51,703
Ok.
816
00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:54,272
Come here. Come here.
817
00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:59,277
[Whispering] I didn't
agree to this.
818
00:33:02,447 --> 00:33:04,182
Ok, but, uh...
819
00:33:04,215 --> 00:33:05,350
You guys go first.
820
00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:06,551
No offense. Yeah.
821
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,621
Strip.
822
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:13,691
Ok. no problem.
823
00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:14,792
Strip.
824
00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:17,695
Strip.
825
00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:20,798
Get ready.
826
00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:28,473
Oh, my god! Holy shit!
827
00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:30,274
Lisa: it's fucking gargantuan!
828
00:33:30,308 --> 00:33:31,743
I told you. [Lisa screams]
829
00:33:31,776 --> 00:33:34,045
It's huge! Aah!
830
00:33:35,413 --> 00:33:37,081
Jon: damn it!
831
00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:39,083
[Door closes] Keaton!
832
00:33:39,117 --> 00:33:40,551
What?
833
00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:42,186
You scared 'em away!
834
00:33:43,454 --> 00:33:45,123
It was your idea, Jon.
835
00:33:45,156 --> 00:33:47,492
[All laughing]
836
00:33:58,803 --> 00:34:02,240
Lisa: I was never so
frightened in my entire life.
837
00:34:02,273 --> 00:34:04,709
That would give any women
second thoughts, huh?
838
00:34:04,742 --> 00:34:06,310
Jesus!
839
00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:08,379
What would you
even do with that?
840
00:34:08,413 --> 00:34:11,416
Don't ask me. I'm his sister.
841
00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:13,151
Oh, are you ok?
842
00:34:13,184 --> 00:34:14,786
No, it's just the baby kicked.
843
00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:16,154
Can I feel?
844
00:34:16,187 --> 00:34:17,789
Yeah, sure. Here. Come here.
845
00:34:20,291 --> 00:34:22,360
Jane: ah, you feel that?
846
00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:23,795
Carla: no. Here.
847
00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:25,263
Wait.
848
00:34:27,265 --> 00:34:29,267
God, I can't hear it, either.
849
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:30,768
Her. It's a she.
850
00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:32,703
Oh, you had an amnio?
851
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,238
No.
852
00:34:34,272 --> 00:34:35,673
There's no wienie
on the ultrasound.
853
00:34:35,706 --> 00:34:37,508
Oh, all right!
854
00:34:37,542 --> 00:34:39,353
Carla: yeah, and with those
penises in your family,
855
00:34:39,377 --> 00:34:40,845
you'd definitely see it.
856
00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:43,514
You'd probably just give
birth to one large penis.
857
00:34:43,548 --> 00:34:45,692
There wouldn't be much room
in there for anything else.
858
00:34:45,716 --> 00:34:47,852
Lisa: definitely.
It would be the whole baby.
859
00:34:47,885 --> 00:34:49,754
Just a penis.
860
00:34:49,787 --> 00:34:51,889
Oh, yeah! [Laughs]
861
00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:54,459
Do not fear, gentlemen.
862
00:34:54,492 --> 00:34:55,693
Victory is not lost.
863
00:34:55,726 --> 00:34:57,228
Oh, will you quit?
864
00:34:57,261 --> 00:34:59,430
What we need is
a really good plan "b."
865
00:34:59,464 --> 00:35:00,698
Fuck plan "b."
866
00:35:00,731 --> 00:35:04,669
Ok, odd man gets the cot.
867
00:35:04,702 --> 00:35:06,704
Even man bunks up.
868
00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:09,474
There's one for you.
869
00:35:09,507 --> 00:35:11,342
One for you. On 3.
870
00:35:11,375 --> 00:35:14,178
1, 2, 3, flip.
871
00:35:15,313 --> 00:35:16,781
Heads. heads.
872
00:35:16,814 --> 00:35:18,282
Tails! ha ha!
873
00:35:18,316 --> 00:35:19,717
Shit.
874
00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,586
You should know, Jon,
that I like to sleep...
875
00:35:21,619 --> 00:35:23,221
Au naturel.
876
00:35:25,590 --> 00:35:26,624
[David laughs]
877
00:35:26,657 --> 00:35:27,892
Jon: jerk.
878
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:30,561
[Sighs]
879
00:35:32,396 --> 00:35:34,365
Can't believe
my sister's pregnant.
880
00:35:34,398 --> 00:35:36,634
Oh, uncle Keaton.
881
00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:40,271
You know, Keaton,
I've been wondering,
882
00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:41,682
if I have sex
with a pregnant woman,
883
00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:42,940
is that child abuse?
884
00:35:44,775 --> 00:35:47,645
That depends on the size
of your penis, Jon.
885
00:35:51,616 --> 00:35:52,950
You should be all right.
886
00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,485
Hmm, exactly.
887
00:35:54,519 --> 00:35:55,620
Mm-hmm.
888
00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:01,592
[Sniffs]
889
00:36:14,639 --> 00:36:15,840
You know, Jane...
890
00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:17,441
Mm-hmm?
891
00:36:17,475 --> 00:36:20,545
I've been meaning
to ask you a question.
892
00:36:20,578 --> 00:36:22,580
Shoot.
893
00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:24,515
When you're...
894
00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:26,984
You know...
895
00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:28,920
Pregnant?
896
00:36:28,953 --> 00:36:30,688
Right.
897
00:36:30,721 --> 00:36:32,723
Can you still...
898
00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:36,460
You know?
899
00:36:38,462 --> 00:36:40,598
Have sex?
900
00:36:40,631 --> 00:36:41,933
Exactly.
901
00:36:45,469 --> 00:36:49,273
Well, you can, but, um...
902
00:36:51,342 --> 00:36:55,846
I prefer to just give
a really good blow job.
903
00:36:56,948 --> 00:36:58,482
Night.
904
00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:13,531
[Door creaking]
905
00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:49,700
[Whispering] Carla.
906
00:37:50,801 --> 00:37:52,103
What?
907
00:37:52,136 --> 00:37:53,971
Are you sleeping?
908
00:37:54,005 --> 00:37:57,575
[Chuckles] do I sound asleep?
909
00:37:57,608 --> 00:37:59,777
I need a place to sleep.
910
00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:01,646
You have a place to sleep.
911
00:38:01,679 --> 00:38:03,681
What? uhh!
912
00:38:03,714 --> 00:38:04,915
Carla!
913
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:07,718
Jon, blow this.
914
00:38:07,752 --> 00:38:08,986
Stop it!
915
00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:10,488
Attack!
916
00:38:11,722 --> 00:38:13,324
[Door opens]
917
00:38:14,425 --> 00:38:15,826
[Door closes]
918
00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:23,567
Ian?
919
00:38:32,009 --> 00:38:33,744
[Knocks on door]
920
00:38:33,778 --> 00:38:34,979
Ian?
921
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,816
[Knocks]
922
00:38:38,849 --> 00:38:40,351
Ian?
923
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:47,825
Ian...
924
00:38:47,858 --> 00:38:49,460
I'm so glad you made it.
925
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,063
[Drowsy] huh? I'm sleeping.
926
00:38:52,096 --> 00:38:53,931
We'll talk in the morning.
927
00:38:53,964 --> 00:38:55,700
Ok.
928
00:39:23,961 --> 00:39:25,429
Ian...
929
00:39:28,132 --> 00:39:30,701
I just want you to know
how delighted I am
930
00:39:30,735 --> 00:39:32,069
that you've come.
931
00:39:40,745 --> 00:39:43,214
Ok, look, I... I have
something to say to you,
932
00:39:43,247 --> 00:39:46,550
and if you will just let me
say it without interrupting,
933
00:39:46,584 --> 00:39:49,186
I think I can get through it.
934
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:53,691
I realized when
I didn't hear from you
935
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:54,892
after your mother died...
936
00:39:56,594 --> 00:39:57,928
Well, I tried to think back
937
00:39:57,962 --> 00:39:59,897
to when it was
that we last talked,
938
00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:03,067
and I realized that we...
939
00:40:05,536 --> 00:40:07,805
Well, that your mother
always talked for us,
940
00:40:07,838 --> 00:40:10,741
and that we...
941
00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:12,710
We never really talked.
942
00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:17,014
I realize I was working,
943
00:40:17,047 --> 00:40:20,885
but, see, when you own
your own business, you...
944
00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:23,954
You get caught up in
the day-to-day operations,
945
00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:28,559
and you just... you start
putting other things second.
946
00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:32,596
See, my generation
thought that working
947
00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:35,533
was the best way to take care
of our families.
948
00:40:38,669 --> 00:40:40,004
I've thought about that.
949
00:40:43,774 --> 00:40:45,214
Then I look at
that photograph of you
950
00:40:45,242 --> 00:40:49,213
that I always keep
on my desk, and...
951
00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:51,782
It's 20 years old, and I just...
952
00:40:51,816 --> 00:40:53,551
I just... I don't know,
953
00:40:53,584 --> 00:40:56,854
how did I not notice
the time slip by?
954
00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:10,034
So what I would
like to do if I can
955
00:41:10,067 --> 00:41:14,071
is I would like to try to
make it up to you somehow,
956
00:41:14,104 --> 00:41:16,974
or... or we can just start again.
957
00:41:19,743 --> 00:41:23,747
'Cause you're my son,
and I'm your father.
958
00:41:23,781 --> 00:41:25,883
I mean, if... if...
If you want to.
959
00:41:28,586 --> 00:41:30,287
So that's what
I wanted to tell you...
960
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:34,725
That I love you.
961
00:41:36,894 --> 00:41:41,732
Oh, my son. My beautiful son.
962
00:41:41,765 --> 00:41:43,300
What... Jon! whoa!
963
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:46,237
Why did you let me
go on and on like that?
964
00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:48,973
I just... and just
make a fool out of myself?
965
00:41:49,006 --> 00:41:51,242
Mr. wickham, please,
966
00:41:51,275 --> 00:41:53,611
you didn't make a fool
out of yourself.
967
00:41:53,644 --> 00:41:56,046
Look, I'm sorry...
968
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,882
But that's
the most beautiful thing
969
00:41:57,915 --> 00:41:59,283
I've ever heard anyone ever say.
970
00:41:59,316 --> 00:42:02,353
Oh, Jon. Please, just...
971
00:42:02,386 --> 00:42:04,755
Jon: Mr. wickham?
972
00:42:04,788 --> 00:42:06,090
Look, I'm very sorry,
973
00:42:06,123 --> 00:42:07,925
but when Ian didn't show up,
974
00:42:07,958 --> 00:42:09,135
I didn't think that
anybody would mind if I...
975
00:42:09,159 --> 00:42:10,995
If I slept there.
976
00:42:11,028 --> 00:42:12,796
Well, it's time to get
up anyway, isn't it?
977
00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:14,899
You'll want to get
an early start back.
978
00:42:16,834 --> 00:42:19,904
[Sighs]
979
00:42:19,937 --> 00:42:22,072
Ian? oh ho ho!
980
00:42:22,106 --> 00:42:25,809
Oh, great, here you are
on the goddamn couch!
981
00:42:25,843 --> 00:42:27,211
Ah!
982
00:42:27,244 --> 00:42:29,847
What the hell was I thinking?
983
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,682
Ian, buddy!
984
00:42:31,715 --> 00:42:33,217
Let me tell you,
your dad is great!
985
00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:34,752
I'm leaving.
986
00:42:37,855 --> 00:42:39,089
Ian?
987
00:42:39,123 --> 00:42:40,324
Keaton: Jon, where's he going?
988
00:42:40,357 --> 00:42:41,625
Oh, he's leaving.
989
00:42:41,659 --> 00:42:42,893
David: oh, no, he's not!
990
00:42:42,927 --> 00:42:44,395
Oh, shit! He's leaving!
991
00:42:44,428 --> 00:42:45,763
Ian!
992
00:42:45,796 --> 00:42:47,865
Ian, come back here!
993
00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:51,201
Hey! breakfast!
994
00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:52,836
Everybody up!
995
00:42:52,870 --> 00:42:55,239
I broke the pan.
I'm cooking something else.
996
00:42:55,272 --> 00:42:56,774
Richard: come on! Everybody up!
997
00:42:56,807 --> 00:42:59,343
Oh, shit. He's cooking again.
998
00:43:01,145 --> 00:43:02,646
Ian, where are you going?
999
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:03,990
Oh, a little place
called "not here."
1000
00:43:04,014 --> 00:43:05,249
Ian?
1001
00:43:05,282 --> 00:43:06,684
What?!
1002
00:43:06,717 --> 00:43:08,085
Would you please ask this woman
1003
00:43:08,118 --> 00:43:09,787
to stop harassing me?
1004
00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:12,723
Ok, I know my way
around a kitchen.
1005
00:43:12,756 --> 00:43:14,224
No, no, just...
1006
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,026
And clean up and
have some breakfast
1007
00:43:16,060 --> 00:43:17,737
before you take off for
the slopes, all right?
1008
00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:18,963
Ok, look, I know...
1009
00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:21,899
Fuck!
1010
00:43:21,932 --> 00:43:23,434
Come on.
1011
00:43:23,467 --> 00:43:24,902
You'll thank us later.
1012
00:43:26,804 --> 00:43:28,739
Where... where are you, dad?!
1013
00:43:28,772 --> 00:43:30,774
Richard: in the kitchen.
1014
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:36,013
Well, look at you. [Chuckles]
1015
00:43:38,182 --> 00:43:39,850
You've never been
more beautiful.
1016
00:43:41,251 --> 00:43:42,920
You're a prince among men.
1017
00:43:44,421 --> 00:43:46,290
Richard: Ian!
1018
00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,327
Just let me... please.
1019
00:43:50,361 --> 00:43:53,130
We have to talk.
This passive-aggressive shit...
1020
00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:55,099
Ian, your father is gonna cook.
1021
00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:56,900
[Scoffs] like he can cook.
1022
00:43:56,934 --> 00:43:58,969
Excuse me, have you
seen the carnage?
1023
00:43:59,003 --> 00:44:00,704
What? I'll buy a new one.
1024
00:44:00,738 --> 00:44:02,015
I don't know... what
is the big deal?
1025
00:44:02,039 --> 00:44:03,741
Somebody could have lost an eye.
1026
00:44:03,774 --> 00:44:04,942
Oh, that's ridiculous.
1027
00:44:04,975 --> 00:44:06,877
Do you want to talk? Ian...
1028
00:44:06,910 --> 00:44:08,788
I thought I would make you
something nice for breakfast.
1029
00:44:08,812 --> 00:44:11,248
Breakfast.
1030
00:44:11,281 --> 00:44:13,283
May I?
1031
00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:16,320
I want to just... whatever.
1032
00:44:16,353 --> 00:44:18,689
Hi. hey.
1033
00:44:20,124 --> 00:44:22,726
You know, uh...
1034
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,228
[Clears throat]
1035
00:44:24,261 --> 00:44:26,096
We don't really have
time for breakfast, ok?
1036
00:44:26,130 --> 00:44:27,731
Yeah.
1037
00:44:27,765 --> 00:44:29,075
Lift lines are gonna be
3 hours long as it is,
1038
00:44:29,099 --> 00:44:30,339
so why don't we just go skiing?
1039
00:44:30,367 --> 00:44:32,136
We came to ski, and we'll, uh...
1040
00:44:32,169 --> 00:44:33,237
We can always talk later.
1041
00:44:33,270 --> 00:44:35,039
Lot to talk.
1042
00:44:35,072 --> 00:44:36,850
Let's get out of the kitchen,
and we'll go skiing.
1043
00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:38,809
Ok, we'll leave that.
1044
00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:55,259
Oh, my god.
1045
00:44:55,292 --> 00:44:57,161
Hans: good morning, group.
1046
00:44:57,194 --> 00:44:59,963
What a very lucky and special
group of people you are,
1047
00:44:59,997 --> 00:45:02,032
because you will be
learning to ski
1048
00:45:02,066 --> 00:45:03,767
from hans. That is me.
1049
00:45:03,801 --> 00:45:04,902
What, you know him?
1050
00:45:04,935 --> 00:45:07,004
Sort of.
1051
00:45:07,037 --> 00:45:08,848
Hans: I've been skiing since I
was knee-high to a grasshopper.
1052
00:45:08,872 --> 00:45:10,383
Now, I'm going to tell you
right off the bat
1053
00:45:10,407 --> 00:45:12,076
that I'm going
to teach you to ski
1054
00:45:12,109 --> 00:45:15,479
the way what I learned
how to ski myself,
1055
00:45:15,512 --> 00:45:18,515
what is the best way
in the world.
1056
00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:20,050
There are only 2 rules.
1057
00:45:20,084 --> 00:45:22,986
One is never leave the group,
1058
00:45:23,020 --> 00:45:26,490
and rule number 2 is
do exactly what I say
1059
00:45:26,523 --> 00:45:28,192
at all times when I say it.
1060
00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:30,794
Should I ask you
to skewer yourself
1061
00:45:30,828 --> 00:45:32,572
with your ski pole
in the genitals, you must.
1062
00:45:32,596 --> 00:45:35,365
It could save your life
later on at some point.
1063
00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:37,201
Should I even ask you perhaps,
1064
00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:38,902
no reason, out of left field,
1065
00:45:38,936 --> 00:45:41,805
to just take a little bite
of a snowball, you must.
1066
00:45:41,839 --> 00:45:43,307
It could save your life.
1067
00:45:44,908 --> 00:45:46,343
It is you. Carla: Yup.
1068
00:45:46,376 --> 00:45:48,378
Ca... car...
1069
00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:50,214
Carla. Carla.
1070
00:45:50,247 --> 00:45:51,515
Carla! I'm working with Carla!
1071
00:45:51,548 --> 00:45:53,183
Everyone else,
do not leave the group!
1072
00:45:53,217 --> 00:45:55,853
Do exactly what I say
when I say it at all times!
1073
00:45:57,354 --> 00:45:59,056
I'm going to give you
a private lesson.
1074
00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,491
Ok.
1075
00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:02,302
Do you know the expression
the bigger they are,
1076
00:46:02,326 --> 00:46:03,494
the harder they fall?
1077
00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:06,163
Ja. ja.
1078
00:46:06,196 --> 00:46:10,100
So, ok, give up to me
the tip of your pole.
1079
00:46:10,134 --> 00:46:12,136
Ja!
1080
00:46:12,169 --> 00:46:13,137
Everyone may now look.
1081
00:46:13,170 --> 00:46:15,005
You see Carla has fallen.
1082
00:46:15,038 --> 00:46:17,875
I now give her what is
known as a pole-up.
1083
00:46:17,908 --> 00:46:19,143
Oof!
1084
00:46:19,176 --> 00:46:20,477
That is...
1085
00:46:20,511 --> 00:46:22,112
Hmm?
1086
00:46:22,146 --> 00:46:24,214
Mein gott.
1087
00:46:24,248 --> 00:46:25,849
You are the goods.
1088
00:46:25,883 --> 00:46:27,384
Everyone can stop relaxing!
1089
00:46:27,417 --> 00:46:29,153
We have one natural
in the group!
1090
00:46:29,186 --> 00:46:32,623
The rest of you are probably
not even worth mentioning,
1091
00:46:32,656 --> 00:46:34,124
but we will continue anyway.
1092
00:46:36,059 --> 00:46:38,595
♪ Watch me, 'cause
I'm king of the hill ♪
1093
00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:41,165
♪ Set me in motion,
yeah, you give me a thrill ♪
1094
00:46:41,198 --> 00:46:43,467
♪ When you come near me,
when you come near me ♪
1095
00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,870
♪ I can't keep still
1096
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:53,110
♪ till then,
I can't keep still ♪
1097
00:46:53,143 --> 00:46:55,145
♪ No, I just can't keep still ♪
1098
00:46:55,179 --> 00:46:57,614
♪ Be my baby, say you will... ♪
1099
00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:02,085
Well, you're good,
Mr. wickham, damn good.
1100
00:47:02,119 --> 00:47:04,888
Richard. call me Richard, ok?
1101
00:47:04,922 --> 00:47:06,056
Now, where's Ian?
1102
00:47:06,089 --> 00:47:07,324
Oh, he's coming.
1103
00:47:07,357 --> 00:47:08,525
Is he all right?
1104
00:47:08,559 --> 00:47:09,927
He's fine. He's fine.
1105
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,261
Well, then, shall we?
1106
00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:12,672
Don't you guys want
to wait for Ian?
1107
00:47:12,696 --> 00:47:14,531
Nah, let's go.
The heck with Ian.
1108
00:47:14,565 --> 00:47:16,200
Here we go.
1109
00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:17,301
See you below!
1110
00:47:17,334 --> 00:47:18,969
Losers.
1111
00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:21,238
♪ Watch me coming in
for the kill ♪
1112
00:47:21,271 --> 00:47:23,974
♪ Gotta kiss those lips,
gotta have my fill ♪
1113
00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:26,143
♪ Make me shiver
1114
00:47:26,176 --> 00:47:27,578
♪ feel those chills
1115
00:47:27,611 --> 00:47:31,181
♪ do me till
I can't keep still... ♪
1116
00:47:34,151 --> 00:47:36,253
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
1117
00:47:36,286 --> 00:47:38,155
Ian? are you all right?
1118
00:47:38,188 --> 00:47:39,656
[Weak] I can't feel my legs.
1119
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:42,192
I can't feel my legs.
I think I broke my back.
1120
00:47:42,226 --> 00:47:43,360
Oh, my god. Don't move.
1121
00:47:43,393 --> 00:47:45,229
Don't... move!
1122
00:47:45,262 --> 00:47:47,164
[Gasping] god. oh, god!
1123
00:47:47,197 --> 00:47:50,100
Oh, I see the light.
I see the light.
1124
00:47:50,133 --> 00:47:51,235
I see the light...
1125
00:47:51,268 --> 00:47:53,203
Medic! medic!
1126
00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:55,272
How's my face? How's my face?
1127
00:47:55,305 --> 00:47:57,608
I've always wanted
an open casket, seriously.
1128
00:47:57,641 --> 00:48:00,143
Oh, god! You know what?
1129
00:48:00,177 --> 00:48:02,179
I've had it with you
and your father
1130
00:48:02,212 --> 00:48:04,348
and this whole shitty weekend!
1131
00:48:06,083 --> 00:48:07,451
[Laughs]
1132
00:48:07,484 --> 00:48:09,686
Hey. hi!
1133
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,088
You look good.
1134
00:48:11,121 --> 00:48:12,990
Yeah, I fall down really well.
1135
00:48:13,023 --> 00:48:16,226
So, uh, she's gettin'
a private lesson, huh?
1136
00:48:16,260 --> 00:48:19,229
Yeah, I fell in love
with a teacher once.
1137
00:48:19,263 --> 00:48:20,264
Yeah, and not since?
1138
00:48:20,297 --> 00:48:22,699
It's been a while.
1139
00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:25,135
Thank you. Ugh.
1140
00:48:25,168 --> 00:48:26,637
Ugh.
1141
00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:27,671
You all right?
1142
00:48:27,704 --> 00:48:29,306
So, uh...
1143
00:48:29,339 --> 00:48:31,208
There's some truth to the rumor?
1144
00:48:32,542 --> 00:48:34,444
Oh, I believe everything I hear.
1145
00:48:34,478 --> 00:48:36,079
You're still a virgin?
1146
00:48:36,113 --> 00:48:37,681
Excuse me?
1147
00:48:37,714 --> 00:48:40,017
Lisa said you're still a virgin.
1148
00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:42,286
[Sighs]
1149
00:48:43,620 --> 00:48:45,289
Well, you know, I mean, I've...
1150
00:48:45,322 --> 00:48:46,990
Kissed and stuff?
1151
00:48:47,024 --> 00:48:48,592
[Laughter] yeah.
1152
00:48:48,625 --> 00:48:50,460
David.
1153
00:48:50,494 --> 00:48:52,296
Look... i know it's silly,
1154
00:48:52,329 --> 00:48:55,532
but I really wanted
to wait for someone special.
1155
00:48:55,565 --> 00:48:58,035
I just never thought
it would take this long.
1156
00:48:58,068 --> 00:48:59,236
[Laughing]
1157
00:48:59,269 --> 00:49:01,038
So, wait. You...
1158
00:49:01,071 --> 00:49:03,206
You have never done
the dirty deed?
1159
00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:07,477
Well, how exactly would you
define that in my case?
1160
00:49:12,482 --> 00:49:14,251
Technically a virgin.
1161
00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:16,320
Spiritually... a whore.
1162
00:49:16,353 --> 00:49:18,255
[Laughs] ugh.
1163
00:49:18,288 --> 00:49:20,257
[Sighs]
1164
00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:23,226
Deva. do you know what this is?
1165
00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:25,062
What's this word? Deva?
1166
00:49:25,095 --> 00:49:27,331
Hmm... a singer?
1167
00:49:27,364 --> 00:49:29,032
[Laughs]
1168
00:49:29,066 --> 00:49:30,600
No. no.
1169
00:49:30,634 --> 00:49:32,703
Silly. deva is a ghost
what lives in the forest.
1170
00:49:32,736 --> 00:49:34,204
Sure.
1171
00:49:34,237 --> 00:49:35,605
It's... well, it's very subtle.
1172
00:49:35,639 --> 00:49:37,741
Only a trained eye
can actually see it.
1173
00:49:37,774 --> 00:49:39,376
The spirit ghost.
1174
00:49:39,409 --> 00:49:40,811
Mm-hmm.
1175
00:49:40,844 --> 00:49:44,247
My lord, deva. Right there.
Look there.
1176
00:49:44,281 --> 00:49:45,415
Follow the pole.
1177
00:49:45,449 --> 00:49:46,750
Follow the pole, you see?
1178
00:49:46,783 --> 00:49:48,051
You see the deva there?
1179
00:49:48,085 --> 00:49:49,453
What am I looking for?
1180
00:49:49,486 --> 00:49:51,088
Well, it's so subtle.
It's a mist.
1181
00:49:51,121 --> 00:49:55,292
It is a mist, a cohesion
of the energy of life.
1182
00:49:55,325 --> 00:49:57,260
[Sighs]
1183
00:49:57,294 --> 00:49:58,628
Mm-hmm.
1184
00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:00,263
It's... you can't see it.
1185
00:50:00,297 --> 00:50:01,531
I can't see it.
1186
00:50:01,565 --> 00:50:03,133
You can't see. It's clear.
1187
00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:06,103
It's so clear to me.
This is because...
1188
00:50:06,136 --> 00:50:08,538
Well, your chakras are blocked.
1189
00:50:08,572 --> 00:50:10,474
Mm-hmm.
1190
00:50:10,507 --> 00:50:13,543
Yes, mediation, meditation, is...
1191
00:50:13,577 --> 00:50:15,278
It's the only cure.
1192
00:50:15,312 --> 00:50:17,514
The penetration of the dirty,
1193
00:50:17,547 --> 00:50:19,750
rotten, clouded conscious mind
1194
00:50:19,783 --> 00:50:22,352
into the wet, dark,
vile, snapping turtle
1195
00:50:22,386 --> 00:50:23,754
of the subconscious. Plunging!
1196
00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:26,123
The plunging, plunging, plunging
1197
00:50:26,156 --> 00:50:27,858
over and over again,
1198
00:50:27,891 --> 00:50:29,326
you like this plunging?
1199
00:50:29,359 --> 00:50:31,128
[Giggles] I love
the way you talk.
1200
00:50:31,161 --> 00:50:33,296
Yes, well, at last, after all,
1201
00:50:33,330 --> 00:50:35,732
you have to find out
the meaning of life.
1202
00:50:35,766 --> 00:50:37,601
[Laughs]
1203
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:17,908
Is it really such
a terrible thing
1204
00:51:17,941 --> 00:51:21,144
that I wanna mend
this relationship?
1205
00:51:21,178 --> 00:51:22,646
You're my son.
1206
00:51:24,414 --> 00:51:26,183
What do you want?
1207
00:51:27,617 --> 00:51:29,619
Isn't it obvious?
1208
00:51:29,653 --> 00:51:31,421
Ok, just... just say...
1209
00:51:31,455 --> 00:51:33,256
Say it, ok?
Just lay it out there.
1210
00:51:33,290 --> 00:51:34,658
Ok, I'm sorry. I really am.
1211
00:51:34,691 --> 00:51:36,460
I'm sorry, this...
This... this has...
1212
00:51:36,493 --> 00:51:37,594
This has been a mistake.
1213
00:51:37,627 --> 00:51:38,829
I... I see that now.
1214
00:51:38,862 --> 00:51:41,565
It's just...
1215
00:51:41,598 --> 00:51:43,733
I feel like I'm not
a good father
1216
00:51:43,767 --> 00:51:46,470
when you won't even talk to me.
1217
00:51:46,503 --> 00:51:48,405
See, I... I want us
to be able to be...
1218
00:51:48,438 --> 00:51:50,807
I want us to be speaking.
I wanna be able to...
1219
00:51:50,841 --> 00:51:53,743
For heaven's sakes, pick up
the phone and talk to you.
1220
00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,479
[Laughing]
1221
00:51:55,512 --> 00:51:56,847
Not a good father?
1222
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,357
Well, you're...
You're not a good father.
1223
00:51:58,381 --> 00:51:59,592
You're not really
a father at all.
1224
00:51:59,616 --> 00:52:00,817
All right.
1225
00:52:00,851 --> 00:52:02,552
Thank you.
1226
00:52:02,586 --> 00:52:03,820
I know we have problems, Ian,
1227
00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:05,188
but I don't think this...
1228
00:52:05,222 --> 00:52:06,399
Where... where... just tell me,
1229
00:52:06,423 --> 00:52:07,891
where were you when it mattered?
1230
00:52:09,459 --> 00:52:10,594
I was working.
1231
00:52:10,627 --> 00:52:11,895
[Scoffs] come on, work.
1232
00:52:11,928 --> 00:52:13,406
What, you... you own
your own business.
1233
00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:15,198
You can take all
the time off in the world.
1234
00:52:15,232 --> 00:52:16,409
That's... that's...
That... that's...
1235
00:52:16,433 --> 00:52:17,567
That's true.
1236
00:52:17,601 --> 00:52:19,503
Well, what was it?
Is it other women?
1237
00:52:19,536 --> 00:52:21,304
Don't be ridiculous, Ian.
1238
00:52:21,338 --> 00:52:23,440
Ok. ok, not to hear it from mom.
1239
00:52:23,473 --> 00:52:25,408
Your mother never thought that.
1240
00:52:26,510 --> 00:52:29,579
I... you never loved me.
1241
00:52:29,613 --> 00:52:31,915
All right? You just say that.
1242
00:52:31,948 --> 00:52:34,584
You never loved me.
1243
00:52:34,618 --> 00:52:36,219
Right?
1244
00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:39,356
I mean, it's ok,
'cause, you know,
1245
00:52:39,389 --> 00:52:40,766
I've... I've accepted it,
but if you'd say it,
1246
00:52:40,790 --> 00:52:43,560
it would make things
a whole lot easier, you know?
1247
00:52:43,593 --> 00:52:45,228
You know, but this whole charade
1248
00:52:45,262 --> 00:52:47,264
of you, like, you know,
wanting to be superdad
1249
00:52:47,297 --> 00:52:49,266
and, like, you know,
uh, summing up your life
1250
00:52:49,299 --> 00:52:51,878
and wanting to get a some gold star
fathering is a bunch of bullshit,
1251
00:52:51,902 --> 00:52:53,637
Ian. Ian. You know?
1252
00:53:00,810 --> 00:53:02,822
You know what? I'm... I'm... I'm
just gonna... I'm gonna go home,
1253
00:53:02,846 --> 00:53:04,347
if that's all right with you.
1254
00:53:04,381 --> 00:53:05,782
Of course you are.
1255
00:53:29,306 --> 00:53:30,983
You really don't have to.
I mean, I can call Jon.
1256
00:53:31,007 --> 00:53:32,342
Nooo.
1257
00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:33,810
He can come and get me.
1258
00:53:33,843 --> 00:53:35,321
No, don't call Jon.
Jon is unnecessary.
1259
00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:36,346
Ok. ok?
1260
00:53:36,379 --> 00:53:37,514
God, I'm so stiff.
1261
00:53:37,547 --> 00:53:38,982
I know.
1262
00:53:39,015 --> 00:53:40,793
You know, from skiing.
I didn't think it'd be...
1263
00:53:40,817 --> 00:53:42,662
Well, it's partially
spiritual, partially physical,
1264
00:53:42,686 --> 00:53:43,820
partially... allow me.
1265
00:53:43,853 --> 00:53:44,888
Oh.
1266
00:53:44,921 --> 00:53:46,356
[Chuckles]
1267
00:53:46,389 --> 00:53:47,629
I'm the kind of girl you marry.
1268
00:53:47,657 --> 00:53:49,025
Yes. yes.
1269
00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:50,327
I can respect this. No, I...
1270
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:51,561
Get off me now.
1271
00:53:51,595 --> 00:53:52,796
Wha... well... I... komplick.
1272
00:53:52,829 --> 00:53:55,332
Do you know what this means?
1273
00:53:55,365 --> 00:53:56,633
Komplick?
1274
00:53:56,666 --> 00:53:58,568
Yes, komplick. no.
1275
00:53:58,602 --> 00:54:00,580
It means... it means the
person that you fall deeply,
1276
00:54:00,604 --> 00:54:02,539
passionately, wildly in love...
1277
00:54:02,572 --> 00:54:04,708
This is the first sighting.
1278
00:54:04,741 --> 00:54:05,942
Hmm.
1279
00:54:05,976 --> 00:54:07,777
Carla, this is what
has happened to me,
1280
00:54:07,811 --> 00:54:10,080
komplick with you. I am in
love with you. Komplick.
1281
00:54:10,113 --> 00:54:12,349
Oh, really? I swear.
1282
00:54:12,382 --> 00:54:13,617
Ok, well, maybe we could kiss.
1283
00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:18,955
Did you say komplick?
1284
00:54:18,989 --> 00:54:21,291
Yes, komplick.
1285
00:54:23,526 --> 00:54:24,894
Can you say komplick?
1286
00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:26,696
Yeah, certainly.
1287
00:54:26,730 --> 00:54:27,797
Oh! oh!
1288
00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:29,799
[Moaning]
1289
00:54:29,833 --> 00:54:31,434
[Horn honks]
1290
00:54:31,468 --> 00:54:33,803
♪ Here I am
1291
00:54:33,837 --> 00:54:36,673
♪ stuck in the middle,
don't you know ♪
1292
00:54:36,706 --> 00:54:38,375
♪ Here I am...
1293
00:54:38,408 --> 00:54:39,609
Jane: now. David: Just stop.
1294
00:54:39,643 --> 00:54:41,444
♪ Stuck in the middle...
1295
00:54:41,478 --> 00:54:42,646
No!
1296
00:54:42,679 --> 00:54:43,880
I thought we were gonna talk.
1297
00:54:43,913 --> 00:54:46,016
We can talk. The two of us.
1298
00:54:46,049 --> 00:54:47,484
Great. you two talk.
1299
00:54:47,517 --> 00:54:48,761
No. you're not
leaving this table
1300
00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:49,895
until you make up your mind.
1301
00:54:49,919 --> 00:54:51,488
Keaton, help me.
1302
00:54:51,521 --> 00:54:52,965
I am not gonna
let you ruin your life.
1303
00:54:52,989 --> 00:54:54,900
All you have to do is look
around the room and pick.
1304
00:54:54,924 --> 00:54:55,992
Pick what?
1305
00:54:56,026 --> 00:54:57,427
Anybody.
1306
00:54:57,460 --> 00:54:58,828
Pardon me if I chalk it up
1307
00:54:58,862 --> 00:55:00,740
to the hormonal psychosis
of the bun in your oven.
1308
00:55:00,764 --> 00:55:02,899
Hey! one day, you are
gonna wake up old,
1309
00:55:02,932 --> 00:55:04,043
and you're gonna
stare in the mirror
1310
00:55:04,067 --> 00:55:05,802
at a wrinkled, little face,
1311
00:55:05,835 --> 00:55:07,680
and you're gonna realize
your whole life is over,
1312
00:55:07,704 --> 00:55:08,981
and ya still
haven't got the balls
1313
00:55:09,005 --> 00:55:10,407
to walk across a room
and say hello.
1314
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:12,075
First of all,
I've got great genes,
1315
00:55:12,108 --> 00:55:13,743
and second of all,
it's my life, right?
1316
00:55:13,777 --> 00:55:14,911
Pick. pick.
1317
00:55:14,944 --> 00:55:16,513
Keaton.
1318
00:55:16,546 --> 00:55:18,815
Pick.
1319
00:55:18,848 --> 00:55:23,620
♪ Stuck in the middle
of it all... ♪
1320
00:55:23,653 --> 00:55:25,422
The guy
at the refreshment stand.
1321
00:55:25,455 --> 00:55:26,856
Which guy?
1322
00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:30,894
The tall one
with the gray jacket.
1323
00:55:30,927 --> 00:55:32,495
Cool.
1324
00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:34,130
Ooh, he's gorgeous.
Now get over there.
1325
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:35,765
Get over there and what?
1326
00:55:35,799 --> 00:55:37,534
Could he use
my modus operandi on a guy
1327
00:55:37,567 --> 00:55:38,802
like I do on a chick?
1328
00:55:38,835 --> 00:55:39,803
A chick?
1329
00:55:39,836 --> 00:55:40,937
A woman.
1330
00:55:40,970 --> 00:55:43,006
Look, guys,
this is ridiculous. I...
1331
00:55:43,039 --> 00:55:44,441
Shut up, David.
1332
00:55:44,474 --> 00:55:45,875
What's your m.O.?
1333
00:55:45,909 --> 00:55:47,510
Ask a woman something
about herself.
1334
00:55:47,544 --> 00:55:49,446
Then I shut up and
let her do the talking.
1335
00:55:51,715 --> 00:55:53,717
And that works? Every time.
1336
00:55:53,750 --> 00:55:56,986
See, the key here is to act
like you're really listening.
1337
00:55:57,020 --> 00:55:59,556
Oh, men are pigs.
1338
00:55:59,589 --> 00:56:00,690
And women are?
1339
00:56:00,724 --> 00:56:02,058
Pig lovers.
1340
00:56:02,092 --> 00:56:03,626
Now get over there,
ask him something,
1341
00:56:03,660 --> 00:56:04,837
shut up, and pretend
you're listening.
1342
00:56:04,861 --> 00:56:06,596
You think you can handle that?
1343
00:56:06,629 --> 00:56:07,964
What am I gonna ask him?
1344
00:56:07,997 --> 00:56:10,734
Ask him if he lifts.
Guys love that shit,
1345
00:56:10,767 --> 00:56:12,769
especially if they don't.
1346
00:56:12,802 --> 00:56:14,437
What's the worst thing
that can happen?
1347
00:56:14,471 --> 00:56:17,640
Um, he has 10 friends, and
they beat the shit outta me.
1348
00:56:17,674 --> 00:56:18,975
Uh, good point.
1349
00:56:19,008 --> 00:56:20,744
Thank you.
1350
00:56:20,777 --> 00:56:21,778
So we done with this?
1351
00:56:21,811 --> 00:56:23,012
No.
1352
00:56:23,046 --> 00:56:25,582
The maccarthys are here for you,
1353
00:56:25,615 --> 00:56:26,883
so get over there.
1354
00:56:26,916 --> 00:56:28,518
Go.
1355
00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:30,053
Go!
1356
00:56:30,086 --> 00:56:32,889
[Sighs]
1357
00:56:32,922 --> 00:56:34,424
I don't like the maccarthys.
1358
00:56:44,801 --> 00:56:47,103
♪ If that you would
look my way ♪
1359
00:56:47,137 --> 00:56:49,639
♪ That would really
make my day ♪
1360
00:56:49,672 --> 00:56:51,641
♪ 'Cause I'm too shy
1361
00:56:51,674 --> 00:56:54,644
♪ yes, I'm too shy
1362
00:56:54,677 --> 00:56:57,680
♪ since I saw you
sitting there ♪
1363
00:56:57,714 --> 00:56:59,983
♪ Can't do anything but stare ♪
1364
00:57:00,016 --> 00:57:01,117
♪ 'Cause I'm too shy...
1365
00:57:01,151 --> 00:57:02,252
Excuse me.
1366
00:57:02,285 --> 00:57:04,888
♪ Yes, I'm too shy
1367
00:57:04,921 --> 00:57:06,656
♪ so I've got to get my...
1368
00:57:06,689 --> 00:57:07,824
He's not interested.
1369
00:57:07,857 --> 00:57:09,025
Yes, he is.
1370
00:57:09,058 --> 00:57:10,527
No, I'm not going.
1371
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:11,761
Come on.
1372
00:57:11,795 --> 00:57:13,062
Come on, you're gonna lose him.
1373
00:57:13,096 --> 00:57:16,599
♪ When I'm standin' there
1374
00:57:16,633 --> 00:57:19,803
♪ do you, baby...
1375
00:57:19,836 --> 00:57:21,538
Where's he going?
1376
00:57:21,571 --> 00:57:23,173
He's leaving. Accept it. I have.
1377
00:57:23,206 --> 00:57:24,841
No, hurry.
1378
00:57:26,843 --> 00:57:28,154
Oh, good Christ,
he's going into the men's room.
1379
00:57:28,178 --> 00:57:29,612
Perfect. perfect.
1380
00:57:29,646 --> 00:57:31,548
Go. perfect. perfect?
1381
00:57:33,983 --> 00:57:35,585
Wait a minute.
1382
00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:37,229
You want me to go into
a public men's room
1383
00:57:37,253 --> 00:57:39,031
and say to a guy I've
never met, "do you lift?"
1384
00:57:39,055 --> 00:57:40,757
Oh, ok. How 'bout nice jacket?
1385
00:57:40,790 --> 00:57:41,925
Take a peek at his package.
1386
00:57:41,958 --> 00:57:43,293
He'll get the idea. Yeah.
1387
00:57:43,326 --> 00:57:44,770
Then what, blow him
in one of the stalls?
1388
00:57:44,794 --> 00:57:46,062
Yeah, that's a start.
1389
00:57:46,095 --> 00:57:47,197
I hate you.
1390
00:57:52,135 --> 00:57:53,937
Now what?
1391
00:57:53,970 --> 00:57:57,574
Wait till he finishes
and, um, get him at the sinks.
1392
00:58:12,188 --> 00:58:13,923
You, uh, play chess?
1393
00:58:13,957 --> 00:58:15,892
I'm totally addicted, dude.
1394
00:58:15,925 --> 00:58:17,861
Yeah, me, too.
1395
00:58:17,894 --> 00:58:21,231
Although I don't get much
of a chance to play these days.
1396
00:58:21,264 --> 00:58:23,867
Can't find good competition.
1397
00:58:23,900 --> 00:58:26,102
Oh, really? You're that good?
1398
00:58:26,135 --> 00:58:28,037
Oh, I decimate the computer.
1399
00:58:28,071 --> 00:58:29,205
Me, too.
1400
00:58:29,239 --> 00:58:30,907
Really?
1401
00:58:30,940 --> 00:58:32,575
Well, listen, uh,
1402
00:58:32,609 --> 00:58:33,886
some friends and I
are staying at a chalet,
1403
00:58:33,910 --> 00:58:35,979
and they, uh, happen
to have a chessboard.
1404
00:58:36,012 --> 00:58:37,247
Wherever, whenever, dude.
1405
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,681
David.
1406
00:58:38,715 --> 00:58:39,849
Manny.
1407
00:58:39,883 --> 00:58:41,084
Great.
1408
00:58:41,117 --> 00:58:43,286
What about your friend peein'?
1409
00:58:43,319 --> 00:58:45,989
David: oh.
1410
00:58:57,367 --> 00:58:58,668
Damn it!
1411
00:58:58,701 --> 00:58:59,869
Nice drivin', fancy boy.
1412
00:58:59,903 --> 00:59:01,037
Fuck you, fella.
1413
00:59:01,070 --> 00:59:02,238
Ian: no, fuck you, ok?
1414
00:59:02,272 --> 00:59:03,606
Jon: uh-huh.
1415
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:04,941
Ian: oh, great.
1416
00:59:04,974 --> 00:59:06,118
Ian, you're not
leaving, are you?
1417
00:59:06,142 --> 00:59:07,343
Wait.
1418
00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:08,721
Jon: if there's
any damage, mister...
1419
00:59:08,745 --> 00:59:11,014
Lisa: Jane, careful of the baby.
1420
00:59:11,047 --> 00:59:12,291
What is with
these people? Come on!
1421
00:59:12,315 --> 00:59:13,650
Jon: some gratitude
you got there.
1422
00:59:13,683 --> 00:59:14,984
Jane: I'm not getting out.
1423
00:59:16,085 --> 00:59:17,287
Keaton: Jane...
1424
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:18,855
Wait a second!
1425
00:59:18,888 --> 00:59:24,227
British matchbox compared
to my German technology.
1426
00:59:24,260 --> 00:59:26,095
Keaton: what did
you do now, Jon?
1427
00:59:32,735 --> 00:59:35,872
I'll drop you off
whenever you want.
1428
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:40,209
All right, suit yourself.
1429
00:59:44,113 --> 00:59:47,050
You just don't get it,
do you, Ian?
1430
00:59:47,083 --> 00:59:49,118
Well, maybe no one's
explaining it right.
1431
00:59:49,152 --> 00:59:51,854
It doesn't matter
how anyone explains it.
1432
00:59:51,888 --> 00:59:54,090
His coming here
is still a loving act.
1433
00:59:54,123 --> 00:59:55,959
Why don't you get that?
1434
00:59:55,992 --> 00:59:57,293
You don't know my father.
1435
00:59:58,928 --> 01:00:00,330
I don't know your dad,
1436
01:00:00,363 --> 01:00:04,367
but I do know that
fathering a child is one thing
1437
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:07,370
and being a father,
that's another.
1438
01:00:09,005 --> 01:00:10,306
He's reaching out to you.
1439
01:00:10,340 --> 01:00:11,841
You don't know
how lucky you are.
1440
01:00:11,874 --> 01:00:13,743
[Scoffs] lucky?
1441
01:00:13,776 --> 01:00:15,745
[Scoffs] ok.
1442
01:00:15,778 --> 01:00:17,013
I know it seems like he cares,
1443
01:00:17,046 --> 01:00:19,349
but the guy was never there.
1444
01:00:19,382 --> 01:00:21,651
[Chuckles]
1445
01:00:22,852 --> 01:00:24,387
Even if he does mean it,
1446
01:00:24,420 --> 01:00:26,923
what difference does it make?
It's too late.
1447
01:00:26,956 --> 01:00:29,125
Oh, well...
1448
01:00:29,158 --> 01:00:31,995
Hold on to that. That's good.
1449
01:00:32,028 --> 01:00:33,296
[Laughs]
1450
01:00:34,397 --> 01:00:35,732
What do you mean?
1451
01:00:35,765 --> 01:00:37,266
Oh, 'cause you're...
1452
01:00:37,300 --> 01:00:39,802
You're really teachin' him
a lesson, aren't ya?
1453
01:00:42,438 --> 01:00:44,240
God, Ian, you're fuckin' up.
1454
01:00:44,273 --> 01:00:46,009
[Sighs]
1455
01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:47,377
My life.
1456
01:00:47,410 --> 01:00:49,946
My fuckup.
1457
01:00:51,214 --> 01:00:53,182
Yeah.
1458
01:00:57,220 --> 01:00:59,088
[Telephone ringing]
1459
01:01:00,289 --> 01:01:01,858
Hello?
1460
01:01:01,891 --> 01:01:03,359
Richard, my flight's
been delayed.
1461
01:01:03,393 --> 01:01:05,261
Oh. oh.
1462
01:01:05,294 --> 01:01:08,164
Ok, well, uh, let me know
what time you're coming,
1463
01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:10,166
and I'll come and pick you up.
1464
01:01:10,199 --> 01:01:11,810
No, no, no. Honey, I think
I'm just gonna rent a car.
1465
01:01:11,834 --> 01:01:13,045
There's no telling
what time I'd get in
1466
01:01:13,069 --> 01:01:14,904
until this damn plane takes off.
1467
01:01:14,937 --> 01:01:17,173
Are you ok? You
sound, I don't know...
1468
01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:20,243
No, it's...
It's nothing. I'm just...
1469
01:01:20,276 --> 01:01:22,311
Trying to keep up with the kids.
1470
01:01:22,345 --> 01:01:25,014
You told him. He took it badly.
1471
01:01:25,048 --> 01:01:26,282
[Sighs]
1472
01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:29,485
He's so angry.
1473
01:01:31,220 --> 01:01:34,724
He's very, very, very angry.
1474
01:01:36,325 --> 01:01:38,361
God, he hates the whole idea?
1475
01:01:38,394 --> 01:01:41,097
No, no. I... I didn't...
I didn't tell him.
1476
01:01:44,267 --> 01:01:47,103
Richard, you had better
tell him before I get there.
1477
01:01:47,136 --> 01:01:48,771
Please, honey, you promised.
1478
01:01:48,805 --> 01:01:51,074
I just don't want us
to ambush him, ok?
1479
01:01:51,107 --> 01:01:52,775
Ok?
1480
01:01:52,809 --> 01:01:54,043
[Sighs]
1481
01:01:54,077 --> 01:01:55,411
I'll tell him when he gets back.
1482
01:01:55,445 --> 01:01:57,413
Ok, please.
1483
01:01:57,447 --> 01:01:59,215
And I love you.
1484
01:01:59,248 --> 01:02:01,084
[Kiss]
1485
01:02:01,117 --> 01:02:04,087
Jon: slowly, Keaton!
1486
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:05,254
David: yep. Whoa.
1487
01:02:05,288 --> 01:02:06,456
Manny: great.
1488
01:02:06,489 --> 01:02:08,024
David: whoa.
1489
01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:15,231
Hey. we need to talk.
1490
01:02:15,264 --> 01:02:16,299
Ok.
1491
01:02:16,332 --> 01:02:17,967
Let's talk.
1492
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,402
Alone? yeah.
1493
01:02:19,435 --> 01:02:20,937
Ok.
1494
01:02:25,541 --> 01:02:27,543
David: see ya later
at the house!
1495
01:02:32,215 --> 01:02:35,384
I need to tell you something...
1496
01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:39,355
Something I've never
told anyone.
1497
01:02:39,388 --> 01:02:41,924
Go on.
1498
01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:44,861
I had this parakeet
named gertie.
1499
01:02:44,894 --> 01:02:46,429
What color?
1500
01:02:46,462 --> 01:02:47,530
Blue. why?
1501
01:02:47,563 --> 01:02:49,332
Just checking.
1502
01:02:49,365 --> 01:02:51,367
Did you really have a parakeet?
1503
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,537
Keaton, I'm trying
to trust you with something
1504
01:02:54,570 --> 01:02:56,072
that means a lot to me.
1505
01:02:56,105 --> 01:02:58,274
Do you wanna hear this or not?
1506
01:02:58,307 --> 01:02:59,942
I do. I do. I'm sorry.
1507
01:03:02,178 --> 01:03:04,580
Ok. anyway,
1508
01:03:04,614 --> 01:03:07,350
I had this blue parakeet...
1509
01:03:07,383 --> 01:03:10,386
[Laughs] named gertie,
1510
01:03:10,419 --> 01:03:15,958
and my dad told me
that caged birds can't fly.
1511
01:03:15,992 --> 01:03:18,995
I mean, he said even if you
leave the cage door open,
1512
01:03:19,028 --> 01:03:21,497
they won't fly away.
1513
01:03:21,531 --> 01:03:23,399
They'll just...
1514
01:03:23,432 --> 01:03:26,235
Just stay there
in the safety of their cage.
1515
01:03:28,237 --> 01:03:30,006
Do you understand?
1516
01:03:30,039 --> 01:03:32,241
Yeah.
1517
01:03:33,676 --> 01:03:36,579
I loved gertie.
1518
01:03:36,612 --> 01:03:38,881
But you loved your father more.
1519
01:03:38,915 --> 01:03:41,918
What's that supposed to mean?
1520
01:03:41,951 --> 01:03:43,920
You opened the door.
1521
01:03:43,953 --> 01:03:47,190
Oh, god, Keaton,
it was so awful.
1522
01:03:47,223 --> 01:03:48,391
And?
1523
01:03:48,424 --> 01:03:49,659
And what?
1524
01:03:49,692 --> 01:03:51,194
And you opened the door and...
1525
01:03:51,227 --> 01:03:54,263
And she flew out the window
and down the street
1526
01:03:54,297 --> 01:03:56,566
and right into
the windshield of a bus.
1527
01:03:56,599 --> 01:03:58,634
I mean, it happened,
like, 2 seconds...
1528
01:03:58,668 --> 01:03:59,936
It was awful.
1529
01:03:59,969 --> 01:04:01,103
[Laughs]
1530
01:04:01,137 --> 01:04:03,172
[Scoffs] you laugh?
1531
01:04:03,206 --> 01:04:06,008
You know, my father laughed.
1532
01:04:06,042 --> 01:04:08,945
Oh, come on, Lisa.
What did you expect?
1533
01:04:08,978 --> 01:04:11,881
I wanted her to go free.
1534
01:04:14,217 --> 01:04:16,252
No, no, no. That's...
1535
01:04:16,285 --> 01:04:17,320
That's what you wanted.
1536
01:04:17,353 --> 01:04:19,455
What'd you expect?
1537
01:04:22,158 --> 01:04:24,227
I expected her
to stay in the cage
1538
01:04:24,260 --> 01:04:26,062
like a good bird,
1539
01:04:26,095 --> 01:04:28,364
like he told me she would.
1540
01:04:33,603 --> 01:04:36,472
I'll... I'll just assume
that whatever it was
1541
01:04:36,505 --> 01:04:38,307
that you wanted to tell
me out here in private
1542
01:04:38,341 --> 01:04:41,978
was in that story somewhere.
1543
01:04:42,011 --> 01:04:44,013
[Sighs]
1544
01:04:45,147 --> 01:04:48,050
Oh, fuck it.
1545
01:04:58,694 --> 01:05:00,496
Jane: thank you.
1546
01:05:00,529 --> 01:05:01,697
For what?
1547
01:05:01,731 --> 01:05:04,367
Ugh. I was so hungry.
1548
01:05:06,302 --> 01:05:07,336
My pleasure.
1549
01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,538
[Laughs]
1550
01:05:13,409 --> 01:05:15,745
I wanna thank you.
1551
01:05:15,778 --> 01:05:17,380
For what?
1552
01:05:19,448 --> 01:05:22,985
Well, for everything, really.
1553
01:05:32,728 --> 01:05:34,430
Whoa, wow.
1554
01:05:34,463 --> 01:05:38,000
Well, uh, this is...
This is weird.
1555
01:05:38,034 --> 01:05:39,235
Ahem.
1556
01:05:39,268 --> 01:05:41,037
That's not right. You're my...
1557
01:05:41,070 --> 01:05:42,281
You're my best friend's
little sister.
1558
01:05:42,305 --> 01:05:43,606
It's not... that's...
1559
01:05:43,639 --> 01:05:45,508
It's too weird. It's not right.
1560
01:05:49,245 --> 01:05:53,015
Mo... mo... mo... mo...
1561
01:05:53,049 --> 01:05:54,450
Tel?
1562
01:05:54,483 --> 01:05:56,218
Motel? mm-hmm.
1563
01:05:56,252 --> 01:05:57,486
Motel. sounds good.
1564
01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,388
Motel.
1565
01:06:04,593 --> 01:06:05,795
No vacancies.
1566
01:06:05,828 --> 01:06:08,164
You know, it's Christmas Eve.
1567
01:06:08,197 --> 01:06:10,066
No room at the inn.
1568
01:06:10,099 --> 01:06:13,369
Um... is there
anyplace else around here?
1569
01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:15,371
I could check.
1570
01:06:15,404 --> 01:06:17,773
Great.
1571
01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:20,109
You know I've got
every hotel and motel
1572
01:06:20,142 --> 01:06:22,578
in the whole country right
here in this computer.
1573
01:06:22,611 --> 01:06:23,713
Right on.
1574
01:06:23,746 --> 01:06:25,581
Um, which way you headed?
1575
01:06:25,614 --> 01:06:27,350
East.
1576
01:06:27,383 --> 01:06:29,652
East.
1577
01:06:33,756 --> 01:06:35,257
[Computer beeps]
1578
01:06:35,291 --> 01:06:38,728
Nothing. nothing between
here and the coast.
1579
01:06:38,761 --> 01:06:40,062
Shit.
1580
01:06:50,106 --> 01:06:53,809
[Moaning]
1581
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:56,112
Who's that?
1582
01:06:56,145 --> 01:06:57,413
[Doorbell rings]
1583
01:06:57,446 --> 01:07:00,082
And that will be... Ian.
1584
01:07:00,116 --> 01:07:01,217
Oh.
1585
01:07:01,250 --> 01:07:02,418
Is... is Ian with you?
1586
01:07:02,451 --> 01:07:03,753
It's that fuckin' guy!
1587
01:07:03,786 --> 01:07:05,521
Come on in.
You must be freezing.
1588
01:07:05,554 --> 01:07:06,722
Yes, cold us.
1589
01:07:06,756 --> 01:07:08,124
Yes, hello.
1590
01:07:08,157 --> 01:07:09,425
We brought the mistletoe.
1591
01:07:09,458 --> 01:07:10,860
Who's next?
1592
01:07:10,893 --> 01:07:12,828
I can't take this anymore.
I've had it.
1593
01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:14,864
Ok, the champagne is this way.
1594
01:07:14,897 --> 01:07:17,833
Oh, ho, ho, dear. Come on.
1595
01:07:25,207 --> 01:07:26,509
Would you like some champagne?
1596
01:07:26,542 --> 01:07:27,676
Oh, thank you.
1597
01:07:27,710 --> 01:07:29,211
Good. you're welcome.
1598
01:07:29,245 --> 01:07:30,655
Hans: I play piano
just a little bit,
1599
01:07:30,679 --> 01:07:32,290
but I'm singularly
inside my spirit guides,
1600
01:07:32,314 --> 01:07:34,216
which are coming
into my body right now.
1601
01:07:34,250 --> 01:07:35,584
They're saying there's a song.
1602
01:07:35,618 --> 01:07:36,752
Uh-huh.
1603
01:07:36,786 --> 01:07:38,454
Let me check.
1604
01:07:38,487 --> 01:07:40,589
Yes, a song is here,
and it's called Carla.
1605
01:07:40,623 --> 01:07:43,759
[Playing piano]
1606
01:07:55,905 --> 01:07:57,873
Hans: ♪ a boy like me...
1607
01:07:57,907 --> 01:07:59,475
Are you all right?
1608
01:07:59,508 --> 01:08:02,611
I'm beginning to think
it's not the women.
1609
01:08:02,645 --> 01:08:05,281
That's impossible.
Who if not them?
1610
01:08:05,314 --> 01:08:08,551
♪ My gun's for hire,
my horse enjoys a ride ♪
1611
01:08:11,220 --> 01:08:12,688
Me.
1612
01:08:12,721 --> 01:08:14,924
♪ Seek my vote
1613
01:08:14,957 --> 01:08:19,495
♪ sleazy downtown girl
1614
01:08:19,528 --> 01:08:21,330
♪ this fraulein Carla's ♪
1615
01:08:21,363 --> 01:08:25,668
♪ Got my head in a whirl,
my heart in a whirl, too ♪
1616
01:08:25,701 --> 01:08:27,870
♪ My universe in a whirl now ♪
1617
01:08:27,903 --> 01:08:32,241
♪ I know I gotta
hear her in everything... ♪
1618
01:08:42,451 --> 01:08:43,786
[Stops playing]
1619
01:08:43,819 --> 01:08:45,721
Oh, thank you.
That was wonderful.
1620
01:08:45,754 --> 01:08:47,232
Yes, but now the song's
over, the libido's up,
1621
01:08:47,256 --> 01:08:49,258
so come on. May I
steal you away?
1622
01:08:49,291 --> 01:08:50,559
Ok.
1623
01:08:50,593 --> 01:08:51,760
Grab the champagne.
1624
01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:53,395
Oh, thanks.
1625
01:09:06,308 --> 01:09:07,510
Thanks.
1626
01:09:11,547 --> 01:09:14,283
So... are you guys, you know...
1627
01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:18,754
I don't know.
I haven't asked him yet.
1628
01:09:18,787 --> 01:09:21,891
What do you mean you
haven't asked him yet?
1629
01:09:21,924 --> 01:09:23,492
[Chuckles]
1630
01:09:25,427 --> 01:09:29,431
Ask him to hang
the mistletoe with you.
1631
01:09:29,465 --> 01:09:31,800
Hmm? the rest is automatic.
1632
01:09:37,973 --> 01:09:39,608
Manny, you wanna go outside
1633
01:09:39,642 --> 01:09:41,277
and help me hang the mistletoe?
1634
01:09:41,310 --> 01:09:42,878
Seein' as you're
tall and everything.
1635
01:09:42,912 --> 01:09:44,647
Sure.
1636
01:09:45,748 --> 01:09:47,483
Where are you going?
1637
01:09:47,516 --> 01:09:48,784
I am going upstairs
1638
01:09:48,817 --> 01:09:50,553
to tell that evil
two-timing ViXen
1639
01:09:50,586 --> 01:09:53,923
and her ski instructor
hans boyfriend
1640
01:09:53,956 --> 01:09:56,358
that I got firsts.
1641
01:10:09,638 --> 01:10:11,540
Be careful, dude.
1642
01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:19,381
I got it.
1643
01:10:21,483 --> 01:10:23,586
Yeah, that's cool.
1644
01:10:23,619 --> 01:10:24,787
There.
1645
01:10:24,820 --> 01:10:26,922
Yep, there it is.
1646
01:10:29,758 --> 01:10:31,794
Are you a single gay man?
1647
01:10:31,827 --> 01:10:34,430
No, I'm not.
1648
01:10:35,831 --> 01:10:37,266
I'm sorry.
1649
01:10:39,702 --> 01:10:41,303
Sorry?
1650
01:10:41,337 --> 01:10:43,072
What, that's it?
1651
01:10:43,105 --> 01:10:44,540
I'm supposed to just split now?
1652
01:10:44,573 --> 01:10:49,645
No, I just kinda
figured you'd want to.
1653
01:10:49,678 --> 01:10:51,747
Well, you figured wrong.
1654
01:10:51,780 --> 01:10:53,382
Ok.
1655
01:10:53,415 --> 01:10:55,351
Let's go play
some chess. Come on.
1656
01:10:56,785 --> 01:10:58,587
You know, to tell you the truth,
1657
01:10:58,621 --> 01:11:00,465
I don't know what I would've
done if you had said yes.
1658
01:11:00,489 --> 01:11:02,891
[Laughs] yeah, well,
neither do I.
1659
01:11:02,925 --> 01:11:05,561
So I was... I caught an
edge, and I fell down,
1660
01:11:05,594 --> 01:11:07,896
and this guy helped me,
so I thought...
1661
01:11:07,930 --> 01:11:09,898
David: we're friends.
1662
01:11:09,932 --> 01:11:11,400
Is everybody
all right with that?
1663
01:11:11,433 --> 01:11:12,735
Great! great!
1664
01:11:12,768 --> 01:11:15,371
So I got up, and he
gave me back my poles.
1665
01:11:17,072 --> 01:11:19,408
I'm cold.
1666
01:11:19,441 --> 01:11:20,909
He kicked me.
1667
01:11:20,943 --> 01:11:22,111
[Laughs] she.
1668
01:11:22,144 --> 01:11:23,712
She.
1669
01:11:27,449 --> 01:11:31,020
I remember when I first
fell in love with you.
1670
01:11:32,955 --> 01:11:35,724
I had no idea what to say.
1671
01:11:35,758 --> 01:11:39,762
I spent 2 hours trying to
come up with an opening line
1672
01:11:39,795 --> 01:11:43,599
with one of my busboys
tito morales.
1673
01:11:43,632 --> 01:11:44,833
Next thing I knew,
1674
01:11:44,867 --> 01:11:46,502
he was using my line on you,
1675
01:11:46,535 --> 01:11:48,046
and I spent the summer
bussing his tables.
1676
01:11:48,070 --> 01:11:49,972
Does that sound familiar?
1677
01:11:50,005 --> 01:11:51,807
Yeah. he was cute.
1678
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:54,476
[Laughs]
1679
01:11:59,748 --> 01:12:00,983
Ow.
1680
01:12:01,016 --> 01:12:02,418
Sorry. sorry.
1681
01:12:02,451 --> 01:12:03,752
I'm sorry. Ah, look at me.
1682
01:12:03,786 --> 01:12:05,421
I can't do it in a car,
1683
01:12:05,454 --> 01:12:07,089
and I don't want to.
1684
01:12:07,122 --> 01:12:09,858
This is our first time.
I want it to be special.
1685
01:12:09,892 --> 01:12:11,560
It should be special. Yeah.
1686
01:12:11,593 --> 01:12:12,971
I'll make it special.
It'll be special.
1687
01:12:12,995 --> 01:12:15,597
Oh, Ian... Ian, I'm serious.
1688
01:12:15,631 --> 01:12:16,765
What?
1689
01:12:16,799 --> 01:12:17,766
Come on.
1690
01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:20,969
Let's go back.
1691
01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:23,572
Back there? You gotta be crazy.
No way.
1692
01:12:23,605 --> 01:12:24,740
Come on, Ian.
1693
01:12:24,773 --> 01:12:27,876
It's 375 hours to your house,
1694
01:12:27,910 --> 01:12:30,179
and your dad's place
is just around the corner.
1695
01:12:30,212 --> 01:12:31,814
No.
1696
01:12:31,847 --> 01:12:33,849
It's final.
1697
01:12:33,882 --> 01:12:35,517
Oh, come on.
1698
01:12:36,618 --> 01:12:38,520
[Sighs]
1699
01:12:42,825 --> 01:12:44,493
Kiss?
1700
01:12:46,762 --> 01:12:48,664
Candy store's closed.
1701
01:12:50,632 --> 01:12:52,634
[Sighs]
1702
01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:57,973
Shit.
1703
01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:12,488
[Sharp exhale]
1704
01:13:26,068 --> 01:13:27,903
Oh, come on.
1705
01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:31,540
Jon, this is not a good thing.
1706
01:13:31,573 --> 01:13:33,008
Shh.
1707
01:13:33,041 --> 01:13:35,878
[Whispering]
or I can't hear anything.
1708
01:13:42,017 --> 01:13:46,054
Jon, there's a whole big, bright,
beautiful world out there
1709
01:13:46,088 --> 01:13:49,491
beyond the 5 inches
of your penis.
1710
01:13:49,525 --> 01:13:51,026
[Whispering] fuck you.
1711
01:13:51,059 --> 01:13:52,528
[Whispering] fuck you. Fuck you.
1712
01:13:52,561 --> 01:13:53,695
Pssst!
1713
01:13:54,830 --> 01:13:56,532
Fuck me.
1714
01:13:56,565 --> 01:13:59,001
[Whispering] Keaton! Keaton!
1715
01:14:06,608 --> 01:14:10,078
Keaton, Lisa, open this door!
1716
01:14:11,580 --> 01:14:14,783
Jon: open this door, damn it!
1717
01:14:19,955 --> 01:14:24,126
Come on, guys, open up!
We need to talk about this!
1718
01:14:24,159 --> 01:14:26,295
Jon, this is not a good time!
1719
01:14:26,328 --> 01:14:27,896
Oh!
1720
01:14:27,930 --> 01:14:29,965
[Giggles]
1721
01:14:29,998 --> 01:14:31,834
Jon: Keaton, Lisa,
open this door.
1722
01:14:31,867 --> 01:14:32,968
[Knocks at door]
1723
01:14:33,001 --> 01:14:34,770
Jon, piss off!
1724
01:14:34,803 --> 01:14:36,905
You're making
a terrible mistake!
1725
01:14:36,939 --> 01:14:39,708
Oh, god, Keaton,
squeeze 'em harder.
1726
01:14:39,741 --> 01:14:41,243
[Screams]
1727
01:14:41,276 --> 01:14:42,578
[Laughs] yeah.
1728
01:14:42,611 --> 01:14:44,146
Yeah, ow!
1729
01:14:44,179 --> 01:14:45,848
[Grunts]
1730
01:14:50,619 --> 01:14:52,688
[Sighs]
1731
01:15:17,079 --> 01:15:19,982
[Deep breathing]
1732
01:15:26,788 --> 01:15:29,691
Can I join you guys?
1733
01:15:29,725 --> 01:15:31,860
Hans is teaching me
how to meditate.
1734
01:15:31,894 --> 01:15:33,195
That's correct, Jon.
1735
01:15:33,228 --> 01:15:35,898
I believe the word
is "penetrate," Carla.
1736
01:15:35,931 --> 01:15:37,165
Oh.
1737
01:15:37,199 --> 01:15:40,235
No, Jon, and in order
for the pene...
1738
01:15:40,269 --> 01:15:41,803
Meditation to work,
1739
01:15:41,837 --> 01:15:44,773
I must... if you leave,
perhaps we find god.
1740
01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:49,778
Come on, Carla, you're not
really going for this crap.
1741
01:15:49,811 --> 01:15:52,681
This is the stupidest
come-on I have ever seen,
1742
01:15:52,714 --> 01:15:54,049
and I am the king of stupid.
1743
01:15:54,082 --> 01:15:55,317
Yeah, you can say that again.
1744
01:15:55,350 --> 01:15:56,685
Yes, you can, Jon,
1745
01:15:56,718 --> 01:16:00,088
because you are interrupting!
1746
01:16:00,122 --> 01:16:03,091
Forget about him.
You just relax.
1747
01:16:03,125 --> 01:16:06,094
Keep the eyes closed.
The white light is atop.
1748
01:16:06,128 --> 01:16:08,864
Visualize the light come
down the top of the head.
1749
01:16:08,897 --> 01:16:12,768
I will deal with the
problem called Jon!
1750
01:16:12,801 --> 01:16:14,736
[Deep exhales]
1751
01:16:16,104 --> 01:16:18,840
I can't find the white light.
1752
01:16:18,874 --> 01:16:20,642
It's too dark in here.
1753
01:16:20,676 --> 01:16:21,977
Jon, Jon, if you please.
1754
01:16:22,010 --> 01:16:24,313
Everything I do with Carla
is on your behalf.
1755
01:16:24,346 --> 01:16:26,281
I cleanse the chakras,
I start with the heart,
1756
01:16:26,315 --> 01:16:28,383
I go to the plexus,
I deal with the spleen,
1757
01:16:28,417 --> 01:16:30,052
I arrive at the root,
1758
01:16:30,085 --> 01:16:32,654
and then she is all yours.
1759
01:16:37,159 --> 01:16:38,694
[Sighs]
1760
01:16:38,727 --> 01:16:41,330
This guy is offering
me sloppy seconds.
1761
01:16:41,363 --> 01:16:44,199
Can't believe that he's
offering me sloppy seconds.
1762
01:16:46,001 --> 01:16:48,236
Ah, I could live with that.
1763
01:16:55,377 --> 01:16:57,012
Gentlemen...
1764
01:16:57,045 --> 01:16:59,214
We're outta here.
1765
01:16:59,247 --> 01:17:01,116
Where we goin'?
1766
01:17:01,149 --> 01:17:04,152
There's a whole big, bright,
beautiful world out there
1767
01:17:04,186 --> 01:17:06,755
beyond the 7 inches of my penis,
1768
01:17:06,788 --> 01:17:08,957
and I intend to explore it.
1769
01:17:08,991 --> 01:17:10,292
David: really?
1770
01:17:10,325 --> 01:17:11,960
Really.
1771
01:17:15,931 --> 01:17:18,266
[Car stereo blaring]
1772
01:17:24,306 --> 01:17:26,875
Jon, please, just stop.
1773
01:17:26,908 --> 01:17:29,244
No, just one more try.
1774
01:17:29,277 --> 01:17:31,747
Uh, excuse me, miss? Yes?
1775
01:17:31,780 --> 01:17:33,181
Hi. hi.
1776
01:17:33,215 --> 01:17:35,250
You ever thought about
doing some modeling?
1777
01:17:35,283 --> 01:17:37,252
[Laughs] you're kidding, right?
1778
01:17:37,285 --> 01:17:39,021
No, no, no. I'm very serious.
1779
01:17:39,054 --> 01:17:40,164
I'm a photographer,
and I thought perhaps
1780
01:17:40,188 --> 01:17:41,390
we could get together and...
1781
01:17:41,423 --> 01:17:43,058
Shoot some photos.
1782
01:17:43,091 --> 01:17:46,161
Mm. well, my rate
is $2,000 a day.
1783
01:17:46,194 --> 01:17:48,030
[Laughs]
1784
01:17:48,063 --> 01:17:49,498
You can reach me at chic.
1785
01:17:49,531 --> 01:17:51,266
[Whispering] ask for Sasha.
1786
01:17:53,468 --> 01:17:55,270
Sasha: hey, baby.
1787
01:17:56,972 --> 01:17:59,441
Oh, well, I tried.
1788
01:17:59,474 --> 01:18:01,109
Now what?
1789
01:18:01,143 --> 01:18:02,944
Try again.
1790
01:18:02,978 --> 01:18:04,746
Just not tonight.
1791
01:18:04,780 --> 01:18:06,481
Let's go.
1792
01:18:08,216 --> 01:18:10,118
Ahh, so unfortunate.
1793
01:18:10,152 --> 01:18:13,088
My dear, what does these people
do to you all your life?
1794
01:18:13,121 --> 01:18:16,825
Oh, sweetheart, I want
it out of you at this point.
1795
01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:20,829
Out of here, oh, so bad.
1796
01:18:20,862 --> 01:18:22,397
I don't know what to do.
1797
01:18:22,431 --> 01:18:25,133
Oh, it's terrible.
We must clean you.
1798
01:18:25,167 --> 01:18:27,135
I must clean you, Carla.
1799
01:18:27,169 --> 01:18:30,138
I'm going to clean you, Carla.
1800
01:18:30,172 --> 01:18:35,444
Ok, see, all the articles of clothing
are restricting the flow of the energy.
1801
01:18:35,477 --> 01:18:37,212
I must... yes, in fact, yeah,
1802
01:18:37,245 --> 01:18:40,782
there is another
article also. Watch this.
1803
01:18:40,816 --> 01:18:42,517
[Exhales]
1804
01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:44,319
You must believe.
1805
01:18:44,352 --> 01:18:47,022
Yes, intuitively,
you know this is very good.
1806
01:18:47,055 --> 01:18:48,990
Oh, yes, we are
working together now.
1807
01:18:49,024 --> 01:18:50,258
This is a group effort, ja?
1808
01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:51,460
Oh, my god.
1809
01:18:51,493 --> 01:18:52,861
I believe you.
1810
01:18:52,894 --> 01:18:54,896
Yes, this is nothing
not to believe.
1811
01:18:54,930 --> 01:18:58,366
Let me check.
All right, now I am free.
1812
01:18:58,400 --> 01:18:59,835
Yes, it's obvious yeah?
1813
01:18:59,868 --> 01:19:02,437
All of my spirit
guides have told me
1814
01:19:02,471 --> 01:19:04,873
that I am now free to work.
1815
01:19:04,906 --> 01:19:06,408
Let me check.
1816
01:19:09,277 --> 01:19:11,213
Yeah, I need to take a second.
1817
01:19:14,449 --> 01:19:15,851
All right, I have to admit
1818
01:19:15,884 --> 01:19:18,420
this place is pretty beautiful.
1819
01:19:18,453 --> 01:19:21,790
Yeah, it sure is.
1820
01:19:23,091 --> 01:19:25,327
I ever tell ya
you have beautiful eyes?
1821
01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:27,295
Well, you can tell me again.
1822
01:19:27,329 --> 01:19:28,539
All right,
you have beautiful eyes.
1823
01:19:28,563 --> 01:19:29,931
Thank you.
1824
01:19:29,965 --> 01:19:32,000
And a beautiful nose
1825
01:19:32,033 --> 01:19:34,336
and lips...
1826
01:19:34,369 --> 01:19:37,005
And teeth...
1827
01:19:37,038 --> 01:19:38,807
And jaw...
1828
01:19:40,575 --> 01:19:42,477
And ears.
1829
01:19:59,928 --> 01:20:01,496
Oh. ow! Not here.
1830
01:20:04,132 --> 01:20:05,267
Hello?
1831
01:20:05,300 --> 01:20:06,868
Hello? hello?
1832
01:20:06,902 --> 01:20:08,470
Hello?
1833
01:20:08,503 --> 01:20:10,405
Oh.
1834
01:20:23,218 --> 01:20:24,886
David: look. Ian's here.
1835
01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:27,322
Oh, great.
1836
01:20:27,355 --> 01:20:29,558
Great.
1837
01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:48,410
Oh, my god! Jane! Ian!
1838
01:20:48,443 --> 01:20:52,147
Hi. hi.
1839
01:20:53,648 --> 01:20:55,250
How you doing, buddy?
Night, guys.
1840
01:21:00,288 --> 01:21:03,291
Why is this happening?
1841
01:21:03,325 --> 01:21:04,702
What the hell is going on
around here?!
1842
01:21:04,726 --> 01:21:07,028
She's pregnant, for god's sakes!
1843
01:21:07,062 --> 01:21:09,664
Jon: Ian!
1844
01:21:09,698 --> 01:21:11,533
Ian!
1845
01:21:14,269 --> 01:21:15,470
Jon: Ian, open the door now.
1846
01:21:15,503 --> 01:21:17,105
Daddy.
1847
01:21:17,138 --> 01:21:19,140
Keaton's gonna
kick your ass for this!
1848
01:21:19,174 --> 01:21:20,475
Good night, Jon!
1849
01:21:20,508 --> 01:21:22,344
Oh, come on, Ian.
1850
01:21:22,377 --> 01:21:25,380
You guys are
in business together!
1851
01:21:25,413 --> 01:21:27,682
[Giggling]
1852
01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,050
Night, jonny.
1853
01:21:29,084 --> 01:21:30,652
[Thud]
1854
01:21:30,685 --> 01:21:32,254
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
1855
01:21:32,287 --> 01:21:34,122
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
1856
01:21:34,155 --> 01:21:35,257
God, right now. Right now.
1857
01:21:35,290 --> 01:21:36,625
Ian? yes, darling?
1858
01:21:36,658 --> 01:21:38,159
[Growls]
1859
01:21:41,663 --> 01:21:43,131
Keaton!
1860
01:21:44,532 --> 01:21:46,134
Keaton, it's Jon.
1861
01:21:46,167 --> 01:21:47,378
You might want
to come out here, buddy.
1862
01:21:47,402 --> 01:21:48,503
We got a lot going on.
1863
01:21:52,707 --> 01:21:55,010
Jon: uh, Keaton? [Knocking]
1864
01:21:55,043 --> 01:21:56,387
Got a little
insider trading working
1865
01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:58,280
over in the other
bedroom, buddy.
1866
01:21:58,313 --> 01:22:01,216
A little pork belly activity,
if you know what I mean.
1867
01:22:01,249 --> 01:22:03,985
Think porking and a big belly!
1868
01:22:04,019 --> 01:22:06,621
Yes! aah!
1869
01:22:08,790 --> 01:22:11,326
Yes!
1870
01:22:11,359 --> 01:22:14,696
Ian's fucking your sister,
for god's sakes!
1871
01:22:14,729 --> 01:22:18,133
That was the best orgasm
I've ever had.
1872
01:22:21,169 --> 01:22:23,371
Carla?
1873
01:22:23,405 --> 01:22:25,573
Hans: I've sometimes
been known...
1874
01:22:27,709 --> 01:22:29,644
Jon: Carla? [Knocking]
1875
01:22:29,678 --> 01:22:31,379
It's Jon.
To suck the white light
1876
01:22:31,413 --> 01:22:34,582
right into a person's body.
1877
01:22:34,616 --> 01:22:37,152
Ok.
1878
01:22:37,185 --> 01:22:38,520
Carla!
1879
01:22:39,621 --> 01:22:42,357
Mmm.
1880
01:22:42,390 --> 01:22:43,591
I see the light.
1881
01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:45,360
You do? Uh-huh.
1882
01:22:48,496 --> 01:22:50,031
It's purple.
1883
01:22:50,065 --> 01:22:51,666
Well, it soon will be.
1884
01:22:51,700 --> 01:22:53,101
One chakra at a time.
1885
01:22:53,134 --> 01:22:54,736
Ok.
1886
01:22:54,769 --> 01:22:56,104
Ah.
1887
01:22:56,137 --> 01:22:57,205
Ok.
1888
01:22:57,238 --> 01:22:58,273
[Growls]
1889
01:22:58,306 --> 01:23:00,575
Ok. oh!
1890
01:23:00,608 --> 01:23:02,043
Yellow...
1891
01:23:02,077 --> 01:23:03,144
Yes.
1892
01:23:03,178 --> 01:23:04,813
[Growls] red...
1893
01:23:04,846 --> 01:23:07,582
[Growls] oh, white light!
1894
01:23:07,615 --> 01:23:09,751
Hans, we had a deal!
1895
01:23:12,487 --> 01:23:14,589
All right! That's it!
1896
01:23:14,622 --> 01:23:16,257
It's my turn!
1897
01:23:16,291 --> 01:23:19,327
Hans: goombah, hey!
1898
01:23:19,361 --> 01:23:21,072
[New Jersey accent] I have been
workin' this hole for days.
1899
01:23:21,096 --> 01:23:23,398
You blow this for me,
I will bust a cap in your ass,
1900
01:23:23,431 --> 01:23:24,709
and I will
go have a quiet lunch.
1901
01:23:24,733 --> 01:23:26,368
Capisce?
1902
01:23:26,401 --> 01:23:27,635
Capisce.
1903
01:23:27,669 --> 01:23:30,271
Where are you from?
1904
01:23:30,305 --> 01:23:32,440
Jersey, baby.
1905
01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:36,578
[German accent]
Carla, I'm soon to be coming.
1906
01:23:41,182 --> 01:23:46,788
♪ And then I'll tell you
what you surely know ♪
1907
01:23:46,821 --> 01:23:49,591
♪ I love you, I love you ♪
1908
01:23:49,624 --> 01:23:52,861
♪ I love you, I love you ♪
1909
01:23:52,894 --> 01:23:55,230
♪ I love you
1910
01:23:55,263 --> 01:23:58,299
♪ I love you, I love you ♪
1911
01:23:58,333 --> 01:24:00,835
♪ I love you
1912
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:03,772
♪ so.
1913
01:24:11,579 --> 01:24:13,548
How do you like the cigar?
1914
01:24:14,916 --> 01:24:17,852
I like it almost
as much as that song.
1915
01:24:21,790 --> 01:24:23,725
Jon...
1916
01:24:23,758 --> 01:24:25,760
Let me ask you something,
Richie.
1917
01:24:28,329 --> 01:24:31,266
What do you do when you've
tried and tried and...
1918
01:24:31,299 --> 01:24:34,736
Tried again?
1919
01:24:38,573 --> 01:24:40,475
You let go.
1920
01:24:47,715 --> 01:24:51,419
[Begins playing]
1921
01:24:53,521 --> 01:24:54,689
[Smack]
1922
01:24:54,722 --> 01:24:56,324
Okay. oh, yes.
1923
01:24:56,357 --> 01:24:57,701
Come on. That's right.
I'm a bad boy.
1924
01:24:57,725 --> 01:24:59,160
Now smack the bad boy.
1925
01:24:59,194 --> 01:25:00,795
Smack the bad boy.
1926
01:25:03,598 --> 01:25:06,634
[Moaning]
1927
01:25:10,605 --> 01:25:13,241
Oh! oh!
1928
01:25:13,274 --> 01:25:14,609
Oh!
1929
01:25:14,642 --> 01:25:16,511
Marry me, yes?
1930
01:25:16,544 --> 01:25:17,812
Consider?
1931
01:25:17,846 --> 01:25:19,180
Oh, hans. Oh, darling.
1932
01:25:19,214 --> 01:25:20,615
Ok. Carla.
1933
01:25:20,648 --> 01:25:23,418
Ok. ok.
1934
01:25:23,451 --> 01:25:24,719
We work as a couple.
1935
01:25:24,752 --> 01:25:27,255
We're working. This is working.
1936
01:25:31,459 --> 01:25:32,703
Smack my ass,
even though I'm done.
1937
01:25:32,727 --> 01:25:33,895
Okay.
1938
01:25:33,928 --> 01:25:36,331
Oh, scheiße. Oh, yes!
1939
01:25:41,870 --> 01:25:45,640
So, um, when'd you
figure out you were gay?
1940
01:25:48,676 --> 01:25:51,446
Probably the same time you
figured out you were straight.
1941
01:25:52,547 --> 01:25:53,681
Thank you.
1942
01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:58,219
So, like, um, what do you do?
1943
01:25:58,253 --> 01:26:01,422
I told you.
I art-direct computer games.
1944
01:26:01,456 --> 01:26:03,258
No, I mean, like with guys.
1945
01:26:06,594 --> 01:26:07,795
You mean in bed?
1946
01:26:07,829 --> 01:26:10,465
In or out of bed.
1947
01:26:13,501 --> 01:26:15,470
Well, uh...
1948
01:26:15,503 --> 01:26:17,972
Out of bed, I do pretty much
what we're doing now.
1949
01:26:20,708 --> 01:26:22,710
And in bed?
1950
01:26:25,914 --> 01:26:27,649
Whatever comes to mind.
1951
01:26:31,019 --> 01:26:32,587
No, no, no. I think it's good.
1952
01:26:32,620 --> 01:26:34,289
I think it's good, Jon.
1953
01:26:34,322 --> 01:26:36,357
I think you have a real
flair for languages.
1954
01:26:36,391 --> 01:26:37,525
Just let me hear it again.
1955
01:26:37,559 --> 01:26:38,860
[Guttural sounds]
1956
01:26:38,893 --> 01:26:40,762
It's... that's not quite it.
1957
01:26:40,795 --> 01:26:42,630
Ich liebe dich.
1958
01:26:42,664 --> 01:26:43,765
It's very soft.
1959
01:26:43,798 --> 01:26:45,300
You're saying, "I love you."
1960
01:26:45,333 --> 01:26:46,301
Say it beautifully.
1961
01:26:46,334 --> 01:26:47,635
Ich liebe dich.
1962
01:26:47,669 --> 01:26:48,636
Richard: that's closer.
1963
01:26:48,670 --> 01:26:51,506
Jon: ich liebe dich.
1964
01:26:51,539 --> 01:26:52,941
Richard: that's not too good.
1965
01:26:52,974 --> 01:26:54,609
It's not so guttural.
Ich liebe dich.
1966
01:26:54,642 --> 01:26:55,877
It's very soft.
1967
01:26:55,910 --> 01:26:58,012
Ich liebe...
1968
01:26:58,046 --> 01:27:01,382
Ok, that's a German with a
cleft palate, but that's ok.
1969
01:27:01,416 --> 01:27:05,553
No, you'll be fine. No, no.
Relax. I'm kidding.
1970
01:27:07,088 --> 01:27:09,023
Ich liebe dich.
1971
01:27:09,057 --> 01:27:11,326
You think it'll work?
1972
01:27:11,359 --> 01:27:14,395
If anything will work, this...
1973
01:27:18,833 --> 01:27:20,835
You coming back?
1974
01:27:20,868 --> 01:27:23,371
We're going.
1975
01:27:23,404 --> 01:27:26,441
Ich liebe dich.
1976
01:27:26,474 --> 01:27:28,343
Oh!
1977
01:27:28,376 --> 01:27:31,813
Oh, thank you
for a wonderful time.
1978
01:27:31,846 --> 01:27:32,981
No, thank you.
1979
01:27:33,014 --> 01:27:34,549
What's going on?
1980
01:27:34,582 --> 01:27:35,717
We're going to get married.
1981
01:27:35,750 --> 01:27:37,919
Yes, is it not wonderful?
1982
01:27:37,952 --> 01:27:39,954
Richard: all the
luck in the world.
1983
01:27:39,988 --> 01:27:42,690
Very well. Jon, auf wiedersehen.
1984
01:27:42,724 --> 01:27:44,859
Good night. Gute nacht.
1985
01:27:44,892 --> 01:27:46,928
Thanks.
1986
01:27:49,697 --> 01:27:51,065
Check.
1987
01:27:54,035 --> 01:27:57,005
Merry fucking Christmas.
1988
01:27:58,506 --> 01:27:59,874
Merry Christmas to you, Jon.
1989
01:28:08,850 --> 01:28:11,786
And mate.
1990
01:28:11,819 --> 01:28:13,554
Good game.
1991
01:28:13,588 --> 01:28:15,757
But next time, your ass is mine.
1992
01:28:15,790 --> 01:28:19,761
Whatever you say.
1993
01:28:19,794 --> 01:28:22,096
Fuck you, man.
I'm not down with that.
1994
01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:23,998
Take me home.
1995
01:28:34,108 --> 01:28:35,910
Why do you have to be
a homo, huh?
1996
01:28:35,943 --> 01:28:37,679
I can't help it!
1997
01:28:52,060 --> 01:28:53,928
So tell me:
1998
01:28:53,961 --> 01:28:55,997
I mean, what's it even
like to kiss a guy?
1999
01:28:57,598 --> 01:28:59,834
It's been so long,
I don't remember.
2000
01:28:59,867 --> 01:29:02,904
What's it like to kiss a girl?
2001
01:29:02,937 --> 01:29:05,940
You don't even know what
it's like to kiss a girl?
2002
01:29:05,973 --> 01:29:08,076
Well, I mean...
2003
01:29:10,578 --> 01:29:12,380
I...
2004
01:29:14,115 --> 01:29:16,017
Kissing a girl is a lot softer.
2005
01:29:17,885 --> 01:29:20,655
Yeah, definitely softer.
2006
01:29:20,688 --> 01:29:22,757
Wow.
2007
01:29:23,991 --> 01:29:25,760
You know,
what you said yesterday,
2008
01:29:25,793 --> 01:29:27,428
you really ought to say to Ian.
2009
01:29:29,464 --> 01:29:31,432
I'm planning to.
2010
01:29:31,466 --> 01:29:33,468
It worked on me.
2011
01:29:33,501 --> 01:29:34,769
Yeah.
2012
01:29:35,937 --> 01:29:38,206
[Door opens] What is that?
2013
01:29:38,239 --> 01:29:39,674
[Closes]
2014
01:29:44,779 --> 01:29:45,980
Cold outside.
2015
01:29:46,013 --> 01:29:47,582
Very cold.
2016
01:29:47,615 --> 01:29:48,892
Definitely.
Can I get you something?
2017
01:29:48,916 --> 01:29:50,118
Would you like some coffee?
2018
01:29:50,151 --> 01:29:53,187
Uh, no, I'm gonna turn in.
Night.
2019
01:29:57,125 --> 01:29:59,160
'Fraid that puts you
on the couch.
2020
01:30:06,667 --> 01:30:09,570
[Sobbing outside]
2021
01:30:16,844 --> 01:30:18,513
Come on, honey.
2022
01:30:21,082 --> 01:30:24,118
[Sobbing continues]
2023
01:30:27,255 --> 01:30:29,590
Jane?
2024
01:30:31,726 --> 01:30:33,694
Are you... are you ok?
2025
01:30:35,530 --> 01:30:36,898
I...
2026
01:30:36,931 --> 01:30:39,200
I... I...
2027
01:30:39,233 --> 01:30:42,970
There's... it's just I...
2028
01:30:43,004 --> 01:30:44,272
Awful?
2029
01:30:44,305 --> 01:30:46,073
No.
2030
01:30:46,107 --> 01:30:47,542
No, I...
2031
01:30:47,575 --> 01:30:49,811
I... I... I feel...
2032
01:30:49,844 --> 01:30:50,912
No, it's just...
2033
01:30:50,945 --> 01:30:52,213
Lonely? no.
2034
01:30:52,246 --> 01:30:54,115
No. no?
2035
01:30:54,148 --> 01:30:57,652
No, I... I feel like...
2036
01:30:57,685 --> 01:31:01,689
Like I... I just
feel... I feel like...
2037
01:31:01,722 --> 01:31:06,661
I... I feel...
2038
01:31:06,694 --> 01:31:10,231
So unbelievably wonderful.
2039
01:31:10,264 --> 01:31:11,799
What?
2040
01:31:11,833 --> 01:31:14,936
I just... I feel like...
2041
01:31:14,969 --> 01:31:16,237
Like finally...
2042
01:31:16,270 --> 01:31:17,638
The baby?
2043
01:31:17,672 --> 01:31:19,640
Yeah. uh-huh.
2044
01:31:19,674 --> 01:31:21,909
Ian?
2045
01:31:21,943 --> 01:31:24,011
Uh-huh.
2046
01:31:24,045 --> 01:31:25,646
Yeah.
2047
01:31:27,114 --> 01:31:28,950
And, uh...
2048
01:31:30,618 --> 01:31:32,019
And you.
2049
01:31:32,053 --> 01:31:33,788
Me? yeah.
2050
01:32:13,828 --> 01:32:16,163
So unbelievably sexy.
2051
01:32:20,668 --> 01:32:21,903
Breakfast!
2052
01:32:21,936 --> 01:32:24,138
Oh, my god!
2053
01:32:24,171 --> 01:32:25,773
What? what? What?
2054
01:32:25,806 --> 01:32:27,909
He's cooking again.
2055
01:32:27,942 --> 01:32:29,877
Oh, Jesus. Oh, man.
2056
01:32:33,114 --> 01:32:34,282
Whoop! oh!
2057
01:32:48,996 --> 01:32:52,199
Carla. heh.
2058
01:33:04,412 --> 01:33:06,747
Oh, whoa! Dad, you know what?
2059
01:33:06,781 --> 01:33:09,192
You kinda... you gotta pay a little
more attention to the, uh...
2060
01:33:09,216 --> 01:33:11,152
To the, uh... the coffee here.
2061
01:33:11,185 --> 01:33:12,887
Actually,
with this kind of machine,
2062
01:33:12,920 --> 01:33:15,723
it works pretty well
with a filter.
2063
01:33:15,756 --> 01:33:17,358
So, uh...
2064
01:33:18,793 --> 01:33:19,927
There we go.
2065
01:33:21,262 --> 01:33:23,164
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
2066
01:33:23,197 --> 01:33:25,232
Hot!
2067
01:33:25,266 --> 01:33:27,268
Whew! hot. Hot.
2068
01:33:28,402 --> 01:33:29,403
Uh...
2069
01:33:33,441 --> 01:33:35,118
Actually, you might want
to start over, dad.
2070
01:33:35,142 --> 01:33:37,812
Those look a little
too far gone.
2071
01:33:37,845 --> 01:33:39,146
Right.
2072
01:33:39,180 --> 01:33:40,815
Right.
2073
01:33:48,823 --> 01:33:51,125
[Coughs]
2074
01:33:52,927 --> 01:33:55,129
So, I'm not doing too bad, am I?
2075
01:33:56,430 --> 01:33:58,265
Not too bad.
2076
01:34:03,971 --> 01:34:05,382
I've been trying
to tell you something
2077
01:34:05,406 --> 01:34:08,242
since you got here,
if you haven't noticed...
2078
01:34:10,344 --> 01:34:13,247
Unsuccessfully
for various reasons.
2079
01:34:13,280 --> 01:34:15,383
Jon is a very
interesting person.
2080
01:34:15,416 --> 01:34:18,252
Yes, he is.
2081
01:34:18,285 --> 01:34:20,087
And if you don't want
to listen to me,
2082
01:34:20,121 --> 01:34:22,990
believe me, I understand.
2083
01:34:29,530 --> 01:34:31,699
Well, you were right.
2084
01:34:33,000 --> 01:34:34,268
I missed your childhood.
2085
01:34:35,803 --> 01:34:37,138
I missed you growing up.
2086
01:34:37,171 --> 01:34:41,909
I... I just...
I didn't pay attention.
2087
01:34:41,942 --> 01:34:44,145
But, see, now I...
2088
01:34:44,178 --> 01:34:46,747
I wake up in the morning,
2089
01:34:46,781 --> 01:34:48,416
and your mother isn't there.
2090
01:34:48,449 --> 01:34:51,819
And then I go to the office,
2091
01:34:51,852 --> 01:34:53,821
and I look at this business
2092
01:34:53,854 --> 01:34:56,290
that I have spent
so much of my life
2093
01:34:56,323 --> 01:34:59,160
and so much commitment
and sweat and time
2094
01:34:59,193 --> 01:35:01,295
just trying to build it up,
2095
01:35:01,328 --> 01:35:03,230
and I look at it.
2096
01:35:03,264 --> 01:35:05,166
It doesn't look like much.
2097
01:35:06,267 --> 01:35:07,768
I call you.
2098
01:35:10,304 --> 01:35:11,906
You don't respond.
2099
01:35:13,174 --> 01:35:15,810
You... you don't call me back.
2100
01:35:15,843 --> 01:35:17,978
I mean, I just... it's like
I'm talking to a stone.
2101
01:35:18,012 --> 01:35:22,016
And I think, well,
see, I don't understand that.
2102
01:35:22,049 --> 01:35:23,317
What... what have I done?
2103
01:35:23,350 --> 01:35:25,186
What terrible crime
have I committed
2104
01:35:25,219 --> 01:35:27,421
that you would treat me
like that?
2105
01:35:29,423 --> 01:35:31,058
You see, Ian...
2106
01:35:32,560 --> 01:35:35,129
I didn't understand.
2107
01:35:35,162 --> 01:35:36,831
I... I didn't.
2108
01:35:36,864 --> 01:35:38,232
I didn't understand till now...
2109
01:35:40,401 --> 01:35:43,104
How much pain I've caused you.
2110
01:35:44,305 --> 01:35:46,040
I'm sorry.
2111
01:35:47,308 --> 01:35:49,176
I'm sorry.
2112
01:35:50,945 --> 01:35:52,880
I just want you to know
it was not your fault.
2113
01:35:52,913 --> 01:35:55,850
You are not to blame.
2114
01:35:55,883 --> 01:35:57,118
It was me.
2115
01:35:57,151 --> 01:36:00,087
I... I didn't solve my problems.
2116
01:36:02,923 --> 01:36:06,293
But I want you to know,
2117
01:36:06,327 --> 01:36:08,162
that I love you...
2118
01:36:10,331 --> 01:36:11,799
My son.
2119
01:36:15,870 --> 01:36:17,071
I...
2120
01:36:17,104 --> 01:36:18,572
No, I... I get it, dad.
2121
01:36:18,606 --> 01:36:21,275
It's okay.
2122
01:36:21,308 --> 01:36:23,978
I get it loud and clear.
2123
01:36:28,616 --> 01:36:30,217
[Horn honks]
2124
01:36:30,251 --> 01:36:31,952
Oh. yeah.
2125
01:36:31,986 --> 01:36:34,021
Oh, god! Ian...
2126
01:36:35,289 --> 01:36:36,857
Ian: who the heck is that?
2127
01:36:36,891 --> 01:36:38,626
Ian...
2128
01:36:38,659 --> 01:36:40,928
That's your secretary?
Yes, it's my secretary.
2129
01:36:40,961 --> 01:36:42,129
What's she doing here?
2130
01:36:42,163 --> 01:36:43,403
Well, ok, that's something else
2131
01:36:43,430 --> 01:36:45,166
that I was going to tell you.
2132
01:36:45,199 --> 01:36:47,268
What? Katherine and I
are getting married,
2133
01:36:47,301 --> 01:36:49,370
and we would like you
to be our best man.
2134
01:36:49,403 --> 01:36:51,205
Katherine: Richard.
2135
01:36:51,238 --> 01:36:53,641
Uh...
2136
01:36:53,674 --> 01:36:55,476
Richard?
2137
01:36:55,509 --> 01:36:56,977
Hi.
2138
01:37:01,282 --> 01:37:03,117
I think he's stunned.
2139
01:37:03,150 --> 01:37:04,952
Happily, I hope.
2140
01:37:04,985 --> 01:37:06,053
Nice to meet you again.
2141
01:37:06,086 --> 01:37:07,288
Congratulations.
2142
01:37:07,321 --> 01:37:08,556
[Fire alarm beeps]
2143
01:37:08,589 --> 01:37:10,424
Oh, no, he's not cooking, is he?
2144
01:37:10,457 --> 01:37:12,092
It's actually on fire. Shit!
2145
01:37:12,126 --> 01:37:14,028
Richard: oh, my god!
2146
01:37:14,061 --> 01:37:15,930
Ian: be careful. Be careful.
Wait! Wait! Wait!
2147
01:37:15,963 --> 01:37:17,932
No, just put it in the sink.
Put it in the sink!
2148
01:37:17,965 --> 01:37:20,067
Richard: get some water.
We'll douse it...
2149
01:37:20,100 --> 01:37:22,136
I know what I'm doing. Please!
2150
01:37:22,169 --> 01:37:24,238
I'm gonna...
I know what I'm doing!
2151
01:37:24,271 --> 01:37:25,372
Oh, god!
2152
01:37:25,406 --> 01:37:27,141
[Laughing]
2153
01:37:27,174 --> 01:37:29,243
Richard, I told you not to cook.
2154
01:37:29,276 --> 01:37:32,146
I know. I thought I could help.
2155
01:37:32,179 --> 01:37:33,647
I guess that means no breakfast?
2156
01:37:33,681 --> 01:37:36,016
Yeah, no breakfast. Oh, god.
2157
01:37:39,653 --> 01:37:42,556
Ian: it's unbelievable.
2158
01:37:48,095 --> 01:37:50,264
Well, this sucks.
2159
01:37:50,297 --> 01:37:52,299
This really sucks.
2160
01:37:53,400 --> 01:37:54,468
Who's that guy?
2161
01:37:54,501 --> 01:37:57,371
Well, you might ask.
2162
01:38:01,575 --> 01:38:03,277
[Honks]
2163
01:38:07,748 --> 01:38:09,416
Jon: how's hans?
2164
01:38:10,517 --> 01:38:11,952
Oh, fuck off.
2165
01:38:16,190 --> 01:38:18,058
You ok?
2166
01:38:19,393 --> 01:38:20,995
Yes.
2167
01:38:21,028 --> 01:38:23,397
You know,
if you weren't such a jerk,
2168
01:38:23,430 --> 01:38:25,032
we could have had
a great weekend
2169
01:38:25,065 --> 01:38:28,202
getting to know each other,
skiing, taking pictures,
2170
01:38:28,235 --> 01:38:31,138
but instead
you treat me like air,
2171
01:38:31,171 --> 01:38:33,207
and you force me
in the arms of that...
2172
01:38:33,240 --> 01:38:36,143
Maniac from...
From wherever he's from.
2173
01:38:36,176 --> 01:38:37,444
New Jersey.
2174
01:38:37,478 --> 01:38:38,646
Shut up while I'm talking.
2175
01:38:38,679 --> 01:38:40,114
At least he recognizes
2176
01:38:40,147 --> 01:38:41,749
a woman has emotional
and spiritual needs
2177
01:38:41,782 --> 01:38:44,351
beyond the purely sexual.
2178
01:38:44,385 --> 01:38:45,552
You understand me?
2179
01:38:45,586 --> 01:38:47,354
Yes.
2180
01:38:47,388 --> 01:38:48,756
If you want me
to care about you,
2181
01:38:48,789 --> 01:38:51,025
it's going to take
more than a Mercedes
2182
01:38:51,058 --> 01:38:54,428
or that worn-out line of yours
about discovering supermodels.
2183
01:38:56,463 --> 01:38:58,499
You have to focus
your attention on me
2184
01:38:58,532 --> 01:39:00,401
and make it about me.
2185
01:39:00,434 --> 01:39:01,735
You got that?
2186
01:39:01,769 --> 01:39:03,504
Yes.
2187
01:39:03,537 --> 01:39:05,406
Because I'm
the kind of girl you marry.
2188
01:39:28,529 --> 01:39:30,631
Ich liebe dich.
2189
01:40:19,179 --> 01:40:22,583
♪ How could I know
I'd feel this way? ♪
2190
01:40:26,353 --> 01:40:29,623
♪ How could I know
that one fine day ♪
2191
01:40:31,525 --> 01:40:34,728
♪ You'd be mine?
2192
01:40:34,762 --> 01:40:38,365
♪ I had searched
my whole life through ♪
2193
01:40:38,399 --> 01:40:41,635
♪ Just to find
2194
01:40:41,668 --> 01:40:43,704
♪ I'd been waitin'
2195
01:40:43,737 --> 01:40:47,307
♪ for someone like you
2196
01:40:48,442 --> 01:40:51,745
♪ someone like you
2197
01:40:51,779 --> 01:40:55,449
♪ someone like you
2198
01:40:55,482 --> 01:40:57,751
♪ someone like you
2199
01:41:00,487 --> 01:41:04,224
♪ I had some dream,
some fantasy ♪
2200
01:41:07,494 --> 01:41:11,265
♪ Of who that someone would be ♪
2201
01:41:12,599 --> 01:41:16,403
♪ I've been so blind
2202
01:41:16,437 --> 01:41:19,506
♪ up till now I couldn't see ♪
2203
01:41:19,540 --> 01:41:23,310
♪ That all this time
2204
01:41:23,343 --> 01:41:28,449
♪ you've been standing
right in front of me ♪
2205
01:41:30,217 --> 01:41:33,454
♪ Someone for me
2206
01:41:33,487 --> 01:41:36,824
♪ someone for me
2207
01:41:36,857 --> 01:41:39,893
♪ someone for me
2208
01:41:56,210 --> 01:41:59,746
♪ now every day
and every night ♪
2209
01:42:02,983 --> 01:42:06,420
♪ I get to be
with one so right ♪
2210
01:42:07,988 --> 01:42:11,859
♪ So good for me
2211
01:42:11,892 --> 01:42:14,862
♪ I can't believe
that this is true ♪
2212
01:42:14,895 --> 01:42:18,699
♪ Now, I can see
2213
01:42:18,732 --> 01:42:24,171
♪ that my heart
had been holdin' out for you ♪
2214
01:42:25,506 --> 01:42:28,942
♪ Someone like you
2215
01:42:28,976 --> 01:42:32,479
♪ someone like you
2216
01:42:32,513 --> 01:42:35,883
♪ someone like you
2217
01:42:35,916 --> 01:42:39,553
♪ someone like you
2218
01:42:39,586 --> 01:42:42,856
♪ someone like you
2219
01:42:42,890 --> 01:42:46,426
♪ someone like me
2220
01:42:46,460 --> 01:42:48,862
♪ someone like you
2221
01:42:48,896 --> 01:42:51,265
♪ yeah.
2222
01:43:05,913 --> 01:43:10,651
Why does it always
have to be about sex?!
146068
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