All language subtitles for Cannonball 2020 - 1x03_track3_eng

‐ Cannonball Bay,
where elite athletes

face off in the most extreme
water park in the world,

all in pursuit of $10,000
in cold, wet cash.

‐ Oh, man!
‐ Oh, man!

‐ Gnarly, dude!

‐ [shouts]

‐ So strap in, America.

This is "Cannonball."

‐ Oh!
‐ [laughs]

‐ Whoo!
Thank you, "Cannonball"!

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

‐ Welcome to "Cannonball."
I'm your host Mike Mizanin.

By my side is my friend
and cohost, Rocsi Diaz.

‐ And we're about to have
some fun today, Mike.

And these competitors
are about to get wet

and compete for $10,000.

‐ I hope you're ready, because
it's time to cannonball.

♪ ♪

‐ Okay,
first up is Speed Skimmer.

Our athletes will rocket down
our seven‐story Mega Slide,

topping speeds
of 80 miles per hour,

then maneuver
between these buoys

without crashing
and try to skim

as far across the bay
as they can.

‐ On this challenge,
you gotta avoid drag.

So keep those feet up
as you go down the slide

and as you skim
across the water.

‐ The seven athletes
who travel the farthest

will move on.

‐ The others will have
to take Speed Skimmer

again next semester.

‐ Before we get started,
let's check in

with our sideline reporter,
Simon Gibson,

down on the shoreline.
Simon?

‐ Mike and Rocsi,
thank you so much.

We're cannonballing, baby!
Come on!

Yeah!
[cheers and applause]

I'm not doing
any of these events at all!

‐ Thank you very much, Simon.

‐ He is compelling.
‐ Yes, he is.

‐ All right,
let's head up to the top

of the Mega Slide,
where our first athlete

is getting ready.

‐ Holy [bleep].

[shouts]

♪ ♪

I'm Jenn LaMonaca,
and I'm a sports journalist.

I have a good Philly accent

with a little bit
of Italian in there.

I've always been
into competitive sports.

I watch them,
I report on them,

and now I'm in them.

I'm so competitive,
my boyfriend

won't even play board games
with me anymore.

I hope to do so well today

that they send
a sports journalist

to write an article about me.

‐ She's got a big
East Coast attitude,

which I absolutely love.

‐ Yeah, shout‐out
to everybody back home.

Love you, twin.
Love you, Philly.

I'm here for you.

‐ She's from Philly.

She's ready
to attack this slide.

I want to see‐‐I want her
to attack that entry.

‐ She looks ready.

‐ Here we go.

both: Three, two, one,

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Flawless entry.

‐ Whoo!

Oof!
‐ Tons of speed. Nice.

Wow,
that is a really good run.

‐ Yeah, I totally agree
with you, Mike.

Let's take a look
at her instant replay.

‐ Tossing her pencil
and paper aside,

this sports journalist
jumps into the action

and realizes
life is much drier

behind the camera.

‐ [grunts]

‐ Okay, Jenn went a distance
of 105'5".

‐ That is an impressive run.

It's gonna be
very hard to beat.

Who's our next athlete?

‐ Coming up next
is Sarah Lipe.

She is up there
on top of the Mega Slide.

‐ Oh, my God.
It's so high.

[gasps]

[hard rock music]

‐ ♪ I'm gonna rock! ♪

‐ Hi, I'm Sarah,
I'm 19,

and I'm from sunny San Diego.

I love '80s rock
with a passion.

♪ ♪

I listen to it when I'm
in the gym, in the car.

I'm head‐banging
all the time, man.

I'm ready to rock "Cannonball"
like a hurricane.

‐ Her favorite groups
are Def Leppard‐‐

and by the way,
when I saw that,

I went thumbs‐up for Sarah.

It's my favorite band.

‐ [vocalizing]

♪ ♪

‐ I'm not gonna lie.

That's the word head‐bang

I've ever seen
in my entire life.

‐ Because you're a hater, Mike.
You're a hater.

♪ ♪

‐ She looks a bit nervous.

‐ She does look
a bit nervous up there.

‐ Let's see how she does.

both: Three, two, one,

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ And she is off.
A nice hop on.

‐ [shouts]

[grunts]

‐ Wow!
That was a very solid run.

‐ Yeah!

‐ Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

‐ Like a groupie
trying to get backstage,

Sarah steers around the buoys
like they're security

but gets hip‐checked
by the drummer's girlfriend

just before
she can get an autograph.

‐ Her distance, Mike: 98'6".

What a great, great run.

‐ Who's our next competitor?

‐ Coming up next is Aaron Pina.

‐ This is what it's all about,
baby!

Whoo!

[militaristic classical music]

Sergeant Pina reporting
for "Cannonball," sir.

I served in the army
and the air force,

so I got the land and the air
in this competition.

In the air force,
we get excited. [grunts]

I have the strength
and the speed,

so nothing can stop me.

Let's go, "Cannonball"!

‐ You know, Aaron
has been in the army

and the armed forces
for 21 years,

so thank you for your service.

‐ [grunts aggressively]

‐ Seems to have
a lot of energy

up there at our Mega Slide
platform right now, Mike.

‐ He's getting himself
pumped up,

and he's ready to go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

Nice jumping start.

Very good speed.

‐ [shouts]
‐ Oh, man!

Just goes down!

‐ [groans]

‐ May have attacked it
a little too hard.

Let's take a look
at that instant replay, Mike.

‐ Every great battle
in history

started with a giant slide,

and this battle
is no different.

But please
do not look that up.

‐ [grunts]

‐ Aaron's official score
is in, Mike.

He's coming in
at 48' even.

‐ Thank you for your service,
Soldier.

All right,
let's see how this grunt

measures up to today's
other athletes.

‐ I'm on it, Mike.

With that run,
Sergeant Pina

drops to the bottom
of our leaderboard.

Sports journalist Jenn
leading the way,

with '80s rocker Sarah
in second.

‐ Who we got next?

‐ Coming up next
is Alex Claud.

‐ Have you ever questioned
your life decisions?

'Cause I am right now.

What up?
My name is Alex.

I'm 28 years old,

and I'm from Coopertown,
Tennessee.

I'm a competitive
dodgeball player.

I need a competitive outlet.

Dodgeball's kind of a place
where when I see red...

[mechanical whirring]

[beeping]

I just destroy
everyone else.

[ominous music]

[distorted]
Destroy everyone else.

♪ ♪

[mechanical whirring]

If I can dodge balls
flying at my face,

I can definitely
dodge "Cannonball."

‐ Pro dodgeballer.
I like him already.

‐ He considers himself

the Michael Jordan
of dodgeball,

so I bet he's hoping
his first run

isn't his last dance
on "Cannonball."

Here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ And he's got a little bit
of drag.

‐ [shouts]

[grunts]
‐ Wow, look at him go.

What a good, good run.

‐ [laughs]

‐ Probably the best run
of the day.

‐ Oh, God!

‐ I mean, the man is a pro.

All that dodgeball training
really paying off.

Bobbing and weaving
and not letting

any of our buoys
take him down.

‐ His distance:
124'2",

definitely putting him
at the top of the leaderboard.

And he's standing by
with Simon right now.

Simon?

‐ I'm here with Alex.

Alex, you got something
working for you,

and that's‐‐you have a similar
taste in shirts as myself.

One question for you.

Could I rock the sleeveless
Hawaiian shirt?

‐ Absolutely.
Can I rip them off for you?

[laughter]

‐ Off camera,
yes, you can.

Back to you in the booth!

‐ All right,
thank you very much, Simon.

Who we got next?

‐ Coming up next
is Bronson Holland.

‐ Yeah.

Whoo! Let's do this, baby.

My name is Bronson Holland.
I'm 21 years old.

Whoo!

I'm a full‐time
stay‐at‐home dad,

and I'm a daredevil.

[record scratches]

[sweeping operatic music]

I actually was dared by my wife
to come on this show,

which I accepted

because I never
back down from a dare.

I never say no to a dare,

but I'm kind of wishing
I did now.

‐ Bronson never says no
to a dare.

He was once dared to jump

on a medicine ball
on a treadmill,

and the video of him
faceplanting went viral.

I got a feeling
he's got a couple more

viral videos
coming his way today.

And here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Nice jumping start.

‐ Whoo!

‐ Nice.
‐ Oh, man!

He actually hits
the blue buoy.

‐ Yeah!
‐ I'm curious to see

what his official score
will be.

‐ Yeah!

‐ Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

‐ Daredevil dad looking
more dad than daredevil.

I'm not sure
if this is gonna cut it.

‐ Bronson got 69'4".

He's with Simon now,

who's about to reveal
his fate.

‐ All right, Bronson.

I know that you love dares,

so I got one more dare for you.

‐ What's the dare?
‐ I dare you

to move on to the next round!

'Cause that's
what you're doing!

‐ Challenge accepted, Simon!
‐ Challenge accepted!

‐ Challenge accepted!

‐ Bronson!
Back to you in the booth!

‐ Whoo!

‐ Okay, so Bronson
is moving on

to round two.

Joining him is Gabriell Smith

and Vitoangelino Kaiewe.

‐ And our top seven is set.

Congrats to you all,

but for now, we have

to say good‐bye to those

who didn't make the cut

and won't be moving on.

Cue the montage.

[grand orchestral music]

[boinging]

Okay, maybe not the montage
you were expecting,

but I just really wanted
to see that fanny pack guy.

Stick around,
because when we come back,

things get the appropriate
amount of wet and wild.

‐ Whoa, whoa!
[crowd groans]

[upbeat music]

‐ Welcome back
to "Cannonball."

It's time for round two,
and our remaining athletes

are ready and waiting.

‐ That first round was nuts,

but things are only
going to get tougher

for these athletes.

‐ That's right,
but in the words

of Theodore Roosevelt,

nothing worth having
comes easy.

‐ I'm actually
really impressed, Mike.

‐ Don't underestimate me,
Rocsi.

‐ All right, our next
challenge is Target Toss.

A massive cannonball will drop

onto our giant air blaster

and launch
our athletes skyward,

where they will throw balls

into our 1‐, 2‐,
and 3‐point zones

or our 4‐point box.

‐ Here, it comes down
to quantity versus quality.

Take a rapid‐fire approach,

and you can get a lot
of low‐end points.

Or slow things down,
go for accuracy,

and focus
on the higher points.

‐ The six athletes
with the highest scores

will move on
to the next round.

‐ The other one will go home
richer for the experience,

just not $10,000 richer.

‐ Up next
is our first competitor,

Gabriell Smith.

‐ The goal is to get rid
of all the balls

even if they're 1s.

They call me Pineapple Gabi.

I love pineapples.

[upbeat tropical music]

I love to eat pineapples.

I have a pineapple tattoo
on my ankle.

I collect pineapple trinkets.

My motto is to live life
like a pineapple:

be sweet, stand tall,
and wear a crown.

[smooch]

Whoo!
[laughs]

‐ She's obsessed
with pineapples.

She even has
a pineapple tattoo.

Gabi, that tattoo
better not be anywhere near

a tattoo of a pizza.

‐ [laughs]

‐ We're gonna make it happen,

'cause we're a boss,

and we came here
to do boss things!

‐ Here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ [shrieks]
‐ And she's up in the air.

‐ [yelps]
‐ Oh!

‐ [groans]

‐ [coughs]
‐ Wow.

Belly flop.

‐ I heard that from up here.
‐ Oh, yeah.

‐ Let's go
to the instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?
[slow‐motion shriek]

‐ Gabriell living the chill
island life up there.

Cool breeze,
nice waves.

Then she takes a peaceful dip
in the water.

[slow‐motion yelp]

‐ And her official is in,
Mike.

She got two 3‐point balls,
one 2‐point ball,

and one 1‐point ball.

She got nine points,

and she's standing by
with Simon right now.

Simon?
‐ Mike and Rocsi, thank you.

I'm down here with Gabriell.

I just got
your official score.

You got nine points.
‐ Whoo!

‐ I don't know if you could've
done any better than that.

How are you feeling?

You think that's
good enough to move on?

‐ I think I'm gonna go on
to the next event.

I'm so excited.
I'm super confident.

‐ I'm excited for you too.

Back to you in the booth.

Gabriell!
‐ Thank you very much, Simon.

Who's our next athlete?

‐ Next up is Jenn LaMonaca.

What do you think
of Jenn's chances, Mike?

‐ She's one of the most
competitive people.

Even her boyfriend refuses
to play board games with her,

so she's here to play.

‐ I'm ready. I'm ready.

‐ I'm curious to see
how she does.

‐ All right,
here comes the count.

‐ Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ [screams]
‐ And she's up.

She's tossing four, five.

‐ Wow.
‐ Wow, she got a lot

of balls out of there.

‐ Incredible.

‐ That is what
I'm talking about.

‐ Live, local,
and late‐breaking,

it's Jenn LaMonaca
with sports.

Tonight
Jenn goes inside the world

of competitive Target Toss.

Spoiler alert:
she does great.

‐ She got one 3‐point,
two 2‐points,

and two 1‐pointers.

An impressive nine points
for Jenn.

‐ That was painful.

‐ [laughs]
‐ Who's our next competitor?

‐ Coming up next
is Vitoangelino Kaiewe.

‐ The ten grand, it's already
in my bank account.

That's how confident
I am, guys.

Let's go.
Winner's circle.

Aloha, "Cannonball."

I'm Vitoangelino Kaiewe.

I do executive protection
for a living,

and I'm the Flyin' Hawaiian.

I might have a dad bod,
and yes, I do security...

[siren wails]

But I'm not Paul Blart.

[ding]

[upbeat music]

Being in my line of work,

you have to be
physically tough,

mentally tough,
and I'm everything.

‐ He's trying to embrace
his dad bod,

which I don't have to because
I don't have a dad bod.

‐ You have a good dad roll.
‐ Look at that.

Dad roll?
These are abs.

Six‐pack abs!
Thank you very much.

‐ Our makeup department
did wonders

on painting those on Mike
this morning.

‐ How dare you, Rocsi?

‐ [laughs]
‐ How dare you?

‐ I'm excited to see
the Flyin' Hawaiian

go airborne.

‐ And here he goes.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Whoa!
‐ And he's up in the air.

‐ Whoa, whoa!
‐ And...

[crowd groans]

Belly flop.

‐ Oh.
‐ Oh, man.

‐ [burps]

‐ Let's go
to the instant replay

and see what happened.

‐ The self‐proclaimed
Flyin' Hawaiian

definitely stayed true
to his name,

but he forgot the old adage

that a Hawaiian who goes up
must come down.

Ouch.

‐ And, Mike,
his official score is in.

Vitoangelino
got one 3‐point ball,

two 2‐point balls,
and one 1‐point ball.

A total of eight points.

That's a really,
really good run from him.

So, Mike, as we say aloha
to Vito's replay,

let's say aloha
to some of our other athletes

who took on the Target Toss
earlier today,

like our '80s rocker Sarah...

‐ [screams]
‐ She threw one.

She threw two.

‐ Who was one
twisted sister out there

as she scored six points.

‐ [groans]
‐ Army Sergeant Aaron

also went through Target Toss
basic training,

where he tried to be
all he could be.

Too bad what he was
was only worth five points.

‐ Wow, that was
some major air.

[crowd groans]

Hey, Rocsi, let's keep
this party going

with the leaderboard.

‐ Good call, Mike.

Okay, Pineapple Gabi

and our Philly
sports journalist Jenn

currently at the top
of the leaderboard,

with Army Sergeant Aaron
on the bubble

and in danger of going home

as we go to our next athlete,
Alex Claud.

‐ [cheers]
Let's do it!

‐ Alex has been a competitive
dodgeball player

for the last five years

but only because
all the competitive

hopscotch leagues were full.

‐ Whoo.

‐ He looks like
he's ready to go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Whoo!
‐ He is up.

Oh! Wow.

Ouch.
‐ Ow.

‐ It was not a pretty sight.

‐ It was not graceful at all.

Let's take a look
at that instant replay.

The man's a professional,
Rocsi,

but he looked like an amateur
handling our tiny cannonballs.

You know, it looks like
he's riding an imaginary bike.

Too bad it didn't have
an imaginary parachute.

‐ Alex's score
is officially in, Mike.

Four points.

All four points
were 1‐ballers.

‐ Oh, man, I think that might
be the worst run of the day.

‐ [exhales sharply]

That's gonna be fun
to watch on TV.

‐ Yes, it will, Alex.

Who's our final athlete,
Rocsi?

‐ Coming up next
is Bronson Holland,

our daredevil dad.

‐ Trying to capture
my features.

I like it.
‐ You know, he's a competitor.

When he first came
on "Cannonball,"

he didn't even know
there was prize money.

He just wanted to do it
because he likes to daredevil.

He likes these different
adventures for his life.

But I'm not sure
how he's gonna do in this.

‐ Hoorah!

‐ It all comes down to this.

If Bronson can get
at least five points,

he will move on,
and Alex Claud

will have to pick up
his dodgeballs and go home.

Here we go.

‐ Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Whoa!
‐ Wow. Look at him go.

[cheers and applause]

I think he got
about four or five out there.

‐ Whoo!
Oh, that was great.

‐ Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

‐ Daredevil dad
cool as a cucumber up there.

I may have underestimated him,
and by that, I mean

I definitely
underestimated him.

‐ Bronson got
one 1‐point ball,

one 2‐point ball,
and one 3‐point ball

for a total of six points.

He's standing by
with Simon now.

Let's check in.

‐ Hey, thanks, guys.
I'm down here with Bronson.

All right, Bronson,
I got some news for you.

You're moving on
to the next round!

[cheers and applause]

You can't stop him!

Back to you in the booth!

‐ All right, with that,
we are now down to six.

And there they are,

each one of them determined

to take home the $10,000.

‐ Stick around,
because when we come back,

we're gonna send
these people into orbit

with nothing
but their swim trunks.

We'll be right back.

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

‐ Welcome back
to "Cannonball."

Round three is here,
and only six athletes remain.

Glory and our grand prize
of $10,000 is almost there.

‐ All right, next up,
it's the Drag.

Elevated 40' in the air,

our athletes will hold on
to a water ski handle

as they accelerate
off the launchpad,

reaching speeds
up to 40 miles per hour.

‐ What you have to do here is
hold on tight to the handle.

Your instincts
will tell you to let go

once you're off the ramp,

but they'll need to time
their release

in hopes of hitting
the target below.

‐ The five athletes
who can get the closest

to the center of the target

will move on
to the semifinals.

The other one
will be going home.

♪ ♪

‐ So, those watching at home,

not only is this
very hard to do,

but it's gonna be very‐‐
and I mean very‐‐entertaining.

‐ Coming up first
is Jenn LaMonaca.

‐ She has been a competitor
this entire time.

Lot of confidence, and...

she's utilizing her
sports journalist knowledge

for "Cannonball."

‐ Oh, God.
Oh, God.

‐ [laughs]

‐ "Oh, God" is exactly
the right saying.

She is looking
a little nervous.

She's breathing heavy.

Let's see how she does.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Wow.
She's got a lot of speed.

Nice launch.
‐ Whoo!

‐ Ooh!

Wow. Landed splat.

‐ That looked like it hurt.

Let's take a look
at that instant replay.

‐ Jenn with the body
positioning of Michael Phelps,

the hang time of Jordan,

and the landing skills
of that skier

from the opening
of the "Wide World of Sports."

‐ Mike, Jenn's results
are in right now.

She is 13'
from the target.

‐ Not a bad score at all.

We'll see if it holds up.

Who we got next?

‐ Coming up next is Aaron Pina.

‐ Yeah!
This is what I'm talking about!

Whoo!
‐ Man, he's ready for battle.

‐ Let's do this!
‐ Aaron is 200 pounds

of all muscle.

Muscle could fall
really fast in the water.

‐ His weight is gonna
take him down really quick,

so he needs to stay
on the ski rope

as long as possible

because, you know,
your eyes will deceive you.

‐ I'm ready.

‐ Time to sink or swim.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Good‐bye, army.
Hello, air force.

‐ [shouts]
‐ [groans]

‐ Whew.

‐ [groans]

‐ That was a belly flop.
‐ That was a belly flop.

‐ Ouchie.

‐ Looks like he's struggling.

‐ [groans]

‐ Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

‐ Sure, the army is dangerous,
but here at "Cannonball,"

we hurl you off
of scary‐high heights

and don't even give you
a parachute.

‐ Aaron's score
is in right now, Mike:

16'4".

‐ It's not terrible,
but highly doubt

that's what he was going for.

Who's our next athlete?

‐ Gabriell Smith is next
and ready at the launchpad.

‐ What's up?
[laughs]

‐ Gabriell is obsessed
with pineapples.

‐ I love pineapples too.

‐ And if she likes pineapples

as much as flying in the air,

then she's gonna do
really well in this challenge.

‐ Let's go!
Whoo, whoo!

‐ Semifinals on the line,

and she
is up on our launchpad.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
‐ The ski rope is launched.

As she launches off,

she uses her feet,
pushes herself forward.

And honestly, it looked like
a really good strategy.

‐ Nice! Okay!
‐ It really did.

‐ Let's go!

‐ Let's take a look
at that instant replay.

‐ She flies in the air,
and you notice

she pulls herself
towards the target

and lands in the water
very close to the target

and comes out saying,
"Let's go!"

‐ Her score is in:
7'3" from the target,

putting her in first place.

‐ Let's go to Simon
on the shoreline.

‐ Gabriell, great score.

That ten grand
is within your sights.

What are you gonna do
with that money if you win?

‐ Girls' trip!

‐ Girls' trip!

I'm one of the girls too!

I'm going.
I'm invited.

‐ All right,
thank you very much, Simon.

I would pay money to see Simon
on this girls' trip.

‐ I think Simon would pay money

just to be Simon
on a girls' trip.

‐ I couldn't agree
with you more.

Who's our next competitor?

‐ Coming up next
is Bronson Holland,

our daredevil dad.

‐ Let's do this.
‐ I don't know, Mike.

He's been mediocre
throughout the competition.

‐ Middle of the road
is not gonna cut it.

When you want to get
to the semifinals,

you want to show up.

This is the time to do it.

Right here, right now.

‐ Let's do this.

[cheers and applause]

‐ He knows the pressure's on,
and here we go.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ And Bronson is off.

He's holding on,
and he actually pulls himself.

This is actually
a really interesting

strategy by Bronson.

‐ He's celebrating
in the water right now.

He thinks he did a good job,
and his score is in, Mike:

8'1" from the center
of the target.

‐ Loved the entire run,
and that is a great score.

‐ Coming up next
is Vitoangelino Kaiewe.

‐ Whoo‐hoo‐hoo‐hoo‐whee!

Let's go, baby!

Ah!

The Flyin' Hawaiian's here.

‐ So what do you think of
Vitoangelino going in, Mike?

‐ Well, he's 6'3",
255 pounds,

so he needs
to hold on to the ski rope

as long as possible.

‐ Because of my weight
and my height,

I think I'm gonna let go

a little earlier
than maybe others would

because I know my body,
and my weight's gonna

let me fly at an angle,
so we'll see how that goes.

I think I got it.

‐ Unfortunately,
his strategy

is to let go
as soon as possible.

‐ Well, we'll be letting go
of Vitoangelino.

‐ [laughs]

‐ And here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Good, solid speed.

‐ Whoa!
‐ He lets go of the ski rope

way too early.

‐ Way too early.

‐ [burps]
‐ Let's see that again

in the replay.

‐ The ski rope launches him
off the launchpad.

He lets go right away.

This is his strategy,

but it's the wrong strategy

and he flops
right into the water.

‐ Damn.

‐ I'm gonna
go out on a limb and say

he's not on the top
of our leaderboard.

‐ No, he's not, Mike.

Vitoangelino comes in
at 20'5",

putting him in last
and in danger of going home.

‐ Who's our next athlete?

‐ Our next competitor
is Sarah Lipe.

She loves Journey,
Foreigner, Guns N' Roses.

She's a rock and roll girl.
‐ Great taste in music.

‐ Crowd‐surf this thing.

‐ Yes.
‐ She's invoking

a little bit of Journey,
saying, "Don't stop believing."

‐ Oh, there you go.
Okay.

‐ You got it, Sarah.
You got it. You got it.

‐ Sarah needs to get closer
than 20'5"

if she wants to take Vito's
place in the semifinals.

‐ You got it.
‐ And she's ready.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Crowd‐surf it, Sarah.

‐ [screams]
‐ She pulls herself

all the way,
very close to the target.

Very good job.

‐ Whoo!

‐ I love it;
she is coming up like,

"I did it!
I made it!"

‐ Yeah!

‐ Let's take a look
at that instant replay.

‐ ♪ Take me to the money,
honey! ♪

‐ She gets a clean launch

and brings her legs
into a flying V

in tribute
to hard rockers everywhere

and scoring herself
a front‐row seat

right next to the target.

‐ Mike, a really impressive
score for Sarah.

She has to be happy.
7'7".

She's standing by
with Simon right now.

Simon?
‐ All right, Sarah.

So I just got
your official score,

and you are one step closer
to going

to all the rock concerts
you want

'cause you're moving on
to the semifinals!

Yeah!
Back to you in the booth!

‐ Our top five are set,

and they are one step closer

to winning it all.

‐ Stick around,
because coming up,

we're gonna send people
flying through the air‐‐

again.
‐ Whoo!

Whoa!

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

‐ Welcome back
to "Cannonball,"

where it's time
for the semifinals.

We're down
to five athletes,

and that $10,000 grand prize
is just one round away.

‐ I mean, things
are really heating up.

I mean, can the stakes
get any higher?

‐ Yes, they can,
in the finals.

But for the sake of making this
as exciting as possible,

no, they cannot.

What's up next?

‐ All right,
up next is Rip‐N‐Fly.

Our athletes will be yanked
50' into the air,

and from there, they'll need
to grab a rip cord

while moving forward
and then pull it

at the height
of their trajectory

in hopes of flying
as far as they can.

‐ It all happens
in a split second,

so you better be ready.

You've gotta release
when you're at your peak.

Anything before or after
will be a disaster.

‐ The four athletes who travel
the farthest distance

will move on to the finals.

The other one
will be going home.

All right, let's head on over
to the cannonball platform,

where our first competitor
is Gabriell Smith,

our pineapple fanatic.

What do you think of Gabriell?
‐ Yes.

That is the confidence
of somebody

who owns a pineapple costume
and wears it.

‐ This is the semifinals.

I think she's just
gonna bring the same

competitive spirit that she's
had since the very beginning

and dominate in this contest.

‐ Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.

You got this, girl.
You got this.

‐ All right,
pumping herself up.

‐ Yeah, and she looks like
she's ready to go.

Three, two, one...

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ [shouts]

‐ And she is floating
through the air

and does a nice
feet‐first landing.

Wow, she's gotta be happy
with that round.

‐ Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?

‐ Gabriell
with a sweet launch,

some might even say as sweet
as pineapple on a pizza.

I wouldn't,
but some might.

‐ Gabriell getting
a sweet distance of 68'11".

‐ Not bad at all.

Who's our next competitor?

‐ Bronson Holland is up next.
‐ There we go.

He's been doing pretty well.

I mean, hell,
he's in the semifinals.

‐ Yeah. What do you think
about his stance right now?

It's kind of like
a puppet on the string

waiting for his master
to pull the cord

for his next action.
‐ Oh, well, don't worry.

Master's about to say,
"Three, two, one, cannonball,"

and you're about to be
lifted in the air.

‐ [laughs]
‐ I feel like a superhero.

‐ "Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Bronson."

It's go time.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ And he is off.
‐ Whoo!

‐ He's flying.
‐ He is releasing.

‐ Oh! Yeah!

Yeah!
‐ Whoa.

‐ Complete back flop
into the water.

‐ Whoo!
‐ A very awkward landing.

Let's take a look
at the instant replay, Mike.

‐ Daredevil dad
living on the edge

with an awkward stance
to start.

Then he showboats
with an out‐of‐control entry.

It's like I'm watching
The Rock.

I wonder if Bronson
can do that eyebrow thing.

‐ Ooh, rough landing,
but he was still able

to get a distance of 70'4".

‐ He's fun to watch,
and he does well

in these challenges.

Who's our next competitor?

‐ Our next competitor
is Sarah Lipe.

I feel like
she may love this one

because she's our local
rock and roll girl.

‐ Absolutely.

It's like Bon Jovi
at a concert

when he's flying over everyone,
singing and playing guitar.

All that stuff.
‐ I love it.

‐ Higher, further, faster.

‐ This girl is focused.

‐ And she looks ready.

In three, two, one...

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ [shrieks]
‐ And she is up.

And she is screaming
the entire time.

Wow, that was really,
really well done.

‐ Really impressive, Mike.

‐ Oh, man.

‐ And Sarah's score
just came in.

She was crowd‐surfing
up there, man.

72'1".

‐ That is what
I'm talking about.

‐ Gnarly, dude!

‐ Coming up next is our sports
journalist, Jenn LaMonaca.

‐ Whoo!

‐ What do you think of Jenn,
Mike?

‐ Well, I think
if Jenn can do better

than 68'11",

she'll be going to the finals.

‐ She's got
a competitive spirit.

That has been
getting her through

this entire competition.

‐ Oh, God.

Oh, Lord.

‐ Five athletes,
one is going home.

Let's see what she does.

‐ Three, two, one...

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

And she is up.
‐ She's flying.

‐ She's flying,

but a late release.
‐ Oh!

‐ A really late release.
‐ Yeah.

‐ [blows sharply]
[groans]

‐ She's definitely
gonna be on the bubble

for the leaderboard, Mike.

‐ We'll see if that costs her.

‐ With a score of 68'5",

Jenn puts herself
at the bottom of the pack,

and she's in danger
of going home

as we go to our last athlete,
Army Sergeant Aaron Pina.

‐ Whoo!

‐ Aaron has been coasting by

each and every round.

He has literally been
the last person to make it

in every single round.

He's gotta find
his inner bomber pilot.

‐ Right.
‐ Anticipate his flight path,

and then let it rip.

‐ This could be the ride
that takes him to the finals

or the ride
that sends him home.

‐ I'm nervous. I'm nervous.
‐ I'm nervous for him.

‐ I'm nervous
for him right now.

It officially
all comes down to this.

Here we go.

Three, two, one...

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

And he is off
and is going,

and he lets go.

[crowd groans]
Ouch.

‐ That did not look good.

That did not look too pretty.

‐ That looked like it hurt.

Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

‐ Sergeant Pina reporting
for belly‐flopping duty.

[patriotic music]

Thank you, may I have another,
Drill Sergeant, sir?

[air whistling]

‐ And Aaron comes in
at 65'9".

We salute you, Sergeant,
but unfortunately,

that means you're going home.

All right, let's take a look
at the leaderboard,

and look at the ladies
running things right there.

There you have it.
The finals are set.

And soon
one of these four people

will be heading home
with $10,000.

‐ Finals are next,
and we're about to make

one person very happy.

Or if seeing sad is your thing,
we'll have that too.

Stick around.

[upbeat music]

‐ Welcome back
to "Cannonball,"

where the finals
have officially arrived.

We started with 12,
but only 4 remain in the hunt

for our grand prize
of $10,000.

‐ The pressure
is truly on, Mike.

I can't wait to see which one
of these brave athletes

will walk away victorious.

‐ Neither can I, Rocsi.

‐ Will it be sports journalist
Jenn LaMonaca,

'80s rocker Sarah Lipe,

pineapple enthusiast
Gabriell Smith,

or daredevil dad
Bronson Holland.

‐ Let's get right to it
and take a look

at our fifth
and final challenge.

‐ It's time for the Cannon.

Our finalists will rocket down
our souped‐up Mega Slide,

now 20' longer and with
a 45‐degree launch at the end.

‐ I think we've really
outdone ourselves,

but there's one more thing.

When they hit that launch,

they'll be in total darkness.

‐ Each athlete's
maximum height

plus total distance
equals their final score.

‐ This is the time to prove

that you're worthy
of the finals of "Cannonball."

‐ First athlete on deck
in the finals

is sports journalist
Jenn LaMonaca.

What do you think of Jenn,
Mike?

‐ Well, she started off

as a really
confident competitor,

placing in second
in the first two rounds.

Then she's kind of
slowly teetering off.

You gotta wonder if the nerves
are affecting her.

She needs a perfect run
to win this competition.

‐ Good luck.
Have fun. Have fun.

‐ Okay, okay.
Okay, wait, wait. wait.

‐ She looks nervous,
very nervous.

And here we go.

She is ready
in three, two, one...

both: Cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Kind of a floppy entrance.
She's got a lot of drag.

Good speed.
She goes for a cannonball!

That is incredible!

‐ Whoo!

‐ She's proud of what she did,

but let's take a look
at the instant replay, Mike.

What do you see?

‐ For someone who's usually
on the sidelines,

Jenn showed us she's got game
with a big reach‐up.

‐ Getting a height
of 24'2",

then she went
for a cannonball,

which limited
her distance a bit

to 34'5",
giving her a total score

of 58'7".

‐ You know,
that's not a bad score,

but this is where
the champions play,

so only time will tell
if it's enough.

‐ We'll find out soon
with '80s rocker Sarah

ready to go.

Welcome to the jungle, Sarah.

What do you think of her?

‐ She needs
all that velocity she can get.

‐ That's right.
‐ She's only 5'3", 115 pounds.

‐ She's used to going
to rock and roll concerts.

She's used to pyrotechnics,
so she should not be startled

when she's coming
out of that cannon.

‐ She seems focused,
and she looks ready.

In...

both: Three, two, one...

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

‐ Drifting to her right.
Ooh, there's a ton of drag.

‐ [screams]
‐ Oh, wow!

Lands on her back.

You gotta be controlled
and tight

when you come out
of that cannon.

She was not
either of those things.

‐ All right, we'll see
what part of her body

hit the water first,
but let's look

at this instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?

‐ Some drift and drag,

but Sarah explodes
out of the cannon,

throwing her hands up
like she's rocking out

to a guitar solo.

‐ That gave her a height
of 24'2".

Then her awkward entry
and left foot hitting first

resulted in a distance
of 35'7"

for a total of 59'9".

‐ Hey, Rocs,
now would be a good time

to pour some sugar on me

with one
of your sweet leaderboards.

‐ Sounds good, Mike.

59 is more than 58,

so that means good‐bye to Jenn

and hello to our new leader,
Sarah Lipe.

She's standing by
with Simon right now.

Simon?
‐ All right, Sarah.

So your official score

is 59'9".

Do you think
that's gonna hold up?

‐ I hope so.
I really, really hope so.

I wish I would've done
some things different,

but, you know,

we just gotta live on a prayer
with that score.

‐ Living on a prayer.

Little nervous.
Back to you in the booth.

‐ Don't go anywhere,
because when we come back,

our final two athletes
see if they've got

what it takes to bring home
the grand prize.

‐ Welcome back
to "Cannonball."

It's finals time.

With two athletes left,

we're halfway
through the final round.

That $10,000 grand prize
is officially closer than ever.

‐ With a score of 59'9",

Sarah Lipe
knocked off Jenn LaMonaca,

which puts '80s rocker Sarah

into the driver's seat

of this crazy train

halfway through our finals.

I can't wait to see which one
of these brave athletes

will be crowned
our "Cannonball" champion.

Gabriell Smith is coming up.
Mike, how does she look?

‐ Gabriell is 5'10",
185 pounds,

so she has the length.

If she attacks that entry

and has no drag whatsoever
down that slide,

she should able
to get the distance she wants

and the height she needs
to win this whole thing.

‐ Yes! Oh, we're doing
the finals dance.

We're out here.

We're gonna get that W.

[laughs]

‐ She's gonna go home
with $10,000.

She's gonna spend it
on pineapples.

Gabriell is ready to go.

In three, two, one...

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

Nice jump in.

No drag whatsoever.

She flies and uses her hands,

but does her feet hit first?

‐ Whoo!

‐ It'll be interesting to see
how good her score really is.

‐ Thank you, "Cannonball"!

‐ She's happy
with what she did.

She's celebrating
in the water.

Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

‐ Gabriell gains a ton
of speed down that slide,

but when she goes
through the cannon,

there's no push‐off.

‐ And that limited her height
to 23' even.

With her foot
hitting first,

she got only
an average distance of 34'8",

adding up to a total score
of 57'8".

‐ Which means
'80s rocker Sarah

is still in that top spot

with her score of 59'9".

But, you know, Rocsi,
every rose has its thorn,

and daredevil dad
is looking to be that thorn

and knock Sarah out.

‐ Bronson Holland,
the only guy

that was allowed
into the girls' club today.

‐ I am absolutely terrified.

‐ Only Bronson stands
between Sarah and $10,000.

It all comes down to this,
Rocsi.

‐ The pressure's on.

‐ He looks ready to go.
Let's see how he does.

In three, two, one...

cannonball!
[air horn blares]

And he jumps into it.
He attacks it.

Nice velocity.
Nice distance.

‐ Whoo!

‐ Wow.

This is the one to beat.

‐ Whoo!
‐ He had a great, great run.

Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

Mike, what do you see?

‐ A lot to like
about Bronson's run,

but he held on
to that sled too long,

and that clearly limited
his ability to reach up high.

‐ Yeah, after being
middle of the pack all day,

Bronson finally showed up,

but will it be enough
to take home the win?

Simon is down with him now.
Simon?

‐ Bronson, I just got
your official score,

and it is 71'9".

And guess what, dude.

You just won "Cannonball"!

‐ Yes!
‐ You just won $10,000!

‐ Whoo!

‐ Oh!
‐ Yes!

‐ Oh, my God.
How are you feeling right now?

‐ Simon, I feel so good.

I couldn't have done this
without my family,

without you,

without my lovely audience,

and just‐‐
thank you guys so much.

Thank you.
‐ Thank everyone.

He thanked me too!
He earned it.

Oh, Mike and Rocsi,
back to you in the booth.

That was incredible.

‐ Congratulations,
Bronson Holland.

Well, it was fast,
it was fun,

and now it's finished.

For Rocsi Diaz
and Simon Gibson,

I'm Mike Mizanin,

and this was "Cannonball."

[triumphant music]

‐ Well, that's the show,
folks, from our bay of dreams.

Build it,
and they will cannonball.

So long, everybody.

♪ ♪