Original subtitles

‐ Cannonball Bay, where elite athletes

face off in the most extreme water park in the world,

all in pursuit of $10,000 in cold, wet cash.

‐ Oh, man! ‐ Oh, man!

‐ Gnarly, dude!

‐ [shouts]

‐ So strap in, America.

This is "Cannonball."

‐ Oh! ‐ [laughs]

‐ Whoo! Thank you, "Cannonball"!

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

‐ Welcome to "Cannonball." I'm your host Mike Mizanin.

By my side is my friend and cohost, Rocsi Diaz.

‐ And we're about to have some fun today, Mike.

And these competitors are about to get wet

and compete for $10,000.

‐ I hope you're ready, because it's time to cannonball.

♪ ♪

‐ Okay, first up is Speed Skimmer.

Our athletes will rocket down our seven‐story Mega Slide,

topping speeds of 80 miles per hour,

then maneuver between these buoys

without crashing and try to skim

as far across the bay as they can.

‐ On this challenge, you gotta avoid drag.

So keep those feet up as you go down the slide

and as you skim across the water.

‐ The seven athletes who travel the farthest

will move on.

‐ The others will have to take Speed Skimmer

again next semester.

‐ Before we get started, let's check in

with our sideline reporter, Simon Gibson,

down on the shoreline. Simon?

‐ Mike and Rocsi, thank you so much.

We're cannonballing, baby! Come on!

Yeah! [cheers and applause]

I'm not doing any of these events at all!

‐ Thank you very much, Simon.

‐ He is compelling. ‐ Yes, he is.

‐ All right, let's head up to the top

of the Mega Slide, where our first athlete

is getting ready.

‐ Holy [bleep].

[shouts]

♪ ♪

I'm Jenn LaMonaca, and I'm a sports journalist.

I have a good Philly accent

with a little bit of Italian in there.

I've always been into competitive sports.

I watch them, I report on them,

and now I'm in them.

I'm so competitive, my boyfriend

won't even play board games with me anymore.

I hope to do so well today

that they send a sports journalist

to write an article about me.

‐ She's got a big East Coast attitude,

which I absolutely love.

‐ Yeah, shout‐out to everybody back home.

Love you, twin. Love you, Philly.

I'm here for you.

‐ She's from Philly.

She's ready to attack this slide.

I want to see‐‐I want her to attack that entry.

‐ She looks ready.

‐ Here we go.

both: Three, two, one,

cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Flawless entry.

‐ Whoo!

Oof! ‐ Tons of speed. Nice.

Wow, that is a really good run.

‐ Yeah, I totally agree with you, Mike.

Let's take a look at her instant replay.

‐ Tossing her pencil and paper aside,

this sports journalist jumps into the action

and realizes life is much drier

behind the camera.

‐ [grunts]

‐ Okay, Jenn went a distance of 105'5".

‐ That is an impressive run.

It's gonna be very hard to beat.

Who's our next athlete?

‐ Coming up next is Sarah Lipe.

She is up there on top of the Mega Slide.

‐ Oh, my God. It's so high.

[gasps]

[hard rock music]

‐ ♪ I'm gonna rock! ♪

‐ Hi, I'm Sarah, I'm 19,

and I'm from sunny San Diego.

I love '80s rock with a passion.

♪ ♪

I listen to it when I'm in the gym, in the car.

I'm head‐banging all the time, man.

I'm ready to rock "Cannonball" like a hurricane.

‐ Her favorite groups are Def Leppard‐‐

and by the way, when I saw that,

I went thumbs‐up for Sarah.

It's my favorite band.

‐ [vocalizing]

♪ ♪

‐ I'm not gonna lie.

That's the word head‐bang

I've ever seen in my entire life.

‐ Because you're a hater, Mike. You're a hater.

♪ ♪

‐ She looks a bit nervous.

‐ She does look a bit nervous up there.

‐ Let's see how she does.

both: Three, two, one,

cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ And she is off. A nice hop on.

‐ [shouts]

[grunts]

‐ Wow! That was a very solid run.

‐ Yeah!

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ Like a groupie trying to get backstage,

Sarah steers around the buoys like they're security

but gets hip‐checked by the drummer's girlfriend

just before she can get an autograph.

‐ Her distance, Mike: 98'6".

What a great, great run.

‐ Who's our next competitor?

‐ Coming up next is Aaron Pina.

‐ This is what it's all about, baby!

Whoo!

[militaristic classical music]

Sergeant Pina reporting for "Cannonball," sir.

I served in the army and the air force,

so I got the land and the air in this competition.

In the air force, we get excited. [grunts]

I have the strength and the speed,

so nothing can stop me.

Let's go, "Cannonball"!

‐ You know, Aaron has been in the army

and the armed forces for 21 years,

so thank you for your service.

‐ [grunts aggressively]

‐ Seems to have a lot of energy

up there at our Mega Slide platform right now, Mike.

‐ He's getting himself pumped up,

and he's ready to go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

Nice jumping start.

Very good speed.

‐ [shouts] ‐ Oh, man!

Just goes down!

‐ [groans]

‐ May have attacked it a little too hard.

Let's take a look at that instant replay, Mike.

‐ Every great battle in history

started with a giant slide,

and this battle is no different.

But please do not look that up.

‐ [grunts]

‐ Aaron's official score is in, Mike.

He's coming in at 48' even.

‐ Thank you for your service, Soldier.

All right, let's see how this grunt

measures up to today's other athletes.

‐ I'm on it, Mike.

With that run, Sergeant Pina

drops to the bottom of our leaderboard.

Sports journalist Jenn leading the way,

with '80s rocker Sarah in second.

‐ Who we got next?

‐ Coming up next is Alex Claud.

‐ Have you ever questioned your life decisions?

'Cause I am right now.

What up? My name is Alex.

I'm 28 years old,

and I'm from Coopertown, Tennessee.

I'm a competitive dodgeball player.

I need a competitive outlet.

Dodgeball's kind of a place where when I see red...

[mechanical whirring]

[beeping]

I just destroy everyone else.

[ominous music]

[distorted] Destroy everyone else.

♪ ♪

[mechanical whirring]

If I can dodge balls flying at my face,

I can definitely dodge "Cannonball."

‐ Pro dodgeballer. I like him already.

‐ He considers himself

the Michael Jordan of dodgeball,

so I bet he's hoping his first run

isn't his last dance on "Cannonball."

Here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ And he's got a little bit of drag.

‐ [shouts]

[grunts] ‐ Wow, look at him go.

What a good, good run.

‐ [laughs]

‐ Probably the best run of the day.

‐ Oh, God!

‐ I mean, the man is a pro.

All that dodgeball training really paying off.

Bobbing and weaving and not letting

any of our buoys take him down.

‐ His distance: 124'2",

definitely putting him at the top of the leaderboard.

And he's standing by with Simon right now.

Simon?

‐ I'm here with Alex.

Alex, you got something working for you,

and that's‐‐you have a similar taste in shirts as myself.

One question for you.

Could I rock the sleeveless Hawaiian shirt?

‐ Absolutely. Can I rip them off for you?

[laughter]

‐ Off camera, yes, you can.

Back to you in the booth!

‐ All right, thank you very much, Simon.

Who we got next?

‐ Coming up next is Bronson Holland.

‐ Yeah.

Whoo! Let's do this, baby.

My name is Bronson Holland. I'm 21 years old.

Whoo!

I'm a full‐time stay‐at‐home dad,

and I'm a daredevil.

[record scratches]

[sweeping operatic music]

I actually was dared by my wife to come on this show,

which I accepted

because I never back down from a dare.

I never say no to a dare,

but I'm kind of wishing I did now.

‐ Bronson never says no to a dare.

He was once dared to jump

on a medicine ball on a treadmill,

and the video of him faceplanting went viral.

I got a feeling he's got a couple more

viral videos coming his way today.

And here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Nice jumping start.

‐ Whoo!

‐ Nice. ‐ Oh, man!

He actually hits the blue buoy.

‐ Yeah! ‐ I'm curious to see

what his official score will be.

‐ Yeah!

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ Daredevil dad looking more dad than daredevil.

I'm not sure if this is gonna cut it.

‐ Bronson got 69'4".

He's with Simon now,

who's about to reveal his fate.

‐ All right, Bronson.

I know that you love dares,

so I got one more dare for you.

‐ What's the dare? ‐ I dare you

to move on to the next round!

'Cause that's what you're doing!

‐ Challenge accepted, Simon! ‐ Challenge accepted!

‐ Challenge accepted!

‐ Bronson! Back to you in the booth!

‐ Whoo!

‐ Okay, so Bronson is moving on

to round two.

Joining him is Gabriell Smith

and Vitoangelino Kaiewe.

‐ And our top seven is set.

Congrats to you all,

but for now, we have

to say good‐bye to those

who didn't make the cut

and won't be moving on.

Cue the montage.

[grand orchestral music]

[boinging]

Okay, maybe not the montage you were expecting,

but I just really wanted to see that fanny pack guy.

Stick around, because when we come back,

things get the appropriate amount of wet and wild.

‐ Whoa, whoa! [crowd groans]

[upbeat music]

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball."

It's time for round two, and our remaining athletes

are ready and waiting.

‐ That first round was nuts,

but things are only going to get tougher

for these athletes.

‐ That's right, but in the words

of Theodore Roosevelt,

nothing worth having comes easy.

‐ I'm actually really impressed, Mike.

‐ Don't underestimate me, Rocsi.

‐ All right, our next challenge is Target Toss.

A massive cannonball will drop

onto our giant air blaster

and launch our athletes skyward,

where they will throw balls

into our 1‐, 2‐, and 3‐point zones

or our 4‐point box.

‐ Here, it comes down to quantity versus quality.

Take a rapid‐fire approach,

and you can get a lot of low‐end points.

Or slow things down, go for accuracy,

and focus on the higher points.

‐ The six athletes with the highest scores

will move on to the next round.

‐ The other one will go home richer for the experience,

just not $10,000 richer.

‐ Up next is our first competitor,

Gabriell Smith.

‐ The goal is to get rid of all the balls

even if they're 1s.

They call me Pineapple Gabi.

I love pineapples.

[upbeat tropical music]

I love to eat pineapples.

I have a pineapple tattoo on my ankle.

I collect pineapple trinkets.

My motto is to live life like a pineapple:

be sweet, stand tall, and wear a crown.

[smooch]

Whoo! [laughs]

‐ She's obsessed with pineapples.

She even has a pineapple tattoo.

Gabi, that tattoo better not be anywhere near

a tattoo of a pizza.

‐ [laughs]

‐ We're gonna make it happen,

'cause we're a boss,

and we came here to do boss things!

‐ Here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ [shrieks] ‐ And she's up in the air.

‐ [yelps] ‐ Oh!

‐ [groans]

‐ [coughs] ‐ Wow.

Belly flop.

‐ I heard that from up here. ‐ Oh, yeah.

‐ Let's go to the instant replay.

What do you see, Mike? [slow‐motion shriek]

‐ Gabriell living the chill island life up there.

Cool breeze, nice waves.

Then she takes a peaceful dip in the water.

[slow‐motion yelp]

‐ And her official is in, Mike.

She got two 3‐point balls, one 2‐point ball,

and one 1‐point ball.

She got nine points,

and she's standing by with Simon right now.

Simon? ‐ Mike and Rocsi, thank you.

I'm down here with Gabriell.

I just got your official score.

You got nine points. ‐ Whoo!

‐ I don't know if you could've done any better than that.

How are you feeling?

You think that's good enough to move on?

‐ I think I'm gonna go on to the next event.

I'm so excited. I'm super confident.

‐ I'm excited for you too.

Back to you in the booth.

Gabriell! ‐ Thank you very much, Simon.

Who's our next athlete?

‐ Next up is Jenn LaMonaca.

What do you think of Jenn's chances, Mike?

‐ She's one of the most competitive people.

Even her boyfriend refuses to play board games with her,

so she's here to play.

‐ I'm ready. I'm ready.

‐ I'm curious to see how she does.

‐ All right, here comes the count.

‐ Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ [screams] ‐ And she's up.

She's tossing four, five.

‐ Wow. ‐ Wow, she got a lot

of balls out of there.

‐ Incredible.

‐ That is what I'm talking about.

‐ Live, local, and late‐breaking,

it's Jenn LaMonaca with sports.

Tonight Jenn goes inside the world

of competitive Target Toss.

Spoiler alert: she does great.

‐ She got one 3‐point, two 2‐points,

and two 1‐pointers.

An impressive nine points for Jenn.

‐ That was painful.

‐ [laughs] ‐ Who's our next competitor?

‐ Coming up next is Vitoangelino Kaiewe.

‐ The ten grand, it's already in my bank account.

That's how confident I am, guys.

Let's go. Winner's circle.

Aloha, "Cannonball."

I'm Vitoangelino Kaiewe.

I do executive protection for a living,

and I'm the Flyin' Hawaiian.

I might have a dad bod, and yes, I do security...

[siren wails]

But I'm not Paul Blart.

[ding]

[upbeat music]

Being in my line of work,

you have to be physically tough,

mentally tough, and I'm everything.

‐ He's trying to embrace his dad bod,

which I don't have to because I don't have a dad bod.

‐ You have a good dad roll. ‐ Look at that.

Dad roll? These are abs.

Six‐pack abs! Thank you very much.

‐ Our makeup department did wonders

on painting those on Mike this morning.

‐ How dare you, Rocsi?

‐ [laughs] ‐ How dare you?

‐ I'm excited to see the Flyin' Hawaiian

go airborne.

‐ And here he goes.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Whoa! ‐ And he's up in the air.

‐ Whoa, whoa! ‐ And...

[crowd groans]

Belly flop.

‐ Oh. ‐ Oh, man.

‐ [burps]

‐ Let's go to the instant replay

and see what happened.

‐ The self‐proclaimed Flyin' Hawaiian

definitely stayed true to his name,

but he forgot the old adage

that a Hawaiian who goes up must come down.

Ouch.

‐ And, Mike, his official score is in.

Vitoangelino got one 3‐point ball,

two 2‐point balls, and one 1‐point ball.

A total of eight points.

That's a really, really good run from him.

So, Mike, as we say aloha to Vito's replay,

let's say aloha to some of our other athletes

who took on the Target Toss earlier today,

like our '80s rocker Sarah...

‐ [screams] ‐ She threw one.

She threw two.

‐ Who was one twisted sister out there

as she scored six points.

‐ [groans] ‐ Army Sergeant Aaron

also went through Target Toss basic training,

where he tried to be all he could be.

Too bad what he was was only worth five points.

‐ Wow, that was some major air.

[crowd groans]

Hey, Rocsi, let's keep this party going

with the leaderboard.

‐ Good call, Mike.

Okay, Pineapple Gabi

and our Philly sports journalist Jenn

currently at the top of the leaderboard,

with Army Sergeant Aaron on the bubble

and in danger of going home

as we go to our next athlete, Alex Claud.

‐ [cheers] Let's do it!

‐ Alex has been a competitive dodgeball player

for the last five years

but only because all the competitive

hopscotch leagues were full.

‐ Whoo.

‐ He looks like he's ready to go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Whoo! ‐ He is up.

Oh! Wow.

Ouch. ‐ Ow.

‐ It was not a pretty sight.

‐ It was not graceful at all.

Let's take a look at that instant replay.

The man's a professional, Rocsi,

but he looked like an amateur handling our tiny cannonballs.

You know, it looks like he's riding an imaginary bike.

Too bad it didn't have an imaginary parachute.

‐ Alex's score is officially in, Mike.

Four points.

All four points were 1‐ballers.

‐ Oh, man, I think that might be the worst run of the day.

‐ [exhales sharply]

That's gonna be fun to watch on TV.

‐ Yes, it will, Alex.

Who's our final athlete, Rocsi?

‐ Coming up next is Bronson Holland,

our daredevil dad.

‐ Trying to capture my features.

I like it. ‐ You know, he's a competitor.

When he first came on "Cannonball,"

he didn't even know there was prize money.

He just wanted to do it because he likes to daredevil.

He likes these different adventures for his life.

But I'm not sure how he's gonna do in this.

‐ Hoorah!

‐ It all comes down to this.

If Bronson can get at least five points,

he will move on, and Alex Claud

will have to pick up his dodgeballs and go home.

Here we go.

‐ Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Whoa! ‐ Wow. Look at him go.

[cheers and applause]

I think he got about four or five out there.

‐ Whoo! Oh, that was great.

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ Daredevil dad cool as a cucumber up there.

I may have underestimated him, and by that, I mean

I definitely underestimated him.

‐ Bronson got one 1‐point ball,

one 2‐point ball, and one 3‐point ball

for a total of six points.

He's standing by with Simon now.

Let's check in.

‐ Hey, thanks, guys. I'm down here with Bronson.

All right, Bronson, I got some news for you.

You're moving on to the next round!

[cheers and applause]

You can't stop him!

Back to you in the booth!

‐ All right, with that, we are now down to six.

And there they are,

each one of them determined

to take home the $10,000.

‐ Stick around, because when we come back,

we're gonna send these people into orbit

with nothing but their swim trunks.

We'll be right back.

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball."

Round three is here, and only six athletes remain.

Glory and our grand prize of $10,000 is almost there.

‐ All right, next up, it's the Drag.

Elevated 40' in the air,

our athletes will hold on to a water ski handle

as they accelerate off the launchpad,

reaching speeds up to 40 miles per hour.

‐ What you have to do here is hold on tight to the handle.

Your instincts will tell you to let go

once you're off the ramp,

but they'll need to time their release

in hopes of hitting the target below.

‐ The five athletes who can get the closest

to the center of the target

will move on to the semifinals.

The other one will be going home.

♪ ♪

‐ So, those watching at home,

not only is this very hard to do,

but it's gonna be very‐‐ and I mean very‐‐entertaining.

‐ Coming up first is Jenn LaMonaca.

‐ She has been a competitor this entire time.

Lot of confidence, and...

she's utilizing her sports journalist knowledge

for "Cannonball."

‐ Oh, God. Oh, God.

‐ [laughs]

‐ "Oh, God" is exactly the right saying.

She is looking a little nervous.

She's breathing heavy.

Let's see how she does.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Wow. She's got a lot of speed.

Nice launch. ‐ Whoo!

‐ Ooh!

Wow. Landed splat.

‐ That looked like it hurt.

Let's take a look at that instant replay.

‐ Jenn with the body positioning of Michael Phelps,

the hang time of Jordan,

and the landing skills of that skier

from the opening of the "Wide World of Sports."

‐ Mike, Jenn's results are in right now.

She is 13' from the target.

‐ Not a bad score at all.

We'll see if it holds up.

Who we got next?

‐ Coming up next is Aaron Pina.

‐ Yeah! This is what I'm talking about!

Whoo! ‐ Man, he's ready for battle.

‐ Let's do this! ‐ Aaron is 200 pounds

of all muscle.

Muscle could fall really fast in the water.

‐ His weight is gonna take him down really quick,

so he needs to stay on the ski rope

as long as possible

because, you know, your eyes will deceive you.

‐ I'm ready.

‐ Time to sink or swim.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Good‐bye, army. Hello, air force.

‐ [shouts] ‐ [groans]

‐ Whew.

‐ [groans]

‐ That was a belly flop. ‐ That was a belly flop.

‐ Ouchie.

‐ Looks like he's struggling.

‐ [groans]

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ Sure, the army is dangerous, but here at "Cannonball,"

we hurl you off of scary‐high heights

and don't even give you a parachute.

‐ Aaron's score is in right now, Mike:

16'4".

‐ It's not terrible, but highly doubt

that's what he was going for.

Who's our next athlete?

‐ Gabriell Smith is next and ready at the launchpad.

‐ What's up? [laughs]

‐ Gabriell is obsessed with pineapples.

‐ I love pineapples too.

‐ And if she likes pineapples

as much as flying in the air,

then she's gonna do really well in this challenge.

‐ Let's go! Whoo, whoo!

‐ Semifinals on the line,

and she is up on our launchpad.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! ‐ The ski rope is launched.

As she launches off,

she uses her feet, pushes herself forward.

And honestly, it looked like a really good strategy.

‐ Nice! Okay! ‐ It really did.

‐ Let's go!

‐ Let's take a look at that instant replay.

‐ She flies in the air, and you notice

she pulls herself towards the target

and lands in the water very close to the target

and comes out saying, "Let's go!"

‐ Her score is in: 7'3" from the target,

putting her in first place.

‐ Let's go to Simon on the shoreline.

‐ Gabriell, great score.

That ten grand is within your sights.

What are you gonna do with that money if you win?

‐ Girls' trip!

‐ Girls' trip!

I'm one of the girls too!

I'm going. I'm invited.

‐ All right, thank you very much, Simon.

I would pay money to see Simon on this girls' trip.

‐ I think Simon would pay money

just to be Simon on a girls' trip.

‐ I couldn't agree with you more.

Who's our next competitor?

‐ Coming up next is Bronson Holland,

our daredevil dad.

‐ Let's do this. ‐ I don't know, Mike.

He's been mediocre throughout the competition.

‐ Middle of the road is not gonna cut it.

When you want to get to the semifinals,

you want to show up.

This is the time to do it.

Right here, right now.

‐ Let's do this.

[cheers and applause]

‐ He knows the pressure's on, and here we go.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ And Bronson is off.

He's holding on, and he actually pulls himself.

This is actually a really interesting

strategy by Bronson.

‐ He's celebrating in the water right now.

He thinks he did a good job, and his score is in, Mike:

8'1" from the center of the target.

‐ Loved the entire run, and that is a great score.

‐ Coming up next is Vitoangelino Kaiewe.

‐ Whoo‐hoo‐hoo‐hoo‐whee!

Let's go, baby!

Ah!

The Flyin' Hawaiian's here.

‐ So what do you think of Vitoangelino going in, Mike?

‐ Well, he's 6'3", 255 pounds,

so he needs to hold on to the ski rope

as long as possible.

‐ Because of my weight and my height,

I think I'm gonna let go

a little earlier than maybe others would

because I know my body, and my weight's gonna

let me fly at an angle, so we'll see how that goes.

I think I got it.

‐ Unfortunately, his strategy

is to let go as soon as possible.

‐ Well, we'll be letting go of Vitoangelino.

‐ [laughs]

‐ And here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Good, solid speed.

‐ Whoa! ‐ He lets go of the ski rope

way too early.

‐ Way too early.

‐ [burps] ‐ Let's see that again

in the replay.

‐ The ski rope launches him off the launchpad.

He lets go right away.

This is his strategy,

but it's the wrong strategy

and he flops right into the water.

‐ Damn.

‐ I'm gonna go out on a limb and say

he's not on the top of our leaderboard.

‐ No, he's not, Mike.

Vitoangelino comes in at 20'5",

putting him in last and in danger of going home.

‐ Who's our next athlete?

‐ Our next competitor is Sarah Lipe.

She loves Journey, Foreigner, Guns N' Roses.

She's a rock and roll girl. ‐ Great taste in music.

‐ Crowd‐surf this thing.

‐ Yes. ‐ She's invoking

a little bit of Journey, saying, "Don't stop believing."

‐ Oh, there you go. Okay.

‐ You got it, Sarah. You got it. You got it.

‐ Sarah needs to get closer than 20'5"

if she wants to take Vito's place in the semifinals.

‐ You got it. ‐ And she's ready.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Crowd‐surf it, Sarah.

‐ [screams] ‐ She pulls herself

all the way, very close to the target.

Very good job.

‐ Whoo!

‐ I love it; she is coming up like,

"I did it! I made it!"

‐ Yeah!

‐ Let's take a look at that instant replay.

‐ ♪ Take me to the money, honey! ♪

‐ She gets a clean launch

and brings her legs into a flying V

in tribute to hard rockers everywhere

and scoring herself a front‐row seat

right next to the target.

‐ Mike, a really impressive score for Sarah.

She has to be happy. 7'7".

She's standing by with Simon right now.

Simon? ‐ All right, Sarah.

So I just got your official score,

and you are one step closer to going

to all the rock concerts you want

'cause you're moving on to the semifinals!

Yeah! Back to you in the booth!

‐ Our top five are set,

and they are one step closer

to winning it all.

‐ Stick around, because coming up,

we're gonna send people flying through the air‐‐

again. ‐ Whoo!

Whoa!

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball,"

where it's time for the semifinals.

We're down to five athletes,

and that $10,000 grand prize is just one round away.

‐ I mean, things are really heating up.

I mean, can the stakes get any higher?

‐ Yes, they can, in the finals.

But for the sake of making this as exciting as possible,

no, they cannot.

What's up next?

‐ All right, up next is Rip‐N‐Fly.

Our athletes will be yanked 50' into the air,

and from there, they'll need to grab a rip cord

while moving forward and then pull it

at the height of their trajectory

in hopes of flying as far as they can.

‐ It all happens in a split second,

so you better be ready.

You've gotta release when you're at your peak.

Anything before or after will be a disaster.

‐ The four athletes who travel the farthest distance

will move on to the finals.

The other one will be going home.

All right, let's head on over to the cannonball platform,

where our first competitor is Gabriell Smith,

our pineapple fanatic.

What do you think of Gabriell? ‐ Yes.

That is the confidence of somebody

who owns a pineapple costume and wears it.

‐ This is the semifinals.

I think she's just gonna bring the same

competitive spirit that she's had since the very beginning

and dominate in this contest.

‐ Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

You got this, girl. You got this.

‐ All right, pumping herself up.

‐ Yeah, and she looks like she's ready to go.

Three, two, one...

cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ [shouts]

‐ And she is floating through the air

and does a nice feet‐first landing.

Wow, she's gotta be happy with that round.

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?

‐ Gabriell with a sweet launch,

some might even say as sweet as pineapple on a pizza.

I wouldn't, but some might.

‐ Gabriell getting a sweet distance of 68'11".

‐ Not bad at all.

Who's our next competitor?

‐ Bronson Holland is up next. ‐ There we go.

He's been doing pretty well.

I mean, hell, he's in the semifinals.

‐ Yeah. What do you think about his stance right now?

It's kind of like a puppet on the string

waiting for his master to pull the cord

for his next action. ‐ Oh, well, don't worry.

Master's about to say, "Three, two, one, cannonball,"

and you're about to be lifted in the air.

‐ [laughs] ‐ I feel like a superhero.

‐ "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Bronson."

It's go time.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ And he is off. ‐ Whoo!

‐ He's flying. ‐ He is releasing.

‐ Oh! Yeah!

Yeah! ‐ Whoa.

‐ Complete back flop into the water.

‐ Whoo! ‐ A very awkward landing.

Let's take a look at the instant replay, Mike.

‐ Daredevil dad living on the edge

with an awkward stance to start.

Then he showboats with an out‐of‐control entry.

It's like I'm watching The Rock.

I wonder if Bronson can do that eyebrow thing.

‐ Ooh, rough landing, but he was still able

to get a distance of 70'4".

‐ He's fun to watch, and he does well

in these challenges.

Who's our next competitor?

‐ Our next competitor is Sarah Lipe.

I feel like she may love this one

because she's our local rock and roll girl.

‐ Absolutely.

It's like Bon Jovi at a concert

when he's flying over everyone, singing and playing guitar.

All that stuff. ‐ I love it.

‐ Higher, further, faster.

‐ This girl is focused.

‐ And she looks ready.

In three, two, one...

cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ [shrieks] ‐ And she is up.

And she is screaming the entire time.

Wow, that was really, really well done.

‐ Really impressive, Mike.

‐ Oh, man.

‐ And Sarah's score just came in.

She was crowd‐surfing up there, man.

72'1".

‐ That is what I'm talking about.

‐ Gnarly, dude!

‐ Coming up next is our sports journalist, Jenn LaMonaca.

‐ Whoo!

‐ What do you think of Jenn, Mike?

‐ Well, I think if Jenn can do better

than 68'11",

she'll be going to the finals.

‐ She's got a competitive spirit.

That has been getting her through

this entire competition.

‐ Oh, God.

Oh, Lord.

‐ Five athletes, one is going home.

Let's see what she does.

‐ Three, two, one...

cannonball! [air horn blares]

And she is up. ‐ She's flying.

‐ She's flying,

but a late release. ‐ Oh!

‐ A really late release. ‐ Yeah.

‐ [blows sharply] [groans]

‐ She's definitely gonna be on the bubble

for the leaderboard, Mike.

‐ We'll see if that costs her.

‐ With a score of 68'5",

Jenn puts herself at the bottom of the pack,

and she's in danger of going home

as we go to our last athlete, Army Sergeant Aaron Pina.

‐ Whoo!

‐ Aaron has been coasting by

each and every round.

He has literally been the last person to make it

in every single round.

He's gotta find his inner bomber pilot.

‐ Right. ‐ Anticipate his flight path,

and then let it rip.

‐ This could be the ride that takes him to the finals

or the ride that sends him home.

‐ I'm nervous. I'm nervous. ‐ I'm nervous for him.

‐ I'm nervous for him right now.

It officially all comes down to this.

Here we go.

Three, two, one...

cannonball! [air horn blares]

And he is off and is going,

and he lets go.

[crowd groans] Ouch.

‐ That did not look good.

That did not look too pretty.

‐ That looked like it hurt.

Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ Sergeant Pina reporting for belly‐flopping duty.

[patriotic music]

Thank you, may I have another, Drill Sergeant, sir?

[air whistling]

‐ And Aaron comes in at 65'9".

We salute you, Sergeant, but unfortunately,

that means you're going home.

All right, let's take a look at the leaderboard,

and look at the ladies running things right there.

There you have it. The finals are set.

And soon one of these four people

will be heading home with $10,000.

‐ Finals are next, and we're about to make

one person very happy.

Or if seeing sad is your thing, we'll have that too.

Stick around.

[upbeat music]

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball,"

where the finals have officially arrived.

We started with 12, but only 4 remain in the hunt

for our grand prize of $10,000.

‐ The pressure is truly on, Mike.

I can't wait to see which one of these brave athletes

will walk away victorious.

‐ Neither can I, Rocsi.

‐ Will it be sports journalist Jenn LaMonaca,

'80s rocker Sarah Lipe,

pineapple enthusiast Gabriell Smith,

or daredevil dad Bronson Holland.

‐ Let's get right to it and take a look

at our fifth and final challenge.

‐ It's time for the Cannon.

Our finalists will rocket down our souped‐up Mega Slide,

now 20' longer and with a 45‐degree launch at the end.

‐ I think we've really outdone ourselves,

but there's one more thing.

When they hit that launch,

they'll be in total darkness.

‐ Each athlete's maximum height

plus total distance equals their final score.

‐ This is the time to prove

that you're worthy of the finals of "Cannonball."

‐ First athlete on deck in the finals

is sports journalist Jenn LaMonaca.

What do you think of Jenn, Mike?

‐ Well, she started off

as a really confident competitor,

placing in second in the first two rounds.

Then she's kind of slowly teetering off.

You gotta wonder if the nerves are affecting her.

She needs a perfect run to win this competition.

‐ Good luck. Have fun. Have fun.

‐ Okay, okay. Okay, wait, wait. wait.

‐ She looks nervous, very nervous.

And here we go.

She is ready in three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Kind of a floppy entrance. She's got a lot of drag.

Good speed. She goes for a cannonball!

That is incredible!

‐ Whoo!

‐ She's proud of what she did,

but let's take a look at the instant replay, Mike.

What do you see?

‐ For someone who's usually on the sidelines,

Jenn showed us she's got game with a big reach‐up.

‐ Getting a height of 24'2",

then she went for a cannonball,

which limited her distance a bit

to 34'5", giving her a total score

of 58'7".

‐ You know, that's not a bad score,

but this is where the champions play,

so only time will tell if it's enough.

‐ We'll find out soon with '80s rocker Sarah

ready to go.

Welcome to the jungle, Sarah.

What do you think of her?

‐ She needs all that velocity she can get.

‐ That's right. ‐ She's only 5'3", 115 pounds.

‐ She's used to going to rock and roll concerts.

She's used to pyrotechnics, so she should not be startled

when she's coming out of that cannon.

‐ She seems focused, and she looks ready.

In...

both: Three, two, one...

cannonball! [air horn blares]

‐ Drifting to her right. Ooh, there's a ton of drag.

‐ [screams] ‐ Oh, wow!

Lands on her back.

You gotta be controlled and tight

when you come out of that cannon.

She was not either of those things.

‐ All right, we'll see what part of her body

hit the water first, but let's look

at this instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?

‐ Some drift and drag,

but Sarah explodes out of the cannon,

throwing her hands up like she's rocking out

to a guitar solo.

‐ That gave her a height of 24'2".

Then her awkward entry and left foot hitting first

resulted in a distance of 35'7"

for a total of 59'9".

‐ Hey, Rocs, now would be a good time

to pour some sugar on me

with one of your sweet leaderboards.

‐ Sounds good, Mike.

59 is more than 58,

so that means good‐bye to Jenn

and hello to our new leader, Sarah Lipe.

She's standing by with Simon right now.

Simon? ‐ All right, Sarah.

So your official score

is 59'9".

Do you think that's gonna hold up?

‐ I hope so. I really, really hope so.

I wish I would've done some things different,

but, you know,

we just gotta live on a prayer with that score.

‐ Living on a prayer.

Little nervous. Back to you in the booth.

‐ Don't go anywhere, because when we come back,

our final two athletes see if they've got

what it takes to bring home the grand prize.

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball."

It's finals time.

With two athletes left,

we're halfway through the final round.

That $10,000 grand prize is officially closer than ever.

‐ With a score of 59'9",

Sarah Lipe knocked off Jenn LaMonaca,

which puts '80s rocker Sarah

into the driver's seat

of this crazy train

halfway through our finals.

I can't wait to see which one of these brave athletes

will be crowned our "Cannonball" champion.

Gabriell Smith is coming up. Mike, how does she look?

‐ Gabriell is 5'10", 185 pounds,

so she has the length.

If she attacks that entry

and has no drag whatsoever down that slide,

she should able to get the distance she wants

and the height she needs to win this whole thing.

‐ Yes! Oh, we're doing the finals dance.

We're out here.

We're gonna get that W.

[laughs]

‐ She's gonna go home with $10,000.

She's gonna spend it on pineapples.

Gabriell is ready to go.

In three, two, one...

cannonball! [air horn blares]

Nice jump in.

No drag whatsoever.

She flies and uses her hands,

but does her feet hit first?

‐ Whoo!

‐ It'll be interesting to see how good her score really is.

‐ Thank you, "Cannonball"!

‐ She's happy with what she did.

She's celebrating in the water.

Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ Gabriell gains a ton of speed down that slide,

but when she goes through the cannon,

there's no push‐off.

‐ And that limited her height to 23' even.

With her foot hitting first,

she got only an average distance of 34'8",

adding up to a total score of 57'8".

‐ Which means '80s rocker Sarah

is still in that top spot

with her score of 59'9".

But, you know, Rocsi, every rose has its thorn,

and daredevil dad is looking to be that thorn

and knock Sarah out.

‐ Bronson Holland, the only guy

that was allowed into the girls' club today.

‐ I am absolutely terrified.

‐ Only Bronson stands between Sarah and $10,000.

It all comes down to this, Rocsi.

‐ The pressure's on.

‐ He looks ready to go. Let's see how he does.

In three, two, one...

cannonball! [air horn blares]

And he jumps into it. He attacks it.

Nice velocity. Nice distance.

‐ Whoo!

‐ Wow.

This is the one to beat.

‐ Whoo! ‐ He had a great, great run.

Let's take a look at the instant replay.

Mike, what do you see?

‐ A lot to like about Bronson's run,

but he held on to that sled too long,

and that clearly limited his ability to reach up high.

‐ Yeah, after being middle of the pack all day,

Bronson finally showed up,

but will it be enough to take home the win?

Simon is down with him now. Simon?

‐ Bronson, I just got your official score,

and it is 71'9".

And guess what, dude.

You just won "Cannonball"!

‐ Yes! ‐ You just won $10,000!

‐ Whoo!

‐ Oh! ‐ Yes!

‐ Oh, my God. How are you feeling right now?

‐ Simon, I feel so good.

I couldn't have done this without my family,

without you,

without my lovely audience,

and just‐‐ thank you guys so much.

Thank you. ‐ Thank everyone.

He thanked me too! He earned it.

Oh, Mike and Rocsi, back to you in the booth.

That was incredible.

‐ Congratulations, Bronson Holland.

Well, it was fast, it was fun,

and now it's finished.

For Rocsi Diaz and Simon Gibson,

I'm Mike Mizanin,

and this was "Cannonball."

[triumphant music]

‐ Well, that's the show, folks, from our bay of dreams.

Build it, and they will cannonball.

So long, everybody.

♪ ♪